


Political Toys

by samwise_baggins, Steve-Bucky-Stucky (Chemical30)



Series: Bound and Gagged [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Deadpool (2016), Political Animals, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BDSM, Bisexual Brock Rumlow, Bisexual Peggy Carter, Blow Jobs, Bucky and TJ are Twins, Chastity Device, Cock Rings, Cock Warming, Demisexual James "Bucky" Barnes, Everyone else are 'canon' sexuality, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Homosexual Jack Rollins, Homosexual Peter Parker, Homosexual Riley (Captain America Movies), Homosexual Sam Wilson, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Large Cock, Lingerie, M/M, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pan-romantic Gray-asexual Steve Rogers, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Restraints, Rimming, Rough Oral Sex, Sex Toys, Spanking, Steve wearing lingerie, Twincest, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-09-16 15:40:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 29
Words: 331,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9278369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwise_baggins/pseuds/samwise_baggins, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chemical30/pseuds/Steve-Bucky-Stucky
Summary: TJ and Bucky, twins, were separated in infancy. TJ grew up in politics, known across the nation as the first homosexual child in the White House. Bucky's life has seemed equally touched by good fortune with a prestigious job and a loving wife. But when TJ moves to New York, they discover the other's life is not what it seemed. Trouble finds the twins and they find themselves banding together for comfort and help, while trying to deny a forbidden love between them. And soon political turmoil envelopes them once more when all they want to do is love and play.





	1. A New Lease on Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pay strict attention to all warnings. If this isn't to your liking, **stop reading**. You have been warned, thank you.
> 
> In this chapter, references to non-con and attempted assault. Also, longing involving twincest (incest between twins).

Threading the fingers of his right hand through his long brown hair, Bucky checked the arrivals board against the information on his phone. The information for the plane flashed _‘Arrived Gate 23C.’_ Turning, nodding to his wife, Bucky broke into a sprint towards the distant gate, not wanting to leave his brother standing and waiting. Frustration built as he maneuvered among other people, stumbling around a small family taking most of the corridor, spread annoyingly over the space. “Twenty-three C, Nat,” he called, not looking to verify she remained with him. He had seen his brother only a handful of times over the years and now the vagaries of flight travel promised to make their first real meeting a negative, stressful encounter. He hoped TJ understood.

Natasha followed several steps behind her husband, weaving through the crowded airport with ease and grace. Her eyes scanned the area, trying to see if she could spot Bucky’s twin. “James . . . over by the window to the left,” she called out.

Nodding, Bucky veered in the direction his wife suggested. Spotting the man with nut-brown curls and light grey-blue eyes, Bucky smiled in relief. TJ was his identical twin, though the years and personal tastes dictated different hairstyles and some physical differences and such. Sliding to a halt in front of the other man, Bucky ran his right hand through his hair again, his left curled in what seemed to be an uncomfortable twist at his side due to a car accident some years before. “TJ! You made it!” He ignored an odd twist low in his gut as a response to finally being reunited with his twin, nothing more.

TJ broke into a grin as he saw his twin; though they didn’t know each other very well, having been separated shortly after birth due to their parents’ divorce, TJ had always felt a bond with his brother, a deep longing he never thought much into. “Bucky! Hey!”

Stepping close, Bucky pulled TJ into a one-armed hug, using his good right arm. “How’s Uncle Bud and Aunt Elaine?” Bucky asked dutifully, “and cousin Doug and Nana?”

“They’re busy, as usual. Mom is thinking about running . . . again,” TJ sighed and shook his head.

“Lord help the Republicans! She’s a hell of a Democrat!” Bucky chuckled, letting his brother go, a reluctance in the action that Bucky had to bury. “Hey, you haven’t met Nat!” Bucky turned towards his wife with a smile.

Just then, Natasha walked up beside her husband and offered TJ a smile; she didn’t acknowledge the reluctance Bucky had shown when pulling away from his twin.

“This is my wife, Natasha. Nat, my twin brother, Thomas.” Bucky looked from one to the other, praying the pair would get along. Nat could be very standoffish if she didn’t like someone.

TJ beamed at the redhead and offered his hand to her, “please, call me TJ, it’s an honor to finally meet you.”

Natasha took TJ’s hand and shook it; mirroring the brunet’s smile, she said, “it’s great to finally meet you as well, TJ.”

“Natsha’s from Russia originally,” Bucky supplied. “And TJ’s escaping from the DC social whirl.” Bucky reached for TJ’s baggage claim ticket, beginning to step towards the baggage claim area so they could get going; he wanted to get his brother home so they could really reunite, though he had to push away the thrill of excitement that swirled low in his gut at the idea. “She teaches at the Academy, too.”

Following his twin, TJ smiled, “really? Is that how you two met?” He stepped up to the luggage carousel and watched for his bag.

“Actually, yeah, met a few years back when we both began teaching there. She gave me pointers for my Russian language classes.” Bucky chuckled. “But you two won’t be able to avoid each other. After school productions will fall to you both, since you teach music and she teaches dance and drama.”

TJ looked at Natasha and smiled widely, his pale eyes sparkling, “that’s great!”

Natasha laughed and nodded, “yes, it will be a lot of fun. Luckily, our students actually take their classes seriously.”

TJ grabbed his duffel bag as it approached them on the carousel.

Bucky checked the ticket in his hand and nodded, handing it back, fingers lingering in a brief brush over TJ’s. “Need to show that to the guard so you can claim your bag. Are you shipping anything or do you have more stuff coming in this flight?”

Shrugging, ignoring the gentle hum of pleasure that came from Bucky’s lingering touch, TJ took the ticket and hitched the duffel onto his shoulder, “this is it, actually. None of the stuff in DC was actually _mine_.”

Following his twin, Bucky frowned softly. “Well, you can move in with Nat and me until you find a place. Things are expensive in New York, TJ, “ Bucky warned. He wondered just what stuff Uncle Bud and Aunt Elaine had prevented TJ from keeping and why. One duffel seemed hardly enough to hold clothes, books, pictures, and the other stuff an adult usually amassed over the years.

Frowning, looking between Natasha and Bucky, TJ licked his lips nervously, “I . . . I was just gonna stay in a hotel for a few nights until I found a place . . .”

A surge of near panic surfaced at the idea that TJ wouldn’t be close, would be in a hotel somewhere. “It’ll be cheaper to stay in our spare room, TJ. Save you hotel costs until you find an apartment or roommate or something. Nat? Didn’t one of the teachers have a roommate who left overseas to the Army recently? Hill, wasn’t it?” Bucky looked at Natasha, “Certainly not Rumlow . . . even if Rollins is in jail.”

Natasha shook her head, knowing, even though she’d just met TJ, that Maria Hill and TJ would not be compatible roommates , “I don’t think Maria is a good . . . fit, James. And no, we are not letting TJ stay with Brock, over my dead body.” The small redhead growled the last portion of her sentence, looking angry.

Glancing at his twin, Bucky nodded. “Of course not! Brock’s an ass.” He put his right hand on TJ’s shoulder and smiled, the feel of his brother so close at last soothing him. “We’ll help you find something. Some of the other teachers might know someone who wants a roommate.” He wondered if his best friend still had his extra room available or if he’d filled the space yet.

Still looking apprehensive, though a spark of excitement lit in his eyes at the idea of sharing a space with his twin, TJ looked at Bucky, “you’re sure? I really don’t mind staying at a hotel . . . I don’t want to impose . . .”

“We have a spare room, TJ, it’s no imposition!” He chuckled in return. Bucky flagged down a taxi. “You can make it up by buying food, okay?” He hoped that TJ would agree; Bucky wanted, almost _needed_ , his brother close to hand after all those years apart.

TJ nodded, smiling wide at his brother, “okay . . . as long as you’re sure . . . thank you.” TJ had always wondered what it’d be like living with his biological twin.

Gesturing into the cab, Bucky grinned. “So, ready for the start of school next week?” He slid in after his twin, arms brushing and thighs pressed together.

“I guess?” TJ laughed, leaning slightly into his brother’s body; he’d always gravitated towards any human touch, but Bucky was different. It felt _right_ being so close to his brother, “never actually taught before . . . so, we’ll see.”

“Well, the former music professor, Peggy Carter, was really organized. She’ll have left lesson plan suggestions and advice on each returning student. She was from a military family.” Bucky leaned over to tell the driver where to take them. He sat back, right arm going instinctively around his brother, damaged left hand capturing Natasha’s hand. He didn’t say why the academy hired TJ instead of their former teacher.

“Do you know why she left?” TJ asked; he had wondered why the academy had hired him . . . he had no experience teaching and the offer had seemed too good to be true. The smaller brunet curled into Bucky’s embrace, fighting the instinct to nuzzle against Bucky’s neck.

Bucky glanced at Nat then grinned at TJ, comfortable with TJ’s response, despite the newness of holding his twin so close. Bucky was a normally outgoing man who didn’t mind hugging or close contact, so being able to cuddle his brother, and not get rejected, was at the least pleasant. ”Yeah, she went back to England to get married to her childhood sweetheart.”

“Oh,” TJ smiled, nodding, “that’s nice. England is beautiful.”

“Peggy was from London,” Bucky added, “so, I guess she and Liz wanted to settle down in a familiar city.”

“She was gay?” TJ asked softly; he’d been worried that working in a private academy he’d have to keep his sexuality hidden or risk offending parents.

“Bi-sexual, actually.” Laughing, Bucky nodded. “Still is, I’d guess.” His laugh dropped off and he sighed, “but there’s a nasty rumor that the Admin was relieved to not offer her a tenure.”

Grimacing, TJ nodded again, “I suppose that hiding my sexuality is kinda pointless, huh?”

“You _did_ come out publicly when you were fifteen, TJ. I think the Admin knows you’re gay,” Bucky pointed out. He glanced to Nat for her opinion.

Natasha nodded, looking thoughtful, “probably. Most of America knows you’re gay,” she looked at TJ.

“Yeah,” TJ sighed and then shrugged, “they knew when they hired me . . . so, it shouldn’t be an issue, right?”

“I’d think as long as you don’t flaunt it. You know, act normal, not stupid,” Bucky smiled hugging his brother briefly. “It’s not like gay guys throw themselves at anything masculine.”

Laughing, TJ nodded and released a deep breath, a jolt of excitement thrumming through him at each and every touch Bucky gave him, “yeah . . . I’m just happy to have a fresh start, ya know? Well, as fresh as a former first son can have.”

“Well, Aunt Elaine did write and say you were having trouble fitting into DC society, but I figured she was just being political or something.” Bucky shrugged. “I’m glad you accepted the job. Uncle Bud said something about holding out for something better, but I don’t see what’s better than a prestigious academy where your own twin already teaches.” He grinned mischievously at TJ.

“He wanted me to teach at a university, his alma mater,” TJ shrugged, looking down at his hands and then back up at Bucky and Natasha.

“A university can’t pay what the private academy can, TJ. Uncle Bud’s just trying to keep you in the niche he built for you and Doug when we were kids.” Bucky shook his head. “Oh, here we are,” he gestured to the building the cab pulled in front of.

TJ looked at the brownstone and smiled, “it’s nice.”

Paying the driver, Bucky waited for Nat to slide out, graceful as always, then followed. He turned and offered TJ a hand out without considering how odd it was for two men; he only knew he loved touching his delicate brother. Bucky smiled at his rather quiet wife. She got that way at times, so he was used to it. “We have half the second floor. The other half belongs to a family that won’t associate with Nat because she’s Russian. We ignore them. Third floor is split into three apartments. One belongs to a nice old lady and her nephew. Another is used by a pair of college girls. And the third is where my best friend lives. You’ll meet him later. His name is Steve. First floor belongs to the super and maintenance and stuff. The attic is rented to some recluse I’ve never met. Wayne, I think?”

Grinning widely at his twin, TJ took Bucky’s offered hand and let him help him out of the cab. When Bucky’s hand enclosed around his, TJ nearly gasped at the intense pleasure that came from such a simple touch.

“Wade,” Natasha supplied, not minding that Bucky offered TJ help out of the vehicle, “he’s a burn victim and doesn’t come out very much.”

After a long moment, Bucky blinked and let go of TJ’s hand. Nodding, he added, “the kid on the third floor, Peter, delivers groceries and stuff, so if you wanna order food and pay delivery, you can call him to do the shopping. I think that’s how Wade does it.”

TJ nodded, slipping the strap of his duffle over his shoulder; he looked up at the building. It was homely and warm, nothing like Aunt Elaine’s large urban home in DC.

Once Bucky let them inside, he led them to the second floor to their side of the hall. He unlocked the door but paused, glancing over, eyes roving over his petite wife then his tall, lean twin.

“I hope you’re not allergic to cats, TJ,” Natasha said, looking up at the taller brunet next to her. “We have one.”

“We have two, Nat,” Bucky chuckled, “a mom cat and her remaining kitten, though Nat’s trying desperately to find a home for the kitten.”

Shaking his head, TJ smiled, flushing under his twin’s roving eyes, enjoying the way his brother looked at him, “nope, not allergic. I’ve always wanted a cat but Mom never let us have one growing up and any apartments I lived in, in DC, didn’t allow pets.”

“Well, maybe after you find a place you can take the kitten,” Natasha smiled at her husband’s twin, at first glance TJ had looked identical to Bucky, but the more she watched TJ, the more differences she could spot. Bucky was thicker, had a lot more muscle mass, whereas TJ was lean, sallower. Their eyes were the same icy blue, but TJ’s seemed slightly wider, making him appear younger - - innocent. And, of course, Bucky’s damaged arm was another significant difference between the two. She couldn’t help but notice the looks and touches that were being exchanged between the two men, the two _brothers_.

Walking into the apartment, Bucky stopped and scooped up a small grey bundle of fluff with his left hand, able to handle such an insignificant weight as a nine week old kitten. He turned and grinned at TJ, offering the tiny cat to the other man. “Welcome home, TJ.”

TJ smiled, stepping in after Bucky, his eyes inadvertently taking in his twin’s fit form, flushing once he realized what he was doing he moved his eyes away from his brother to take in the space around him, “thank you. I really appreciate all this.” He smiled at his brother and took the kitten.

Wrapping his right arm around TJ’s neck, he pulled his twin closer and hugged hard, giving him an unconscious quick kiss on the cheek. “Hey, you’re my brother,” Bucky whispered harshly. “Anything I can do, right?” He grinned at TJ. Bucky had always been a man who didn’t mind showing his affection for his friends, public opinion be damned.

Letting his twin pull him into a hug, TJ’s smile grew wider and he looked over at Bucky, his cheek tingling slightly from where Bucky had kissed him. Back in DC, his family hugged and gave polite kisses. . . but nothing had felt genuine, everything had been so forced. But with Bucky? TJ could feel that Bucky was genuinely happy to help him. TJ always loved any type of human contact, his body thrived with it.

“Here, give that bag to Nat,” Bucky instructed, smiling at his wife with a wink. “So, that’s the kitten. If you’re thinking of adopting her, you might wanna get to know her.”

Natasha didn’t even wait for TJ to hand her the duffle, she simply slid it off his shoulder and then carried it into the guest room. TJ grinned, cradling the kitten close to his chest as he started petting it’s soft grey fur.

Bucky nodded, reaching over to stroke the kitten, too, his hand caressing over TJ’s. Reluctantly he drew his hand back, fighting the surge of unexpected desire in his groin. Flushing, Bucky laughed off his odd response. “Not even named yet. Best advice is to say her name and rub your cheek on hers, over and over. She’ll get used to you and her name quicker that way. Great way to bond.”

Smiling at Bucky, TJ nodded; he’d have to think of a name for the little kitten. TJ looked around the space again. Seeming not to notice his twin’s desire though TJ himself was thrumming under all the touches, his body aching for something more . . . something _intimate_. He quickly tried to shove the thought away, knowing he shouldn’t be having such desires for his twin.

“As you can see, that’s your room,” Bucky gestured to the spare room Nat exited. “And that room over there is mine and Nat’s. Bathroom there,” he pointed with his right hand, his wedding ring glinting; due to the damage on his left hand, he’d had to switch which hand held his ring. “And the living room is separated from the kitchen by the island right there. We tend to eat at the island or in the living room. Nothing formal here.”

“That’s great . . . I’ve spent my whole life being formal,” TJ laughed, he watched his twin’s every move . . . he couldn’t seem to stop looking at Bucky.

“If you wanna watch something specific, we can argue it out, but we can record shows, too, so shouldn’t be a big problem. There’s a TV in your room, too, if you wanna escape us.” Bucky turned and gestured to the entire apartment. “Not a bad set up, really.” Bucky truly hoped TJ would decide to stay with him and Nat.

TJ shrugged, petting the kitten and smiling as it began to purr loudly, “it’s amazing, really. I like it a lot.” He felt whole being with his biological brother once more, being so close to his twin.

“Nah, what's amazing is that if you go out back a block you’ll get to the campus of the academy, so we can walk to work.” Bucky smirked, as if he’d arranged such a surprise on purpose.

“That’s really good news,” TJ laughed, “I hate driving or taking public transport.”

“Well, no real parking in this city, so public transport or your own feet are the best options. Cheaper just to walk.” Bucky headed for the kitchen. “Hungry, TJ?” Bucky really needed to distract himself from the odd interest; he felt it must be due to their sudden, instinctive closeness. Bucky only really felt close to two other people and was sexually attracted only to those two. His body must be confused by having a third person shoved into his sphere of comfort.

“Sure, I can eat,” TJ nodded, once more watching Bucky’s backside, how the lean muscle rippled under his twin’s shirt.

“Can you cook?” Bucky glanced over smiling. “I can teach you a thing or two about cooking, but Nat’s the real whiz in this family.”

“I may be spoiled but I’m not invalid,” TJ chuckled, “I can cook.”

Nodding, Bucky said,”burgers and breakfast are my specialties.”

TJ followed Bucky into the kitchen, Natasha walked up behind her husband and wrapped her arms around Bucky's waist. She pushed herself onto the tips of her toes to kiss the back of the brunet's neck, letting her lips linger on the skin there for a few moments. She had been quietly observing the twins, how they interacted with one another; Natasha was shocked to see that her husband seemed _sexually aroused_ . . . she wrote it off as a biological reaction to all the touching the two men had been doing. She turned to look back at TJ, giving the other man a wink she said, “this guy makes a mean omelette.”

Bucky hummed in appreciation of his wife’s attention. Placing his right hand over one of her’s, Bucky grinned at his brother. “If you’re tired, we understand, TJ. Just let us know if you need anything. And watch out behind you. That’s Sascha, the momma cat. She’s stalking you, probably for holding her precious baby.”

Glancing over his shoulder, TJ looked at the larger cat that was watching him intently. Setting the kitten back on the ground, TJ straightened back up and looked at Bucky and Nat, “yeah . . . I guess I should probably unpack some things . . . I promise I won't be here long, I'll start looking for places right away. But, I really appreciate you two for letting me stay here.”

Sascha ran over and immediately nosed at the kitten then, surprisingly, rubbed at TJ’s legs in a crossover pattern, purring lightly. Apparently, she approved of their newest housemate. With a small bat at the little grey fluffball, momma cat herded baby cat away.

“Not a problem, TJ, really,” Bucky confirmed, smiling, left hand settled over Natasha’s around his waist, rocking slightly and enjoying her cuddle; he forced away the curiosity over how it would feel to cuddle with TJ like that. “As long as you need. Tomorrow you should come with us to the Academy. No official classes yet, but the newest freshmen will be starting so their parents like to see the faces of the professors that’ll be teaching their children. While you’re there, you can get the tour, see your rooms and instruments, check out the stage and stuff for performances . . . and see if Peggy left you her normal sound advice.”

“That sounds like a good idea, that way I won't be lost on the first day,” TJ nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you know if the academy has a piano?” He needed to get his thoughts off of his twin; TJ figured once he settled down a bit more, that the odd desires for his brother would fade away.

“Yeah,” Bucky chuckled and opening the fridge. “A regular kinda school piano, I think. Not sure the brand. Baldwin I think. But it sounds good.”

Nodding, happy with that answer, TJ said, “if it's alright with you, I think I'm going to unpack a bit and maybe try to get a nap or something. Flying sucks.”

“You do that. Dinner’ll be ready in a few hours. Thinking steaks?” Bucky glanced over and licked his lips then turned away, still enjoying his wife’s cuddle.

“Sounds great,” TJ said and thanked his brother and Nat again before slipping away to go unpack. He tried to ignore the spike of jealousy he felt when he watched Natasha and Bucky cuddle; it wasn’t right to feel that way about his _brother_.

**************

Finishing the tour of the school, Bucky grinned at TJ. “I’ve got a few things to go over in my classroom, but if you want to wander on your own, feel free. Or you can hang in your music room or classroom for when parents come by for this open house.” Bucky said, turning back to go inside keeping his eyes off his brother’s lean form.

TJ watched his brother go and then looked around the hallway, some teenagers wandered the halls with their parents. Taking a deep breath, the brunet teacher continued down the long hallway. The campus was pretty large for a high school and it took a couple minutes before he crossed the quad and entered the large classroom that would be his in just a few days.

The sound of someone walking down the outer hallway came through the open door. A tall, muscular blond man with a narrow waist and bulging arms glanced in. He grinned, his blue eyes dancing, and called “Heya, Buck, nice haircut.” The man kept going, disappearing down the hall before TJ could correct the mistaken identity.

TJ frowned softly, his mouth open slightly from trying to correct the stranger . . . the very good looking stranger; TJ smiled softly, maybe the wrong feelings towards his twin were starting to go away. Shaking his head, TJ walked over to the desk and began looking through the files, hoping that Bucky would be right about the previous teacher leaving some lesson plans.

The lesson book left behind was in neat, legible handwriting. Her notes were precise and observant, with small remarks concerning each student which would be returning. She had even written notes on which instruments might need tuning or replacing by the end of summer and a note that the costume closet would need sorting since the students hadn’t left it in the best shape after the last musical performed there. The woman, Peggy Carter, had apparently loved her job and wanted to smooth the transition in teachers over.

Looking over the notes, TJ nodded and then rolled up the sleeves of his white button-down shirt. He went over to the large closet to begin assessing the condition of the instruments.

“What have we here?” a rasp drawled from the doorway, deep but smoky. A dark-haired man with equally dark eyes lounged against the doorjamb, muscular arms crossed over his sculpted chest. “Since when did you take an interest in music, Barnes?”

Jumping at the unexpected voice, TJ whirled around and took in the muscled form of the other man. Shaking his head, TJ offered the newcomer a smile, “It’s actually Thomas . . . Thomas Hammond . . . Bu - - James is my twin . . . I’m the new music teacher?”

“James, huh?” the man grinned and straightened, stepping into the classroom. “Welcome to Brooklyn Academy, Thomas Hammond. Took over for the Brit, huh?”

“Yeah,” TJ nodded, he stepped out of the closet and wiped his hand on his pants before offering it to the other man, “I didn’t catch your name?”

“Didn’t give it,” the man grinned, sounding friendly enough. “Brock Rumlow, phys ed.” He took TJ’s hand and gave it a firm, but not punishing, shake.

TJ blinked, _Brock Rumlow_? Was this the man that both Bucky and Natasha had seemed not to like? Dropping his hand, TJ rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, “P.E., huh? Guess we won’t cross paths all that often.”

“Shame,” Brock said, checking over TJ’s lanky frame. “But there’s always meetings and lunch and assemblies and after work. You like dancing? There’s a great club over on eighth.”

Flushing under Brock’s gaze, TJ cleared his throat and shrugged, “I . . . uh . . . I don’t do much clubbing or anything - -”

Brock interrupted TJ’s excuse with a knowing smirk, as if he didn’t believe a word of TJ’s excuse, “I know a couple girls we could take. You ain’t too bad looking, so you’d be popular.”

“Thanks?” TJ’s brows furrowed, the more time he talked with Brock, the more he understood Bucky and Nat’s dislike of him, “but . . . like I said, clubbing isn’t my scene . . . and neither are women.”

“Whatcha mean, women ain’t your scene?” Brock laughed as if he thought it was a joke. “You can’t be a monk. Though your brother certainly was before he snatched up that sweet redhead.” But something about the way Brock eyed TJ said the darker man knew something he wasn’t sharing.

TJ’s eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at the burly man in front of him, “I’m not a monk . . . I like men, and don’t speak about my brother or his wife like that, it’s disrespectful,” he honestly hoped the admission would make Brock uncomfortable and he would leave.

Letting his eyes rove over TJ again, more leisurely, Brock stepped closer. “Really? Now, that’s good news . . . your brother’s a damn prude,” he verbally pushed again.

A shiver ran down TJ’s spine and he backed up, away from Brock, until his back hit the wall behind him. Trapped, TJ looked at the other man, “I’m afraid it’s not good news for you, Brock. And, really, I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking about my brother like that,” the smaller man tried to keep his tone firm but his eyes kept darting to the doorway behind Brock, hoping someone would come in and get this asshole out of his classroom.

“If your brother hadn’t gotten my best friend fired for _teaching_ , I might respect him.” Stepping a bit closer, leaning in, Brock drawled, “and why wouldn’t it be good news for me? I could show you one hell of a time, _Thomas_.”

“I’m sure your _friend_ deserved it, then,” TJ snapped and added, “because I’m not interested,” TJ said bluntly, his pale eyes snapping back to look at Brock.

“Course you are. I saw the interest in your eyes the moment you saw my tight ass.” Brock grinned wider. His manner got more relaxed, more _possessive_ as they remained closeted in the classroom alone. “And since you weren’t here to see what happened, I’m gonna have to go with your brother is still an ass . . . a nice, tight ass, but an ass.”

“Look, I’m telling you I’m not interested - -” TJ snapped, eyes flashing. The possessive tone, the dominating demeanor scared TJ, “and maybe _you’re_ the ass, Brock.”

“And this is the music room,” a man’s voice sounded in the hall, followed by a woman’s.

“You like music, that’s great!”

A dark-skinned man looked in and his eyebrows rose at the sight of the pair of men. A woman and younger girl were right behind the new man. The man smiled, “hello? Brock, who’s this?”

Brock instantly backed off, almost as if burned, and shoved his hands deep in his pockets with a shrug, turning his back on TJ as if the man held no interest. “New teacher. Hammond.” He slunk from the room in a hurry, not even glancing at the parent and freshman standing there.

TJ released a breath and shook himself; slapping a smile on his face, he walked over to the trio, “TJ Hammond, I’ll be teaching music this upcoming year.”

Grinning, a slight gap between his upper front teeth, the man offered a hand. “Sam Wilson. ROTC. Glad to see the position filled so quickly. Just showing one of the new cadets around. She’ll be in the general classes for most of the day and in the cadet classes in the evenings.” Sam grinned at the parent and student, who stayed quiet either from politeness or nervousness.

Shaking Sam’s hand and then both the parent’s and student’s, TJ said, looking to the teenager, “looks like you’ll be having a busy schedule.”

She nodded. “I’m working hard to become an officer, sir.”

TJ was definitely not used to someone calling him _‘sir’_ and he wasn’t quite sure if he liked it, however, he gave the girl a smile and nod, “that’s good. Will I be seeing you in any of my classes?”

“If you teach piano, sir,” she said and offered a nervous smile. “I’m not the _band_ kind.”

“I sure do,” TJ grinned, “it’s actually my instrument of choice.”

Sam chuckled. “Ah, then I’m sure you’ll both be happy in the coming year. Let me show you both the training facilities.” Sam offered TJ a grin and guided the pair of females from the music room.

After the trio left, TJ walked back into his classroom and slumped into the chair behind the desk. The encounter with Brock replaying in his head over and over again. Why had he told the other man he was gay? It had been a stupid plan that ended up backfiring, but he’d been so angered by the way the other man spoke about his brother that he couldn’t think straight.

TJ’s phone alerted that a text came through.

Pulling out the cell phone, TJ looked down at the screen.

Bucky had texted him, _‘lunch? Meet in the quad.’_

Pocketing the phone, TJ hurried out of the room, anxious to see his brother and try to get his mind off of his odd encounter with Brock.

As he hurried down the hall, he passed the tall blond again. The other man grinned and waved briefly, not stopping, “heya, Buck.” He turned the corner down a different hall.

Grumbling under his breath, TJ wanted to shout that he wasn’t Bucky . . . he honestly didn’t even think he and Bucky looked all that similar. Shaking his head, TJ stepped outside, into the quad to look for his brother.

Grinning widely, Bucky waved to TJ. He stood alone in the quad. “Hey, we can go eat in the cafeteria or just get food and disappear into the teacher’s lounge.”

“Doesn’t matter to me . . . well, aside from wanting to be wherever Brock Rumlow isn’t,” TJ grumbled.

“Ah, got to meet him, huh? Real ass, huh?” Bucky frowned and nodded, leading his brother into the appropriate building housing the cafeteria, student store, and other services. “Watch out, he’s trouble, TJ. Very big trouble.”

“Yeah, I know, and he doesn’t know how to take a hint, either,” TJ shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. “Or watch his mouth,” TJ added on a growl.

“Hint?” Bucky looked at TJ, worried suddenly. “He’s been hitting on you? I thought he was straight.”

“Nope,” TJ said quickly, “he’s about as straight as I am. Real pushy too.”

“Funny . . .” Bucky didn’t sound amused. “He was hitting on Nat a few years ago, pretty aggressively.” Bucky paused, as if about to say something then let his voice drop to a whisper, “cornered her in an empty office and nearly raped her, TJ. Be careful.” Bucky slipped into line behind a pair of teachers TJ hadn’t met yet.

“What?” TJ’s eyes widened, “how the hell hasn’t he been arrested?”

Shaking his head, Bucky ground out, “Admin requires more than _he said, she said_ for evidence, TJ. No one else saw.” He looked at his brother. “We got married pretty shortly afterwards and he’s left her alone ever since.” A small smile crossed Bucky’s face, eyes almost gleeful, as Bucky added, “that, and she got away using martial art skills he didn’t know she had. He walked funny for a couple of weeks.”

Frowning, looking concerned, TJ looked at his brother and then around the large cafeteria, “I don’t . . . that doesn’t make _sense_. If he almost raped her . . . he should be sitting in a jail cell. Not free and roaming around a _school_ full of vulnerable teenagers.”

Bucky sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

Huffing, looking unsatisfied with Bucky’s response, TJ looked around the room again, “where is she, anyway?”

“She’ll be along in a few minutes. Just talking to some potential students. Telling them about the audition process.” Bucky walked two trays down the line, accepting food on both, though not necessarily the same exact foods. “Is Rumlow the only one you got to meet, TJ?”

TJ shook his head, “no, I met Sam Wilson . . . seems like a nice guy. And this massive blond . . . I saw him twice and both times he thought I was you.”

“Massive . . . blond?” Bucky chuckled, looking amused. “Could be Thor . . . he’s pretty massive. Teaches some of the ancient history and languages. Some mythology, too. Started here about four years ago.” Bucky nodded towards a table by the windows. “And Sam’s a pretty good guy. He’s a Sergeant in the Army and works with the ROTC program here.”

TJ walked with Bucky over to the tables and sat down. Natasha slipped in besides her husband a few minutes later.

“They’ll get used to you after a few days, TJ. No one really knows I even have a brother, let alone a twin. Never came up.” Bucky pushed Nat’s tray to her seat and began opening his milk. “You can always tell them you’re not me.” He brushed his hand over her’s.

“Or you two can really start messing with people,” Natasha grinned, opening her juice and taking a sip.

With a laugh, Bucky nodded. “Might be fun.” He grinned at his twin. “If Brock confuses us, I can give him a couple of black eyes . . .” Bucky offered.

“Oh, got to meet Rumlow?” Natasha quirked a brow at TJ, looking murderous, taking a bite of the salad Bucky had gotten her.

“Yeah, he’s being a typical asshole, too,” Bucky said, picking up his fork. “Apparently, he’s off pint-sized redheads and onto tall brunets.”

“Whatever you do, just try not to be alone with him . . . he gets handsy when he thinks no one can see,” Natasha offered with a roll of her eyes at her husband’s comment about her size, “complete tool. Thank God, Rollins was fired. Those two together were ridiculous.”

“Steve always managed to keep them in line,” Bucky snorted, frowning. “He’s on vacation. Due back soon but not sure exactly when.”

TJ sighed and nodded, “why hasn’t Brock been fired for sexual harassment?”

“Because he only ever does it when he’s one on one, TJ. No one’s pressed it because they haven’t had _proof_ ,” Bucky reminded on a sigh, eating his macaroni and cheese.

Taking a bite of his own salad, TJ shook his head, “that’s not right. If he get enough complaints, it shouldn’t matter, right?”

“He doesn’t get complaints, though,” Bucky looked up. He forced a grin and waved at someone behind TJ. “Hey, Thor, come meet my brother, TJ!”

TJ looked over his shoulder, hoping that the blond he kept running into in the halls would no longer get him and Bucky confused.

Thor was certainly as massive as promised, even taller than the blond TJ had seen in the halls. The man also had longer hair and a more European style of dress. He certainly wasn’t the man from the hall. With a huge grin, the tall, well-built man strode over and said, loudly, “hello, brother of James. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He offered a large hand.

TJ shook Thor’s hand, feeling incredibly small standing next to the very large man, “nice to meet you too, Thor. I’m Thomas, but please, call me TJ.”

“TJ it is. Are you teaching here now?” Thor beamed at Natasha and Bucky then turned back to TJ.

Nodding, TJ answered, “yeah, I’m the new music teacher.”

With a laugh, Thor nodded. “I look forward to hearing your students play. I must go attend my parents and students. Please, excuse me.” The tall Norwegian moved off to a small group of students and parents along one wall.

Bucky grinned. “Thor won’t mistaken you again, TJ,” he chuckled.

“That wasn’t the blond from the hall,” TJ shook his head, taking another bite of his lunch.

Bucky looked mildly surprised and glanced to his wife. “Not many big blonds here . . .”

“Steve?” Nat offered after swallowing another bite.

“Would he be back from England already?” Bucky asked. “He never said he was coming back from the wedding yet.”

Natasha shrugged, “only two men I’d describe as _massive blonds_ are Thor and Steve, and we know it isn’t Thor.”

“Huh,” Bucky glanced at TJ. “Well, it’s probably my best friend you’ve been seeing. I can text him and find out.”

“Rumlow just entered the cafeteria, looking for someone,” Natasha gestured to the stocky brunet with a tilt of her chin, her eyes narrowed in obvious dislike.

Bucky immediately rose to his feet, picking up his tray. “Want me to threaten him, TJ?” he asked softly.

“No,” TJ shook his head, “creep’s not worth it.” He hunched his shoulders and took another bite of his food.

“Okay, grab your trays and we can go back to the teacher’s lounge to finish eating. Don’t wanna lose my lunch.” Bucky gestured towards Brock with his head.

Both Natasha and TJ followed Bucky’s instructions, scooping up their trays to follow Bucky to the teacher’s lounge. TJ hoped they could get out unseen.

Settling at one of the round tables inside the private lounge, Bucky grinned. “Much better. Rumlow doesn’t come in here too often.” He looked up at TJ. “Other than him, you doing okay this unofficial first day?”

“Sure, everyone seems really friendly, and it looked like most the instruments were cleaned and tuned . . . so that’s a relief,” TJ smiled at his brother.

Laughing, Bucky nodded, “sounds like Peggy. She always kept things as neat as if she could do surgery or something in there. And wait until you meet Hill, in charge of ROTC. Then you won’t think everyone’s so friendly.” Bucky scooped up some of his loose hamburger.

Natasha smirked, “I like Maria . . . she doesn’t take anyone’s shit. I’d like to see Rumlow try to hit on her . . . she’d knock him on his ass.”

Bucky chuckled again. “Yeah, now that’s a fight worth getting pay per view for.” Bucky winked at TJ.


	2. Refusing to Repeat History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twincest feels and some acting on (petting, kissing), Reference to past Assault/ Rape, Reference to attempted Assault. Post Traumatic anxiety and reactions

The first day of the school year was hectic; students were all so busy catching up with one another that they hardly listened to the teachers. TJ found himself exhausted by the third hour; he’d handed out so many syllabi and explained that, _‘yes, I am Mr. Barnes’ twin’_ so many times that he’d lost count. The last week had been odd to say the least; no matter how hard he tried, TJ couldn’t stop having inappropriate thoughts about Bucky. Every touch shared with his twin left him wanting more and Bucky seemed to touch a _lot_ : his hand, his thigh, an arm around his shoulders. TJ found himself spending a lot of time with his brother, getting to know Bucky more. They spent most of their free time together, sharing stories and touches.

The bell for fourth period rang, signaling TJ’s first free period of the week.

TJ had managed to avoid Brock all of last week and so far, hadn’t run into him that first day. TJ assumed the P.E. teacher was just as busy as he was and didn’t have time to fool around. Grabbing an orange and a book from his bag, TJ walked out to the quad to try and relax; it was a beautiful day and he could use the peace and quiet.

After he’d been reading for only a few minutes, the sounds of students shouting came to him. After a moment, the words became clearer: “Fight! Fight!” Head snapping up, TJ dropped his book and quickly approached the ring of students. Of course he’d have to try and break up a fight on the first day.

Several students screamed, though none sounded truly terrified, and the knot to the side began to disperse as a pair scrabbling in the middle ignored those around them. A tall blond man in a grey button down shirt and khakis, vaguely familiar, reached out to pull the girls apart but one slammed back with an elbow, hard, and doubled him over. Another student called out, “run! Teachers!”

Students scattered but the fighting pair seemed oblivious, tearing at clothes and hair, spitting and biting and scratching. The blond successfully pulled one girl from the other, whirling around as the second girl launched at his back, dragging her nails down his cheek as he turned.

“Hey!” TJ shouted; he grabbed the second girl and pulled her back. He might not look it, but he took care of his body and went to the gym several times a week, so he was a lot stronger than he looked. He continued to hold the struggling girl, “calm down!”

The blond managed to struggle his half of the fighting pair to the nearby bench, calling out, “get a grip! This isn’t a bar!”

Suddenly several more teachers made it over there and took over, a woman with short, blunt dark hair grabbing TJ’s student while Sam Wilson grabbed the other girl. Both students suddenly seemed aware of their surroundings while neither teacher looked pleased. The four headed off towards the Admin building and certain discipline.

TJ walked over to the large blond, eyeing the scratches on the man’s cheek, “hey, you okay?”

Sinking onto the bench, breathing harshly, the blond fumbled in his pocket. Glancing, up, blue eyes holding pain and some distress, he nodded and pulled a small curved tube from his pocket, shaking it vigorously. He uncapped it with a trembling hand and put it to his lips, breathing in deeply. He ignored the blood on his face under the painful welts. Finally, he lowered the medicine tube and let out the deep breath. “You’re not Bucky,” he said in a breathless tone. It was the same blond from a week before.

Laughing, TJ nodded, “you’re very right, I’m not Bucky,” the brunet knelt down to get a better look at the welts. Wincing in sympathy, he cursed, “damn, she got you good.”

“Yeah, hurts, too,” the man answered with a wince. He reached up and touched the scratches gingerly, slipping the inhaler into his pocket with his other hand.

“I’m guessing you’re Steve?” TJ asked, looking at the blond. TJ couldn’t lie . . . this man was very attractive with his bright blue eyes and wide, strong shoulders. He was practically a modern Adonis, however, TJ’s mind still thought of his twin: Bucky’s wicked smile and pale blue eyes that sparkled when he talked about something he enjoyed. Flushing, TJ shook his head and forced himself to keep focused.

“Steve Rogers,” Steve held out his hand, full lips pulled into a wide smile, despite the pain from his injury. “Are you _related_ to Bucky, at least? Please tell me I’m not seeing a doppelganger of my best friend come to plot his demise?”

Chuckling, TJ nodded, “I’m actually his twin. Evil twin . . . totally plotting his demise.”

“Oh, can I get in on it then?” Steve laughed. “Buck never mentioned a twin. Doesn’t talk much about his family, even though we’ve known each other since we were ten.”

TJ shrugged, he tried not to think much into the fact that Bucky literally told _no one_ that he existed and the pain that the thought caused.

“He said he had a brother . . .” Steve grinned, “but never said you guys looked alike.”

“He wouldn’t have known . . . we were separated shortly after birth when our parents split up. We just started getting in contact with one another during the last couple years,” TJ answered honestly, relief coursing through him at the revelation that Bucky _had_ told Steve about him.

Nodding, Steve reached down and gripped TJ’s arm firmly, tugging him off his knees and to a seat on the bench. “Buck said something about you applying to work here? Did you get Peggy’s job then?” He felt surprised at the surge of sexual interest in the other man that pulsed through him; Steve had literally never felt sexual interest in anyone before and had always self-identified as asexual. Even this man’s twin, Bucky, hadn’t aroused such interest. Steve had been sexually active since college, but this was the first time he felt he might understand what others meant by sexual attraction. It unsettled him.

“Uh, yeah,” TJ nodded, trying not to let Steve’s show of strength get to him. Although, Steve provided an excellent distraction from his current thoughts regarding his twin . . . thoughts that should be _off-limits_. “I’m the new music teacher.”

“Did it freak you out when you and Bucky met face to face, finding out you look so similar?” Steve nodded with a continuing smile, pushing down his own ambiguous feelings over his reaction.

TJ laughed and shook his head, pushing away the guilt at the subtle reminder that Bucky was his twin, “I honestly don’t think we look that much alike.”

“Well, you’re slender and he’s a bit thicker, and your eyes are prettier,” Steve suddenly flushed and looked away, “and, uh, different hairstyles and clothes, but you could definitely pass for brothers.” Steve looked at his hands, embarrassed at his overt interest.

TJ could feel a blush run down his cheeks to the back of his neck; Steve had just complimented him. If Steve was interested in TJ, maybe a relationship with the blond could help TJ get rid of his thoughts about Bucky. He cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly at the blond, “thanks . . . we - - uh . . . we should get those cuts cleaned out. I think I have a first aid kit in my classroom?”

“Thanks,” Steve nodded and hopped to his feet, stretching slightly and offering a smile down at TJ from his six foot two inch height. He offered a hand.

Taking the offered hand, TJ smiled widely at Steve.

Steve pulled TJ to his feet, paused a moment, then dropped the other man’s hand, flushing lightly. Just because he felt interested didn’t mean Bucky’s brother would be.

TJ ran over to his former seat and grabbed the book he’d dropped and then led Steve to the large music room. Once inside, TJ crouched behind the desk to begin looking through the desk in search of the first aid kit.

Steve sank onto the sturdy desk, watching TJ with curious blue eyes, though he still remained flushed. “Like New York?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah,” TJ flashed a grin up at Steve before looking back down at the drawer he’d opened, “a lot more than DC. I’m looking for my own place right now . . . haven’t decided where exactly I want to live . . . I’m staying with Bucky and Nat for right now until I figure it out.” TJ finally pulled out the first aid kit and rose to his full six foot height.

Smiling up at TJ, Steve said, “pretty expensive to stay in Brooklyn on your own. Have you seen the rents? You’d do best to find a roommate.”

Setting the kit down on the desk, TJ opened it and began taking out the supplies needed to clean the scratches. “I know . . . DC was the same way. Could barely afford the closet that I lived in,” TJ laughed and tore open a disinfectant sheet to begin cleaning the cuts.

“I’ve got a spare room if you’re really that bothered living with _the couple_ ,” Steve said, almost absently, as TJ tended his cheek. “I live just upstairs from them . . . not quite as big an apartment but good enough for two.”

TJ quirked a brow at the blond, wiping at the welts with gentle pressure, “how much you charging for the room?” TJ pushed away the feeling of guilt and despair at the idea of moving out of his brother’s apartment . . . but he had promised Bucky and Natasha that he’d look for a place to live.

Naming a price that was high but far more reasonable than the rest of the apartments TJ had looked at, Steve let his eyes trace to the door. He stiffened noticeably. “Rumlow,” Steve’s voice sounded colder, withdrawn.

Looking over his shoulder, TJ frowned at the stocky brunet.

“Might want to be careful, Rogers. Didn’t you know? Hammond’s gay. Might ruin your reputation among the pretty parents.” The dark haired gym teacher smirked, arms crossed as he leaned on the doorjamb.

TJ glared at Brock, his body turning to face the other man as his arms crossed over his chest, “what about _your_ reputation, Brock? I’m sure the board would _love_ to hear about our little conversation the other day.”

“Think that was important?” Brock snickered. “Boy, you fags are self-centered.” He shook his head and began to straighten but stiffened as Steve lunged to his feet, hands fisted, glaring.

“Get the hell out of here, Rumlow, before I turn you in for your bigotry!” Steve growled.

Brock snarled. “Yeah, perfect little teacher, favorite of the Admin, huh? Someday, Rogers, they’ll find out you ain’t as perfect as they think.” Brock headed out the door and down the hall.

TJ shook his head and turned back to look at Steve, “he’s a real piece of work.”

“Trouble is, he thinks so, too,” Steve spat out, glaring at the door. “This place is supposed to be hate-free. If I could just get evidence against him, he’d be disciplined faster than Rollins was!”

“The guy is a creep, he’ll mess up eventually,” TJ sighed and threw away the bloodied wipe; he looked back at Steve’s cuts.

Sinking back to the edge of the desk, still glaring towards the door, Steve sighed. “Wish it was sooner rather than later. Any time I get close to pinning him, he slips away. And others back down from reporting him.”

“Well, I want to report him . . . guy cornered me in my room just last week on my first day,” TJ admitted with a growl.

Glancing at TJ, the taller blond shook his head, “I’m not going to put you in that spot. He’s been here forever, and you’re new. This may be a _hate-free_ place, but I can guarantee that if a new teacher _causes trouble_ , he’ll be the one they get rid of.”

“Plus, he’d just say I came onto him, and they’d believe his word over mine,” TJ shook his head again.

“And the parents won’t appreciate someone openly admitting his non-accepted sexual orientation teaching their kids. These people are pretty perverse. They scream equality, but they don’t really practice it. It’s the reason Peggy chose not to fight for her job, moving back to England instead of bringing Liz over here . . . her new wife.” Steve looked towards the window, his eyes sad.

“You and her? Were you a . . . thing?” TJ asked softly, noticing the forlorn look.

Nodding, Steve shrugged lightly. “Yeah, for over a year. But she met Liz again and things changed.” Steve offered TJ a not quite happy smile. “But Liz is good to Peggy, so I can’t blame them. I like that Peggy’s happy.” He’d been upset at losing his girlfriend and sexual partner, but Steve knew she had only been waiting for Liz to come back to her. What he’d had with Peggy had never been intended to last.

TJ nodded; he knew the beautiful blond was too good to be true . . . of course Steve was straight; his plan at trying for a relationship with Steve to distract himself from Bucky seemed to be failing before it even began.

“So,” Steve cleared his throat and looked back at TJ. “You still interested in the apartment? I can take it back outta the papers . . .”

“Yeah, I’m interested . . . but . . . will a kitten be okay?” TJ asked; he’d already fallen in love with the little kitten and he couldn’t possibly leave her behind, even if he was just moving a floor away. He’d named her Luna, and he’d already bonded with her.

Pausing, Steve slowly begin to smile, “so, Bucky got you looped into taking that last kitten, huh?”

“Yeah,” TJ grinned, “I couldn’t say no. Plus, always wanted a cat, just never got the chance.”

“Yeah, nearly got me to take her, actually. A kitten's no problem, as long as a puppy’s not a problem for you,” Steve answered, still smiling.

“No problem at all,” TJ smiled and looked at the blond, “what type of dog?”

“Golden retriever?” Steve asked on a laugh. “He promises to be a pretty big guy.”

“You really are the _All-American_ guy, aren’t you?” TJ laughed.

Groaning, laughing, Steve said, “not you, too? I can’t ever escape that image, that name, can I?”

“Sorry, pal, you are like the definition of _All-American Guy_. You even wear khakis!” TJ teased, smirking at the blond, his pale eyes dancing.

“Yeah, but I’m no longer captain of any team, so maybe we can just skip the nickname?” Steve asked hopefully.

“Hmm . . . if I can’t use that one . . . I’ll hafta come up with something else,” TJ flashed Steve a wicked smirk.

“So, uh, are we letting my cheek bleed through the disinfectant?” Steve smiled across at TJ, flushing once more.

Nodding, accepting that he might’ve gone too far, TJ backed off and finished cleaning and bandaging the scratches silently. Finally, after a few quiet moments, TJ closed up the kit and put it away.

“Thanks,” Steve whispered, sensing TJ’s change but not pushing. He slowly stood up. “Do you have lunch next period or was this it?”

“This was my prep period,” TJ smiled, “I’ve got lunch next.”

“I’m on lunch period now, but I’m free next period for prep, too, so . . . wanna get together and see the apartment?” Steve offered; the walk to and from being so short promised they’d get some time to look around and still get TJ a sandwich or something.

“Sure,” TJ nodded, “getting off campus might be a good break.”

“Great. I’m gonna go check on my classroom real quick, but I’ll meet you in the quad at the bell?” Steve turned towards the door, but glanced back at TJ.

“Sure thing,” TJ smiled, “see you in the quad, _Captain_.”

Doing a miniature double-take, grinning widely, Steve chuckled. “Sure thing,” he agreed and trotted from the room. He wouldn’t admit to the thrill he got from being called _Captain_ by the beautiful music teacher.

A few minutes later, TJ’s phone sounded off a text alert. TJ looked down and saw the message was from his brother.

_‘Did you just spend all period with my best friend and not tell him your name?’_

Flushing, TJ thought over the conversation with Steve and realized that he hadn’t given Steve his name!

_‘He texted me to ask what my brother’s name was.’_

Typing quickly, TJ replied, _‘you know me. Gotta keep the mystery alive.’_

_‘LOL. Well, Steve is definitely mystified.’_

_‘Did you tell him my name?’_

_‘Nope, he deserves it for not asking himself.’_

TJ smirked at his brother’s text before typing back, _‘I’m going to see how long it takes him to ask. Don’t tell him.’_

 _‘Steve can be shy and stubborn. I give him a few hours, maybe a day.’_ A pause in time happened before another text came through. _‘Nat says a week. LOL’_

 _‘I love your wife,’_ TJ replied quickly.

 _‘Me, too.’_ Again, Bucky paused before texting once more, _‘Steve’s second room is listed for rent in the paper.’_

_‘I know. I’m checking it out next period.’_

_‘He nearly adopted Luna, you know. He’s a big marshmallow.’_

_‘He told me. He seems really nice.’_

Bucky paused a moment then answered, _‘Yeah. He and Peggy broke up about six months ago. He’s single now.’_ Bucky didn’t clarify if he knew whether Steve was looking, or even interested in, someone other than a woman.

TJ didn’t answer Bucky’s text; he slipped his phone back into his pocket just as the bell went off. Gathering up his things, TJ left and locked his classroom before walking out into the quad to wait for Steve.

Steve already stood out there in the sunshine. He smiled and lifted his hand to attract TJ’s attention. “Ready to see the apartment?” he asked as he trotted over.

Smiling up at Steve, TJ nodded, “sure! Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” He followed Steve off campus and then the short walk back to the brownstone. He tried not to think about how he felt like he was _betraying_ his twin by looking at another apartment.

Leading TJ up to the third floor, Steve opened the door leading to the apartment directly above Bucky’s. A second apartment sat right across the hall and a third at the back of the floor, unlike the set up downstairs. Steve smiled and opened the door wide, allowing TJ to pass into the space first. It was similar to Bucky’s apartment, minus about a third of the living space the larger apartment sported, but it was still spacious enough to allow the two men to walk freely around without knocking into one another. A baby gate closed off part of the kitchenette and a puppy sat in there on newspaper, wiggling in excitement at the entrance of the humans. He yipped in excitement.

TJ smiled at the puppy and bent over to scratch it behind its ears. Peeking over his shoulder to look back at Steve, TJ asked, “boy or girl?”

“Boy. His name is Phil.” Steve paused as if about to ask something, flushed, and fell silent. He softly said, “and your room would be over here,” he gestured towards the door closest the bathroom.

Nodding, TJ straightened and, acting as if he didn’t see the look, continued on down the hall to look at what would be his bedroom if he moved in.

The room was spotless and well furnished, but neutral in gender preferences most people might decorate with. A window overlooked the fire escape and the view of the route to the campus. “I like it,” TJ smiled, turning around to look back at Steve.

Rubbing at the back of his neck, Steve smiled. “Really? Except for structural and paint, you can change whatever you wish. The furniture is able to be sold, if you don’t like it. Peggy left it behind and didn’t want it.”

TJ looked around the room, eyeing the space and then giving a small nod. The room was nice. TJ didn’t need much space to live comfortably; however, he couldn’t shake the weird, guilty feelings of even _looking_ at the apartment. He liked living with Bucky . . . he liked having his twin so close. Shaking his head again, TJ attempted to shove those thoughts away once more.

“Or I can move it to storage?” Steve offered, a slight worried frown crossing his face at TJ’s continued silence.

“No, it’s great . . . I don’t have anything and the furniture is really nice,” TJ gave Steve another smile.

Laughing, Steve nodded. “Yeah, I like it, actually, but Peggy hated it. She asked me to take it when she redecorated her own place.” He grinned at TJ. “And of course, the bathroom has a tub with shower head attachment . . . but it’s removable.”

“And you’re sure you don’t mind having me as a roommate?” TJ asked.

“Well, as long as you don’t throw wild parties, kick my dog, or bring home any drugs, you’re fine, right?” Steve said on a small laugh.

TJ blinked, his smile faltering . . . Steve couldn’t know about his past drug problem; it had to be a joke. No one knew, aside from his family back in DC . . . hell, not even Bucky knew. There was no way . . . Mom and Dad had kept that out of the press. He’d been clean for almost two years now . . . Steve had been joking.

“Uh, you okay?” Steve asked, smile fading. “You’re welcome to do whatever you want on your own. You’re an adult. but don’t bring it back here, right? I mean, I don’t mind even going to get you if you need a lift . . . but I prefer a safe, clean home . . . no alcohol . . .” Steve drifted off, feeling like he’d pushed some forbidden button by the other man’s reaction, but he really didn’t want the temptation of easily accessible alcohol close to hand.

Forcing a smile on his face, TJ nodded, he turned back to look out the window, “yep. No drugs in the apartment, you got it.”

Smiling hesitantly, Steve offered, “not that I’m accusing you of being a drug user, or anything, but . . . well, adults can make their own life choices, right?” Steve cleared his throat. “Think Luna will like Phil?” he asked, changing the subject once more.

“I don’t know. Only one way to find out though . . . I can bring Luna over later today? See how they get along,” TJ turned back to look at Steve.

“That’d be great,” Steve offered his smile again. He checked his watch. “We should get back so you have time to eat something before end of period.”

TJ nodded, he still looked a bit shaken but Steve could tell the brunet tried to appear normal. “Sounds great. You’ll have to write up a rental agreement or something . . . make it official.” The lean brunet swallowed; he looked around again. If everything went well, this would be his apartment . . . he’d be living with Steve not Bucky.

“Already have one,” Steve nodded. “Wrote it up during my vacation, actually.” He headed to the other bedroom and opened the door, revealing a large bed and matching desk in front of a window, drawing supplies lined up neatly. A bookshelf loaded with historical texts lined one wall. A large dark green painted metal cylinder stood by the wall near the head of the bed, out of the way, as if it was merely being stored there. Pulling a sheaf of papers from the desk, Steve turned to TJ and offered it. “Feel free to negotiate.”

Grabbing the papers, TJ nodded, “thanks, I’ll look it over today.”

“No negotiating on structural or paint changes, though. I don’t own the apartment so can’t change those things, myself.” He smiled and went to check on the puppy before letting them both out of the apartment.

“I’m not gonna bust down your walls, Stevie, relax,” TJ chuckled, trying to appear happy by the aspect of moving in.

Chuckling in answer, Steve nodded. “Well, the guy who interviewed last night kept wanting to do just that.” He threw TJ a bigger grin.

“Well, I promise not to tear down any walls or repaint,” TJ smiled.

“Great,” Steve walked towards the campus, falling in step with TJ. “I appreciate your understanding?”

“Of course,” TJ looked over at Steve, he let his eyes trail over the blond's handsome face, “any other rules I should know about?”

Steve looked thoughtful for a long moment then shook his head. “No drugs or alcohol in the apartment and no structural changes is about it. Any pet peeves? Special needs?” He hoped TJ would feel comfortable enough to stay there; Steve didn’t relish the idea of a complete stranger for a roommate. At least TJ had the recommendation of being Bucky’s brother, even if it still meant Steve would have to be more careful of his private life than without a roommate.

TJ shook his head, “nah, no special needs or anything.” The brunet looked ahead of him and then back at Steve. The blond still hadn't asked his name. He agreed to let TJ stay in his apartment and didn't even know his potential roommate’s name. Sighing, TJ ran his nimble fingers through his hair and said, “Thomas James Hammond . . . but I prefer TJ.”

Steve blinked and flushed brightly. “Oh . . . uh, I thought your first name was Hammond . . . Hammond Barnes. Guess I should’ve asked.” He’d assumed Rumlow had used TJ’s first name, not his last; Steve should have known better.

“Thank God that's not the case,” TJ laughed, shaking his head, “could you imagine? Hammond as a first name?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Steve chuckled. “I was trying to think of a nickname I could give you without insulting you, actually. But TJ’s nice. I like TJ.”

Sneaking a glance at the blond, TJ smirked, “thanks . . . Mom calls me Tommy but I really prefer TJ . . .”

“Well, my Momma used to call me Stevie, but I really don’t mind it,” he referred to TJ’s teasing from earlier. “Ready to go back to the campus?”

“I suppose. The kids are insane today . . . but it's only the first day, they're just catching up with one another,” TJ stated.

“We usually have a few fights in the first week. Maria says it’s a territorial thing,” Steve chuckled. “The girls are more violent than the boys, actually,” he touched his bandaged cheek.

“Well, hopefully we don't get any more,” TJ winced as Steve touched his injury and nodded, “oh yeah, I remember that from when I was in high school. Girls are vicious and fight to the death,” TJ laughed softly.

“Nah, they fight to _the pain_ ,” Steve countered on a chuckle. He walked beside TJ on the way back to the campus. “But at least they didn’t have weapons. We’ve had a couple of weapon fights in the past. Those kids are always expelled.”

“Shit . . . really?” TJ looked surprised; he figured that the students at this academy wouldn't be as violent as some of the kids in public schools.

“Yeah. Rich and entitled, there are a few who feel they should make the rules and rule the roost. They get taken down real fast, either by the other students or by the teachers when we catch them. Admin’s all about having evidence, so we can’t work on rumors, though we can warn and advise to our heart’s content.” Steve grinned at TJ, “but don’t let them see the fear, TJ. They smell it on you and try to walk all over you.”

Laughing, TJ nodded, “right. Real sharks, got it.” He stopped outside his classroom door.

“See ya later, TJ. I’ll get you a key to the apartment if you sign the agreement. But if you have a problem with something, we can talk it over before you sign.” Steve paused, swaying very slightly towards TJ then stopped, fear clutching inside as he realized what he was doing. He offered a wide smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, ran a hand through his hair, then turned and hurried off down the hall.

TJ’s mouth hung open slightly; Steve hadn't even given him a chance to say goodbye. Shaking his head, a small smile on his lips, TJ unlocked his door and stepped into his classroom to get ready for the next round of students. He hoped Brock would back off now that Steve had stood up for him.

**************

At the end of the day, a soft throat clearing sounded from TJ’s classroom doorway. His twin said, “ready to get out of here? You won’t have to worry about extracurricular until next week.” Bucky smiled softly at his tired looking brother, hoping he hadn’t over-worked himself . . . Aunt Elaine kept writing that TJ wasn’t well, despite how healthy TJ always seemed when Bucky saw him. He deliberately kept his eyes on the clock so he wouldn’t ogle his twin. It had been difficult to keep things in line the past week, but Bucky thought he’d done a reasonable job fighting the confusing, forbidden interest that had sprung up.

TJ nodded as he grabbed his things, “yes, please,” he laughed and stepped over to his brother, “how was your day?”

Without thinking, Bucky grabbed TJ into a one armed hug before letting him go with a very light flush. “Typical, actually. The freshmen are required to take a language so a lot of them act up. Had to give them a few warnings. The others come back because they want to learn, so they’re easier.” Bucky kept his left arm tucked securely to his waist, the fingers trembling slightly, showing his exhaustion.

TJ, keened softly, so softly that he _hoped_ Bucky hadn’t heard the noise the hug had caused. The smaller brunet cleared his throat with a flush and he looked down, noticing the shaking limb, TJ frowned, eyes softening with worry, “you okay, Bucky?”

Bucky lead TJ down a hall he hadn't really traveled yet. “Yeah,” Bucky threw a grin at his twin, “get tired for the first few weeks until the emotional battles are over. Then things get back to normal. I’m looking forward to Nat’s cooking tonight. You joining us or you got plans?” Bucky asked, smiling softly as he glanced at his slimmer, paler twin.

“Well, before I can agree to moving into Steve's room we have to make sure Phil and Luna get along okay. I told him that I'd bring Luna up to see,” TJ answered, unable to keep the frown off his face at the idea of moving out of Bucky’s apartment.

“So, the short answer is: Steve’s cooking tonight?” Bucky translated on a chuckle. “Good luck. He’s not much of a cook, unless you like salad or cold cereal or TV dinners.” Bucky lifted his right hand and knocked on the auditorium door. “Nat? Coming in . . .” Bucky led his brother into the auditorium, a room well set up for performances with a professional grade Baldwin concert piano sitting next to the stage . . . certainly not the _‘school piano’_ Bucky had told TJ they had.

TJ let Nat and Bucky talk as he walked over to the piano, his fingers ghosting over the black and white keys. Glancing over to make sure the other two weren't ready to leave yet, TJ sat down on the bench and began playing a soft tune, one he'd long since memorized. Music had always been an escape for TJ. He could often get lost in his own world and end up playing for hours without even realizing it.

After TJ finished the song, a hand fell to his shoulder, squeezing, and Bucky said, “convinced it’s tuned?” He sounded amused and a bit breathless, his eyes wider than earlier and a bit darker.

TJ jumped slightly, his head snapping up, and looked at Bucky, “oh . . . sorry, was I keeping you two?”

“Not a problem,” Bucky chuckled, dropping his hand to wrap his arm around Natasha instead. “I think my wife’s a bit in love with you, not that I can blame her. Might have to growl a bit for effect.” Bucky turned to Nat and took her hand in his, smiling. “Told you he could play.”

“You’re amazing, TJ,” Nat grinned, looking at her husband's twin, “you love playing, don't you? I could see it.”

TJ flushed and nodded; standing up, he said, “yeah . . . I've always loved playing.”

“And I’ve never even tried. Not very musically interested,” Bucky mentioned. “But I get it, TJ. You looked happy.” Stretching, Bucky winced as his left hand cramped. Bucky dropped his arm from around Natasha and began massaging his left hand with his strong right fingers; he looked towards the door. “We should get home. Luna’s got a date with Phil.”

Nat and TJ both nodded; she had suspected that once Steve met TJ that the blond would offer the room he'd been trying to rent out.

“Want to swing by Steve’s classroom and see if he’s still there? We can walk with him . . .” Bucky offered his wife and brother a grin.

“You two can head back,” TJ countered, still worried about his brother's hand, “I can catch up later.”

Shrugging, Bucky grabbed his wife’s hand and nodded. “Sure, but if you want to talk to someone while you’re walking, Steve’s usually over in the Humanities Wing.” Bucky turned to Nat. “When I get home, I’m gonna soak my hand for at least ten minutes in that stuff you picked up.”

Nat pressed up against her husband's side and let him guide her away, down the hall, as they chatted about their first day.

TJ watched the pair disappear around the corner and then turned to head towards the Humanities Wing. Sadly, he'd have to go past the gym; he just hoped Brock would have already left.

There was no sign of Brock at the gymnasium, but TJ’s luck hadn’t held out for long. The dark-haired physical education teacher stood in the doorway of one of the classrooms in the Humanities Wing, arms crossed, a leer on his face as he silently watched someone in the room before him.

TJ walked up behind Brock and saw that the man was watching Steve. Clearing his throat, TJ said, “Brock.”

In the room, Steve whirled around; he’d been unaware he’d been observed while hanging his newest posters in his room. Brock, too, whirled around, but he sneered at TJ upon seeing the other man. Stepping close to the new music teacher, Brock leered, “knew you’d come looking for me.”

“Not interested in you, Brock. Not too fond of assholes,” TJ shot back, eyes narrowed. He was a few inches taller than the other man, but Rumlow definitely outweighed him in muscle mass.

“That’s not the way I hear it, faggot,” Brock sneered, causing Steve to ball his free hand into a fist and stiffen into a protective stance.

TJ’s eyes narrowed and he growled out, stepping closer to Brock, “what did you just call me?”

Letting his eyes rove over TJ’s lanky frame, Brock shook his head. “I called you an ass-fucker,” he pronounced slowly, as if TJ was an idiot. A low growl sounded from the direction of the tall blond, but Rumlow ignored Steve.

Not backing down, TJ glared harder, “at least I can have someone without trying to _rape_ them. What’s the matter, Brock? No girl satisfied by you? Gotta try and corner them . . . and even then, you can’t quite measure up, can you?”

“You wanna see how I _measure up_ , you fuckin’ fairy?” Brock stepped forward and Steve leaped in the way, between the men.

“Rumlow, leave. I’ve got to lock up the room.”

“Fuck you, prude.” Rumlow glared up at Steve. He turned back to the room and, looking around, called out, “nice . . . posters, Rogers.” Before Steve could respond, Brock sauntered off as if he’d never been caught secretly checking out the well-built blond.

TJ scoffed and shook his head; he glared at the back of the other teacher until Brock disappeared around a corner. Looking back at Steve, TJ grumbled, “that guy is so _creepy_.”

Steve, still holding several large sheets of poster-board containing what could be beautiful archaeology photo shots from around the world, shuddered. “Yeah, a real freak. I guess we should be thankful he’s not been hitting on the students.”

Sighing, TJ nodded and licked his lips nervously, “you need any help? I came by to ask if you wanted to walk back together? We can grab Luna on the way up?”

“I can finish tomorrow,” Steve smiled and put this drawings on his desk. “I’d love to walk back with you. I’m eager to see Luna and Phil meet.” Steve grabbed a backpack and slung it over his shoulder then stepped up to TJ, smiling down at the slightly shorter man.

Smiling back at the blond, TJ stepped into the hall to allow room for Steve to lock his classroom door. “Me too.”

Quickly locking up, Steve began to walk with TJ. “Hungry? I can order something . . . or there’s salads in the fridge . . .”

“Sure, whatever you want, didn't get to eat lunch so I'm starving,” TJ grinned, falling into step with Steve.

“Sorry about that. I meant to get you back in time to grab something.” Steve rubbed his neck and flushed lightly. “There’s an Indian restaurant around the block from the apartment . . . or I could get pizza or something?”

“Don’t worry about it,” TJ waved dismissively, “and like I said, I can eat anything, whatever you want.”

Nodding, Steve said, “I’ll order pizza. You want meat or just veggies or what?” He glanced around then led TJ into the building and up to the third floor. He unlocked his apartment door and turned to TJ. “The door’ll be unlocked when you come back with Luna? The pizza should be here soon?” He stood, waiting in his doorway.

“Okay, I'll go set down my stuff and grab Luna,” TJ stated.

“Don’t forget the contract. We can go over it?” Steve offered with a smile, looking hopeful. He really didn’t want to interview any other potential roommates; TJ seemed genuinely compatible with him. He could fight the unusual sexual attraction to the man.

“Right,” TJ nodded and hurried down to Bucky and Nat’s apartment.

Bucky sat on a stool at the island, hand immersed in a gooey pink substance that steamed slightly. An aromatic blend of herbs and spices wafted over. Sascha stood on his lap, kneading. Glancing over, Bucky nodded. “Hey, TJ, where’s Steve? Didn’t find him?” He let his eyes rove over his brother’s form, telling himself he was just making sure his twin was unhurt.

“He's at his apartment, I'm just grabbing the contract and Luna . . . sorry we took a bit longer . . . had a run-in with Rumlow again,” TJ explained, rolling his eyes.

Frowning fiercely, Bucky glanced over TJ once more. “You okay?”

“I’m fine . . . Steve stepped in before it could get bad,” TJ explained.

Bucky sighed and nodded. “Gonna eat up there? I warn you, he’s not a cook.”

“He's ordering pizza, so I think I'll be safe,” TJ laughed.

“Did you tell him what you don’t like? Steve’s an _everything edible_ kinda guy, TJ,” Bucky chuckled finally. He looked back at his hand, which seemed to have stopped spasming. “My wife is a miracle worker,” he sighed in relief but kept the injured limb in the goo.

“I'm not picky, I'll eat anything,” TJ laughed and ducked into his room to drop off his bag and grab the contract that sat on top of the dresser. Luckily, Luna was walking down the hall just as he was leaving the room. Scooping up the kitten, TJ walked back into the main living area.

Bucky glanced up, pulling his hand from the pink goo slowly. He began patting it dry on a clean cloth. “Got the kitten?” Grinning, he nodded, “good. Hope she doesn't freak when you take her over there. She’s never left the apartment or met a dog before.” He walked over to TJ and pulled him into a brief hug, flushing as his body began to respond yet again.

“Well, wish me luck?” TJ smiled nervously; Luna was curled up against his chest and had started purring contently.

Bucky tilted his head. “TJ? Are you . . . interested in Steve?” He looked worried.

“What?” TJ’s eyes widened, “no! He's a co worker and your best friend . . . Plus, he's straight . . . so . . .” TJ didn’t mention that he felt more interested in _Bucky_ , his body thrumming from his twin’s quick hug.

“Doesn’t make him less attractive or nice,” Bucky pointed out practically. “And . . .” he paused then shrugged. “Never mind.” Bucky slid his hand back into the steaming goo. “Have fun.”

TJ frowned; he opened his mouth to ask what Bucky had been about to say but decided not to press the issue. “Thanks,” TJ murmured and slipped out the front door, shutting it softly behind him.

As promised, the door to Steve’s apartment had been left unlocked. He hung up the phone just as TJ showed up, turning and offering the other man a smile. “Welcome back, TJ . . . Luna.” Steve walked over to raise a finger and stroke the kitten carefully, standing close to TJ.

Luna squeaked out a meow and pressed her head against Steve's finger, purring louder. TJ looked up at Steve and tried not to think about how pretty the blond's eyes were this close. Bucky’s reaction to TJ maybe being interested in Steve had concerned TJ . . . he didn't want to cause any problems. Even if Steve was straight, the sexy blond could still provide a distraction . . . maybe living away from Bucky would lessen TJ’s want of him.

“Well, come meet Phil, Luna. I hope you like him.” Steve smiled softly and glanced at TJ, meeting his light colored eyes. Blinking slowly, Steve pulled back and chuckled almost nervously. He turned and walked into the kitchen. “Ready for some freedom, Phil?”

TJ set the papers down on the counter and crouched down to set the kitten on the floor; he stayed low to the ground in case he had to grab Luna quickly.

Steve opened the gate and stroked the puppy before letting him waddle from the enclosure.

The puppy saw the kitten instantly and froze, one paw raised in the middle of walking. He let out a curious whimper and set his foot down then sidled carefully over to the smaller ball of fluff, as if she were the bigger, badder beastie. With another questioning whimper, Phil nosed her, nearly bowling her over. Luna stumbled to the side but caught herself before she could fall. The kitten meowed and sniffed at Phil, her paw raised, and gently batted at the puppy's nose, not intending to hurt but to play. Phil caught on quickly and yipped happily. He crouched, his front end pressing to the floor, tail end up and wagging enthusiastically. He watched, poised and ready to play. Luna pounced forward and batted at the air in front of the puppy. With a yip, the puppy suddenly rolled over on his back and pawed the air, letting the kitten win their fake tussle.

Standing up, TJ laughed and said, “well, I don't think they will be an issue.”

Steve grinned. “I think they’re friends already,” he chuckled.

TJ looked over at Steve, still smiling, “I think so, too.” He slid over to where Steve stood, their shoulders almost touching, to watch the two pets play together.

Watching the young animals, Steve didn’t pull away from TJ’s warmth, letting their closeness stand. He enjoyed the sensation of the other man so close. It’d been awhile since he’d been close to anyone, not that he planned to use TJ as a rebound or anything. He’d had six months to come to terms with Peggy’s change of heart. He hoped TJ might be friends, at least, like Bucky . . . though it’d be nice to get closer. Steve didn’t want to push . . . they’d only just met. A knock on the door brought Steve out of his little mental argument and he turned, grinning. “Pizza! I got cheese and pepperoni.” He headed to the door.

“Sounds great, I'm wilting away to nothing over here,” TJ teased, staying back to allow Steve to get the door while he watched to puppy and kitten.

Answering the door, paying for the pie, Steve locked the door after the delivery man left. He turned back to the kitchen island and set the box down. Washing his hands quickly, Steve reached above the sink to pull out some plates and cups then grabbed silverware from a drawer. He tossed the silverware on the stack of plates with some napkins and put the pile next to the box. Turning back to the fridge, he pulled out some orange soda and held it up. “Got this or lemon-lime?”

Humming, TJ took a moment to answer, “lemon-lime, please.” Walking over to the small kitchen, he let his eyes trail down the back of Steve's muscled form, enjoying the view.

“Got it,” Steve answered and turned back to grab the choice of soda. He brought both over to the island and filled the glasses, setting the bottles on the granite. “Dinner . . .”

“Thank you,” TJ grinned, approaching the counter where Steve had set everything up. “Want me to pay for half the pizza?”

“Nah, catch it next time, ‘kay?” Steve grinned and slipped onto one of the stools, grabbing a couple of slices and sliding them onto one of the plates but ignoring the silverware in favor of eating with his hands.

TJ grabbed one slice and began eating it in small bites. He liked the idea of a _next time_ ; he may not be able to pursue a relationship with Steve, but that didn't stop him from achieving a friendship at the very least.

The sound of a happy yet muffled yip came to them and Steve glanced down at the puppy then started laughing, throwing his head back, one arm coming up and over his chest. Phil had managed to pick Luna up by the scruff, like a momma cat, and was carrying her around happily.

Seeing the two pets, TJ laughed and shook his head, “Phil is treating Luna like a queen . . . she is going to get spoiled rotten.”

“Yeah, he’s a little suck up, I’m thinking,” Steve chortled, taking a large bite and chewing thoroughly. He smiled over at TJ, swallowing, then asked, “so, what do you do for fun?”

“Well . . . I really like playing the piano but I don't have a personal one anymore so,” TJ shrugged and took another tiny bite, he swallowed before continuing, “I like reading, too. How about you?”

“I like to read, I guess.” Steve glanced at the dog and cat. “I work out, but that’s more for health than fun.” He glanced back at TJ. “I like movies, too. Guess I’m kinda lame,” he chuckled. “Nothing as thrilling and exotic as music or dancing.”

“Nah, not lame,” TJ shook his head, “trust me, sometimes what people consider _lame_ is what keeps other people out of trouble.”

Steve turned on his stool so he faced TJ directly. “What kind of books you like to read?”

TJ shrugged, “I like all different kinds, ya know? Depends on what mood I'm in. Sometimes it's books on music theory other times it's trashy romance novels,” the brunet took another bite, he chewed and then swallowed it, “but lately I've been trying to stay away from the romance ones.” TJ snapped his mouth closed with an audible click. Steve didn't need to know about TJ's love life, or lack thereof, post Sean Reeves. The Senator had left a hole in TJ’s heart, one he feared might never be filled. Sean was a big reason why he had wanted to move to New York; TJ didn't want to risk running into him again.

Steve nodded. “I tend to read whatever comes to hand, but a lot of non-fiction. I find history fascinating and always want to learn more.” Steve took a third slice, indicating the large pie. “You’re not a big eater or I got the wrong kind.”

TJ flushed and looked down at his mostly eaten slice, just a bit of the crust remained, “I . . . uh - - I guess I just don't eat a ton? You didn't get the wrong kind, really, I will eat pretty much anything . . . I'm sorry . . .”

“But I’ve got a huge appetite and you only wanted one slice?” Steve seemed more amused than offended. “If you want, I got some salad stuff in the fridge? Or TV dinners in the freezer? Or cereal?” he inadvertently listed everything Bucky said Steve was capable of cooking.

Laughing softly, TJ shook his head and ate the last piece of his slice, “no . . . this was great, really. Thanks for getting it.” TJ had always thanked people a lot, varying from the _'spoiled’_ adult many people believed he was just because of his last name.

Steve pushed the box with half a pie left in it. “A second slice, maybe?” he asked a bit hopefully.

TJ didn't want to offend the blond, so he smiled and took another, smaller, piece and bit into it despite the fact that he wasn't hungry any more.

Giving an approving nod to the man, Steve got up. “I’ll just put the rest away for later?” he asked, moving over to the fridge. “Have you got a chance to consider the contract at all?”

“Yeah, I skimmed through it,” TJ nodded and put the half-eaten slice back on his plate. “Everything looked good to me. I don't really have anything that needed to be added.”

“Great,” Steve came back and refilled TJ’s glass with the lemon-lime soda before refilling his own orange. He put both two liter bottles away and headed back to the island, sinking onto his stool. “Not sure if you want a lawyer to look it over,” Steve shrugged. He really preferred to keep things a bit less formal, but Bucky did always warn him he was too old fashioned, too trusting.

“I don't think that will be necessary . . . I've been around legal documents and shit my whole life and I can handle a simple rental agreement on my own,” TJ laughed and took a sip of his drink.

Laughing, Steve nodded and offered some napkins to TJ. “Well, if you want to sign it, you can move in whenever you want.” Pausing, Steve tilted his head. “Any questions? Shoulda asked.” He flushed a bit.

TJ wiped his hands on the napkin and then grabbed the documents from the counter, “have a pen?” He knew he just needed to move out of his brother’s apartment, even though that was the opposite of what he _wanted_ to do.

“Yup,” Steve plucked one from beside the landline and handed it over, smiling softly, blue eyes gentle and intense.

Taking the pen, TJ skimmed the document once more and then bent over to sign the document; pen hovering over the page, he looked up at Steve. Chewing his bottom lip, looking a bit nervous, he asked, “would you mind if I moved in, in about a week?” TJ wanted more time with Bucky . . . even if he should move in as soon as possible, he couldn’t force himself to leave Bucky’s right away.

“As long as you need, TJ,” Steve responded and reached over for the pen, his large, warm hand enclosing TJ’s more slender one. Blinking, not removing his hand, Steve looked down then at TJ. “Guess you don’t need help?” he asked softly, breathlessly.

TJ met Steve's eyes; the blond had leaned forward enough that TJ could feel his breath on his skin. Steve's hand enveloped his almost perfectly and the brunet couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine and the warm, tingling feeling that settled in his gut. TJ made no moves to retract his hand from Steve's; his body thrived on physical contact. He wanted to close the gap between them and press his lips to Steve's . . . almost as if in a trance, TJ did lean closer, until his lips hovered only a breath away from the blond's. If the blond really was as interested in TJ as he looked, maybe TJ had read the situation wrong . . . maybe a relationship with Steve was possible.

Only a breath away . . . Steve merely had to lean in a little more and claim TJ’s sweetly offered lips. The temptation great, Steve forced down his wants, his needs. Pulling back, Steve offered a small smile to TJ, pulling his hand off the other man’s. He refused to push himself at the beautiful musician or take advantage of his need for an apartment, a safe haven, even if TJ seemed to want it; Steve refused to push himself on anyone who would, in all probability, misunderstand Steve’s secrets. Intent on providing that safety, that friendship, Steve backed off, standing from his stool. He also needed to protect himself, no matter how sweet TJ seemed . . . “I’ll pull the ad anyway and if you decide against it, I can just resubmit in a week,” Steve said, breathless.

As if a bucket of cold water had been splashed over him, TJ pulled back, flushing bright red. “Right. I’ll . . . uh - - see you at school?” TJ felt like such an idiot; he knew that Steve was straight . . . why had he thought the blond would want to kiss him? “I’ll - - just go?” TJ mumbled, having a hard time meeting Steve’s vibrant blue eyes.

“Not a problem,” Steve assured him and offered another smile, hoping TJ wasn’t as uncomfortable as he seemed: Steve didn’t like the idea that his own pushy behavior would make TJ feel trapped or anything. The tall blond bent down and scooped up puppy and kitten, working the smaller ball of fluff tenderly from the larger puppy’s mouth. “Now stop mommying her, Phil!” He handed the damp grey kitten to her owner. “You’re welcome anytime, TJ.”

Nodding, for once not returning the smile, TJ took the kitten, mumbling a quick, “thanks,” before he slipped out of the apartment and hurried down to his brother’s. The brunet walked into the apartment and released a shaky sigh, running the fingers of his free hand through his hair. He bent down and set Luna on the floor.

Bucky, dressed only in a pair of jeans and a light undershirt, lay stretched across his couch, his left hand totally relaxed for the moment due to the medicated goo his wife had provided. He glanced up from the television and frowned slowly. “TJ? What happened?” Bucky slid to a fully upright sitting position, shirt pulling taut over his chest.

“Nothing,” TJ said quickly, meeting his brother’s eyes. Natasha sat next to her husband and she watched TJ closely with a worried frown. “Steve and I came to an agreement . . . I’m moving into his extra room in a week . . .” TJ added, trying desperately not to look at Bucky and the muscles so clearly defined under the material of the thin shirt.

“An agreement that has you looking like you’d rather lock yourself in the spare room then go anywhere near your almost new apartment?” Bucky asked, slipping his legs from under Nat. He stood, watching his twin in worry, feeling a desperate urge to sooth, to hold his brother . . . to smother him in kisses. Bucky pushed down the urge.

“I’m fine . . . I’m okay,” TJ tried to reassure his brother by flashing the man a smile but the expression came out forced and didn’t meet his eyes.

“Did you fight with Steve?” Bucky prodded, stepping up next to TJ. “He’s a great guy but can be a bit dense . . .”

“No, we didn’t fight,” TJ chewed the inside of his cheek, his pale eyes watching his twin, “I was an idiot, okay? Nothing new there,” TJ grumbled.

Shaking his head, unclear just what TJ meant, Bucky sighed. “Idiot?” He followed his brother to the spare room, watching as the other man began rearranging his small amount of possessions. “You got Steve upset about something? He’ll forgive you. He’s pretty easy.”

TJ snorted and anxiously moved one of the few pictures he owned, a photograph of him and Doug, that sat on the dresser. The smaller man shook his head. He honestly felt like crying . . . for the first time in several months he felt the familiar itch to get high. He needed _something_ to distract himself from the swarm of painful emotions inside him, the desperation he felt for his brother’s touch.

“Talk to me, TJ?” Bucky asked softly from the doorway.

“Why? So you can just tell me I’m an idiot? That I should’ve known better?” TJ snapped; he knew it was unfair to take out his aggression on his twin but he just felt so angry at himself.

Tilting his head, Bucky shook his head. He moved in and wrapped both arms, left shaking just a bit, around his twin. “Don’t remember ever saying things like that to you before. Don't feel like starting now, TJ. What happened? Why do you think you upset Steve? What’d he say?”

TJ sighed, letting his head fall onto Bucky’s shoulder; the man looked completely dejected.

Bucky slipped to the bed, guiding his twin to sit with him, cuddled together. He bumped shoulders gently with TJ. “C’mon, TJ. I’ve known Steve since I was ten. I can probably help you understand him.”

“I almost kissed him . . .” TJ muttered, not looking at Bucky, afraid of what his brother would say.

“Almost?” Bucky asked, mildly surprised. “But?” he prodded softly, gently, viciously tamping down the surge of jealousy he felt at Steve and TJ intimate.

TJ shrugged, “he pulled away. He leaned in first . . . I thought - -” he shook his head and sighed, “I know it was stupid . . . he’s a co worker and now my roommate . . . plus, he’s _straight_. But, I thought for a moment . . . he may have wanted me?”

Bucky softly let his breath out and shook his head, absently dropping a kiss on TJ’s temple. Gently, he asked, “and who said _Steve’s_ straight?”

Looking over at Bucky with confusion on his features, TJ said, “he’s not? He told me he had a girlfriend . . . I guess I just assumed.” TJ sighed again and leaned into Bucky’s embrace, actually nuzzling against his twin’s neck, breathing in the scent of his brother.

Lifting his face, smiling at TJ, Bucky shook his head. “Nope. He’s very private but not _straight_.” Having TJ in his arms felt _right_. He kissed TJ’s head again, cuddling.

Sighing, TJ nodded; he didn’t know if that information helped him feel any better or if it made him actually feel _worse_. If Steve was bi . . . and still didn’t want to kiss TJ, then he obviously wasn’t interested at all.

“Steve didn’t say anything, right? About you wanting to kiss?” Bucky continued, smiling, but tone gentle once more, almost a caress.

“No . . . acted like it didn’t happen,” TJ answered, he looked up at Bucky, his lips only a breath away because of their positions.

“Makes sense, the big idiot’s always been a gentleman.” Bucky met his twin’s gaze. Gently, Bucky brushed his lips over TJ’s; it felt right. He breathed, “he just signed you on as a roommate. Most likely he doesn’t want you to think he’s looking for an easy lay or something. Steve’s being a gentleman. He’s old fashioned like that, actually.” Smiling down at his brother, relief in his eyes, Bucky added, “probably comes from being raised by a single mother in a religious household. Steve’s a slow mover. If he didn’t tell you _‘no’_ outright, he’s probably just waiting. My best friend’s an idiot sometimes.”

“Oh,” TJ still looked confused, “okay . . .” TJ looked up at his twin again, he stilled for a moment before pressing his lips against Bucky’s, all the touches, the gazes coming into focus and driving away the reasons _not_ to kiss Bucky.

“Look, TJ,” Bucky caressed his right hand down TJ’s spine to his waistband, gently kissing his twin again, pushing away thoughts that this might be wrong; it felt too right to be wrong. “I don’t pretend to know if you and Steve are compatible that way. I know Steve likes women _and_ men, but he’s always been very private. No one at school knew he was dating Peggy for almost a year. He might take a long time to make any kind of move . . .”

TJ nodded, keening softly as Bucky’s fingers ran down his spine and caught on the waistband of his trousers, “I guess privacy is something I’m not used to . . . growing up a _Hammond_ , I never had any privacy.” TJ kissed again, a little deeper this time, a little more desperate.

“If Steve comes out and says _‘No,’_ I’d back off, but if he doesn’t tell you off, he’s fair game. Steve tells people when he’s _not _interested. It’s the best I can give you, TJ. That, and I think you’d be good for him. He’s entirely too closed up at times. I think he’s afraid to have fun.” Bucky offered his brother an encouraging smile and turned more fully towards him, leaning a bit closer and starting to lower TJ to the bed, kissing his neck.. “If you want him, TJ, I say talk to him out right. He responds best to open discussion. Comes from being a history professor, I think. Or maybe from nearly dying half a dozen times growing up.” Bucky didn’t know why he continued to talk about TJ hooking up with Steve while he was seducing his twin. There was no denying it, Bucky wanted TJ and he didn’t sense any resistance in his pretty brother. “But you don’t have to leave, either, brother mine.” Bucky pushed his hands up under TJ’s shirt, caressing his flanks as he dropped more kisses on TJ’s neck.__

__Moaning softly, TJ’s back arched off the bed and into Bucky’s hands; he extended his neck, opening it up for more kisses. “Buck . . .” TJ breathed, tone heavy with desire and need._ _

__The soulful meow of Sascha broke the spell and Bucky blinked, flushing brightly, and pulled back. “Ah . . . sorry, Teej. I . . . uh . . .” He sat up and looked regretful and longing. The cat jumped onto the bed._ _

__Sitting up with Bucky, TJ shook his head and lifted one hand to thumb over one of his twin’s cheekbones, “I’m not . . .” TJ admitted softly, letting his hand fall and leaving the next move to his brother._ _

__“God, TJ, I’m sorry. I . . .” Bucky stood and paced away a short distance, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why I . . . damn!”_ _

__Sighing, TJ nodded, “maybe . . . maybe I should move into Steve’s room sooner? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Buck. I’m sorry.” TJ slid off the bed and packed up his few belongings, throwing them back into his duffle._ _

__Bucky suddenly pulled his twin into a bear hug. “I’m glad you came, TJ. I’ll work this out, okay? Don’t let my oddities keep you away?” He grinned weakly and backed up._ _

__Shaking his head again, TJ put the last of his things into his bag and zipped it shut. “Couldn’t keep me away if you tried, baby brother.”_ _

__Relief crossed Bucky’s face and he offered a firmer smile. Leading his twin from the bedroom, Bucky told Natasha, “TJ’s going to give Steve’s a try.”_ _

__Watching the two men, as if trying to figure something out, Natasha nodded, “okay, well, good luck, TJ.” She gave the lean brunet a smile._ _

__Bucky offered the grey kitten to TJ once more. “Here, big brother . . . don’t forget Luna.”_ _

__“Thanks,” TJ mumbled, taking the kitten from Bucky before saying his final goodbyes to both Bucky and Natasha and leaving the apartment and heading back to Steve’s. The door was still unlocked, so he walked in without knocking and let the door shut softly behind him._ _

__Steve sat on the floor in his trousers and undershirt, his shirt pulled off and tossed aside, apparently wet. The golden puppy curled on Steve’s crossed legs, eyes lifted in an adoring gaze at the human. Steve’s plush lips spread in a delighted smile, despite the attack on his clothes. He continually stroked his little pup, the muscles of his arms rippled and pulsed under the tight undershirt._ _

__Appreciating the sight of Steve in such a tight shirt, TJ watched Steve for a few moments before clearing his throat and saying, “I’m back . . . sorry, had to talk to Bucky about something.”_ _

__Glancing up, still smiling, Steve nodded. “You’re allowed to talk to anyone you want, for any length of time, TJ. I’m your roommate, not your jailer.” He readily accepted TJ’s change of mind without protest, also not pushing for the contract to be signed immediately. He figured TJ wanted a week before committing but Bucky had convinced him to try the living arrangements out. Steve’s tone sounded light, teasing, and the large man got to his feet gracefully, still cuddling the puppy. “I’ll get you a key tomorrow, okay?”_ _

__“Okay,” TJ nodded and then walked to his room to set down his bag; he took a deep breath as he put the bag on the bed and then set the kitten down as well. TJ needed to stop thinking about his brother, stop thinking about the kiss . . . how Bucky’s fingers felt on his skin._ _

__“Did you bring kitty supplies for Luna?” Steve asked, still in the living room._ _

__“No,” TJ answered, walking back out, “I was going to go out and buy some . . . I was just waiting until I knew for sure I’d be living here . . .”_ _

__Nodding, Steve stooped to put his baby animal on the floor then straightened with a smile, grabbing his wet shirt at the same time. It had orange stains on it. “Let me get a shirt and I can show you the best local place for pet stuff, okay?”_ _

__“You don’t hafta come with me,” TJ said, “if you want to stay home and relax I get it.”_ _

__Nodding, Steve answered, “if I wanted to stay home, I’d take you up on that, but I’m fine. It’s a great night and I feel like showing you around, if you want. Of course, if you’re sick of my company, I can just tell you how to get there?” He looked at TJ with his vivid blue eyes, hoping he hadn’t turned TJ totally away with his almost stolen kiss earlier._ _

__“Not sure I’d ever get sick of your company,” TJ said with a smile._ _

__Flushing, but smiling in pleasure, Steve ducked his head. “Let me get a shirt?” he headed into his room and rummaged in his dresser, pulling out a T-shirt without really looking at it. Sliding on the tight blue t-shirt, Steve stepped from his room and nodded. “Ready . . .”_ _

__TJ wondered if Steve owned any shirts that actually fit him . . . because the blue shirt seemed even tighter than the last one. The blond’s chest rippled with each movement and TJ swallowed thickly before snapping his eyes back up to meet Steve’s._ _

__Looking down at himself, Steve looked at TJ and flushed lightly. “Something . . . wrong?” He hoped not, but he couldn’t be sure. Ever since meeting the beautiful TJ, Steve had caught the other man staring at odd times._ _

__Humming softly, TJ smirked, his pale eyes sparkling, “not at all. Just enjoying the view,” with that, TJ turned and headed towards the front door of the apartment. If he couldn’t have Bucky . . . he could at least enjoy the very nice sight of his good-looking roommate._ _

__Steve flushed bright red, not stupid enough to miss TJ’s implication. Smiling, despite his embarrassment, Steve opened the hall door and gestured. “After you?” He, too, could enjoy the view of his new roommate, and TJ’s ass was a work of art in Steve’s opinion . . . which was well-informed on all things artistic._ _

__Slipping past Steve and into the hall, TJ waited for the blond to lock up before continuing down the hall, a few steps in front of Steve._ _

__Not too much later, Steve led TJ into a local grocery run by a couple of Korean descent. “This is the best place for local groceries as long as you want to buy in bulk, TJ. They’ve got fresh food and great prices.” He offered a smile to the woman behind the counter who greeted the pair of men with a nod and smile. Steve gestured towards large barrels of kibble to be scooped into bags, as well as litter in another bin. “They don’t deal in pre-bagged stuff. I think they even make the pet food themselves but never really asked.”_ _

__After getting some litter and kibble, TJ looked over to Steve._ _

__Steve grabbed a small stand-up cart and lowered TJ’s stuff into its depths. “Treats? Personal food choices? I don’t have much in the apartment right now . . .”_ _

__TJ shrugged, “I like anything, really,” he’d never been a picky eater, and he’d been raised not to complain about the food given to him. Honestly, TJ had been raised not to make decisions for himself, something he struggled with everyday. Mom and Dad had made a lot of his decisions for him . . . including coming out at the age of fifteen._ _

__Nodding, Steve looked around. “Okay, so, wanna help me shop then? Maybe you don’t care what’s on hand, but we will need _something_ on hand, unless you like take out every night.”_ _

__Again, TJ shrugged, he looked at Steve and smiled, “just get what you normally get.”_ _

__Laughing, throwing his head back, Steve shook his head. “I’d call you a cheap date if it didn’t sound offensive.” He grinned and headed for the salad area. “I usually keep some veggies on hand, but like my meat so fresh I tend to order out for it.”_ _

__The woman behind the counter smiled wider, eyeing both men but keeping her opinions to herself._ _

__TJ walked a step or two behind Steve, not adding anything for himself to the cart. He kept glancing over at the muscled form of his roommate . . . he hoped if he continued to drop obvious hints that Steve would feel more comfortable with expanding their relationship; he needed something to distract himself._ _

__Offering a smile to TJ as he slipped some fresh salad greens into the cart, Steve turned back towards the containers in the long cooler. “Ice cream? I _know_ they make their own. They’ve got some good flavors.” Steve enjoyed TJ’s repeated gazes, feeling desirable, attractive, nothing sexual, but Steve never equated comfort and love with sex as it was. Steve knew he was a good looking man, but still, he enjoyed being physically appreciated like many others did. TJ seemed to not mind openly checking him over. Somehow, Steve wished he was as brave, as open as TJ . . . but he was so used to hiding his personal opinions, his wants, his interests - - first because his mother, as loving as she had been, had never been understanding of his sexual nature, and second, because of his stint in the military, where it wasn’t illegal to be outside the perceived norm, but it still made him an easy target for bigots and the pain they inflicted . . . and the feeling of being used and dirty . . .he ruthlessly pushed away that long-remembered shame. Now Steve didn’t want to risk his job. He’d seen two other men kicked out for their sexual preferences, and he loved his job; he didn’t want to lose it. He should warn TJ that the Admin might not be so supportive of his open freedom of expression; he’d had his own fair share of _friendly warnings_ in the past._ _

__Stepping beside Steve to look at the different flavors of ice cream, TJ let his hand ghost over Steve’s back as he stepped up before letting it drop to his side._ _

__Murmuring in appreciation of the touch, Steve blinked and offered TJ a smile, not stopping the touch and mildly disappointed when TJ did. “Chocolate? Strawberry? Mango?” he asked. “What would you like . . . Honey?”_ _

__Pale eyes flickering up to look at Steve, TJ grinned widely, “gotta take me on a date first, Rogers, before you can use pet names.”_ _

__Confusion lit Steve’s vibrant eyes and he tilted his head. “Huh?”_ _

__Snorting a laugh, TJ looked back at the flavors, “a joke. Obviously a bad one.”_ _

__“Oh . . .” Steve blushed furiously. He’d thought TJ had been kind of hinting at wanting a date. Of course he’d misunderstood. Peggy had reassured him, as had Bucky, that Steve was a bit dumb about social conventions sometimes with strangers. “Okay . . . um . . . no ice cream?” he ventured._ _

__“ _Unless_ you wanna take me on a date?” TJ didn’t look at Steve as he asked the question; he sucked in his bottom lip nervously._ _

__Wanting to jump on the offer, Steve held himself back, glancing towards the store owner then back at TJ. He doubted TJ would appreciate Steve flaunting TJ’s sexuality so blatantly, inviting an attack. “So, I, uh, can call you pet names and share ice cream if I take you out on a date?”_ _

__“Among other things,” TJ mused, looking up at Steve. He could feel that the flirting and hints were working . . . Steve seemed like a really nice man, a guy he could easily get to know and care for. Maybe, Steve would be able to help TJ through his feelings for Bucky . . . make them go away._ _

__At the sudden decadent image of TJ spread wantonly below him on his large bed, Steve flushed and dropped his eyes, unable to meet TJ’s while such dirty thoughts roamed his mind. As quickly as the flash had come, it left. “Dinner was a bust tonight . . . of course that wasn’t . . .” he fell silent as TJ came closer._ _

__TJ whispered in Steve’s ear, “you want that? Call me sweet little pet names while I lie beneath you? Begging you for more? Begging you to _touch_ me?”_ _

__On a soft groan, Steve squirmed, his pants suddenly painfully tight. His eyes flickered to meet TJ’s and Steve’s tongue tip shot out to wet his flushed lips. “Uh . . .” Steve’s voice came out breathless as he fought the damn raunchy images. “Yes?” he whispered, innately honest. This was such a rarity, Steve wasn’t quite sure how he should respond. Usually, he was sexually unresponsive without genuine effort or medication, though his preferences did run to anyone and everyone, aesthetics-wise. No one really turned him on or off. But . . . apparently TJ was one of those rare people who _could_ entice him._ _

__Grinning wickedly, TJ stepped even closer and let his fingers trail down the fabric of Steve’s tight t-shirt, stopping at the waistband of the blond’s jeans before letting his hand fall back to his side._ _

__Swallowing, his throat dry, Steve swayed towards TJ much as he had twice before. Groaning, he turned his head and stepped back, whispering, “sorry. We should pay . . .” Steve hurried to turn the cart towards the store owner at the counter, ducking his head and flushing under her knowing smirk._ _

__TJ stepped up to the counter, and before Steve could pay, he offered his card to pay for the groceries. Unlike Steve, TJ didn’t look embarrassed; he met the woman’s smirk with one of his own._ _

__She rang up the order and charged TJ’s card. Handing it back and pushing over the receipt for signing, she said, “must want to get him home, huh?”_ _

__“You have no idea,” TJ winked at the woman and then signed the receipt._ _

__Steve continued to flush bright red, ducking his head. He didn’t protest TJ’s comments, or the woman’s, instead fiddling with the hem of his T-shirt, praying no one else came in, overheard. Finally, the woman handed the duplicate receipt over and packaged the groceries into two large bags. Steve grabbed the bags._ _

__TJ pocketed his card and receipt, looking up at Steve he asked, “you sure you don’t need me to grab one?”_ _

__Shaking his head, voiceless, Steve turned and hurried from the store. He waited for TJ to catch up before making his way towards their apartment building. It wasn’t quite comfortable to walk, his member still willingly swollen at the naughty images that insisted on running through Steve’s mind over and over. TJ had been flirting, teasing, but Steve wasn’t about to jump on the poor guy. He’d control himself. For safety and decorum if nothing else._ _

__Once they made it back to the apartment, TJ helped Steve put away the groceries and set up a small area for Luna. After all that was done, TJ turned back to look at the blond._ _

__Steve nodded in satisfaction at Luna’s new set up. Offering TJ a smile, he said, “must be wanting to settle in. I’ll let you get to that.” He sidled towards his room, trying to keep his eyes off TJ’s delectable body. Yeah, he looked a lot like Bucky, but something about the more slender body, the wider eyes, the lost, wondering, searching expression in that stormy blue gaze . . . Steve could drown in those eyes._ _

__TJ’s hand shot out and grabbed Steve’s wrist, his long fingers wrapping around the limb. “I wasn’t teasing you at the store . . . just so you know. I want what I said.”_ _

__A groan escaped Steve’s lips and he whispered, “you barely know me, TJ. I . . . I don’t want you to feel pushed . . . or . . . this is a safe haven for you. You don’t need to . . .”_ _

__TJ shook his head and dropped to his knees, his hands running up and down Steve’s thighs. He looked up at the blond, “this okay?” For a moment he forgot about his twin, forgot how _good_ Bucky’s touch felt . . . however, as quickly as they left . . . the thoughts returned._ _

__Steve looked down, eyes locking on TJ’s, and he groaned, fingers reaching to tangle in TJ’s short curls. “We should . . . don’t wanna make you . . .” Steve’s mind whirled and his body pulsed, aching from the long abstinence, pushing away his fear as TJ knelt before him with those so delectable flushed lips and wide, innocent looking eyes._ _

__TJ cut off what Steve was about to say by expertly unbuttoning the blond’s jeans and pulling the zipper down. He proceeded to then pull down Steve’s jeans, along with his underwear, just enough to free the blond’s member. Even more desperate now to forget about Bucky . . . he should not be thinking about his twin when about to give another man a blow job. TJ’s eyes widened slightly at the size of the other man; no doubt, Steve was the biggest man he’d ever seen._ _

__“TJ . . .” Steve breathed out, his voice holding a mix of desire and warning. “Been a long time, pet . . . don’t have much control here . . .” he groaned. He rarely did on those occasions he wanted sex._ _

__Humming softly, TJ took the tip of Steve’s erection into his mouth and lapped at the slit, already salty with precum. Sucking gently, TJ looked up at Steve to make sure he was still okay with what was happening._ _

__Staring down at TJ, blue eyes blown dark in lust, Steve kept his fingers tangled in the soft brown locks, working his digits over and over in the tresses. His member pulsed in TJ’s mouth and a groan broke free, the intense feelings threatening to buckle Steve’s knees. He let go TJ’s hair to cup his face and Steve dropped to his knees, his member pulling from TJ’s lips and hands. He sealed his mouth over TJ’s with a low groan of need, feeling as much, if not more, pleasure from the simple act of kissing._ _

__TJ pressed into the kiss, tilting his head to deepen it; he ran his tongue across the seam of Steve’s lips and his arms moved to wrap around the blond’s neck._ _

__Dropping his hands from TJ’s face to encircle his narrow waist, Steve pulled TJ flush, his large throbbing member trapped between them. Groaning again, Steve tilted his head and continued the kiss, his tongue exploring TJ’s mouth, tasting and enjoying the other man. On the end of another groan, Steve said, “God, TJ, so perfect . . .” Any worries he had dissipated into the air in response to TJ’s loving mouth and eager attentions._ _

__Keening into the kiss, TJ nipped at Steve’s bottom lip, tugging with his teeth before pushing their lips back together._ _

__Whimpering in need, Steve’s hips seemed to stutter after TJ’s lips, despite no longer being in the other man’s mouth. He broke their kiss to touch foreheads, eyes closed, drawing in deep needy gulps of air. “Head spinning . . . TJ . . . gotta be good for you . . . make sure you want this, pet . . .”_ _

__“I do . . . please, Steve . . . please, I want this . . . I wanna feel every inch of you,” TJ breathed out, a needy keen breaking past the brunet’s lips._ _

__Blinking his eyes open, surprise warring with the lust, Steve breathed out softly, “you . . . you want me _in you_?” He’d been in women, but had always been on the receiving end with the few men he’d experimented with . . . he immediately shut out the dirty memory of that _other_ time._ _

__“God yes,” TJ moaned, grinding his hips down against Steve’s, “please? I want you, Steve . . . just need you . . .”_ _

__“I . . . uh . . .” Steve was afraid he’d hurt TJ with his girth. Holding no illusions to his own size, Steve knew it was the main reason his past male lovers had always demanded topping; none of them dared take Steve inside. Steve couldn’t exactly blame them, especially as they seemed to get impatient with the fact that he needed medicine to get hard most of the time anyway; what was happening with TJ was rare, and didn’t mean it would happen again easily. “Never . . . never topped a guy, TJ,” he breathed, sounding worried. “Don’t wanna hurt you, baby.”_ _

__“You won’t as long as you stretch me enough,” TJ answered on a lustful whine; he pressed his lips to Steve’s again, sucking in the blond’s plush bottom lip._ _

__Accepting TJ’s desire, Steve returned the kisses. He pulled back slightly. “Wanna go to bed, TJ?” he remained kneeling with TJ in the living room, his own member proudly jutting out of his open jeans while TJ remained fully dressed._ _

__“Yeah,” TJ nodded, rising to his feet, he tugged Steve up with him. This would help him forget about Bucky . . . Bucky had Natasha to help _him_ forget . . . TJ hoped Steve would help him forget._ _

__The larger man let the smaller take total control, following his guiding tugs. Smiling, looking almost overwhelmed, Steve took TJ’s hand and turned towards his bedroom, throwing open the door to reveal that large bed. He turned back to TJ and paused, waiting to be guided, relishing the idea that he would hold TJ throughout the night, even beyond the promised sex they were about to engage in. Steve was a cuddler._ _

__TJ tugged at Steve’s shirt, pulling the tight fabric over his head and tossing it away blindly. The brunet leaned forward to suck at Steve’s collarbone where it wasn’t covered by the undershirt._ _

__Groaning, Steve reached over and unbuttoned TJ’s shirt with sure, clever fingers. He swiftly slid the material from TJ’s shoulders, letting it drop to the ground. Reaching between them, Steve slid two fingers into TJ’s waistband and tugged the man close, flush once more, sealing his mouth over TJ’s lips with a needy whine._ _

__Going willingly, enjoying the strength and power that Steve displayed, TJ mewled against his roommate’s lips. “Please . . . Stevie . . .” TJ moaned._ _

__A loud pounding at the front door of the apartment brought a sharp snap of Steve’s head in the direction of the intruding sound. He growled in frustration. “Who the hell wants us right now?” he whimpered, voice rasping as it wavered between dominant growl and needy whine._ _

__TJ whimpered and nipped at Steve’s neck before stepping back to allow Steve to go answer the loud knock._ _

__Painfully adjusting his jeans, tucking himself away and letting one hand drop to try to hide his thickness, Steve walked over to the door. Wrenching it open, Steve grumbled in annoyance at the man standing there. Their voices remained low, Steve’s laced with frustration, as they talked urgently for several minutes. Finally, Steve accepted a piece of paper and shut the door, expression annoyed._ _

__TJ walked to the edge of the hall and peeked around the corner to see what was wrong._ _

__Slapping the paper onto the counter, Steve shook his head. “Stupid landlords . . .” He turned back towards the bedroom and paused, flushing. “Hey, TJ . . . sorry?”_ _

__“What’s wrong?” TJ asked softly._ _

__“Our landlord noticed I advertised for a roommate and wanted to remind me that there is a two person, two pet policy. We aren’t allowed more animals than people.” Steve shook his head. “As if _that_ was something he needed to come bug us about at this time of night?”_ _

__“That is weird,” TJ nodded in agreement._ _

__Shrugging, Steve nodded. “The guy likes to pop in without rhyme or reason, I think. I used to think he was doing it to catch Peggy in her underwear or something, but since he never was able to, it seemed kind of pointless for him to keep trying.” He walked back over to TJ, his erection wilted at the unexpected interruption. “Maybe I’m just being naive and he’s really here to try to check _you_ out?”_ _

__TJ flushed and let out a laugh, “ever think maybe he wants to check _you_ out? I mean, have you looked in the mirror lately?”_ _

__Flushing, Steve ducked his head. “Didn’t want to seem arrogant . . .”_ _

__Snorting, TJ smiled and kissed Steve, “you still wanna do this?”_ _

__“Yeah,” Steve grinned back, going breathless all over again. He smiled and tugged TJ over by his hips. Glancing over at the clock without really thinking about it, Steve froze and double-checked the clock. “Damn! It’s that late?”_ _

__Looking over at the clock, TJ frowned, “well, shit. We gotta get up pretty early . . . “ he was no stranger to sleepless nights but he didn’t want Steve to stay up later if he needed to get to sleep._ _

__Nodding, Steve sighed and touched foreheads. “We can . . . uh . . . we can pick this up later? I mean . . . this isn’t just a one off, right? We’re . . .” bright red, Steve blinked and pulled back to try to read TJ’s eyes, “you wanna be my boyfriend?” One night stands had never been appealing to Steve even though he’d had his fair share in college. He liked the idea of not having to explain over and over his own failings sexually; once would be enough if TJ agreed. He pushed away the rising panic that came with the idea of getting a boyfriend once more. He’d only ever ventured that way once, and it hadn’t turned out well at all._ _

__Grinning, TJ nodded, “sure, I’ll be your boyfriend . . . maybe now, Brock will leave us both alone once he knows we are both taken?” Of course, TJ left out the fact that if Steve was his boyfriend . . . then maybe, just maybe, TJ would be able to move past his troublesome thoughts concerning his own brother._ _

__Flushing still, Steve shook his head. “Brock has no personal boundaries, TJ. Announcing your private business all over school won’t stop that asshole from trying something.”_ _

__“But . . . you do wanna tell people, right?” TJ asked, suddenly worried that this relationship might be Sean Reeves all over again. Even with his desperation to move past Bucky, TJ did not want a repeat of Sean Reeves._ _

__“I’d love to tell people, TJ, but we have to be careful _who_ we tell. Admin’s . . . Admin’s fired two people for their sexual preferences. They say it was for other reasons, but we all know the truth.” Steve sounded as worried as he looked; telling people was the furthest thing from what Steve desired. It was safer to keep things hidden, private._ _

__“Well, they know I’m gay and they still hired me . . . maybe they don’t care anymore?” TJ said, eyes watching Steve closely._ _

__Blinking in surprise, Steve asked, “they do? That’s . . . unusual. I’ve never heard of them breaking their own policy against homosexuality. It’s whatever the parents want, and most of them are tight-assed prejudice . . .” Steve cut off his own derogatory remarks._ _

__“I don’t . . .” TJ sighed and stepped back, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t want to be another closeted man’s _dirty little secret_. He wanted someone that wouldn’t be ashamed to hold hands in public or introduce him to others as his boyfriend._ _

__Steve drew a long, deep breath and let it out, stepping back from TJ’s enticing person. “This isn’t gonna work between us, is it?” he asked. He refused to push TJ into something he seemed not to want. Steve might be afraid to come out to anyone, but he would support and defend TJ if the other man wanted to take the chance. Steve felt TJ was risking quite a bit in their conservative academy, despite the Admin supposedly knowing his sexual preferences._ _

__TJ looked at Steve, his eyes worried, “if . . . if we hide . . . you have to promise me that eventually you’ll come out. I won’t hide forever.”_ _

__Shaking his head, Steve held up his hands, palms out towards TJ. “I can’t promise that, TJ. I’ve been keeping this close most of my whole life. I told before and it . . . didn’t work well. I’m not going to promise something I’m not sure I’ll do. I won’t lie.”_ _

__“So, what? You just want me to be your piece on the side?” TJ shook his head, looking angry and hurt._ _

__Frowning, Steve shook his head. “No. I never said that. I know I can’t come out, so I’m not gonna hold you back, TJ. I wish we could have something, but we’ve got different views on this . . . and those views are going to get in the way of being together. I think staying platonic roommates might be wisest after all.” His heart ached more than his body at the idea of losing this chance; he’d hoped it would be different with TJ._ _

__“Different views,” TJ nodded, barking out a bitter laugh, “yeah, sure, Steve. Whatever you want,” the brunet brushed past Steve and walked over to the door to his room, grabbing his unopened duffel bag, “think I am going to move in, in a week, after all.”_ _

__“Good night, TJ,” Steve responded sadly. He didn’t know how to make TJ see that not everyone was confident enough to come out publicly at fifteen; not everyone had high ranking politicians protecting them from the world. Turning, Steve slipped back into his bedroom and turned the lights off, leaving the door slightly ajar. TJ might be angry, but Steve could at least be assured that he hadn’t lied to the other man; he hadn’t made false promises. If he wasn’t able to come out, he wouldn’t force TJ into some sordid hidden relationship . . . not like his first male lover had treated him back in college, and then when he’d been naively willing to expose himself to the bigotry of others in the Army . . . when he learned that was the way of pain and horror. Collecting pajamas and underpants, Steve headed into the bathroom; he had the pressing urge to get _clean_ outside . . . and in._ _


	3. Driven by Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Graphic RAPE** , Flashbacks, Bigotry and Hate-Driven Slurs. Twincest desires and discussion. BDSM discussion.

The first week of school passed by in a blur, TJ mainly focused on his classes, trying to avoid both Steve and Brock as much as possible. He was still bitter over his conversation with Steve and the relationship that had ended before it could begin. And, living with Bucky after the kiss had been awkward . . . Bucky still showered him with touches and even a few kisses but nothing moved past that.

Finally, the last bell chimed on Friday and TJ was thankful that he’d have the weekend off. The music teacher checked to make sure all the instruments were accounted for before grabbing his bag and locking up his classroom.

“Got plans this weekend?” Bucky’s voice called from down the hall, sounding curious but not overly happy. His twin frowned softly, approaching swiftly. Despite sharing a few kisses and touches, Bucky found he wanted so much more . . . and knew he shouldn’t. He wished it had worked out with Steve for TJ, though he was secretly glad they weren’t separated even by one floor. But still the _forbidden_ attraction had Bucky worried.

“If by plans you mean lounging around doing absolutely nothing with my twin and his wife? Then, yes, I have plans,” TJ answered, smiling softly at his twin.

Bucky nodded. “Sounds about right after first week madness. You doing okay? We haven’t really spoken since you moved in.” Kissed and cuddled, but not talked . . . Bucky fell into step with his twin.

“I’m fine,” TJ said with a nod, “I’m sorry . . . it’s been busy and I’m usually pretty beat after school . . . we can talk and stuff sometime this weekend?”

“Don’t feel obliged,” Bucky laughed, leading TJ towards Natasha’s domain. “I’m available if you want me, but you don’t have to feel attached.” He flushed lightly at the inadvertent double _entendre_. “I get wanting to have some quiet time.” Bucky knocked on Natasha’s auditorium door and called, “ready?”

The door opened and Nat slipped out, “yep.”

TJ suddenly remembered he had left a folder of lesson plans, that he was supposed to go over during the weekend, sitting on his desk. “Crap. Forgot something . . . I’ll meet up with you two later?”

“Sure. We won’t wait up.” Bucky grinned. “Going dancing.” He winked at his twin and slid his right arm around Natasha’s waist. Bucky guided his wife down the hallway.

Hurrying back down the hall, TJ quickly unlocked his classroom and headed towards his desk to grab the large folder.

Not a few seconds later strong hands came around TJ’s waist and a mouth kissed and nibbled at the sensitive skin right behind his ear.

At first he thought it might be Bucky but something didn’t feel right about the kiss . . . Bucky had been strictly platonic the entire week, aside from a few gentle kisses; he wouldn’t risk this type of affection.

The man behind TJ ground a thick, cloth covered erection against the slender brunet’s ass, still nibbling.

TJ whimpered as he squirmed and tried to get away from the grip. Something was very wrong.

A deep rasp murmured into his neck, “just go with it, Hammond. You know you’re desperate for it. I’ll fill your tight ass full.”

Freezing, TJ felt his heart pound against his rib cage, then he tried to pull away again, “Brock . . . let me go . . .” He fought again, squirming and pulling against Brock’s strong grip.

Slamming TJ against the high desk, winding him a bit, Brock ground again and growled, “you’re needing to be fucked, Hammond. Admit you want this. We can lock the door if you want . . . or leave it open if you prefer to be naughty. You’re a naughty kinda slut, ain’t ya? You like the idea that your fucking brother might see you taking me up the ass.”

Groaning, but in pain, not pleasure, it took a moment for Brock’s words to register. There was no way Brock knew anything about what happened between him and Bucky!

“You want me to push you over the desk and fuck your ass while Barnes watches and tugs on himself, doncha?” Brock pushed again against TJ’s buttocks with his thick member. “I seen the looks. You unnatural freaks wanna fuck each other . . . brothers!”

“Brock . . . please . . .” TJ whimpered, fighting against Brock’s strong hold, hands trying to find purchase on the solid desk, trying to get enough leverage to push Brock off.

“Yeah, thought so. Get on your fucking knees, slut.” Brock ground hard into TJ’s clothed ass. “You can even pretend I’m Barnes taking you up the ass.”

“Stop . . . get off me!” TJ pushed again, hands scrambling to find _something_ he could use to fight Brock off with.

Brock growled, tangling his hand in TJ’s curls and tugging hard, painfully. “You want this bad. You’re just aching for your fucking brother! I wanna see your needy ass . . . the one he pounds every night . . .” Brock reached around and unfastened TJ’s jeans with surprising dexterity, starting to push them off his victim’s hips as he continued to painfully pull his hair, body holding TJ against the edge of the desk.

TJ cried out at the harsh pulling, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, pure panic settled in him as Brock began to slide down his jeans, “Brock! Stop! Get off!”

“Shut the fuck up, you whiny bitch!” Brock rasped, slamming TJ against the desk hard. He then fumbled down TJ’s boxer-briefs. “That’s right, show me what you’ve been hiding. You are one hella needy bitch, ain’t ya?” He grabbed at TJ’s crotch and stroked his cock a couple of times, balls to top. “You want me to fuck you hard, don’t ya?” Brock forced TJ to the floor and knelt on his lower back, unfastening his own trousers until he exposed his thick, meaty member. Tugging himself free, letting his erection slap against TJ’s cheek as he bent over the other man, Brock growled out, “you want it . . .”

“No . . . Brock - - p -- please! Stop . . . I - - I won’t say anything . . . just . . . stop - - please!” TJ begged, still squirming, still fighting to get free despite his painfully trapped back and his sore abdomen from Brock slamming him into the desk a few times.

“Damn stupid prude, Rogers, don’t know how lucky he got it. If he weren't so fuckin’ in the closet, he could be plowing that sweet ass every night. Instead you let your brother fuck you - - and you’d just love to take them both at once, wouldn’t ya, you dirty whore! Show me how much you want me in you!” Brock growled his orders, grabbing at TJ’s hair again and tugging his face close, Brock’s member rubbing precum over TJ’s cheek. He continued kneeling on TJ, full weight pressing him down.

TJ whimpered, clamping his eyes and mouth shut; his hands clawed and pushed against the floor in a last ditch effort to get the stronger man off of him.

“That’s a good little slut,” Brock growled out. He tugged hard again and grinned. “Take me in, slut. Show me how you want this.” He slid his thick, hard cock against TJ’s cheek towards his lips. “Show me how you suck your brother!”

Shaking his head, refusing to open his mouth, TJ shoved against the floor, actually managing to push Brock off enough that he was able to scrabble some distance away.

Brock grabbed TJ’s foot and dragged him back, took his hair in a fierce grip, and slammed his head on the floor, hard.

Stars danced in his vision, and TJ felt like he might get sick or pass out. However, his vision cleared and he could feel something warm, sticky, running down the side of his face.TJ continued to fight weakly, though his head pounded and the room felt like it was spinning.

Pushing TJ forcefully down at the shoulders, but holding his hips up with a bruising grip, Brock grinned. “Yeah, look at that tight ass. You’re ready for me, ain’t ya?” Brock lined his thick member up and rubbed the head against TJ’s pursed opening. “You want this, doncha slut? Can’t get enough of being fucked, can ya? Taught ya real good down in DC, ya fuckhound. And now got you fucking your brother!

“G - - get . . . off . . .” TJ whimpered weakly, face smearing against the blood on the floor that ran from the gash on his eyebrow from the harsh slam.

Snarling, Brock began to push himself past the tight ring of muscle, grunting at the dry, gripping, near painful passage. “God, so tight for a slut . . .”

TJ cried out, the pain intense and all-consuming as he hadn’t been prepped at all. He forced himself to take deep breaths to try and relax his muscles, trying to make this as least painful as possible. The lack of lube made Brock’s first thrust incredibly painful, like every inch Brock shoved inside of him ripped him open wider.

Without giving TJ much time to adjust, Brock began shoving in further. He kept going until he bottomed out with a loud grunt of satisfaction. Slapping TJ’s buttock, Brock growled, “damn fine ass. Just eager to be filled.” He started pulling back out only to snap his hips and thrust hard back inside. Brock began to establish a punishing rhythm, not bothered by TJ’s lack of stretching, lack of moisture, or lack of answering rhythm. “Fuck, yeah . . . you were made to be fucked, weren’t ya?”

TJ’s hands clawed at the smooth floor, a few nails breaking against the hard surface, trying to push up so he could attempt to get Brock off of him. The thrusting was painful and Brock didn’t even try to hit his prostate to make this any bit enjoyable to TJ. After a few more painful, practically dry thrusts, blood the only lubricant available, TJ whimpered, feeling as if the other man was tearing out his insides, “Brock . . . Brock, stop . . . hurts . . .” TJ sobbed, unable to stop the tears.

Slapping TJ sharply, jarring his ass harshly, Brock said, “quit whining, slut. You don’t get to complain, you fucking sicko! Fuckin’ your brother! I’m in charge!” He pounded harder, ignoring his own burning at the tightness, getting off on the feel of control, of causing pain and humiliation.

TJ cried out at the harsh hit that would surely bruise his skin. The brunet tried to push up off the floor again, but his fingers slipped in blood, causing him to fall back to the floor, “Stop . . .” TJ whimpered again. “Brock . . . you're hurting me . . . get off!”

“You deserve it, whore. You let a stranger fuck you in an open public classroom where any kid could walk in, you slut!” Brock thrust harder, grabbing tighter. It didn’t take long for Brock to drive himself towards orgasm, taking his pleasure without concern for his victim. He thrust hard and fast until he felt that familiar tightening itch in his heavy balls. “Gonna fill you full, fucker,” he groaned, blasting hot ropes of cum into TJ’s abused passage without further warning. Brock held himself deep and still at last as he pumped load after hot load. Finally, slapping TJ again on the ass, eliciting another pained whimper from the smaller brunet, Brock dragged himself from TJ with a low groan. “Damn, you are so fucking made to be fucked! Whoever trained you, trained you good!” He glanced down at the messy needy man and stood, tucking himself back in his pants, ignoring his own bloody, messy member.

TJ felt a sickening feeling of disgust and guilt well inside of him. His whole lower half ached and he felt like he’d been torn in two. Whimpering softly, TJ pushed to his hands and knees, his arms quivering, only to fall back to the floor when his shaking limbs couldn’t support his weight.

“Yeah, I think next week will be soon enough to service you again,” Brock chuckled. “Maybe next time you’ll bring lube or something . . . unless you like that raw burn. That how your brother takes you: raw and tight?” Shrugging, Brock walked from the room, his footsteps hesitating in the hall. “What? You a fucking voyeur now, Rogers? You like watching me fuck him?” Brock growled before storming off, footsteps fading.

TJ whimpered at the name, trying to get his limbs to cooperate, but everything _hurt_. He tried to push up again, but he didn’t get very far before falling to the hard floor once more. The lean brunet began to cry, pain and humiliation coursing through him, his hands blindly moved down to attempt pulling up his jeans but the effort was futile since he unable to lift himself off the ground.

Glancing over his shoulder, a puzzled frown on his face, Steve walked in through the open door. “What did he mean by that?” Steve asked and turned his head, freezing at the sight of a half dressed, totally fucked and bloody TJ. Softly he said, “TJ?” Steve seemed frozen, horrified and pale, shaking. Instantly memories of pain and fear and humiliation filled him, followed by an intense sense of being _dirty_ . . . so dirty he’d never get clean again. Steve began to shake.

Bucky walked in right behind Steve and froze. He ran over to his injured brother and touched his shoulder. “Don’t move, TJ. Steve get an ambulance!”

“Buck . . .” TJ whimpered, giving up on trying to dress himself, pain and humiliation lacing his tone.

Glancing up, shocked and annoyed by Steve’s lack of response, Bucky pulled out his phone and texted Natasha. _‘Get 911, TJ’s room!’_ “I got ya, TJ. I’m here. Don’t move.”

“Hurts . . .” TJ gasped through a pained sob; his body trembled and every movement caused his breath to hitch in agony.

Steve’s trance seemed to break and he strode over quickly, kneeling down and carefully putting a hand to the back of TJ’s head, wincing and pulling back a the feel of blood. “Damn, TJ . . . I’m gonna kill him!” Anger and hate filled the man and Steve stood and bolted from the room.

TJ’s eyes seemed to be focusing and unfocusing on his twin, tears falling from his eyes; he began to sob harder. Despite the action causing his body to hurt more, TJ couldn't stop.

Bucky carefully gathered his brother across his lap and held him, letting him cry. He stroked lightly at TJ’s spine. “It’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.”

“I’m . . . I’m so . . . s- -sorry,” TJ wailed, his face burying into Bucky’s lap.

Steve stormed back in, muttering angrily. He sank to TJ’s side and reached out a hesitant hand to touch his shoulder. “I lost him. I’m sorry.” Steve switched to a soothing, non judgmental tone. “It’s okay, TJ, we’re here. We’ll take care of you.”

“H - - he . . . knew - - don’t know . . . he _knew_ ,” TJ looked up at Bucky, pain and fear, a little panic, in those tear-washed pale-blue eyes. “He _knew_ , Buck . . . ‘m sorry . . .”

Bucky shook his head. “There’s nothing for him to know, TJ. He was just spouting.” He carefully stroked his brother’s spine over and over again.

Natasha rushed into the room, phone to her ear, and her eyes widened at the sight. She could _smell_ the blood . . . the sex. Red smeared on the floor beneath the three men. TJ sobbed as Steve and Bucky tried to sooth him. After she finished with 911, she hung up and hurried over to her husband, “the ambulance is on the way.”

“N - - no . . . “ TJ wailed, “h - - he knew!

Carefully, Steve transferred TJ from Bucky’s lap to his own, petting him, tone calm and soothing, “it’s okay, baby, I’ve got you.” He leaned close. “He can’t touch you. I’m here now.”

The soothing tone only made TJ cry harder. How could Steve not be disgusted with him? The brunet curled up against Steve’s side and held the blond tightly, as if expecting Steve to push him away at any moment. If Brock knew how TJ felt about Bucky . . . Steve might, too.

Cuddling TJ against his lap, Steve continued to pet him gently, carefully, whispering soothing nothings to him. He waited out the storm of tears, the clutching hands, the needy noises. Finally, as TJ seemed to be calming, Steve bent over. “After the hospital, want me to take you home, baby?” he asked softly in TJ’s ear. “I’ll keep you safe. I’ve got a double lock,” he reminded the other man.

TJ nodded, keeping his face buried in Steve’s lap, “I’m sorry . . . I didn’t - - he _knew_.”

“It’s okay, baby. It doesn’t matter what he knew, TJ. You’re with family now,” Steve cooed.

Sirens approached, louder and louder.

“Don’t . . . no - - hospital . . .” TJ whimpered. He was no stranger to hospital visits, he knew all the tests, all the _questions_ that would come with going to the hospital. “I - - I wanna go home . . . please . . . just wanna go home . . .”

Steve frowned at Bucky, who frowned right back. Bucky reached out to touch TJ’s back. “TJ, you’re hurt and bleeding. They need to scan your head . . .” he didn’t mention the fact that TJ also needed a full rape evaluation done.

“‘M sorry . . .” TJ’s words slurred together, his eyes having a hard time staying focused on anything.

Several people entered, one of them a tall dark-skinned man with a patch over one eye. The man looked fierce and angry. He watched, silently menacing, as the ambulance crew gathered TJ onto the stretcher. Bucky went with TJ into the ambulance while Steve turned to talk to the silent man.

It wasn’t long before TJ found himself whisked into an emergency room and treatments and testings began, another anonymous face in a crowd of victims in New York City. Bucky stayed by his side and refused to leave, even arguing with the doctors, until, two hours later, they finally let TJ rest a bit, having given him a shot of pain meds, while they went to check scan and test results and consult with police.

Bucky sat on a small round rolling stool by TJ’s head, stroking his shoulder over and over, whispering sweet words of comfort in his twin’s ear. Steve walked in, leading Natasha.

“How is he?” Natasha asked softly, green eyes worried as she took in TJ’s battered form. Her husband’s twin looked small on the hospital bed.

“Torn up pretty bad, and a concussion, but he’ll be able to go home soon. The cops took his statement and the doctors are consulting with them now.” Bucky lightly kissed TJ’s neck and nuzzled softly, “my poor big brother. I love you, TJ . . .”

“Love you . . .” TJ smiled softly, dazed eyes falling onto his brother, “wanna go home . . .”

Nodding, Steve stepped forward. “As soon as we get the discharge papers, TJ, I’m taking you to my apartment. You’ll be safer there with the double locks.” He’d discussed this with Natasha on the way to the hospital, though he hadn’t understood why she wanted to push TJ out of her apartment after such an attack. She wouldn’t explain since they’d already arrived by that part of their talk.

Natasha frowned softly, worried about her husband’s reaction to the news. But she suspected that Brock had somehow found out about TJ and Bucky's feelings for one another . . . they needed to separate the twins in order to protect them.

Bucky lifted his eyes, pain and grief and guilt in them. He nodded slowly and touched TJ’s shoulder. “Steve can keep you safe, brother mine, until the cops catch that bastard and nail him up!”

“Not - - kickin’ me out? ‘M sorry . . . didn’t mean it . . .” TJ whimpered, his drug-riddled brain having a hard time keeping up with the entirety of the conversation.

“God, no! TJ, I’d never kick you out. The elevator only goes to the third and fourth floor. You can’t walk upstairs in this condition,” Bucky tried another tact. “Besides, Steve’s had some medical training, and with my hand,” bitterness laced his voice. Bucky was independent and strong, but his hand cramped with high stress, and right then it was a useless shaking claw.

“Mm’kay . . . understand,” TJ muttered softly.

While the nurse slipped in with the paperwork for Bucky to sign, which he did with some difficulty, Steve carefully scooped TJ into his arms, johnny, hospital blanket, and all. He whispered, “I’ll take care of you, TJ.” He’d only know the man a week, and that had been pretty strained, but Steve’s heart naturally went out to someone injured . . . especially someone as sweet as TJ. His own interest aside, Steve would find it hard _not_ to protect this man, twin of his best friend. Added to that the total _understanding_ he felt for TJ’s condition, Steve couldn’t just leave him injured and unprotected; he _had_ to help TJ.

“Keep me safe, Steve?” TJ whimpered, letting his head fall against the blond's chest. Even with the pain medication, the movement jarred TJ's torn, abused insides making the smaller man cry out softly.

“It’s okay, baby, we’ll talk at home. Just breathe.” Steve turned and carried TJ from the exam cubicle. He trusted Bucky and Natasha to pick up TJ’s medications. If TJ needed anything else, they could get it later on. Right then, his roommate obviously needed some very careful attention. Steve ignored everyone and anyone, including the nurse with the wheelchair, as he carried TJ to a waiting Uber van and stepped in the man’s view. The drive jumped out and opened the door so Steve could slide TJ onto the wide back seat, laying down. He arrange for their passage home and climbed in, sitting on the floor next to the bench seat, petting TJ’s cheek the entire way to their apartment building. At home, he paid then carefully carried the lighter man up the steps until he came to a stop outside their apartment. Quietly, he asked, “TJ? You got your keys, baby?”

TJ shook his head; his keys had been in his pants pocket which had been taken by the police.

“Can you reach mine? In my front right pocket?” Steve prompted gently.

Nodding, TJ slipped a shaky hand into Steve's pocket and pulled out the blond's keys.

“That’s good,” Steve praised gently. “Can you unlock the door, baby? Let us in?” Steve continued to carry TJ as if he was the most precious cargo ever.

After a few tries, TJ unlocked the door and turned the knob, opening it.

Steve carried his roommate into the apartment and kicked the door shut behind them. Heading for the bathroom, Steve finally stopped right next to the tub. Holding TJ securely in his arms, Steve kicked off his shoes and climbed into the tub, sinking down with TJ balanced on his lap. He stroked TJ’s soft curls, reaching over with a free hand to begin filling the tub with hot water, not getting out from under TJ. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. I’ve got you now, sweetheart,” he crooned gently.

“I - - I told him to let go of me . . .” TJ mumbled. He wanted Bucky . . . but, his twin seemed to want him staying with Steve . . . TJ could understand. He was a handful and it wasn’t fair to Bucky to be expected to take care of him.

Nodding, Steve nuzzled gently at TJ’s temple but didn’t push his attentions further. Softly he said, “I’m sorry I was so late, baby. You’re safe now.”

TJ’s body trembled, and despite the pain the movement caused, he curled up as small as he could on Steve's lap. “Not your fault . . . should've fought harder . . .” the brunet's speech was still jumbled, having a hard time organizing his thoughts due to the concussion and medication.

Softly, gently stroking TJ’s hair, dipping his hand into the water and bringing it up to dribble warm water over TJ’s head, Steve asked, “Do you think you didn’t fight?” He purposely uncurled one of TJ’s hands and lifted it, displaying the broken, bloodied nails. “You fought, baby, you did good.”

“Not hard enough . . . ” TJ said softly.

Steve nuzzled again and asked, “How is screaming and clawing and such not hard enough, TJ baby?”

“He still fucked me, didn't he?” TJ snapped, but he regretted the anger behind his words immediately, though he didn't verbally apologize.

“That was far from _fucking_ , TJ, that was _rape_. You had no free will or choice. No respect.” Steve slipped a hand under TJ’s chin and lifted it, his tone firm yet caring. “Okay?” He stroked lightly with two fingers. “I heard him use some derogatory language . . .”

“You - - you heard . . . did you - -” TJ whimpered, he didn't know how much Steve had heard . . . TJ met Steve’s eyes, his own tear-washed and filled with both physical and emotional pain. Had Steve had heard Brock’s accusations of incest?

“You shouldn’t feel afraid to go back to your classroom, TJ. This isn’t your fault. Brock shouldn’t have gone near you if you didn’t want him to. The school should be a safe place.” Steve nuzzled TJ’s temple again, his voice shaking softly as he asked, “you hurt a lot, don’t you? You’re breathing like you’re in pain again.”

“Everything _hurts_ ,” TJ breathed out in a shaky tone, and he wasn't lying. His head hurt, his back hurt where Brock had been kneeling on it, his hands hurt, he ached deep inside . . . but it wasn't just physical pain . . . he felt broken, dirty . . . humiliated that he'd let Brock use him like that . . . that he _wanted_ his own brother.

Nodding, Steve stroked TJ’s cheek gently. “I’ll get you some pain meds, baby. Just let me get you out of this so I can bathe you.” Again, Steve’s tone was non-judgmental. He began unbuttoning TJ’s shirt with steady fingers.

TJ shook his head, “no . . .” his voice was barely above a whisper and he couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes.

“You don’t want to undress, bathe, or take meds?” Steve asked softly, tone not changing as he paused.

“I - - I don’t know? I don’t want . . .” TJ flushed, swallowing thickly. Everything about his demeanor screamed embarrassment and pain. He didn’t want Steve to see how _dirty_ he was . . . even though Steve had been the one to find him.

Nodding, as if TJ made perfect sense, Steve carefully eased the shirt from TJ’s arms and tossed it aside. He began to work on TJ’s jeans with careful fingers.

TJ wrapped his arms around his bruised abdomen; he ducked his head, causing some of the red-tinted water to drip from his hairline. Flushing deeper, TJ nodded, “I . . . I need to be touched . . . but never . . . never like _that_ . . .”

Sighing, Steve nodded. “Yeah, I know how that feels. Sometimes it gets overwhelming and you just _need_.” He began to ease the wet jeans off TJ’s hips, keeping the other man on his lap.

TJ hissed as Steve’s fingers brushed over the bruise marks on his hips.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Steve apologized softly. “Gotta get these off to take care of you.” Steve got the material off and tossed the wet jeans aside. He took a slow breath and met TJ’s eyes. “Gonna remove your boxers, baby, okay? May I take care of you, TJ?”

Nodding, TJ released a shaky breath and allowed Steve to slide the boxers down his legs.

Slipping the boxers from TJ’s hips, Steve frowned at the darkening bruises Brock had gripped into TJ’s narrow hips and bruises across his ass. Tossing the drawers aside, Steve shook his head. “Where to start? Do you want me to wash you?” He kept his own wet jeans on, not wanting TJ to feel as if yet another man was going to demand sex from him.

“Please? I’m sorry . . .” TJ wished he’d never gone back to that classroom; he needed to be _clean_ . . . he could still feel Brock’s hands on him.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. We’ll figure this out, okay?” Steve asked softly. He began to soap up a soft washcloth. Carefully, Steve brought the cloth down and began to wash over TJ’s bruised hips, gently circling lower and lower on the other man’s pelvis until he slid the soapy cloth over TJ’s member and sac, his strong, large hand sure and gentle.

TJ gasped softly at the gentle pressure but didn’t make any moves or pleas for Steve to continuing the touching any further than cleaning. He felt a twinge of guilt and disgust in himself for even feeling pleasure after what had just happened.

Noting TJ’s slight interest, Steve asked carefully, “Sometimes even if there’s pain and fear, we can want . . . did he leave you needy, pet?”

“He . . . no - - he didn’t . . . I - -” TJ stuttered, flushing bright red as his eyes fell from Steve’s face; mortified tears welled in TJ’s eyes; his arms wrapped tighter around himself.

“Did you want me to give you pleasure, TJ? I don’t mind.” Steve offered TJ a gentle, encouraging smile, his hand still washing TJ’s genitalia carefully with the soapy cloth.

TJ’s breath hitched in his throat and he squirmed in Steve's lap, eyes squeezing shut as he forced himself to take a few deep breaths. “I . . . I . . . please . . .”

Steve nodded and nuzzled TJ’s neck again, gently tracing his lips over the other man’s throat. “Relax, pet, I got you.” He pulled the soapy cloth away but didn’t rinse the soap from his hand or TJ’s member, encircling TJ’s erection with a strong hand. Running his thumb over the spongy head, caressing gently over the weeping slit, Steve manipulated TJ’s member with a sure grip. He began to rotate his hand, the soap easing his ministrations, as Steve dropped his free hand to cup and weigh TJ’s heavy sac. “There’s a good boy,” Steve crooned in appreciation, his hands large yet caring, his every stroke intent on pleasuring the lean man in his strong arms. He was very careful not to approach TJ’s abused passage, and his own member remained flaccid. This was about soothing TJ not actually about sex or pleasure.

“Steve . . .” TJ moaned softly, his head falling back to rest on the blond's strong shoulder, his arms slowly relaxing.

“Yeah, pet? Whatcha need?” Steve breathed into TJ’s neck as he worked. Steve felt his natural desire to care for people taking over; he knew what TJ needed, even if the injured, frightened man didn’t know himself. “Let yourself feel, pet. Let yourself just relax and feel.”

TJ arched into Steve's hand, the pleasure of the blond's hands on him threatening to overwhelm him. The lean brunet whimpered softly.

“There’s my good boy,” Steve murmured in approval, voice low and filled with pleasure. “You like this, pet? I want you to feel good. Tell me how to touch you, sweetheart.” Steve dropped more kisses to TJ’s neck, moving his mouth slowly over the skin, working his teeth in very light nips to neck and jaw. “Precious, TJ, beautiful . . .”

“Yes . . . God, I love your touch, Steve . . .” TJ keened, his eyes slipping shut as he released another moan. He could already feel he was getting close.

“Feel so good in my hands, pet,” Steve purred, nipping at TJ’s jaw again. He slipped a soapy hand over TJ’s balls, fondling carefully, playing over his sensitive taint. Steve took care not to touch TJ’s anus but he did move that same hand backwards to caress over bruised buttocks. Steve didn’t add pressure, merely ghosted his fingers over the discolored flesh of TJ’s buttocks, his other hand still working the erection, stroking, lightly twisting, caressing over the head and shaft. “Cum for me, sweetheart? Please, cum for me? I wanna see you release for me, pet.”

Gasping, TJ’s back arched again and he painted Steve's hand with his load, his face flushed from both the warm water and release. “Steve . . .” TJ keened.

“That’s right, pet,” Steve praised, slowing his strokes and judging TJ’s sensitivity with care, making sure to continue milking the other man until he was spent. Slowly, Steve picked the cloth back up and bathed the semen from TJ’s crotch and belly, kissing his neck gently as he worked tenderly. “So beautiful, TJ. You’re gorgeous. You feelin’ better, sweetheart?” Steve kissed TJ right behind the ear, inadvertently in that same sensitive spot Brock had used, but Steve did it out of care not seduction.

“Yes . . .” TJ nodded, a shiver running down his spine from Steve's kisses. His body thrummed with Steve’s touch and the small pleasure he felt from release chased away some of the guilt he felt for feeling needy in the first place.

“Good,” Steve claimed, pleased. “I’m gonna clean you up now, okay? Don’t wanna hurt you, but you’re covered in blood and stuff back there, baby.”

“It’s . . . gonna hurt?” TJ whimpered softly; he knew he was torn up pretty bad, the doctor had told him so, so he knew that any attempt to clean would hurt.

“Yeah, Brock tore you up pretty bad when he raped you.” Steve carefully spread his legs below TJ, still fully dressed under the nude man, and reached between TJ’s legs to very gently begin washing at his passage, the soft cloth pulling away the clotted blood and other dried mess that had been soaking in the hot water while Steve had tended him. “If it’s too much, let me know, baby, okay? We’ll think of something else . . .”

As Steve cleaned the blood and semen from his passage, TJ tried to stay relaxed despite the flare of pain that rushed through his body. “How - - how much did you . . . hear, Steve?” TJ asked softly, fearing the answer he'd get in return.

“I heard him say he was gonna come back for you in a week,” Steve said softly, “and that next time you should bring lube.” Steve didn’t mention that he’d heard Brock’s accusations of incest; there was no place for such unfounded rumors in this apartment. No matter what, TJ had a safe haven here.

TJ nodded, releasing a deep breath; Steve hadn't heard him asking for Rumlow to stop . . . Steve must think he was disgusting . . . even if the blond spoke gently with kind words, there was no way that Steve couldn't feel disgusted from what he had heard and seen. Hearing that Steve had heard Brock’s last comment made that disgust in himself well up again . . . Steve probably thought TJ wanted what Brock did to him.

Crooning gently as he worked carefully, Steve murmured, “there’s my good boy. I’ve got you, TJ. Almost done, baby. Need a breather?” he offered, hand pausing. He didn’t address what went on between the two men yet, concentrating on healing TJ first, but he wouldn’t deny if TJ wanted to discuss it right off.

TJ shook his head, “no . . . just wanna get this done . . . God, I'm so stupid . . .” he winced as Steve worked. “Shouldn’t . . . shouldn’t have gone back . . .”

Shaking his head slowly, Steve whispered, “not stupid, baby. You had no idea that when you said _‘no,’_ he’d take what he wanted anyway.” Steve began to clean TJ once more, carefully working his cloth and soap-covered finger in past the ring of muscle to get that last bit of blood and dried semen. He eased back out with a coo of sympathy. “All done baby, all done. Just rest, TJ. We’ll get up and dry soon. Just want you to breathe, baby. There’s my good boy.” Steve held him in a secure, strong arm, the other hand tossing the cloth out of the tub and onto the stack of clothes on the bathroom floor.

Whimpering softly as Steve’s finger gently entered him, TJ let out a breath of relief when the blond pulled out.

Steve gently kissed TJ’s neck as he cuddled the lean man.

Involuntarily, TJ leaned into Steve’s touch, softly, fear lacing his tone, he asked, “and . . . you - - you didn’t hear anything else?”

“I heard Brock accuse you of stuff and then his last, harsh words, baby, but I believe you didn’t want any of that. You told him to stop, he continued and took anyway. TJ, baby, Brock raped you, sweetheart.” Steve held the other man tenderly, meeting his eyes, trying to help him understand that he was not to blame for the sexual encounter.

“I . . .” TJ’s eyes welled with tears and he ducked his head as he whimpered while they fell down his cheeks. Steve had heard about the incest . . . TJ felt like he might get sick. What made TJ feel even worse was that he _still_ wanted his brother . . . a part of him wished he was with Bucky instead of Steve. No wonder Bucky wanted him out of the apartment . . . TJ was _sick_ . . . disgusting . . . unnatural.

Sensing that TJ was still extremely upset about what Steve had overheard, even more than the actual rape, Steve stroked a hand down TJ’s shoulder and arm. He’d have to address Brock’s words after all. “TJ, what Brock said to you, it means nothing. He was being vicious . . .”

Letting out a sob, TJ hugged himself again and pulled away from Steve’s embrace.

TJ’s reaction was so severe, Steve wondered if there was truth to the claims, after all. Carefully, he pulled the man back against his chest and settled his large hands over TJ’s stomach. Softly, he asked, “are you attracted to your brother, pet? Is that’s what’s bothering you?”

TJ closed his eyes and he felt another wave of nausea rush through him. Steve couldn’t know . . . he’d think TJ was sick.

“I wouldn’t blame you,” Steve continued in that same neutral, soft tone, “he’s a good looking man. The hardest part is that society has changed over the centuries and no longer accepts that kind of love, but I still wouldn’t blame you.” He caressed very lightly across TJ’s abdomen.

“Steve . . .” TJ looked up at the blond.

Meeting pale grey-blue eyes with vibrant blue, Steve offered a gentle smile to TJ. “It doesn’t bother me in the least, TJ, if you and Bucky were sexually active or not. That’s your business. Love is too precious to give up, in my opinion . . . I know most people might not agree, but I’ve never been _most people_.” Steve leaned in and whispered, “at least Bucky wouldn’t hurt you.”

Looking back down, TJ closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, “it’s . . . _wrong_.”

Taking a deep, slow breath, Steve said, “and up until a few years ago, it was _wrong_ to love the same gender as yourself.” Shaking his head, Steve added, “wrong is by society standards, I suppose.”

A few stray tears fell down TJ’s cheeks, but he didn’t make any move to wipe them away. “Doesn’t matter . . .” TJ muttered.

“TJ,” Steve’s voice, though still kind, firmed. “Have you told anyone of your interest? Have you made a display of your interest in public?”

TJ shook his head, still not meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Then how could Brock know? He’s been lusting after both Bucky and Natasha since he met them. So, since he can’t have them, and he brutalized you, he accused you of something he probably fantasized about. He has no way of knowing the truth.” Steve lifted a hand to stroke TJ’s hair very carefully. “So, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Didn’t do anything wrong,” TJ echoed on a mumble, nodding slowly, though he didn’t look like he believed the words he spoke.

“Will it help if you move back in with me, baby? Will that help you feel less like you’re doing something wrong?” Steve stroked down TJ’s cheek. “I promise, no strings attached!”

“Why not? It’s what I’m good at . . . it’s what I’ve always been good at. I can show you a good time, Steve,” TJ snapped bitterly.

Steve lifted TJ’s chin carefully and nodded. “I’m sure you could, TJ. You seem to be a very sensual man, and you’re certainly the most attractive I’ve ever met. But I refuse to use or abuse you. You need a place to stay, and here it is. No strings, no hidden agenda. But . . . TJ, you said you need touch? If you ever feel you need to go cruising for touch, you can come to me. I’m clean and can treat you right. If you want me, I’ll be here.”

TJ met Steve’s eyes, his pale eyes still slightly red from the crying. “You . . . you'd do that?”

Steve cupped his face, meeting his eyes. “TJ, I may not be confident coming out in the open, but I’d rather get found out than have you get hurt because you need care. I’d love to take care of you, be here for you, even if you don’t want something more serious with me because of my inadequacies, my history. You need to be safe and cared for. I can give you that, pet.”

“I - - I . . .” TJ flushed brightly and chewed his bottom lip, “I need someone to distract me . . . from Bucky? I - - I don’t want to drive him away because I can’t control myself.”

“Is that all?” Steve kissed TJ’s neck gently, running a hand over his pectoral in a soft caress. “I can help you there. You’re still TJ, my friend and the guy who I’ve been interested in since first meeting. If you need help with anything, especially with that, I can easily help you. Do you want a bit of cuddles and hand holding, or do you want, when you’ve healed, someone to be a surrogate? Or,” Steve gently kissed TJ’s shoulder with a soft smile, eyes worried but by no means disgusted, “do you want more?”

“So, you . . . you still want . . . a relationship?” TJ asked softly, looking wary but not outright refusing.

“TJ,” Steve said seriously, “I’d love to be your boyfriend if you let me, but I’m still not comfortable coming out publicly. That hasn’t changed. If you don’t want a boyfriend like that, we can keep this purely sexual or even just cuddles in front of the television.”

TJ shook his head, “I don't care . . . we can try?.” He slowly leaned forward and captured Steve's lips in his own.

Steve returned the kisses, tilting his head and running his tongue over the seam of TJ’s plush lips. “I’m here for you, sweetheart. I’ll be here as long as you need me.” He kissed TJ again.

TJ mewled and tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue pushing in to explore Steve's mouth, savoring the taste of the other man.

After several tender kisses, Steve pulled back slowly. He stood in one smooth motion, like he had in the classroom, lifting TJ in his strong arms. “Gonna get you rinsed and dried, pet. We need to talk.” He kissed again and slowly lowered TJ’s legs so he could stand.

TJ winced as he supported his own weight, the ache deep inside him hitting him full force. Brock really had done a number on him . . . TJ wasn't a stranger to rough sex but what had happened with Brock had been an entirely new level. 

Steve checked the water in the removable shower head and began using it to rinse TJ, supporting him with one arm still. After a long, warm rinsing, Steve handed the shower-head to TJ. “It’s on gentle if you want to try to rinse more inside? If it hurts too much, don’t do it. Can you stand, baby? I’d like to get out of these clothes.”

“Yeah . . . I'm okay, just . . . hurts. . .” TJ took the shower-head from Steve and flushed, his pale eyes flickering nervously to the blond.

Frowning softly, Steve advised, “put both hands on the wall, baby,” he took back the shower-head. “I’ll help you.”

Nodding, the flush expanded to the back of his neck as TJ turned around and placed both hands on the tile. His arms shook slightly and for the first time, TJ actually looked at his hands. The nails on most of his fingers were cracked or chipped and the fingertips were raw. He winced at the sight; it would be awhile before he could play any instrument.

“Bend over a bit and try to relax. I know you hurt, sweetheart. Let me know if it’s too much.” Steve reached down and used one hand to spread TJ’s bruised cheeks and the other to carefully direct the gentle stream of warm water up his raw, swollen passage.

TJ whimpered, eyes closing and hands clenching as the water rinsed out his abused passage.

After a few long minutes as more coagulated blood and tacky semen washed from TJ, Steve shut off the water and rehung the shower-head. “As deep as I can clean without using something inside you, and you’re not ready for that, TJ. You need to rest and heal.” Steve reached over to run a gentle caress up TJ’s spine, stopping before the terrible bruising started. “So beautiful, TJ,” he breathed. Slowly, Steve began working his own wet shirt off, peeling the too tight material from his torso and over his shoulders, shaking his hair from his eyes as he tossed the sopping material to the growing pile. Glancing down, Steve began to wrestle his jeans off.

With a deep breath, TJ pushed off the wall and turned to look at Steve. The blond's chest was ripped and TJ wanted to run his hands down the smooth valleys of the man's muscles.

Finally getting the wet material off, Steve tossed the heavy denim and practically see-through briefs to the pile and turned to shut off the water and pull the plug, draining the tub. He turned back to TJ, his large member still flaccid, very evident he had no interest in taking advantage of TJ’s weakness. Offering a gentle smile, Steve reached over and stroked TJ’s cheek. “So very beautiful. May not believe me, but you are so much sexier than Bucky. Look so much prettier.” He reached past TJ for a pair of towels.

TJ flushed and ducked his head, pushing into Steve's hand as he did so. He wasn't used to being showered with compliments like Steve kept doing . . . most of his lovers would talk to him like Brock had, even the ones he’d hired for one night stands.

Draping a towel over TJ’s shoulders, Steve wrapped another around the lean hips of the brunet. He grabbed another towel for himself and roughly dried his hair a bit then let the towel drape over his shoulders. Smiling at TJ, Steve scooped the other man up once more and stepped from the tub, not lowering TJ until they moved down the hall and into Steve’s bedroom. He settled TJ on the large comfortable bed, climbing up to kneel, spread legged, in front of TJ. But, despite the almost dominant pose, Steve merely began drying himself off, glancing down and letting TJ do what he would, his member only slightly aroused by then due to friction.

TJ watched Steve with wide eyes; he didn't think it was possible for someone to look any better than Steve, and the fact that Steve was actually a _good guy_ made him almost unbelievable. TJ propped himself up on his forearms to look at the beautiful blond. Steve was incredibly beautiful, almost in an unworldly type of way, whereas Bucky was handsome, charming . . . enticing.

Lifting his eyes, Steve offered TJ a smile. “Either I’m totally enrapturing, or you don’t mind waiting to be dried off?” he chuckled low and reached over, dropping his towel to pool around his own knees. Steve unwrapped TJ’s towel from his hips and began carefully drying the other man. “Like taking care of you, TJ. Feels right,” he murmured, smiling.

TJ hummed in appreciation and offered Steve a small smile. “I like you taking care of me . . .” TJ pushed into whatever touch Steve would give him, showing the other man just how starved for _touch_ he really was.

With a gentle coo of comfort, Steve caressed TJ’s body as he dried him, stroking lightly, offering that needed touch TJ craved. They might be brand new partners, but Steve seemed to be trying to pick up TJ’s cues. Finally, Steve ran the second towel over TJ’s hair, careful of his bruised, cut scalp as he dried. Steve collected the three towels, not in the least shy one on one, and dropped them over the edge of the bed. Spreading his arms, Steve said, “ready. Do what you will with me, pet. I’m all your’s.” His member was becoming aroused but was not yet fully erect or thickened. He was still at that point where many men could ignore the arousal and not suffer from more than a very mild discomfort. Steve had often found himself in such a mild state, in fact, when he’d been with Peggy.

TJ blinked, seeming caught off guard by the offer. In bed, he'd always just done what his partner wanted . . . he had never really been in control of what happened in his sex life. Usually, the men that he would sleep with would simply flip him over and fuck him . . . sometimes they'd be attentive to his pleasure, but most of the time not.

Steve saw the surprise, the hesitation, in TJ. He didn’t retract his offer, didn’t lower his arms. Rather, he waited, his smile softening, eyes gentle as he watched TJ sort through this change of situation. Steve had a deep suspicion about TJ’s sexual past; he knew patience and care was needed to help TJ understand himself. Fortunately, he’d been shown how to go on by Peggy before they’d ended their own relationship six months earlier when Liz came back into Peggy’s life. Steve hoped to God he’d learned enough to guide TJ, too. Hoped he knew enough that he could provide TJ the distraction he so desperately desired.

Slowly, as if he expected Steve to pull away or trick him into a false sense of control, TJ sat up, wincing slightly.

“You can use your voice, too, pet. Tell me what you want,” Steve gently instructed, smiling. “You only have to move if you want to.”

“I don’t . . . I don’t know?” TJ mumbled, looking confused.

Nodding, Steve continued to hold his pose. “TJ? Have you ever been permitted to take charge in bed?” Still offering gentle understanding, Steve watched TJ, knowing the answer already. TJ acted as if he had no right to choices in light of his own revelations and the situation Steve had caught him in earlier that day.

TJ shook his head, watching Steve with wide eyes. His raw and bruised fingers played with the soft comforter below him.

“We’ll start slow then,” Steve offered. “Tell me, pet, what do you want to do right now? Doesn’t matter how far fetched or how impossible it might seem. Just tell me what you’re fantasizing.” Steve still kept his arms spread, hands open and welcoming.

TJ chewed his bottom lip and his pale eyes flashed with nervousness. This had happened a few times, where his partner would ask what he wanted to do, only to laugh at the idea, acting as if TJ were a silly child.

Steve softly said, “I’m not moving until you talk to me, sweetheart, but let me assure you, my arms are beginning to cramp.”

“Cuddle?” TJ said softly, looking even more nervous than before . . . he waited for Steve to laugh at him.

Nodding, Steve instantly lowered his arms and knee-walked over to TJ. He gently pulled TJ against him, encircling the other man in a strong, sure cuddle. Burying his face in TJ’s neck, Steve lowered them both to the bed and sighed.”I love cuddling . . . one of my favorite parts of sex. Glad to know we share a desire.” He didn’t bring attention to his own partial erection, as if it was of no importance. In truth, it wasn’t; Steve would have refused any attempt to _accommodate_ him since TJ was in no shape for anything penetrative or energetic.

TJ slowly let himself relax after a few moments and rested his head against Steve’s firm chest, his legs entwining with the blond’s. He wanted as much contact as possible.

Shifting a bit, Steve managed to get the comforter from under them and tugged it over their entwined bodies. He continued to hold TJ against his nude form, enjoying the sensation of the skin to skin contact. Stroking TJ’s hair, Steve murmured, “in a little while, I’ll get up and make dinner or something, get Luna and feed her and Phil, but we can cuddle afterwards if you still wanna, too.” He kissed TJ’s temple, making no move to pull out of the other man’s arms.

Nodding, TJ hummed in acknowledgement; he turned his head and began to kiss and nip at Steve’s collarbone, sucking gently at the sensitive skin. His hands trailed down Steve’s fit chest, enjoying the feeling of the other man’s smooth skin. He didn’t dip his hand below the waist, for now simply enjoying _feeling_ the other man. He tried to push down the nervousness . . . the _despair_ he felt over moving out of Bucky’s apartment. But, if TJ wanted any hope of moving past his _infatuation_ with his twin . . . he needed to put some distance between them.

Steve hummed in contentment, burying his face in TJ’s neck. “Love how you fit my arms, sweetheart,” he purred softly. He could feel his erection lessening and didn’t regret the temporary loss; TJ would feel less pressure if Steve’s body behaved.

TJ keened and rubbed his cheek against Steve’s skin, “how can you be this perfect?” TJ asked, wonder, with a little disbelief, lacing his tone.

“Not perfect,” Steve said with a soft chuckle. “Just like to think I know how to treat my boyfriend right?” He kissed TJ’s neck again. “You deserve to be treated good, pet. Anyone else was a selfish fool, I think, or a downright bastard.”

“That’s debatable,” TJ murmured softly, kissing Steve’s skin once more, “but I’m happy you think so . . . you’re gonna spoil me.”

“That’s the idea,” Steve chuckled low. After long moments of kisses and cuddles, caresses and love talk, Steve finally lifted his face and smiled at TJ. “pet, wanna ask a few things, get to know each other?”

“M’kay,” TJ looked up at Steve, “you first.”

Nodding, Steve asked, “when you came out, who was the first person you told?”

“My brother Dougie . . . we were real close growing up,” TJ answered with a soft smile, “he said he’d known for years!”

“Isn’t he born the same day as you and Bucky? Kind of like triplets?” Steve kissed TJ’s temple.

Laughing softly, TJ nodded, “yeah, we all share the same birthday. Bucky’s only met him a few times . . . out of everyone, Doug is who I miss the most . . . well, and Nana.” 

“You can always ask him to visit, if you want, TJ. You’re allowed guests and normal relationships, just no wild parties.” Steve stroked lightly down TJ’s arm. “When did you know you like men?”

“I don’t know if there was ever a single moment where I went, _‘hey, I like guys’_ . . . I think I’ve always kinda known . . . but I found out that I didn’t like girls when I was fourteen. There was this girl in my class, Lisa Mullins . . . really nice. She was, like, easily the prettiest girl in my grade. After school one day . . . she told me she liked me . . . we kissed and there was nothing there . . . I wasn’t interested in kissing her.” TJ shrugged one shoulder.

Steve nodded. “I’ve always thought I was asexual, TJ.” He kept his voice light, conversational.

“Asexual? Like . . . you don’t feel any . . . uh - - sexual attraction?” TJ asked. “Bucky said you were bi?”

“I’ve had sex with . . . uh . . . men and women. Gender, or even gender identity, doesn’t bother me. But I never felt that sexual interest that most people talk about. Not until you, oddly enough.” Steve sighed and stroked TJ’s shoulder very lightly. “So, I guess I’m what you’d consider pan-romantic gray-asexual?” He given the subject much thought over the past week.

“You’re gonna have to explain that to me . . .” TJ looked confused by the new term.

“Pan-romantic means I can fall in love with anyone doesn’t matter gender or sexual identity. I haven't, but I can. I’m not anti-anyone that way. But being gray-asexual means I am asexual except for a very rare instance or person which sparked sexual interest in me. I have been sexual for years, but . . . actually, unlike many asexuals, I usually need medicine to become aroused? That has to do with my long and very sick childhood.” Steve shook his head.

“B - - but . . . that first night? Uh . . . I didn’t see - - did you take something?” TJ frowned softly, looking confused.

“No,” Steve smiled at TJ. “And it stunned me a bit, too, but I don’t always need medicine. With you, I find I don’t seem to need it at all. I’ve always had problems with sensations, but the doctors assured me I’d grow out of it or it was in my head. Didn’t stop them from assigning me erectile medicine when I asked since I had trouble in that department. I’m a fairly odd case, I understand. It’s nothing to do with my sexual nature just my _physical_ nerves.”

“Oh,” TJ nodded, looking thoughtful. He rested his head back on Steve’s chest.

Whispering, Steve said, “so, seeing as how I’m so unusual in my sexual interests, I can’t blame anyone else for theirs, can I?” He kissed TJ’s temple.

“You ever want to have sex with your brother?” TJ asked softly, not lifting his head.

Laughing gently, Steve said, “I’m an only child and don’t have any cousins, so that’s not a fair question.”

Humming softly, TJ asked, “Why . . . why have you felt that you needed to hide who you are, Steve?”

Drawing a deep breath, Steve let it out slowly, “the fact that I’m sexually active but not interested in others sexually or the fact that I could fall in love with anyone, no matter gender or identity?”

“Were you in love with Bucky?” TJ asked carefully, softly, not lifting his head.

“Not exactly. We were in high school and I was desperate to feel what everyone else claimed they were feeling. But kids tend to think love and sex are the same thing. I didn’t feel either, though I felt close to Bucky. I loved him without being _in love_ with him.” Steve looked down at TJ.

“Did you two ever . . . try anything?” TJ questioned, curious.

Shaking his head, Steve caressed lightly down TJ’s side. “No. Never asked him to. I told him I didn’t think I’d mind sleeping with guys, and he told me directly that he wasn’t interested in that kind of thing. We had a rocky few weeks then our friendship settled again, but I never pushed. I didn’t want to lose Bucky over a stupid desire to experience sex.” Looking down at TJ, Steve smiled softly, but his eyes showed his pain. “And college was barely better. I found a few guys and girls I could experiment with, but I wanted long term romance, not fooling around, and I didn’t feel particularly excited by any of them. And not everyone was understanding of gay sex or of my erectile dysfunction. I . . .” he paused to consider talking about the next stage of his life, but pulled back at the painful memories, the utter horror of that time. Instead he skipped ahead. “I got the job at the academy and it became even clearer that my preferences weren’t accepted mainstream. The teacher I replaced was fired for some kind of charge concerning overworking the kids. He was gay. My first day of class, one of the students loudly said, _‘great, we got rid of the fag. Now we can really learn something.’_ I learned quickly that I still had to keep my mouth shut no matter what I felt.”

“But . . . that’s not right! They can’t discriminate against you because of your sexual preference!” TJ exclaimed, shaking his head. He didn’t want to think of the way the faculty or students would think of him after news of the attack got out.

“Yeah, we both know that, but the Admin is always willing to listen to their parents. If the students don’t like you, they report you to their parents for whatever reason. The parents harass the Admin, and you get fired, either on trumped up charges or something minor blown out of proportion. I’ve seen three others get fired in my years there. Peggy was one of them.”

“Why don’t you look for somewhere else to work? I’m sure there are other schools . . .” TJ just couldn’t wrap his head around it . . . he’d heard his fair share of slurs and prejudice while growing up in the White House, but how the academy was run was ridiculous.

Sighing, Steve stroked his fingers lightly over TJ’s side and flank. “Because I love teaching there? The students like me and really work hard. They seem to want to learn, and I love that. Besides the benefits and money are great. It’s a choice job.” He looked at TJ. “People are used to me there and don’t ask questions, don’t try to invade my privacy? I can . . . I can be me, sort of, without feeling like I’m always being scrutinized?” Steve didn’t know how to explain that after his too brief stint in the Army, the only people willing to hire a broken, emotionally crippled coward had been the Brooklyn Academy of Learning.

TJ shook his head, placing another kiss on Steve’s collarbone.

“Besides,” Steve whispered softly, dragging himself from the horror that threatened yet again, “I think I’d have to go through this anywhere I worked. It’s been like that my whole life. I’ve actually seen gay people treated with better respect than bi or pan, you know? As if they don’t respect _us_ because we don’t choose _one_. Like they think we can’t make up our minds or something.”

Nodding, TJ dropped another kiss to Steve’s skin, “yeah, I know. It’s stupid . . . people are idiots . . . but . . .” TJ sighed and looked up at Steve, “living in hiding will kill you, Steve. Trust me, I know . . . I know it’s scary . . . but it’s worth it. To be able to be who you are freely?”

Steve shook his head; living in hiding was saving his life. Someone finding out had been what nearly killed him. Unable to bring himself to dredge that up, go through the inevitable questions, misunderstanding, ridicule, Steve said, “but I wouldn’t be free to live my life, TJ. I’d be persecuted like I have been. This is the first time I’ve been treated like I mean something, like I’m worth something. I have to keep my personal life personal, and . . . maybe that’s not so bad. It’s none of their business . . .”

“I’m not saying shout your sexuality from the rooftops and kiss me in front of all the students, Steve . . . I’m just saying that it shouldn’t matter . . . I’ve seen what hiding does to someone . . . it’s ugly and lonely and miserable,” TJ tried to explain to Steve, tried to explain how his last relationship that involved hiding and secrets ended up blowing up in TJ’s face . . . nearly killing him.

On a sigh, Steve said, “you sound like Peggy. She was always pushing me to stop hiding.” He stroked TJ’s drying curls.

“Sounds like a smart woman,” TJ said softly.

Chuckling nervously, Steve looked down at his new boyfriend. “Yeah, she is, actually.” He stroked again, gently untangling a snarl. “TJ?” He kept his tone gentle, interested but not urgent, “ever tried bondage?” Steve deliberately changed the subject to distract from the too personal, uncomfortable slant of the conversation he had started himself.

Stunned by the change of subject, TJ nodded, “sure, I’ve had a few boyfriends that liked the kinky shit. It’s great if the person knows how to tie the knots and not make the ropes too tight.” TJ looked up at Steve.

Nodding, Steve stroked again, tone light as he asked, “are you a sub?”

“Yeah,” TJ nodded, “being in charge makes me nervous . . . I like when people take control, use me . . .” TJ winced at how the words sounding coming out of his mouth . . . technically, that was exactly what Brock had just done.

Steve offered him a smile. “Well, at least you’re aware of it. I thought maybe you didn’t know you were a sub.”

“Why would you think that?” TJ asked, not offended or angry, just curious.

“Because when Brock attacked you, you apologized. You’re the victim, but acted like _you’d_ done something wrong. I thought maybe you were so used to being used but didn’t realize why you let men do that to you.” Steve met TJ’s eyes, hand stilling in the brunet locks. “Not that you _let_ Brock do anything.”

“I _did_ do something wrong, Steve,” TJ said, sitting up slowly, “I could’ve fought harder . . . screamed louder. There were people still in that building - -”

“No, there weren’t,” Steve corrected. He lifted one of TJ’s hands to display the injuries. “I heard your screams and came running, actually, texted Bucky as I ran. And this looks like you fought hard, baby. He was holding you down, hard if the bruises are any indicator, and you were in a defenseless position. You did _nothing_ wrong, TJ.”

“But . . . I should’ve been able to get him off me . . . he just - - he kept saying things about me and Bucky . . . I panicked . . .” TJ took his hand from Steve and wrapped his arms around his torso.

“I know what that’s like,” Steve’s voice came so softly it was barely a whisper.

“What, what’s like, Steve?” TJ asked, looking over at the large blond.

Clearing his throat, Steve said, “panic. I know what it’s like to panic.”

“You - - you have anxiety, or something? I - - I noticed how you froze when . . .” TJ’s voice trailed off, not letting himself finish that sentence.

Flushing, dipping his head, Steve strained to say, “I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I get panic attacks sometimes, nightmares, and even strong guilty feelings.”

“Wh - - what happened?” TJ looked at Steve, pale eyes worried.

Misery exuded from Steve as he seemed to shrink in on himself. “I don’t actually . . . never . . . to anyone . . . I,” his broken speech and guilty, anguished tone seemed to grow as his physical form twisted, arms pulling from around his new boyfriend to hug himself, much like TJ had. The feeling of being _dirty_ started to return once more, nothing like TJ’s case.

“You don’t have to tell me,” TJ nodded, accepting that Steve wasn’t ready to share what had hurt him so bad. “Just know, that when you are ready . . . I’ll listen.”

Nodding, Steve threw TJ a grateful look. His voice stayed whisper soft as he said, “I’m not allowed to tell, but thank you.”

“Not allowed?” TJ mused but then shook his head, figuring Steve probably had a non-disclosure agreement or something. Thinking it over, TJ wondered if it was because of a non-disclosure agreement that Steve wasn’t able to come out.

Clearing his throat, Steve tried to change the subject yet again. “You need someone willing to care for you, help you - - not hurt you. Treat you good.” Steve began stroking again. “You need someone who will back off if you need it and go on if you need _that_. Someone who can tell the difference.”

Swallowing thickly, accepting the change in topic, TJ nodded, his eyes slowly lifting to look up at Steve, “I’m needy, Steve . . . before we let this go on any further . . . I - - I need touch . . . it - - it grounds me.”

“Are you a nymphomaniac, TJ?” Steve asked, all seriousness. “Are you addicted to sex?”

Flushing bright red, TJ’s eyes fell again and he chewed his bottom lip.

Cupping TJ’s face, Steve said gently, “or are you addicted to human contact, pet? Do you need touching more than sex?”

Nodding, TJ’s pale eyes flickered up to look at Steve, “it doesn’t need to be sex . . . I mean, sex is great . . . I enjoy it . . . but cuddling or simply just _feeling_ someone touching me works too.”

Steve smiled gently, encouragingly. “And so, you went without touch long enough that when Bucky touched you, it may have triggered a sexual reaction? Does that make sense? Am I reading that wrong?”

“I don’t know . . . what - -” TJ shook his head, looking guilty and embarrassed, “no, you don’t need to hear that . . . I’m sorry.”

Stroking TJ’s face in strong fingers, Steve leaned over and caresses his full lips over TJ’s. “Well, when _you_ feel like talking about it, I’ll be here, too. And if you need to touch, I’m here, pet. Anytime. I’ll even work on . . . on trying to come out, if you help me?” It was a big concession and Steve fought the sudden well of fear once more, though his blue eyes filled with it; he wanted to be there for TJ . . . and being closeted wasn’t going to help TJ if he needed a hug in public. Steve swallowed convulsively; he’d learned the hard way to keep his private life private . . . but TJ . . . TJ needed him to be brave for him.

TJ smiled softly, pain in his eyes, “I’ll help you in whatever way I can, Steve.”

Jumping to clarify, Steve said, “I’m not gonna be able to right away, TJ. I’ve . . . I’ve gotta work up to it?” He feared it might take months, even years to get up enough guts to be able to do what TJ needed. Steve felt guilt well at making such a promise that he’d try, as if he thought he could succeed.

“I know,” TJ nodded, “and I’m not expecting you to come out tomorrow. I’ve had experience in waiting.”

Nodding, Steve touched foreheads with his boyfriend, taking several deep, calming breaths. “Maybe,” he paused and took a shaking breath, “maybe we can start by . . . by me telling Bucky and Nat that we’re dating?” Steve’s large frame trembled at the idea of even coming out to his best friend, despite Bucky’s long time knowledge of Steve’s preferences. He knew Bucky wouldn’t hurt him; Natasha wouldn’t tell on him.

“We go at your pace, Steve, I don’t want you to feel forced to come out . . .” TJ kissed Steve, “did you know . . . I didn’t choose to come out at fifteen?”

Blinking, Steve met his eyes. “But . . . it was even televised. You stood there and smiled as your mother proudly announced you . . .”

“My _Mom_ came out for me. I didn’t have a choice . . . it was a ploy to get more of the radical liberals to sympathize with my Dad,” TJ explained softly, hoping that maybe once Steve heard that TJ didn’t _choose_ to come out, he’d feel a little better about himself.

Shocked by the unexpected revelation, Steve whispered, “but she _sounded_ so proud of you, TJ. I thought it was a family thing? That they were being supportive . . . lots of us thought you were a role model for your courage.” Steve flushed at the jealousy he’d always privately harbored towards the confident politician’s kid for his courage and the protection having a White House family had appeared to offer him; Steve had always assumed that no one would dare treat TJ like Steve had been.

“I have never been courageous once in my life, Steve,” TJ answered on a sigh, “I’ve done what people tell me. What to wear. What to eat.”

“Who to sleep with?” Steve frowned, worried that maybe TJ wasn’t happy with being gay, even if he didn’t like kissing women. It was entirely possible that TJ was on the Ace spectrum, too. He’d already admitted to preferring cuddles over sex.

“No, that is one thing I always had a choice of. I always picked grade-A assholes, but they were my choices,” TJ answered, seeing the worry flicker through Steve’s eyes.

Nodding, Steve kissed TJ softly again. “Well, this asshole is flattered and humbled you chose him.”

Snorting, TJ grinned and kissed Steve, “maybe this time I didn’t pick an asshole.”

Steve smiled against TJ’s lips and hummed softly. “Well, I certainly didn’t pick the asshole this time, either.” A flush crossed his features for the inadvertent slip. Steve caressed his fingers over TJ’s cheekbones. “TJ? Do you really prefer bottom? I don’t want you to think I only wanna top if you like topping. I’ve never topped a man before.”

“I’ve topped a few times . . . didn’t really like it much . . . but if it’d make you more comfortable, I’d top,” TJ answered.

Steve chuckled low. “Oh, I’ve topped women, TJ. I like topping. I just . . . don’t want this to be bad between us. I don’t mind being bottom. But . . . I do prefer top? I feel more that way.”

“Good,” TJ smirked and said, “that way when I feel better . . . I will be able to feel you in me . . .”

Groaning softly at the decadent idea, Steve nodded. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to you healing, pet. But before that happens, we should set our boundaries, safewords, that kind of thing?” Steve pulled TJ closer a bit, settling the brunet in his arms again. He nuzzled TJ’s neck.

“No choking or knifeplay,” TJ said firmly.

“Knife play?” Steve’s voice sounded as pale as his skin suddenly turned. “Uh . . . I’ve never really been into pain play. I know I like to take charge, but never went further than that.”

“Do you want to go further? Spanking is fine . . . if you want to try it, that is,” TJ offered softly.

Slowly, Steve considered the idea then nodded, watching TJ. “Okay, but nothing deadly or bloody, right? I’m willing to learn, to explore, but I draw the line at leaving permanent injuries!” He forcefully pushed away the memory of that night that had changed his life forever.

“Of course,” TJ nodded, “also . . . uh - - if you could . . .” the brunet flushed and ducked his head.

“No, TJ, this conversation we face each other. I want to know you and I both understand what we want.” Steve firmly spoke but gently tilted the other man’s face back up, meeting his pale eyes. “If I don’t want to do something, I’ll let you know, and we compromise, right? You don’t do what you aren’t comfortable with, either.”

Nodding, TJ said, “I don’t like derogatory names . . . I like the sweet ones you use but . . .”

“Okay, so foul language is out?” Steve sounded perfectly accepting of that. “Because I can go either way with that.”

“Not out completely . . . just . . . I don’t wanna be called slut or bitch,” TJ murmured, looking unsure and worried.

“Or anything else demeaning? Okay, that’s fine with me. I’d rather call you how I see you. And if I use a word that makes you uncomfortable, you’ll tell me instantly. Stop me and tell me, right? I want to be clear with you.” Steve offered his smile.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you,” TJ nodded, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Baby, pet, and sweetheart are really okay?” Steve asked.

Smiling softly, TJ nodded, “yeah . . . and I - - uh . . . I really liked it when you called me your _good boy_.”

Smile growing, Steve nodded. “Good, liked calling you that. Because you _are_ my beautiful, good boy, TJ. I hope we can have a long loving relationship.” He stroked his fingers lightly down TJ’s spine, vertebrae by vertebrae, careful over the bruising. “And I want you to show me how to please you, pet. I never spanked anyone, so need to add that to our lessons along with how to open you up right for me. I’m kinda big . . . really want you comfortable so I don’t hurt you when I fill you.” Steve dropped a kiss to the tip of TJ’s nose and backed off a bit so he could keep TJ’s eyes locked with his.

TJ smiled, humming softly as he rubbed against Steve’s chest; looking back up at the blond, TJ nodded, “you _are_ big, but don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to stretch me right.”

Steve kissed TJ lingeringly for a moment before pulling away slowly. “Let’s go get Luna and feed the critters then get something to eat, pet. We’ve got all night to cuddle. Tomorrow I can walk back to class with you and pick up whatever you left behind?” He stroked TJ’s curls again.

“Sounds good,” TJ agreed, once again he had to shove away the ache in his chest at the reminder that within a few minutes he’d be separated from his twin. For the last two weeks, he and Bucky had been pretty inseparable . . . he’d gotten so close to his brother. Even though they were only going to be separated by one floor, to TJ, that much distance felt like worlds away.

Steve asked, “You want me to meet you after school and during rest periods?” Steve stretched as he sat up, worried he pushed too far too quickly. Sometimes there was such a thing as taking too much control to help someone else. Rising to his feet, Steve held out his hands, “hungry, sweetheart?”

TJ nodded, nuzzling the pillow that Steve had just gotten off of; he looked over at his boyfriend, “need help with anything?” The brunet shifted and began to sit up.

“Yeah, pet . . .” Steve chuckled, “need help keeping my hands off you long enough to get us all fed. I was thinking on making some salads with grilled chicken tonight?” Totally nude, Steve scooped up the towels and headed towards the bathroom to get the discarded clothes, too.

A soft whine sounded from just outside the bedroom door and a paw scratched at the door.

TJ slowly slipped out of the bed, his muscles aching as he rose to his full height. He knew he’d be sore for at least a week; Brock had really messed him up. The brunet walked over to the door and opened it, smiling down at Phil. “Hey, boy,” TJ crooned, beginning to bend down to pet the dog.

“Don’t you reopen those injuries, baby,” Steve cautioned with a smile. He walked past and deliberately stroked a strong hand over the curve of TJ’s spine, avoiding the deep bruises on his hips and ass. Still nude, the large blond headed out to the kitchen and began working on dinner. Apparently, he took their new relationship to mean he was allowed to touch TJ any time as well as to show himself off if he wanted. He certainly wasn’t as shy one-on-one as Bucky had warned TJ when the musician had considered moving in.

Straightening back up with a small wince, TJ walked into Steve’s room to grab a pair of sweatpants. He tugged them on carefully before heading back out to the main living area, the bruising on his abdomen and back clearly visible.

Turning, Steve’s smile lessened and he looked a bit unsure. “Um . . . is this okay?” He flushed red. “I can get dressed if you want?” Steve held a package of raw chicken in one hand and a skillet in the other. He had to go get TJ’s stuff, and kitten, from Bucky’s, too - - not that he minded TJ wearing his clothes.

Smiling softly, TJ made sure that Steve could see his eyes rove over the blond’s built form, “oh, it’s fine by me. I was just . . .” TJ looked down at his clothed legs and shrugged, “I like these sweats? They’re soft.”

Laughing, relief crossing his almost pretty features, Steve shook his head. “TJ, if you wanna wear clothes, don’t let me stop you. It’s your home, too. You should be comfortable. If it makes you feel better, I can get dressed, too. Just want you to know, whatever makes you happy. Even dressed, can I still touch you?”

“You can touch me whenever you want, Steve,” TJ smiled and stepped closer to the blond, “I’m your’s to touch now.” Once again, TJ ignored the feeling of heartache . . . of betraying Bucky, even though his and Bucky’s relationship hadn’t progressed past kissing and caresses . . . TJ still felt _bonded_ with his twin in ways he couldn’t explain.

Eyes lighting up, Steve leaned in to brush a kiss over TJ’s lips. “I love the idea of being yours to touch, too, pet.” Steve turned back to the counter and put his stuff down, went to pull an apron protectively over his pelvis then washed his hands before beginning to work with the chicken. “Wanna feed Phil?” He asked, turning his head. “We can get Luna in a moment.”

The puppy whined.

TJ carefully knelt down and scratched Phil behind the ears. TJ stood back up and fed the puppy; everything took him longer to do because of his injuries.

Smiling over at TJ, not warning him again to be careful, because TJ was a grown man and could tell his own limits without Steve hovering, the blond turned and moved the chicken he’d cut into strips onto his frying pan, beginning to cook them thoroughly. He might be fairly helpless in the kitchen, but he knew how to grill meat properly. “How have classes been, pet?” Steve asked.

“They’ve been pretty good,” TJ nodded, walking into the small kitchenette, “Peggy had the first month planned out . . . pretty much day by day but she left a couple options for the following months. That’s the reason I went back to the classroom: I’d forgotten the folder with all her lesson plans.”

Laughing, Steve nodded. “Yeah. Over organized sometimes. So, you’ve got two more weeks of lesson plans to use if you want them?” He continually made certain he wasn’t burning the meat. “We can go get those tomorrow for you.”

TJ nodded, “yeah . . . I was meaning to look them over this weekend . . .” he rubbed the back of his neck.

Steve glanced over, face turning serious, and back down at the meat. Without pinning TJ with his blue gaze, Steve gently said, “if you’re expecting me to deride you for your attraction to Bucky, it’s not gonna happen, TJ. I don’t pretend to know how your relationships in the past worked, but we’re starting fresh. You and me.”

Flushing, TJ nodded and dropped his hand to fiddle with the soft fabric of his pants.

“You wanna talk about him, or anyone else, I’ll certainly listen and work it through with you,” Steve looked over again and offered his sweet smile, “but as far as I’m concerned? Society isn’t important. Love is, and you and me are.”

“How . . . how can you not care?” TJ asked softly, he still didn’t believe that Steve could be so accepting of TJ’s love for his own brother.

Freezing, Steve moved the meat from the heat. “Is that what you think, baby? That I don’t care?” He walked over and cupped TJ’s face, meeting his eyes. “I _do_ care, but I’m not holding it against you. You’re a grown man who makes choices. Its part of being free. Sometimes the choices turn out not so good. I’m not gonna pretend I’m not a bit surprised by it, but I’m not disgusted. I’m not gonna abuse _you_ for needing loving and thinking about getting it with someone you think can give it to you. And that would be your right, too. TJ, I care about _you_ , not your past or your lovers or your hidden desires. Neither of us is untouched. That’s a ridiculous assumption, so I’m not gonna pretend I expect it. We both seem to have our own proclivities that society holds in contempt.” He kissed TJ carefully, smiling against his full lips. “If you want something in the future, you let me know. I want you to feel I can give it to you and take care of you. You don’t need to seek anyone else out unless you choose to, okay? And you can feel free to discuss your desires with me without feeling shame.” Nuzzling at TJ’s jaw, Steve whispered, “but I really do care. I care you were hurt and used. I care that I didn’t find a way to help you sooner and you wound up in that situation. I care that people haven’t treated you with respect and love in the past. I care that society has made you ashamed of your love and desire for someone you and I both know would treat you right. So, yeah, TJ, I really _do_ care.”

TJ swallowed hard and wrapped his arms around Steve, nestling against the blond’s firm chest.

“And I refuse to punish you for making choices, bad or good, baby.” Steve slipped his arms securely around the lean brunet, burying his face in TJ’s neck, drawing in a deep breath.

“How . . .” TJ shook his head, breathing in Steve’s scent. He loved the feeling of Steve’s strong arms around him . . . they made him feel safe, secure, made him temporarily forget about Bucky. “This . . . this is good . . .”

Smiling, Steve nodded. He hugged tightly. “Yeah, I like this, too, sweetheart.” Sliding a hand under TJ’s chin, Steve lifted his face. “And if you wanna ask about my past, I’ll try my best to answer you so you can understand me better, pet. I want us to feel we can be open and honest, without having to pay over and over for past mistakes . . . or even for past happiness.” He wasn’t sure how well he could answer any questions about his military life, but Steve vowed he would try.

TJ pulled away slightly, suddenly looking unsure, if not a little scared. “That’s . . . uh - - I . . . I’ve made a lot of bad choices, Steve . . .”

Shaking his head, Steve softly said, “think about it, baby. You don’t have to open up completely right now. I plan to be in this for the long haul, so we got time, right?” He caressed TJ’s neck and shoulder, enjoying the soft skin. “So, you know that I know about one of your choices. You know I won’t judge you for it. Is that good for now? No pressure to talk?”

Releasing a deep breath, TJ nodded, “and . . . you - - you won’t tell Bucky . . . will you?”

Literal shock coursed through Steve and his eyes widened as he froze, stiffening. “Tell? My God, TJ, no! It’s no one’s business but yours, whether you volunteer to tell me or not. Anything you tell me, it’s my honor to keep safe and secure for you. Pet,” he cupped TJ’s face again and searched his eyes, “you could have tied the pope to the bed and had raunchy sex with him over the entire summer and I’d never tell! It’s not my confession to give, and certainly only your business and whoever you were with.”

Nodding, looking relieved, TJ hugged Steve again, his smaller body fitting almost perfectly against the tall blond.

“So, is it okay for me to cuddle you when I feel insecure?” Steve asked softly, nervous still that TJ thought maybe Steve would be advertising his business behind his back. He couldn’t help but worry just what kind of men TJ had found himself with that trust was such a precious commodity . . . that it wasn’t automatic. Steve swore that he would treat TJ better than that . . . would show him how much he was worth respect and love. And maybe, even if he felt desperate, TJ wouldn’t feel the need to give himself over to some asshole just for a little human contact.

“You can cuddle me whenever you want,” TJ murmured against Steve’s skin, nuzzling and brushing his lips against the crook of his boyfriend’s neck.

Softly, shoulders shaking, Steve chuckled. “I suddenly feel totally sympathetic to poor Phil and Luna. Phil must get so insecure and lonely he just wants to carry his new best friend everywhere. And Luna lets him.” Steve smiled down at TJ.

TJ laughed, not stopping his nuzzling. Trying to forget about all the negative emotions swarming inside of him. He knew, if given the choice, he’d stay with his brother, but that wasn’t fair to Bucky or to Natasha.

Still chuckling, Steve grasped TJ’s hand and kissed his palm, curling the fingers around the kiss. He lifted TJ’s hand up and spun himself a bit so that TJ wound up spooning Steve from behind. “Gotta get that meat cooked, pet. Wanna hold me, feel free, but I am _hungry_.” He moved to the stove, slowly enough TJ could move with him if he desired, and began cooking the chicken once more, his ass very visibly in the gap of his apron.

Humming in appreciation, TJ continued to hold his boyfriend; willing away the unnatural heartache that he felt.

Humming softly to a tune in his head, Steve moved slowly and deliberately, letting TJ synch with him. He enjoyed the cuddling closeness, had always been a cuddler in fact, and never wanted the moment to stop. He actually missed the sound of a key in the lock, so when the front door opened to the only other person who had his apartment key, Steve was taken completely off guard, dressed only in an apron, ass hanging out, his member semi-erect, and his strong body held in TJ’s arms.

“Well, would ya look at that?” Natasha mused with a smirk for her husband, a small grey fluffball held in one arm.

Bucky grinned back and nodded, quickly ushering his wife inside the apartment rather than away and shutting the door, slipping TJ’s duffle to the floor. “And I thought Steve was a slow mover . . .” Bucky had to push down the sudden jealousy of seeing TJ and Steve embraced so decadently.

TJ stepped back with a flush; he knew this probably wasn’t the way Steve wanted Bucky and Natasha to find out about their relationship. His eyes locked on his twin, fighting the urge to run over to Bucky and kiss him . . . to have his brother tell him it was going to be okay . . . that he loved him.

Flushing bright red, trailing down over his neck, shoulders, and chest, Steve froze and opened and closed his mouth several times. Finally, he gasped out, “TJ’s my boyfriend . . .” He reached for a dish towel to try to hide his firm ass behind.

“I can see that,” Natasha continued to smirk, her eyes traveled to Bucky’s twin and then narrowed when she saw bruises adorning the brunet’s hips from where his pants hung low; she could even see the faint lines of purple bruising on the low curve of TJ’s spine, where his ass began. She had always been very observant and she could tell by the way TJ was shifting, despite his overall embarrassed posture, that the lanky brunet was very much in pain after Brock’s assault. Though, she was slightly relieved that Steve and TJ had gotten together . . . maybe her and Bucky’s relationship could go back to how it was before TJ moved in.

Bucky nodded. “He better be, Steve. If I think you’re taking advantage of my brother, I’ll have to meet you in the back alley.” Sinking onto a stool at the island, Bucky didn’t hesitate to continue embarrassing his best friend and twin in an effort to ease over the assault as well as his own sexual deviance. He grinned weakly. “So, how long has this been going on behind our backs, TJ?” he teased lightly. He hadn’t really glanced over at his brother yet, too afraid of his own body’s reaction.

Steve held up both hands, towel still clutched in one. “We, uh, just started . . . being a couple tonight?” Steve tried to sidle from the kitchen towards his room, wanting to get some clothes on, cover his nakedness, fighting the fear that rose with any exposure.

TJ stood in the kitchen; he watched as Steve attempted to make a get away. He knew Steve was nervous . . . scared about sharing his sexuality, even with Bucky, who’d known for years.

Nodding, Bucky turned his head to look at TJ, letting Steve escape. As the blond hurried into his room, Bucky’s small smile dropped away and his light grey-blue eyes narrowed, taking in the deep bruising. Bucky stood and walked over to his twin. “I’ll kill the fucker!” Real anger and disbelief ranged through Bucky’s tones.

Flushing bright red, TJ looked at his twin, pale eyes brimming with tears.

Bucky stopped directly in front of TJ and reached out, grabbing his shoulders firmly, even using his weaker, slightly twisted left hand. He moved his twin around so he could get a better look at the bruising, carefully pulling out the elastic waistband of the sweatpants to get a look. “Damn, TJ! You better be pressing charges!” Bucky’s worried eyes met TJ’s.

Squirming as Bucky pulled at the waistband of his sweats, tears falling down his cheeks, TJ couldn’t stop himself as he wrapped his arms around his twin, his fingers clutching at the fabric of his brother’s shirt, despite the pain the gripping caused. “I - - I’m sorry . . .”

“Sorry?” Bucky shook his head, letting the waistband gently go and pulling TJ into a tight hug, throwing a glare towards the bedroom, “you got nothing to be _sorry_ for, TJ! I shoulda warned you that political animals don’t just live in DC!” Bucky hugged him carefully the second time. “I could taken you clubbing if you wanted, introduced you to some nice guys . . .” He didn’t want to, though. Bucky wanted TJ for himself. Without even thinking, Bucky dropped a kiss to TJ’s neck and whispered, “it’ll be okay, TJ, love. I’m here.”

“I - - I don’t want to l - - leave . . . “ TJ’s chest heaved and he looked panicked, another sob echoing through the apartment. “I wanna stay w - - with you!”

As if on silent cue, Steve stepped from his room dressed in boxer-briefs and his bathrobe, tied securely shut. He saw the embrace, the small kisses, and knew instantly that TJ wasn’t the only one to harbor what most people would think of as an obscene desire. Steve headed directly over to TJ, ignoring Bucky’s embrace in favor of caring for his fragile boyfriend. “TJ, remember? We talked about this?” He gently reminded TJ. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to . . . and your feelings are your own business, not our’s, right?” He reached over to touch TJ’s other shoulder, meeting his eyes, ignoring as Bucky dropped his arms with a fierce frown.

“H - - he should . . . I . . .” TJ’s eyes flickered from his boyfriend’s to his brother’s. He hugged himself, raw, aching fingers clutching at his skin, some blood smearing against his pale flesh.

Bucky shook his head and looked desperately at his wife, eyes pleading for her to change their decision, even if he knew it was better this way. He felt too strongly, too . . . abnormally for his older twin.

Natasha sighed; setting down the kitten, she met her husband’s eyes and then looked at Steve, “Steve . . . you mind if I talk to you for a minute?”

“We’ll be right back guys. Make sure the chicken doesn’t burn.” Steve followed Natasha to his bedroom, running a hand over the back of his neck.

Natasha let Steve step in first before shutting the door behind her, “what the hell are we going to do?” She asked, shaking her head and looking slightly overwhelmed.

“About Brock? Or about TJ’s feelings?” Steve asked, softly, not wanting to be overheard.

“Both? And it’s not just TJ’s feelings Steve . . . it’s been like this since TJ moved in two weeks ago,” Natasha answered just as softly.

“Bucky’s just as sexually interested as TJ,” Steve confirmed his understanding. He didn’t sound disapproving, just worried. Sighing he looked at Natasha. “I know you love Bucky, Natasha, even if you eloped with him in a panic over Brock’s attack. This has to be hard for you.”

Sighing, Natasha leaned against the wall, “how they look at each other . . .” she lifted her head to look at Steve, “he’s never looked at me like that . . . they’re brothers, Steve.”

“Time was when it was perfectly acceptable for siblings to marry and raise families together, Natasha.” Steve ran his hand down his neck again.

“So, what, we let them . . .” Natasha drawled, “be together? If they keep seeing one another . . . that’s how it’s going to end, Steve.”

“I’m the wrong one to approach on this, Natasha. I actually support them as a couple.” Steve shrugged and looked a bit sheepish. “I’ve got no problem with two consenting adults being together. But I can see how you’re upset since it _is_ your husband . . .”

“It’s not that . . . I don’t _disapprove_ . . .” Natasha sighed, looking like she was struggling for the right words.

“But if others find out . . .” Steve supplied.

“They’d _both_ get hurt, Steve,” Natasha continued, “people wouldn’t understand.”

“I’ll try to keep TJ occupied then,” Steve offered. “He’s already agreed to move in and be my boyfriend.”

“And what . . . they’ll both be miserable?” Natasha shook her head, looking unhappy.

“Well,” Steve sighed, “if they really want to have sex, Natasha, the best we can do is provide them a safe haven and a private place to indulge. But, TJ feels guilty even if he wants it. So, if we want to take that guilt away, we’d have to find a way to make it acceptable, as well, to them. Perhaps a group sex thing that winds up in those two together?” Steve couldn’t believe he was really plotting to get Bucky and his twin together sexually, but he really had meant it when he told Natasha it didn’t bother him in the least that they were brothers.

“So . . . we trick them into sleeping together the first time and then . . . be supportive after it happens?” Natasha mused with a small nod.

“And it might just purge the desire completely, too. Sometimes forbidden fruit isn’t so sweet when it’s no longer forbidden?” Steve shrugged. “But definitely be supportive afterwards. What if the desire doesn’t go away, after all. Would we forbid future sex?” He shook his head, showing his disagreement with the statement.

Sighing, Natasha pushed off the wall and looked at Steve, “Bucky’s been . . . happier since TJ’s moved back. Sure, there’s been a bit of a strain on our relationship . . . but maybe - - if after they sleep together and still want to be together . . . maybe there will be another way that leaves all of us happy?”

“I’ll think of a way, Natasha. I’m sure there’s something we can do to keep them happy but not lose out in the end. I know Bucky loves you.” Steve sighed and reached for his doorknob. “At least I can help TJ over this rape while the two work on trying to ignore each other. By the time TJ’s healed, they’ll be more than ready to participate in an orgy and wind up with one another.”

“Right,” Natasha nodded; she couldn’t believe she was plotting to get her husband together with his own brother.

Shrugging, trying to make a joke, Steve said, “and you and I will finally get to have sex together.”

“That just might be the only good thing to come out of this,” Natasha quipped.

Steve laughed softly and led her out of the bedroom. He walked directly over to his new boyfriend and carefully slipped his arms around the injured man. “Back,” he said. At least they hadn’t come out to find the two making out or anything, just some longing looks between the pair.

Sighing, tearing his eyes away from Bucky to look at Steve, TJ nodded and leaned his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Natasha walked into the living room and slipped next to her husband.

Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. “You sure this is what you want, TJ?” He slid his right arm around his wife’s waist.

Nodding, Steve made the decision for TJ. Talking softly, still watching TJ’s eyes, Steve said to the others, “I’m gonna make sure TJ’s treated right. Right, TJ?”

Nodding, TJ let his eyes fall to look at the floor.

Steve kissed TJ’s forehead, fighting the instinct to hide his feelings in front of Bucky and Nat in favor of guiding and helping his lover. TJ’s distress trumped his own fears.

Natasha watched the odd exchange, she knew that this dominating behavior from Steve would only anger her husband . . . but they had to get some space between the twins for their plan to work.

Bucky glared at his best friend. “TJ can talk for himself, Steve. Just because he agreed to date you doesn’t mean you have to control him. TJ, you can come back to our apartment . . .”

Steve never took his eyes off his boyfriend. Instead he softly said, “of course TJ can talk to whomever he wants. But right now, I’m gonna make a call _for_ him. Let’s drop the subject and eat. You guys hungry? We’ve got chicken . . .”

TJ whimpered softly and looked at Bucky and then at Steve. He let his eyes fall and he hugged himself again. He nodded, afraid to speak . . . he knew if he opened his mouth he’d voice his desires to go back with his brother.

Bucky shook his head, a low growling sound coming softly from the bottom of his throat. “Steve . . .” His eyes moved to his twin’s face and posture and he shook his head again. “Is that what you want, TJ?”

Meeting his twin’s eyes, TJ swallowed and bit his lip.

Clearing his throat, Steve said, “it’s what’s best. Dinner?”

Frowning, Natasha looked between the three men; she’d never seen Steve like this before. Peggy had always been the one to make decisions in the relationship . . . seeing Steve take charge, be _dominant_ , threw even her for a loop. She hadn’t even known Steve had this much dominance in him. She looked at her husband, his anger so clearly evident on his features.

Slowly, Bucky frowned and said “you want us over for dinner, TJ?” He had trouble ignoring Steve’s unusual take-charge attitude, not liking his best friend to assume he could just talk for TJ; that smacked too much of domestic control, and Bucky felt disappointed that Steve would be one of those controlling assholes after all, especially after Brock’s brutal attack. “TJ? What do _you_ want?”

TJ kept looking between Steve and Bucky, he could see the anger and disappointment in his twin’s eyes . . . it didn’t matter what he did; he always disappointed someone.

Steve shook his head and softly said, “TJ? Look at me, baby . . .”

TJ’s eyes snapped up at the command; he looked at Steve and let out a low whine.

“TJ, do you want to talk to Bucky about this _tonight_?” he asked gently, trying to let TJ know that the decision was for the immediate, the night, not for all time.

Bucky opened his mouth but something kept him from interrupting the odd behavior. He shut his mouth and crossed his arms.

Wrapping his arms tighter around himself, TJ shook his head, eyes falling to the floor. Refusing to look at his twin, afraid that he’d lose what little will he had in him to stay at Steve’s.

“Good boy,” Steve praised. “Buck, please respect TJ’s choices? He wants to drop it for tonight. You’re both welcome to eat with us, but not to prod TJ.” He reached over and gently stroked a hand down TJ’s cheek, giving him that human contact he seemed to always crave.

Natasha’s frown deepened, eyeing the new couple intensely, the way TJ pushed into Steve’s touch. It almost seemed as if TJ _wanted_ this - - that the lanky brunet needed Steve to talk _for_ him.

Still frowning, Bucky blew out his breath again, not liking the dominating way Steve seemed to be controlling TJ. Finally, Bucky asked, “TJ? You want us here for dinner or you wanna meet tomorrow?” That question couldn’t be misconstrued, and Bucky waited to see if Steve would answer for TJ again.

All the questions, all the decisions, made TJ whimper softly, so softly that only Steve could hear the noise. He _wanted_ to be wrapped in Bucky’s arms and never let go, but he knew he couldn’t have that. Bucky was his brother . . . was _married_.

Steve offered his boyfriend an encouraging smile. He stroked TJ’s face again and softly asked, “TJ? One at a time, okay? Do you want to have dinner with Bucky and Nat tonight, sweetheart, in _our_ apartment?” Nothing about his manner or tone suggested he was forcing TJ to choose one way or the other.

Bottom lip quivering slightly, TJ ducked and shook his head, a deep ache in his chest as he refused his twin’s company.

Tone firming, Steve nodded, “He doesn’t wanna share dinner tonight, guys. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He stroked again, gently. “Good boy, TJ,” he said, his voice gentle, as if he worked with a spooked horse.

Natasha nodded once, looking troubled, her eyes trailing over TJ’s form. Everything about his body language screamed that he was uncomfortable, ashamed.

Taking a slow breath, aware that TJ hadn’t yet relaxed, Steve asked TJ, “want me to explain to them, TJ?” He stroked again, touching his boyfriend’s shoulder as well, stroking gently, soothingly. “You can say no if you prefer. You have freedom of choice . . .”

TJ nodded, not lifting his head to look at anyone . . . maybe if Bucky knew, he wouldn’t be so disappointed.

Nodding, Steve made the decision not to discuss this in front of TJ, sparing him the shame. He bent and scooped up both puppy and kitten, whom Phil had once more gathered in his mouth. Handing the pair to TJ, Steve smiled. ”Meet me in our bedroom, baby?”

Taking the pets, TJ scurried off as fast as his injured body would let him go, not chancing a glance at either Bucky or Natasha.

Bucky watched his brother head off, frowning at the obvious pain and embarrassment TJ displayed. Once the door to the bedroom shut, he whirled back on Steve and growled, “what the fuck did you do to him!”

“James . . .” Natasha stepped forward and placed a hand on her husband’s shoulder.

Steve slipped the meat onto a plate and covered it, turning off the stove then rinsing the pan so it cooled for washing. Finally, he turned and his blue eyes held actual misery. He sank onto a stool and shook his head. “Did you know that TJ craves regular human touch so much he’s willing to make rash decisions to get it, Bucky? Apparently, being raised with the Hammonds has deprived him of simple hugs and cuddles. TJ feels like he has to pay for such love with sex, even if it hurts him.”

Bucky’s mouth dropped open in shock, horror.

Nodding, Steve continued, “he also feels he can’t make decisions for himself. He never was allowed to. Not only is he a submissive personality, but on top of that, his relatives have been forcing their own choices on him, not allowing him freedom even to grow up into his own man.” Steve shook his head. “Now, he’s so mixed up, he’s willing to take the bad just to get a glimmer of good, then spends the rest of the time hating himself, second guessing his own choices because he was never taught how to chose for himself.”

Sinking onto a stool, Bucky shook his head. “But . . . what? He didn’t say . . . how? Why would they . . .” His heart ached for his twin, above and beyond his unspoken desire. Had his own slipped boundaries hurt TJ, maybe even forced him to a vulnerability Brock had taken advantage of?

Natasha moved to stand behind her husband, hands on either shoulder, providing a soothing contact.

Steve ran a hand over the back of his neck. “That’s not the point, Bucky. _How_ it happened doesn’t really matter. It happened and now TJ fakes confidence and self-love. He’s desperate to be loved and blames himself for anything wrong with a relationship, as if his own needs forced him to chose to be raped. I found that out today and stepped in and have convinced him to trust me to be his boyfriend, his caregiver.” Looking at Nat, Steve said, “you saw it, didn’t you, Natasha? TJ wants someone to make decisions for him because he’s afraid he’ll make a bad one?”

Nodding, Natasha confirmed Steve’s theory, “he’s so scared to make a wrong decision that he doesn’t make _any_.” She squeezed her husband’s shoulders in a comforting manner.

“And he’s so used to family demanding him be accountable for _their_ choices for him, that he’s willing to suffer just to answer your questions, even if he doesn’t want to, Bucky. And, perhaps as a direct result of all of this, or for other reasons we haven’t determined, TJ has formed a very strong sexual attraction to you:, the one man who would treat him well and love him no matter what. He’s ashamed and horrified and doesn’t want you to shun him, so he’s moving in with me to try to control this.”

Bucky swallowed and let his head drop. He nodded. “I understand,” he whispered.

Natasha, sensing a shift in the plans she and Steve had set out, moved from behind Bucky and stood in front of him. “You feel it, too, don’t you, James?”

Nodding again, Bucky said, “yeah. I have since we met at the airport.” Redness flushed his cheeks and he kept his eyes downcast in mortification.

Natasha reached down to squeeze her husband’s knee.

“But that doesn’t give Steve the right to control TJ!” Bucky looked up, eyes flashing once more.

“Please,” Steve turned to his best friend, “I know you didn’t really get me and Peggy and our relationship, but she taught me a lot about submissive and dominant. TJ’s a submissive who’s never been taught he has a right to his own voice and choices. He’s learned, even accidentally, that being submissive means giving up everything. I want to teach him that he has rights, that submissive is a trust he gives, not a lifestyle thrust on him. But more than that, he needs to know he has a right to his own life choices, even if they aren’t the society approved ones. He has to stop being told he’s making only bad calls, even if they hurt him, because by being _told_ he’ll never get it right, TJ’s slowly losing his will to help himself.”

Sighing, Bucky ran a hand through his hair again and said, “I don’t care if he likes kinky shit, Steve. I want TJ to make his own calls. I don’t want someone foisting choices on him. Even if it’s to protect him. Are you sure you’re not just doing the same thing Aunt Elaine and Uncle Bud did?” He intended to keep his own desires to himself, not foist himself on TJ again, either.

Shaking his head, Steve explained, “right now, he needs to be shown how to make a better choice. He needs encouragement and some amount of control. Foisting him out on his own completely will result in TJ getting himself killed or worse. It’s a road to drugs and dependence, Bucky. Right now, I’m helping him out, even if it doesn’t seem like it, by making choices when he can’t. But I certainly want to give him the chance, too. That means breaking it down so it’s not so overwhelming, and rewarding whatever choice he does dare to make with understanding. It’s a delicate process. If you guys can help, that’d be even better. But you have to stop and think. Give him the options, and the dangers, _before_ he chooses. If you correct his choice by reminding him of the dangers after, he’s gonna lose that confidence. Right now, TJ’s been faking his entire life for thirty years. And it ended so far in sexual assault tonight and self-loathing for his own real desires.”

“Which _aren’t_ something to be ashamed of,” Natasha said, giving Bucky’s knee another squeeze.

Head snapping back as if he’d been hit, Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “What? He . . .”

Steve held up a hand. “I’m not saying either way. That’s up to TJ to talk about. He can’t rely completely on me fielding all bad things. But, he let his guard down, and it ended very badly with him getting more hurt than anyone deserves. And it’s not a kind of hurt he has a kink for. So, we’ve made a deal. TJ helps me come out,” Steve swallowed and folded his hands, not clarifying just how that worked, “and I help TJ grow as a person. We were gonna try this out a week ago, but my being in the closet kind of damaged our relationship before it began. But, he’s willing to help me now . . . so we’re taking another shot?”

Wanting to hunt down Brock and beat the crap out of him for raping TJ, Bucky merely nodded, fists clenching. He ground out, “if you ever hurt my brother, Steve, I’ll do to you what that asshole tonight deserves. You spotted several weaknesses, but you better not hurt him!”

Smiling, relief crossing his face, Steve raised his voice, “TJ? Your brother just threatened to beat the crap outta me if I hurt you!” He figured TJ needed to know that someone was on his side, someone other than his new boyfriend.

Natasha squeezed Bucky’s knee.

Shouting just as loudly as Steve had, Bucky added, “no, not beat the crap outta you. I threatened to put you in a coma for the rest of your fucking life if you hurt my brother!”

Steve nodded, chuckling softly. He turned towards the bedroom. “Wanna come out or wanna stay in there, TJ, baby?”

After a few long moments, the bedroom door opened and TJ walked out, his pale eyes looking at Natasha and Bucky with uncertainty.

Bucky stood and walked over, tugging TJ into a fierce hug. “I can’t pretend to understand why you got this bad, TJ, but Steve promised he’s gonna help you feel better.” He met his brother’s eyes. “But if he doesn’t do right by you, you come get me and I’ll make him see what it’s like to be hurting. I _love_ you! I won’t let anyone hurt you if I can stop it. And I’ll work on this . . . between us. We can get through this, brother mine, I promise.”

TJ smiled softly at his brother, before hugging him tight.

“And this kinda kink ain’t so weird as all that,” Bucky whispered in TJ’s ear. “I like being _tied up_ myself. Just don’t tell anybody.” He pulled back enough to smile at his brother, eyes worried.

Laughing quietly, TJ nodded, “thank you, Bucky. You really are a great brother.”

Nodding, Bucky responded, “you’re just as great, TJ. So . . . you’re gonna let me know how to help you, right? I’m not into the psych stuff Peggy was teaching Steve, so I don’t know what to do or say. I want you to be happy . . .” Bucky brushed TJ’s hair back from his eyes. “You need a haircut,” he said, distractedly, then flushed, “if you want one?” He forced his sudden desire down again and met TJ’s eyes, now knowing it was a mutual desire they both needed to suppress, that he wasn’t alone.

“You’re right, it’s getting long . . . any longer and I’ll look like a hobo like you,” TJ teased with a small smirk, eyes meeting his twin’s.

“Can’t have that,” Bucky joked. “My wife’s already half in love with your for your music.” He touched foreheads with his brother and breathed out slowly. “You let me know if I can do anything, right?”

“I’ll let you know, I promise,” TJ breathed back.

Nodding, Bucky backed up a bit, reluctant to let go but knowing he had to. “Since you wanted an alone dinner with your boyfriend, I’ll steal Nat away, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow . . . maybe lunch? You can text me, you know. Technology is a thing here.” He offered a nervous smile.

Laughing, TJ nodded, “I’ll text you tomorrow. Steve and I gotta go back to the school to pick up my things.”

Opening his mouth, Bucky stopped himself from asking why TJ had left his things when he’d originally gone back for them, remembering the rape had interrupted TJ’s quest. Bucky nodded, closing his mouth. “Okay. And . . . is it weird that the kitten lets the puppy carry her around like that?” he changed the subject with a small nervous laugh, unconsciously imitating Steve’s nervous habit, looking down at the two fluff balls.

“We can’t get Phil to let her go, I think he’s smitten,” TJ grinned, looking down at the two pets.

“Or he thinks she’s his puppy, which is weird. You hear that, Steve?” Bucky looked at Steve and grinned. “You got a weird-ass dog.”

Steve chuckled and nodded. “He’s been clingy, too. Like he’d follow me faithfully anywhere. I think he misses me when I leave the place and latched onto Luna instead. As long as she lets him, I don’t see a harm in it, I guess.” He shrugged, also looking down at their pets.

“Come on, dear,” Natasha called, “let’s let these lovebirds have a nice evening.”

Bucky looked over and smiled. “I love it when you use pet names . . .” he said softly and took his wife’s hand. Throwing a grin at his brother and best friend, Bucky tore his eyes away and headed to the door. “Oh, and Steve? Nice apron. Really shows your finest point.” He laughed, letting himself and Natasha from the apartment, as Steve flushed brightly. Bucky let out a shaking breath and led his wife downstairs.

After a few moments, TJ drawled nervously, “well, that went . . . well?”

Nodding, Steve slid his arms around TJ and pulled him flush to his larger body. “I think so. Kind of sooner than I wanted, but I think it’s good. Bucky and Nat wanna help us. I think they like us?” he offered on a teasing smile.

Sighing, TJ nuzzled Steve’s chest, tucking his head beneath the blond’s chin. He wished he was with Bucky right then, that it was Bucky who was holding him . . . teasing him . . . comforting him.

“Now I’m really hungry, pet.” Steve chuckled low. He tugged TJ towards the kitchenette and let go long enough to pull out the salad stuff and some bowls. He quickly mixed the salad and chicken then plopped down some dressings and croutons. Sinking onto a stool, Steve reached over and tugged TJ towards him. “If you want, I’ve got a seat next to me, or my lap is free, pet?”

TJ sank onto Steve’s lap carefully, with a slight wince from putting pressure on the bruises, trying his best not to jolt his injured body. He needed Steve’s touch to distract him from his thoughts of his brother.

Steve smiled in approval and began serving them one bowl of salad, letting TJ eat as much or little as he liked without having to answer for an unfinished meal, since Steve would be finishing it. “Perfect fit, I’m thinking,” Steve nuzzled his neck, moving carefully under his boyfriend to avoid hurting him further.

“Perfect,” TJ sighed.


	4. The Pain of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> References to Past Rape and Gang Rape. Twincest feels. PTSD reactions, anxiety, and panic attacks. PTSD nightmares. Reference to past drug use/ addiction.

Two more weeks passed by; TJ fell into a comfortable rhythm with Steve, who had been nothing but kind and attentive the entire time. He’d finally gotten a grasp on teaching a bunch of teenagers. He and Steve would walk to the academy and home together, and Steve, Bucky, or Natasha always seemed to be keeping him company during his free periods, not allowing anyone a chance to get TJ alone. Bucky seemed to be understanding his twin’s unique needs more with each day that passed, and TJ loved how protective Bucky was . . . it made him feel even safer, although the continuing closeness with his twin did nothing to calm his desires for Bucky.

It was a Friday night and TJ sat next to his boyfriend, his hand lying on Steve’s thigh under the table. They were in public, at a club that both Nat and Bucky swore by, so he couldn’t cuddle or kiss Steve; but the simple caresses that Steve would sneak in were enough to keep TJ satisfied and distracted from how great Bucky looked in his black button down shirt that stretch taut over his chest and black butt-hugging jeans. He sipped on his beer, enjoying the loud music and general happy atmosphere the club had.

Steve felt proud of the small touches he managed to get the courage to bestow on TJ under the table and in the darkened club. He wanted to do so much more, but it was a struggle for each touch, each look; in his head he’d hear a long line of voices correcting him, yelling at him, giving him a disappointed word or disgusted slur, and phantom pain would echo behind the voices; the feeling of being _dirty_ would raise it’s ugly head, and Steve would have to fight the rising panic once more.

Sipping his beer, smiling at something Natasha said, Steve gently bumped TJ’s arm with his own, chuckling yet again at the surprise TJ had displayed when Steve not only agreed to go out clubbing but had ordered alcohol. Just because he didn’t allow the stuff in the apartment didn’t mean Steve was against it completely. He just didn’t want to make it so accessible as to become tempting; his father had been an alcoholic. Steve reminded himself he had to tell TJ about _that_ . . . but not that night.

Natasha kissed Bucky’s stubbled jaw line and murmured an offer to go on the dance floor; her lips brushing against the shell of her husband’s ear.

“Hell yeah,” Bucky responded, always up for dancing, especially with his well-trained, sexy wife. He pushed away the wish that he could dance with TJ; Bucky loved how his wife fitted against him.

Steve snickered and watched the pair with amused fondness.

“You like dancing?” TJ asked over the loud music, taking another drink of his beer as he watched Natasha and Bucky begin dancing closely on the floor, eyes on his twin more than Natasha.

“Don’t know how,” Steve replied honestly. “Never learned.” He offered a smile to his boyfriend. “Willing to learn.”

“Mom made me take classes for five years,” TJ offered with a smile. “I can teach you . . . if you want? Club dancing doesn’t take much . . . could be fun?” His body wasn’t that sore anymore, just a few minor aches every once in awhile.

Chuckling, Steve nodded willing and asked, “and do you _like_ dancing, TJ?”

Shrugging, TJ grabbed a chip from the basket in the center of the table and popped it in his mouth. After swallowing it, he answered, “I like dancing for fun . . . classical, competitive dancing? Not so much.” He stood up, wiped his hands on his jeans and offered his boyfriend a smile, “wanna do this?”

“Competitive?” Steve shook his head, sipping at his beer then standing. “Seems like an odd sport, but who’m I to judge?” He grinned and licked at the slight foam around his top lip. “Betcha you’re pretty sexy on the floor.” Steve suddenly flushed at what he’d said, how it sounded. He stood there a bit apprehensively, wiping his hands down his dark blue slacks.

Smirking around the opening of his bottle, TJ took another sip, before putting it back down on the table and shrugging again, nonchalant, “I’m alright. I know a thing or two about clubbing.”

“Owned a club for all of a month, didn’t ya, Hammond?” Brock’s voice drawled out from TJ’s other side, sending Steve stiffening and reaching to pull TJ protectively behind him, away from the man the cops still hadn’t caught. He fumbled for his phone to alert the cops.

TJ’s eyes widened and he allowed Steve to be a barrier between him and the man that raped him. “What are you doing here, Brock?” TJ tried to keep his tone firm, but even with the loud music he could hear the quiver in it.

“Now that ain’t nice. Not after you let me fuck your tight ass.” Brock grinned and flicked his eyes over Steve. “Now who’s plowing you?”

Steve growled, “I’m calling the cops, Rumlow.”

Natasha, seeing the confrontation, tapped Bucky’s shoulder and gestured towards their table with a tilt of her chin.

Turning, Bucky frowned fiercely, hands balling into fists. “C’mon. Let’s get them outta here.” He headed in the direction of his twin and best friend.

At Steve’s reaction, Brock laughed and shook his head. “So, not tapped that yet, huh? Not surprised. You can’t get it up for a girl, let alone a hot guy like Hammond, here. So, what _did_ happen to that nightclub?” Brock turned his grin on TJ, checking him over. “Wasn’t it opening night you wound up in the hospital . . . some kind of flu I think the news said . . . but rumor says you had a little too much fun with your own . . . products.”

“Stop,” TJ pleaded shakily; he hadn’t told anyone in New York about his past struggles with drug addiction. He couldn’t let Rumlow take that from him, too.

Brock laughed and Steve grabbed the smaller man’s shirt in a ready fist, growling low. “I said, get away from us, Rumlow. You ain’t our friend, so don’t act like it.” He shoved the man away, sending Brock stumbling over a bar stool.

With an answering growl, Brock lunged at Steve and slammed him into the hard granite bar, drawing a pained gasp from Steve. The pair went down as other patrons screamed and scrambled out of the way. Bucky broke into a run towards them.

TJ quickly tried to help his boyfriend by tugging at Brock; with an impressive show of strength, the lanky brunet wrenched Brock off of Steve by the back of his collar. “Get off him!” TJ shouted.

Slamming Steve with another fist to the face as Steve tried to wrestle up from the floor, Brock snarled, “fuck off, Hammond! Get your fag hands off me!” Brock whirled around and slammed a fist at TJ only to be stopped by a tackle from Steve below.

“Don’t you touch him!” Steve roared as Brock went down.

A pair of bouncers arrived just as Bucky threw himself into the fray, and in a few minutes of struggle the five of them had been tossed from the club. Rumlow spit on the ground and turned, fists balled, towards Steve and TJ.

Steve stepped in front of TJ and balled his own hands into fists. “I’m charging you with assault! We’ve got witnesses in the club says you started it!” He fumbled his phone again but still couldn’t get any bars.

Spitting again, Brock stepped back and growled low, “ah, what the fuck would I want with a cocaine addict anyway? Fucking sick sad fuck!” He pushed past them as well as several others in the street.

TJ had begun to tremble, his arms wrapping around himself; he flinched with each word that Brock spat at him.

Steve turned and pulled TJ to him, ignoring anyone watching, holding his boyfriend’s trembling body close. “Hey, baby,” he whispered, “you okay?” Whenever TJ’s safety or happiness was concerned, Steve tended to forget his own insecurities, his own traumatic past, able to stay out of his own head to help his lover.

“I’m clean . . . I promise! I haven’t . . . not for two years!” TJ murmured, his tone pleading; he expected that as soon as Steve found out about his past drug usage, the blond would end things between them. He couldn’t move back in with Bucky - - his desires had only been growing over the last two weeks and he couldn’t trust himself to behave if they lived in the same apartment.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay. Not here, right? We can talk about it at home.” Steve caressed TJ’s cheek, frowning in soft worry at TJ’s sudden defensiveness. Wincing as blood trickled down his face from a split lip, Steve turned TJ towards a cab. “Come on baby, let's go home?”

Natasha looked at Bucky, checking her husband over to make sure he hadn’t been injured.

“I’m fine,” he shook his head, climbing into Steve and TJ’s cab, making sure to hold it for them to decide . . . for TJ to make the call, really. “Let’s all get outta here, Nat . . .” Bucky was shocked that Brock’s drug accusations had been true, but TJ’s defensive stammers had seemed to support that he’d been a cocaine user, at least in the past.

TJ sighed and nodded; he shrunk into himself as he was lead into the waiting cab. Once seated the smaller brunet curled up as much as possible.

Steve wrapped an arm around TJ and pulled him close, nuzzling his neck despite the cabby being able to see them. “Hey, baby, I’m right here. Did he hurt you?”

Shaking his head, TJ pressed into Steve’s side as closely as he could. Steve would kick him out . . . would break it off. He’d tell the Admin at the academy and TJ would lose his job. No one wanted an unstable, recovering cocaine addict teaching their children.

When the cab pulled up at the apartment, Bucky, growling softly and chewing his bottom lip, insisted on paying the tab, allowing Steve to slide out then reach in a hand for TJ. The blond patiently called out, “coming with me, TJ? We can talk upstairs, right?”

Nodding, TJ took Steve’s hand and allowed the blond to lead him up the stairs to their apartment.

Fitting the key in the lock, Steve paused and said, without turning, “Buck? Nat? We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? I think me and TJ want some alone time right now.”

Bucky touched TJ’s shoulder, his entire body aching to be the one to comfort his twin. “Is that what you want, TJ?” he asked, worried, frowning softly.

“You can see for yourself . . . I don’t - - I’m . . . I didn’t bring any . . .” TJ wrapped his arms around himself; he didn’t want Bucky to think he was still a user.

Bucky shook his head. “TJ . . . I’m asking if you wanna be alone with Steve tonight?” he gentled his voice, like he’d seen Steve do over the past couple of weeks, and met TJ’s eyes, still holding his shoulder. He kneaded softly, unable to pull his brother into a closer embrace because of his damn inappropriate desire raging once more.

After a moment, TJ bit his bottom lip and nodded, looking unsure and scared.

Finally, hugging his brother tight, Bucky whispered, “you can spend the night if you want, TJ, okay? Just text me or just come down and knock. You’re always welcome. You and Luna and Phil if you want . . .”

TJ wrapped his arms around Bucky tightly, fingers gripping his twin’s shirt tightly. He still trembled and Bucky’s offer had him rethinking his decision . . . maybe he should’ve said Bucky and Natasha could come in.

Softly, from the open door, Steve said, “if you wanna talk tonight, TJ, I’m here, baby.”

“James,” Natasha called softly, seeing the indecision flickering across TJ’s features.

Nodding, Bucky withdrew reluctantly. “Well, you go talk to Steve, TJ, okay? But remember, if ever you want, our door is _always_ open to you.” He slid his own key in TJ’s jeans pocket and hugged him again. “I’ll be downstairs.” Bucky backed off and shot one last worried look to his twin before letting Natasha guide him downstairs.

TJ hung his head and walked into the apartment; without talking to Steve he went into their bedroom and began opening the drawers that Steve had given him to use for his clothes. After they were all open, TJ sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Steve.

Steve followed TJ into the apartment and closed the door, not commenting on the key or Bucky’s offer. He walked into the kitchen and poured a couple of tall glasses of cold water on ice. After a long moment, he walked back into the living room and sat down, letting TJ do whatever it was he seemed to feel he needed to. From the couch, sipping from one glass, Steve called out, “Wanna talk, sweetheart?” He thought over whether he should call the police, if it would do any good.

“Don’t you want to check?” TJ called back, not moving from where he sat on the bed.

Glancing over with a small frown, Steve asked, “check what, TJ?” He could tell that the next few minutes would make or break their fledgling relationship; TJ’s entire trust and self-confidence lay on the line after what Rumlow had pulled that night.

“My things?” TJ answered neutrally.

Considering the question seriously, Steve finally called back, “why? You think someone slipped something in there?”

There was a moment of silence; TJ looked at the opened drawers with a tilt of his head, “you believe me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Steve got off the couch and came to the bedroom door, sipping his glass and holding the other one out. “You said you’ve been clean for two years, so I believe you. Why would you need to lie to me?” He offered a gentle smile. “But if you wanna have me check, I can do it, as long as you go through _my_ stuff looking for hidden alcohol.”

TJ blinked, looking stunned, “why . . . were you . . .”

Shaking his head, Steve said, “always been afraid to, actually. My dad was an alcoholic. It runs in families. So, I make it as hard as I can to get a hold of it. Never go near the stuff alone, don’t let it in the house, that kind of thing.” He sipped again. “Want this drink or not, baby? My arm’s getting tired.” He held out the ice water again.

Cautiously, like he expected Steve to have a sudden change of heart, TJ slowly stood and accepted the water with a grateful nod.

“So, let’s talk about tonight, okay? Then we can clear up any confusion.” Steve gestured to the couch with his head. “Wanna talk in the living room or our bed?” He still didn’t even bother to look at the open drawers.

A few moments passed before TJ stepped out of the bedroom and walked into the living room, sitting out on the edge of the couch. Both hands wrapped around the glass and his knee bounced anxiously.

Steve followed instantly and sank onto the couch with a groan for his fight injuries, touching the split lip. “Damn, for a smaller guy, he hits hard.”

TJ looked over and guilt settled in his gut at the sight of the injures, “I’m . . . I’m sorry. You didn’t - - I . . . I should’ve . . .”

Nodding, Steve sighed. “Yeah, I gotta work on that. Bad habits pop up sometimes.” He shook his head and sipped the water again. “Bucky’ll be the first to yell at me for fighting again.” He glanced at TJ. “So, what was it like when you did cocaine? It _was_ cocaine, right?”

Turning his head away, not wanting to look at Steve, TJ nodded.

“I’m guessing it made you feel good when you were needy?” Steve sipped again, not looking away, voice remaining matter-of-fact. “I never had the courage to try drugs, always afraid I’d go to hell or OD right away, so I never got to find out for myself.”

“ _Courage_?” TJ snorted; he set the glass on the coffee table, “you had the _courage_ not to try drugs, Steve.”

“Ah, he _does_ have his bite,” Steve praised with a smile. “Was beginning to think you let Rumlow beat it outta you with his dirty attempts to drive us apart.” Leaning forward with a soft wince, Steve put his hand on TJ’s thigh. “I don’t say doing drugs is brave or anything, but when you’re a kid and wanna try things out, it feels like lack of courage when you back down.” He sipped and placed his glass down.”What takes courage is getting off and staying off, I understand. Has it been hard the past couple years, baby?”

Sighing, TJ ran his fingers through his hair and said, “some days are harder than others . . . I had been on and off drugs ever since my time in the White House.”

“Since you were forced to come out or before?” Steve asked curiously.

“After I came out,” TJ answered, “got kicked out of boarding schools after that and three different universities.”

“I’m guessing the Admin doesn’t know about the drugs in your past,” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Well, you can count on me, even if you have trouble believing it, to keep it quiet, baby. That’s your past. And maybe you can use your past experience to figure out if any of your students need help they aren’t brave enough to ask for?” Steve sipped his water again, still non-judgmental, as he’d always been with TJ.

“Maybe,” TJ shrugged, his arms wrapping around himself.

Noting the self-comforting gesture, Steve offered a small smile. “Wanna cuddle or is it too soon, pet?”

“I . . . I need to tell you . . . I don’t wanna hide it anymore . . .” TJ murmured.

“Are you able to tell me better in my arms or on your own, sweetheart?” Steve asked.

“You might not wanna hold me after you hear it . . .” TJ mumbled, looking miserable.

“Okay,” Steve agreed. He reached over and tugged TJ into his arms. “So, let me hold you _while_ you tell me, then.” After settling the other man against his hard chest, Steve murmured, “want me to guess? Let me see, you’ve been secretly selling yourself for drugs to keep yourself in cat food?” He deliberately mixed up the ideas to get TJ to relax and think about it; nothing the man said would drive Steve away.

TJ shook his head, “no . . . though that’d be one hell of a story . . .”

Nodding, Steve said, “I claim publisher’s rights, if we’re gonna write it up.” He nuzzled TJ’s neck. “Tell me what you need me to hear, baby.”

“Um . . . almost four years ago . . . I - - I met this guy at a market in DC . . . Sean Reeves?” TJ looked up to see if Steve recognized the name.

Nodding, Steve met TJ’s eyes. “Anyone I should know?” he asked, knowing TJ had been in political circles his entire life.

“A Republican senator from Ohio,” TJ answered.

“Ah, then I never met the guy,” Steve confirmed and nuzzled TJ’s neck. “Was he a boyfriend, baby, or a fling?”

“A boyfriend . . . I was happy with him, ya know? He was married, had kids . . . but I - -” TJ bit his bottom lip, teeth dragging over the pink skin.

“Loved him?” Steve smiled softly. He didn’t show any judgment that TJ had found happiness with a married man. Instead, he encouraged his boyfriend to talk about this obviously painful time. “He treated you good for a time?”

“Yeah . . . he told me it was love at first sight . . . he said he was going to leave his wife to be with me,” TJ answered softly.

Nodding, Steve nuzzled softly. “I can believe it. I’d have fallen for that, too, actually. Being cared for by someone willing to let me be myself? Willing to hold me despite anything anyone else said. That would feel like something worth taking.” Steve met TJ’s eyes, still smiling softly. He stroked the dark curls from those light eyes. “But I get the idea he didn’t quite live up to the image?”

Shaking his head, TJ dropped his eyes, “no - - uh . . . the Senate was deadlocked on a new bill . . . somehow a Democrat found out about the affair, used it against him to get the bill to swing his way. I told Sean that this would be the perfect opportunity to come out . . . that I knew it was scary but he could do it . . . I loved him and I thought he loved me.”

Steve’s voice dropped in horror and guilt. “And he chose his career over you? My God, I’m an ass . . .” Steve shook his head, dropping his eyes. “I’m so sorry, baby . . .”

TJ shrugged, “he said some shitty things, said I was a good lay if he kept his eyes closed. I saw him on the TV later . . . talking about going home for Christmas to see his family . . . I had been so happy with him, clean, the longest time I’d gone without using since I’d started. I tied my sobriety to him and it backfired. I - - I . . .” TJ swallowed.

“You fell off the wagon hard?” Steve guess, meeting TJ’s eyes, his own blue filled with self-disgust for putting TJ in the same exact situation as Sean had: having to hide his relationship to protect his boyfriend’s career.

“Well, yeah,” TJ nodded, releasing a deep, shaky breath, “I - - I drank a whole bottle of vodka . . . I was home alone . . . and I just couldn’t get his face, his words outta my head. I went to the garage and turned the car on . . . Mom found me . . . had she’d been any later . . . I would’ve been dead.”

Steve hugged TJ close, hard, as if he could protect him from the past. “My poor baby,” he crooned, nuzzling into TJ’s neck. “My poor, beautiful, baby.” Tears slipped down Steve’s cheeks at the idea of TJ trying to end his pain that way . . . by trying to end his own life.

“They swept the attempt under the rug, and after I got out . . . I just started using regularly again . . . Dougie . . . he helped me get some money for this club in DC. I thought . . . I don’t know . . . if I could be a part of something . . . that the pain would go away. I wanted someone to be proud of me . . . but . . . I invited Sean . . .” TJ’s hands clenched into fists, tugging at the fabric of his jeans.

Steve touched TJ’s cheek with trembling fingers, “because you still held hope that Sean really loved you? That if you just showed him, he’d change his mind and get back together with you?” Steve shook his head and nuzzled TJ’s neck once more. “My poor TJ.”

“It was stupid . . . I know . . . but my Mom found out that I’d invited Sean and backed out of opening night. Same with my Dad. Dougie was going to go but . . . I told him not to . . . I felt like they’d _written me off_ , ya know?” TJ fought the tears that wanted to escape from telling some of his most painful memories.

Steve nodded and stroked TJ’s hair. “And on opening night you got some cocaine and took too much?” He guessed, knowing Rumlow had used truth to hurt TJ more than a lie ever could.

“Yeah, Dad actually came . . . he found me . . . I haven’t touched anything since,” TJ released another shaky breath.

Steve cupped TJ’s face and kissed him long, desperately, trying to give some of his love and strength to the other man. He pulled back slowly and breathed out the one question he knew was buried inside TJ, waiting to be asked, waiting to be given the importance TJ felt it should have been given. “And did Sean show up?”

“No,” TJ swallowed and wiped at a stray tear as if fell down his cheek. “I’m sorry . . . I promise . . .”

“Sorry for trying to find happiness any way you learned how? For trusting and relying on someone who couldn’t come through in the end? TJ, sorry for being a human with weaknesses and love?” Steve shook his head. “Never be sorry for being _you_ , baby. You’re my beautiful TJ.” Leaning his forehead against TJ’s Steve whispered, “and you don’t have to promise sobriety to me, baby. I don’t want you feeling like I’m the only reason you’re sober. You’ve done great for two years, and I’m damned proud of you for that. Don’t let anyone take that from you.”

TJ closed his eyes, another tear falling down his cheek, “you don’t think I’m pathetic?”

Shaking his head and meeting TJ’s eyes, Steve said firmly, “No. I think Sean is pathetic. And Rumlow. But not you. It takes courage to break away from the lure of drugs. It’s not easy. I understand people slip back all the time. So, even if you began using again tomorrow, I wouldn’t think you were pathetic, baby. I’d want to try to figure out what made you turn back to them and try to help you find another way. But, you’re not pathetic for wanting to be happy. I want to help you keep finding other ways to be happy, so you can be proud of yourself as much as I am right now.” Steve smiled at his boyfriend, brushing his lips across TJ’s. “And I want you to help me find the courage to make the choice Sean never did. I want to find a way to come out . . .”

“You sure?” TJ asked quietly.

Nodding, Steve said, “We’ve been working on it for a couple of weeks, so you know it’s something I want, something that terrifies me. But now I wanna find the courage . . . find a way . . . so much more important to me now, you know? To follow your courage . . .” Steve fell silent, unable to express his sudden need to prove to TJ that he wasn’t another Sean Reeves, that TJ’s love meant more than anything. Steve felt terrified at the idea of losing his job, his way of life, repeating the agony and terror of those months; he knew he had to work up to that step, but he really wanted it more than ever.

“I didn’t . . . I don’t want you to do it because I told you about Sean . . . I’m . . . I’ll be happy as long as I have you,” TJ said honestly, and he meant it. He hadn’t told Steve about Sean to guilt the blond into coming out . . . he just felt that Steve had needed to know the full story instead of small bits from Rumlow or even a newspaper.

“TJ, I want to do this for me, not for Sean . . . but I know that as soon as I walk out of that door, I’ll lose my nerve again. That's what I want your help with. Tonight,” he smiled softly, “tonight was the first time I’ve ever held hands or anything with a man in a public place in years. I was petrified, but I enjoyed it. I want more of that, less of the fear.” Steve met TJ’s light eyes. “Does that make sense?”

Nodding, TJ leaned forward and captured Steve’s lips with his in a long, passionate kiss. Pulling away, only slightly, the brunet breathed, “it makes sense . . . I wanna help you . . . anyway I can.” After a moment Steve’s words finally dawned on him, “wait . . . _in years_? I thought you haven’t come out?”

“I haven’t,” Steve flushed, “not really. I, uh, did have a boyfriend right after college but . . . that went badly.” He wrung his hands together nervously, licking his suddenly dry lips.

“What . . . what happened?” TJ asked softly, looking up at the blond.

Taking a very deep breath and letting it out slowly, gripping his hands into one large, white-knuckled fist, Steve looked down at his hands and whispered, “he was faking it? He got the others together and . . . I was in intensive care for a week . . . and was . . . was told I didn’t fit in, had to . . . consider another lifestyle.”

TJ’s eyes widened with horror; he straightened but never stopped looking at Steve. “Oh my God . . . they - - they attacked you?”

“Yeah,” Steve twisted his fingers painfully, trying to stop his own remembered anguish, push away the feeling if dirt deep inside. “Took turns to _teach me to be a real man_.”

Paling, TJ felt like he might be sick; in a low voice, barely above a whisper, he asked, “they . . . raped you?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah.” He let go his other hand and brought his right hand up to wipe viciously at his eyes, trying to get rid of the welling tears. “And discovered that I can't help but get off from . . . certain things.”

“Steve . . . just because you - - finish . . . doesn’t mean you _enjoyed_ what they did,” TJ said softly, pale eyes soft and sympathetic.

“And just because you couldn’t fight him off doesn’t mean you did, either,” Steve finally lifted his tear-streaked face.

“Steve, what happened with me is completely different . . .” TJ sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

Shaking his head, Steve said, “I’m not saying Brock tied you down and laughed while you screamed, TJ. I’m saying, he should have backed off when you said no. Violent or not, one man or ten, it was still a rape.”

TJ felt even sicker; he assumed Steve was talking about his own attack . . . Steve had been violently gang-raped. He didn’t think there was any comparison between his own encounter with Brock and Steve’s vicious assault. Frowning, TJ shook his head, “and then they fired you? Because you were raped?”

“You could say that. They told me I wasn’t right for the . . . job, because I proved what everyone had suspected: that gay men can’t keep control. That they make the straight men . . . well, you get the idea.” He didn’t differentiate that he wasn’t strictly gay; they hadn’t. Steve gripped his hands back together again, feeling his chest begin to tighten in the remembered terror and agony and shame. He wanted so badly to wash up, get clean.

“ _They_ attacked _you_!” TJ exclaimed, obvious anger and disgust in his tone and expression, “that’s _wrong_. They can’t fire you for medical purposes and surely not for being _gay_. That’s illegal, Steve!”

Steve shook his head. “They could and they did. It was totally legal, TJ. I didn’t have a case.” He didn’t look up.

TJ shook his head; he couldn’t believe the injustice that he was hearing, the horrible events that Steve had to go through. “At least tell me that the assholes that attacked you are rotting in prison somewhere.”

Softly, Steve whispered in a small voice, “I was told I shouldn’t have told anyone that I was interested in men, so I asked for it.” He lifted miserable blue eyes. “So, they were just told to watch their behavior and not do anything that would reflect badly.”

“So they are still out there? They _hurt_ you and get off with a gentle reprimand? Steve! Why didn’t you go to the police?” TJ felt shocked.

“They had no jurisdiction.” Steve stood, legs shaking, putting down his water glass before he managed to drop or spill it. He rose and paced the room, pale and miserable, hating the feeling of shame, inadequacy, betrayal, unclean . . . his breathing came in pants and he unconsciously rubbed at his chest.

“No jurisdiction? Were you overseas or something? Studying abroad?” TJ watched Steve, tracking his every movement.

“Yeah, I was overseas,” he confirmed. “Wasn’t studying, already finished college. I was . . . . working.” He couldn’t bring himself to mention the specifics of that tour.

“As a teacher or something? I’m confused . . . even local police in most foreign countries would take a rape case seriously,” TJ looked lost and still angry.

Miserable, Steve shot a look of pure pain to his boyfriend. “I was in Kosovo. The local police didn’t get involved with a group of Americans.” By then, Steve ached in his chest and lungs, a twisting, stabbing pain throughout his lungs and around his heart. He pressed non-stop at his breastbone, rubbing hard, no doubt leaving red marks and bruising under his shirt.

“What are . . . are you okay?” TJ asked, noticing the discomfort and pain on his boyfriend’s face. The brunet got up and walked over to where Steve stood.

Shaking his head, Steve rasped out, “hurts . . .” He began crying openly then, drawing a ragged gasp.

“Steve? Steve . . . what? What can I do?” TJ asked, eyes widening. 

Steve shook his head and finally realized what was happening. He headed over to his bedside table and opened it, pulling out an inhaler. Trying a couple of long drags, he dropped the med to the bed and headed for the oxygen tank unobtrusively in the corner. He began setting up his nebulizer with shaking hands, spilling the first dose of medicine.

Walking over, hands steady, TJ offered gently, “show me? I can help if you show me what to do?”

Nodding, Steve held out the liquid medicine and pointed to a mark on the nebulizer atomizer. “Fill to there?” he rasped, hands still shaking, but he sank to the bed.

TJ carefully put the required dose of medicine in, looking down at the machine; he grabbed what looked like a mouth piece and handed it to Steve.

Throwing his boyfriend a thankful look, Steve began inhaling the mist caused by the atomizer. It took at least fifteen minutes but Steve got himself under control. He still pressed at his chest a bit, but his breathing had steadied out and he seemed to be in a lot less pain. “Sorry,” he breathed out. “I . . . I get asthma attacks with . . . with my post traumatic . . .” He hung his head at admitting he was so weak as to have continued nightmares and flashbacks and trauma related to that one horrible night, when he’d fought in a damn war.

TJ still stood by the tank, watching Steve closely; the shamed demeanor made the brunet’s heart ache with sympathy. “Do you get them often?”

Shaking his head, standing on wobbly legs, Steve began cleaning up his nebulizer equipment, moving to turn of the tank then wash up the rest of the equipment. “No. Actually, less than four times a year, I guess, from stress. I tend to avoid . . . thinking about . . . no, not from stress.”

Tilting his head, looking slightly confused, TJ asked, “so . . . it’s not from stress?”

Sighing, Steve looked up. “I get asthma attacks if I encounter an allergen or do really heavy exercise without using my preventive meds, and from stress or . . . flashbacks,” he finished on a whisper, flushing. He was supposed to be the strong one in this relationship, taking care of TJ . . . now he’d just proved he wasn’t much of a dom. No wonder he was always the sub with Peggy, even though she’d offered him a chance at dom sometimes.

“And talking about the . . . attack . . .” TJ sighed, nodding.

“Yeah, stress,” he confirmed and began neatly putting his nebulizer equipment back in the small set of drawers set next to his tank. He notated the use, as well as the spilled meds, on his log. Finally, drawing a steadying breath, Steve turned. “I’m sorry I panicked, baby,” his voice continued to come out soft. He sank back onto the bed, wishing to just go hide in the bathroom and wash away _them_.

Smiling gently, TJ reassured his boyfriend, “I understand, I can’t imagine . . . it’d be hard . . .” the brunet frowned, mad at himself for struggling to find the right words to comfort the shaken blond. There was a reason why most his other partners had always told him they like him better when he didn’t talk. 

Nodding, Steve took a chance that TJ wouldn’t reject him for his weakness, for being dirty. He held out his shaking hand. “Cuddle?”

Smiling again, TJ nodded and hurried over to Steve, sinking on the bed next to the large blond. He nuzzled Steve’s neck, “sleepy, Steve?” They had gotten up early for school that morning and the last few hours had been everything but relaxing.

“Yeah, but wanna finish our talk, sweetheart,” Steve kissed TJ with a small smile. After a long moment, Steve pulled TJ onto his lap more securely. He cleared his throat and asked softly, “now, what was it you wanted to tell me that would make me not wanna touch you anymore?” He could force down his own problems . . . he had so much practice at it.

“I . . . I thought you’d . . . most people would think I’m pretty damn weak and pathetic for trying to kill myself over a breakup,” TJ murmured softly, after learning about Steve’s trauma he felt like he shouldn’t complain about his life at all.

Feeling more secure as he fell back into helping his boyfriend, Steve asked “And you thought I wouldn’t wanna touch you any more because you got upset and drank and the drink influenced you? Baby, alcohol is a barbiturate, a downer, it makes you depressed. Suicide attempts would be a natural outcome if you’re already feeling lost and depressed. I’m certainly not going to think you’re pathetic because of a chemical reaction to something most people use regularly.” Steve kissed him lightly and added softly, “My dad drank himself to death, too, but his wasn’t a quick suicide attempt. He wasted away in a hospital with little to no memory of us.” Talking about his parents was so much easier than . . . the war.

“I’m sorry . . . that must’ve . . . it must’ve been tough,” TJ said sympathetically. He figured Steve knew about his mother’s death, figured that Bucky would’ve told him - - told him how Winifred Barnes, shortly after the divorce, had killed herself. Nobody had suspected anything was wrong for two days; TJ had been barely alive, just an infant and unable to care for himself, when the police did a welfare check at the request of Dad.

Cuddling TJ close, Steve nodded, though he didn’t linger over the sad memories. “You thought I knew about the cocaine when I had you sign that contract a couple weeks ago, didn’t you?” he asked softly.

“When you specifically mentioned no drugs . . . I thought you knew somehow . . .” TJ shrugged and licked his lips.

“Not a clue, TJ. It was a coincidence. I didn’t want anything handy in case I was tempted.” Steve looked at TJ. “I don’t wanna be my dad.” Taking a deep breath, he admitted, “it would be easy to lose myself some days . . .”

“Do you . . . do you still talk with your mom? You don’t speak about her very often,” TJ asked softly, pale eyes watching his boyfriend.

Shaking his head, Steve said, “she died right after I graduated high school. Cancer.” He ran a hand over the back of his neck.

“Oh . . . God, I am so sorry,” TJ apologized quickly, looking mortified.

“You didn’t know. It’s okay, pet,” Steve stroked TJ’s hair and down his neck and back. He kissed TJ’s neck and softly said, “you must be as tired as I feel after today? Wanna get some sleep? Cuddle tonight?”

TJ nodded, yawning, almost as if on cue, “yeah . . . I’m exhausted.” The brunet quickly removed his socks and shoes before moving on to his jeans and shirt. Dressed only in his boxers, TJ quickly slid under the warm covers.

Steve stood and undressed at a slower pace than his normal, but he seemed to be calm once more. Turning, offering a thankful smile, Steve slid into bed beside his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around TJ and buried his face in his neck, kissing the soft skin. “I am so glad you’re with me tonight, pet.”

Grinning softly, eyes already beginning to fall shut, TJ hummed his agreement and nuzzled the blond’s neck, “me, too . . .”

**************

The pair slept for about three hours before Steve restlessly turned away from TJ in his sleep. He whimpered and murmured, moving again, hand flinging out but just missing his boyfriend.

Blinking, mind foggy with sleep, TJ watched his boyfriend, trying to understand what was happening.

Muttering incoherently, Steve turned over again, facing TJ, and seemed to grasp out, missing his boyfriend but grabbing the blanket and bunching it against himself like a security line. His eyes opened wide, looking dazed.

Finally realizing that Steve was having a nightmare, TJ instinctively reached out and gently shook Steve’s shoulder.

As soon as TJ touched him, Steve screamed, flinging himself from the bed, heavily landing on the floor and banging his arm on the bed frame. He shuddered, still screaming, and began to crawl across the small expanse of floor between the wall and bed, falling into whimpers, eyes still wide and staring, not focusing.

Moving quickly, legs tangled in the sheets, TJ followed his boyfriend; crouching down to Steve’s level, the brunet reached out again, “Steve? Steve . . . come on, it’s okay . . .” his hand landed on the blond’s back.

Screaming again, Steve flung out with a fist, landing it on TJ’s shoulder with a strength born of fear. He pulled back and curled in on himself.

Yelping in pain from the strong blow, TJ fell back and looked at Steve with wide eyes. He knew Steve wasn’t in his right mind, that the blond would never hit him if thinking clearly. “Steve . . . Steve you’re safe . . . you’re not there . . .” TJ didn’t reach out again, cradling his throbbing arm close to his chest. “Come back to me . . .” TJ had no idea what he was doing; he’d never dealt with this sort of thing before . . . he was about to run downstairs and get Bucky and Natasha.

A whimper broke from Steve as he remained curled in a large ball, trembling. “Baby?” he sounded doubtful, hopeful, as if he felt he was still in the nightmare.

“Yeah, Steve, it’s me. You’re in your apartment in New York, you’re with me . . . you’re not there . . . you’re in New York . . . with TJ,” the brunet soothed, still holding his arm, the shoulder throbbed dully.

Steve whimpered again and turned suddenly clear, haunted eyes on his boyfriend. He crawled over and buried his face in TJ’s lap, cheek laying alongside his lover’s clothed member. But Steve wasn’t doing anything remotely sexual; he was merely breathing, trying to control his shaking and tears.

Carefully, slowly, giving Steve time to react if needed, TJ ran his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, “there you are . . .” TJ cooed gently.

Steve sobbed and nuzzled at TJ’s pelvis beside his member. “Sorry . . . sorry . . .”

“Hey, it’s alright, everyone gets nightmares . . . it’s okay, Steve . . . just breathe for me, yeah? Deep breaths,” TJ continued to run his long fingers through Steve’s hair, letting the injured arm fall limply to his side. Next time, TJ would know that touching Steve while he was having a nightmare was a bad idea.

Nodding, Steve took a deep breath of his lover’s scent. He slid his hands over TJ’s hips and slowly lifted his face, looking up with tear-washed eyes. “Don’t usually . . . get nightmares . . .” he explained as his breathing settled from sobs to hitches.

“It’s alright . . . everyone gets them,” TJ assured, looking down at Steve and offering him a gentle smile.

Steve pushed up and leaned in to kiss TJ’s lips. He pulled back slowly and glanced down, catching sight of the bruising, swollen flesh of TJ’s arm. “I hurt you?” Steve asked, horrified.

Looking down at the new bruise, TJ shook his head and focused Steve’s eyes on his face with a gentle hand, “I’m fine, Steve.”

Opening his mouth, Steve closed his lips once more. Softly, he said, “I didn’t mean to. I was lost, pet. I swear I’d never hurt you.”

“I know,” TJ smiled softly, eyes remaining locked with Steve’s, “I know you wouldn’t. It’s okay. Just a small bruise, nothing to worry about.”

Steve pushed from the floor to his knees then rose to his feet. He hurried from the room and came back in under a minute with a soft cloth bundle in one hand and two sleepy furballs tucked under his other arm. Steve lowered the pets carefully into TJ’s lap. He then raised the cloth to TJ’s bruised shoulder, pressing gently with the cloth-covered ice pack.

“Shit . . . that’s _cold_ ,” TJ whined, not even complaining about the pain at all.

“Not enough cloth?” Steve asked, worried.

“No . . . just caught me by surprise is all,” TJ said, his throbbing arm already numbing slightly under the pressure of the ice pack.

Blinking slowly, Steve said, “baby, I’m always gonna take care of you. I lost it, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. I want to make sure you’re okay.” He leaned in and kissed TJ’s neck softly. “And the babies are so soft and pliable since I caught them sleeping.” He offered a hopeful smile and Phil gave a puppy yawn and snuggled down on TJ’s thigh with a small puppy sigh.

“No reason to be sorry, Steve, I know you’re gonna take care of me. Really, it’s fine . . .” TJ looked down at his lap and smiled as Luna mewled sleepily and crawled so that she was lying directly on top of Phil.

After several quiet minutes on the floor as a small family, Steve finally pulled the ice from where he held it to TJ’s arm. He checked the injury and nodded. “TJ . . . when we start spanking and stuff, are you into pain and bruises? Cause you better tell me now so I can learn to control the amount. I tend to use a lot of strength.”

Looking thoughtful, TJ nodded, “some pain is good . . . and I don’t mind bruises, really. As long as you don’t go overboard.”

“Am I allowed to take care of you right away or do I have to wait a certain amount of time?” Steve looked genuinely worried.

“Depends on the scene we’re doing, I suppose,” TJ shrugged softly, reaching down and petting Luna’s fur gently, not stirring the sleeping kitten.

“TJ? Look at me, pet?” Steve asked softly, placing the ice gently back on the bruise.

Head snapping back up at the order, TJ looked at Steve with worried eyes.

Smiling as gently as he applied the ice, Steve said, “you know what I’m gonna say. I need training, pet, so I do this right for you. I want you to feel good, and if you like some pain, I wanna give you what you need. If we need to break scene to tell me more or less or something, please?”

“Red,” TJ said simply, looking at Steve, watching the blond closely. “If I say _red_ at any time while we are . . . playing . . . that means stop everything.”

“So, _red_ is the safe word?” Steve asked.

“Basic, I know, but it’s effective,” TJ shrugged again.

Shaking his head, Steve reached over and stroked TJ’s cheek. “I like basic, pet. I understand clearly. No confusion. So, let’s hope I don’t wanna ask your favorite color or something during a scene?” he teased softly, but he took the safe words seriously.

Laughing softly, TJ nodded. After a few more minutes, TJ asked on a playful whine, “can we get back to the bed now? My ass is just as numb as my arm.”

Nodding, Steve removed the ice pack again, checking the injury. “Okay, pet. You stay right there for a moment more.” Steve got up with a wince and carried the pack back to the kitchen, placing it in the sink. He came back out, carefully picked up the pets from TJ’s lap, and carried them to their kitchenette play pen. Finally, Steve came back to the room and scooped up TJ in his arms, one arm behind his back and the other under TJ’s knees. Steve gave his boyfriend a lingering kiss as he slipped onto the bed. Steve tucked TJ in as he snuggled around the other man. “Mine,” he whispered softly.

“All your’s, Steve,” TJ echoed; he yawned once more, and then quickly fell back to sleep.


	5. A New Drug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twincest (full sex), reference to past rape/ trauma, PTSD reactions/ pain, Group sex, reference to BDSM, reference to past drug use

TJ was still sleeping when Steve woke with the sunlight softly shining through his curtains and over the bed. Smiling, he turned over onto his stomach and pulled the blankets from TJ’s lean body. Steve crept up his lover’s frame until he could slide down TJ’s boxers and place light kisses on his hips, thighs, and pelvis, avoiding TJ’s member but only just.

Blinking awake, TJ keened, voice a bit rougher due to sleep, “Steve?” His hips canted off the bed slightly; he’d always been really responsive to touch.

“Yeah, pet? Need something?” Steve continued his gentle kisses around TJ’s pelvis, concentrating particularly on his left hipbone for the moment. He used TJ’s lift to advantage and slid the boxers down to TJ’s knees. It seemed the traumas of the night had faded and Steve felt a new confidence with his boyfriend, despite having given away his secret shame, something even Bucky, his best friend, knew nothing about.

“Wha - - what are you . . . doing?” TJ muttered, his member beginning to twitch and fill under Steve’s kisses.

“Kissing you, pet,” Steve answered matter of factly. He smiled slightly as he lifted his face so he could look up at TJ. “But if it’s bothering you . . .” he trailed off.

Shaking his head, at a loss for words at the moment, TJ groaned again and his hips lifted off the bed, chasing Steve’s kisses.

Moving his mouth across TJ’s abdomen, Steve added some small nips to his exploration, the tip of his tongue escaping amid the kisses to taste TJ’s skin.

Keening softly, body thrumming under the gentle explorations of Steve’s tongue, TJ squirmed on the mattress. His head pushed back against the soft pillow and his hands clenched and unclenched around fistfuls of Steve’s plush comforter. The bruise on his shoulder was pretty faint and the brunet could hardly feel it; of course, he was so focused on what Steve was doing to his body.

The plaintive howl of the puppy interrupted their morning play and Steve let his face fall to TJ’s abdomen, huffing. “Phil . . .” he moaned softly.

“This is why I like cats,” TJ grumbled, huffing, “make sure they have have food and water and they’re good for a while . . .” TJ’s words were cut off by a very obvious, needy mewl of a kitten.

Steve snickered into the firm abdomen. “Sounds like they want play time as much as breakfast . . .” the blond lifted his head with a grin.

“ _I_ want play time,” TJ pouted, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at Steve.

“Oh?” Steve hummed. “But I haven't got TJ toys . . .” Steve planted his hands on either side of his boyfriend’s hips, on the bed, and pushed up in a single, strong movement. He quickly eyed the bruised shoulder and nodded, glad he hadn’t used his full strength during his night terror.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Rogers,” TJ mumbled, sitting up fully and rubbing the remainder of sleep from his eyes.

“If I was ugly, would you have gone for Sam instead?” he referred to the ROTC teacher that seemed to have befriended TJ when Steve wasn’t looking.

“Yup, totally,” TJ teased.

“Oww . . . shot down by the Army,” Steve gasped, shuddered involuntarily, and turned to grab a pair of jeans and a tight red t-shirt with the words _‘adore me, I do’_ printed on it. He grinned as he pulled out a pair of boxer-briefs and shimmied them over his rather impressive member and firm ass. Saturday was Steve’s laundry day.

Slipping out of bed, TJ quickly changed into a pair of loose jeans that appeared to be a little worn and a dark blue t-shirt.

After getting dressed, Steve finally opened the bedroom door and laughed as he saw Luna hanging to the top of the baby gate where she’d managed to climb to, Phil below her looking mournful and howling. It appeared that they didn’t want play time; Luna seemed to be stuck and teetering in kitten confusion. “Oh, gotta rescue the babies,” Steve said as he headed for the pair of fluffballs in the kitchenette. “Think they’re old enough not to be penned all the time, pet?”

Walking out of the bedroom, ruffling his fingers through his sleep mussed hair, TJ yawned and shrugged, “I think so? Phil hasn’t had an accident in a few days and neither one has torn into stuff when let out.”

With a smile, Steve carefully rescued Luna from the tangle of her paws and the baby gate. He held her up and cooed, brushing his cheek over her furry face. “Heya, sweet, all better now. Daddy’s here.” He turned and offered the kitten to TJ. “Right, Daddy?”

Laughing, TJ took Luna and cooed to her; looking over at Steve he asked, “what’s the plan for today?”

Steve smiled, his blue eyes soft, and he turned to unfasten the gate and tug Phil out into a hug. “Papa’s got you, Phil.” He turned and said, “grading papers this morning, laundry this evening. Nothing planned other than that. What about you, pet?”

“Ugh . . . _grading_ ,” TJ moaned, throwing his head back in an over dramatic fashion.

“Well, you do have to make sure your beginner students are getting the notes and terms and musical theory down pat, don’t you? After a couple more weeks, _you_ won’t have more papers to grade unless you ask them to literally write music. Me? We’ll be getting into actual reports by that time.” He spoke from experience, as he’d been coupled with the last music teacher, Peggy. Steve set his now happy puppy on the floor and folded away the baby gate, checking the newspapers on the floor before nodding. “Gonna take Phil for a run. You wanna join us?” Steve was glad to get back to his normal routine of a morning workout, even if it was more for health than pleasure.

Scrunching his nose in distaste, TJ shivered, “ _running_?” He went to the gym a few days a week, but he’d never been a big runner.

Laughing at the tone of his boyfriend’s look, let alone the disgust in his voice, Steve said, “I’ll call Sam to join me. He’s got a bulldog he likes to exercise in the mornings. I’ll be back in about thirty?” He pulled his phone from the table by the door and flicked it on, dialing Sam’s number quickly. Using his freehand, Steve shoved his keys and wallet in his jeans. He headed towards the bedroom to switch into running clothes, without even thinking about the fact that his stuff would still be in his jeans. He was always scattered after a night terror episode, unlike his normal very organized self.

“Mm’kay,” TJ yawned again, following Steve into the bedroom and flopping onto the bed, “and I’ll be _sleeping_ while you get all sweaty and disgusting.”

Phil waddled in and wagged his tail enthusiastically, yipping in excitement as Steve threw TJ a grin and changed pants. He kept the red shirt on. “Yup, you enjoy yourself, pet. But don’t forget to feed Luna and do her litter box.” He finished texting Sam and slid the phone in the pocket of his running pants.

“ _So bossy_ ,” TJ grumbled, voice muffled by the pillow he’d thrown his face into.

Laughing, Steve headed from the bedroom and grabbed Phil’s leash, attaching it to the puppy’s collar. Phil quivered in nervous anticipation, unsure of this new game but quite willing to play whatever Steve wanted to. “See ya in about thirty, pet, and that litter box better be clean, ‘cause I ain’t doing it!” He let himself out, letting the apartment lock behind him.

“Yeah, have fun,” TJ called even after the door had closed. After a few minutes and the inability to fall back asleep, TJ grumbled to himself and pushed off the bed with a huff. Luna showed the inclination of all cats to get directly underfoot while purring her affection, then gave a disgruntled yowl and glare as TJ stumbled over her. She shot into the living room and up the couch, fur ruffled and eyes huge, tail lashing. Fortunately, she hadn’t clawed TJ’s bare feet. Barely managing to keep himself upright after stumbling, TJ followed his angry kitten into the living room. He cleaned the litter box and fed Luna, reaching out to carefully pet the cat. The sound of a key in the lock and a soft knock before it opened alerted TJ he was no longer alone with the slowly calming feline. TJ was pouring himself a cup of coffee just as Bucky entered the apartment; flashing his brother a smile, TJ called, “hey, Buck! Want some coffee?”

Bucky’s stiff, worried posture immediately relaxed at TJ’s welcome and he nodded, smiling. “Love some. I left Nat exercising at her bar.” He scooted over onto a stool and glanced towards the bedroom, fighting the ever present ache for TJ; it hadn’t gotten any easier over the past two weeks. “Steve’s usually an early riser . . .”

“He’s running with Sam,” TJ supplied, giving his twin the steaming cup of coffee. Letting his eyes take in Bucky's form, he was still excited from Steve's teasing earlier, practically vibrating with need. His mind instantly wondered what it'd be like for Bucky to leap over the counter and kiss him, for Bucky to _touch_ and _love_ him. TJ tried to quickly push aside those thoughts, however he wasn't very successful. He continued to look at his twin with slightly lust darkened eyes.

Laughing, Bucky nodded, eyes ghosting over TJ’s form. He licked his lips. “Yeah, old habits die hard I guess. Never gave that up.” Bucky took the coffee and added sweetener and cream to it before carefully drinking at the hot liquid. He sighed in contentment. “Damn, I love your coffee more than mine.”

Smirking around the brim of the coffee mug as he took a sip, TJ nodded and then set it down on the counter. He sucked in his bottom lip, trying desperately to think of anything other than how much he wanted to kiss Bucky . . . how he wanted to feel his brother’s fingers touching him all over.

“As long as he has his inhaler, Steve can run for hours.” Bucky glanced at the kitten with a grin. “And she’s settling nicely, isn’t she? Looks happy on the back of the couch. We don’t let Sascha get on the backs of the chairs, just the seats. Claws and stuff.” Bucky tried to latch onto anything to keep his mind and hands from TJ’s lean body, beautiful mouth. He’d wanted to come up and make sure his twin had fared okay after the sudden appearance of Rumlow, the fight, but now, it might not have been a good idea to come alone. Bucky hadn’t expected Steve to be gone.

“Oh, yeah,” TJ nodded, looking over at the kitten, “she really likes Phil.” He looked back at Bucky and his eyes softened a bit, “you were checking on me, weren’t you?”

Drawing a breath, Bucky cupped his coffee mug in both hands, the heat soothing his old injury. Nodding, he met his brother’s eyes. “Yeah. You were pretty torn up last night. I . . .” Bucky gulped and said, softly, “I just wanted you to know that I’m not surprised? Drugs and fame go hand in hand, TJ. I’d be more surprised if you _hadn’t_ tried anything stuck in that world?”

Biting his bottom lip, TJ sighed and ran his hand through his hair, the bruises on his scalp had long since healed, “after being forced to come out . . . I just - - it was an escape, ya know? But, I’m clean now . . . have been for two years.”

“I’m a nicotine fiend,” Bucky admitted. “Not hard core, but something that Nat’s been trying to get me to quit. Haven’t been able to.” He reached out his left hand and clasped TJ’s shoulder then pulled back at his brother’s wince, frowning. When had his brother hurt his arm? “Just wanted to say I’m proud you’re clean, and I don’t hold it against you that you started or anything. But . . . but TJ, if you wanna start them back up? Come to me? I wanna help you through anything that might be hurting you.” He didn’t realize he’d echoed Steve request of last night.

“Buck . . . I - - I want to tell you something . . . but you gotta promise not to freak out, okay?” TJ looked nervous, eyes meeting his twin’s.

Putting the half-finished coffee on the island counter top, Bucky took a deep breath and let it out. Slowly he nodded. “Okay, I’ll listen, TJ.”

“You know . . . uh - - two weeks ago? When I went back for my lesson plans?” TJ started.

“And Brock attacked you,” Bucky said. He frowned severely at the idea that Brock would even _touch_ TJ, let alone be getting away with that attack. His eyes trailed worriedly over his twin, unable to resist the temptation of at least looking.

“He - - he kept saying _things_ about us . . .” TJ said softly, eyes meeting his twin’s.

“Yeah, he tried to rape Nat a couple of years ago, right before Christmas. I found her a mess, TJ and that’s when I proposed. We were dating anyway, but I wanted to have the right to . . . well, I sound like a caveman now, don’t I?” Pausing, Bucky met TJ’s eyes, realizing TJ hadn’t gone along the expected conversation Bucky thought he would. “Us? You and me? What could Brock possibly say about us?”

TJ took a deep breath before continuing, “he somehow figured out . . . Bucky . . . he knows how I feel about you . . .” the smaller brunet winced as the words left his mouth, pale eyes filled with worry and fear. Bucky had the right to know that Brock had figured out one of TJ’s secrets, a secret that he’d be struggling to keep buried for the last four weeks.

Bucky’s eyes held worry. “He knows or made it up as an insult? He . . . might’ve only been randomly spouting shit, TJ.”

TJ shook his head, sighing and looking down at his hands, his cracked and chipped nails were one of the only physical injuries he was still healing from, “no, he _knew_. It - - he wasn’t just making it up . . . he - - he said he noticed the looks between us. I’m sorry, Bucky . . . I can understand if this makes you uncomfortable . . . but, I thought you should know.”

“Damn, I’m so sorry, TJ!” Bucky drew a shaky breath. “I thought I was being careful, not looking and stuff, you know?” He flushed.

Looking back at his twin, TJ licked his lips nervously, “you don’t have anything to be sorry about. This is my fault . . . I came back and fucked up everything . . . I’m sorry. I’d go back to DC if I thought I could . . . but . . .” TJ sighed, looking defeated.

“No!” Bucky grabbed TJ and pulled him into a tight, nearly desperate, hug. “Don’t leave, please!” He buried his face in his brother’s neck, unable to resist giving a tiny kiss to the skin there.

TJ returned the hug, matching Bucky’s desperation, “I - - I can’t go back now . . . being away from you . . . it’d hurt too much, baby brother.” TJ kissed Bucky’s temple.

Turning his head, Bucky caught TJ’s lips in a small moan of need. His hands came up to caress at TJ’s hips, fingers inching under the hem of his shirt slightly.

Keening into the kiss, TJ tilted his head to better fit their lips together. He pressed into Bucky’s touch, one hand lifting to tangle in Bucky’s hair while the other moved down to caress over his twin’s hipbone. Nothing about this felt wrong . . . being with Bucky like this, it felt right . . . like TJ was made to be Bucky’s.

Hands moving up under TJ’s shirt, caressing the flesh he found with hungry hands, Bucky deepened the kiss. He slid his hands to TJ’s back and tugged his brother against him, already filling in desire. “Teej . . .” he whispered against his twin’s lips. “God . . .” Bucky broke the kiss but continued to hold TJ, breathing hard as he buried his face in TJ’s shoulder.

“Don’t stop . . . please, Bucky . . .” TJ whimpered, his hand releasing Bucky’s hair to trace down his brother’s spine. “Feels right, Buck. Please?”

“Wanna so bad, TJ. But . . .” he lifted his head and slid his hands from TJ’s body. “We gotta stop, big brother, gotta control ourselves."

“Why?” TJ asked, his heart breaking as Bucky moved his hands; his tone took on a desperate edge, “why do we have to stop?”

Shaking his head, Bucky stroked down TJ’s cheek with his right hand. “Because we’re both with someone else?”

“Steve knows . . . he knows how I feel about you,” TJ tried anything he could think of to keep this moment going, for Bucky to not shut down again.

“My wife knows, too,” Bucky said softly.

Leaning in again, nimble fingers ghosting up and down Bucky’s spine, TJ kissed his twin again, “please, Bucky . . .”

“I want to, TJ, God, how I want to.” Bucky shook his head and returned the kiss after a moment. “But if we do this, people aren’t going to understand.”

“Fuck them, I don’t care what _other_ people think, Buck. I care about _you_ ,” TJ breathed against his twin’s lips, “but, I won’t keep pushing if you really wanna stop.” He pulled back just slightly to open the option to his brother.

Letting out a frustrated huff of breath, Bucky leaned his forehead against TJ’s, chasing his brother’s touch. “I love you. I love Natasha. I married her to protect her from Brock. I can't hurt her . . . I,” he lifted his eyes, “I need to discuss this with her, brother mine. Be open with her.”

Nodding, TJ swallowed and pulled away from Bucky, though putting distance between them was like driving a stake through his heart. Turning back into the kitchen, TJ tried to take deep breaths in order to calm himself down.

“I want to be with you, TJ, I swear. I just need to be open with Natasha first,” Bucky said softly.

“I know,” TJ muttered, opening the fridge to see what they had stocked for food. Frowning at the low supplies, he shut the fridge and sighed. Of course he understood where Bucky was coming from; TJ didn’t want to hurt Natasha either . . . but, he wanted his twin _so bad_ , he ached for him.

“I’m guessing that you’d want to discuss this with Steve. You and he are together now? ” Bucky offered a smile, easing his stance to accommodate his neglected erection. “Steve’s a good guy, TJ. I’ve known him twenty years. Been together for most of that, except that eight or nine months he was in the military.”

“Wait . . . military?” TJ’s eyes widened, looking at his brother.

“Yeah, in 2009.” Bucky grabbed his coffee again and sipped at the still warm brew.

“ _Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell_ ,” TJ paled, looking physically ill; all his own problems and frustrations momentarily forgotten.

Nodding, Bucky met TJ’s eyes with curiosity, obviously he didn’t know about Steve’s time in the military much. “Yeah, must’ve been hard, but he seemed to have kept it quiet until he got hurt in action over in Kosovo.”

“That’s why none of the rapists were charged . . .” TJ mused to himself, suddenly understanding Steve’s reaction and need to keep his sexuality hidden.

“Rapists?” Bucky froze, stiffening, “what the hell are you talking about, TJ? What rapists?”

“Steve’s? He was . . . Oh my God . . . you didn’t know! He didn’t tell you?” TJ felt guilt rush through him; he’d just assumed that Steve would’ve told Bucky.

Shaking his head, putting the mug back on the counter and feeling his stomach twist, Bucky said, “no. Steve never talks about the military. He was raped?” Bucky felt physically ill, as much as when Brock had attacked TJ. His hands clenched and anger surged through the lean, muscular man. He wanted to hunt down whoever hurt his best friend and rip him apart.

TJ nodded, swallowing thickly, “Yeah . . . I guess he was involved with another soldier or something . . . the guy tricked him . . . he - - he was gang-raped, Buck.”

Paling at that admission, Bucky let his left hand curl over his roiling stomach. He shook his head. “But . . . my god! Why’d he never tell me? Why’d he . . . and Steve continually refuses counseling for anything, though Nat has suggested she thought he might have something in his past. We thought maybe his mom’s or dad’s deaths . . .” Bucky shook his head again. “He needs help . . . and . . . my God, you said they weren’t arrested or anything? Didn’t Steve report it?”

“It’s why he was asked to leave the military . . . they said he should’ve never told anyone he was open to sex with men . . . that he _asked for it_ ,” his anger was evident in his tone.

“ _Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell_ . . .” Bucky repeated TJ’s earlier comment, “if he tells, he gets punished, like he deserves to be attacked and hurt? My God, I never really thought about how fucking dangerous that bill was!” Meeting TJ’s eyes, Bucky said, “Steve said he was medically discharged from the Army for a severe injury he got serving in Kosovo during the war . . .”

“It was a bunch of soldiers while he was serving overseas in Kosovo,” TJ sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

Shaking his head, Bucky said softly, “Steve had always been Army-mad while we were kids. He was afraid his asthma and his underweight status would prevent his joining like his dad had. But when we were eighteen, he had this massive growth spurt, stopped looking twelve and looked like a full adult. He signed up the day after graduation.” Bucky shuddered. “He never looked so proud, but he held off going until he finished college, going in as an officer instead. He was a lieutenant and had plans to make Captain, like his dad had.” Bucky couldn’t help talking about Steve’s dreams, so cruelly crushed. And he’d thought his best friend had to leave because of honest war injuries, not a debilitating attack done _on_ him. “He was only in for nine months when he came home and refused to talk about it, going to physical therapy but refusing to let me come along.”

“He was so ashamed by it . . . that just talking to me about it . . . he had an asthma attack last night and a pretty severe night terror,” TJ frowned, eyes worried.

“Steve still gets night terrors?” Bucky shook his head - - how much he didn’t know about his best friend any more. “My God, TJ, he needs counseling . . . help . . . maybe even medicine.”

“I _know_ ,” TJ nodded, “I’ve been trying to think of a way to convince him to at least try to get help . . . but I don’t wanna push him too fast.”

Bucky could see TJ’s natural fear of _making the wrong decision_ was intervening in his taking control and helping his new boyfriend get the help he needed. “I’ll push,” Bucky claimed firmly. “He’s been in pain for seven years, TJ. I’m not gonna let it go longer. I’ll talk to him.”

“Thank you,” TJ looked grateful, “I just - - we’re still in such a new relationship, ya know?”

Bucky pulled TJ into a firm hug, this time more supportive than lust-driven, “I know, TJ. I don’t want you to lose that, either. I think you guys are pretty lost and maybe finding each other's the best thing to happen to you.” He wished _he_ could be the best thing to happen to his brother, but . . . there were so many obstacles. Bucky leaned back enough to offer a small, hopeful smile to his twin. “You gonna be okay with this? With Steve and his trauma? I don’t think he’ll be able to force himself to come out, now I know what’s been holding him back.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time . . . I wanna help him, Bucky, and if that mean - -” TJ took a deep breath, “if that means never _officially_ coming out as a couple.” TJ shook his head; he liked Steve . . . and he knew that if Bucky weren’t in the picture, TJ would be completely content with the beautiful blond . . . but, no matter what he and Steve did there was always something _missing_.

“I saw him holding hands with you under the table at the club, TJ,” Bucky said softly. “He really is trying. And, is it so bad? I mean, yeah, you want the world to know you’re with him, but is it so bad getting to keep him to yourself? It’s not like Steve’s dating anyone else or anything. Everyone just thinks he’s a confirmed bachelor not interested in dating.” He softly brushed his hand over TJ’s, unable to resist just touching his twin; it felt so natural.

“At least he’s not married,” TJ said softly, shaking himself and then smiling gently at Bucky. He really had a bad history with married men . . . and he was worried that whatever was happening with him and Bucky would end in the same, disastrous outcome.

“Not even close. Even when he dated Peggy, it was more like she was in a holding pattern, waiting for something else, and he was willing to just go with that.” Bucky touched TJ’s hand. “I really think he was in it because he craved someone to love and be with, someone who wouldn’t judge him. Peggy was one to keep her opinion honest and Steve could trust her. She was the dominant one in that pairing,” he mused.

“He said something about that, yeah,” TJ nodded and his head snapped up as the front door opened again, never having been locked after Bucky came in.

Steve glanced over with a sheepish smile. “Hey, forgot my keys and wallet, pet, thought I’d have to knock. Buck!” He walked in with a panting, wagging puppy and unhooked the leash, his t-shirt and sweats clinging with the sweat he’d built up on his run. He headed into the kitchenette to give Phil food and water, leaning over to kiss TJ’s neck briefly, reminding himself that Bucky knew, that he could freely touch TJ in front of his best friend. He saw the hand touching of the twins but deliberately ignored it.

TJ looked to his twin, pale eyes flashing with worry.

Bucky turned and watched Steve for a moment before nodding firmly. “Steve, TJ and I have been talking. Well, I’m going to be real blunt, because you respond better to straight out. I think you need to get some counseling for trauma. You can’t keep this rape buried forever, Steve.” He stood and moved towards Steve who whirled, shock on his face and fear in his eyes.

“What?” He glanced to TJ almost desperately. “How . . .” looking back at Bucky, Steve ran a hand over the back of his neck and stuttered, “how d - d - did you . . . know?”

TJ flinched, he curled into himself, “I - - I told him, Steve . . . I - - I thought he . . . already knew . . .”

“You . . .” Steve turned back to TJ, eyes wide and wounded, the blue darkened with sudden pain. He shook his head. “We . . . I . . . I thought our business was our own?” He turned and strode quickly to the bedroom, shutting the door with a soft thump.

“I’m sorry! I thought he knew!” TJ followed his boyfriend, eyes widening in sudden panic; he looked at the door for a moment before carefully opening it.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands, slumped in dejection. His body shuddered softly though he made no noise.

“Steve? I’m sorry . . . I really - - I thought you’d told him already . . . but - - he’s right . . . you need help . . .” TJ stepped closer to the bed, looking guilty and worried.

Lifting a tear-streaked, devastated look, Steve shook his head, mutely. He buried his head back into his hands and curled defensively, pulling away from where TJ stood, as if trying to protect himself from physical blows.

Blinking back tears, TJ swallowed and tried again, “Steve . . . you - - you won’t get better . . . without help . . . I’m sorry I told him - - I . . .”

Finally, Steve whispered, “I don’t get help. They won’t treat me for . . . they . . . I told. Okay? I told, and I got punished. Now I know, telling isn’t good.” He lifted his face again, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t do it. I can’t come out, TJ. I know I said I would, but I can’t . . .” He wanted to be _clean_.

“Let’s not worry about that _right_ now, okay? I already said we’d take things at your pace . . . and I meant that. I’m talking about seeing a counselor for rape trauma, Steve,” TJ chewed his bottom lip.

“A counselor won’t see me because I can’t be cured from being who I am, TJ, it’s not something they can treat.” Steve shook his head, curling his arms protectively around himself, unaware of Bucky stepping into the doorway and watching quietly, phone in one hand.

“Listen to me, Steve,” TJ said firmly, his tone harder than Steve had ever heard it, “We aren’t talking about going to counseling for sexuality . . . you’d go for PTSD from the trauma of your attack.”

“I’m trying to tell you they already said they won’t treat me!” Steve yelled and turned into the bedding, shuddering.

“Have you seen a doctor outside of the military, Steve?” TJ tried to keep himself calm, to not let Steve’s obvious anger and fear get to him.

Shaking his head in the pillow, Steve shuddered again. “No . . . no one needs to know. Told enough people . . . hurts too much, TJ.”

Stepping closer, TJ hesitated and then gently placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder, “you need help, Steve . . . please.”

Steve turned and wrapped strong, shaking around around TJ’s waist, burying his face in TJ’s lap and sobbing. “I . . . I can’t, baby. I . . . I told. I was punished.”

“Can you try just one session? Just to see if might help?” TJ tried again, “just one . . . if you hate it . . . I’ll drop it.”

Slowly, Steve stilled in TJ’s lap, his breathing calmer and his sobs dying away. He still trembled, but TJ’s voice, his pain, seeped through the fear of discovery, the hurt of betrayal. Carefully, Steve said, “one time, baby . . . for you. I’ll _try_ , but . . . I know it won’t work. They’ll look at my past and know I was asking for it. That I should’ve kept my damn mouth shut.”

“You weren’t asking for it, Steve,” TJ said gently.

“Of course I was. I knew, Momma told me, the priests told me, the _recruiters_ told me. Keep it to myself.”

“Steve, _you were not asking for it_ ,” TJ reassured again, “you’re open to love people of different genders and sexualities . . . and that’s perfectly fine. Your sexuality doesn’t give anyone the right to hurt you.”

Slowly, Steve looked up from TJ’s lap. He searched his boyfriend’s eyes . . . TJ was still his boyfriend, he hoped, after such weakness last night and this morning. Slowly, he said, “and needing love doesn’t make you weak or deserving of a rape, either, TJ.” He held his breath, waiting for TJ’s reaction.

TJ sighed, running his fingers through Steve's short blond hair. “Steve . . .” His eyes flickered over to look at his brother and then settled back on his boyfriend. “What happened . . . between Brock and I is . . . _complicated_. I'm not excusing his behavior . . .” TJ took another deep breath and let it out. “He raped me . . . I know that,” TJ swallowed and shook his head, his head snapped to the bedroom doorway where Bucky stood when the sound of the front door opening and closing echoed through the apartment.

Natasha stepped up behind Bucky, looking worried.

Steve’s eyes trailed to Natasha and he sighed. “I suppose it’s fitting that I have no privacy.” He sounded convinced that the lack stemmed directly from everything he’d done himself. The Army had been the worst mistake of his life.

“I told her,” Bucky claimed and moved to sink onto the bed beside his best friend. “Because we care . . . we want to help you, Steve.”

Natasha took Bucky’s place at the doorway, she watched the three men closely, her worried expression not leaving her face.

“This is different from what happened with Brock, Buck,” Steve said softly. “TJ’s the victim here. I . . . I told and got what I deserved.”

“You are what?” TJ asked softly, “you’re not a victim? Steve, you trusted someone and they took advantage of that trust. What did you tell me when we got home from the hospital? Brock took my choice away from me, just like those men took your choice away from you. _You are a victim_ , Steve. They hurt you . . .”

Steve drew in a slow breath, eyes wide. He shuddered and looked shocked as something sunk in when put in that context: he hadn’t deserved it, either. If saying no meant it had been involuntary, whether it started that way or not, then . . . then it had been rape, and rape . . . Steve truly believed rape was unacceptable. He drew in another breath and asked, almost terrified of the answer, “TJ? Would you really go _with_ me?” He bit his lip; he had to do this for TJ . . . and himself. His blue eyes held worry and uncertainty.

TJ tilted his head slightly and asked “go where?”

Steve glanced over at Bucky then back at TJ. Softly, he said, “to a session?”

“You mean counseling?” TJ look confused.

Flushing red, Steve kept looking at TJ’s face.

TJ smiled softly, though his eyes were still worried, “Steve? Where do you think I go every Thursday night?”

“You go to counseling?” Steve frowned, uncertain if the counseling was helping TJ if he went every week . . . it didn’t seem to have made a difference.

“Well . . .” TJ rubbed the back of his neck, “I know it's not the _exact_ same thing . . . but I go to Narcotics Anonymous. I used to have therapy sessions every Monday back in DC, just haven't gotten around to finding a therapist here in New York.”

“If I go to a counselor for . . . post traumatic . . . and he turns me away, saying there wasn’t a trauma, what then?” Steve began to wring his hands together again, like the night before.

“He or she _won't_ , Steve,” TJ tried to reassure his nervous boyfriend, “look, I know the military really hurt you, how they treated you after your attack was horrible. I . . . no therapist is going to demean you, okay?”

Steve nodded, looking doubtful. “Okay, and you’ll come with me? Please?” He flushed a bit more at the pleading in his tone. Steve didn't’ want to put TJ through the same rejection and shame he’d felt seven years ago, but . . . Steve couldn’t go . . . not without help, someone who understood him.

TJ nodded, offering Steve another gentle smile, “yeah, I'll go with you. I've been looking around and have a few different choices lined up. I'll show you them and you can help pick?”

“You lined up rape counselors?” Steve sounded confused. “So your counseling is _only_ for the past usage, not for what Brock did?”

TJ flushed and ducked his head, “I haven’t found a counselor here in New York, Steve. So, I haven’t been to one since before the attack. I go to Narcotics Anonymous, which isn’t quite the same thing . . . but it’s helped. There were some days after the attack I was - -”

“Tempted?” Steve asked softly, his manner accepting, not condemning. He got up and walked over to his boyfriend, taking his hand. He leaned forward and touched his forehead to TJ’s in an unconscious echo of Bucky’s move just minutes before. “Okay, we go together to one session?” Steve felt like he could do more when he was one on one with TJ somehow.

“One session,” TJ echoed, looking at his lover.

Taking a deep breath, Bucky cleared his throat. “Since, yeah, this is going to sound fucking intrusive, but since we’re all here . . .” he looked to TJ, licking his lips. “I wasn’t sure if we should just openly talk about how TJ and I feel about each other? It hasn’t gone away just because he moved in with Steve. I . . . I still feel . . .” Bucky drifted off, looking to Natasha from his spot on the bed.

“How do you feel, James?” Natasha asked softly, knowing that for anything to move forward between TJ and Bucky, Bucky would need to accept his feelings.

Flushing, Bucky stiffened his spine and faced his wife directly. “I want to be lovers with my twin. I can’t help it. I just feel natural and right with him.” He ran a hand through his long hair, “I still love you, Natasha . . . this is . . . different.”

Nodding, Natasha gave her husband a smile, “the love you feel for me and the love you feel for TJ is different.” Over the past two weeks, she had done a lot of thinking about the odd circumstance . . . she had come to terms with her husband’s feelings for his twin.

“But it’s incest,” Bucky’s voice dropped off to a whisper and he let his eyes trail over to TJ, guilt and need warring in his expressive face.

Clearing his throat, pushing back his own needs for the needs of his friends - - his loved and trusted friends, Steve ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Mind if I get out of these sweaty clothes and cleaned up? I . . . uh . . . don’t mind if we take the conversation to the bathroom if that’s okay?” He looked to TJ then Natasha and Bucky, who he’d known for years.

TJ blinked, seeming a little surprised by the sudden request. He looked at Steve and shrugged, “I guess?”

Steve captured Natasha’s eyes, trying to let her know it was most likely time to start advancing their plan. Surrounded by his friends, the people he loved, the recent trauma and shock were wearing off and he could concentrate on the needs and desires and uncertainty of the twins instead, pushing down once more his own problems.

Natasha nodded, understanding Steve’s cue, “alright.”

Steve grabbed some fresh clothes and headed to the bathroom, leaving the door open wide. He stripped quickly and started the water. Glancing over, he asked, on a small, almost nervous laugh, “anyone else wanna join me? I don’t mind.”

“I’ll join you, Steve,” Natasha said, stripping off her shirt as she walked to the bathroom, “didn’t get a chance to clean up after my workout.”

Blinking in surprise, Bucky looked at his wife. “Wait a minute . . . Nat? Are . . .” he knew Steve had been extremely worried about Natasha back a couple years before during her Rumlow problems, but his relationship with Peggy had prevented him doing anything. Now, he wondered if there had been something between the pair after all . . . something his own rush into the protective marriage had curtailed. “You and Steve?” he asked, softly, eyes wide.

“Yes, James, me and Steve are taking a shower,” Natasha smiled over her shoulder at her husband, shimmying out of her leggings and underwear before stepping to the shower with the blond.

Steve offered her a smile and allowed her to step closer to the removable shower-head, getting more water than him. “Natasha and I have _not_ been sneaking around behind your back, Buck, so wipe that dirt from your mind.”

Flushing, Bucky shook his head. “Actually, my mind headed a bit dirtier than that.” He looked away, to TJ, then flushed brighter and looked back at his gorgeous wife practically encircled in his best friend’s arms as he grabbed shampoo and began washing it into her hair.

“Am I the only one really, really confused?” TJ asked, eyes wide as he looked at his boyfriend in the shower with Natasha.

“No,” Bucky sighed, “you’re just the one new to our group. Natasha is not shy about her body. She sees it as a tool, not something sexual unless she wants it to be. And . . . I’m not sure about Steve, but I know he trusts us and _knows_ we’d never hurt him. Makes him comfortable with us,” Bucky looked at his twin. “Steve’s never been shy about his body, just his emotions.”

“But . . .” TJ looked at Bucky and then the others in the shower and then back at his twin.

“Or don’t you believe Steve’s asexual? He is, you know,” Bucky said. “Never found anyone particularly _sexually_ attractive.”

“I have now, so I’m gray-asexual, Bucky.” Steve looked over at TJ and offered a small, worried smile. “If this bothers you we can stop?”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” TJ blinked; he wasn’t upset that Steve and Natasha were in the shower together . . . but he didn’t like feeling like he was missing something.

Steve sighed. “Before Natasha and Bucky were married, the three of us used to shower after workouts all the time . . . together, pet. I . . . I guess none of us ever thought to mention it?” He took the shower-head from its wall hanger and began rinsing out the redhead’s glorious locks.

“Oh . . . okay,” TJ walked back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

Bucky flushed. “Sorry, Teej,” he looked back at his wife and best friend. Though nothing sexual was happening, Bucky still was hard, and his mind was wandering to his twin - - to washing him like Steve was washing Natasha. He left the bathroom, following his brother. “TJ?” he whispered.

“Yeah, Buck?” TJ looked over at his twin, still looking a little confused, but like his brother, TJ was still aroused. He’d been aroused since Steve’s teasing earlier that morning and he just kept getting needier and needier as time went by.

“They’re not doing anything sexual in there. I promise,” he wasn’t sure how to explain to TJ; it _was_ his boyfriend in there after all. He sat down on the bed next to TJ.

“It’s not that . . . they could be having sex in there and I wouldn’t be upset. I - - I guess that’s what’s confusing me . . . how is bathing together like that _not_ sexual?” TJ flushed.

Sighing, Bucky lay back on the bed, legs dangling over the edge at the knees. “You know, I’ve only ever gotten erect for three people? I have to feel a very close connection, have to love someone before I can feel stimulated at all?” He knew it was probably the wrong time to bring that up, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to explain his own feelings to TJ, even if he hadn’t really acted on them yet.

“And - - you’ve . . . you got erect for . . .” TJ flushed brighter, eyes trailing down Bucky’s stretched form.

Glancing towards the doorway Bucky turned to face his brother. “For Natasha, Steve, and . . . you, TJ. The only three.” His hard-on was quite evident in his pants. “Thing is, they know that. Both of them know I can only feel sexual towards people I care deeply for. Maybe,” he sighed and reached out his right hand to stroke lightly, almost absently, down TJ’s clothed thigh, “thing is, maybe they think that’s why I can feel sexual for you? Because I love you and my body doesn’t care about genetics?”

“But . . . that doesn’t explain _me_ ,” TJ breathed out; he keened softly under Bucky’s touch, “I can’t . . . I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, Bucky. I’ve tried . . . I really have.”

With a soft growl, Bucky said, “fuck it.” He turned over and nuzzled his face against TJ’s thigh. “Wanna try? See if we can get this feeling to go away once we indulge it?”

Moaning softly, TJ nodded, “yes, God, yes . . .”

Nodding, Bucky crawled onto the bed and lay TJ’s backwards, straddling him while bending over to capture his lips. Bucky’s hands began their exploration, gentle and teasing as he slid under TJ’s shirt, hitching it up his twin’s lean frame. “Damn, did you know you are one of the sexiest creatures on this earth, brother mine?” Bucky kissed at TJ’s neck.

Keening, pushing into Bucky’s touch, TJ extended his neck to give his brother better access. His hands trailed up Bucky’s back, pushing up his twin’s shirt, though he couldn’t quite get it off with the angle he was at. “Buck . . . God, so - - so good . .”

“Mmm . . . you taste good, Teej,” Bucky murmured into his brother’s flesh, breaking the kiss only long enough to pull his shirt off, sitting up to tug TJ’s over his head and toss it aside. He leaned back over and captured one of TJ’s nipples in his hot, wet mouth, sucking lightly.

Moaning, TJ’s back arched and his body felt like it was vibrating with pleasure. “Buck . . . oh - - Bucky . . .” his hands continued to trace Bucky’s flesh, as if trying to commit everything he felt under his fingers to memory.

Neither twin was aware when the shower turned off or the others came into the room. A second pair of hands, large, warm, and calloused, joined in caressing TJ’s flesh, easing his trousers down a bit over his lean hips. Steve leaned over to kiss Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky moaned softly, sucking harder. He may have told Steve _‘no’_ all those years ago, but it didn’t mean he’d never fantasized about having sex with his beautiful best friend.

Natasha walked up behind her husband, her nail trailing down his spine until it reached the waistband of Bucky’s pants. Leaning over, she whispered in Bucky’s ear, “might want to get those off, dear.”

Groaning again, Bucky let go his brother and stopped sucking, drawing back up into a straddled position as he unfastened his trousers with fumbling hands. His lust-blown eyes followed TJ’s every move as Steve continued to caress the writhing brunet.

Whimpering at the loss of Bucky’s mouth, TJ looked up, eyes completely blown, at his twin. Steve’s hands felt so good, but he wanted Bucky. “Buck . . .” TJ keened, arching his back again, chasing his brother’s touch.

Nodding at the sound of need in his brother’s voice, Bucky growled, “get undressed, brother mine. Can’t do this in our clothes.” He lifted his leg over TJ so he was situated on his twin’s left instead of on top of him.

Steve helped to unfasten TJ’s trousers and began sliding them off, strong fingers caressing gently over TJ’s swelling erection.

Groaning, head falling back against the mattress, TJ’s hips lifted off the bed, into Steve’s hands. “So good . . . feels so good . . .” TJ moaned.

As soon as he was naked, Bucky leaned over to nudge Steve away, pleased by his brother’s exposure to him at last. “Brother mine . . .” he groaned as Bucky latched his mouth over the spongy cockhead, sucking then letting his tongue dip across TJ’s slit. “Taste good, big brother. Taste like you belong to me.”

Gasping, fighting the urge to thrust into Bucky’s mouth, TJ whimpered and keened, hands clenching and unclenching around fistfuls of Steve’s comforter.

As Steve began caressing TJ’s abdomen and chest, lightly scratching his nails down TJ’s nipples and over his flat, athletic stomach, Bucky continued to suck and lap, alternating between creating a vacuum on TJ’s cockhead and swirling his tongue over and around the velvety hardness, tasting his twin.

TJ whimpered and keened between gasps of breath. His back arched into Steve’s hands as he fought to keep his hips as still as possible for his brother. “W - - won’t last l - - long if you guys . . . keep this up . . .” TJ managed to moan out, his words slightly slurred, as if drunk on the pleasure he was feeling.

Natasha knelt down, near the edge of the bed and began running her hands up and down TJ’s thighs, careful not to get in the way of her husband.

With a low growling sound in his throat, Bucky popped off TJ’s cockhead and moved down his erection, placing kisses and small licks along his brother’s member. Softly, hot breath and plush lips on TJ’s sensitive flesh, Bucky moaned, “damn, taste good . . . never knew . . .”

TJ lost the ability to form words, his voice coming out in desperate, needy keens and whimpers. His chest heaved and he finally lifted one hand to tangle in Bucky’s hair, with a gentle tug, he brought his brother up and crashed their lips together, his tongue immediately swiping at his twin’s lower lip, trying to get access to his mouth.

Parting his lips, Bucky’s tongue slid into TJ’s mouth, tasting, teasing. He brought his hands over to replace Steve’s on TJ’s chest, tweaking and pulling lightly at his nipples. Growling once more, Bucky breathed out, “so sweet, Teej. Need you so much. Love you, big brother.”

“Love you, Buck . . . please . . . want you, need you . . .” TJ nipped at Bucky’s bottom lip, tugging and pulling gently with his teeth, his one hand still wrapped in his twin’s hair while the other moved to run down Bucky’s back, dragging his nails down the flesh.

Lifting his head, Bucky captured and held TJ’s eyes with his own. Bucky moved one leg over TJ’s hips to straddle him, his erection brushing against TJ’s, sending a thrill between the two brothers. “TJ . . . need you . . .”

“Take me, brother,” TJ whimpered, “please, take me. Love me, Buck.”

“Don’t know how, brother mine. Never been with a guy.” Bucky transferred his kiss to TJ’s neck and began to kiss and lick. “Don’t wanna hurt you . . .”

Natasha opened the bedside drawer and pulled out some lube that she found there. Standing up, she brushed her hand down her husband’s arm and held out the lube. “Coat your fingers in this, dear. Start with one . . . you have to stretch him.”

Bucky looked up at his wife and nodded. Looking back at TJ, he carefully ran his right hand over his twin’s buttocks and down to hesitantly touch his fluttering opening. “You sure you want this, TJ?”

Steve looked over and offered Natasha a smile. He maneuvered around on the bed so he could face the others, still next to TJ and able to lap and nip at his chest.

“Yes . . . yes, I want it, please . . . Bucky,” TJ gasped out, unable to keep his hips completely still as they canted to gently meet Bucky’s hand. He continued to rise and fall to push into Steve’s touch, the sensations threatening to overwhelm him.

Leaning over to kiss TJ’s pelvis, right above his member, Bucky pulled his hand away from TJ’s passage and reached for the lube his wife held. He offered her a flushed smile, eyes eager. “Help me, Natasha?”

Nodding, she opened the lube and generously coated the fingers of her husband’s right hand.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Bucky cooed to her and gave her his prettiest smile, eyes alight with anticipation. He turned back and gently parted his brother’s buttocks with his left hand. Carefully, Bucky did as his wife had instructed and began to massage around TJ’s passage, caressing and pressing along the ring of muscle there.

Moaning softly, TJ’s hips canted again, desperate for his brother to enter him. He had developed a full body flush, and his breathing came out in needy little whimpers.

“Oh, TJ, you’re okay,” Bucky cooed. “I’ve got you, brother mine. I’ll treat you right.” He leaned further down to place a kiss on one of TJ’s inner thighs. Straightening a bit, Bucky began to massage and press again, slipping the tip of his finger in carefully, just to the first knuckle. He caressed around TJ’s tight heat, sucking in his breath in wonder. “So hot . . . so tight . . .”

Keening as his brother breached him, TJ’s hands clenched around the comforter, his back arched and his blown pale-blue eyes met with Steve’s.

Steve smiled and kissed TJ’s lips, whispering, “so beautiful, pet. Such a good boy.”

“‘M a good boy,” TJ breathed out, hips stuttering as he tried to take more of his brother.

Glancing up, smiling, Bucky said, “you sure are, Teej. Such a good, beautiful boy.” Bucky eased his finger to the second knuckle, working it around slightly, twisting and curving. Fascinated by the sounds and expressions his twin produced, Bucky worked his finger further and curved, inadvertently stroking over a bundle of nerves deep inside.

Moaning loud, seeing white as his brother stroked his prostate, TJ’s back arched and his hips pushed to meet Bucky’s finger. “Right there, Buck . . . God, you feel so good . . .”

“There?” Bucky grinned. “You like that there?” He stroked again.

Steve murmured against TJ’s lips, “his prostate, Buck. Do that too much we’re likely to make him cum before you get to enter him.”

Whimpering, TJ kissed Steve, desperate and needy. His hips continued to roll down against Bucky.

Steve kissed back, opening his mouth to deepen the contact, letting his tongue slide across TJ’s to taste and explore. His hands moved down to caress and massage TJ’s chest, rolling his nipples with slight pinches amid his kneading.

Bucky finished sliding his finger the rest of the way in, his hand bottoming out. With his left hand, he reached down to cup TJ’s heavy balls, weighing them, fondling carefully. He kissed TJ’s belly with each wriggle and stroke of his finger inside.

“Buck . . .” TJ gasped, hips lifting off the bed. “God, Buck . . . please - - want you . . .” TJ’s skin was misted with sweat, and small little keens and breathless moans continued to escape his lips.

Natasha stepped closer to Bucky, leaning in to whisper against her husband’s ear, she said, “you can move on to a second, James. You won’t hurt him.” She nipped at his earlobe.

“You said make sure he’s stretched . . . open . . .” Bucky licked at TJ’s belly, eyes moving over to Natasha’s beautiful face. He paused, as if thinking through a problem then began sliding his finger out, stroking around until he once again found TJ’s prostrate and smiled at the reaction he got. “You _like_ that, big brother,” he crooned in delight.

“Yes, yes . . .” TJ moaned loud, “God, yes, Buck. You know how to make me feel good, brother. Want more . . . please, Buck . . .” By then, TJ’s body was vibrating with need, the need to be filled and loved by his twin. “God, I ache for you, Buck . . . please . . .”

Nodding, Bucky slid his finger completely from his brother’s passage then lined up once again, gently massaging around the muscle ring with two lubed fingers. He worked them in slowly, twisting, curving, scissoring to stretch his brother’s tight heat. “So hot for me, brother mine!” He leaned over to kiss TJ’s belly again, his other hand working his sac once more.

Whimpering, keening, TJ looked at his twin and then Steve. He squirmed as he tried to push his brother’s fingers deeper. He met his boyfriend’s eyes and let out another needy keen when he wasn’t able to get Bucky deep enough.

Chuckling lightly at his boyfriend’s needy attempts, Steve reached over to stroke his fingers over TJ’s neck and shoulder, following with nips and kisses. Below, Bucky curved his fingers to caress over TJ’s prostrate inside his hot passage. He lapped at TJ’s abdomen in time with his strokes.

Groaning, TJ felt himself getting close with Bucky’s continual stroking. “Gonna . . . not - - Buck . . .” TJ struggled to voice his warning; he knew if his twin continued to massage his prostate, he’d cum a lot sooner than intended.

Stilling at the warning note in his twin’s voice, Bucky lifted his mouth and studied his brother’s eyes. “You ever been able to cum more than once in a night?” he asked, breathlessly, keeping both hands still.

Moaning, TJ nodded, and breathlessly answered, “four . . .”

“And can being filled make you cum or do you need other stimulation?” Bucky still didn’t move, letting his twin gain some semblance of control.

“No . . . don’t - - don’t need . . .” TJ whimpered and rolled his hips, despite his warning, he kept chasing that incredible feeling. “Please . . . Buck . . .”

“Is that so?” Bucky chuckled and began slipping his fingers the rest of the way inside, bottoming out once more. “Never heard of that, before.” He leaned over to kiss TJ’s belly then lap into his navel, rimming the small area. His left hand slid back to join his right and he began imitating his tongue, using his left forefinger to caress lightly around his two fingers.

“God . . . Buck!” TJ moaned, his member twitched, steadily leaking precum against his abdomen. “‘M close . . . so close, baby brother . . .”

“You gonna wait for me to catch up or . . .” Bucky pumped his two fingers in and out, twisting to make sure to open his brother, “you want me to push into you after you finish one?” He traced his lips down to one hip bone and kissed the area.

Moaning, TJ gasped and canted his hips. “I - - I can wait . . . if you want, Buck - - whatever . . . whatever you want . . .”

“So,” Bucky slipped his fingers from TJ’s passage again and leaned down further to kiss TJ’s inner thigh again, “you want me to tell you when to cum? But that means I can tell you you’re not allowed . . . make you hold off for as long as I like? Keep you needy and on edge?” Bucky massaged three fingers around TJ’s rim and smiled at how relaxed his brother was, how ready he seemed. Bucky glanced to Natasha for instruction once more.

Quietly, so TJ could hear them but not make out all the words, Natasha said, “he’s been pretty active, James, he won’t need as much prep.” She ran her nail down Bucky’s spine, kissing the shell of his ear.

A low groan escaped Bucky as his wife touched him, lightly scratched him. He looked down at his twin and judged just how ready TJ might be. Beginning to slide three fingers inside, he felt no resistance so stopped and pulled back once more. Instead, he gripped his own cock with his left hand and lined himself up. “Ready, brother mine? Want me to fill you up?” He pressed lightly but stopped before he could breach TJ’s passage, letting his twin feel what was coming.

Moaning, TJ’s back arched off the bed and he nodded, “God, yes. Please, Buck . . . wanna feel you . . .” His hips rolled, pressing his opening against the tip of Bucky’s member. His cock twitched again, showing just how close he was. “‘M close . . . Buck . . .”

“So, if I push in, you’re gonna cum all over the three of us? I wanna feel that, Teej . . . you squeezing me as you lose all control.” Bucky carefully pushed into his brother, sliding in slowly, bit by bit, until he bottomed out. “Cum for me, big brother. Show me how much you love me in you,” he growled against TJ’s shoulder-bone.

With a cry, TJ arched off the bed and came, striping his abdomen and chest, as well as his brother’s, with thick, white cum. “Buck! Feel so good! Love you . . .”

Eyes wide and blown near-black, Bucky held still and deep as his brother’s body convulsed around him. “God, TJ! Yes, oh, God . . . my brother . . .” Bucky groaned and leaned over to nuzzle at TJ’s neck then turned his head to capture Steve’s mouth in a deep, desperate kiss. Steve responded enthusiastically, his hand going down to stroke over TJ’s cock, spreading around his cum and beginning to stroke him back to fullness.

TJ keened, watching his brother and boyfriend kiss with wide, blown eyes. Steve’s hand on his shaft, already filling once more, felt so good. He thrust his hips, pushing Bucky just that much deeper into his passage.

With a low growl, Bucky began pulling back out then slammed in once more. He increased his strokes rapidly, deep and long and full, clutching his brother’s hips to balance himself.

Steve broke his kiss from Bucky and turned his head, holding his hand out to Natasha, “c’mere, Tasha. Come join us.”

Taking Steve’s hand, Natasha crawled onto the bed, next to the twins, and crashed her lips onto Steve’s.

Letting out a small moan of delight, Steve responded just as quickly to Natasha’s kiss as he had to Bucky’s. He pulled Natasha over himself, helping her to straddle his waist, lifting and guiding his member towards her hot wet passage. “C’mon, Natasha . . . you need your own pleasure, too,” he coaxed between kisses.

Moaning softly, Natasha slowly eased herself on Steve’s cock, his thickness stretching her walls.

Turning his head, Steve caught TJ’s mouth into a kiss then Bucky’s and moved back to Natasha, sharing his love equally among the three, holding his very large member still as Natasha became accustomed to him; he wasn’t used to such a petite body in his arms.

Bucky continued to thrust, sharing the occasional kiss with his own wife, his brother, and his best friend, mainly concentrating on TJ and his slender, delectable neck and flushed lips.

TJ met his brother, thrust for thrust, breathless moans and keens filling the room as Bucky filled him over and over again. “Buck . . . God, feel so good . . . so _right_ . . . love you . . . love you, brother . . .”

Bucky was close to his own release after such foreplay, watching his twin lover cum so prettily. He began to lose his rhythm, though he tried desperately to keep it going. “Close, Teej . . .” he moaned out as his hips stuttered, dragging his cock over TJ’s prostate with each new thrust. “Love you so much, big brother. Need to fill you so full . . . want you so full, you can’t hold everything I give you . . .”

Mouth dropping open from the new angle that made his body light up with pleasure with each and every thrust, it only took a few more of Bucky’s powerful thrusts before TJ came once more with a moan of pure erotic pleasure. His second orgasm was only a little weaker than the first, showing that he most likely hadn’t been lying when he said he’d come four times in one night. His walls convulsed and tightened around his twin’s cock as TJ painted his and Bucky’s torsos once more in thick, hot stripes of cum.

Just as TJ released again, his body clenching and milking at his twin’s member, Bucky let out a loud cry of orgasmic pleasure, hot ropes of thick white cum filling his twin’s rectum, spurt after spurt coating and overfilling him. “TJ! My God! Yes . . . love you . . .” he breathed, nuzzling his brother’s neck as he murmured and cooed into TJ’s flesh while his own orgasm began to peter out, sensations still high and intense.

Panting, little keens and whimpers escaping his lips, TJ turned his head to kiss at Bucky’s temple. “Love you, too, Buck . . . God, I love you so much . . .” he could feel some of Bucky’s cum leaking out of him . . . he never wanted the feeling to end; he always wanted to be filled so full.

Steve moaned at the pure ecstasy beside him, the twins’ pleasure feeding his own excitement since everything TJ did seemed to call to Steve. He began to push up to meet Natasha’s down thrusts, filling her over and over with his large member, gripping her hips to steady her on top of him.

“Yes, Steve . . .” Natasha moaned, head falling back as she rode Steve’s large cock. “That’s it . . .”

“So tight, Tasha,” he moaned, continuing his thrusts, feeling his pleasure beginning to rise, his body responding more and more. He slid his hands upwards to cup her breasts, beginning to knead and massage the globes, curling his back a bit so he could draw one into his mouth with a hungry, obscene groan of sexual pleasure.

As Steve took her nipple in his mouth, Natasha let out another soft moan, her eyes slipping shut at the pleasure she felt. After several more deep thrusts, Natasha breathed out, “close, Steve . . . God . . .”

“Cum for me, Tasha,” Steve groaned into her soft mound of flesh, lapping at the puckered nipple then drawing it into his mouth with a hard suckling. He continued to knead her other breast while his free hand moved down to run tenderly over her clit, massaging the sensitive erogenous zone. “Cum for me, baby girl.”

With a full body shudder and a soft cry, Nat lost herself over the edge of her orgasm, her tight walls clenching around Steve’s shaft.

A few strokes more and Steve felt that tightening in his balls, the rising heaviness, and he, too, came, cumming hot and hard inside the petite redhead, his lips clenching around her nipple, but careful not to use his teeth.

Bucky reached over one hand and brushed his wife’s hair out of her sweaty face, smiling at her. “Happy, Nat?” he asked on a chuckle, still balls deep in his brother though both of them were coming down from their joint orgasm. He didn’t want to leave his brother’s body; he felt like he belonged there.

“Mmm . . . yes, dear,” Natasha murmured, her eyes still closed as she came down from her orgasmic high.

Bucky reached over and stroked her hip softly. “You _look_ happy,” he chuckled. He looked down at his twin. “You okay, TJ? I didn’t hurt you?” Suddenly, he wondered, worried if it had been too soon since that Rumlow assault. “You okay? Not hurt, brother mine?”

Smiling, TJ rolled his hips again, “not hurt, baby brother. You did good. So good. Feels so right . . . you filling me so full . . .”

Burying his face in TJ’s shoulder, Bucky sighed but still didn’t move. “Now what?” his voice dropped to a near whisper.

Turning to drop another kiss on Bucky’s temple, TJ asked, “what do you mean, Buck?”

Lifting his face, never wanting to avoid his brother’s eyes, as if TJ were in the wrong or something, Bucky said, “we did this to try to exorcise our desire, TJ . . . but . . . for me it feels natural. I don’t _want_ to stop loving you. I actually don’t give a shit if it _is_ incest.”

Smiling, kissing Bucky’s lips, “I don’t care, either, baby brother. My desire for you hasn’t gone away, either. I want you like this,” TJ rolled his hips again, “this is how we were meant to love one another, Buck.”

“I’m married, TJ,” Bucky said softly and looked to his wife, still looking blissful. “And I love Natasha, too.”

“Why can’t we all be together?” Steve asked just as softly, voice reasonable, calm.

“That’s a good idea,” Natasha nodded, opening her eyes and looking at her husband, “what do you think, James?”

“All . . . four of us?” He looked troubled. “Is that going to really work?” He reached over to stroke his wife’s cheek with careful fingers. “I mean, Natasha . . . we vowed to be faithful . . .”

“Well, that already went out the window, didn’t it, James?” Natasha asked softly, she looked at TJ and then at Steve.

Bucky buried his face in TJ’s neck and moaned. “I’m sorry, Natasha . . . I . . .”

“I’m not upset, James,” Natasha said; she pulled off of Steve to kneel by her husband’s side. Running her hand down his arm, she added, “if we do the group thing like Steve suggested . . . we all are going to be happy, James. Who cares what society thinks . . . all that matters is if we’re happy, right?” She looked at Bucky, giving him a gentle smile, “and TJ makes you happy just like I make you happy.”

“How can I love two people so much?” Bucky lifted his face, looking worried and stricken. “But I do. I love you guys, and I don’t want to lose any of you.” He seemed unaware that he’d just included Steve, as well, in his love.

Steve smiled and lifted Bucky’s face to drop a kiss on his lips. “Bucky, if the three of us are all right with this arrangement, are you?”

Lifting his eyes, glancing towards TJ then Natasha and back to Steve, Bucky nodded. He sounded small and hopeful. “Yes?”

Nodding, Steve looked to his boyfriend and reached over to stroke his shoulder. “And you, pet? Do you mind this arrangement?”

“Mmm . . . no, sir. Not at all,” TJ murmured happily, giving his boyfriend a smile, seeming unaware of the dominant petname that slipped past his lips. Calling Steve _‘sir’_ felt natural, felt right.

Smiling wider at the name, Steve leaned over to kiss TJ’s lips. “Natasha?” he turned his head, still smiling. “You okay with this?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m _very_ okay with this,” Natasha smiled at Steve and then her husband.

“And so am I,” Steve confirmed for the others. “So, we are a group. We’ll have to be careful not to . . . not to let the twins get found out?” he offered carefully. “But I don’t see why we have to give up our choice of happiness since we’re all four consenting adults.”

Bucky blinked. “And,” he swallowed, “you don’t think I love you any less?” he glanced at his wife, still worried.

“Not at all, Bucky,” Steve responded on a wicked smile, earning a punch in the shoulder from Bucky’s left hand.

“Punk!”

“Jerk,” Steve shot back on a grin and smiled at TJ. “Okay, you two, bath time. Come on, time to separate before you freeze like that.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” TJ quipped, rolling his hips again and flashing his twin a mischievous smile.

Bucky moaned and nodded his agreement.

Chuckling Steve slapped Bucky hard on the ass, driving him in a bit further to TJ and drawing a yelp from Bucky. “Up, boys!”

“But, he feels so _good_ , sir,” TJ moaned as Bucky was pushed deeper inside him.

“You keep that going, Steve, and I _will_ fucking be _up_!” Bucky complained good naturedly. He eased up and off his twin with a reluctant groan and an obscene squishing sound as he dragged lube and semen from his brother’s ass as he left him.

Whimpering at the loss, TJ pouted playfully at his boyfriend, “ _so bossy_.”

Letting out a soft growl, Steve leaned over, “‘cause I know best, pet.” He stood and stretched. “And I’m hungry!”

“You’re _always_ hungry,” TJ laughed, easing up as he propped himself up on his forearms.

“Yes, and I’m hungry now,” Steve laughed. He walked from the bedroom to the bathroom, running water to get a stack of cloths for the group to clean up with if they didn’t want to use a full shower. Carrying them back, he handed them round. “And I’ve gotta change the bed sheets or someone’s gonna be in a hell of a wet spot later today.”

Natasha took one of the towels and began cleaning herself up. She looked at Bucky, “you want a shower, dear? Or just a towel?”

“Shower,” Bucky groaned. “Coming with, TJ?”

“Just shower,” Steve ordered without looking over. “I’ve got plans for you lot and we should really set some ground rules and stuff.”

“ _So bossy_!” TJ sing-songed as he rose to his feet, legs still a little shaky. He gave his boyfriend his sweetest, prettiest smile.

Steve laughed and reached out to give TJ’s butt a light smack. “Sassy! Go get cleaned up. You got ten minutes then I send Natasha in to retrieve you pair!”

Huffing out an over dramatic breath, TJ grabbed Bucky’s hand, “come on, you heard Mr. Bossy Pants, we got ten minutes.”

Snickering, Bucky asked, quite loudly, “think I could get you off again in ten minutes?” He began walking to the bathroom with his twin.

Steve called out, “don’t you dare or I separate you two for the rest of the day!”

Laughing, TJ stepped into the shower, under the still running water; he turned to look at his twin, “think he’ll know if we’re real quiet?” He asked softly, smirking devilishly.

“I’m not sure. How good are you at quiet?” Bucky grinned back. He stepped under the water and eyed his twin, “and is there still enough lube in you?”

Turning around, grinding his ass against Bucky’s pelvis, TJ purred low, “why don’t you check and find out?”

Bucky dropped to his knees in the large tub and leaned over to ease TJ’s ass-cheeks apart so he could check on the moisture left, smiling at the sight of his cum mixed with the lube inside his brother’s still needy passage. “Look so ready for me . . .”

“Aren’t you boys supposed to be showering?” Natasha asked, pulling back the curtain to look at the twins with a quirked brow, a small smirk on her lips.

Bucky looked over and sighed, leaning his forehead on one of TJ’s globes. “Wanna . . .” he didn’t specify, though.

“Get clean, boys, Steve has plans . . . you have eight minutes now,” she continued to smirk as she put down the toilet seat cover and sat down, watching the twins.

Sighing, Bucky reached over for a cloth and began to soap it up so he could wash TJ’s ass, still kneeling. “Wash your chest, brother mine, I’ll get your back.”

Huffing, TJ grabbed a second cloth and soaped it up before beginning to wash his chest. After a moment, he turned back around and pulled Bucky back up, so he could begin washing his twin’s chest.

Kissing TJ, Bucky reached down to run the soaped cloth over his twin’s cock and balls.

Keening into the kiss, TJ ran the soapy cloth down Bucky’s left arm, washing the injured limb.

Steve walked in, sweatpants slung low on his hips, arms crossed over his bare chest. “You both are pushing for a punishment and separation. I might not let you go shopping!”

Pulling away slightly, TJ looked at Steve, smiling sweetly, “we were just kissin’, sir. I’m even washing him . . . just like you said. We are getting clean.”

Slowly, enunciating, Steve said, “No. No kissing, no touching, nothing. You guys need to get cleaned up. I found a place I want to visit and I refuse to leave you two behind alone. I’m not above bringing one of you and leaving the other; however, so don’t tempt me. Or no presents,” he fixed a stern eye on TJ, not alleviating his commanding tone.

Pouting, TJ stepped back from Bucky to begin washing himself.

Bucky grumbled but began to very quickly clean himself up, not bothering to wash his hair since it was his torso down that had gotten most dirtied. He’d finish with a real shower that night before bed. Within six minutes, Bucky stepped from the shower and began to quickly dry off, his erection still half-full; Steve’s take charge attitude had always sent a thrill through Bucky, but now it had a sexual flavor to it that Bucky wanted to explore further. Maybe in this foursome, Bucky would have all _three_ as lovers . . . that could be really interesting.

A minute later, TJ finished up; he’d used his vanilla soap that most people would consider feminine but he simply enjoyed the sweet scent. He stepped out of the shower after turning it off and dried himself off, ruffling his hair with the towel.

In the other room, Steve had laid out clothes for TJ, as well as the outfits Bucky and Natasha kept as spares in the apartment in case they needed them and couldn’t get to their own place. While waiting, Steve had flipped on the television to catch the traffic and weather really quick while he peeled a couple of oranges to tide over his appetite until they could get a real meal.

TJ walked out, still drying his hair, “what store are we - -” his eyes widened at the sight on the television.

Bucky followed and stopped at his twin’s reaction to the news program. “Teej? You okay?” he asked softly, reaching out to touch the small of TJ’s back.

“Turn it off!” TJ shouted, eyes wide, “please!”

Steve instantly flicked off the set and looked at TJ. He walked over and drew his boyfriend into his arms in a tight, protective hug. “You’re okay, pet. I’ve got you. I’m here.” He didn’t ask what had set off TJ; something had and that was enough for Steve.

“S - - Sean . . . he - - I’m sorry . . .” TJ murmured, burying his face in Steve’s firm chest. Why couldn’t he go one day without being reminded of his past? “I’m sorry - - didn’t . . . I’m sorry . . .”

“Baby, it’s okay. I’m right here, sweetheart. Steve’s right here,” Steve cooed, reaching up to gently card his fingers through TJ’s wet curls. “Breathe for me, pet. Just breathe.”

Whimpering softly, TJ took in a few deep breaths, arms wrapped tightly around Steve’s waist. “I’m sorry . . .” he murmured again.

Bucky reached over to touch TJ’s back with both hands against his flesh. “Hey, big brother. We’re all here. Bucky, Natasha, _and_ Steve. You’re safe, brother mine. We love you.” He worried about the intense reaction, wondering if it had to do with Rumlow. He’d kill that bastard if he could corner him.

“I’m sorry . . . ‘m over him, I swear . . . I - - I just . . . I’m sorry . . .” TJ muttered, keeping his face buried in his boyfriend’s chest.

“Sean?” Steve breathed out softly, stroking TJ’s hair and dropping gentle kisses to his temple. “Is there something I can do to help you, pet?”

“Show me I’m yours . . . ‘m not his . . . I wanna be yours . . .” TJ whimpered.

“What can I do to prove I’m not gonna throw you away, pet? That he can’t touch you?” Steve lifted TJ’s face, cupping it and studying those pale blue eyes. “How can I show my love, TJ? What do you need from me.”

Meeting Steve’s bright blue eyes, TJ breathed out, “a - - a collar?” The lean brunet flushed as the words left his mouth.

“A collar?” Bucky asked, frowning softly. “How would a collar . . .”

“I . . .” Steve winced. “TJ . . .” he sighed and shut his mouth, thinking over the situation, knowing that it could cause a big problem, with his own trouble coming out, with other people, with the case against Rumlow. Finally, softly, he asked, “would it have to be a dog collar, pet?”

“N - - no . . .” TJ answered softly, looking unsure by both Steve and Bucky’s reaction.

“Would it be okay if it was a necklace or even a tie?” Steve pressed. “A special tie?”

“O - - okay . . . ‘m sorry . . . it’s okay . . .” TJ murmured, trying to retract his request.

“So, you’ll let me pick out what I want you to wear as my collar, pet?” Steve continued, still softly, still watching his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Y - - yes, sir,” TJ nodded, a small hopeful spark lighting in his pale eyes.

“Well, I think I can find something where I’m taking you guys. Get dressed quickly so we can get shopping before this place closes . . .” dropping his voice to almost inaudible, Steve whispered, “or I lose my nerve again.” He let go of TJ to get his shirt.

Bucky got dressed, keeping a hand close to TJ so he could stroke him comfortingly the entire time, wondering what _he_ might be able to do to prove TJ was _his_ , too.


	6. Who Says You Can’t Buy Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference to past rape/ non-con; attacker claiming victim wanted the attack; twincest, deliberate and full; sexual toys, playing and shopping, legal issues, lingerie

Steve hadn’t been kidding when he said it was a nice little store tucked away in a corner a few blocks away from the apartment. The outside was nondescript with innocuous things displayed like musk, perfume, a few humor books, and other mildly adult novelties. But once they entered and rounded the short hall from the entrance, the store opened up into a spacious, well lit stock of toys, manuals, erotica, videos, and any number of other items offered to tease the senses and enhance the bedroom life. The man behind the counter, a rather inoffensive fifty-something with grey hair and glasses, sat reading a book and only glanced up to see how many people came in before going back to his reading. The store’s name was _‘Imago.’_

TJ looked around, meeting Bucky and Natasha's eyes with a surprised expression. He didn't think Steve would ever be comfortable visiting a sex shop. But, he also never expected Steve to be okay with a group relationship . . . it seemed like the beautiful blond was full of many surprises.

As surprised as his brother, especially having known Steve for twenty years, Bucky took his wife’s hand and squeezed it lightly, looking around the shop. “Surprised we didn’t know this was here,” he said in quite a normal tone, thus sounding loud in the still room.

Chuckling nervously, Steve took TJ’s hand as soon as they cleared the front door and pulled him close the entire time, as if there he felt a little more secure in revealing his personal life as long as he held onto his boyfriend. His eyes roved the store, as curious as his friends, proving he hadn’t gotten up the courage to actually enter the store before that moment.

TJ hummed softly and leaned into Steve's side, “how'd you find this place?” he asked softly, looking up at Steve. He was still a little on edge from seeing Sean again on the television . . . his ex-boyfriend’s last, harsh words echoing in his mind, telling him that he wasn't worth the effort, was only a good lay when Sean kept his eyes closed.

“Found it on the internet and checked it out with the Better Business Bureau,” Steve offered softly. He kept his arm securely around TJ’s waist. Glancing over at Natasha and Bucky, he asked, sounding a bit breathless from nerves, “this okay, guys?”

“Interesting,” Bucky nodded and walked to one of the display shelves.

Nodding her agreement, Natasha flashed Steve a supportive smile, “discreet, very nice, Steve,” she then followed where her husband went.

“Anything you looking for in particular, sir?” TJ asked softly, still pressed against his boyfriend's side. TJ looked around with interest, eyeing the various toys it had to offer. He went where his boyfriend lead.

Walking directly over to the collars, Steve smiled. “You like any of these, pet?” He fingered a thick red leather one and shook his head slightly, not realizing he had visibly vetoed the stiff leather.

Looking at the display of collars, varying in sizes, colors and thickness, TJ tilted his head as his eyes caught on something.

“Want something that won’t chafe,” Steve said softly, frowning as he examined the collars carefully.

Slowly, TJ reached out and touched a simple, black collar with a small ring on the front. The leather was thin, soft and pliable.

Bucky looked over, curious as to what his twin may have found. He tugged on Natasha to guide her over to the other pair and smiled as he saw what Steve picked up. “Purple? Nah, might want to avoid something so bright . . .” he teased.

Natasha went where her husband tugged her, looking at the large display of various collars. “Plus, bright colors are hard to match with.”

Noticing what TJ had touched, Steve reached over and carefully plucked it from the display hook, treating it like it was some kind of precious jewelry in it’s own right. He examined the leather, the stitching and flexibility. “Would this be comfortable without a lining?” he asked as he turned and carefully wrapped it around TJ’s neck, fastening it and making sure the ring sat over TJ’s Adam’s apple. “How’s it feel, pet?”

Feeling the weight of the collar, TJ smiled softly and lifted one of his hands to touch it. Looking up at Steve, the brunet’s smile grew, “it feels right, sir.”

“Then give me a kiss and I’ll buy it for you,” Steve said, his eyes worried but determined to take this step in this safe place. It was a baby step to be sure but a step nonetheless.

TJ leaned over and pressed his lips to Steve’s, his lips moving against Steve’s gently, lovingly.

Bucky smiled and glanced to Natasha, mouthing the word _‘amazing!’_ He didn’t forget what they’d just learned about Steve’s military past.

Natasha nodded her agreement, smiling softly at the sight of Steve and TJ kissing.

Nodding as he pulled back, smiling, looking proud he had done this minor thing for TJ, Steve said, “your play collar’s gonna have a lining, removable I think in case you need punishment. Do they make that kinda thing or am I inventing new toys?”

Looking back at the wall of collars, TJ shrugged, “not sure, Captain.”

The small man called out from his perch behind the counter, “I can special order it if you give me measurements for the neck.” To the untrained ear his accent sounded Eastern European or maybe German.

Looking back to Steve, TJ smiled, “there you go.”

A sudden surge of fear laced through Steve, but he ruthlessly pushed it down, reminding himself that this man would be more interested in selling his stock then condemning a gay man and his lover shopping together. Nodding, forcing a small chuckle, Steve said, “you can order other things, too, please?” He flushed but walked over to the man, grabbing TJ’s hand as he stepped out, claiming his boyfriend before the small, unobtrusive store owner.

The man looked up and nodded. “Yes. If it is made, I can order it. If it is not made,” he shrugged, “I can see if someone will make it. Do you wish to measure the neck for the collar?”

Steve nodded firmly, relaxing little by little at the man’s business-like attitude and lack of obvious judgement. Even his eyes seemed kind, as if he, too, had once sought a special object for a lover. “Yes, I want it to fit snuggly but comfortably with the lining, a bit looser without for . . . for punishment?” He swallowed, suddenly feeling nerves and fear welling up; had he gone too far? When TJ had asked for a collar to prove Steve’s love, he had known instantly what TJ truly wanted: TJ was a sub who had been treated very badly handing his trust and love to Steve, as a dom, a protector and lover. Steve intended to treat that trust with the seriousness and respect it deserved; he accepted the responsibility and love TJ offered him.

“Naturally,” the man said without inflection. He pulled out a notepad and tape measure. “Come behind the counter, young man?” he instructed TJ.

TJ looked up to Steve, waiting for the approval of his boyfriend.

Nodding, Steve slowly said, “if he tries to hurt you, tell me, pet. Go ahead and get measured for your collar.” He reached over a hand that trembled only a little; the man’s continued accepting attitude, as if there was nothing special or significant about a male-male couple shopping for kink gear, aided Steve in keeping his panic response low, his fears in check. He removed the black collar they’d already chosen as TJ’s at home collar. Steve spotted one identical to the plain black, behind a large group of others, and pulled it out; it weighed the same and felt almost identical, however it had embossed hearts around the leather. Steve smiled.

Walking behind the counter, TJ watched the older man, staying still to allow him to measure.

Bucky smiled, too, watching his twin get measured for the collar he’d requested from Steve. He barely knew anything about the BDSM community Steve and Peggy had been a part of; his own experience had been limited to a bit of light bondage only, but apparently TJ was as into that way of life as Steve. Looking over at his best friend of decades, Bucky reassured himself that this foursome wouldn’t interfere with that kind of trust, that bond . . . he hoped it wouldn’t at least. Bucky didn’t want to give up TJ now he’d found him, as wrong as that might seem to other people. He glanced to Natasha and mouthed, _‘a collar . . . sounds interesting . . .’_

Natasha nodded, watching as the older man measured TJ’s neck. She had never been one to give up control . . . but seeing TJ look so happy . . . and following Steve’s orders earlier had given her such a unique thrill.

Wrapping the flexible tape measure around TJ’s neck and taking the measurements, the man said, “Abraham.”

“Abraham? That’s your name?” TJ assumed.

“Yes. I am Abraham Erskine.” He nodded, wrote down some figures and did the measurement again. “Flex your neck, push out your muscles as far as you can.”

TJ did as instructed. Bucky, unconsciously, copied the gesture as he watched.

Abraham wrote the bigger number down and nodded, putting away his tape measure. “Thank you. You may relax. I know a leather worker who can make this within the week.”

“A week?” Steve offered a hesitant smile, eyes lighting at the idea of presenting TJ an _at play or punishment_ collar within a week. “A week is good. How much extra will that cost?”

Offering a smile, Abraham said, “ah, a wise man to understand business. It will cost ten dollars more than the display price for the special handling. Is that acceptable?”

Steve held out his hand to TJ, finally relaxing at the friendly, non-judgemental manner of Mr. Erskine. He felt he may have found a safe haven to explore his kinks and his desires . . . and one that catered to helping the kinks to thrive; he had found an ally that would accept his love and care of TJ, Bucky, and Natasha. “You want the collar, pet?”

Taking Steve’s hand and nuzzling close to his boyfriend, TJ nodded, “yes, sir.”

“Then we’ll buy it. Mr. Erskine, what colors are available?” Steve asked. “Bucky?” he’d noticed Bucky’s reaction to TJ’s measuring, “would you like a collar, too?” He was surprised by the jolt of excitement he felt at the idea of both twins in collars and in his care. “Natasha?” He extended the invitation to her, as well.

Natasha looked at Bucky and then at Steve, a little surprised by the offer. She didn’t allow herself to think before giving the blond a small nod, “yes.”

“Yeah?” Bucky asked then clarified by saying, “please, Steve?” He couldn’t believe he was agreeing to wear someone’s collar . . . but somehow, it didn’t have a restrictive feel like he would have expected. Instead, he felt a thrill of curiosity . . . and belonging.

Abraham nodded and asked, “please come here for neck measurements.”

Bucky drew a breath and walked behind the counter, reaching over to squeeze TJ’s hand without thinking. He smiled and dropped his twin’s hand, facing the shopkeeper as the little man wrapped the tape measure around his throat.

When the man finished, he wrote his numbers down the glanced over at Natasha, “my dear? Measurements?”

Nodding, Natasha stepped over and held still for the man to get his measurements. She gave her family a gentle smile.

He worked quickly, impersonally, and with gentle hands as he took her numbers down. Finally, he stepped back and gave a nod. “I can show you color choices in this book. Leathers are on this page,” he pulled a large book over on the counter. “And five pages later is linings. Fleece or wool or fur are the choices.”

Steve walked over to start looking through the book, glancing at each of his new lovers once in awhile before finally saying, “I want this dark grey leather with the beige fleece lining for each of the twins and this dark scarlet with black fleece for my baby girl.” He’d deliberately tested the water with Natasha, checking to see how dominant she’d let him be, but didn’t ask for any opinions on the collars. These were the collars for their dom-sub play, and that meant Steve had ultimate choice over them. He knew TJ, and hopefully the others, would prefer it that way.

Natasha didn’t seemed phased by the show of dominance; she gave Steve a smile at the petname. She felt weirdly at peace from not having to make a decision; it was nice to give over control every once in awhile.

“Matching set? I like that,” Bucky grinned, looking over at his brother.

TJ smiled, a sense of security and happiness rushing through him as Steve made this decision. He’d be happy if Steve made all his decisions, but he knew that was highly unrealistic and was just happy for what Steve did do for him. He was eager to see what other things Steve planned on getting, what other ideas his boyfriend had stirring in his mind. He turned his smile on his brother, grinning widely.

“Thank you, Abraham,” Steve said softly and smiled at TJ’s look of happiness. He looked over the other pair and had to grin wider. Who would have thought, even yesterday, that he’d have not just a steady boyfriend but two boyfriends and a girlfriend, in a way. He’d have a - - family.

“You are new, yes?” Abraham commented.

“New?” Steve flushed, suddenly worried that he’d misjudged the situation like seven years before. He stiffened in unconscious expectation of an attack.

Abraham nodded but didn’t look up. “New to being lovers. New to your kink. New to all of this.”

TJ nodded.

Steve continued to flush as he nodded, agreeing with TJ, not letting the man know that he’d already played this kink with someone else . . . with roles reversed. He didn’t know how to include Bucky and Natasha without Abraham immediately thinking of incest for the twins.

Abraham looked up and offered a smile. “Then I will advise you. You should read all safety instructions before you purchase. And if you are uncertain how something works, you can look it up on the internet to get vidoes. It will save much pain and confusion.” Abraham sank back onto his chair and picked up his book again, a worn copy of a science fiction novel. “Feel free to ask any questions, as well. I know some answers.”

Looking at TJ, Steve swallowed. “That sounds like good advice?” His mind flipped at the sudden approval, the good advice. This place was once again a safe haven, and the back and forth was beginning to unsettle Steve.

“Yeah,” TJ agreed, nodding, “well, what ideas did you have in mind?” He was anxious to see what else Steve had been thinking about . . . his eyes trailed over to Bucky, his imagination running wild as he moved his eyes to look at the shop again.

“Um . . . I wanted to look at bindings and maybe something that could help you keep open if we get distracted by something while we’re playing?” Steve flushed but didn’t lower his voice, wanting to practice his _coming out_ , trusting that it was his own fears causing the confusion, that the place truly was a safe haven for them. “But I’m not sure if that kind of thing exists?”

“Anal plugs,” Abraham said and turned his page. “There are individual, jeweled, or even sets of different sizes to slowly work up to larger penetration.”

Bucky flushed at the imagery the man had produced: slowly working TJ open, wide and wider, keeping him ready to be bent over any surface at any time.

“Anal plugs,” TJ echoed and smiled at Steve, giving the blond a reassuring nod. TJ gave a quick wink to his twin, lips pulled into a sly, near seductive, smirk, as if he _knew_ what his brother was thinking about.

“Anal plugs,” Steve nodded, bright red. “That sounds like it makes sense, actually.” He offered a small smile. “I guess people thought of these things long before I came on this scene, huh?”

Abraham nodded, face serious, as he turned a page. “You will find the plugs on the shelving unit by the young lady,” he offered.

TJ laughed and nodded, tugging Steve in the direction of some of the toys. Letting TJ direct them, Steve stopped in front of the display of plugs and the dildos right next over. He reached up and began taking down several sizes and types of plugs, turning the packages over and reading them carefully, taking Abraham’s advice to heart because he valued the safety of his lovers. After a long silent moment, a shopping basket was set beside TJ on the floor and Abraham tottered back over to his book without a word.

Bucky let out a soft chuckle and stepped up beside his wife to caress her lower back with his right hand. “This is not how I imagined today. You?”

Snorting softly, Natasha shook her head, “not in the slightest.” She looked up at Bucky and said quietly, “Steve and I . . . we were planning on how to get you and a certain tall brunet together . . . but I never thought it’d end like . . . this.”

“Yeah, that kind of stood out once you both hopped in the shower, but I wasn’t about to argue. I . . . I thought I’d be able to _get over him_ if I gave in, like a craving, but . . . now I burn for him. I . . . I’m the luckiest man alive to have found _you_ and the others.”

Smiling, Natasha leaned over and kissed Bucky.

Picking up the basket with a smile, TJ watched and waited for Steve to pick out which one he wanted. He looked over and his smile widened at the sight of Bucky and Nat kissing; TJ was very happy with _that_ outcome. He didn’t want to break up Bucky and Natasha’s marriage . . . and he never wanted to hurt Steve.

Steve held each plug up to his hand and looked from one to the other before putting several slowly back on their display hooks. Finally, he chose a set with five different plugs and turned to TJ. “These I think will be good.” He also slid three matching individual plugs into the basket, all the same size, the only difference the faux-jewel set in the flange of the plugs: one sapphire, one emerald, and the other ruby.

“You want all eight, sir?” TJ asked softly, looking at the different size plugs, eyes wide as he lifted his head to look back up at the blond.

Nodding, Steve noted the basket and began setting the toys inside. “One for each size: one finger, two fingers, so on. That way you’re still ready from the last widening we did?” Steve’s logic showed he took this toy buying very seriously. “And I certainly don’t expect you to wear more than one at a time, but those jeweled ones for when you feel especially pretty?” Suddenly, realizing the telling comment that had come from his mouth, Steve flushed and looked into the basket nervously.

TJ nodded and gave Steve a large smile. “You think I’m pretty, sir?” TJ purred low, stepping closer to the tall blond.

“God, yes,” Steve moaned softly and leaned in for a kiss before slowly pulling back, aware that they were still in public, even if it was a discreet, private shop run by an apparently understanding older man.

Grinning, Bucky nodded at the small shows of confidence, lack of fear, that Steve displayed around TJ. “Well, is there anything for the dangly half of the male anatomy? I like jewelry, too.”

TJ laughed, a pure joyous sound; he looked over at Bucky, “ _dangly half_ , really?”

Grinning, Steve ran a finger over a variety of sexual jewlery. “Well, there’s rings and other things to slip around the erection, Buck. Here’s one that looks like a crown. And a set of gold with diamonds.”

“Oh? A crown? Like in royalty? Kinky.” Bucky strode over and began looking over the cockrings available. He reached over and found on that slid right under the glans; it had a bead that would cause extra stimulation to the prostate with every stroke. “Want this!” he called and looked to Steve. “So needing this, Cap!” The inadvertent nickname tumbled from Bucky’s lips, a shortened form of the old nickname Steve had been granted in high school.

Steve flushed and smiled, nodding. “I think it’ll look good on you, Bucky.” He slipped the ring from his best friend’s hands and put it in the basket. “Anything else? Natasha?” he called over to include her once again; she always seemed to slip into the background, and he suspected that was habit for the former Russian dancer.

Natasha looked at Steve and then at the display shelves in front of them. She knew she’d have no use for a plug and she certainly didn’t need anything for the _male_ anatomy. Her emerald eyes took in the various types of dildos on the display next to the plugs. Of course she’d used dildos and vibrators before . . . but that was before she met Bucky . . . now, she’d rather have the real thing. Looking back at Steve, she shook her head, “not on these displays, at least.”

Steve smiled in return to let her know that she didn’t have to choose from _these_ shelves. “Anything in the _store_ you looking at, baby girl?” he purred to her, wanting to encourage her to join in their sexy adventures.

Looking around the store, Natasha found herself drawn to the different types of restraints. She and Bucky had experimented slightly in bondage, but it’d always been _him_ tied . . . and she was curious as to what it felt like.

Following where Natasha’s attention had gone, Steve smiled a bit wider. He shot the smile over to TJ then followed their female play partner over to the restraints. Reaching out, he touched a package with a picture displaying a woman trapped in a red and black spider web bobdage set. “Anything here interest you, baby girl?” he encouraged.

Looking to what Steve touched, she tilted her head slightly, taking in the image. After a moment, Natasha tapped the box with her nail, “this. I want to try this.”

Nodding, Steve took the box down and began reading the back, verifying it was as safe as it looked pleasurable. “So, a spider drawing her men into her web?” He teased. “A little black widow?”

Grinning, Natasha laughed softly, “and the best thing is all her men would come willingly.”

Leaning closer, Steve asked, “don’t you mean _cum_ willingly?” He slipped the package into one of the baskets and began looking over the other restraints. “TJ? Buck? Any interest in these?”

Bounding over, looking excited, TJ stopped next to Steve and looked at all the different types of bondage equipment.

Bucky laughed as he joined the other three. “Like this kinda toy, actually.” He ran a hand over some of the packages. “Never went beyond a rope . . .”

“This, sir?” TJ asked, plucking some bright red rope off the shelf; there was enough rope that it could easily bind the entire body.

“That’s quite a bit of rope,” Steve commented, a bit surprised. Peggy had usually just used scarves or something to bind his wrists. They’d not gotten really far in actual restraints. “Might need others, too, in case we don’t want to tie you in a full-body bind.”

Humming, TJ nodded and reached out for some silver silk scarves.

“Or in case I don’t want to tie you to one of the others,” Steve added playfully. He glanced over the restraints and touched a package claiming it contained a _Doggie Style Locking Spreader_ , used to bind the person’s wrists to his or her ankles and leave the anus and vagina open wide for penetration.

“Oh!” TJ dropped the scarves to look at what Steve had, “that looks _fun_!”

Nodding, Steve smiled. “It does, doesn’t it?” He eyed TJ for a long moment before picking up the toy and beginning to read the package back, blatantly displaying the picture on the front for TJ’s perusal.

Mewling softly, TJ looked between the package and Steve, hoping the blond would deem it safe enough to buy.

“Damn,” Bucky breathed and had to adjust himself at the thought of putting his twin in _that_. He began looking over other restraints and bedroom style bondage _furniture_ , though most were more along the portable range. He did stop at a harness that strapped someone into a doorway. “Damn . . .” he smiled slowly. “On display and everything . . . helpless to protest or cover up . . .” He had to adjust himself again and flushed.

“So, my Bucky likes to be tied up?” Steve teased lightly then flushed and ducked his head as he realized the store owner could hear every word.

Slipping over to where Bucky stood looking at the door spreader, TJ rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder, “hmm . . . like that, baby brother? Wanna be all tied up?”

“Hell yeah, brother mine,” Bucky breathed out, eyes alight. “I actually have tried it, Teej. I like it.” He grinned at his twin. “But being tied up _with_ someone, unable to pull out without someone allowing it . . .”

“Sounds exciting,” TJ agreed softly, still resting his chin on his twin’s shoulder.

“New Jersey,” Abraham called in a calm, reasonable tone from where he still perused his book behind the counter.

TJ looked over at the man. Natasha frowned softly, as she too, looked up at Abraham. Steve and Bucky both glanced over, Steve frowning in confusion and Bucky wrinkling his nose in a native New Yorker’s normal disdain for the neighboring state.

Glancing up, eyes serious, Abraham got up, walked to the door and locked it. He came back into the main room and said, “In New Jersey the only form of incest which is illegal is marriage, as long as the participants are consenting adults.”

TJ paled, eyes wide. He hadn’t even thought that what he and Bucky were doing was _illegal_ in New York.

The man noted the looks on all four of his customers. He shrugged. “And BDSM is not much taboo there either, as long as you do not openly injure one another in public. I merely felt the information interesting.” He walked back behind the counter to scoop up his book, but he left the store locked, preventing other customers interrupting this small group in their shopping.

TJ looked at Bucky, still pale; the lean brunet looked like he might throw up.

“Illegal . . .” Bucky swallowed. He’d only thought people were averse to it, morality and all, not that they could get arrested for their love.

Steve immediately put a hand on TJ’s shoulder and one on Bucky’s. “Shh, breathe. Just breathe for me,” he instructed calmly.

“I’m gonna . . . Steve, I’m gonna . . .” TJ whimpered, looking up at Steve with large, fear filled eyes.

“You are going to be okay, baby,” Steve pulled TJ into a fierce hug. “Breathe, baby. Abraham merely pointed out an interesting trivia fact. That’s all.” He locked his intense blue eyes with TJ’s pale grey-blue ones. “Breathe,” he ordered.

TJ took in a shaky breath and let it out; he softly whimpered again, “wh - - what are we gonna do? I - - I can’t . . .”

“TJ, that’s easy,” Steve smiled. “We move to Jersey and commute to Brooklyn for work.” He rubbed TJ’s back, letting go of Bucky who seemed far calmer, though a bit shaken. “I’ll take care of everything, for all of us. Remember? I’m here. I’ll take care of you.”

“You’re here,” TJ nodded, taking another few deep breaths, “you take care of me.”

Nodding, Steve cupped TJ’s face and lifted it, kissing him softly on the lips over and over in small bursts. “Love me, TJ? Trust me, pet?”

“I love you, Steve . . . I trust you,” TJ nodded.

“Then trust me in this. We’ll find a place in Jersey.” He smiled softly at his boyfriend. “Now, let’s keep shopping?”

TJ nodded; he looked over at Bucky, pale eyes worried . . . he never meant to break the law . . . he just loved his twin. Bucky felt almost shell-shocked but obediently breathed slowly, keeping himself in check. Steve was right, they could find a place in Jersey and there’d be no legal issues.

Natasha eyed the shop owner, watching him intently. She didn’t miss the fact that Abraham had kept the front door locked . . . could he somehow be notifying the police? She didn’t think she saw him trip any silent alarms . . . but he could’ve done it discreetly. They heard the sound of someone try to open the shop door and give up. Abraham turned his page, as if he didn’t notice or care that a possible customer hadn’t been able to get in.

Steve finally seemed to notice the odd behavior of the store keeper. “Um . . . the door’s locked? You’re missing other customers?”

Abraham looked up. “The shop is closed,” he informed them calmly.

“Closed?” Bucky frowned suddenly, drawn from the question of his love for TJ and the legalities involved. “We should come back another time . . .”

“Nonsense,” Abraham said, “it is closed for your appointment. Did you not note the hours posted? The last line says that the store may be randomly closed for private appointments.” He went back to reading once more.

Glancing over at Natasha, Bucky looked back at Abraham. “You called the cops,” he accused.

“I see no reason to inform the police of anything happening currently. Nothing illegal has occurred inside my shop,” Abraham responded. “I do, however, find it easier to handle small amounts of customers at one time. As four customers is a rather comfortable limit, I have granted you a private appointment to shop for as long as require this afternoon.” He lifted his kind eyes to meet the looks of the foursome.

“Thank you,” Natasha said; the older man showed no signs of lying, no nervousness or anything that would suggest he waited for the police to arrive.

“You are good people. You care about one another and are trying to enhance your own . . . pleasurable accouterments. I see no reason to deny any of you my wares if you continue to adhere to the law while on my premises.” He offered the smallest of smiles then looked back down at his book.

TJ tore his eyes away from Bucky; he feared his twin wouldn’t ever want to touch him again after finding out that their love was illegal. He looked up at Steve before burying his face in his boyfriend’s strong chest. He was going to lose Bucky . . . Bucky would never want to touch him again. His heart ached with the loss that was surely coming . . . his twin would probably want nothing to do with him. He should’ve never come to New York . . . he messed up everyone’s lives.

Steve wrapped his arms securely around TJ and held him close, stroking his hand through TJ’s still damp curls, kissing his neck softly.

Bucky saw TJ’s emotions flitting quickly over his expressive face, through his all too telling eyes. Sighing to himself, knowing his twin must be as upset as he, himself was, trying to figure this out, come to terms with it all, Bucky strolled over to one of the glass-cabinet units which displayed smaller, more expensive pieces locked up in lighted safety, visible but untouchable without permission . . . rather like TJ seemed to be for Bucky. He looked into the cabinet and caught his breath. Placing his hands on the glass counter top, Bucky bent close to study the matching chokers with pendants containing Cyrillic script. “Abraham? I want those . . . please,” he breathed.

The man got up and immediately unlocked the case and pulled out the matched chokers. He offered the pair to Bucky who studied them.

Bucky smiled. “Buying this and you can’t stop me, Natasha . . . it’s my allowance,” he teased lightly. Bucky pulled out his wallet and paid for the chokers. Finally, without allowing them to be packaged, he walked over to TJ and quickly clasped one of the chokers on TJ’s slender neck. He fastened the other around his own. “Perfect.”

TJ looked genuinely shocked, pale-blue eyes wide as he looked at his twin. His hand lifted so his fingers could brush against the soft material of the choker. “Wh - - what . . . Buck?” TJ sounded breathless.

Touching the pendant just below TJ’s Adam’s apple,” Bucky softly said, “it translates to _‘brother mine,’_ TJ.” He smiled.

TJ’s eyes brimmed with tears and he he couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around his brother, Steve willingly letting him go for the moment. He nuzzled at the crook of his twin’s neck, not kissing or doing anything more than _feeling_ his brother. “Thank you, Bucky . . .”

Nodding, Bucky whispered in his twin’s ear, “ _Mine_ , TJ. Mine forever.”

A thrill went down TJ’s spine at Bucky’s possessive tone and words; quietly, so only Bucky could hear, TJ nodded, “yours. All yours.”

Relief swept over Steve as he noticed TJ’s less scared, more relaxed and happy attitude. He glanced over at Natasha and held out one arm, “cuddle, baby girl?”

Sliding over to press against Steve’s side, Natasha rested her head on his sturdy shoulder as she watched the twins.

Finally, Bucky pulled back from TJ and grinned widely. “Well, if we’ve got a private shopping appointment, let’s not waste it, right? No one to see or interrupt then I’m gonna throw out nerves and shyness. Let’s find some real toys we wanna try.”

Chuckling, Steve nodded. He picked up the silver scarves TJ had dropped and began looking them over. “Still like these, pet?” he asked casually, offering a slight smirk to TJ.

Looking over at Steve, TJ smiled and nodded, “they’re soft.”

“Yeah. It’s what Peggy always used, too,” he selected one of each color and a few extra of the red and black to go with TJ’s choice silver. Steve turned to run one of the scarves over TJ’s cheek. “This okay, pet . . . I think everything’s gonna be okay.”

Pressing into the material, TJ smiled softly as his eyes met Steve’s, “yeah . . . everything is going to be okay, now, sir.”

Bucky chuckled and reached over to stroke TJ’s other cheek. “Yeah . . . everything,” he echoed his twin. “Now, we need to do some serious shopping here, TJ, so let's concentrate.”

Humming, TJ nodded and looked around the shop, “what else do you guys want to get?”

Steve kissed TJ’s forehead and stepped back from him. “I’ve got a few things I want to look at. Tilting his head and returning the smile, Steve asked, “is that okay, pet? I mean, if I’m being too picky or taking too long . . .” he trailed off. If he kept shopping, Steve would take his time selecting for function, safety, and pleasure. It turned out that shopping with the large blond was in all probability an all day affair.

“Well, I don’t have anything better to do,” TJ smiled, looking around the store again; he felt himself calming down slightly. It was clear that Bucky wasn’t going to distance himself from TJ. “This is great, Captain,” TJ grinned, turning and walking back to look at the large display of dildos and vibrators.

“Okay, Peggy had one of these, but I didn’t know they could be used anally. Can they?” Steve asked, clearing his throat in sudden nerves, glancing quickly at the disinterested appearing Abraham then back again, thankful the man had given them the legal information but still a bit worried. Trying to keep his mind on their group trip and not on his past, Steve eyed the various large plastic and glass cocks.

“Oh, yeah,” TJ nodded; he looked back at Steve. He leaned close and whispered, “you could tie me up and stick one of those in me . . . leave me squirming, sir.” He backed away with a smirk and looked back at the wall.

Looking thoughtfully down at TJ, Steve considered TJ’s suggestion. Finally, he nodded. “That does sound like a good idea. Or I could fill you up and me up at the same time . . .”

Bucky snickered, “or you won’t need a toy at all if I got in on that chain.”

Flushing, not answering that, Steve pulled down first one vibrator than another, comparing them and reading over the back of the packages; Bucky chuckled. “Would it be safe to leave you with a machine while tied or better for a plain stationary one?” Steve asked worriedly.

“I mean, you shouldn’t leave me for _hours_ but for a while is fine,” TJ said.

“Of course not. We have to decide what’s a good punishment time and what’s good for play time. We need to set strict safety rules and know what limits we shouldn’t try to push.” Steve looked up at TJ from a third box he perused, the first two having been returned to the display pretty quickly. “But the question is, say I leave for ten minutes. Is it safe to leave a vibrator inside you while you’re tied up? Or is that dangerous?”

TJ didn’t want to explain that he’d been left a hell of a lot longer than ten minutes while tied up with a vibrator. He didn’t know if it was technically safe or not. Some of his past lovers had gotten tired of how _needy_ he always was.

Seeing TJ’s hesitancy, Steve reluctantly looked towards the shop owner for guidance. “Abraham, do you know?”

Abraham shook his head. “It should state it on the package if you should leave someone unattended for lengths of time with a machine on. My guess is it can be safe if you take precautions.”

“Precautions?” Steve echoed, frowning.

Bucky curiously grabbed a package and glanced over the warnings, all of which stated that caution should be used, but no time limits were listed.

Abraham got up and walked over to a shelf of books. He pulled several down and walked over, handing them to Steve. “These should be a good start to any sexual library.” He went back to his book as Steve glanced over the books.

“ _Knot Tying . . . Safety with Toys . . . When to Say No._ ” Steve looked to TJ then to Natasha then Bucky.

TJ shrugged one shoulder, stepping closer to look at the books. “Seems like a good start?”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “The more I look around the more I realize I know so little about taking care of all of you, pet. I want to learn . . .” He sighed, knowing that Peggy hadn’t had enough time to teach him even a quarter of what it turned out he’d need to know. And he’d felt so sure of himself just days ago. “So, we get these books? Wanna look and see if others would work for us, too?” Steve was determined to do right by his group, even if it meant studying.

“Sure,” TJ nodded and walked over to the wall of books.

Walking up behind TJ, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend as he perused the shelves over his shoulder, tensing then relaxing as no comments came from Abraham, Steve smiled and whispered, “I’ve already mentioned, and I hate doing that, but Peggy taught me some of the kink. But I get the feeling there’s a ton more she never got to cover before we broke up.”

TJ nodded; it was true, Steve talked about Peggy a lot, but TJ couldn’t find it in himself to get annoyed. It sounded like Peggy helped a lot with Steve, and TJ couldn’t be more grateful for that.

“You telling me,” Bucky said softly from just behind the pair. He reached over and took his wife’s hand. “I don’t know too much about this, either. Natasha? Any past experience in the BDSM community?”

Natasha shrugged, “I have some experience, not a lot . . . but I know a few things.”

“Any books on being a good dom?” Steve asked, still softly.

From his perch, Abraham looked over at the foursome and smiled softly. “We also have electronic copies, if you prefer not displaying your books where you read them. It is also half the price of the published hard copies. I have a list of titles and subjects here in this binder. And yes, there are good sources on dominant and submissive kinks. As well as bondage, cross-dressing, and other fetishes.”

Steve buried his face in the back of TJ’s neck with a chuckle, squeezing lightly. “Don’t know if I’m up to cross-dressing . . . though that lacy underwear is kinda cute.” He didn’t know why he’d said it except to deflect the shopkeeper's attention.

TJ turned his head and looked over at the different types of underwear. He tilted his head; Sean had sometimes asked him to wear lingerie, and he’d always felt a little awkward in it. Of course, Sean would never look at his face while he was wearing the lingerie . . . wanting to pretend TJ was actually a woman instead of a man in sexy underwear. He wondered if he’d like it better since Steve, Bucky and Natasha treated him like a man.

Like his twin, Bucky looked over the sexy underwear. “Hey . . .” He carefully picked up and studied a lacy peep-hole bra and crotch-less panties set of deep crimson and black. “Natasha . . . wanna get this for you!”

Natasha smiled at Bucky, “very convenient.”

“Yeah, _very_ ,” Bucky agreed on a grin.

“It’d have to be made extra strong or I’d rip it as soon as I looked at you,” Steve continued his own conversation with TJ in his low whisper.

A shiver ran down TJ’s spine; Steve’s low, dominant tone always made his knees go weak.

“Think they carry big enough sizes or would we haveta order that special, too?” Steve asked softly, eyeing the lacy bits of material.

Walking towards the display of multiple types of lingerie, TJ began looking through them, “any you like in particular, sir?”

“Well,” Steve whispered, flushing, “I look good in blue?”

TJ’s head snapped up and he looked up at Steve, expression genuinely shocked. Bucky also looked over but wisely stayed quiet, merely trading glances with his wife. He’d had no clue his best friend had wanted to dress in women’s underwear.

Licking his lips nervously, Steve shook his head. “No good? I . . . it was only a thought, really . . .”

Natasha looked surprised by the revelation as well; she wondered if Steve wanting to dress in lingerie was something Peggy started . . . or if it was something Steve had always been secretly into.

“No . . . wait - - you were talking about yourself? I thought . . .” TJ shook his head.

Nodding, not dropping his eyes though he felt like sinking through the floor, Steve whispered, “yeah? I mean . . . not all the time, but once in awhile I get curious how it’d feel to be in pretty lace? Of course, I understand if you don’t like the idea . . . I’m a bit over big for such things?” He flushed bright red by that time, ducking his head, looking more like a nervous teen than a dom with three subs.

Humming, TJ turned to look back at the display, going through the different types of blue, lacy underwear until he found a pair he believed might be big enough for Steve. Holding it out for his boyfriend, TJ asked, “what about these, sir?”

Steve paused then took the lingerie slowly, a small smile forming on his lips at TJ’s serious consideration of this hidden kink he’d _never_ indulged. He held the panties up to his own narrow waist and thick thighs, trying to judge if his bulge would fit in them. Softly, very softly, he asked, “you wouldn’t mind, TJ? Really? It’s not really considered a masculine thing, is it, to want to be pretty?” he raised his eyes. “But . . . sometimes I imagine what it would be like to be a model?”

“Steve,” TJ took a step forward and cupped Steve’s face in both of his hands, “if you wanna try something, anything, you have that right, too. And who gives a shit if it’s not masculine, you’d look hot in those. We’re getting them.”

A slow smile spread over Steve’s face and he kissed TJ’s lips in a fierce happy kiss. “Thanks, pet.”

Grinning into the kiss, TJ pulled back and plucked the underwear from Steve’s hands and put them in the basket, not letting the blond overthink it and change his mind.

Bucky relaxed and walked over “I can see you in a nice red, Steve . . .”

Flushing once more, Steve looked at Bucky quickly, trying to judge if his friend was teasing him, but Bucky looked serious and excited. Offering a smile, Steve said, "thanks . . . might consider it if I like how the blue feel?” Nodding once, he said, “we still need your vibrator?” taking TJ’s hand. Steve walked him back to that larger display. “Now, on this package it says that using one of these anally can be dangerous without a flange to stop it from getting lost in the colon?” glancing over at another package, reading it carefully, Steve said, “hey, this one’s made especially for anal play, pet. It’s got a built in flange and a three speed vibrator with low noise reduction?”

TJ looked at the vibrator for a few long moments before nodding, “that one looks good.”

“It’s got a strap so you can walk around with it not falling out, too.” Steve began to read the small amount of info on the back concerning the strap. “Would you like to walk around with your ass full, pet?”

Mewling softly, TJ nodded.

Glancing up, Steve smiled at the reaction and dropped the package into the basket. “I take that as a yes.”

“I am so turned on right now,” TJ whined, dropping his head to Steve’s shoulder.

“God, I’m so horny,” Bucy complained. He adjusted himself yet again, his semi-erection having never gone away since he’d walked into the sex shop. Trying to distract himself, Bucky turned and started looking over the movies and books for sale.

Laughing, Steve nodded. “Yeah, and we haven’t even covered half the store yet. I need bondage material desperately to go with my knot tying book . . .” he winked.

Natasha hummed softly as she wandered the store, looking at various items. She picked up a package of nipple vibrators; she turned the item in her hands to look at the back before putting them in the basket Bucky held.

Whimpering in need, TJ suddenly wished he had worn underwear, maybe then his erection might not be _so_ noticeable.

Watching TJ, Steve raised his voice and asked, “Abraham? Is it rude for a customer to purchase something then go put it on in the bathroom?”

“It does not bother me if you use your purchases right away,” Abraham glanced up.

Nodding, Steve walked over to the counter and slipped the anal vibrator package on the counter. “He wants this right now, please.”

Abraham nodded and rang it up on his register. “Would you like lubricant with that?”

“Yes, strawberry flavored,” Steve confirmed seeing the bottle on the counter and making a snap decision.

TJ watched the other men with wide eyes; he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. His member twitched and he tried to cover himself to block his obvious erection. A soft stroke across his ass alerted him that Bucky stood very close to his twin.

Whimpering at the touch, TJ looked up at his twin and mewled, wanting nothing more than for Bucky to bend him over and fill him so full.

Smiling, Bucky softly said, “looking forward to tonight, brother mine.”

Steve’s large body shifted to block TJ’s view and he placed something else on the counter. “And that. I’ll buy the rest later, but we want these right now, please.” After the items were rung up and Steve paid, with his credit card no less, he turned and held out the lube and vibrator. “Go in the bathroom, get yourself ready, then strap that on, pet. I’m nowhere near done shopping for us.”

With perfect obedience, TJ grabbed the offered items and hurried off to the restroom with a small whimper.

Taking a deep breath, setting the basket on the counter, Steve scooped up the other item and headed to the girl’s rest room. He locked himself in and carefully put on his own chosen item. Finally he came back out, something balled in his large hand, and walked over to the counter, silently glad that he, TJ, Bucky, and Natasha were the only customers at the moment. He felt like his heart wanted to hammer through his chest and he took a hit on his inhaler to ease his chest, trying to calm his nerves before they got dangerous. Steve waited patiently to give TJ time to open himself up then situate the vibrator, falling into a discussion of science fiction with the store owner and finding they enjoyed the same types of literature, including historical treatises. He ignored Bucky and Natasha for the moment, letting them pick out some things to match their own curiosity or desire.

Bucky touched a leather flog, the handle covered in braided black and red leather while the individual tails were of flat, soft red leather. Smiling, Bucky looked over to his wife then back to the flogger. He walked over and slipped the device into the basket she held.

Natasha quirked a brow at her husband but didn’t say anything, just turned back to the collars she had been looking at. She grabbed one and turned it over in interest: the package read _Puppy Shock Collar_. She smirked after reading the description and warnings and then slipped it into Bucky’s basket.

Bucky didn’t notice as he was actually studying a display of items marked _‘Chastity Supplies.’_ He reached out to take one down and begin reading the back, much like Steve and Natasha had been doing all along. Eyes wide and darkening, Bucky shook his head and turned the package back over so he could eye the picture of a leather thong with straps fastened on the front to hold the erection securely up and out of range of stimulation. He drew his bottom lip into his mouth and looked back at the words on the back, reading again.

Several minutes passed and TJ still hadn’t come out yet.

Steve glanced over with a slight smile and walked to the door. “Need help, pet?” he called into the room.

TJ’s breathy moan could be heard from outside the door.

Chuckling, Steve called, “don’t tell me you turned it _on_ without permission?”

“Sir?” TJ called out, sounding even more needy than when he’d left.

“You turn that off right now and get out here, pet, or I’ll drag you out in the nude!” Steve continued to smile through his threat.

Another minute passed before the door opened, revealing a flushed TJ; his blown eyes looked up at his boyfriend.

“You got it in and off, right?” Steve asked.

“Got it in,” TJ smirked, a wicked glint in his eye.

“And off?” Steve prompted again.

Humming, looking thoughtful, TJ tilted his head, “but, Captain, it feels so _good_.”

Steve, feeling a bit more sure of himself in the small shop with only the helpful Abraham, the lovely TJ, and his close friends around did something he never would have had the courage to before TJ. He grabbed his lover’s arm, whirled him around, and pulled his pants down, checking on the vibrator’s setting.

Bucky saw and groaned low, nearly dropping the chastity belt.

TJ had actually turned the vibrator off; he’d fibbed to Steve just to see what the man would do . . . and Steve did not disappoint. TJ gasped and mewled as Steve moved him forcibly around.

“You naughty boy, TJ,” Steve rasped low. He stroked TJ’s butt cheeks then gave each a sharp admonishing slap. Pulling the sweatpants back up, Steve nodded. “Well, I was going to offer you underwear, but I think not. Instead, you may carry them.” He held out the bundle trapped in his other hand then let the material dangle, revealing his silk boxers.

Whimpering, TJ looked at the boxers and then his even more obvious erection; the slap to his ass had driven him into a near desperation, “sir . . . peo - - people will . . . see.” 

“See what, pet?” Steve asked, handing the material directly to TJ.

TJ took the boxers and moaned, the vibrator shifting inside him with the movement, “my . . . ah - -”

“Your beautiful erection?” Steve supplied on a smile. “Then by all means, cum.”

Bucky shook his head, moaning again. He headed for the men’s room and shut himself in, too needy himself to keep his hands off his erection. He needed release.

Blinking, TJ looked at Steve . . . if he came he’d really mess up his pants, and it’d still be obvious what had happened.

Natasha watched what was going on with interest, smirking.

Leaning close, Steve whispered, “go back into the restroom, make yourself cum, then come back out here and finish shopping. I’ll even give you something to think about while you masturbate.” Steve pulled the front of his sweatpants out, revealing he wore the blue lingerie.

TJ let out a low groan and breathed, “oh - - sir . . .” he reached out to touch the lace, not asking for permission.

Softly, Steve asked, “like it?” He sounded nervous, almost as shy as Bucky had claimed Steve to be weeks before.

“Love it, Captain,” TJ moaned out, fingers brushing against the soft material over his lover’s pelvis.

“I . . . TJ, I feel pretty . . . I feel sexy in them,” he smiled softly at his boyfriend.

“You _are_ pretty, sir, so pretty,” TJ breathed.

“Please go relieve yourself then come back to help me shop for us, pet? I wanna know you got so excited that you had to cum in the store . . .” Steve offered an encouraging smile. “And you can wash up in there, too. I don’t mind. I’ll buy a few surprises while you’re busy?”

Nodding, TJ ducked back into the bathroom. He hadn’t even realized that Bucky had went in before him. TJ watched with wide eyes at the sight of his brother masturbating. The smaller brunet mewled and whimpered.

Turning, cock in hand, Bucky moaned low at being caught by his twin. “Damn . . . come here, brother mine,” he demanded softly, eyes intense.

Hurrying over, TJ crashed his lips to Bucky’s, his long fingers replacing his brother’s on Bucky’s cock, stroking it.

Fumbling TJ’s sweatpants down, Bucky grabbed his twin’s member and began matching TJ, stroke for stroke, his own tongue sliding into his brother’s mouth.

Groaning softly into the kiss, TJ tilted his head so their mouths sealed better, his tongue pushing into Bucky’s mouth to taste and tease his twin. “Love you, Buck . . .”

Stumbling back to land on the toilet seat, Bucky pulled TJ onto his lap, his thighs spread a bit. “God, Teej, I love you so much.” He reached behind his brother and pulled the vibrator from his passage. “Need you . . .” he groaned softly. “Put me in, brother . . . ride me . . .”

Mewling, TJ nodded and, steadying Bucky’s cock with one hand, guided his twin until the head pressed against his opening. With a low moan, TJ sank down, filling himself with his twin’s member, “God . . . so good, Buck . . . love how you fill me . . .”

“So tight for me, TJ,” Bucky moaned, keeping his voice soft to avoid carrying outside of the bathroom. He began using his strong thigh and leg muscles to lift himself up to fuck deeper into TJ’s hot ass. “You feel so good, TJ.”

Panting, head falling back, TJ rode his brother quick, hard and desperate. His hands rested on Bucky’s strong shoulders to help him steady his rise and fall.

Bottoming out over and over, his cock stroking across TJ’s prostate as much as he could, Bucky drove onward, his balls heavy and tight, knowing he was close. There had been a lot of sex talk and build up, which kept Bucky on edge the entire morning. Now, as he thrust into his twin’s body, he moaned out, “so close, Teej . . . so damn close . . .”

Mewling softly, TJ nodded his agreement, unable to produce words. His hips slipped out of the fast rhythm he’d set. He groaned again, small and needy as he felt himself edging closer to his orgasm.

“You close?” Bucky moaned, reaching over and grabbing a handful of paper towels. He carefully held those towels over TJ’s lap but slipped his left hand under the towels to begin slowly, awkwardly stroking his brother’s cock with the damaged hand. “Cum for me, my love,” he whispered, wanting to share their orgasmic release.

With a soft cry, TJ’s back arched, pushing himself into his brother’s weaker hand as he came, striping the towels and Bucky’s hand with thick, hot cum.

Burying his face into his brother's shoulder to quiet his own cries as he came hard, painting TJ’s walls in thick jets of seed, spilling over to leak from his brother’s passage and onto his own pelvis, Bucky’s hips continued to stutter, chasing the orgasmic stimulation.

TJ looked back down at his brother, cheeks flushed with release; he leaned over and kissed his twin, pulling and nipping at his bottom lip.

Kissing back, whispering his love, Bucky slowly pulled out of his brother. He used more towels to clean up TJ’s leaking passage. Finally, kissing TJ hard, Bucky carefully re-inserted the vibrator into TJ’s ass and slapped his hip gently. “All better, brother mine?”

Getting his breathing under control, TJ squirmed and nodded; the vibrator pushed against his cum-slicked walls but luckily didn’t brush against his prostate. “Yes . . you?”

“Yeah, for now I’m _much_ better, TJ.” Bucky smiled in satisfaction and kissed his twin again. He pulled TJ’s pants back up then hurriedly cleaned himself up and tucked himself away. “We should go back out there and see what else Steve wants us to play with. I think I’m really gonna like having him come up with ideas once in awhile.”

Nodding, TJ eased up on shaky legs and mewled again as the vibrator shifted and moved inside him.

__As they waited for TJ to come back out for the bathroom, Steve closed his sweatpants, hiding his blue laced erection, and flushed, glancing over at the shop owner, who deliberately kept his eyes on the novel. Steve looked over at Natasha with a small, almost bashful smile._ _

__“Blue looks good on you, Steve,” she commented and then looked around the shop. Her lips pulled into a small frown as she looked around again. Stepping closer, Natasha whispered, “you see Bucky?”_ _

__Glancing around in surprise, Steve shook his head. “He made a comment about red underwear, but I don’t remember him after that? I was kind of distracted with TJ.”_ _

__“He couldn’t have left,” Natasha shook her head, walking away to look for her husband, though she was pretty sure he wasn’t in the main shop area; there weren’t many places he could hide._ _

__Dropping his voice, eyes wide, he whispered, “could he be . . .damn . . .” Steve looked towards the restrooms. “He’s in the bathroom . . .”_ _

__“With TJ,” Natasha shook her head, voice barely an audible whisper._ _

__Nodding, Steve shook his head. “We’ll have to talk to them about this, Natasha. At home is one thing . . . but with our new information, I think it’s too dangerous . . .”_ _

__Nodding her agreement, Natasha looked at Abraham, who seemed not to notice . . . but it was hard to tell for sure._ _

__The older man turned his page and continued to read the book._ _

__Sighing, Steve softly said, “maybe I shouldn’t have sent TJ in to masterbate. But he’s always so needy . . .” Steve was painfully erect himself, but he could hold off. He had long practice in waiting. He guessed TJ could, too, but in these early days, Steve didn’t want to deny TJ any pleasure. He wanted TJ to know that Steve was all about making him feel good, letting him touch and explore, giving him free love and acceptance; it was hard to believe they’d only been together for a few days. But with the law against them, he didn’t want the twins to risk getting caught in their blind lust._ _

__Knowing there was nothing he could do at the moment about the twins, Steve began going over some of the objects for sale again, quietly perusing, reading, comparing, and picking out a few things, walking beside Natasha as he shopped. “This says it’s an electrical stimulation on the nipples? What do you think? Someone hooking up electricity to your breasts?” He looked at Natasha curiously._ _

__“As long as it’s not too much electricity, it should be fun,” Natasha nodded._ _

__Steve nodded and walked to the counter to begin going through the catalogues and talk softly to Abraham._ _

__Finally TJ returned, his cheeks flushed and his erection not pronounced anymore._ _

__“And I will have those delivered,” Abraham finished saying as Steve turned an approving smile on TJ. “There you are, pet. Feeling better?”_ _

__“Yes, sir, thank you,” TJ smiled at his boyfriend._ _

__Bucky walked out of the restroom looking quite calm and happy, a bit flushed but not as much as TJ._ _

__“Still strapped on or decided that was too much right now?” Steve asked curiously, thinking his boyfriend probably left out the vibrator now he’d had his twin’s cock._ _

__“Still in,” TJ looked a little nervous, worried he’d chosen wrong._ _

__“Good boy!” Steve enthusiastically praised. “My precious, smart boy. That’s what I want to hear.” He walked over and kissed TJ’s lips as an instant reward. Softly, he said, “we’ll talk about the bathroom when we get home, you naughty boy.”_ _

__Smiling into the kiss, TJ loved the praise and reassurance that he’d done right. His smile faded slightly at Steve’s words, suddenly realizing what he and Bucky had done . . . he hadn’t even been thinking about the laws . . . just his need. “What did you get?” He asked softly, eyes downcast, worried he might be in _real_ trouble._ _

__“Surprises,” Steve answered with a chuckle, keeping his tone light to reassure TJ that no one was in trouble at the moment. “But I think you’ll approve. So, ready to look at bindings? I need definite help with those, and with stuff for your whipping?” Steve guided TJ over to the spanking displays. “For instance, would you prefer thin and flexible, might leave marks and sting, or would you prefer padded and short? Not really painful, more a reminder . . . or something a bit harder, unyielding, like a school paddle?”_ _

__TJ looked at all the choices, letting Steve’s words repeat a few times._ _

__“I mean, how much do you wanna be marked up? How long you wanna feel it after?” Steve reached over for a heavy leather strap lined with thick fur._ _

__“I’d like to be able to have some marks . . . if that’s okay with you?” TJ said, looking over at Steve._ _

__“Right now, we’re talking about what’s okay with you, pet. It’s _your_ body. No face marks, no knife play. But you’re the one who may get scarred or have trouble walking. I wanna know what you’re comfortable with.”_ _

__“What about,” TJ pulled down a small paddle, “might leave bruises but nothing permanent?”_ _

__Smiling, putting the leather strap back on it’s hanger, Steve took the paddle and swung it a couple of times, smacking it loudly across his palm. “Like that?” He held up his reddened palm._ _

__TJ watched Steve practice and then eyed the reddened palm, nodding, almost breathlessly, “yeah, like that.”_ _

__“Course on your soft sweet ass, it’ll be harder and leave more marks. That good for you? That gonna remind you what you need to learn?” Steve added the idea that he would be using this for discipline, among other things._ _

__“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded._ _

__“Anything else here you think might help you, pet? Wanna make sure you learn well.” Steve grinned at TJ, hoping he was proving that TJ could have choices in his own pain without taking over the control of it completely._ _

__Looking at the wall, eyeing the different paddles, whips and canes, TJ bit his bottom lip thoughtfully._ _

__Softly, Steve offered, “no matter what you choose, pet, we can start slow and build up as you need it, right?”_ _

__Nodding, TJ looked back to Steve and said, “maybe just start with the paddle?”_ _

__“That’s a great idea. See if that works or not then move on if we need to. Thank you for helping me learn this for you, pet.” Steve leaned over and kissed TJ, caressing his cheek and neck._ _

__TJ preened under the praise and nuzzled Steve’s neck._ _

__“Wanna hug, TJ?” Steve offered, holding open his arms, eyes nervous suddenly as if he just realized once again they were in public, though he’d never really forgotten._ _

__Not seeing the nervousness, as his face was buried in Steve’s neck, TJ wrapped his arms around the large blond and nestled closer._ _

__Bucky stepped up behind Natasha and kissed her neck softly. “Heya, doll,” he purred._ _

__Natasha looked over at Bucky and gave him a soft smile, “hey.”_ _

__“Finding what you like? What turns you on?” He tugged her red hair lightly, playfully._ _

__“Found a few things while you were _busy_ ,” she quipped, her brow quirked as she looked at her husband._ _

__Nodding, Bucky dropped his voice, “we weren’t . . . loud?” he asked hopefully. He made no secret from Natasha about what had happened, but he certainly hoped they hadn’t draw attention._ _

__“No,” she answered before turning back to look at what Steve and TJ had been looking at._ _

__Steve hugged TJ back, trying to control his own stiffness as he fought his fear of being found out, of losing his job and being shamed and hurt. Steve buried his face in TJ’s neck and inhaled a shaky breath._ _

__Hearing the shaky, nervous breath, TJ pulled back, eyes softening in worry, “getting overwhelmed, sir?”_ _

__“A bit, but . . . but I don’t wanna let go? I feel like everything’s gonna be okay as long as you hold me, even though us holding is the thing that can make everything go wrong.” Steve lifted his face and offered a small, worried smile to TJ._ _

__TJ didn’t comment on the oddity of Steve thinking that a simple hug, something that could be seen as a _friendly_ gesture, could lead to things going wrong, but the blond thought nothing of pulling down his lover’s pants in the same public to check for anal vibrator levels._ _

__Nestling close to Steve’s side, TJ guided Steve with an arm around his waist, to the many different types of bindings, something Steve seemed very excited about trying. Every step he took caused the vibrator to move and shift inside of him, keeping him constantly on the edge of being aroused._ _

__Stopping in front of the bindings, Steve took a slow breath and let it out. He nodded. “Okay, knot tying . . . we have so many materials and lengths and colors!” He reached out and touched a vibrant blue inadvertently picking one that matched his new lingerie. “And this picture shows bindings on legs, knees, ankles, waist . . . even the neck. We’re not doing choking, so neck’s out, right?” Steve sounded a bit worried, suitably distracted for the time being. “We’ve already got a red rope . . .”_ _

__“No choking . . . I like to be able to breathe . . . a little pressure is fine, but you can’t cut off my air supply completely,” TJ nodded, picking up a bundle of black sex tape, enough length that his entire body could be bound up with it._ _

__“I’m not sure I can do any kind of choking. We’ll have to consider that a bit when I’ve gotten a bit more used to this, okay? I’m too afraid I’ll hurt you and you won't be able to safe word.” Steve glanced at the tape with a curious tilt to his head. “Houdini fetish?” he teased very lightly, not wanting TJ to think he was putting the idea down or anything, in case that was exactly what it was._ _

__TJ shrugged, not taking his eyes off the tape, “maybe I like the idea of being completely immobile and you just using me as you see fit.”_ _

__“Oh, does it have to be tape or rope every time, or can I wrap you in a comforter like a swaddle cloth?” Steve grinned wider._ _

__“Eh . . . maybe not that,” TJ laughed, crinkling his nose in dislike._ _

__“Ah, no baby fetish. Got it,” Steve chuckled. He stroked TJ’s neck gently, giving him a reward of touch for discussing this, not being afraid to say his limits. “So, you like rope and immobility? Do you like other kind of binding? Like these pictures?”_ _

__“I like being tied up,” TJ nodded, dropping the roll of tape in the basket and then looking up at Steve._ _

__Nodding, Steve said, “okay, maybe I’m not being clear. Do you like the idea of being tied to bed posts? Spread open?” He touched the particular picture he was looking at._ _

__TJ nodded, “yeah.”_ _

__“Cool. So, other forms of tying. Hands, wrists, tying you like I kidnapped you and am making you march? Or do you want full out encircling, like Houdini? Because, I don’t wanna push you to safe word because I got too rope happy.” Steve suddenly grinned widely. “Hey, I got an idea, TJ. Why don’t we get a book on all kinds of bondage and we can mark what we like in the book?” He looked down at his lover._ _

__“That sounds like a really good idea, because I honestly like all types of bondage,” TJ nodded with a smile._ _

__Bucky wandered over and smiled at their happiness. “So, find something else kinky enough for us?” He bumped shoulders with Steve who offered him an amused smile._ _

__TJ grinned at his brother and retrieved then offered the bondage tape, “that kinky enough for you?”_ _

__“It’s a start,” Bucky laughed and turned to his wife. “Look, a toy for you, doll!” He held up the tape._ _

__Natasha smiled at her husband, looking at the tape he held, “could do a lot with that.”_ _

__“Oh, yeah we could.” He eyed his twin then slid the tape into his own basket. “Hey,Teej, did you see this?” Bucky touched one of the bondage kits for beginners that were on display. “Maybe we can tie Steve up and have our wicked way with him as a group?”_ _

__TJ’s eyes widened slightly and he looked at Steve, fearing that Bucky’s words might trigger something in his boyfriend, who’d been a victim of a vicious group attack . . . while being tied up._ _

__Steve blinked and shrugged, licking his lips but showing little interest in the idea, though he’d mentioned an interest in being bound before. “Maybe one at a time . . .”_ _

__Noting Steve’s subdued answer, Bucky wanted to kick himself for forgetting his friend’s trauma. “That would work, too,” Bucky smoothly agreed._ _

__Natasha patted Bucky on the shoulder._ _

__Bucky offered a worried smile to his wife. He cleared his throat and turned back to the other couple. “Or, we could try that door thing . . .”_ _

__Steve mentioned “we’re going to get some books to mark what we want to try out. Right, TJ?” He nuzzled at his boyfriend’s neck._ _

__“Right,” TJ agreed with a nod._ _

__Laughing, Steve hugged TJ to him. “My precious boy,” he praised._ _

__TJ grinned pushing against Steve’s side._ _

__“And we can each use a different color ink to mark what we wanna try out?” He looked at the rope in TJ’s basket, “ So you know how much rope to use on me, too?” Steve met TJ’s eyes with a grin. “I’m interested in that wrists and knees tied to bed posts . . .”_ _

__Nodding, TJ smiled and said, “I can try . . . don’t know how good I’ll be at tying . . maybe Nat can help with the tying?”_ _

__Natasha looked at TJ and gave the lean brunet a smile, “yeah, I can help.”_ _

__“Well, that’s what practice is for, isn’t it, pet?” Steve kissed his lips quickly. “So, aside from your bright red rope that can probably be seen in the dark at fifty feet, and Bucky’s tape, what else should we use? The scarves are pretty . . . and they don’t hurt according to Peggy.”_ _

__Reaching out to feel the scarves, TJ shook his head, “as long as you don’t tighten them too tight, they’ll be great, really soft.”_ _

__“What if I learn a slip knot so we can untie ourselves if it gets too much?” Steve gestured to the knot tying book in the basket._ _

__“Sounds like a good idea,” TJ nodded._ _

__Steve spotted something else and frowned. He reached out and touched the soft pink fur wrapped around some handcuffs. “Those look dangerous.”_ _

__“Eh, yeah, I’ve always preferred rope or scarves over handcuffs,” TJ said absently._ _

__“Never tried cuffs,” Bucky laughed. “Hey, Doll, ever want to try on a cop uniform in our sexcapades?”_ _

__Rolling her eyes playfully, Natasha scrunched her nose, “have a cop fetish, dear?”_ _

__Shaking his head, Bucky leered, “no, a robber fetish. I wanna sneak in, raid your panties, and give ‘em to Steve to model for me.”_ _

__Steve flushed brightly but laughed rather than take offense. “Jerk.”_ _

__“Pretty punk,” Bucky shot back on a grin, glad Steve had gotten over the trauma reminder._ _

__Steve flushed and looked at TJ pressed against him. Dropping his voice, he said, “your brother’s threatening his wife’s underwear drawer.”_ _

__TJ shrugged, “I don’t know how he expects you to fit into Nat’s panties . . .”_ _

__“Maybe he means her new crotchless panties?” Steve asked as Bucky snickered._ _

__“How about we leave my panties alone,” Natasha quipped._ _

__“Hard to have sex if we don’t touch them,” Bucky remarked, which earned him a playful punch to the shoulder from his wife._ _

__Steve smiled down at TJ as he left the cuffs on the peg. “Did you know we’re very compatible over sexcapades?” He deliberately used Bucky’s word for it._ _

__Snorting a laugh, TJ nodded, “we seem to agree on a lot of things.”_ _

__“And others we’re willing to try first,” Steve agreed. “I think that’s enough for now. I’m probably blue, I ache so bad.”_ _

__TJ nodded; he looked around once more. He noticed a section they hadn’t even talked about, let alone browsed, “sir? How do you feel about gags?”_ _

__“Gags?” Steve looked thoughtfully at the area TJ faced. “Honestly? Never actually thought about them. Wanna check them out, pet?”_ _

__Bucky caught his bottom lip between his teeth, wondering if gags were along the lines of group bondage but Steve just responded politely for TJ’s sake._ _

__Looking back at Steve, TJ nodded, “just real quick?”_ _

__“Quick, but enough time to find the safe ones, pet. I can wait a bit more.” He offered a smile of reassurance to his boyfriend. “And besides, the idea of having you tied to the bed, spread open, with a gag in your mouth so you can’t even scream for help . . . damn, now I _am_ aching!”_ _

__Moaning softly at the very naughty image, TJ nodded and looked at all the gags. After a few minutes he had a small ball gag and a gag with a large open ring._ _

__“Ever use one of these, TJ?” Steve asked, looking over the back of the package of the smaller gag._ _

__“Mhmm,” TJ confirmed absently, nodding his head as he looked at the gags._ _

__Glancing down at TJ, Steve took the other gag and held them both in the air, forcing TJ to look up at him. “Words, pet.”_ _

__“Yes, sir, I’ve used them before,” TJ amended with a flush._ _

__“Both kinds?” Steve insisted._ _

__“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded._ _

__“Does it make your jaw ache?” Steve asked curiously, lowering the packages once more to look at the one with the open area meant, he suspected, for an erection to prod through._ _

__“It can if you leave them in too long . . .” TJ answered honestly._ _

__Nodding, Steve said, “we’ll have to figure out tolerance levels, pet.” He put the ringed gag package in the basket. The other he kept in one hand as he pulled a different version from the display, containing periodic holes in the ball. “This one looks safer for breathing. Which do you think?”_ _

__“The one with the holes looks good,” TJ nodded._ _

__With a smile, Steve slipped the one gag into the basket and the other back on the shelf. He grabbed another, matching, gag and put it in the basket, muttering, “in case a certain twin get’s sassy.”_ _

__TJ laughed and nodded and as the group walked up to the counter to finally check out; he asked, “want me to pay for some of the things?”_ _

__Steve studied TJ carefully then Bucky and Natasha before slowly saying, “I’m taking care of you and instructing you, so those things I pay for. Is there anything in here that you’ll be using on me? Or on each other without me?”_ _

__Looking down at the full basket with a soft frown, TJ tilted his head._ _

__Steve lay the scarves on the counter, “I picked out the scarves to be tied up with, so you can pay for them. Anything else?”_ _

__After going through the baskets and pulling out specifically stuff that Steve had wanted to try out, as well as a couple of things they would be trying out on each other while Bucky, Natasha, and TJ sorted out private kink from group scene equipment, Steve nodded. “Okay, that’s your share to pay for, pet. That’s Natasha’s and that’s Bucky’s. I’ll buy this stuff. Any other lingerie I wear do you wanna start buying?”_ _

__Nodding, TJ pulled out his wallet from his pocket._ _

__Grinning wickedly, Steve nodded. “Then you need to pay me back for some of the surprises.”_ _

__Quirking a brow, for a moment looking so much like his twin, TJ looked at Steve with a smirk, “that so?”_ _

__“Yeah, I picked out three more and have them on order because they’re to be made to my specific measurements.” He grinned widely, proud he’d managed to stand and let Abraham measure his pelvis, ass, and genitalia._ _

__Laughing softly, Bucky said, “missed that completely. Damn!”_ _

__Nodding, sliding his card when prompted by Abraham, TJ laughed, “okay . . . can’t wait to see them on.” He was happy Steve had found something that the blond really liked, that made Steve feel _pretty_ and _sexy_._ _

__“One’s light grey-blue,” Steve said, smiling. “One’s virginal white.” He left the third description unsaid._ _

__“Bet you’re going to look so pretty in them, sir,” TJ grinned, taking the nondescript black bag from Abraham._ _

__“I’ll definitely _feel_ pretty in them,” he lowered his voice. “I always had this idea that I’d like them . . . glad you helped me choose this for myself, pet. Because even though they’re damned tight in the front, these panties make me feel good.” Steve stepped forward to buy his larger amount of purchases, not batting an eye at paying several hundreds of dollars for sex toys with his new boyfriend and play group. “Oh, and the collar he’s wearing, Abraham. Don’t wanna accidentally steal that. Time to remove it, TJ, pet.” Steve touched the leather with red hearts, ignoring the one Bucky had paid for. It amused him that TJ had been wearing two collars that entire time._ _

__TJ had honestly forgot he’d had the collar on but now the prospect of removing it made him a bit sad. He liked the weight, the feeling of it on, the idea of walking around and having everyone know he was Steve’s. Slowly, TJ carefully removed the leather collar and handed it over to Steve._ _

__With a kiss of approval, Steve carefully slid the collar into the bag of goodies. “You can wear it in the apartment if you’re a good boy, pet.” He took TJ’s bag and handed them to Abraham. “Can those be delivered by tonight, please? I gotta bring this guy to get my work still, and there’s one other store we need to hit.” Steve did accept a small gift bag from Abraham without revealing what might sit inside._ _

__Tilting his head, TJ looked at Steve, “what store, sir?”_ _

__“Food, pet, we’re nearly empty at the apartment.” Steve wrapped an arm around TJ and gave him one last hug before releasing him so they could walk from the shop. Finally, Steve lowered TJ’s hand and slowly, reluctantly let it go. Back out to the real world. He turned and led his friends out to the city streets and down the block towards the campus. “Soon we’ll get my tests to grade and we can go food shopping and back home, okay, pet?” he whispered softly to the man next to him._ _

__Nodding, TJ smiled, anxious to get back to the apartment and try out some of their new things. He kept absently touching the choker that Bucky had given him, a wide smile on his face as he had proof for the world of one of the men he belonged to._ _

__Shortly they walked through the campus grounds and into the Humanities wing. Steve unlocked his classroom door and opened it, going in to retrieve his test papers. As he sorted through the mess to make sure he had the papers for each class, he let TJ fend for himself a bit. Bucky took the opportunity to head to his own classroom for a few forgotten items; Natasha decided to follow her husband._ _

__A low rasp came from the hall behind TJ. “Nice trinket, Hammond.”_ _

__Whirling around, TJ glared at the P.E. teacher, heart beating rapidly in his chest, “fuck off, Rumlow.”_ _

__“Really? Right here? Okay, drop ‘em,” Brock laughed._ _

__Narrowing his eyes, TJ growled, “leave us alone. I’ll call the police.” TJ reached into his pocket to try and grab his phone._ _

__“That a gift from Rogers?” Brock walked over and touched the choker then dropped his hand. “Ohh, must feel good being a kept man. You a boy toy? A slut for him to pound whenever he can get it up, missing his girlfriend? How’s it feel knowing he needs to take _Viagra_ to even get hard for you?”_ _

__TJ pushed Brock away forcibly, not wanting Steve to have to get involved, “get the fuck away from me, Brock. I mean it. And don’t you fucking talk about Steve like that. He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be.”_ _

__“So, he hasn’t let you see him take his drugs, huh? You get sick of being a replacement _girl_ , you come to me. Remember the other day, Hammond. You were a bitch in heat, begging for my cock then.” Brock cupped himself, drawing attention to his thick bulge._ _

__Leaning forward, TJ hissed, “get it through your thick skull, Rumlow. _I don’t want you._ I never _wanted_ you. You are a sick, disgusting man.”_ _

__“You bothered by him, TJ?” Steve growled softly from his classroom doorway, a large sheaf of papers and a limp backpack in one arm. His phone was already out, in his other hand, and the sound of ringing interrupted by a man’s voice._ _

__“I told you we’re calling the police, Rumlow,” TJ growled, eyes narrowed in Brock’s direction._ _

__“No, you were about to spread your ass for me and let me fuck you like the whore you are . . .” Brock countered. He didn’t seem bothered by the emergency operator’s voice coming from Steve’s phone._ _

__Steve lifted the phone to his mouth. “I’d like to report a stalker named Brock Rumlow at the Brooklyn Academy. You’ll find he’s wanted for rape on a school grounds.”_ _

__Brock glared at Steve, crossing his arms defiantly over his chest._ _

__Taking TJ’s elbow and pulling him away from the suddenly angry and muted Rumlow, Steve growled, “C’mon, TJ.” He pulled his boyfriend into the classroom and slammed the door, locking it. “Call Bucky and warn him that Rumlow’s on the loose on campus.”_ _

__Nodding, TJ finally managed to pull out his phone and dialed his brother’s number with shaky fingers before holding it to his ear. His pale eyes kept flickering to the door to see if Rumlow still stood out in the hallway._ _

__“Bucky,” his brother answered his phone, sounding amused by something._ _

__“Rumlow’s on campus. Steve locked us in his classroom . . .” TJ reported._ _

__Before his brother could finish, Bucky called, “Nat, in here. Lock the door!”_ _

__The sound of sirens came to the pair in the history classroom, and Brock roared and slammed his hand on the door, rattling the glass in the window. He turned and took off at a run._ _

__Sliding the papers into the backpack followed by the small gift bag from _Imago_ , Steve frowned severely, phone held between shoulder and cheek. Once he’d freed up a hand, Steve took his phone once more from his shoulder, slipping the backpack over his other shoulder._ _

__TJ jumped and dropped the phone, letting it clatter to the floor; he didn’t even register the sound of shattering glass from his phone screen breaking. The lean brunet’s eyes were wide as he stared at the door in fear._ _

__Steve held out a hand to his boyfriend, his own phone still to his cheek as he stayed on the line with emergency. “C’mere, TJ, baby. Cuddle?”_ _

__With a soft sob, TJ hurried over and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, his entire body trembling. The feeling of shifting inside was no longer keeping him on the edge of pleasure; his nerves were too raw, sending him teetering on the edge of illness instead._ _

__Noting his boyfriend’s reaction, Steve handed TJ his phone. “Hold that, baby. It’s the 911 operator. We’re to talk to him until the police arrive to escort us home.” After making sure TJ wasn’t going to drop the phone, Steve pulled his boyfriend’s pants down and bent him over slightly so he could ease the vibrator from his passage, having never forgotten his lover was stuffed full. Steve tugged TJ’s pants back up and hugged him, whispering, “better, baby?”_ _

__Barely managing to keep himself from openly sobbing, TJ nodded and tucked his head under Steve’s chin, still pressing the phone firmly to his ear._ _

__The man on the line said, “is the guy still visible?”_ _

__“N - - no . . . I - - I think he l - - left,” TJ answered softly, voice quivering with terror._ _

__“The police tell me they’re on campus, sir. Stay in the room. When the police get there, they will show you their identification through the window. When that happens, let me know. I can tell you who it’s supposed to be.”_ _

__“O - - okay,” TJ muttered, keeping himself pressed firmly to Steve’s chest._ _

__“You’re doing good, sir. Take some slow breathes for me, okay?” the operator instructed calmly._ _

__“O - - okay,” TJ repeated before taking a few deep, shaky breaths. His body still trembled and he wanted to go home. The apartment was safe._ _

__The sound of a knock on the door caused TJ to jump again but he didn’t drop the phone this time; instead he let out a tiny, scared whimper._ _

__Steve looked to the door and called, “who is it?” He had a dominant, challenging growl in his tones._ _

__“Clint Barton, detective.” A badge went up to the window, showing the shield for the local police as well as the identification card of the man out in the hall._ _

__“C - - Clint Bar - - Barton,” TJ reported to the operator on the other line._ _

__“That’s right. He and his partner, Frank Castle, should be out there.” The operator sounded just as calm. “Barton is a sandy blond and Castle has dark hair.”_ _

__TJ peeked from Steve’s chest to look at the window and the cops standing out in the hall._ _

__Barton matched his identification, looking grim as he eyed the hall, a taller raven-haired man with a military stance right behind him, hand on his holstered weapon. He, too held up his identification, marked _‘Franklin Castle’_._ _

__“T - - that’s them . . .” TJ reported softly, still sounding overwhelmed and terrified._ _

__Steve verified the detectives’ identified and nodded. He guided TJ to the door and unlocked it. Slipping TJ behind him, the large blond opened the door. He nodded to the detectives. “Thanks for coming. Rumlow took off down the hall. One of his other victims is in this wing, Languages Department. We tried to warn her, but . . .”_ _

__Nodding, Castle said, “I’m escorting you out of here. Barton, go find the woman.”_ _

__“Find the woman?” Barton shook his head, looking slightly amused and more exasperated. “Caveman, much, Frank?” He turned and headed down the hall, though, in search of the Languages Department._ _

__Steve hugged TJ and allowed the detective to lead them from campus, quietly directing Frank Castle the block to the apartment and allowing him to check for hidden threats before they stopped before the apartment door. “Thank you, detective.”_ _

__Frank nodded. “Need to get as much information as you can give me.”_ _

__And thus the next fifteen minutes went by as Steve answered all of Frank’s questions before the detective finally headed out once more. Steve let them into the apartment and locked the door, knowing Bucky and Natasha had their own keys to get in if they wanted to. He let the backpack slide from his shoulder to the floor._ _

__TJ hugged himself tightly, still trembling as he watched Steve lock the door. His icy blue eyes were nearly glazed over in fear._ _

__“Doing okay, baby?” Steve asked._ _

__Shaking his head, TJ wrapped his arms tighter around himself._ _

__Nodding, Steve tugged him into a tight embrace and kissed his neck. “I’m right here, baby. I’ve got you. I won’t let that bastard hurt you.”_ _

__“I - - I’m sorry . . .” TJ whimpered, burying his face into Steve’s strong chest._ _

__“Sorry? For what? Being human?” Steve cuddled TJ and nuzzled his temple. “I _love_ you, baby. Nothing to be sorry for there.”_ _

__“I - - I mess everything up - - I . . . I made e - - everyone b - - be in danger . . .” TJ muttered helplessly._ _

__“How’d you mess today up?” Steve rocked TJ a bit, planting a kiss on his temple. “You didn’t put anyone in danger, Rumlow did. Not _your_ fault, TJ.” Strangely it felt like Steve might be erect in his pants even after the fearful encounter._ _

__“W - - want me t - - to take care of you, Steve?” TJ asked softly._ _

__“Huh?” Steve pulled back a bit to look at TJ._ _

__“You . . . uh - -” TJ looked down at Steve’s obvious erection tenting his sweats. “I - - I can take care of that . . .”_ _

__Looking down, Steve actually let out a chuckle. “Oh, okay. While you take care of that, I’ll tend the fur babies.” He reached down into his tight lacy panties and pulled out the vibrator, handing it to TJ, still covered in cum and lube. Flushing, grinning, Steve said, “no room in my pockets.”_ _

__Flushing, TJ nodded and took the toy, walking it to bathroom so he could clean it._ _

__“Hey, TJ . . . that was kinda sexy, having you and Bucky so close . . .” he headed into the kitchen to tend Phil and Luna._ _

__“Close?” TJ asked; he seemed to be calming down now that he was back home where it was safe._ _

__“Yeah, now I got both of you all over my own crotch,” Steve said, revealing that he liked being dirtied by his lovers’ fluids._ _

__Finishing with the toy, TJ dropped it off in the bedroom before walking back into the main living area where his boyfriend was. He gave Steve a soft smile, “I’ll have to remember that you like to get a little dirty.”_ _

__“Sometimes a lot dirty,” Steve confirmed with a wicked smile. He snapped a leash on Phil’s collar. “Gotta take Phil for a walk. Want us to try to wait for your brother first, or will you be okay?”_ _

__“No, it’s okay - - I’ll be fine. J - - just take your keys so I can lock the door behind you guys?” TJ said softly._ _

__Nodding, Steve pulled phone and keys and inhaler from his pockets, displaying them, then put them back into his pockets. “Be back soon,” he assured and walked the dog from the apartment, locking it behind him. It was only after he left that TJ realized that Steve still hadn’t cleaned up from the vibrator. TJ sat on the edge of the couch, lightly hugging himself as he watched the door._ _

__A knock sounded followed instantly by Bucky’s voice calling, “opening the door, brother mine!” A key in the lock sounded._ _

__Not moving from his spot on the couch, TJ continued to watch the door._ _

__Bucky opened it and walked in, followed by his wife. He turned and locked the door behind them. Walking over to his twin, Bucky sank to the couch and opened his arms. “Cuddle?” he asked._ _

__TJ whimpered softly and leaned into Bucky’s opened arms, nuzzling at his twin’s neck. “‘M sorry I stopped talking to you . . . d - - dropped my phone.”_ _

__“Yeah, I know. Barton let us go to the room and we got the phone for you,” Bucky didn’t let go to retrieve his brother’s phone from his pocket. Instead he cuddled more and kissed his neck, eyes trailing over his wife to make sure she was as calm as she often pretended._ _

__Natasha watched the twins from where she sat on one of the stools. Nothing about her seemed to show that she was freaking out. They hadn’t even seen Rumlow . . . she knew if they’d had, it would’ve been hard to keep Bucky from going after him._ _

__A knock sounded on the door before a key sounded in the lock. “TJ? I’m coming in, baby,” Steve called. He opened the door and walked in with the happy puppy, closing and locking the door. “Oh, good. You guys okay?”_ _

__“Yeah, I’m fine. Natasha’s quiet.” Bucky kissed TJ’s neck again, not taking his eyes from his wife._ _

__Natasha looked at her husband and then at Steve, “we didn’t see Rumlow. He didn’t leave through the Languages Department.”_ _

__Nodding, Steve moved over to firmly lay his hands on Natasha’s shoulders then squeeze gently. “I think now might be a good time for the presents I bought everyone.”_ _


	7. Establishing Limits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dom-Sub behavior, collars, spanking, intense feels, fear, PTSD reactions.

“Gifts?” Bucky perked up, still holding his brother. “You got us gifts, not just toys?”

Steve shook his head and chuckled. “Shoulda known. I think I’m spoiling him, Natasha . . .” He walked over to sit down on TJ’s other side then patted his own lap. “Natasha? Wanna join us?” He showed no sign of going for the backpack of school papers or the small gift bag from the store.

Smiling softly, Natasha walked over and sat on Steve’s lap. “He was already spoiled.”

Laughing, Steve nodded. “Okay, then he has to work for his gift. Buck, get up and go to my bag from _‘Imago’_ and bring it here. It’s in the backpack.”

Bucky hugged TJ once more and stood up to go retrieve the small bag, knowing that most of Steve’s purchases would be delivered later. He had no idea what would be small enough for the bag. Bringing it over, Bucky handed the bag to Steve before getting comfortable next to his brother again.

TJ leaned against his brother’s side, resting his head on Bucky’s shoulder as he looked over at Steve with curiosity.

Reaching over to stroke a hand down the back of TJ’s neck, fingers catching lightly on Bucky’s choker gift, Steve grinned. “Well, for Natasha . . .” he reached a hand in and pulled out a jewelry box, offering it to the woman nestled in his lap.

Natasha took the box with a smile and opened it carefully, her eyes widened slightly at the sight of a beautiful red and black choker. It was made with black interlinking rings with red lace woven through them, and a pendant dangled from the front with the words _‘Baby Girl’_ engraved into the metal. “Oh, thank you, Steve,” she breathed.

“You like it then? It’s your outside collar,” Steve smiled widely, stroking a hand through her red hair.

“It’s beautiful,” Natasha answered with a smile.

Steve returned the smile and kissed her lips softly. “It’ll look good on you, baby girl,” he purred.

Bucky frowned slightly. “Uh, not so sure about a collar for me, Steve, if that’s what’s in your bag.”

“Oh, don’t you think at all, Bucky. That’s my job.” Steve reached in and pulled out a box, handing it across TJ to Bucky. “For you, Buck.”

Bucky looked at TJ then opened the box, dreading one of those leather chokers TJ had preferred or the lacy kitten collar Natasha had. He already had his twin collar, after all. Pulling out the silver choker with the triskelion symbol, Bucky’s jaw dropped and his eyes lit up. He looked at Steve. “Nice . . . the yin yang is mixed up . . .”

Shaking his head with a chuckle, Steve explained, “that’s the triskelion, the BDSM symbol, Buck. It means _‘Safe, Sane, Consensual’_.”

Grinning, Bucky nodded and stroked the emblem. “I love it, Cap, thanks.”

“And you, pet,” Steve handed TJ a box. “For outdoors, but you can wear it until your indoor collars are delivered tonight.”

Lifting his head from Bucky’s shoulder, TJ took the box and opened it. His eyes widened and he looked at Steve and then the box. Inside sat a collar of etched metal, a swirled, curlicue pattern. The simple circle clasped in front, over the throat, in a heart with a heart shaped key hole in the center. A small heart shaped key on a silver chain sat in the box as well. Steve took the key on it’s chain. “That’s mine.”

“Steve . . .” TJ looked at his boyfriend, eyes still wide. He looked back down at the collar, fingers brushing over the cool metal. “Thank you, sir.” Obviously, the choker would be lot lighter than his at-home collar, but he could still feel it on his neck without it being uncomfortable. TJ grinned, “I like it . . . sir.”

Steve chuckled, eyes lighting up. “Well, I hope this collar is good enough, pet? It reminded me of you and our growing love.” Steve looked at TJ, reaching out absently to stroke his hand.

TJ grinned at his lover; they’d only been dating for a week, but TJ could honestly see them making it . . . growing old together. It was a scary, exciting thought that made a jolt run down his spine.

Steve turned to TJ, lifted his hand to his lips, and kissed those clever musician's fingers. “Mine,” he whispered.

“Your’s,” TJ responded instantly with a smile.

Lifting the metal choker, Steve fastened it around TJ’s neck where it settled right above the twin collar. Steve used the key to lock the clasp shut then put the chain around his own neck. “There,” he smiled and stroked the metal then leather collar, pleased that they fit in such a way that Steve’s collar was higher than Bucky’s on TJ’s slender neck.

Leaning across TJ, briefly, Steve took Bucky’s choker from him and slipped it on his best friend. Smiling softly at the way it fit above the twin collar on Bucky’s throat, as it should, Steve settled back and turned to Natasha. He slid the kitten collar from her and fastened it around her throat, smoothing the _‘Baby Girl’_ pendant over the hollow of her throat.

“I got you, TJ, and you, Natasha, at home collars, too, but Bucky will have to wear his outdoor collar while at home.” Steve’s voice sounded firm but loving. “So, if everyone’s okay with it, we should discuss rules and safe words and stuff. Set some of our limits.”

TJ nodded, settling back against his twin, laying his head back on Bucky’s shoulder. Natasha settled back against Steve as well.

“First, safe words,” Steve said, recalling Peggy’s first lessons from a couple of years before. “TJ?” he named his boyfriend first, because that would be the man he most often did scenes with, and as the dom, he really needed TJ’s limits.

“Just the basic. _Green_ , _yellow_ and _red_ ,” TJ offered, shrugging softly.

“No special safe word, pet?” Steve hugged Natasha and leaned over to kiss TJ’s cheek.

“Do I need one?” TJ looked at Steve, “usually I’d just use _red_ if I wanted something to stop.”

“That works for me, TJ, just checking. Peggy had four words, but I think three might be easier. So, _Green_ , _Yellow_ , and _Red_. I got that. Natasha? Safe words?”

“I agree with TJ. I’ll stick with _Green_ , _Yellow_ , and _Red_ ,” she answered.

“The basics work for me,” Bucky confirmed without prompting, smiling as he slid his hand down TJ’s thigh, loving the feel of his brother under his hands even if they weren’t playing at the moment.

“Well, if we all go with the simple three colors, that means we’ll all be clear no matter how we play. But, some of what we bought is red in color, like the rope. What do we do then?” Steve asked.

“Well, usually you have to ask a sub to check in . . . then they give you their color. I’m pretty sure we’ll know the difference if someone is safewording out or not,” TJ said.

“Or they call out their safe word in a hurry,” Bucky said, “like if they can’t take any more. No one’s going to be mixing up _‘Hey, pet, get the red rope because you need to be tied up’_ with _‘Red, Sir!’_ are we?”

Flushing lightly at how silly he felt having not figured that one out on his own, Steve nodded. “Fine, so, we use the basic colors for safe words. So, we should tell each other what we don’t go for, so we know. For instance, no choking, knife play, or face injuries for TJ. I miss anything, pet?”

“Or derogatory names,” TJ added softly, looking down at his lap, recalling the harsh words Brock had just used for him.

“So, slut, whore, bitch . . .” Bucky said, tone serious. “Bastard? Stuff like that?”

Flinching softly at each word, TJ nodded, “yeah, stuff like that.”

Bucky leaned in and kissed right behind TJ’s ear just as Steve did. Lifting his face, Bucky clearly confirmed, “no derogatory names. We have a respectful, loving group dynamic, right? Our dom respects us, and we respect each other.” He kissed again. Bucky felt a bit odd admitting he was letting Steve be his dom, but he wanted to see this through; he was turned on by being bound and the idea of some of those other toys had his cock twitching, too.

Steve stroked TJ’s shoulder and said, “and that was the last time those words are to be used in our group unless you’re talking about the real asshole: Brock.”

TJ nodded and gave Steve a grateful smile.

Steve smiled back, “I prefer the words that really describe my subs: pet, baby, sweetheart . . . those okay?”

Both TJ and Natasha nodded their agreement to the words.

Bucky laughed softly, “yeah, I can stand the sappy pet names, Cap. Sounds good. So, what do we call each other? I mean, if Steve’s dom, do we have certain word we’re supposed to refer to the other subs by? And what’s our group? A harem?”

“A family,” TJ supplied softly.

Steve had flushed at the word harem, as if he was some sex slave master. He nodded at TJ’s clarification. “Family, Buck. And you guys call each other by whatever you agree on, same as with me. Can I request that no one calls me _‘Master’_ or _‘Daddy’_? I’m not into slave kink or that daddy fetish thing.”

Laughing hard, Bucky nodded, “yeah, I can really see me calling your ass _‘Daddy’_ since I’m older than you!”

“Can I ask something?” TJ looked over at Steve and then Bucky.

Steve smiled. “Anything, pet.”

“Why, Cap?” TJ questioned, “I thought you didn’t make it to a Captain in the military? Was it something to do in high school or something?”

Flushing, Steve ducked his head but Bucky snickered, “yeah, he was Captain of the Math League and Class President in high school. So, everyone called him Captain America.”

“Why? Captain America is oddly specific,” TJ pointed out.

Bucky laughed, shaking his head, “my God! You don’t know? Steve, you’re a real punk keeping that from your boyfriend!”

“I’m confused,” TJ kept looking between Bucky and Steve.

“Fourth of July,” Steve muttered, bright red.

“Okay,” TJ drawled, looking even more confused, “I like fireworks, too, but . . .”

“Actually, Steve can’t do fireworks,” Bucky stopped smiling as much, though his tone was light and calm. “He flinches.”

“Can someone please tell me what the importance of fourth of July is? Other than a national holiday,” TJ looked back at Steve.

“I told you,” Steve sighed, running a hand over the back of his neck. “I was called Captain because I was Captain of the Math League, and America because of my birthday.” He tangled his fingers in embarrassment.

“Your birthday?” TJ shook his head. Bucky snickered, unable to clarify.

Finally Natasha huffed and said, “Steve’s birthday is on fourth of July. Honestly, Steve, it’s nothing to be embarrassed over and definitely nothing to be teased over,” she shot a glare at her snickering husband.

“I’m not teasing him because he’s _Captain America_ ,” Bucky laughed, “but because he’s so damn shy about how much he _likes_ being called that!”

Steve flushed even darker.

“So, you like to be called Captain because you were the captain of the Math League in high school and were born on fourth of July,” TJ nodded, satisfied he’d gotten the entire answer from Nat.

“No,” Bucky grinned wider, “those things are what alerted us that he liked it. Steve’s got a military kink. I told you that. He’s always wanted to be a Captain in the army. Just those bastards treated him like shit so he never hit that dream.” Bucky’s smile dropped away on a sigh.

Steve lifted his face and shrugged. “Well, he’s not wrong,” he said; a light amusement laced his words tough he still looked embarrassed. Apparently the mention of his Army stint didn’t bother him overwhelmingly at the moment. He felt safe and secure with his newly created family. That didn’t guarantee he wouldn’t have panic attacks, but for the moment, he was happy and comfortable - - despite the teasing.

TJ hummed softly and smiled at Steve, nuzzling against his twin’s shoulder.

Bucky stroked TJ’s hair with a smile and turned to kiss him on the lips, briefly. “Damn, I wish the rest of the stuff would get here.”

“Anxious to play?” Natasha teased softly.

“Well, Steve’s surprise shopping trip’s got me all hot now,” Bucky groaned softly, winking at his wife. “I guess we can go about our normal routine while we wait? Today is laundry day, and those machines will be hogged quick if we don’t get them within the next couple of hours?”

“Can’t we just stay in here?” TJ pouted, not really wanting to leave the apartment, even if it was just to go downstairs to do laundry.

“And wear nothing?” Bucky looked tempted but finally shook his head. “I need to strip the bed, actually. Dirty sheets aren’t fun to sleep on, brother mine.” He reluctantly rose to his feet.

TJ sighed and curled up on the couch, wrapping his arms around his legs. He didn’t want to admit that he was _scared_ to leave the apartment.

Steve, sensing TJ’s trouble, smiled and slapped Natasha’s ass lightly to make her stand. “We’ll meet you in about an hour to do laundry? Give me some time to get comfortable. Was a pretty intense afternoon, guys.” He stretched so his arm went around TJ’s shoulders.

Natasha nodded and stood, she took Bucky’s hand and began to lead him towards the door. “Come on, dear, let’s get laundry started.”

“No,” Bucky groaned, “but we can collect it and then tend to whatever destruction Sascha’s done. She’s started raising hell since Luna left.” He took his wife’s hand and threw a grin at the other couple. “An hour, no later!”

TJ didn’t return Bucky’s smile, just rested his chin on his knees as he watched his brother and Natasha leave the apartment, the door shutting and locking behind them. 

“Once our stuff arrives, you can switch to you house collar, pet.” Steve sounded content, arm wrapped around his boyfriend as they merely sat on the couch together.

“Yes, sir,” TJ said quietly, staring ahead of him, pale eyes worried.

Turning to nuzzle softly at TJ’s neck, where the two collars met, Steve smiled as he said, “We did good, I’m thinking. And . . .” he couldn’t help his excitement, “I was able to tell someone that you’re my boyfriend.” He tried to help TJ relax a bit, get TJ’s mind of Rumlow’s appearance by shifting the subject to his own inadequacies.

“I’m very proud of you, Captain,” TJ murmured, his thoughts occupied by the fear creeping through his body; Brock obviously had no problem going back to the school . . . what if he found out where they lived? Would Rumlow attack TJ in his own home?

“I know it wasn’t much of a risk,” Steve flushed. “They’re supposed to be discrete in that kind of store, but . . . it’s a start, right?” He hugged TJ to him in one arm again, taking TJ’s chin in his other, strong hand and turning his lover’s face to meet his eyes.

“It’s perfect, sir, you’re my brave Captain,” TJ said, eyes locking with Steve’s. He’d always been good at saying what he thought people wanted to hear . . . though his words lacked his usual happy, excited tone.

Tilting his head, Steve studied TJ, noting a catch in the other man’s breathing. Suddenly, his eyes widened. “Want me to take your mind off _him_ and get it back where it belongs, pet?” Steve stood and pulled TJ to his feet. He began to guide his boyfriend towards their bedroom.

Going willingly, TJ let Steve pull him towards the bedroom.

“You want me to erase him? Fill you up, TJ?” Steve murmured as he led his boyfriend through the door, kicking it shut to keep out their pets.

“Just wanna forget . . . wanna be safe,” TJ said softly, looking at Steve.

“This apartment is safe, TJ. The building has a doorman and security door locks to get past. You _are_ safe here, baby. I’m here. Bucky and Natasha are right downstairs. Do you want me to hire someone to install an alarm system? I’m sure I can get the landlord to agree.” Steve stroked TJ’s cheek with one finger, smiling softly, encouragingly.

“N - - no, it’s fine,” TJ answered, pushing into Steve’s touch.

“Check in then,” Steve challenged.

Meeting Steve’s eyes, TJ said, “green, sir.”

“Really? You’re worried about safety and it’s green?” Steve lifted a brow. “Check in again.”

TJ frowned and looked at his boyfriend, unsure what to say. His eyes fell and he seemed to curl into himself. “Y - - yellow?” TJ breathed out, barely audible.

“There’s my good boy,” Steve praised, kissing TJ’s forehead. “So, let me ask you something I want the total truth on, TJ, okay?” He lifted TJ’s face and met his eyes again. “Did you know Bucky was in that bathroom at _Imago_?”

Fear flickered through TJ’s expressive eyes; was Steve upset about what had happened at _Imago_? “N - - no . . . I - - I didn’t see him go in . . .”

“No? No what?” he prompted in a soft, yet demanding, manner. It was time to begin giving TJ that structure he needed.

“No, sir?” TJ looked at Steve, eyes searching his boyfriend’s face.

“Tell me, when you _did_ notice your baby brother in that bathroom, what was he doing?” Steve might not be able to distract TJ with normal things, but he knew thoughts of Bucky nude and masterbating would be enough to push TJ’s mind in a different, safer direction.

TJ flushed and his eyes fell again, “a - - after I shut the door. H- - he was touching himself, sir.”

“And did my naughty boy offer to help him touch himself?” Steve purred softly.

“N - - not exactly,” TJ murmured, squirming slightly as he remembered his brother’s commanding groan.

“So, what happened? I want to know every dirty detail. Can’t punish you if I don’t know what you did wrong, can I, pet?” Steve stroked one finger down to TJ’s neck and caught at the dual collars lightly.

Shivering, TJ looked back up at Steve and said, “I - - I saw him touching himself . . . and h - - he told me to _‘come here’_. I . . . I kissed him and started touching him, sir.”

“The words, pet. Need to use the words. I want the details . . .” Steve pointedly dropped his eyes towards TJ’s crotch then lifted them again to meet his boyfriend’s grey-blue gaze.

Flushing brighter, TJ licked his lips and said, “I . . . I started touching Bucky’s cock, sir. We were kissing . . . then he sat down on the toilet so I could ride him, sir.”

“Must have been awfully full, pet, to have my vibrator and his cock in your ass at the same time,” Steve prompted, hand moving down to caress over TJ’s clothed hip.

“B - - Bucky took out the vibrator before he filled me, sir,” TJ amended, his member already beginning to fill, pressing against the fabric of his sweats at the thought of Bucky filling him.

“Oh, you wanted a fat, hot, leaking cock instead of Captain’s vibrator? What a naughty boy you are!” Steve leaned in to purr in TJ’s ear. “Gonna have to show you that what Captain puts in your, you keep in until Captain says.”

TJ mewled, softly, seeming to forget about his worries over the safety of the apartment.

“How open are you, pet? And where’s the rest of the strawberry lube I got you?” Steve grinned as he began undressing TJ with quick sure fingers, leaving the two chokers in place.

“I’m ready for you, Captain . . . and - - ah,” TJ gasped, “lube is in my jacket pocket.”

Nodding, Steve searched for the lube in TJ’s pocket. Pulling it out, Steve grinned. He began pulling off his own clothes, the vibrant blue lace very evident against his pale thighs, his member straining and almost purple, leaking at the tip peeking out from the top of his panties.

“So pretty, sir, so beautiful . . .” TJ moaned, enjoying the decadent sight of his large boyfriend in sexy underwear, any thoughts of Rumlow completely wiped from his mind.

Flushing, Steve ducked his head and ran a hand down the lace. He then carefully shimmied out of them. “Gotta take care of my naughty boy,” Steve promised, flicking open the lube and coating his member generously. “Make sure he knows the rules. Check in, pet,” Steve murmured.

“Green, God, yes, green,” TJ groaned, a needy whine breaking past his lips; he didn’t move until Steve told him where to go.

“Good, cause I’m purple.” He grinned and turned TJ around, bending him over the desk. Caressing down TJ’s ass, Steve lined up rather quickly and began the long, slow, unhurried shove inside.

Moaning loudly, his own full member trapped against the desk, TJ pushed back as much as he could against Steve. His boyfriend was thicker and longer than Bucky; the stretching of his walls burned slightly, but it was a good burn.

“Good boy,” Steve praised. “If you weren't so neglected you’d have to stay still, but right now, I need to feel you squeezing me with your fine ass, pet. Need you to remember who Captain is.” Steve bottomed out and moved his hands to grip TJ’s hips. Taking a deep breath, he began to drag himself from his lover’s tight heat.

“Fuck me, sir . . . please . . .” TJ begged, grinding against the desk, trying to get friction against his weeping erection.

Shoving hard back into TJ’s passage, Steve moaned low. He dragged out and slammed in, over and over, hitting TJ’s prostate every fifth stroke. Finally, he reached around and grasped TJ’s needy erection, letting their rhythm move his fist over the shaft still trapped by the desk.

Gasping, panting, TJ let the rhythm thrust him into Steve’s hand. As much as he loved being coddled, he also liked Steve fucking into him, bending him over the nearest surface.

As he continued his brutal pace, Steve moaned out, “who owns you, pet? Who put that pretty heart collar around your pretty neck?”

“You, sir, you own me. I’m your’s, all your’s. You know what’s best for me,” TJ moaned, his body jutting with each and every brutal thrust, the desk actually moving once or twice.

“And who’s my special good boy?” Steve bottomed out again and again, his rhythm growing erratic.

“I . . . I am . . . I’m your - - ah - - I’m your good . . . boy,” TJ keened loudly, fingers gripping the edge of the desk so tight his knuckles were white.

“Damn right, TJ,” Steve growled. “My beautiful good boy!” He deliberately canted his hips to strike TJ’s prostate on every deep, hard thrust, dragging him closer to the edge as quickly, as brutally, as may be. “Gonna cum for me my _dirty_ good boy?” he moaned.

TJ panted roughly, his cheeks flushed as he nodded, “I wanna cum for you . . .”

“Not until I cum first, pet. Gotta take care of _me_ first . . .” he demanded unexpectedly. Steve was a very generous lover, so such an out-of-character demand indicated he was stepping their relationship up a notch, taking the dominant role seriously.

Moaning loudly, TJ’s fingers flexed on the hard wooden edge, “yes - - ah, ah . . . sir. Wanna take care of you first . . .”

“Squeeze me, pet, pull my cum from me . . . want your ass sucking me off . . .” Steve continued thrusting, adding a slight stirring motion to his strokes.

Keening, TJ deliberately squeezed around Steve’s large width.

It was enough and Steve growled low, exploding hot and heavy inside his lover’s passage. “Cum for me!” he ordered roughly while in the midst of his own orgasm.

With a shout, TJ obeyed, painting his abdomen and Steve’s hand with thick, white ropes of cum.

Bucking his hips as he continued to fill TJ with load after hot load, Steve stroked lightly at the cum-coated member in his hand, ignoring the desk as it got dirtier with every blast of TJ’s seed. “Good boy, my love, my TJ,” Steve praised, leaning over to nuzzle his neck. Slowly, his own hips began to ease off, eventually stilling, his member lying nearly flaccid but still trapped inside TJ’s tight ass. “Damn fine, pet. Best lover ever . . . best boy.” He kissed TJ’s neck.

Panting, TJ mewled with the praise, his fingers slowly releasing the edges of the desk. He could feel some cum running down his inner thighs.

As he kissed lightly, slowly, Steve’s breathing didn’t get any steadier, coming in wheezing pants. He shook his head and grunted, “inhaler . . .”

The word instantly had TJ frantically opening the drawers, wondering, hoping that Steve kept an inhaler in the desk. He couldn’t do anything else with Steve’s weight still on top of him.

Steve pulled back, twisted around, and collapsed to sit on the bed, lifting a trembling hand to point out the inhaler still lying on the nightstand where he’d set it before. He coughed and wheezed.

TJ grabbed the inhaler and shook it vigorously a couple times like he’d seen Steve do before handing it over to his wheezing boyfriend with large, worried eyes.

Nodding, Steve uncapped the end of the tube and put it to his lips, pressing the inhaler and drawing in a deep, sucking breath. He immediately repeated the action before letting his head hang down, body trembling, both hands dangling in his lap. His breathing, though, seemed to come under control in slow stages.

Steve lifted his head and offered a smile to TJ. “Thanks,” he said in a low rasp, almsot sexy from the medicine working over his vocal cords and into his lungs. Shaking his head, Steve explained, “doc said I need to use it _before sex_ or exercise. Wasn’t thinking straight.”

TJ knelt down in front of Steve and nuzzled the blond’s leg, his pale eyes looking up at Steve.

“You okay, pet?” Steve ran a shaking hand through TJ’s damp, tangled curls. “Didn’t mean to scare you. You did real good.”

Smiling, TJ pressed into Steve’s hand; he made no moves to get up though, enjoying the feeling of kneeling by Steve. He felt safe . . . felt loved kneeling in front of Steve.

“You _are_ beautiful, TJ,” Steve said with a smile, looking down on his boyfriend. “Thanks for your quick obedience when I really needed it. You really are my good boy, aren’t you?” He stroked the curls, letting his fingers scrape lightly across TJ’s scalp.

Keening as Steve’s nails scraped against his scalp, TJ nodded, “I’m your good boy, sir. Wanna make my Captain happy.”

“Well, not only did you make your Captain happy, pet, you saved him from going to the hospital. I’m gonna hook up my nebulizer as an added precaution, okay?” Steve rose to trembling legs and began hooking up the medical tubing and the larger tubular structure to the oxygen tank in the corner. He measured out some medicine, turned on the tank, and sank back on the bed, breathing in the vapor of the medicine. Steve offered a smile to TJ, his blue eyes tired but happy, too.

TJ hadn’t gotten off the floor, and as soon as Steve sat back down, he began to nuzzle again, dropping kisses on Steve’s muscular thighs. He looked up at his lover, smiling back at Steve.

Steve smiled back, keeping his breathing steady, deep, as he let the medicine take effect in a much better way than the emergency drugs could. Finally, after long minutes, Steve pulled the tubing from his mouth, the vapor gone. He reached over and turned off his tank and checked the settings, notating them down in the attached log book. He then got up and began to clean his other gear, throwing TJ another smile. “Get to see me at my weakest, love.” He didn’t seem embarrassed; TJ had seen his last asthma attack as well.

“Still my brave Captain,” TJ said adoringly; he didn’t get up, watching Steve’s every move.

Putting away his supplies carefully, Steve finally sank back onto the bed and reached to stroke TJ’s hair once more. “Hope it wasn’t too scary? I know you were scared at first.”

Nuzzling once more, TJ nodded, “yeah, it was scary at first . . . but you’re better now, that’s all that matters, sir.”

Shaking his head, Steve corrected gently, “not really. What matters is that you learn how to help me in case my attack is a serious one. That was mild, TJ.”

Looking up from where he knelt on the floor, TJ’s pale eyes flickered with worry.

“And I won’t insult you by suggesting this is a deal breaker between us. You’re too good and loyal to let my asthma come between us. Not when you’re so patiently helping me come out.” Steve stroked TJ’s curls again. “Would you like to learn about my meds so you can help me?”

“Yes, sir, I want to be able to help you,” TJ nodded.

Nodding, Steve smiled. “I’ll show you everything you need to know. It’ll be less scary if you understand them. And, in case I forget again, try to remind me to use my inhaler _before_ I take advantage of your damn beautiful body. Heavy exercise throws me into an attack.”

TJ nodded, dropping another kiss to Steve’s inner thigh, never once taking his eyes off his lover.

Leaning over at last, Steve captured TJ’s lips with his own, his athleticism amazing as he contorted his body. Slowly, Steve straightened up, forcing TJ to accompany him or break the kiss. Steve finally pulled TJ onto his lap and said, “another moment, pet, and I’ll clean us up.”

“Hmmm . . . I like being covered in your mess, Captain,” TJ purred low, nipping at Steve’s ear lobe.

Groaning softly in approval, Steve nodded. “Yeah, I love you, my dirty boy.” Steve stroked TJ’s curls again. “You’re beautiful after I’ve wrecked you . . .”

Mewling, TJ continued his assault on Steve’s ear lobe and then the sensitive skin below, sucking and nipping gently. He began to grind against Steve's lap, smearing the cum that was leaking out of his ass on Steve's skin. His lips sucked on Steve's neck; had he been thinking clearly, he would've stopped before sucking a deep purple bruise on the blond's skin, high enough that there would be no way for a shirt to cover the obvious mark.

Keening in response to the bruising pleasure in his neck and the damn distracting grinding on his crotch, Steve extended his neck to give TJ total access. He never even considered the consequences for what he allowed TJ to do to him; being driven insane with actual lust threw all wariness or even common sense right out the window. “Yes . . . pet, love you . . .” he crooned in encouragement, “so sexy . . . so hot . . . all mine.”

**************

A knock at the front door brought a nearly shocked groan from Steve as he blinked lust blown eyes, trying to comprehend the noise. It came again. He slowly looked to the man in his lap as the knock sounded a third time. “Door . . .” he said then shook himself. “Sorry, pet, gotta answer the door.” He called out, voice shaking and rasping, “just a minute!”

Easing TJ from his lap and onto the bed, Steve stood up and grabbed for his bathrobe. He smiled at the sight of TJ stretched out, wearing only that beautiful chokers and their combined bodily fluids. With a groan, reaching down to adjust his suddenly reinterested member under his robe, Steve headed out to answer the door.

TJ whimpered as Steve left the bed, his own member already very interested in his boyfriend.

After a moment Steve came back carrying several bags from _Imago_. He set them on the desk and rooted through the larger one before pulling out a box. “Okay, pet, gotta get clean and put away that heart necklace, even though you’re completely delicious in that well kept boy-toy look.” Steve displayed the box in which TJ’s in-house collar nestled.

Grinning widely, TJ stretched and then crawled over to where Steve stood, nuzzling against Steve erect member. Looking up at his lover from where he knelt, TJ could see the deep purple bruising that stood out against Steve's neck.

Smiling, Steve reached down and stroked the back of his hand over TJ’s cheek and neck. “Bath time, love,” he instructed softly. “No clothes after. Wanna see you beautiful and free for me.” He placed the collar box enticingly on the dresser in a place of prominence. “But you gotta be clean before you put on your new collar. Wash away the old life to be my good boy.” Steve unlocked the heart collar but left it, loose, on TJ’s neck. He let the key on it’s chain drop back to his chest.

Keening, pale eyes completely blown, TJ nodded, “yes, Captain. I'm your good boy . . .” he nuzzled Steve's crotch again. “All your’s . . .”

Steve was too used to his own lung problems to push things too far by actually picking up and carrying TJ so soon after an attack, but he did forcibly pull TJ to his feet with a strong hand. Checking to make sure his grip didn’t bruise TJ too badly, Steve guided his lover out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. He dropped his robe and started the water, then ordered TJ “get in the tub and wash for me . . . I want you clean inside and out, pet.” Steve gestured towards the removable shower head for emphasis, still covered in their love fluids himself.

TJ made sure to remove Bucky’s collar, setting it on the counter by the sink then placed Steve’s collar next to it. He nodded as he stepped under the spray of water; he loved the way Steve was acting, the strength and control he was displaying. Eventually, TJ would want to push the boundaries of Steve’s control, see what the blond would do after TJ disobeyed his orders, but right then, the brunet really did want to be Steve’s _good boy_.

Sitting on the toilet cover, Steve watched TJ washing up, licking his lips slightly as if he imagined cleaning TJ _that_ way. “God, so pretty, TJ. Want you so clean you _look_ untouched . . . but I know better. I know inside you’ve had _me_.” Steve grinned a bit and reached out to stroke TJ’s wet hip, caressing along the bone.

After thoroughly cleaning and washing his body with the vanilla scented soap TJ knew Steve liked, the brunet grinned at his boyfriend as he carefully began cleaning his still stretched passage. As the warm water rushed inside him, TJ let out a soft moan, his head falling back as his mouth remained slightly open. He teased Steve, making small erotic noises that he knew the blond enjoyed.

Steve slowly pulled himself into a strong hand and began stroking as he watching his boyfriend erotically stimulating himself with the warm water. Running his fingers over his large, bulbous head, spreading the drops of precum over his already sticky messy member, Steve breathed slow and deep, eyes locked on TJ’s erotic display. “So needy, pet . . . so good . . .”

TJ’s lips twitched into a grin, his eyes opening to look at his lover. After a few minutes of washing himself, TJ put the shower head back and turned off the water. “So needy for my Captain . . .”

“Leave it on,” Steve ordered as he rose to his feet, erection firmly in hand. “Need to clean me, too, pet.” Steve stepped into the tub and met TJ’s light eyes. “Wanna be clean and fresh for my good boy . . .”

Whimpering in need, TJ nodded and turned back on the water, looking up at his beautiful boyfriend as the shower drenched Steve’s fit form.

Licking his lips again, Steve let go his member and it proudly lifted, slamming into his abdomen and tracing precum over the hard flesh there. Steve made no move to clean himself up, waiting silently, watching intently.

Squirming, keening, TJ met his lover’s eyes, Steve’s intense bright blue eyes making his knees actually begin to tremble.

Finally, Steve broke the silence. “I have to repeat myself? That’s not a good way to start, pet. Get on your knees.” His voice had turned stern, low and strict.

Gasping softly, TJ fell to his knees, his lips poised over Steve’s large shaft.

“Now, think hard, pet. What did I tell you to do?” Steve never moved, keeping his hands off his boyfriend but watching to make sure he didn’t get hit in the face with the spray of warm water. Steve didn’t want TJ drowning.

Thinking, as Steve had ordered, TJ’s tongue darted out to lick his lips before answering, “you wanted me clean, sir . . . and you, too?”

Nodding, Steve didn’t praise him this time. Instead, he confirmed, solemnly, “yes. Clean. Me. Too.” Reaching up over TJ’s head, Steve pulled the shower head down and offered it to TJ. “Now, get up and get to work. You have to _earn_ your collar, pet.”

Eyes wide, TJ nodded and stood back up, taking the shower head from Steve. Carefully, the brunet began to rinse off his boyfriend, paying close attention to each and every part of Steve’s body.

Keeping this cleaning session basically platonic for the moment, Steve moved as TJ moved the water, lifting his hands or feet and turning or even bending if required, if TJ told him or asked him to. After all, the order was to clean him, so Steve wasn’t going to make it more difficult. There was time in their future to explore direct challenge and disobedience. Finally, Steve turned his back, braced his hands on the shower tiles, and looked over his shoulder at TJ. “Almost done, pet.” He waited, watching.

“You . . . you want me to clean you there, sir?” TJ asked, holding the shower head.

“Of course. I need to be clean everywhere, just like my good boy,” Steve cooed gently, offering a hint of a smile before looking serious again. He knew this would be TJ’s first chance to explore or manipulate his ass, and he wanted his boyfriend to know that just because they preferred their current arrangement, Steve’s ass wasn’t _off limits_ for play. And, too, Steve longed to be _clean_ for TJ.

Whimpering softly, TJ slowly began to clean Steve’s ass, his long, nimble fingers ghosting over the blond’s cheeks as he worked.

Softly, Steve said, “it’s okay to open me a little, pet. I want you to . . . please?” He wasn’t pushing for outright sex. Steve was aiming at trust and comfort instead. If TJ wanted to experiment later with things, this would help him realize that Steve was open to playing, even reversal, once in awhile. He’d bottomed before, so knew he could take whatever TJ would dish out, that the gang rape wouldn’t overshadow their loveplay. Peggy had helped him through that, at least.

Swallowing thickly, TJ nodded and carefully began to trace his finger around Steve’s rim, his other hand prying the blond’s ass cheeks apart.

Just as softly as before, apparently his normal tone of guidance, Steve said, “TJ, you _like_ being filled and touched in the rear, correct?” He wanted to relax his boyfriend, make him feel like this was just another thing they could do without being too weird.

“Yes, sir,” TJ responded quietly, barely being heard over the spray of the water.

“Good. I don’t respond as well, but I don’t mind it. Is that hard to understand? It takes me a hell of a lot longer to feel stimulation down there . . . but it’s _not_ bad.” Steve kept his eyes on TJ, still watching over his shoulder as TJ worked.

“Oh . . . okay,” TJ muttered, finger beginning to push past the tight ring of muscle, drawing the brunet’s eyes down.

“So, please don’t feel bad if I’m not begging on my knees when you do this? Not like if you touch my erection. That drives me wild.” He smiled. “But, TJ, look at me . . .”

Eyes snapping back up, TJ watched Steve close.

Still smiling, Steve winked, “I do love a good prostate massage . . .” Finally, Steve turned his head and leaned over slightly more, offering his ass more. “Right now . . . clean is good, okay? I’m too impatient wanting to get my hands on you’re beautiful body for too much massage.”

TJ blinked trying to judge whether that meant he _should_ massage Steve’s prostate or not. His finger slowly began pushing in deeper.

Humming a bit, Steve practically sing-songed, “has TJ lost his voice?” Steve’s muscles worked around TJ’s fingers and his hips bucked slightly, proving he did actually enjoy anal play, even if he seemed to be unaffected by it at the moment.

Flushing, TJ ducked his head and murmured, “trying to figure out what you want, sir.”

“You are permitted to ask for clarification without getting in trouble, pet. It’s when you don’t ask and you forget that I might have to correct you.” Steve glanced over his shoulder again. “What I want is you to open me enough to stroke my prostrate twice then we’re done our bath.”

Nodding, TJ liked having a direct order to follow, leaving things open for interpretation could mean that TJ might choose wrong. Pushing in just a little deeper, TJ curled his finger and after a few strokes finally brushed over the blond’s prostate.

A gasp escaped Steve as his butt clenched and his body shuddered, a rather dramatic reaction to such erotic stimulation. He took a breath and relaxed, nodding. “Once more, please?” His own time as a sub showed in that one request.

TJ did as asked and stroked his lover’s prostate once more.

Another clenching, trembling shudder wracked Steve. He slowly relaxed and controlled his breathing. Nodding, he softly called out, “that’s enough, pet . . . such a good boy. So obedient.”

Smiling, TJ wondered what would happen if he stroked one more time; he may be obedient but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t push Steve’s buttons every once in awhile. Slowly, deliberately, TJ curled his finger one more time over the blond’s prostate, pressing harder than the other two times.

“God damn!” Steve called as his forehead slammed into the tiled wall and his entire body clenched and shook, his orgasm slamming through him without warning. He sprayed hot semen all over the shower wall, his trembling arms barely holding him up. After a moment, Steve lifted his forehead from the shower wall, a bruise already forming on his fair skin. He turned an actual glare on TJ and growled, “frisky, huh? You’ll pay for that!”

Removing his finger from Steve’s ass, TJ’s smile didn’t fade; it actually grew wider at Steve’s glare.

Turning, Steve grabbed TJ and turned him around to face the wall. Steve barked, in a very militaristic fashion, “hands on the wall!”

A shudder ran down TJ’s spine as he obeyed, bracing his hands flat on the slippery tile of the shower.

Steve lifted his hand and growled out, “you wanna break the rules? You wanna push my limits? Well, you’re getting punished!” He firmly slapped TJ’s buttocks three times, hard but not enough to break skin. The marks would fade in a few hours, but the stinging blows would be felt for awhile at least. “Don’t make me do that again! Now, out of my bathtub!”

Knees weak from the spanking, TJ barely managed to stumble out of the tub, his member was leaking precum and he had developed a full body flush.

A sudden gentle, strong hand caught his arm and Steve softly, sounding ashamed, said, “damn, you okay, baby?” The larger man aided TJ in walking, looking so unsure, definitely proving he’d never played with spanking before.

“Mhmm . . . green, sir,” TJ groaned out; his ass still stung from the blows, but the stinging pain turned the brunet on even more.

Biting his full bottom lip for a moment, Steve finally nodded and carefully let TJ’s arm go. “Good . . .” he cleared his throat and took back control, “Good. Now get dried and go feed the fur babies. They’ve waited long enough on their parents’ pleasure.”

Quickly obeying, TJ roughly dried himself off, groaning as the soft towel brushed against his reddened ass. The brunet ran the towel over his hair, making it stick up wildly before exiting the bathroom, on more stable legs, to feed the pets.

Steve turned and took a deep breath. He cleaned up the shower and tub before finishing washing up and drying, heading for the bedroom. He gathered laundry as he walked, knowing he had to wash towels and the comforter at least. He moaned, though, at the memory of TJ’s reddened ass, his flushed body and shaking limbs. Damn, spanking TJ had actually turned Steve on even after that sudden orgasm. Maybe he shouldn’t have given away his secret, that his g-spot was so damn sensitive anal sex didn’t usually have to last long for him.

After a few minutes, TJ walked back into the bedroom; his eyes caught on the collar box and he wanted nothing more than to put it on. He loved the weight around his neck, the feeling of being completely owned by Steve.

Glancing over at TJ, Steve smiled gently. “Still good? Wasn’t too much?” He reached for a light green t-shirt, apparently either unaware of or ignoring the forming bruise in the center of his forehead from when he’d hit the shower wall.

“No, sir, I can take more than that,” TJ answered honestly, not taking his eyes off the collar. He didn’t even notice that Steve was getting dressed, despite the order for TJ not to. TJ looked at his boyfriend and his eyes widened, “oh, shit! I’m sorry, Steve!” His eyes caught on the forming bruise, wincing as guilt settled in him.

Blinking, looking confused suddenly, Steve tilted his head. ‘For what?”

“I hurt you . . .” TJ touched his forehead, where Steve’s bruise was.

Chuckling, Steve shook his head, “I can take it harder than that, pet. As long as I didn’t _hurt_ you. I . . . I just went with it, but I’m not sure how much spanking to give, TJ. You’ll have to help me learn what’s good for you.” Steve pulled the tight t-shirt on over his muscled torso. He reached for a pair of briefs to pull on. “Gotta do laundry, pet. And I think you need some more clothes. I just realized you only have what fits in one duffel.”

Eyes flickering over to Steve, TJ tilted his head at his clothed boyfriend, “I’m okay, sir. Maybe I don’t want _any_ clothes,” the brunet’s lips twitched into a devilish smirk, though he didn’t feel any less guilty for accidentally causing Steve to hurt himself.

Snickering, Steve slid the briefs on and reached for a pair of jeans. “Good luck keeping your students’ attention on the music instead of your beautiful body love,” he said. “Would you like that? Playing the piano in the nude?”

Humming softly, TJ shrugged, “don’t know, never tried it, sir. Although, that is the one thing I miss about my Mom’s place, she had a piano . . .” shrugging again, TJ walked closer to his boyfriend.

“Betcha that would have been interesting, getting caught playing her piano in the nude,” Steve rumbled in amusement, smoothing his tight t-shirt down over his abdomen.

“Sadly, nobody would probably bat an eye, they’ve all seen me do stupid shit, sir,” TJ answered.

The smile faded and Steve nodded. “Well, you’re welcome to do all the stupid shit you want with me and I’ll be happy to teach you what’s appropriate.” Steve reached over and stroked down TJ’s chest. “Damn, would love to march you outta here in nothing to show everyone just how beautiful my boy is. But not partial to sharing right now. Gotta get dressed now, pet.”

Whining softly, TJ looked at Steve, “do we gotta do laundry _right now_?” The brunet looked down at his member, which was still erect, and then back to Steve.

Shimmying into his jeans, Steve suddenly smirked. “Might teach you to follow direct orders next time you’re feeling frisky. Yeah, you gotta do laundry _now_. No touching yourself, either. I want you to pretend to be good in public.” He reached for the collar box . . . the in-house collar, not the outdoor jewelry.

TJ watched Steve intently, not taking his eyes off the collar box in Steve’s hand. He wanted it so bad, wanted to show everybody that he belonged to Steve. Hell, he’d crawl at Steve’s feet in public if the blond would let him.

Tucking the box away in the bureau, Steve turned, smiling at TJ. “Not getting any more dressed by just standing there, love. Why don’t you put on a t-shirt and your last pair of sweats?” He walked out of the bedroom, retrieving the two chokers from the sink before going to the living room.

Pouting, TJ looked at where Steve had put the at-home collar once more before quickly getting dressed in a black t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats that were a size too big. He had to tighten the drawstring all the way and even then, the sweats hung quite low on his narrow hips. TJ followed Steve out into the living area after getting dressed.

Steve played with Phil and Luna as he waited for his lover, the laundry already gathered in two large bundles, with the comforter as a third, slightly smaller one. Glancing up, Steve nodded with a smile. “Good. C’mere. Not quite dressed yet.” He stepped over to TJ and fastened the heart choker around his slender neck, locking it, then followed with Bucky’s choker, kissing his boyfriend, lingering. Finally, Steve stepped back and grabbed up two of the bundles. “Get the comforter and the keys and my wallet, pet? There’s my good boy.”

Smiling, the weight of the chokers grounding TJ, the brunet grabbed the needed items and looked to Steve. He still didn’t understand why laundry had to be done right then, when they had so many toys to play with.

Smiling, Steve nodded. “Okay, off to the basement we go, pet.” He followed as TJ led, nodding as Bucky and Natasha joined them for the pre-arranged meeting. Steve was proud of how far TJ had come even in only a week, and loved how he glowed wearing his collars. Steve wanted to show everyone that he took good care of the very delicate TJ. “Hey, guys. Laundry . . .” he didn’t really have to explain.

Bucky frowned slightly as he looked over his brother critically. He then turned to Steve and blinked.”Uh, Steve? You’ve got a hell of a bruise on your head? Whatcha do? Grope my big brother and make him smack you for your freshness?” he teased.

TJ flushed and ducked his head, feeling the guilt over the injury spike once more. He hadn’t meant to hurt his boyfriend.

A chuckle escaped the large blond and he shook his head, “seriously, I’ve had worse. Bucky could tell you of at least a half dozen fights a week while we were growing up? I was always in some kind of trouble back then.”

Frowning, TJ looked between Bucky and Steve, “you fought a lot, sir?”

Not correcting his boyfriend in the near-private setting of the public hall of their apartment building, Steve nodded. “Yeah, any time someone tried to do one over on someone else. I hate bullies. Always have. I just always needed to jump in and get involved. Bucky always jumped in and rescued my scrawny ass, too.”

“Oh,” TJ nodded, wondering, not for the first time, what it would’ve been like to grow up with Bucky and Steve . . . would he have _rescued_ Steve, too? TJ wondered how different his life would have been had George won the custody battle with Elaine after Winifred died. Would he be so messed up?

“He was the scrawniest, most ornery punk this side of Jersey,” Bucky chuckled. “I swear, if his mother hadn’t been a nurse, he would have a hospital record longer than the bible and Webster’s collection all in one!”

Smiling softly, TJ nodded, it wasn’t the first time that he felt slightly like an outsider in the group . . . Bucky and Steve had grown up together, and Natasha had been part of their little family for _years_.

“I already do, Buck,” Steve teased. “I may not have gone in for fight injuries, but I was sick more than I was healthy back then.” turning to smile at Natasha, Steve said, “and you worried about me last winter when I got the flu, you should have known me as a kid. I was always in hospitals. Hell, one year the doctors had a death watch on me, I was so damn sick.”

“Well, brother mine, it’s going to be up to you to keep this big lug healthy, you know.” Bucky grinned and nodded. “But I’m sure you’re up to the challenge of taking care of your boyfriend like he deserves.”

TJ smiled and nodded at his twin, “I can do it.”

“I know you can, TJ,” Bucky said.

TJ suddenly rushed over and hugged his twin, who could smell the faint scent of the vanilla soap. “Thank you, Buck. I mean it.” He was happy that Bucky trusted him so much.

Bucky hugged right back, grinning. “I want you happy, and if having a dom is making you happy, well, you deserve it!” Bucky grinned wider. “So, when I get you birthday and holiday gifts, do I have to ask Steve first or can I pick it out for you?”

Steve laughed. “Normal things, Bucky. Just act normal. You can get involved in BDSM gifts if you want, but we can all get other-people kind of gifts, too. Just trust your gut..” He took TJ’s hand, glanced around a bit out of habit, even if he’d already taken TJ’s hand before checking, then raised his boyfriend’s fingers to his lips and kissed them. “Unless TJ wants you to go through me, but that’s not typical for most couples or, in our case, families.”

Smiling, TJ shook his head, “I don’t want that . . . that’s a little . . . much?”

“Too controlling,” Steve confirmed.

Bucky shook his head and he turned to TJ then turned a severe look on Steve, “you don’t hurt my brother.”

Steve kissed TJ’s fingers again and nodded, his eyes meeting TJ’s as he vowed, “I will do nothing to _hurt_ TJ. Whatever I do, it will be what he wants.”

As they walked into the laundry room, Steve seemed to relax when the only other person in there was a figure in the shadows using the washer and drier in the darkest, furthest corner, as if wanting to avoid light. Softly, he called out “hey, Wade. Sorry to invade like this.” Rather than introducing TJ, though, Steve immediately turned to begin loading a washer with their comforter and a second one with clothing.

TJ tilted his head and looked at the the man in the shadows; he remembered his brother and Natasha saying something about a Wade that lived in the attic apartment, a burn victim.

Keeping his face and most of his attention off the other man, Steve called, “this is my new roommate, TJ.” He hesitated, but found that he couldn’t bring the word _boyfriend_ forward, even with the recluse, so sighed and hung his head slightly. “Wade lives upstairs from us, TJ,” he said on a softer voice, a bit of shame lacing his words, though Wade wouldn’t know the cause.

TJ knew the reasons why Steve couldn’t introduce him as his boyfriend, but being referred to as just Steve’s _roommate_ stung more than TJ thought it would.

Wade looked over and only a portion of his face was visible in the shadows; his eyes took in the two chokers on TJ’s neck and he nodded. “Great to meet you, TJ.”

Steve measured out enough soap and started the two machines. He then stepped back a bit to give Natasha and Bucky a chance at some machines. They’d be forced to come back down to switch loads out and begin the drying process, but free was better than at laundromat prices and lack of privacy.

Natasha stepped forward and began putting some of their laundry into the machines.

Bucky glanced over and gave a nod to the shadowy man he’d never met, only heard about from Natasha and Steve. “Yo. I’m Bucky, from down on two, TJ’s twin.”

Steve whispered, “don’t stare at him, Bucky,” low enough that Wade only caught a murmur of noise and the name.

Bucky didn’t look away, unable to see the guy anyway. “At least the landlord got the hot water fixed early this season, huh?” he added.

Wade snorted, but didn’t step over to the others, “you’re tellin’ me.”

“Say, do you know if that kid delivers more than food, Wade? Petey? I understand he does deliveries, but wasn’t sure if he picked up dry cleaning and did other odd jobs.”

“He’ll pick up pretty much anything,” Wade answered with a nod.

Suddenly, Bucky snorted unable to keep the memory of the earlier shopping trip from his mind. “If he’s _allowed_ in the store to pick up, I guess,” he snickered.

Steve elbowed Bucky. “Dirty old man,” he grumbled, but began to relax.

“He’s over eighteen, able to go into any store,” Wade answered simply, with a shrug.

“ _Over_?” Steve glanced over to Wade in surprise. “He looks maybe sixteen.”

“Nope. Just has a baby face. Kid’s almost twenty,” Wade reported.

Groaning suddenly, Steve nodded. “I know how that feels.”

It was Bucky’s snicker, drawing another elbowing from Steve, that finally caused the big blond to relax. “Yeah, well, maybe he’ll hit a late growth spurt like you, punk, but here’s hoping he doesn’t get as ugly.”

Steve chuckled. “Yeah, poor guy. Those big dark eyes and those curls can save a lot, but not an ugly mug change. Hope he stays looking like himself.” He offered TJ a smile suddenly. “I should really introduce you around to the neighbors. Except for that family on two who hate Natasha, they’re pretty nice here.”

TJ shrugged, leaning against the wall; he’d been watching Bucky, Steve, and Wade interact silently. “Whatever you want, Steve.”

Nodding, Steve leaned closer to TJ but stopped short of kissing him, flushing. “Not tonight. Got things to do tonight.”

Looking at Steve, TJ flushed and his eyes fell, holding back the needy whimper that wanted to break past his lips. He had a lot of practice hiding a relationship, so it was easy to keep himself in check for Steve.

Running a hand down Natasha’s back as she finished with the machine, it would be his job to unload and dry and fold after, Bucky called out, “Hey, Wade, you catch the basketball game on TV last night?”

“Nope. Don’t watch basketball,” Wade answered.

“Damn,” Bucky sighed. “Was interrupted by some asshole senator from Ohio giving speeches about equality. I was hoping to get the score. Steve doesn’t watch televised sports, so he’s useless.”

TJ flinched, barely noticeable, but flinched nonetheless. He blew out a breath and grumbled, “you have a phone, Buck. You can look it up.”

Something about his brother’s tone drew Bucky attention and he frowned softly. “Left it upstairs,” he muttered, smile fading.

Steve nodded. “Well, we’ll come back in an hour to switch over. Meanwhile, dinner sounds great. C’mon, TJ. Bucky.” He touched TJ’s back and offered Natasha a smile, a serious warning in his eyes. He could figure out exactly who had interrupted Bucky’s game and upset TJ just then.

Nodding, Natasha took Bucky’s hand and tugged him, following Steve and TJ back up to Steve’s apartment.

Once they got in the apartment, Steve frowned severely. He kept his back to the door but called out, sharply, “TJ. Come here.” Steve headed into the bedroom.

Sighing, TJ followed Steve into the bedroom. He knew he was unfair to Bucky, it’s wasn’t _Bucky’s_ fault . . . but any mention of Sean always put TJ on edge . . . and the encounter with Brock earlier . . . TJ felt tense.

Meeting TJ in the doorway of the bedroom, Steve silently reached over and unlocked his heart collar, sliding it from his neck. He turned away again, towards the bureau. “Don’t think this is appropriate,” he muttered.

Eyes falling, TJ didn’t move from his spot in the doorway; he hugged himself. “‘M sorry I snapped, sir.”

“Did I ask for an apology, TJ?” Steve asked, lifting out something from the drawer and opened it then turned and strode quickly over. He settled the at home collar in place, above Bucky’s twin collar. “ _That’s_ the one you wear in the house, pet.”

TJ nodded his understanding, not trusting himself to speak, worried that he might say something wrong.

“And from now on, you may change them over yourself, as long as you have access to the key. If you need the key, let me know.” Steve leaned over and captured TJ’s lips in a fierce kiss. “I love _you_ , TJ Hammond.”

“I love you, too,” TJ said softly, pale eyes lifting to look at Steve.

Steve smiled down at his boyfriend and lover. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell Wade about us, baby. I was going to but the words froze in my gut and I panicked.”

“It’s okay,” TJ shrugged, “I understand.”

Cupping TJ’s face, Steve said, “wanna grab me a kitten for cuddles, or do I get to cuddle my real pet?”

“Why wouldn’t you be able to cuddle with me?” TJ asked; he looked at Steve. “We’re in the apartment . . . no one can see.”

Steve winced. “I’m sorry,” he dropped his hands and moved to the kitchen. He hated himself for being unable to love TJ in public, for being just like the rest of his asshole boyfriends. Steve opened the fridge and pulled out some bottled water. “Think I’ll go lay down for a bit,” he muttered and headed back to the bedroom, ignoring the stripped bed as he lay down, eyes closed, one arm over them, and seemed to breath very slowly, in a controlled manner.

TJ stood, watching Steve on the bed. He felt like shit . . . he’d snapped at Bucky and then made Steve feel bad for something TJ had knowingly agreed to handle.

Bucky stepped over and touched TJ’s arm. “Didn’t know you hated basketball so much, brother mine. Sorry I fucked the mood.”

“No, wasn’t you. Was me . . .” TJ answered and stepped away from Bucky’s touch, feeling like he didn’t deserve the comfort that came with it, not after he’d been such an ass.

Softly, Bucky said, “look, why don’t you and Steve get some rest. We’ll take care of your laundry and get it back to you, okay? He keeps spare sheets and stuff in the bathroom linen closet.” Bucky reached out to try to touch his twin again, worried he’d set into motion some weird chain reaction that spiraled quickly out of his control.

“Okay, thanks. ‘M sorry, didn’t mean to fuck things up,” TJ said and stepped out of the bedroom to walk towards the bathroom to get the sheets.

“You?” Bucky turned a helpless look to Natasha. “What’d I do?” he worried. “Things were good, I swear, until I mentioned the game.”

Natasha sighed, “I think you and I are missing something. I don’t think it was the game . . .”

Steve, lying on the bed, still breathing in that same slow, controlled manner, didn’t say anything. He barely moved, though a small sound caught at his throat before his breathing evened again.

Frowning harder, Bucky stepped towards the bedroom. “Is he trying to control a panic attack?” he growled low, worried. He’d rarely seen Steve like this, but it never boded well. “Natasha, where’s his inhaler? I think he’s panicking.” Bucky hurried into the room.

“I think he had it in his pocket,” Natasha answered, following Bucky into the bedroom.

“Steve, breath, buddy, c’mon.” Bucky slid onto the bed, causing Steve to twist, his arm falling away to reveal his face was red with effort, eyes squeezed shut and tears washing over. The blond was trying hard not to cry, and that was making his efforts to control his breathing difficult. Bucky shook his head, “where’s your inhaler, Cap?”

Shaking his head, Steve didn’t answer, keeping his eyes shut and biting his lip. His hands fisted and he tried to steady his breathing again, letting out a faint whimper.

“Damn!” Bucky reached into Steve’s pockets and pulled out the inhaler, phone, and wallet. He tossed the phone and wallet aside and shook the inhaler hard several times. Uncapping it, he put the plastic tube to Steve’s lips. “C’mon, Stevie, help me out here.”

Shaking his head, Steve knocked the medicine inhaler and Bucky’s hand away, curling up and whimpering again, his breath hitching audibly. Bucky lost the inhaler and swore. “TJ! Does Steve keep a spare inhaler?”

The sound of a drawer opening and closing came to the others in the bedroom before TJ hurried in. Stopping, TJ looked at Steve, “he’s not struggling to breathe . . .”

Frowning up at his twin from where he sat by Steve, Bucky asked, “you sure? He’s breathing slow but making noises . . .”

“He’s trying not to cry,” TJ said softly.

Sighing, Bucky put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Hey, you’ll be fine, Steve. Wade seems like an okay guy . . .” he wasn’t quite sure what to do, since he wasn’t exactly sure what had upset Steve so much. Things had seemed to go pretty well. “Probably noticed nothing, right?” he ventured.

That made Steve curl tighter and shake his head, breath stuttering as he fought the tears.

TJ shook his head, “it’s okay, Steve. You’re okay.” He moved to the edge of the bed but didn’t sink down next to his boyfriend.

Steve didn’t seem to react, and Bucky looked to Natasha, helpless.

For once, Natasha had no clue what to do. She had no idea what the hell had happened to cause Steve to act like this. She looked just as helpless as Bucky.

“Okay, Nat and I can’t help either of you if we don’t know what’s really going on, TJ. This started with my basketball comment. So, what’s going on?” He frowned at his brother, eyes distressed.

“It . . . it wasn’t the basketball comment - - it was the senator . . .” TJ mumbled, hugging himself, not looking at anyone in the room.

“So, the Hammonds got a secret hate going for the Democratic Senator Reynolds?” Bucky said, bewildered.

TJ looked at Bucky, and just held his brother’s eyes for a moment before laughing. He shook his head; he didn’t stop laughing, though the sounds were bitter.

“So . . . is that a yes?” Bucky ventured, looking confused as well as distressed. “You hate Senator Reynolds, so Steve’s crying?”

“I’m so _stupid_ ,” TJ said, still laughing. “I am so fucking _stupid_.”

Steve made whimpering noises and shook his head, eyes finally opening. Tears leaked down his face and his breath hitched even more, till his body shook. “No . . . not . . . ‘s me . . . sor . . . sor . . . ry . . .”

TJ’s laughing stopped and he looked at Steve, “ _you_? Were you the one who snapped at Bucky over a fucking misunderstanding?”

“You snapped at me?” Bucky shook his head, “big deal. Happens all the time among friends and family. Why’s that . . .”

“‘M pa . . . the . . . tic,” Steve buried his face in his arm, his voice muffled as he continued, “can’t . . . can’t . . . even . . . tell . . .m’ . . . b’friend . . . ’m . . . ass . . .”

Sighing, TJ shook his head, “you’re not pathetic, Steve. I’m sorry if - - if I made you feel like that. I didn’t mean to.”

Steve shook his head, “Not . . . you . . .” he tried to get his thoughts across through his gasping, stuttering speech and breaths. “‘M . . . not . . . him . . . swear . . . _want_ . . . out . . .”

“Out?” TJ furrowed his brows, “out of what? The relationship?”

“C - - clos . . . et,” Steve whimpered. “Don’ . . . wanna . . . hurt . . .” By then his breathing _had_ become labored.

“No one is rushing you, Steve. Don’t worry about it . . .” TJ said, trying to get Steve to calm down. He felt like everyone’s life had been turned upside down because of him. He ruined their lives.

“But . . .” Steve gasped, as if afraid TJ would leave him despite the words, “ _love_ . . . you . . . ba . . . by . . .”

“I think his breathing’s worse,” Bucky frowned, diving to the floor to try to find the inhaler again.

Sighing, TJ shook the inhaler in his hand a few times before pulling off the cap and bending down so he could help Steve get the medicine.

As TJ bent over him, Steve suddenly threw his arms around his boyfriend and held him, shaking and crying. “Don’ . . . leave . . . please? I’ll . . . try . . . hard . . . hard . . . er . . .”

“I’m not leaving, Steve. And you don’t need to try harder, you’re doing good,” TJ reassured.

Steve just continued to hold his lover, face burrowing against TJ’s belly, body shaking hard.

TJ ran his fingers down Steve’s back, trying to soothe his trembling boyfriend.

Sitting up with the found inhaler, Bucky sighed. “Should we leave you guys alone to work this out?” he asked softly.

Looking over at Bucky, TJ shrugged. He didn’t know what there was to work out . . . Steve wasn’t going to come out, and TJ wasn’t going to force that on his boyfriend. He continued to rub Steve’s back in a calming manner.

“Counseling,” Bucky said on a sigh. “Steve, you really need to get counseling for what happened to you.”

“We’re working on it, Buck,” TJ reported, “he just agreed to it yesterday.”

“And _you_?” Bucky challenged. “You haven’t had a trauma free life, either, brother mine.”

“I _know_ ,” TJ snapped, “trust me, I fucking know that, okay? We’re working on lining up some counselors . . . but it’s the weekend, most offices are closed.”

“Right,” Bucky didn’t take offense at TJ’s reaction. At least his brother was acting defensively instead of acting like a whipped puppy now. “So, Monday you want me to talk to someone for you?”

“You want to find _our_ counselor?” TJ quirked a brow at his twin.

Sighing, running his right hand through his hair, Bucky said, “I want to _help_ , big brother, but I don’t know how. I hate seeing you both so hurt. You go good for a bit then some random remark throws you both into this,” he gestured to Steve still curled into TJ crying, his breathing beginning to settle again, no attack triggered this time.

“I know,” TJ sighed, “look . . . I’ll personally call some of the counseling offices I’ve been looking into on Monday.”

Bucky nodded and stood, walking out to the bathroom. He came back very shortly and put a small prescription bottle in TJ’s hand. “Make up sex does wonders. We’ll leave you to it, okay?” He hugged TJ quickly then walked back out of the room, grabbing Natasha’s hand on the way.

TJ wasn’t about to make Steve take anything . . . he shook his head and put the bottle on the nightstand.

At the sound of the apartment door closing, Steve slowly sat up, though he kept his hands loosely on TJ’s slender hips. He looked at his boyfriend and hiccoughed. “I’m . . . sorry . . . baby . . .”

“Don’t apologize,” TJ said firmly, much like how Steve would talk to him when he was upset, “you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t apologize for doing nothing.”

Nodding, Steve ran his arm over his eyes then pulled the hem of his tight shirt up to try to wipe his face, exposing his muscular belly. “I ruined . . . giving . . . you your . . . collar . . .”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Steve,” TJ reassured.

“I love you,” Steve whispered.

Smiling softly, TJ nodded, “I know.”

Lifting one finger to touch the black leather collar with the embossed red hearts, Steve said, “sure does look . . . good on you . . . my collar.”

“You picked a good one, sir,” TJ nodded.

“You like it?” Steve smiled. “Got to see it yet?” Steve stood, his breath still hitching a bit, and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand. “‘S not the same . . . tried in store . . .” Steve tugged TJ to the bathroom mirror to show him the collar wasn’t the plain black TJ had been drawn to at _Imago_.

TJ smiled, the collar looked similar aside from small red hearts decorating the leather. “It’s perfect, sir.”

Steve slid his arms around Tj and cuddled him close, burying his face in TJ’s hair and breathing. “I love you,” he whispered with a kiss.

“I love you, too, Steve,” TJ said.


	8. Back to Basics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanking; Exhibitionism; Minor panic attack, PTSD reactions; public blowjobs

The next day, Steve insisted they go to the mall and buy some more clothes for TJ, who kept telling his lover that he had plenty of clothes. However, the brunet felt a thrill of excitement knowing that Steve would be picking out a majority of the clothes. Ever since starting, it had become normal for the blond to pick out TJ’s outfits, not making the brunet worry over choosing the _right_ clothes. It had been agreed that Bucky and Natasha would spend the day together while Steve and TJ did the same. It was important that the individual couples still got private, quality time together.

Steve grinned over at TJ, heading into the bathroom to shave and get ready to go out. He loved showing off TJ and providing for him. It gave Steve a reason to dip into his pension, actually . . . the medical discharge funds he got for his war injuries and the severance pay for _not making a fuss_. Frowning slightly, Steve shook his head, pushing down once again the trauma and memories, hating to go back to that time. It was the main reason he never even talked about his Army stint: Steve didn’t like dredging up the trauma and horror from that living hell. Even the thoughts sometimes triggered him bad, like the night before, and Steve hated how that had made them both feel, hated how _dirty_ it made him feel.

Glancing towards the mirror, hands poised with shaving cream, Steve froze, eyes instantly locking on the large dark bruising high on his throat, above his collar lines. “TJ?” he asked, voice hesitant, even a bit frightened. He didn’t even seem to notice the equally dark bruise on his forehead.

Coming into the bathroom, tugging the grey t-shirt Steve had picked out over his head, TJ answered, “yes, sir?” He immediately noted the frightened tone and looked to his lover with worried eyes, “what’s wrong, Captain?”

“My . . . my neck . . .” Steve swallowed, wondering how in the hell he’d hide such an obvious hickey. People would _know_ and he’d be attacked all over again.

Tilting his head, TJ watched Steve closely, “yes, sir, I gave you a hickey . . .” the brunet looked suddenly nervous, afraid he’d done something wrong. Suddenly, TJ understood, “oh! You’re worried about someone seeing it . . .”

“God, yes!” Steve’s voice came out faint, a tremor in his tones. “How the hell do I cover this up?” He fought the rising panic.

TJ went back into the bedroom and then came back a few moments later carrying something small and compact in his hand.

Steve turned fearful blue eyes on TJ, fighting his memories, his fears. He couldn’t let someone see that.

“Extend your neck, sir?” TJ gave his boyfriend a comforting smile, opening the small disc of concealer.

Obediently, Steve exposed his neck to TJ, gripping his hands on the porcelain sink tightly.

Carefully, TJ dabbed the bruise with the make-up, blending it in with the surrounding skin so the mark faded away. It wasn’t completely gone, but someone would only be able to see it if they were pretty close and looking for it, “there you go, Captain, all ready for duty.” TJ snapped the disc closed.

“Thank God,” Steve said, looking into the mirror and slumping in relief. He slowly pried his hands away from the sink and straightened. “I, uh,” he cleared his throat, “I think I’ll go without shaving today.”

TJ’s smiled softly, even if he understood the reasons, the fear, Steve had for not coming out; it was still hard to tamp down his own fears. He had to remind himself that Steve was nothing like Sean, that Steve _wanted_ to come out but was trying to deal with genuine trauma. TJ was terrified that one day Steve wouldn’t want to deal with a secret relationship anymore and go the easy route, find himself a woman. The blond had said so himself: Steve had sex with _both_ men and women, finding a woman wouldn’t be hard for him . . . and he wouldn’t have to deal with hiding who he was in a relationship with. TJ didn’t know if he’d be able to face such rejection again and hoped that he’d never have to. “No more marks on you,” TJ nodded.

Nodding, Steve turned from the mirror, his smile gaining strength once more as his body relaxed. “Of course, you’ll have to show me how to do that because I wanna wash the stuff off when in the apartment. It . . . it’s kinda sexy . . .” He reached out to touch TJ’s cheek with a gentle finger.

Laughing, trying to forget about his own concerns, TJ nodded, “sure thing, sir. I learned a lot about makeup while living in DC, actually.”

“I guess at fifteen you weren’t permitted acne, huh?” Steve chuckled. He felt his control back again, the memories buried once more. He was thankful that TJ was able to soothe his fears. They seemed so perfectly matched: TJ could ease him into accepting himself and the world’s changing views, and he could give TJ the love and control and _touch_ he craved, Steve knew TJ could easily find someone who was proud of his sexuality, someone accepting and free; he hoped to God never to lose TJ to such a man . . . hoped TJ would stay, despite how hard it was to deal with Steve’s private terrors, his closeted nature.

“Nope, I remember Mom freaking out because I had a huge ass pimple right on the middle of my forehead the day I came out,” TJ laughed, setting the concealer on the counter by the sink. He didn’t mention that Sean had asked TJ to wear makeup sometimes to look more feminine.

“The day _she_ came out,” Steve corrected and tugged TJ over to him. “But it’s okay, pet. I think you’re perfect.” He kissed TJ’s neck then the center of his forehead.

Humming contently, TJ melted into Steve’s hug, his cheek nuzzling against the blond’s firm chest.

“TJ? I’m curious about something.” Steve stroked his hand up his boyfriend’s back and toyed with the back of his at home collar.

“What about, sir?” TJ asked, pulling away so he could look up at Steve, smiling and touching the smooth leather around his neck.

“When you came to New York, you had only a duffel of stuff. That means your family kept your clothes and other stuff, too. They didn’t want you leaving DC, did they?” Steve suspected it had been a way to get TJ to stay, by not allowing him anything he hadn’t paid for himself.

TJ’s jaw ticked and he shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, “no . . . they didn’t.”

“Hmmm,” Steve nodded. “Well, I see this as good for _me_. This means I get to spoil you with new clothes.” He grinned at TJ and hugged him close, pressing their bodies flush, despite their clothes, merely holding him for a long moment like that. “My TJ . . .” he purred low.

“All your’s,” TJ responded, nuzzling against Steve, enjoying the close contact.

Steve finally pulled back and kissed the tip of TJ’s nose. “If you see something you like, let me know, pet. And that means if you see something you want for yourself . . . _or_ for me, okay?” Steve took TJ’s hand and led him to the door. Stopping, he made a big show of removing TJ’s in-house collar and putting it in the box prominently displayed on the hall table. Steve opened the box for the choker and took the jewelry out to fasten around TJ’s neck, locking the clasp; he never kept the thing hidden away. “You look ready, pet. Feel ready?”

“I’m ready, sir,” TJ beamed, brushing his fingers against the chokers; he was still getting used to the different weights of the choker and the collar. He wondered what the custom one Steve ordered would feel like.

Leading his boyfriend out, Steve scooped up the mail, including a box, and pushed them into the apartment. He straightened, closing and locking the door behind them. He took TJ out to a choice store not too expensive, but nice enough not to be considered on an equal with big box stores. Walking in, Steve looked around at the jeans, t-shirts, and other modern styles displayed. “What do you think?” Steve asked, stopping short of publicly using the pet names he preferred for his lover.

Blinking, TJ looked around and took in all the different choices. In DC, he’d always prided himself on looking good, but after everything that happened, he’d slightly lost the motivation to care greatly about the clothes he wore. He wanted to look good for Steve . . . there were just so many different items.

Sensing TJ’s trouble, Steve chuckled low and leaned in. “I mean, in general, is this your kinda store, TJ?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ was so distracted by the choices that the pet name had just slipped out.

“Good,” Steve didn’t correct him. Instead, he put a firm hand on the small of TJ’s back and guided him towards the dressing rooms. “So, you find a room you like and I’ll bring you some stuff to try on.” Steve gave a reassuring smile then turned towards the jeans.

Quickly finding a dressing room towards the end of the hall, TJ took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Ready?” Steve called, hoping TJ would indicate which room he chose. There weren’t many people in the store yet but there were enough that Steve had to be careful not to just walk in on a stranger.

TJ opened the door to his room and poked his head out.

Grinning at seeing TJ, Steve walked down to him carrying four different pairs of jeans. “Here you go. Enough room for two in there?” Steve asked curiously, looking in the room.

Smiling widely, TJ nodded and stepped back, allowing Steve to step into the room with him.

Steve walked in and secured the door behind him. “Now, no drawing attention to us, right, pet?” he asked softly, a wicked twinkle in his eyes. Steve felt playful, restless, and a bit daring, knowing TJ wouldn’t risk them being found; he knew how Steve was far from ready for that.

“No, sir, wouldn’t want that,” TJ whispered in return, shimmying out of the jeans he wore, providing a small show for his boyfriend.

Nodding, Steve offered a pair of black skinny jeans to his boyfriend, sinking into a chair placed there for people to use if needed. “Okay, try those, pet,” he said softly. “Take off your shirt so I can concentrate on the fit of the jeans.”

Smirking, TJ did as asked and slowly, sensually took off his t-shirt, letting it drop on top of the jeans he owned. In just a pair of boxer-briefs, the brunet never took his eyes off Steve as he pulled on the very tight pants.

Watching, Steve nodded. Once TJ had them on and fastened, Steve reached over and tugged him closer. Using his hands in firm strokes, Steve brushed over TJ’s hips, ass, thighs, and even cupped him while judging the fit. Nodding, Steve said, “step back a bit, love.”

TJ’s response to Steve’s touch was immediate; his cheeks flushed and he let out a very small keen as the blond cupped him. Stepping back, TJ swallowed thickly and licked his lips.

Steve reached over to unzip and unbutton the jeans and tug them down, frowning a bit as he slid them back up. “Comfortable, pet?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ breathed out, his member already beginning to twitch and fill with excitement.

Nodding, Steve stared at TJ’s member directly. “Gonna have to control that or we can’t continue these fittings, pet. And we’ve got three more pairs to check.” He offered the next pair, a traditional dark blue cowboy cut.

Huffing, TJ grabbed the new pair and slid out of the skinny jeans. He pulled on the jeans and fastened them.

Steve repeated the same type of fitting, checking everything, cupping TJ briefly, then quickly unfastening them to slip them down and pull them back up. “How about those?”

The repeated touch made TJ whimper, biting his lip to muffle the noise. TJ breathed out, “sir . . .” his erection was evident by then; Steve’s touch was intoxicating.

“Yeah?” Steve offered a third pair of jeans, light grey hip-huggers. “These next, pet.”

TJ narrowed his eyes at Steve and snatched the newest pair, quickly changing into them, though it was a little harder due to his straining erection.

As if he didn’t notice TJ’s erection, Steve once again caressed his hands over certain key areas then cupped his lover for a moment. He unfastened and worked the jeans off TJ’s hips then back on and nodded. “What do you think?”

“I think I want you to fuck me, sir,” TJ said softly on a grumble.

Laughing low, Steve nodded, “and I thought you didn’t like clothes shopping, pet.” Steve grinned up at TJ, eyes sparkling in mischief. “Got another pair to try?” He held up a set of dark maroon jeans with a set of double zippers in the front, one on either side of the crotch, almost like an easy access point.

Groaning, TJ took the last pair of jeans and tried them on, his cheeks fully flushed and eyes slightly blown.

Nodding, Steve checked him over and, when it came time to cup TJ’s hardness, Steve instead unzipped both sides and pulled TJ from the jeans, leaning forward to engulf him in wet heat. Murmuring around TJ’s spongy head, Steve smiled and looked up through his thick lashes.

“Fuck . . .” TJ’s hands immediately went to Steve’s hair and he had to bite his lip to keep back the loud moan that was working it’s way up his throat. He couldn’t stop himself from thrusting slightly into the moist heat; he was already so close.

Opening his throat easily, obviously having no gag reflex, Steve continued to watch TJ as he tugged his boyfriend closer by the ass. He quickly set a fast, hard pace, not sucking or humming, just using the tight muscles of his throat to massage TJ’s shaft, trying to milk him to completion.

It only took a few minutes before TJ’s fingers tightened, “close, sir . . .”

Blinking up at his lover, Steve stroked TJ’s hips to indicate he should cum.

With a soft gasp, TJ thrust once more and then released his load down his lover’s throat.

Steve pulled off slowly and began carefully cleaning TJ completely, paying careful attention to his head and even dipping the tip of his tongue in TJ’s slit to make certain to get every last drop of hot seed. Finally, Steve pulled off and tucked TJ back into his underwear. “Ready to move onto shirts?” he asked as if nothing had happened.

TJ blinked, trying to clear the fog in his mind from his orgasm. His hands dropped from Steve's hair and he nodded slowly, “y - - yes, sir.”

Nodding, Steve stood and gestured towards TJ’s own jeans. “Need those on so we can check the fit when tucked in.” He gathered the other store jeans and left. “Definitely like a couple of those styles . . .” he murmured.

Mind still reeling from the very unexpected blow job, TJ carefully slipped out of the red jeans and put on his own. Looking in the mirror, TJ could see his face and chest were flushed and his eyes were blown from release. He couldn’t believe Steve, the man who had him cover up a hickey just that morning, had given TJ a blow job in a public fitting room! TJ figured that, as long as Steve _felt_ comfortable, he wasn’t afraid to be himself.

“Ready?” Steve’s voice came from the other side of the venetian door.

Quickly opening the door to allow Steve entry, TJ ruffled his fingers through his brunet locks, making them stick up messily.

Offering a quick smile, Steve shut the door behind him and sank back onto the chair. He drew the maroon jeans onto his lap before offering a dark blue button down shirt shot with iridescent purple threads. “First one,” he said.

Blinking slowly, TJ grabbed the shirt and carefully put it on, the slinky, soft material catching the light in a shower of sparkling violet. TJ held his arms out slightly for his boyfriend as he looked down at himself.

Nodding, Steve stood, letting the jeans fall to the chair, and began running his hands over TJ’s shoulders, chest, back, and abdomen, as if he needed to _feel_ the fit. Finally, he undid TJ’s jeans, tucked the shirt in with a caress over the top of his pelvis and ass, then refastened the jeans. He tugged the material slightly out of the waistband then stepped back. He studied TJ carefully. “What do you think, pet?’ he asked without thinking.

“I like it, sir,” TJ said, though his eyes only looked at Steve. His body was still sensitive from his latest orgasm and Steve’s caresses were driving him wild, already arousing him once more.

Nodding, Steve gestured to the shirt. “Take it off. Got another for you to try.”

Swallowing, TJ took off the shirt and folded it neatly on top of the maroon jeans on the chair.

Steve offered him a black t-shirt, form fitting but not as tight as his own apparent style; he’d not yet replaced his own shrunken shirts.

TJ made quick work of pulling the soft material over his head and pulling it down so it hung right. After he was done he looked over at Steve again.

Steve repeated his manner of feeling then tucking in, stepping back once more to ask how TJ felt about the shirt. He did the same with the next three shirts as well, different styles and materials.

Finally, after five shirts, TJ was trembling; he mewled low and suddenly wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck, pushing against the blond until Steve’s back hit the wall of the fitting room. With a needy growl, the brunet crashed his lips on to Steve’s, teeth nipping and pulling at his lover’s plush, bottom lip.

Steve returned the kiss enthusiastically for a long moment before pulling back totally and stepping away, grabbing TJ’s arms to uncircle them from his shoulders. “Need more treatment so you can continue?” He asked, sounding patient and neutral almost.

Whimpering, TJ leaned forward to kiss Steve again.

Steve stepped out of range and shook his head. “No,” he said softly. “We are here for clothes you need. You did not ask permission to touch, so now you may not touch until we are done.” Steve turned and began gathering the jeans and shirts.

Eyes widening, TJ felt pleasure run down his spine, as well as some feistiness. Slowly, quietly, TJ walked up behind Steve and wrapped his arms around the blond’s narrow waist, “but I _need_ you, sir.”

Vibrant blue eyes widen, Steve looked at the arms around him then turned and stared incredulously at TJ. “You disobey me?” He shook his head, voice sounding stunned, eyes dancing. “You _dare_ challenge my authority? I _own_ you, TJ! You are to listen or be punished. Now, you’ll be punished. I’ve been far too lenient with you, I see.” Steve twisted away from TJ and gathered the clothing close in one arm. He grabbed TJ, whirled him around, and slapped his ass twice, once on each buttock. Steve then walked out. “The rest of your fittings will take place with an open door.” He disappeared among the displays.

Watching Steve leave again, TJ’s member already taking interest in the firm slaps to his ass and the possessive tone of his boyfriend, TJ didn’t quite comprehend the last thing Steve had told him, too excited from the punishment.

Steve walked back after ten minutes, carrying slacks and more shirts. He put the neat pile on the chair then told TJ, “turn towards the mirror.” his voice was low, vibrating in authority.

The tone sent a chill down TJ’s spine as he finally obeyed Steve, turning so that he faced the mirror.

Steve grabbed the first pair of slacks and held them up to TJ’s waist and hips and buttocks, not touching him with fingers or even material. He stretched the waistband out a bit then nodded, looking down the length of TJ’s legs. He did this with the other four pairs of slacks, not once touching him or allowing TJ to close the door and try on the clothing. He turned to do the same thing with the three shirts. Finally, Steve gathered the clothes and nodded. “I know what I’ll have you wear now. You may come with me while I choose colors.” Steve turned and left the fitting room, not once looking at TJ directly.

Huffing out a breath, TJ quickly followed after Steve, itching to reach out and touch his lover. However, they were in the public eye now, and no matter how feisty TJ felt, he wouldn’t risk outing Steve.

Walking down the lines of clothing racks and displays, Steve nodded and picked the occasional shirt or set of pants, checking the sizes as he added them to his choices. He brought two different of each style of slacks or jeans he liked and the same with the shirts, different colors. He put those on the counter then went back for the iridescent blue and purple shirt and a pair of black jeans with the double front zippers. He looked directly at TJ as he added them to the top, a third of each of that particular design. “You will wear that when we leave here,” he ordered softly, not even glancing at the sales clerk, who smirked and turned to ring up the pile of clothes.

TJ nodded, eyes meeting Steve’s, “yes . . .” he was about to address Steve by his usual pet name but stopped himself, letting the word drag out awkwardly.

“And if you disobey the rules of society again, I will _not_ buy you anything more.” Steve growled low, turning to hand over his credit card and sign the receipts. He took the black zipper jeans and the iridescent shirt and growled to the clerk. “Bag the rest. We’ll be right back.” He turned, grabbed TJ’s wrist, and tugged him to the dressing rooms.

TJ went willingly, his limbs feeling like jello from the excitement he felt.

Once inside the dressing room, Steve shut the door and put the chair in front of it. He then sat, unzipped his jeans, and pulled himself out. “You will tend me,” he ordered, eyes narrowed. “Show me how you appreciate my gift of nice clothes.” Steve may have seemed calm and collected, but he was straining, large and even purpling. It was exhilarating what this man did to him; rather than having to stimulate himself directly, just the sounds TJ made or the looks he gave acted like the best stimulant.

Moaning softly, TJ immediately sank to his knees in between Steve’s legs and sucked in the spongy head, his tongue swirling and darting into the slit. He looked up at Steve as he slowly began to swallow down more of the length.

Steve carded his fingers through TJ’s disarrayed curls, a whisper soft groan breaking through his flushed lips. “That’s it, TJ, show me you still want to be mine. That you want to be my good boy.”

With a small gag, TJ pushed further, actually managing to engulf the entirety of Steve’s large member, the first time he’d been able to do so.

At the reflexive noise and action, Steve gripped TJ’s hair and pulled him slightly back, a bit roughly. He looked down, frowning again. “Check in . . .”

TJ pulled off just enough to rasp out, “green,” before beginning to swallow him down again.

Nodding, Steve didn’t break the unexpected scene by praising him this time. Instead, he tugged TJ’s head back down a bit, indicating he should go back to the blow job.

Groaning around Steve’s shaft from the tug to his scalp, TJ took a breath through his nose and then swallowed Steve fully once more, letting the erection slip down his throat. He looked back up at Steve from under his lashes as he hummed, he hoped Steve would start fucking his mouth soon, finally let go; Steve had always been afraid to hurt TJ.

Steve ran his fingers back through TJ’s hair again, silent, frowning, eyes narrowed. The petting through TJ’s curls was the only sign of approval from the dominant blond.

TJ, with a wicked glint in his pale eyes, reached up and ran his fingers over Steve’s inner thighs; even clothed, he knew his lover was sensitive there.

Gasping, legs inadvertently squeezing shut around TJ’s head, Steve bucked slightly. Eyes opening wide, he thrust his thighs apart and stilled his hips. “Check in,” he growled low, panting a bit.

Pulling back with an obscene noise, TJ answered, “green,” this time he didn’t dive back in right away, hoping for Steve to take even more control, to _use_ TJ.

“Stand,” Steve growled, keeping his voice low. “And sit on my lap.” He kept his fingers in TJ’s curls, tugging a bit to emphasize his point.

Groaning at the pleasant sting, TJ rose to his feet, having to bend slightly from Steve’s fingers still in his hair.

Letting go TJ’s hair, Steve shook his head. “No . . . without your pants or drawers.” He stared intently at TJ’s eyes, trying to communicate that he wouldn’t hurt him without breaking the forceful orders he was giving.

Keening again, trusting his lover completely not to actually _hurt_ him, TJ hurriedly removed his jeans and boxer-briefs before straddling Steve’s lap, grinding the cleft of his ass against the blond’s needy, wet erection.

Steve gripped his shaft and reached below TJ to spread his cheeks. He lay his throbbing erection along the crack and crease, over TJ’s passage but not breaching him. He let the firm cheeks close as best they could around Steve’s member, like meat secure in a bun. “Now pleasure me!” he ordered on a growl.

TJ began to roll his hips, sliding Steve’s member between his ass cheeks; his hands dropped on his lover’s strong shoulders to help him keep a rhythm. The rubbing was slightly dry, only having TJ’s saliva to help ease the friction, but nothing like what had happened with Brock. TJ’s cheeks were heavily flushed and his breathing came out in needy, whimpering pants.

Steve’s member began leaking a steady amount of precum, hot and slick, beginning to coat TJ’s inner crease as it rubbed over Steve’s head. “That’s right, pet, fuck me,” Steve growled, gripping TJ’s hips to help him in the slide and grind, treating the butt play as if it were a full penetrative sex instead.

Sweat dripped from TJ’s hairline as he let his head fall back, “sir - - oh . . .” his voice was breathless, unable to be heard outside that small fitting room. By extending his neck back, the fluorescent lighting of the store caught on the gleaming, twisting metal of TJ’s choker and chasing over the leather of the twin collar. His hips continued to roll and grind, the precum spreading in between his cheeks making this exchange very pleasurable.

Steve leaned his head forwards and began tracing his tongue along the line of the collars, letting his teeth catch gently at the patterned metal and tug it a bit tight but only enough to feel it, not to cut off the air or leave a mark. He left Bucky’s collar alone, keeping strict attention around his own. Steve continued licking, nibbling, and barely tugging around the collar from one side of TJ’s neck to the other, his hands still moving TJ by the hips to continue the stimulating sexual play.

Feeling Steve tug on the collar caused TJ to gasp and let out a desperate whine.

At the sound of his lover’s whine, Steve let the collar go and whispered, “check in, pet.” His voice sounded more like a rough order than a loving soothing gesture.

“Green . . . don’t - - ah . . stop, sir . . .” TJ keened back, his eyes slipping shut as he continued to pleasure his lover.

Steve picked back up where he’d left off, moving his mouth, teeth, and lips over the collar and around TJ’s neck and throat. He tugged ever so slightly as he nipped and licked, thankful this wasn’t considered the choking that was off limits. He found TJ’s neck so damn sexy.

“Oh, sir - - want you . . . want you to mark me - - give me something to remember this by . . .” TJ breathed out, breath hitching in his throat.

“Not enough to be disciplined, pet? Gotta see a mark to remember to obey and _ask_?” Steve nodded, lifting his face. He let go TJ’s hips, leaving the rhythm up to his boyfriend, though Steve was having a hell of a time holding back his orgasm. He reached up, unlocked the heart collar, unfastening both of TJ’s collars, then leaned in and bit his neck where it met the shoulder. Not enough to draw blood or even break the skin, but his bite instantly bloomed in sharp pain, leaving a red bruising pattern of his teeth behind. Steve sat back and forcefully turned TJ’s face towards the mirror where he could see exactly what they did, Steve’s cockhead peeking out between TJ’s asscheeks during each sliding stroke. The mark on his neck was painfully visible. Steve then fastened the chokers back on and locked the heart collar; they rubbed along the middle of the mark but the bottom set of teeth imprints were very clear. There was no question that someone had bit TJ. Steve let go TJ’s head once more.

Watching the exchange in the mirror, TJ groaned softly as his eyes caught on the very visible mark.

Whispering close to TJ’s ear, Steve said, “check in . . . the bite?” It was the closest to breaking scene he’d come all day.

“Green . . . I’m your’s, sir . . . your’s to mark - - you own me, sir,” TJ moaned quietly, intentionally tightening his cheeks around Steve’s member, squeezing even tighter.

“Good,” Steve growled, back in dominant character once more. “Let that be your reminder. You _belong_ to me. You follow _my_ rules.”

“Yes, sir, I belong to you, sir,” TJ keened, high and needy.

“I’m gonna cum, pet. You better not let a single drop get on my clothes. Choose how you’ll take it,” Steve ordered, breath hitching as he felt a tightening heat in his sac.

TJ’s hips stuttered as Steve’s order sank in, how should he take it? His mind was so far gone into his submissive nature that the order to _choose_ left him reeling.

“Up the ass or in the throat, I don’t have all day, TJ,” Steve growled again, moving to push TJ from his lap, to help him get to his knees. He would’ve refused the anal penetration if TJ had asked for it, simply because there was no time to prep his lover, but Steve planned to use such a question in the future, when TJ was prepped, so wanted him to get used to it right off.

Once on his knees, TJ quickly swallowed down Steve’s member, tasting the bitter, salty precum as he swirled his tongue around the spongy head.

Steve’s hips thrust hard, once, twice, a third time and his hands tightened in TJ’s curls. Hot ropes of cum blasted from Steve’s member and down TJ’s throat.

Swallowing down all that he could, only a little dribbled down the corner of his lips, TJ moaned around Steve’s massive tool, loving the feeling of the blond’s hands pulling at his hair.

It took a long while before Steve’s balls finished emptying his load. He didn’t push TJ away or say a word, leaving the brunet on his knees in front of the massive blond. Steve’s eyes were closed and he concentrated on calming his breathing. Slowly, he let go TJ’s hair to fumble into his pocket and pull out his inhaler, giving himself a double hit on the medicine tube. Steve let his hand fall to his lap, clutching the inhaler, as a slow smile spread over his lips, eyes still closed.

TJ let Steve’s spent member lay in his mouth for a while, long after the blond had finished and TJ had cleaned the mess off his lover.

Slowly, opening bright blue sex-darkened eyes, Steve looked down on TJ. He wrapped his fingers lovingly in his boyfriend’s nutbrown curls then tugged his head back, baring his throat. “You gonna remember, pet?” he growled.

“Yes, sir,” TJ rasped, his voice hoarse from the blow job. The cum and saliva glistened on his chin.

“Good boy. Get up and make yourself presentable. Put on your new shirt and jeans, but leave off the underwear. We’ve got more shopping before I take you home.” Steve stood up and tucked himself away, letting himself from the fitting room without another word, inhaler still in hand. He came back, opening the door without even knocking, and handed TJ a bottle of water, still cold from the drink machine in the store, and a couple of soft cloths. “Tuck that in front before you zip up. Don’t want my pet getting caught in the zippers, even if I want you ready for me at all times,” he softly said, handing one cloth over. “I think we need more than three pair of those jeans . . . don’t you agree, sweetheart?”

Keening softly, TJ nodded, still on his knees in front of Steve, his face still messy with his lover's cum. “Yes, sir . . .” He blinked slowly, his icy blue eyes completely blown, only a small ring of pale blue could be seen. With a slightly trembling hand, TJ reached out and took the cold water bottle. He opened it and took a small drink. Shakily, TJ stood up and carefully began to dress himself in the new outfit. He used the cloth as Steve had instructed before zipping up the pants, his own member still slightly erect. After putting on the shirt, TJ looked over at his boyfriend, seeming unaware of the fluids still on his face.

Steve smiled, pride and desire in his eyes. He took the water, poured some on the second cloth in his hand, and handed the bottle back. Washing TJ’s face carefully, lovingly, Steve instructed, “you’re to finish that water before we reach the next store, my good boy. But don’t chug it.” He literally pocketed the messy cloth and adjusted TJ’s metal collar, letting it sting over the bite mark a bit before nodding. “Now, look in that mirror one last time before we go.” He turned TJ so he could see himself in the new outfit as well as the half of his bite mark under the shining collar and dark leather one, skin flushed, lips bruised, and eyes blown.

Smiling, meeting Steve's eyes through the mirror, TJ said, “yes, sir.” He looked at himself, eyes locking on the obvious bite mark, “thank you, sir,” TJ breathed softly, reaching up to brush his fingers over the bruising skin. A shiver of pleasure ran down his spine as the mark flared under his touch, “you take such good care of me, Captain.”

TJ never thought he’d be able to love more than one person like he loved Steve and Bucky . . . though the love he felt for Steve was different than the love he felt for Bucky. He needed both men equally in different ways.

“Now, you will obey me and do what you are told . . . or I take you straight home . . . no more shopping . . . no nice collar on your neck.” He smiled as he let the idea sink in that the metal collar would flare that mark more than the in home collar, and that no one would see it if they went home. Steve led the way from the room without waiting for an answer and retrieved the bags of clothes. “You need underclothes,” he said as he led TJ from the store, aware that at least two people overheard but pretending he spoke about the weather, or to his brother, for their sakes . . . his eyes forward, nervous once more.

TJ followed his boyfriend; his entire body seemed relaxed, content. He knew people could see the mark on his flesh and he loved it, loved the fact that he had just one more thing to prove to others he was _Steve's_. The brunet gently brushed his fingers over the blond's, not trying to disobey but to provide just a small comforting touch that wouldn't be read too much into by the average passerby.

Steve turned his hand to stroke TJ’s palm then dropped his hand back to his side. He led TJ to a shop selling underclothes and pajamas and such. Walking in, Steve bent closer to his lover and softly said, “There’s no fitting room here, pet. So no modeling for me this time.” He tried not to sound too disappointed.

“I’ll just have to model them for you at home, then,” TJ smiled as he spoke that same soft tone, his breath hot against Steve's ear.

“You better. We have a lot of new things to test, as well. I want you to pick out something special that makes you feel pretty, too, TJ,” Steve offered a smile. “The rest I will select.”

TJ bit his bottom lip and then nodded. He didn't add that the last time he'd gone shopping for clothes on his own he'd nearly taken two hours just to select a pair of pants to _try on_. After that either Doug or his Mom went with him or just picked stuff for him. Letting his eyes scan the store, TJ looked at all the choices: underwear for both men and women, of various cuts, styles, and materials, seemed to be the main theme. To one side were displays of lounging clothing or sleepwear; along another wall were robes and other forms of in house outfits one would use to relax in. The register sat on a long glass case making three bends and containing jewelry and hair accessories.

TJ walked over to the lounging clothes, looking through a rack of pants. He could tell everything was high quality by the soft fabric.

Steve gave a nod as his boyfriend began to browse and took advantage to start purchasing all kinds of surprises for TJ. He hoped TJ might take a bit of time making his special selection, giving Steve time to make his.

TJ hardly even noticed Steve's absence, taking his time to look through everything. After a while, the brunet brushed past a pair of black silk pants; they were the only ones of that specific style. He pulled them off the rack to look at them closer. He didn't know if Steve had meant specifically underwear for TJ’s choice . . . but he liked the pants; he could only imagine how the silk would feel against his skin.

Steve glanced over and cocked his head to see TJ looking at pants. Smiling, he walked quietly closer to watch. Eyes taking in the lines and style of the pants, Steve looked at TJ and imagined his lover wearing them, draped comfortably over the couch . . . Steve drawing them off slowly . . . revealing possessive marks as he went . . . he shook his head and buried his smile. “TJ, have you chosen?” he asked in a strong, neutral voice, neither ordering or condemning.

Head snapping up at Steve's voice, TJ nodded, “yes . . . are these okay? I know - - I know they aren't underwear or anything . . . but . . .”

“I didn’t say underclothes, pet. I said something that makes you feel pretty.” Steve shook his head and frowned, though his eyes sparkled. “I see I have to teach you to listen. Back to basics?”

Breath hitching in his throat, TJ nodded, “yes, sir . . . basics might be good . . .” He wanted to get home and be able to _touch_ Steve. TJ stepped closer, not so close that they were touching, but that the heat of his skin teased over Steve's, “I wanna be your good boy, sir.”

Nodding, Steve said, “enough shopping today then. Maybe when you know how to obey . . . and the basics of being out in among people. We’re going home now.” Technically, Steve had finished buying what he had been after, so there wasn’t anything undone. Now it was time to play . . . but he didn’t say that, letting TJ feel he was being punished for not knowing the _basics_.

Nodding, TJ put the pants back on the rack, his cheeks already beginning to flush with excitement.

Steve frowned severely. “Are you refusing my gift?”

“What?” TJ looked at Steve, “you - - you said we were going home now, sir.”

“Yes, but I can still pay for the pants. However, since you don’t want them, let’s go,” he deliberately took TJ’s arm and pulled him from the shop. “Walk in front of me home so I can make sure you don’t wander, pet.” Steve silently pulled out his phone and ordered the pants, as well as several more of the same design but different colors. He knew what to give TJ when he was especially well behaved.

TJ blinked, but followed the order, walking ahead of Steve. He kept glancing over his shoulder, making sure his lover was still behind him.

“Attention wandering even if you aren’t?” Steve asked, casually, glancing at his phone but, having finished what he’d been doing, merely pretending to be using it.

Huffing out a loud, annoyed sounding breath, TJ looked back ahead of him. He deliberately made the noise, not _actually_ annoyed with Steve. He wanted to see how far he could push the blond; they were on a _public_ sidewalk.

Steve glanced over his phone, frowning but silent. Steve would love to respond as he knew TJ must want him to, but he was already feeling on edge, raw, from all the chances he’d taken. Especially at the last store, where he’d actually discussed buying things for TJ without lowering his voice. Steve felt like he’d cry or scream at any moment, so he stayed contained and quiet.

Finally, at the apartment, TJ unlocked and opened the door. Stepping in ahead of his boyfriend, TJ looked at Steve, “need your key, sir.”

Steve got inside and immediately put down his purchases, right by the door. He handed over the key on it’s chain then stepped over to the bedroom and placed his hands on the desk, taking several deep breaths, letting the tears fall, trying to get himself back under full control. He knew TJ would need him, but Steve needed to come down from the emotional roller coaster of daring to do what he’d done in public where anyone could see and . . . hurt them. Drawing a deep breath, Steve slowly rolled his neck and shoulders.

TJ unlocked his choker and put on his at-home collar, setting the choker and key on the table by the door.

Phil pranced over to TJ, carrying Luna once again, making muffled yips of delight that his humans had returned.

Crouching down to pet both animals and carefully pull Luna from Phil's mouth, TJ kept glancing over to where Steve had gone, worried that he might've pushed his boyfriend too far.

Finally, Steve called out, “TJ, baby? Sweetheart?”

Scrambling to his feet, TJ hurried to the doorway of the bedroom, “sir?”

Turning around, Steve continued drawing slow breaths. His lungs felt fine, but his nerves were still high alert. “Can I get a cuddle, baby?” His voice came out soft.

TJ bounded over to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist, tucking his head under the blond’s chin.

“I know I need to reward you, baby, you did so good. But . . . I did that, didn’t I? In that store . . .”

“You did so good, Steve,” TJ said softly, “you took care of me. I’m sorry I pushed you . . .”

“Pushed?” Steve turned confused eyes to his lover. “When did _you_ push?” He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held on tight.

“I - - I was trying . . .” TJ licked his lips nervously, “I wanted . . . push your limits?”

Nodding, still cuddling, Steve sighed. “I was scared. Still scared?” He dropped a kiss on TJ’s head. “Thanks . . . you’re really trying to help me . . . work on . . .”

“I wanna help you, sir. Anyway I can. If it’s continuing to try and push your boundaries or backing off . . . I’ll do it,” TJ vowed seriously.

Steve kissed his lover again. “I’ll tell you when I wanna back off.” Steve felt grounded once more. TJ helped him feel that way, something he hadn’t really even have with Peggy, though he’d trusted her implicitly. He stroked TJ’s hair, tangling his fingers lightly in the soft brown curls.

Keening, TJ pushed into Steve’s hand.

Nodding, Steve said, “Now, I need to see that the things we got fit as well as those pants and shirts. Ready to show me? I see you put on your house collar, my good boy.” Steve stroked his lover’s curls then neck and back.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, “you want me to try on the things you picked out in here or out in the living room?”

“Well, I gotta grade papers and tests, and we gotta take care of our babies, don’t we?” Steve kissed TJ’s nose and backed off. He walked to the box sitting by the hall door postmarked from that morning’s mail. “So, need you to wear one of your plugs . . . which one you feel ready for? First?” Steve looked up with mischief, since he hadn’t told TJ some of the specialty orders had arrived from _Imago_. Abraham had managed to get a rush on things for them.

TJ’s eyes widened and he looked at his boyfriend, his cheeks flushed, and he could feel his member twitch with anticipation. “I can take the second one, sir.”

“You’re ready for two fingers right now?” Steve asked, reaching into the box to pull out the accompanying toy. He stood, carrying the plug in one hand and the box in the other, and walked over to TJ standing in the bedroom. “Okay, you need to strip down and put your clothes where they belong. Then come here so I can plug you up like a good little virgin. Then we’ll try on your new wardrobe.” He put the box on the desk and began unpackaging the plug, walking towards the bathroom so he could prewash it.

TJ quickly stripped out of his clothing and put them away. His body trembled with excitement as he followed Steve, completely nude and his erection bobbing proudly with each step.

Steve carefully dried the plug on a clean t-shirt, not wanting to get any fibres on the glass. He asked, loudly, as if he expected TJ to be in the bedroom still, “you allergic to anything, pet?”

“No, sir,” TJ answered from the bathroom doorway with a smirk.

Turning, Steve lifted an eyebrow. “What room did I tell you to wait in?”

“Technically, sir, you said _come here_ , here can be anywhere,” TJ answered, his smirk not fading.

“And where was I when I said it?” Steve dropped his voice to a growl.

“In the bedroom, sir,” TJ replied easily.

“So, you better not take one more step into my bathroom. Go back down that hall and into my bedroom as ordered. I’ll be along to punish you for your insolence. Basics. . .” Steve growled and shook his head, reaching for a bottle of slick lube that TJ hadn’t seen him purchase.

A jolt of excitement rushed through TJ’s body; this was about the basics, about learning even more about one another. Steve needed control and TJ needed less. However, he knew that for this relationship to work, TJ couldn’t be completely obedient; Steve needed instances where he could reinforce his dominance. Slowly, deliberately, TJ placed one foot inside the bathroom before backing out and hurrying into the bedroom.

Steve’s head shot up and he grinned after TJ’s retreating figure. He had been going to punish TJ with a bit of spanking and denial, while making him parade and model, but this . . . direct challenge; Steve got a more wicked idea for punishment. He took the lube, cloth, and plug with him back to the bedroom, setting his face in a severe frown. He ignored TJ deliberately and grabbed a very thin vibrator he’d purchased while TJ had been in the bathroom at _Imago_ . . . one of the surprises. It was slender enough to work after only a couple fingers stretch, meant to help with the stretching, actually. “Okay, you have broken all rules. Lesson one, you belong to whom?” He turned and stalked to TJ, looming purposefully, backing the smaller, more delicate man with his larger frame and dominance.

Gasping, looking up at Steve with wide eyes, TJ breathed out, “Steve Rogers.”

“Whom does Steve Rogers own?” Steve continued to back the brunet towards the living room.

“TJ Hammond,” he moaned softly, backing up without even looking where he was going.

“Does TJ own anyone?” Steve growled lower, forcing TJ towards the couch.

“N - - no, sir . . .” TJ muttered.

Stopping so that TJ wouldn’t sit, Steve growled, “Does TJ own himself?”

“No . . . sir?” TJ looked up at Steve.

“TJ does _not_ own himself because TJ cannot care for himself. When he tries, he steps in rooms he’s not allowed to, among other forbidden things. Is that right?” Steve met TJ’s eyes.

“No, sir,” TJ murmured, his pupils blown wide.

“That’s _not_ right? Reiteration, is that _correct_? That TJ breaks rules on his own?” Steve asked, clarifying his words.

“Yes, sir . . . I - - I break rules on my own,” TJ answered.

“Turn and bend over. Hold the arm of the couch. I will teach you to obey.” Steve waited, watching carefully, breath held just a bit in anticipation of what he planned for TJ.

Keening, TJ listened to the order and turned around, bending to grip at the arm of the couch.

Taking a deeper breath, Steve walked over and began slapping TJ’s ass with a flat, open palm, holding the palm to his buttocks after each hit to remove part of the spring-back pain that normally occurred. Steve wanted this to last a bit. He kept slapping, moving his fingers slightly each time, until TJ’s buttocks were both red from the punishment.

TJ’s arms trembled and he cried out at the last hit, but didn’t safeword out; tears ran down his cheeks and his member was painfully hard by then.

Softly, on a threatening growl, Steve said, “check in.”

“G - - green, sir,” TJ cried out, breath hitching as he ground against the couch, needing friction on his erection.

Since TJ had stuttered, Steve asked again, “you sure? Check in again?” He kept his voice in that low growl.

“Green, sir,” TJ breathed out, his tears subsiding but he continued to grind against the couch.

“Then stop rutting the couch like a wolf in heat and hold still. Gonna fill you up.” Steve opened the slick and poured some on his hands, gently, so gently, stroking it over the reddened flesh and puckered opening.

TJ moaned loudly, forcing his hips to still. “Yes . . . sir, fill me up . . .”

Steve coated the slim vibrator and very slowly opened TJ’s cheeks, careful of the injuries he’d inflicted for TJ’s pleasure. He eased the vibrator into TJ’s ass until he finally eased it to it’s base.” Nodding, holding the object still, Steve asked, just as dominating and strong, “check in.” He had not yet turned on the machine.

Groaning, fighting to keep himself from pushing back against whatever was breaching him, TJ gasped out, “green . . .”

“What?” Steve barked out, as if insulted.

“Sir! Green, sir!” TJ corrected quickly on another moan.

“You may be teachable yet, pet,” Steve nodded and cleaned his hands on the towel. He then grabbed a pair of TJ’s newest briefs, silk and smooth and enough to hold the toy in place. He held them out. “Put those on. Do _not_ let that come out of you.”

Panting, TJ clenched around the toy inside of him. Shakily he pulled the briefs over his long legs, the soft silk brushed over his reddened ass, and TJ let out another moan of pleasure. The briefs were snug and showed off his hips and legs nicely; they felt _so good_ on his skin.

Steve nodded and held up a small remote. “Hold this. The first button turns it on. The other turns it off. The only setting is low.” He handed over the small remote. “Now, I want you to put on this,” he handed over a top that looked like a too-small vest that had a latch chain in front, but his nipples would be exposed with no shirt under it. The briefs and the vest were both black, but the vest was leather and had a tooled design embossed in dark blue violet.

TJ took the vest and put it on before taking the remote, he looked at Steve with wide, lustful eyes.

“Now, give me your collar.” Steve said on a growl, watching TJ.

Looking suddenly horrified, TJ touched his collar with a whimper, “sir?”

“That is your in house collar, correct?” Steve growled. “You aren’t going to be just around the house doing whatever you want. You need your training collar.” He lifted up the dark grey collar he’d ordered, minus the fleece lining, denoting punishment mode. It was a thick leather but flexible enough, and would cover the bite mark completely, pressing against it but hiding it from being admired by others.

Breath hitching in his throat, TJ swallowed thickly and removed the smaller collar, handing it over to Steve.

Steve pocketed the collar and walked over to fasten the thicker collar around TJ’s neck, placing it just so. It covered bucky’s collar, pressing the smaller leather choker into TJ’s neck dangerously. Frowning, Steve removed the training collar then the twin collar and put the training collar back on. He pocketed Bucky's gift. Steve nodded. “Now, stand still and look appropriately chastised. I’m going to need to save this.” Steve picked up his phone and held it ready to take a picture of his beautiful, very excited and flushed lover.

TJ tried to follow Steve’s orders but he was finding it incredibly hard to stand still. His member ached and throbbed with arousal and his body thrummed under the dominance his lover was displaying. He didn’t even seem to notice Steve removing Bucky’s collar; however, he knew that the only reason Steve removed it was for safety.

Steve frowned fiercely at TJ as a silent admonishment. Finally, he snapped the shot and typed something in the phone. “Okay. Turn around, walk down to Bucky’s apartment and knock on the door. Invite them to dinner. Then come back here. You are _not_ to tell them why you are doing what you are doing, except that you are inviting them to dinner. Understand?”

It took a few seconds for the order to process. “Sir . . . you - - you want me . . . dressed like this?” TJ mewled softly at the thought of his twin seeing him dressed like this, being _punished_.

“How else should you dress? You haven’t earned any clothing.” Steve crossed his arms. “Of course, if you need a boost to your courage, press the first button.”

Looking at Steve, TJ pressed the button and a very low hum ran through him but no sound since it was buried in his ass. The vibration was barely more than a wriggle, a faint one, but it was hitting sensitive nerve endings around his opening and barely hitting TJ’s prostate as he took a step.

Groaning louder, TJ gripped the arm of the couch to keep upright, the vibrations might be dull but with how sensitive and needy he already was, it was enough to make his knees weak.

“Now, hit the other button, TJ. Go invite your brother and his wife to dinner.” Steve watched his boyfriend carefully.

Hitting the other button to turn off the vibrator, TJ stood straighter and swallowed, his eyes even more blown, his cheeks and chest flushed bright red.

“And remember, my love, if you learn your first lesson, you will be rewarded when you come back. What is the first lesson?” Steve asked softly.

“Learning to obey, sir?” TJ asked.

Sighing, Steve said, “don’t get too ambitious. The first lesson is TJ owns no one. Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond.”

“TJ owns no one,” he echoed on a soft, needy whimper. TJ took a step towards the door and then looked back at Steve.

“Good boy. One step at a time. I’ll be following, making sure you obey.” Steve nodded, knowing that TJ would understand on some level that Steve was exposing himself by doing this. Any neighbor could come across them; he would be totally unable to deny what was going on between them. Steve was coming out fully for the neighbors that night. TJ was not alone in this, and that soothed Steve somewhat: he did this for TJ.

Legs still a little wobbly, TJ walked out of the apartment; he couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed. This was what Steve wanted . . . even though the blond risked a lot, risked being seen by others; Steve wanted to do this for TJ.

Steve followed two steps behind, watching his lover the entire time. He closed but didn’t lock the apartment since he didn’t stop for the key but didn’t want the pets to escape. He took steadying breaths, quiet, as he followed TJ. Steve also checked to see if TJ ever flipped on the vibrator as well as to make sure TJ wasn’t getting too upset and need to safe out but would not let himself. Finally, TJ stopped in front of Bucky and Nat’s door, he glanced back at Steve as he raised his fist, giving the blond one last chance to back out.

Steve asked softly, “check in, pet.”

“Green, sir,” TJ answered in a whisper.

Steve nodded and whispered, “Green, pet.”

Smiling softly, TJ turned back to the door and knocked twice.

The door took a moment before opening, Bucky standing on the other side. He blinked slowly and offered a slow smile, pulling TJ into a hug. He whispered, “feeling better today you two?” He felt utterly stunned by this little performance but hesitated to challenge it until he knew more; Bucky didn’t want to start another misunderstanding.

Hugging his brother back, TJ smiled and then pulled back, “would you and Nat . . . like to come up for dinner?” He suddenly realized he stood in front of his twin in very little clothing; TJ flushed brighter and licked his lips.

“Nat?” Bucky ignored his own stirring erection at the delectable display his twin made and looked to his wife. “Wanna go to dinner at Steve and TJ’s?” Knowing it was a dominance thing, Bucky deliberately listed Steve first. He pretended TJ was dressed perfectly normal, that the idea of Steve making TJ parade around like that and in that damn dog collar was normal, too, and not causing Bucky a raging hard-on.

Nat shrugged, looking up from her phone and glancing at the two men in her doorway; the redhead didn’t look at all surprised by how TJ was dressed. “Sure, a night off from cooking might be good.”

Steve’s eyes spoke of his actual fear, but he stayed quiet, watching TJ carefully, ignoring the others.

Bucky nodded and turned back to TJ. “Sure, we’ll be up by six, okay?” He hoped that three or four hours would be enough for the couple to finish whatever it was they were doing, and he could get himself in control as well.

“That’s great,” TJ grinned, he squirmed slightly, trying to keep this conversation as normal as possible, though he eyed his brother lustfully.

“Time to go, pet,” Steve said softly, voice low and steady. “Thank them and let’s get upstairs. Remember, politeness in society.”

Bucky suddenly felt like he understood. TJ must have done something rude and Steve had to train him to correct that. It felt a bit ridiculous, but Bucky kept his face straight, his eyes serious. He refused to shame his brother or friend, especially knowing both had been so tortured in the past by people they trusted. Besides, the idea of _that kind_ of punishment actually kind of thrilled him.

“Thank you, Bucky, Nat,” TJ said softly and then turned to leave.

Bucky reached over and grabbed TJ’s hand and squeezed lightly, smiling. “Hey, is that Steve’s training collar?” he asked. “Real nice choice. Reminds me of him. See ya later.” He let go. It looked painful, but, again, tempting.

Grinning wider, TJ nodded at his twin before leaving the doorway and heading back up the stairs.

Steve followed silently the entire way until they were back in the apartment with the door sealed. Steve nodded. “Now, you may get into a comfortable position so you may suck on me and play with your buttons as you wish, my good boy.”

Gasping, TJ nodded and knelt by the couch where he knew Steve graded his papers. He ached for his twin, but with Steve’s demanding tone, the ache slowly faded away.

Smiling, Steve sank onto the couch and grabbed his clipboard of papers. “I’ll let you know when I want to cum.” He felt more secure, and knew that continuing the scene with TJ, having given him permission to play with his vibrator, would help TJ realize that Steve was comfortable.

“Yes, sir,” TJ whispered and took out Steve’s member before wrapping his lips around the tip, bobbing his head as he swallowed down the length.

Steve had trouble concentrating on his papers, but he decided to merely pretend he was actually working. He’d catch up while TJ slept; the lean man always napped after sex while Steve often felt invigorated after cumming. Steve held the clipboard out of the way with one hand and brushed his fingers through TJ’s curls as if he being idle about the move.

Turning on the vibrator, his passage lighting up with the stimulation to his sensitive nerves, TJ moaned around the thick shaft that stretched out his lips. His blown, pale eyes looked up at Steve before closing as another hum tickled against his prostate.

Steve continued to stroke gently through TJ’s curls, smiling, his body beginning to hum a bit. Softly, he said, “TJ, pet, my inhaler is in my pants pocket. Wanna give it to me so I can cum without fear?” He probably wouldn’t need it, but the doctor _had _said before sex, so Steve would obey. He didn’t wanna scare his boyfriend again.__

__Without pulling off, TJ reached into Steve’s pocket and pulled out the inhaler. Offering it to his boyfriend, TJ swallowed down another inch. He rolled his hips, grinding against that small toy in his passage. Nodding, Steve took the inhaler and made a show of shaking the medicine up then using two puffs to keep his lungs open. With a deep breath through his nose, TJ opened his throat and took all of Steve’s length, letting the muscles of his throat tighten and swallow around the blond’s member._ _

__Steve’s thighs tensed and a soft moan escaped his lips. He let his hips roll up, knowing TJ liked a bit of a thrust when he gave head. “Damn fine, pet. If you learn this quickly, you’ll be the perfect good boy.”_ _

__Smiling around Steve’s member, TJ hummed sending vibrations up through the blond’s erection. The small vibrator continued to hum inside him, his own erection straining against the soft fabric of his briefs._ _

__Letting his eyes close, head falling back against the cushions, Steve groaned again. “Let me know when you’re wanting a bit more, pet . . . like when you wanna cum.” He tossed the clipboard to the side to wrap his other hand in TJ’s curls as well._ _

__TJ didn’t want to cum; he wanted to bring Steve to completion. Turning off the vibrator, the brunet pulled back slightly only to push back, fucking his mouth over Steve’s large tool, letting the head hit the back of his throat with every thrust._ _

__“Good answer,” Steve praised then began canting and rolling his hips to join in the thrusting, feeling himself getting closer. He was still new enough to their relationship, their love play, that he wouldn’t last long. But he intended to enjoy every second of TJ’s attentions._ _

__Humming again at the praise, TJ continued to move his mouth up and down Steve’s shaft, lapping and sucking at the sensitive cockhead._ _

__“God, pet, you are so good at this. Glad I don’t haveta teach you this. Woulda annoyed me. I got too much to teach you already,” he made it sound like he was relieved, but really Steve wouldn’t have cared either way. At least this way, TJ had something he knew his own limits to, so Steve didn’t have to fear hurting him. “Close, pet. You’re hot mouth is so sweet.”_ _

__Pushing back down, TJ swallowed Steve’s length completely once more in one single movement._ _

__With a soft cry, Steve bucked, then he groaned long and low. Gripping TJ’s hair tightly, he forced himself further and shuddered, cumming hard and hot._ _

__Gagging around Steve’s shaft, TJ sputtered cum and spit at the corners of his mouth and his eyes instantly burned with tears. He didn’t try to pull away though; he continued to swallow the remaining cum that Steve shot down his throat._ _

__Finally, Steve tapped TJ’s arm and pulled back. “Let me go pet. Breathe for me.” He smiled lovingly down at TJ. “Just breath for me.”_ _

__Pulling back all the way, TJ sucked in deep breaths; his chin was coated in a mix of Steve’s cum and his own spit._ _

__Steve stroked TJ’s hair carefully, tenderly. He reached into his pocket for the cloth from earlier. It wasn’t the cleanest, so Steve merely lifted it to TJ’s face without touching him. “Spit for me, baby.” He wanted to make sure he hadn’t ripped TJ’s throat with that last thrust, checking for blood._ _

__TJ spat on the towel; there wasn’t any sign of blood._ _

__Relief crossed his features and Steve petted again. “Check in? Can you talk?”_ _

__Rasping, TJ said, “green . . . sir.”_ _

__“Good,” Steve stood and lifted TJ into his arms, like a man with his bride, and carried his lover to the bathroom. He turned on the water, undressed him quickly, including the training collar, and carefully eased out the vibrator tossing it on the clothes. Steve then settled TJ into the bath and stripped. He climbed in and began washing TJ, head to toe, skipping his genitals and ass. Slowly, Steve began tending to TJ’s passage with two fingers, leaning over to take his lover’s shaft into his own hot mouth, rewarding him for his long day of obedience and pleasure._ _

__Moaning, TJ’s hips stuttered, unsure which way to thrust into. The erratic movement of his hips was a mix of both. Whimpering in pleasure, the brunet knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer, having been teetering on the edge for most the day._ _

__Steve pulled slowly off as he eased his third finger inside his beautiful boyfriend. “Wanna taste you. Cum for me. Give me everything!” He engulfed TJ once more, sucking him down, swallowing past his non-existent gag reflex._ _

__Crying out, a sound that was half sob, half groan, TJ thrust into Steve’s mouth and coated the blond’s throat in his hot seed._ _

__Steve swallowed it down, enjoying the sensation, tasting nothing since it was in his throat instead of his mouth, but the feeling, the hot jets, the intense fullness, made Steve groan around TJ’s member._ _

__“Sir . . .” TJ croaked, voice still broken from the blowjob. “Oh . . . sir . . .”_ _

__Steve lifted his head, pulling tenderly from TJ’s member and caressing his hips with strong fingers. Smiling, Steve whispered, “I love you, my good boy.”_ _

__“Love . . . you, too, sir,” TJ whimpered, “can - - can we cuddle until it’s time to get ready for Bucky and Nat coming over.” TJ had rarely asked Steve for anything._ _

__“Yes.” Steve did not say TJ earned it, because he wanted TJ to never feel he had to _earn_ touch or cuddles. That was not part of their scenes, per se. It was something Steve would always give TJ, even breaking scene to give his lover that attention. Steve spread his arms wide. “Let me dry you off and carry you to our bed, pet.” He stood, lifting his lover as if he weighed little._ _

__Steve took some time drying off TJ, careful to pay special attention to his every joint and his sensitive areas. Steve set TJ on the chair in the bathroom and hurried to dry off. He didn’ leave himself wet, but he did go quicker on himself than TJ. TJ had been pushed to limits Steve had never explored with him, perhaps no one had. Now it was time for TJ to be cared for, to be loved and soothed. Steve turned and picked up his lover and carried him carefully into the bedroom. He lay TJ on the big bed and hurried off to get some bottled water from the kitchen, checking that the pets were happy. He came back and curled around TJ, cuddling his boyfriend, burying his face in TJ’s lovely neck, right over the bite mark. He kissed very lightly, reminding TJ that it was there but not trying to bring him back up too quickly. Steve had been reading about taking care of a sub, and he intended never to get in the habit of leaving TJ hanging too long or letting him get sick._ _

__Finally, snuggled together nude and relaxed, Steve offered his lover one of the bottles, sipping from his own as he pulled them up on the pillows, still holding TJ tight. “Check in, pet?” he murmured._ _

__TJ hummed contently as he took the water bottle, “green, sir.” The brunet’s eyes were glassy, dazed . . . but he looked happy and relaxed._ _

__“Mind if I ask a few things about what happened today with us, pet?” Steve tried to indicate the scene was over, but the loving wasn’t._ _

__Shaking his head, TJ took a small sip from the bottle as he looked at his boyfriend._ _

__Nodding, Steve responded, “answer me honestly, okay? Was making you go downstairs okay?”_ _

__Lowering the bottle, TJ nodded, “yeah . . . I don’t know if I could walk out like that on the street or anything . . .”_ _

__Shaking his head, Steve lifted TJ’s hand and said, “I wouldn’t do that to you unless I thought you _needed_ it, pet.”_ _

__“You always take such good care of me,” TJ smiled softly, nuzzling._ _

__“It’s my privilege to take care of the one I love so much,” Steve murmured and kissed his neck._ _

__“That’s okay . . . I think Bucky had a hard time with the display,” TJ said before taking another drink._ _

__“I think Bucky was very turned on, but he respected your punishment. That’s a sign of love, right?” Steve stroked TJ’s shoulder gently._ _

__“I’d say so,” TJ nodded, smiling softly._ _

__“Okay, and the spanking? Too much? Not enough? I wasn’t sure how far to take that, and the book said I should use my hand a certain way to lessen the pain.” Steve kissed TJ’s hand again._ _

__“The spanking was perfect, Steve,” TJ continued to smile, as if remembering the punishment._ _

__“I wanted to see your ass red so much, pet,” Steve cooed softly. He kissed TJ’s hand again, this time turning his hand and kissing the palm. “And the collar? I left the lining out for punishment, but did it hurt? Was it okay?”_ _

__“It’s great, don’t think I’ll be able to wear it for hours on end,” TJ shrugged and took another drink._ _

__“I’ll let you try it with the lining and see if that can work for longer periods, but punishment shouldn’t last hours, pet. Not _that kind_ of punishment.” He smiled. “When we get up, I’ve gotta get your in house collar and Bucky’s outta my jeans for you.” Steve sipped as well, trying to keep hydrated. “And, TJ, was it a scene killer when I asked for the inhaler? Only I hadn’t intended to ask for a blow job so soon so hadn’t used it before that.”_ _

__“Nah, it wasn’t a scene killer, you needed it,” TJ smiled over at his lover, pale eyes beginning to clear and regain their usual life._ _

__Steve kissed TJ’s palm again and smiled softly at him. “Looking a bit calmer. Have you been reading the book on sub care? So you can guide me?”_ _

__Shaking his head, TJ looked up at Steve, “I haven’t gotten around to it yet, sir, but I’ll start reading it soon?”_ _

__Nodding, Steve stroked TJ’s hair, “good boy. Tonight and tomorrow we have to grade our papers and stuff, but after that’s done, we can study the rest of our stuff. And, if you want, we can cuddle while we grade papers?”_ _

__“Make grading at least a _little_ enjoyable,” TJ grumbled._ _

__“Good, then we’ll get it done and out of the way, pet,” Steve kissed TJ’s neck softly over the bite mark once more. “That’ll fade by morning, I’m thinking. Monday at the latest.”_ _

__“If not, I got that make-up so I can cover it up,” TJ nodded._ _

__Chuckling, Steve said, “we’ll need more of that stuff.” He met TJ’s eyes and touched his own neck. “A lot more.”_ _


	9. A Monday of Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **ASSAULT** ; dom/sub; bigotry and actions taken against non-heterosexual persons; post traumatic; **Immediate Post Traumatic** ; fears are realized; much angst; hurt-comfort; dom-sub explanation

TJ woke on Monday morning to the shrill noise of Steve’s alarm; groaning loudly, TJ stuffed his face in the pillow and willed the noise to stop.

Steve slapped the alarm off, switched the setting and put it back on the nightstand, turning it back on. He slid out of bed to get ready for his run, letting TJ try to get another half hour of sleep. “C’mon, Phil, time for our run.” He leashed the puppy, let the kitten into the bedroom, and left the apartment.

A sudden dawning came over TJ as he heard the front door close: it was Monday. The weekend was over, and Steve and he would be rushed back into _normal_ life. TJ would have to leave the safety of the apartment, a place where Steve felt comfortable enough to be himself and love TJ freely. The small little paradise that they’d built in just a few days was crashing down and leaving TJ raw and vulnerable. He’d have to pretend that Steve and he weren’t in a relationship . . . he’d wear the chokers, of course, but he wouldn’t have his boyfriend by his side. TJ feared that with Steve returning to the academy, full of judgmental people, that Steve would revert back . . . that they’d lose any ground they’d made over the weekend and have to start all over again.

Another shiver rushed through TJ’s body as he remembered he’d have to go back to the academy as well, where it was clear Brock had no problem returning. Would Brock be waiting to get TJ alone? He was terrified of another attack, that Brock would hurt him again. He knew that even with Steve, Bucky and Natasha making sure he wasn’t left by himself, there would be times when he’d be alone; it was inevitable.

TJ curled up on his side, his fingers clutching onto the comforter as if it were his lifeline. He wished that he’d be able to stay in the apartment forever if only he held on tight enough. A tug then pounce onto TJ’s hip came suddenly as Luna jumped up onto her owner. As Luna curled up on top of him, TJ continued to let his fears and worries drown him. He didn’t even realize he’d begun to cry, his chest heaving like he couldn’t draw in a proper sized breath.

The alarm went off again just as the apartment door opened. Steve let the puppy loose from his leash and Phil ran to his water bowl to _‘refuel’_ as Steve called it. “Hey, pet, we’re back. You up yet?”

No answer came to Steve from his boyfriend.

Frowning, Steve strode into the bedroom. He reached over and shut off the alarm, sinking down next to TJ on the mattress. Leaning over, he touched TJ’s arm and softly said, “baby? You okay?”

Miserable, tear-washed eyes lifted to look at Steve as TJ whimpered, “I - - I don’t wanna go . . .”

“Don’t wanna go to school? Why?” Steve reached his hand under the comforter to stroke TJ’s arm, leaning close to kiss his forehead, checking his temperature the way Steve’s mother, Sarah, used to check Steve.

“Safe . . . here . . .” TJ murmured, eyes falling from Steve’s face as he buried his face into the pillow, still clutching the comforter in a white-knuckled grip.

“TJ, baby, look at me. Gotta talk, sweetheart.” Steve tugged very lightly at the comforter, making TJ obey or disobey of his own volition.

Looking back up at Steve, though his grip didn’t lessen, TJ’s eyes brimmed with fresh tears, “we’ll lose everything . . .”

“How?” Steve asked seriously, not rejecting TJ’s concerns as petty or silly. They were real enough to make TJ cry, so Steve wanted to soothe them away. “How will we lose what we have, pet?”

“You . . . you won’t be comfortable - - you’ll - - hear what they . . . say,” TJ’s bottom lip quivered slightly, signaling that the brunet was about to break down.

Steve lifted TJ’s face, cupping it, and kissed him on the lips. “TJ, breathe. Breathe for me.”

“What - - what if he . . . comes ba - - back?” TJ had started to mumble almost incoherently, his eyes wide with panic.

“Okay, both are legitimate fears. Let’s deal with them one at a time, sweetheart. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. C’mon, TJ, gotta breathe or I can’t fix things.” Steve stroked TJ’s back, patting lightly.

Breathing in deep, TJ let it out shakily. He repeated the process a few more times until finally his breathing began to even out.

“Good boy, TJ, my precious, good boy,” Steve crooned, kissing his lover’s shoulder carefully, gently. “First fear . . . me listening to them at school and no longer being with you? TJ, I won’t pretend that they won’t make me nervous and scared. I thought we were prepared for no touching or anything outside the apartment. We’ll work on my fears, and that will take a long time, baby. I feel safe here, with you. I feel like I don’t ever want to leave. But my pension will run out if I don’t work. So, we have to take that chance, and you’ve gotta be there for me so I can hold onto you and our love, right?” Steve felt worry start to build at the idea that TJ might back off at home just because Steve wasn’t ready for together outside the home.

Whimpering, TJ nodded, bringing his knees to his chest in an obvious self-comforting gesture. Whenever TJ got stressed, it seemed like he wanted to make himself as little as possible, almost as if he wished he could disappear entirely: away from all the traumas he’d suffered, away from the fear and anxieties that constantly threatened to overwhelm him.

Stroking TJ’s hair, Steve said, firmly, “no matter how scared I am out there, baby, I will always love you. I will always protect you. They can’t take you from me now, can they?” He stroked again. “I love you. Do you believe in me?”

“Yes,” TJ’s voice was small, meek. His body trembled as he thought of Sean, how his ex-boyfriend had promised the same thing . . . had said he loved TJ. The brunet knew, logically, that Steve was nothing like Sean, but he couldn’t stop comparing the two.

Steve lifted TJ’s hand and kissed it, turning the palm to his lips and lingering there. “TJ, Bucky and Nat will be there, too. You can get ahold of us at any time. So Brock can’t touch you, right? He can’t hurt you if the kids or other teachers are around. He can’t even dare because he knows the cops are looking for him.” The idea of Brock not attacking because he was also hiding felt odd, but so far it had proven true. True, he’d shown up and taunted, but after the last time, with the cops being called, Steve wondered if the man would dare show his face that soon.

In a soft whisper, so quiet he didn’t even know if Steve would be able to hear it, TJ admitted, “he raped me . . .”

Nodding, Steve pulled TJ into a firm cuddle, strong arms protectively wrapping around him. “I know, baby, I know. I love you. I love you so much.” Steve hadn’t wanted TJ to be afraid, but he wouldn’t heal unless he faced the trauma, and that meant dealing with the emotions that went with the truth.

“He won’t give up, Steve . . . he’s - - he’ll do it again . . .” TJ cried, burying his face into Steve’s neck. “He’ll hurt me again - -”

Hugging and rocking, Steve firmly said, “he will give up eventually, but I don’t know when. He sees you as an easy target. You need to become a hard, elusive, troublesome target that doesn’t seem worth it to him. Bucky, Nat, and I will be there,” he reminded again, “we’ll meet you between classes. We’ll never let you alone. And we can sign you up for self defense if you want, or a weapon, or whatever it is you feel you need.” Steve dropped a kiss to TJ’s head, “my sweet, good TJ.”

“You love me. You won’t leave, right? Won’t leave me?” TJ murmured into Steve’s skin.

Steve carefully forced TJ’s face up so their eyes met once more. Firmly, clearly, he stated, “I love you. I will _never_ leave you. You are _mine_ , TJ. No one can touch you. I _own_ you.” He kissed TJ’s lips. “What’s the first lesson?”

“TJ Hammond doesn’t own anyone,” TJ sniffled, seeming to be calming down as Steve reinforced his dominance, his control.

“That’s part of the lesson. What’s the _main_ part of the lesson, baby?” Steve insisted, his voice steady, deep, and calm.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” TJ tried again, voice quivering from the breakdown.

Nodding, Steve kissed him. “Good boy. And after school, I’ll show you the lesson again if you forget. Because I will always be happy to re-teach you something you forget. That’s my job. To keep you safe and teach you. Correct?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, nuzzling Steve’s chest.

“And if you forget that, what can you do to remember?” Steve slid off the bed and walked to the table in the hall, quickly, talking as he moved so he returned before the end of his question. He sank onto the bed once more and smiled in encouragement.

TJ looked a bit confused, wiping at his eyes as he sat up.

Smiling softly, Steve said, “time for lesson two, baby. If TJ forgets who owns him, he will touch his collar to remember instantly.” Steve fastened the beautiful heart collar around TJ’s neck, settling it with a stroke right above Bucky’s twin collar. He shook his head and removed it instantly, along with the other collar. “Not right.” He leaned over and sucked a deep bruising hickey into TJ’s throat, right where his heart normally would be, over the Adam’s apple. Leaning back after two minutes of deep sucking, Steve once more fastened the pair of collars on TJ’s neck, letting the metal heart fall against the bruising to caress it. “There, perfect.”

Giving Steve a watery smile, TJ threw himself into Steve’s arms and hugged his lover tightly. “Thank you, sir.”

Steve returned the hug just as tightly, holding TJ against his heart, ignoring his clothes that were still damp with sweat from his run. “So, what’s the first and second lessons, baby?” Steve pulled back enough to look down at his boyfriend.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond, and if TJ forgets who owns him, he’ll touch his collar and remember instantly,” TJ repeated, seeming a lot calmer.

“Like this,” Steve picked up TJ’s hand, curled all his fingers over so only his index finger pointed out, and touched the center of TJ’s throat right over his _love bite_. “Feel that? That’s Steve’s ownership. Your Captain’s love.”

“I love you, Captain, I love you . . .” TJ leaned forward, still clutching the choker and kissed Steve’s lips.

“And I love you, my precious good boy.” Steve hugged TJ to him tightly. Softly, he dropped a kiss on TJ’s head and said, “I’m gonna get a quick shower while you get dressed. When I’m done, I want you to leave your love on me. Right where I can touch it. On my wrist?” Make up would be impractical on Steve’s wrist, so the mark would be visible.

Smiling wider, TJ nodded, “yes, sir.’

Steve knew that having the hickey on his wrist would be easier to hide than his neck, but it _could_ be seen, so it _could_ be understood. Steve was willing to take that chance. He needed something to remind him of TJ’s love and strength, too, something to ground him when the rules and bigots got too much. Standing, Steve grinned. “Now, today you need to wear your blue slacks and black button down, the shiny one that looks like silver shines through if it moves. I want you to wear the green boxers so whenever you go bathroom you remember you’re green for me.”

Laughing softly, TJ wiped at his eyes once more, before standing up and walking over to the closet to grab Steve’s selected items.

“The black socks and shoes, but make sure there’s some silver in the socks, right? And then feed our babies. I should be done by then.” Steve didn’t grab any clothes, heading down the hall to the bathroom to bathe.

TJ got dressed quickly and styled his hair in his usual fashion before walking out to the living room to feed the pets and change the litter box. After washing his hands in the kitchen sink, TJ sat on the stool and waited for Steve to finish.

The bathroom door opened and Steve walked out totally nude. He smiled, glad he’d managed to catch TJ just sitting, proving he had kept his word. “Mark me, pet, so I can dress for work. I think today I’ll wear my blue shirt and black slacks.” He sank down next to his lover.

“Mmm . . . I like your blue shirt,” TJ mused and gently grabbed Steve’s wrist, “you sure, sir?”

Meeting TJ’s eyes, Steve said, “Lesson number one, I own my good boy. Lesson number two, if I forget this, I can touch my mark of ownership to remember.” He held out his arm.

Smiling, TJ leaned down and sucked on the skin right above Steve’s pulse point, long enough to leave a deep, purple bruise. Straightening back up, TJ offered his boyfriend another smile.

“Now, no matter how scared I get, I will not forget that I am safe in your arms. Right?” Steve smiled at TJ. “And I will _never_ leave my good boy.” Licking at his lips, Steve leaned in and kissed TJ soundly with his wet mouth. Pulling back, he grinned.

“Never,” TJ echoed, leaning forward to give Steve a quick kiss.

Steve kissed him back once more, smiling. “And, you can text any time, pet. I’ll make sure one of us are there by the time your classes end. Then you won’t be alone. We’ll share fourth and fifth period.”

Nodding, TJ took a deep breath and released it, “thank you . . . I - -”

“And tonight, we call for a counselor so we can go and get help for our fears, right? I see that I need help, pet. I want help. I’ve learned that at least three people out there don’t care if I’m in love with you. Now I need help believing others won’t either.” Steve stood, caressed TJ’s face, then went to get dressed. They’d have to grab breakfast on the go that morning because their exchange had taken their breakfast time.

After Steve got dressed, TJ grabbed his bag with all his graded papers and other supplies that sat by the door and looked over at the blond, “ready, Captain?”

Taking a slow breath, Steve nodded. “Ready. Kiss me once more for the road, pet.” Steve knew it would be a lot more work before he could hold TJ in public.

Humming happily, TJ leaned up and kissed his lover, slowly and passionately.

Steve returned the kiss, tilting his head to seal their mouths more thoroughly. He cupped TJ’s face.

Keening softly into the kiss, TJ pressed against Steve’s palm. His hands ran down the blond’s sides, his touches feather-light. Slowly, TJ’s nimble fingers traveled down below the waistband of Steve’s trousers and he could feel the soft lace of the lingerie. Pulling back, TJ grinned at Steve, “that gives me something to look forward to coming home . . . bet you look so pretty, sir.”

Steve smiled, the fear that had been building at the idea of leaving subsided. “It’s the pair you haven’t seen yet,” he whispered. “I love being pretty . . . pretty for my good boy. Sexy for my TJ.”

“Always pretty for me, sir. But the lingerie is so sexy on you,” TJ nuzzled Steve once more before stepping back completely.

Sighing in happiness, Steve nodded. He bent over to stroke Luna then Phil. Straightening, Steve grabbed his messenger bag with his papers inside, and pocketed his key, wallet, and phone. He touched the collar right over TJ’s hickey. “Ready, TJ.”

Humming contently, TJ nodded and opened the door.

Bucky lowered his hand and chuckled. “Well, Nat, looks like they _are_ ready. We were coming to see if you were playing hooky or if you’d want coffee and danishes on the move with us?”

“I need coffee,” TJ nodded, giving his brother a smile.

“Yeah, me, too,” Bucky grinned back, eyes trailing over his twin. “That looks good. Great shirt!” Bucky nodded. “I must say, TJ, that you’re wardrobe has improved since you decided to use Steve’s artistic eye. Did he tell you he refused a full scholarship in Paris?”

Gaping, TJ looked at Steve, eyes wide with shock, “you did _what_? Why?”

“I had to decide before graduation, and Mom was sick with cancer. She died in October that year, but I already missed the scholarship. So I went for history and art theory, and joined . . . well, you know the rest.” He sounded a lot calmer this time talking about it, even if he avoided mentioning the army specifically.

“He’s amazing,” Natasha supplied, looking at TJ from the other side of Bucky as they began walking towards the academy. “His stuff is beautiful. I’ve had him help with stage backgrounds a few times. Better than anything I could order online.”

Steve flushed, but this time it was in pleasure, no sign of embarrassment or fear. He smiled. “I like to paint and draw,” he said. “It would have been great to study art. Maybe someday I can do that . . . you know, after retirement or something? It’d be nice.”

TJ grinned, “do you have anything I could see? I’d like to see something you’ve done.”

Nodding, Steve said, “sure. Come to my classroom? I can show you some. We can go there during our long break?” He of course referred to periods four and five, which on Monday were free for both of them.

Bucky snickered, “it’ll take two periods to stare at one of his pictures let alone a lot.” He looked at TJ and bumped shoulders, whispering, “a hickey? Sexy.” Bucky latched onto the playful comment to distract himself from the sight of his brother in that gorgeous outfit, begging to be undressed.

Flushing, TJ bumped Bucky’s shoulder back playfully as he smiled widely, “thanks,” his tone dropped to the whisper his twin had used, “had a bit of a meltdown this morning . . . but Steve took care of me.”

Nodding, Bucky said, “I used to meltdown after the accident a few years back. Really, it’s the main reason I never got another car. I have trouble in cabs even.” He knew it wasn’t exactly what TJ must be talking about, but hoped the normalcy of people freaking out over their fears would help TJ to feel normal.

Frowning softly, TJ nodded; he’d felt horrible when he found out about Bucky’s accident three weeks after it’d happened. The accident had been the same day TJ had nearly killed himself and nobody in DC had told him Bucky had been in a serious accident, afraid that the news would threaten his recovery and questionable sobriety. “I’m sorry I never came to see you in the hospital . . .”

Bucky shook his head. “I wasn’t awake the first week, but Steve and Nat were there. And after that, I was told you’d been sick, too, so I understood you couldn’t travel. You contacted me as soon as you could, I’m sure.” Bucky threw an arm around TJ’s shoulder and hugged him. “Besides, it’s past and you’re here now. Better in real life.”

TJ pushed into Bucky’s hug, gently nuzzling his twin’s neck before pulling away, realizing that they were in public and needed to keep the displays of affection to a minimum.

Bucky laughed softly. “Feeling better today, TJ? You have a cold nose.” He grinned at his twin, trying to let him know it wasn’t forbidden to cuddle, to nuzzle, just as long as they were very careful. Bucky hugged TJ against his side with his right arm.

Grinning, TJ purposely rubbed his _cold_ nose against Bucky’s skin.

Laughing, Bucky pushed him away. “Okay, when you get home, you are gonna have to have your lover warm that thing. Stop attacking your poor brother and let’s get our coffee.” His eyes promised that the lover might _not_ be Steve that night.

Luckily the line at the coffee shop wasn’t too long and none of the teachers were late to their classes. 

Bucky said, “I’ll catch you for sixth and end of classes, right?” He grinned.

Nodding, TJ smiled back at Bucky. 

“I’ve third, fourth, and fifth,” Steve said. “Nat claimed second. And I asked Sam to pop in on seventh, his free period. He said he’d love to check out your instruments.”

Natasha hugged TJ before disappearing down the hall towards the large auditorium where her drama class was held.

Bucky hugged TJ then waved and headed off in the opposite direction to Natasha.

Steve gave TJ a brief hug, as long as Nat’s and Bucky’s had been. As TJ had been hugged by the others, hugging him wouldn’t seem weird for Steve, a friend not family member. He whispered, “later pet,” and pulled back.

“Bye, see you later,” TJ nodded, smiling, and opened the door to his classroom; he knew students would start filing in, in a few minutes.

Steve hefted his bag and headed for his first class.

Passing back the first graded assignment of the year had been just as fun as TJ had thought it was going to be. Most the students complained about their grades, thinking that because TJ was a new teacher, that he would’ve gone easy on them. TJ explained to them that music was a serious commitment, that they had to put in actual work to get any better.

By the time fourth period came around, the routine seemed pretty . . . well, routine. Steve stopped in just as the bell rang. He’d made sure that all of them would get there before the students had finished transitioning classes, but Steve had taken the chance to let all his classes out five minutes early so he could run to TJ’s classroom in his five minutes when his turns came up. Steve was certainly a popular teacher that day.

Grinning up at Steve as the blond entered the room, TJ finished up with the last student complaining about her grade, giving her the same speech he’d given everyone else.

Grinning as the student filied past him, looking curious, Steve called, “so, the new guy wanted to see my artwork?”

TJ nodded, “I hear it’s fantastic.” The brunet looked at Steve and then said as he walked up to his boyfriend, “the students think I’m being too hard on them . . .”

“They’re pushing and testing. They’ll learn you aren’t a pushover, TJ. Don’t give in to a bunch of kids.” Steve grinned and bumped shoulders like he’d seen Bucky and TJ did often, hoping that the small contact would help. Steve smiled at his lover.

Smiling, TJ nodded and ran his fingers through his hair, “yeah, one kid actually told me that since it’s my first year I should just pass everyone, can you believe that?” The brunet returned the small gesture with a smile.

“Privileged and entitled,” Steve responded with a chuckle. “They’ll learn to respect you in time. Right now, you just keep doing your job.” Steve led TJ from the room and down to the Humanities wing in the next building. “And here we are,” he said softly, smiling.

TJ nodded and followed Steve into the blond’s classroom; he looked around the room, not having ever gotten a real good look at it before.

The posters Steve had been hanging the week before were still there, but turned out not to be photo shops of the archaeological sites. They were, upon closer inspection, precise drawings in pencil and ink.

“Holy shit, Steve,” TJ breathed, stepping closer to one of the drawings to get a better look, “these are amazing! I thought there were photographs!”

Laughing, flushing in pleasure, Steve shrugged. “I do them in the summers during vacation, travel the world, you know? When I was little, I wanted to do comics, but my mom insisted I was better than that. She made me take it seriously. Even got me a tutor while I was in high school.”

“Well, I mean, comic artists are very talented as well . . . but, you are . . . I’ve been to a lot of galleries and these are some of the best works I’ve seen, seriously,” TJ couldn’t tear his eyes off the drawing, so enraptured by the detail of the image.

“Momma insisted I should either be a _real_ artist or work in a different field. So, after enough years, I gave in and took her advice. Never got to follow it. I would love to do other forms, too, you know not realism, but I wanted these for the classroom so I could get the kids to pay attention.” Steve touched one of Stonehenge. “If you look, the angles aren’t the same as popular photos, so I tend to get the kids looking for the _‘copies’_ on the internet, and they do reports, too. I promised that if anyone could find the original I copied, I would pass them the rest of the year. No one, of course, has pulled that off.”

Quietly, TJ said, “not only do I have a sexy boyfriend, but he’s talented as hell, too.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Steve dropped his voice to a bare whisper, but he’d said it . . . in the classroom . . . at the academy.

Smiling, TJ flushed, and looked back at the drawing, “you captured it so well . . . I’ve never actually been to Stonehenge . . . but I feel like - - I don’t know, that I have?”

Stepping up, Steve said, “I always wanted to travel America, too. Maybe the Grand Canyon? Yellowstone?” He touched TJ’s hand then pulled back. “Maybe even DC for the holidays? I’ve never been.”

“Not all it’s cracked up to be,” TJ chewed his bottom lip; he knew eventually the rest of his family would have to meet Steve, but he worried that they wouldn’t approve.

“Philadelphia then.” Taking a steadying breath, Steve said, “what I’m trying to say is, I wanna take you on a holiday so you can see what I draw?”

“Heard Colorado is beautiful during the winter,” TJ grinned.

“Yeah. Don’t know how to ski, so I’ll have to spend a lot of time cuddling by a cabin fire?” Steve sounded hopeful.

“Sounds amazing, you could rent a small cabin for a week . . . have it all to yourself, no one to worry about being nosy,” TJ looked up at Steve, grinning widely and looking excited at the prospect of going on vacation with his boyfriend.

“And take my . . . lover there,” Steve latched onto the word Bucky had used earlier, a non-gendered but very personal moniker.

“I’m sure . . . they’d like that,” TJ muttered, a happy smile on his face.

“Yeah, _they_ will, but mostly my main guy . . .” Steve breathed, fighting not to kiss his boyfriend.

TJ grinned and nodded, his fingers brushing over his choker and holding it for a second before letting his hand fall back to his side.

Seeing the move, Steve smiled wider, lifted his wrist to prominently display his own hickey, and brushed his fingers over the mark as if over his lover’s lips. “I look forward to vacation already,” he whispered.

“Me too,” TJ responded, nodding and flashing Steve his bright smile.

“Me, too,” Brock snickered from the doorway. “So, is it a playdate? Threesomes can be wild.”

TJ tensed and instinctively stepped behind Steve, his pale eyes widening as he looked at the burly man in the doorway.

Steve’s smile dropped from his face and he pulled out his phone, speed dialing, stance spread and strong. “Fuck off, Rumlow!” He didn’t add anything, just the plain, short, unmistakable order.

Brock laughed. “Why? Can’t wait for Hammond to bend you over a desk? I’m warning you, _Thomas_ , that you won’t make it in his pants. He couldn’t even keep his girlfriend happy and she was a _real_ knockout!” Brock snickered and strolled off.

TJ released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding; his arms wrapped around himself as he took several deep, calming breaths.

Steve frowned fiercely, walked over to the classroom door, and shut the door, locking it. He hung up, frustrated that Rumlow was still roving free, intending to call the police once he’d calmed down TJ. He pulled a small curtain over the window, blocking off the outside world since his classroom blinds were also closed. Striding back to TJ, Steve pulled him into a tight, fierce hug. “Mine,” he growled.

Nodding, nuzzling Steve’s chest, TJ confirmed, “your’s, sir.” His arms wrapped around the blond’s waist and held him close.

“And I’m gonna take my lovely boy on vacation to Colorado for Christmas. Would you like that, my pet?” Steve asked, his voice at a normal tone.

TJ nodded, looking up at Steve with a soft smile, “yes, Captain. I’d like that very much.”

“And I’m gonna rent us a cabin with an outdoor hot tub so I can draw you sitting in it while the snow falls all around you . . . drinking anything we want, eating anything we want, and loving on every surface in any room.” Steve buried his face in TJ’s neck and nuzzled at the collars, tugging very lightly with his teeth so the metal heart caressed over the hickey.

Gasping softly as the metal brushed over the bruise, TJ kissed Steve’s clothed chest, “sounds like heaven, sir.”

“So, my pet will be a good boy and earn our little cabin vacation? So we can get out of this drudgery and go to the _real_ world where our love is untouched?”

“Yes, sir, I’ll be your good boy,” TJ said, eyes flickering up to look at his lover.

Steve met his gaze and smiled, a sinful angelic look across his sweet face. “And I refuse to share you with your political family for our Christmas. Bucky and Nat, maybe, if they’re real good, but not anyone else.”

“No one else, sir,” TJ agreed, his eyes moved to the clock on the wall and he sighed, “gotta get lunch, sir.”

Nodding, Steve dropped a kiss on TJ’s temple then slowly pulled back. “Sorry I’m not brave enough to hold you in the quad, love,” Steve offered a soft smile, his eyes apologetic.

“Don’t worry about it,” TJ waved dismissively, “we’ll get there someday.”

Steve nodded, his look changing to determined. “Okay, one last kiss before I let in the rest of the world, pet.” Steve pulled TJ against him, flush, to seal their mouths for a deep kiss.

Keening against Steve’s lips, TJ’s tongue slipped into the blond’s mouth, savoring the taste and feel of his boyfriend.

Reluctantly, Steve pulled away and touched foreheads, taking a deep breath, sharing air with his lover. “Okay. Gotta be strong. Gotta face them.” He smiled and straightened then stroked TJ’s ass as he headed for the door to unlock and open it.

With a pleasant shiver, TJ followed Steve out of the classroom and into the quad where they had their lunch. Eventually, they’d have to find somewhere else when the weather turned bad. The two men ate and chatted happily, Steve telling TJ all about his summer trip to England, and TJ content despite the small confrontation with Brock.

Finally, Steve checked his watch and sighed. “Time to walk you back to class, pet,” he said softly, almost absently. “Ready?”

“I suppose,” TJ sighed and threw away his thrash before walking side by side with the large blond. 

At the classroom, Steve waited until the first of TJ’s afternoon students arrived before heading back to his class at a sprint so he wouldn’t be late.

The rest of the day went by in a similar fashion as the first half: students complaining, TJ trying to explain that music wasn't just a simple elective but a subject that required dedication and hard work. Finally, the last bell rang and TJ didn’t even realize Bucky wasn’t there to meet him as he was busy stuffing things back into his bag.

The last student forgot to lock one of the instrument closets as she left, grumbling about her grades. The sound of a shifting instrument came from the closet as the door swung back open. Rolling his eyes and releasing an annoyed huff of breath, TJ walked into the closet to properly put the instrument away and lock it up safely, turning his back to the opened door.

Someone slid his strong arms around TJ in the closet and brushed up against his ass, tugging the door shut behind them to hide them in the closet. He began to grind behind TJ, his thick member obviously interested.

TJ knew this wasn’t Steve, the blond had said that he had a meeting scheduled after class and that was the reason he hadn’t been able to meet after the work day. And Bucky wouldn’t risk this type of affection at the school.

“You like this . . . missed me . . .” Brock reached his hand around to grasp TJ’s member and sac, fondling through the thin pants, caressing the silk unknowingly against TJ’s sensitive skin.

“Get off me!” TJ growled, elbowing back to try and hit Brock, heart hammering against his ribcage, realizing he was locked in the closet, alone, with Brock.

“Oh, wanna play dirty, slut? You have no right to tell me off. You gave yourself to me. I can fuck you anytime I want.” Brock grabbed TJ’s neck, fingers scratching against the metal collar then the leather one below it. “Getting fuckin’ full of yourself since you got a fuckin’ rich sugar daddy huh? You’ll never satisfy Rogers. He’s a fuckin’ prude. Can’t handle you. He’ll give up.” He tightened his hand around the leather on TJ’s neck, squeezing as he forced him against the closet wall, amid a clatter of falling instruments. Forcing his other hand down TJ’s trousers, ripping the material, Brock scratched at him, fumbling for his cock.

“I said, let me go!” TJ gasped out, feeling the choker cut off some of his air supply. He stomped on Brock’s sneakered foot, hearing a snap of toes under his heel.

“TJ?” Bucky’s voice sounded breathless, anxious, as it came from the classroom.

“Fuckin’ bitch!” Brock yelled and yanked hard on the limp member then tugged his hand out and slammed his fist in TJ’s face, right near the eye. He leaned in and growled, “send him the fuck away!”

“Bucky!” TJ cried out, elbowing again, trying to get Brock off of him.

Bucky pulled the door open and reached in, pretty much blindly, and dragged the shorter man from the instrument locker with a roar. He slammed Brock against the wall and thrust his arm across Brock’s throat, pushing against his neck, hard. Brock squirmed, beginning to turn purple, nails scrabbling at Bucky’s arm, tearing the flesh. Bucky was pissed, at Brock for attacking TJ, at the Admin for holding him up with stupid questions over TJ’s grading habits for some weird reason, and at himself for being damned late enough that Brock had an opening at all. “I’m gonna kill you, asshole! You’ll never hurt my brother again!”

Despite his eye already beginning to swell shut, TJ hurried over and tugged at Bucky’s right shoulder.

“What the hell?” A surprised woman’s voice cut across the room and Maria Hill stormed in, grabbing Bucky and pulling his arm so hard Bucky stumbled. Hill dragged Brock to his feet, checking to make sure he was breathing. She looked over at TJ then back to Bucky then Brock. “What the hell is going on here!” she demanded, her grip tight on Brock.

“Brock . . . attacked me,” TJ muttered, touching his swollen eye with a wince; he didn’t even seem to notice his ripped trousers.

“Liar,” Brock gasped. “Tried to kill me!” He pointed a wavering finger at Bucky.

“And you? Barnes? What’s your excuse for this?” Hill glared at Bucky hard but didn’t loosen her grip on Brock. She wiped her wrist across her forehead, her watch leaving a red scrape behind, but she ignored it.

Bucky growled from where he sprawled painfully against the teacher’s desk. “He was trying to rape my brother!”

Hill turned and looked at TJ, frowning. “Well?” As Brock began to revive and pull away, Hill shook him and growled. “You stay still or I let Barnes finish you off!” Brock froze at her threat, taking it seriously.

TJ nodded, “he - - he grabbed me from behind after shutting us in the instrument closet . . . I told him to stop and he didn’t. I asked him again and he still didn’t. So, I stomped my foot on his and then he punched me. Bucky was just saving me . . .” TJ hoped he wouldn’t have to explain that this wasn’t the first time Brock had done this, though it was likely Hill already knew about the previous attack.

Arching an eyebrow, she looked like she might not believe him, but Maria quietly listened, Brock still held in her strong hands.

Flushing brighter, looking over to Bucky and then back at Maria, TJ hugged himself.

Finally, ROTC Commander Maria Hill nodded and pulled Brock from the room. “You two come with me. Admin can deal with this.”

Bucky frowned but stepped close to his twin. “Sorry I’m late,” he murmured, glaring at Hill’s back. “Admin wanted to know why you’re failing all your students.” He gripped TJ’s arm carefully and guided him from the classroom, leaving the mess behind. He eased his bleeding right arm around his brother in a tight hug.

“All my students is an exaggeration. They thought they could get away with doing a half-assed job on their first report . . . I offered anyone with a failing grade a chance to rewrite it,” TJ’s head throbbed and he could feel the swelling of his eye getting worse. He looked at his brother, “you - - you’re bleeding . . .”

“Yeah, I explained that, too. Figured it was the same bullshit all new teachers get or all new freshmen give.” Bucky looked at TJ and frowned, worry in his light eyes. “I don’t feel it much. Only a couple scratches. You gonna be okay long enough to see Admin?”

“I’m fine . . . they aren’t going to believe me, Buck,” TJ whispered, shame and fear in his tone.

“TJ, we’ll deal with this. You keep your head up or they’ll think you’re lying. Tell the truth, be strong like I know you can be. Like Steve’s been, yeah?” Bucky offered a serious smile at his brother, eyes determined.

Swallowing, TJ nodded as they stepped into the Administration building.

Alexander Pierce, a member of the school board, looked over from where he was discussing something with the three Admin staff members. He cleared his throat and said, “I really need to go. Excuse me, please. We’ll finish this later.” And the man hurried out, without waiting for Admin to dismiss him, showing that Pierce had a great deal of authority. Unfortunately, it also appeared that the important man didn’t recognize the threat that had been pulled into the office.

Hill stopped before the triumvirate and said, “I came upon these three in the music classroom. Mr. Hammond was injured and appeared to be trying to stop Mr. Barnes, while Mr. Barnes seemed to be choking Mr. Rumlow. I have two stories claiming assault by Rumlow on Hammond and one claim of assault by Barnes on Rumlow.”

Bucky shook his head. “Yes, I assaulted Rumlow after I caught him trying to rape Hammond, who was screaming for help because he was locked in his own instrument closet and already being injured!”

The tall dark-skinned Admin member wearing an eye patch and a black business suit crossed his arms and turned his steely gaze on TJ. “Talk, Hammond. Make it good.” He, too, seemed to be unaware of Brock’s real threat, of the attack not long ago. Rumlow seemed to relax as he figured he could get out of this.

“A student forgot to lock up a - -” TJ was cut off by Fury abruptly.

Holding up a hand, Mr. Fury shook his head. “Not about anything but your condition now. How did,” he waved the hand to signal TJ’s state, “this happen?”

“I was trying to explain that, sir,” TJ said.

Bucky sighed but didn’t interrupt. Brock looked suddenly confident. Mr. Fury spoke slowly, as if realizing TJ was an imbecile. “You were in the closet? Start with getting in the closet.”

“I was picking up a fallen instrument,” TJ started, suddenly feeling nervous from Fury’s tone and Brock’s look, “Mr. Rumlow walked in behind me, shut the door, and began touching me inappropriately. I asked him to stop. He didn’t. I asked again. He still didn’t let me go. I stomped on his foot to try and get him off me and that’s when he hit me . . . and then Bu - - Mr. Barnes grabbed Mr. Rumlow. Mr. Rumlow was going to rape me.”

Fury made a humming noise, his hand going to cover his mouth as if studying a problem. Slowly, as slowly as before, he clearly said, “and how do you know he was going to rape you?” At least Mr. Fury wasn’t just cutting him off as unbelievable.

“He was grabbing me. Locked me and him in a closet,” TJ explained, getting more and more frustrated.

Fury shook his head. “Well, let me ask you something, Mr. Hammond. I walk into your office. You’re Admin, not me. I tell you that Mr. Smith grabbed me in a closet and wouldn’t let go. Does that sound like rape . . . or something else?”

“When one person repeatedly asked the other to let go? Yeah, I’d say that’s rape,” TJ said, his tone sharp and defensive.

Fury nodded. “Or it’s a straight out physical assault. Was it perhaps, Mr. Hammond, a fight rather than an attempted rape? How do you _know_ Mr. Rumlow was going to sexually assault you?”

TJ looked to Bucky, the only way Fury was going to believe him . . . that it was attempted rape, was to remind him that Brock had raped him before . . . to actually say the words.

Bucky had his left hand in his pocket, the fingers apparently trembling and spasming in the cloth. Suddenly, TJ’s phone sounded.

Fury frowned. “Well, is that an important message? Or can you answer it later?”

Pulling out his phone, TJ looked down at the screen.

The text was to the point. _‘Whr he toch u? Wht he sy? BB’_

“I can answer it later,” TJ pocketed the phone with a quick glance to his brother.

Bucky’s hand stilled in his pocket and he blinked slowly.

“I know Mr. Rumlow was going to rape me because Rumlow grabbed my crotch, he ripped my pants open and said he was going to _‘fuck me’_ ,” TJ said, eyes locking on Fury.

The head Admin representative nodded slowly. He turned to Brock. “What happened, Rumlow, that Hammond thinks you grabbed him very inappropriately on purpose and threatened to use his instrument locker as a bedroom?”

Brock went pale at such a rewording, obviously having trouble with defending against TJ’s unexpected self-defense and straight, blunt accusations. “Uh . . . we’re boyfriends?” He winced, obviously admitting his own possible sexual nature to defend his actions. “We like to play?”

“In my classrooms!?” Fury roared. “Barnes, Hammond, out. Go clean up whatever mess this man made. Come back to class tomorrow prepared to teach . . . and make your students realize just how important the arts and languages are to their futures. Go!” Fury never looked at the twins.

TJ hurried out; as soon as they made it out of the building, he body began to tremble and he hugged himself tightly.

Bucky stayed close to his brother’s side, not letting TJ out of his sight. As soon as they were outside, Bucky grabbed his brother into a very tight hug. “It’s me, it’s Bucky!” He kept holding, hugging.

Sobbing, TJ buried his face into his twin’s shoulder, ignoring the pain from his swollen, bruising eye. He clutched desperately at Bucky’s back, almost as if he were trying to meld with his brother’s body. “B - - Bucky . . .”

Unwinding one of TJ’s hands, Bucky forcibly bent TJ’s arm and touched TJ’s fingers to his collars. “You’re safe, TJ, you’re safe. Let’s go to the Humanities wing first.” He still held TJ close, letting his brother press into him.

TJ let Bucky lead him to the Humanities wing; he wasn’t full on sobbing anymore, but tears still fell from his eyes and he continued to press his body close to Bucky’s side, body trembling so bad it was hard for him to walk.

Bucky stroked his back with one hand, letting him bump and press as they walked, his other still holding TJ’s fingers to his throat, touching the collars. Finally the awkward pair got to the proper wing and made their way to Steve’s classroom. His voice traveled down the hall to them, calm and talking steadily with someone they couldn’t identify, a female. It sounded like an internet conference call. Bucky guided TJ into the room and shut the door behind them with a soft thump.

Steve turned from the very pretty red-haired woman in white business suit on the laptop screen. He turned back, touching a headset he wore. “Call you tomorrow.” He turned off the headset and shut the laptop then walked over to pull TJ into his arms. “What happened?”

Breaking down in sobs again, TJ hugged Steve tight, tight enough that it probably hurt the blond a little. He moved so fast, tucking his head under Steve’s chin that the blond didn’t get a good look at the injured eye or his ruffled, ripped clothing.

Steve held TJ close, looking bewildered. He glanced at Bucky. “What happened, Buck? What happened to my TJ?” he growled softly, instinctively.

Bucky accepted the unspoken accusation. “Admin held me up so I was late. Brock was trying to rape him again. Hill stopped me from killing Brock. He told Fury that he and TJ played sex games in the classroom, after TJ told him what really happened. Fury’s told us to come back tomorrow but had the other Admin grab Brock. It was like watching Rollin’s all over again.”

“Brock tried to . . .” Steve turned TJ more securely against him and nuzzled at his temple. “My poor, sweet TJ. My poor boy. I’ll rip him apart . . .”

“I - - I di - - didn’t want . . . it - -” TJ sobbed, breath hitching as his chest heaved, his knees felt weak.

“My good, brave boy, telling Fury what happened,” Steve cooed. “No one with brains would think you wanted _Rumlow_.”

“I - - B -- Bucky saved . . . me,” TJ stammered.

Steve sat at his desk and dragged TJ onto his lap. He made no move to do anything the slightest sexual. TJ had just been assaulted; Steve didn’t want to spook his lover. Instead, he just cuddled and rocked, Admin opinions be damned; his TJ needed love and cuddles.

The door opened again and Nat slipped inside; she stepped close to her husband and touched his trembling left arm.

He turned and pulled her against him. “Brock tried, Nat,” he explained.

“I figured . . . heard about a fight in the music room . . . assumed it had something to do with Brock,” she wrapped her arms around Bucky. Quietly, so only Bucky could hear, “people are already blaming TJ for it. Want him fired. Saying that Brock would never rape anyone . . . that TJ lied about the first attack, too.”

Bucky nodded. “Fury and Hill believe him so far this time,” Bucky said back, softly, keeping the conversation from his twin by turning to his wife. “What can we do?”

“If we can prove that Brock has a history of this type of thing,” Nat’s eyes flickered over to the man curled up in Steve’s lap before focusing on her husband once more, “we might be able to help him.”

“It means dragging back out your attack, Nat . . . and seeing if we can locate other victims. If we can find at least one male, it’ll bolster our claims.” Bucky ran his right hand through his long hair, shaking his head.

“I know,” she nodded, “do you know if they ever installed that camera in the music closet after that theft a couple years ago?”

“Yeah, not sure. They wanted to install it over the summer because of Peggy’s claims of theft.” Bucky sighed and shook his head. Carefully he turned. “TJ? Can the three of us go help you clean the music room?”

TJ nodded; he hadn’t lifted his face from Steve’s chest. His sobbing had turned into desperate mewling.

“TJ, you need to face your fear, right, baby? I’ll hold you while we go back. I promise.” Steve stood them both up carefully, holding TJ close still. He dropped a kiss on TJ’s head. “Captain will protect his beautiful, precious pet.”

TJ shook his head, “I don’t - - I don’t wanna g - - go back.”

“What if I can prove I’ll take care of you? Keep you safe, baby? Would you trust me?” Steve asked.

Finally, lifting his head and looking up at Steve, TJ whimpered again, “promise?”

Steve nodded and guided his lover to the classroom door. He opened it, pulled TJ close to his side, and walked them both out. “This proof, baby?” he cooed softly, ignoring the surprised look on Sam Wilson’s face as he passed the ROTC teacher, as well as several other teachers and some late staying students.

Nodding TJ stayed close to Steve’s side; his eye still throbbed and he could barely see out of it, making his steps awkward and clumsy.

Steve still hadn’t mentioned the injury, as if he hadn’t noticed it yet. He walked TJ towards the other wing, back towards the scene of both his attacks. He ignored any staff and students they passed, holding TJ, guiding him, talking softly, privately. And people _did_ notice, and they stared. Steve had just come out in a grand way . . . to help TJ face his fears.

Bucky followed, walking with Nat at a quick pace, intent on finding out if that closet held the video security yet. Sam Wilson dropped into line behind the foursome, frowning in worry.

At the door to his classroom, TJ suddenly froze and shook his head, stumbling back as much as Steve would let him.

Steve stopped with his lover and leaned close. “TJ, my pet, use your words.”

“I don’t - - he’s in there,” TJ hugged himself; the brunet, had he been thinking clearly, would know that Brock wasn’t in the music room, that he’d been taken by an Admin member. However, after being raped once and nearly raped a second time in the same room, TJ feared stepping foot inside that place of horrors.

Steve nodded. “All right, pet. I’ll make sure he doesn’t touch you. Stand here and I’ll just open the door, okay? Not leaving you, hold my arm.” Steve pulled away from TJ and, leaving his arm for TJ to clutch, turned the knob, pushing the door in to reveal the classroom. “Check in, sweetheart?”

TJ clutched tightly at Steve’s arm, quietly, brokenly, he murmured, “green, sir.”

“You sure, baby? You can be scared. It’s okay. When you’re hurt, scared is normal, remember? Check in?” Steve squeezed TJ’s hand encouragingly.

“Yellow,” TJ whimpered.

“There’s my good, honest boy,” Steve praised. “Don’t walk in. You’re not allowed in there until I say, TJ. I want you to take one step towards me. Look at me and step one step only to me.” Steve stood by the open door, still allowing TJ’s clutching, his other hand clutching TJ’s free hand.

Nervously, like a spooked dog, TJ carefully took one step towards his boyfriend, looking on the verge of another break down.

“Check in, TJ,” Steve commanded softly, his tone certain but loving. He ignored the surprised curiosity of Wilson watching as well as Nat and Bucky, worried and just as watchful. Others had gathered silently, also ignored.

“Yellow . . .” TJ really didn’t want to go into the room, his fear riddled brain convincing himself that Rumlow was waiting, ready to attack him again.

“Good boy, brave boy. My pretty TJ.” Steve praised softly. He nodded. “Take another step and put your arms around me, sweetheart. I need your hug?”

Sniffling, TJ nodded and took another step, wrapping his arms around Steve tightly, body trembling.

“My good boy, TJ. What’s the first lesson?” Steve nuzzled at TJ’s temple, whispering.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” he replied softly. Natasha snuck a glance to her husband standing next to her; he looked shocked, but Bucky tried to hide it. His brother was terrified and Steve seemed to be calming him . . . while blatantly showing his preferences for anyone to see.

“Good boy. Second lesson?” Steve continued, prompting.

“If TJ forgets first lesson, he touches his collar and will instantly remember who owns him,” TJ whimpered, hugging Steve tightly.

“And have you touched your collar, TJ?” Steve asked softly, gently.

“Bucky had me touch my collar . . .” TJ answered.

“And did you remember me?” Steve asked.

“Yes, sir,” TJ whimpered softly.

“So, who does Rumlow own?” Steve asked, stroking TJ’s hand then guiding it to his collars.

TJ’s fingers clutched at the worked metal and thin leather, “Rumlow doesn’t own anyone.”

“Because Rumlow’s a bastard who doesn’t deserve someone special like my beautiful good boy, correct?” Steve nuzzled again.

“Yes, sir,” TJ agreed quietly. Tears no longer fell from his eyes, and though his breathing hitched every once in awhile, it seemed to be evening out, though he still shook.

“Good boy,” Steve confirmed again. He smiled softly. “So, Captain has his arms around TJ. Captain owns TJ. So Captain won’t let anyone touch TJ who doesn’t have the right. Lesson three, only Captain can say who touches TJ. Anyone else will be penalized . . . harshly.” Steve nuzzled, dropping a gentle kiss on TJ’s temple. “What is lesson three?”

“Only Captain can say who touches TJ,” the brunet echoed.

Nodding, Steve said, “The people Captain says that can touch TJ is his brother Bucky and his friend Natasha. Did anyone else touch my good boy? Scare him? Try to hurt him? _Without_ my permission?”

TJ nodded, whimpering again.

“Who does Captain get to penalize harshly?” Steve asked gently.

“Brock Rumlow . . .” TJ supplied on a breath.

Steve stroked TJ’s hair, fingers gently carding his curls. “Does TJ trust Captain is capable of penalizing this bastard?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ answered softly.

“So, if bastard’s in TJ’s classroom, where TJ teaches children to make beautiful music, does that mean Captain will penalize bastard asshole?” Steve got to his point.

“Yes, sir,” TJ scanned the room with his one good eye and carefully took another step.

Smiling, looking prepared to rip some asshole apart for his good boy, Steve said, “point the asshole out. Captain wants to rip him apart.” Steve followed TJ closely, never letting go.

Once the two men had cleared the doorway, Natasha slipped into the room and headed straight to the closet in search of the camera. Her eyes caught on a small, black security camera in the closet. An indicator light showed that it was still recording and hooked up to the server in the Admin building. She pointed at it while looking at her husband, “dumbass picked the one place where there is a camera.”

Bucky nodded and turned to Sam. He leaned in close and whispered, “Can you tell Admin we have recorded proof of Rumlow’s attack?” His eyes scanned the room and he spotted the white security camera in the corner of the classroom ceiling. “And that one?” he asked excitedly.

Sam nodded and turned, sprinting off to inform Admin that they had a provable case of assault on their hands. Admin’s one creed was always _proof_. So with that very evidence, they had even more against Rumlow.

Natasha looked around the closet, frowning at the obvious signs of a struggle. Some of the instruments not required to be locked up in a locker were tilted and lying haphazardly on the shelves. She looked back at Bucky.

“Don’t touch anything, Nat. The less we touch, the more proof TJ has,” Bucky spoke at a reasonable tone, not hiding their conversation from TJ since the proof was good.

“He’s not going to be able to teach in here,” Natasha said softly, green eyes flickering over to the still trembling brunet in Steve’s arms.

Bucky nodded with a frown.

Steve continued to hold his lover. “Is he in here, baby?” he asked softly.

Looking around once more, TJ shook his head, “no, sir. Just Bucky and Nat.”

“Good. And do you wanna teach in this room, baby, at this school?” Steve stroked TJ’s back.

TJ seemed to consider Steve’s words for a few long moments before shaking his head, “n - -no, sir. I - - I don’t feel . . . safe.”

“Check in, baby. Check in for teaching here.” Steve stopped TJ’s panic, trying to reassure him with the calm order for a simple answer.

“Red,” TJ said softly, pressing closer to Steve’s side.

“Then Captain will not allow TJ to work here. You’re quitting. Now.” Steve scooped up TJ’s bag, dumped it on the desk and ordered, “find your own stuff. Leave everything else where it is. Let them clean their own fucking mess.” Steve sounded angry and bitter.

Natasha, hearing the unusual curse word from Steve’s mouth as well as the anger, walked out of the closet and quirked a brow as she watched TJ packing up his things.

Bucky stood looking stunned, watching as Steve dealt with TJ with orders . . . ordering TJ to quit his first job, ever . . . and then what would TJ do? “Wait, TJ? Are you sure you . . . that . . . shouldn’t you wait until you find another job at least? I’m sure you can teach in the auditorium, right Nat?”

TJ blinked, looking down at the stuff in his hands that he was just about to put in his bag. He looked from Bucky to Steve then back to Bucky.

Steve touched TJ’s collar and softly said, “the question is should you still work here, love. I think it’s bad for you to work where you aren’t safe and don’t feel safe. They let Rumlow run around unchecked. What do you want, baby?” He gave the option to TJ for Bucky’s sake, knowing that by touching the collar he was grounding his lover, showing him that Steve knew what was good for TJ: what TJ needed was to feel safe.

“I - - I don’t wanna work here, Buck. I have . . . I have money saved up . . .” TJ murmured, putting the things he held in his bag.

Bucky stepped over and pulled TJ into a hug. “I’m sorry, TJ,” he shook his head. “I shoulda realized you wouldn’t wanna be around here. I’m sorry to ask you. We should go, right? Tell Admin, like Steve said?” Bucky hated his brother being so undecided, but when Steve put it like he had, that this was for TJ’s safety and peace of mind . . . after two assaults . . . Bucky couldn’t blame his brother for following Steve’s suggestions.

“James?” Natasha called out.

Bucky glanced over at his wife’s tone. “Nat?”

“What if . . .” she looked at Bucky, eyes soft, vulnerable, “what if _we_ left?”

Drawn by that unusual look, Bucky let his brother go and walked over to his wife, drawing her into a firm hug. “Nat? Love? I thought you love it here?”

Shaking her head, Natasha sighed, “I don’t want to work someplace that continually allows rapists and bullies to run rampant. This isn’t the same place that I agreed to work at years ago.”

Hugging his wife, Bucky nodded. “Okay. Why don’t we all go home and talk about this? About all our options?”

Steve hugged TJ, ignoring Bucky and Nat. “TJ, baby? You packed up?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded; he just wanted to go back to the apartment and curl up in Steve’s lap. His eye was killing him; it still throbbed and was beginning to give him a headache.

Steve began walking his boyfriend from the room. “Need a hospital?” He’d finally gotten a look at TJ’s eye, and the swelling and bruising worried him.

TJ shook his head, “no . . . maybe just some ice? I - - I don’t want to go to the hospital . . .”

“Ice and medicine,” Steve confirmed. “We’re taking a cab home, baby, so you don’t have to walk.” He pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his bag and eased them on TJ’s face, carefully. “We’ll go home now. But if you still feel unsafe tomorrow, you’re quitting. I don’t care what anyone else decides.” He guided his lover, helping keep TJ’s pants up by holding the ripped waistband carefully in one hand as they moved slowly; it hadn’t gone unnoticed that his boyfriend had been seriously attacked.

Nodding, TJ snuggled against Steve’s side; he still trembled but overall he was feeling better. The idea of never coming back to the place where he’d been attacked twice soothed him; he’d never be safe and accepted at the academy.

Steve glanced over at Bucky and Nat, “Coming? We’re leaving now.” He kept his arms around TJ, nuzzling again. Whispering, he said, “I’m proud of you for coming here, baby. You’re my good boy.”

TJ made a small noise of agreement, tucking himself against Steve’s side as they headed out of the classroom.

“We’re coming,” Bucky agreed and wrapped an arm around his wife. He guided her out though he knew Nat was often stronger than even him. He’d never been through an assault but he could see how it tore up TJ and still lingered in Nat’s eyes. He always thought somebody should face their fears, fight back, like Nat had been doing. But, it didn’t seem to have soothed her even after years. Bucky began to wonder if he’d been wrong the entire time, pushing when he shouldn’t have.

“I can hear you thinking from here, dear,” Natasha said softly, looking up at her husband with a small smile. “How are _you_ doing, James?”

“I feel helpless and frustrated and angry.” Bucky looked at first his wife then his twin. “I can’t take away the pain and fear. Impotent. I feel impotent,” he hugged Nat close, following as Steve and TJ began to walk.

“You _saved_ him, if it weren’t for you . . .” Natasha said softly, looking at TJ and then back at Bucky, “you aren’t helpless. Getting him out of that environment will help soothe the fear and pain.” She wrapped her arm around Bucky’s waist, her hand caressing his hip.

Bucky froze and tugged her back, glaring at the end of the cross path in the corridor. “Rumlow,” he growled, warning his brother.

TJ grasped the fabric of Steve’s shirt tightly, a small whimper escaping his lips as he tried to hide himself away, eyes clamping shut tightly; he didn’t want to see Brock.

Steve held his lover tight and kissed his neck, right around the collars. “He’s with Admin,” he murmured softly, “and police. He can’t get you now.”

And Brock was - - limping while supported by police officers; apparently TJ had done severe damage to his foot.

Fury broke away from the group continuing out of the building and walked to the foursome. Frowning, he intoned, “we checked the security footage which supports our suspicions. He will face charges of assault among others. Will you need medical attention, Mr. Hammond?”

Steve spoke for TJ. “He’ll be tended, thank you, and records of his injuries provided for police investigation. TJ? Color?” Steve prompted softly.

“Green,” TJ muttered, his fist slowly letting go of Steve’s shirt, eyes opening.

“And if you have to come back? Color?” Steve asked, petting his hand down TJ’s back. His eyes were locked with Fury’s. He kept ahold of TJ’s pants with one hand and the other stroked at TJ’s waist and flank in a small soothing circle.

“Red,” TJ said, swallowing; he ducked his head, trying to make sure he didn’t look at Rumlow.

“Sorry, Buck, not waiting until tomorrow. Even with Brock being removed, TJ feels unsafe. He’s not returning. Mr. Fury, Mr. Hammond will not come back. And he will consider whether it will be necessary to press charges for allowing that man to remain despite past complaints of similar behavior. Your security is lamentable and the students and staff are not safe here. Come on, love. Let’s go home.”

Fury narrowed his eye and nodded. “Rogers, you may clean out your belongings. It is apparent you are not an ideal fit here and are needed elsewhere. Do not report to work in the morning, as you are being terminated.”

“You can’t do that!” TJ exclaimed, voice panicked as he finally lifted his head. “He didn’t - - you can’t fire him!”

Steve stiffened. His fears had been confirmed. He doubted he was being fired for challenging the security of the school; he knew it was because of his extended show of homosexuality, by holding and caring for TJ but being a man; Admin couldn’t stomach it.

Bucky shook his head, “Steve, take TJ home. Nat go with them. I’ll take care of this.” He crossed his arms and turned a fierce look on Fury, who met his gaze unflinchingly.

TJ looked at Fury, his mouth open slightly in shock; he looked up at Steve, “he can’t do that! You didn’t do anything!”

Steve said, “Yes I did, love. I protected you. Let’s go home. I’ll get my stuff later. You’re the one I care about right now.” Steve led his boyfriend around Fury towards the quad. “Nat? Coming?”

Natasha gave the Admin a cold, disgusted glare before brushing past Fury and following Steve and TJ towards the quad, letting Bucky do whatever it was he wanted to do.

Bucky waited for his family to disappear from sight and hearing before opening his mouth to speak.

  
**************

Steve helped TJ out of the cab and up to their apartment. “Nat? You coming up with us? I’m going to be taking care of TJ, but I’d feel better if you’re safe with us.”

Natasha nodded, not really wanting to be alone, and said, “I’ll come up with you two.” She wondered what Bucky was doing with Fury . . . how he’d _take care_ of this horrible situation.

Steve nodded and led them up into the apartment. “So, there’s Luna and Phil.” He guided TJ straight to the kitchenette to his favorite stool, helping TJ to sit on it. “Nat? Take pictures for me, please. I’m still fully documenting TJ’s injuries while I decide if he needs a hospital.”

Nodding, Natasha carefully removed the sunglasses from TJ’s face, who winced as the plastic brushed against the bruise that was beginning to discolor his cheekbone as well as around the eye.

Steve frowned softly, eyes worried. “TJ? Did Bucky say why he was late, sweetheart?” He held no accusations, merely curiosity. Steve went to retrieve ice.

As Natasha began to take pictures, tilting TJ’s face slightly to get different angles of the injuries, he answered, “Admin held him up with stupid questions about _my_ grading. That doesn’t even make sense . . . why would they ask Bucky about _my_ grading?”

Steve reached over to unlock and remove the heart collar then unfastened the twin collar as well. “Note that the older neck bruise under his collar was _not_ Brock, Natasha. I did that one, but the heart shaped one wasn’t me. And neither was the circles of bruises,” Steve claimed his love bite only. “And that’s one more reason you won’t be going back to that nightmare. I’m glad I will only be going to get my stuff and our checks.”

Natasha finished taking pictures, stepping back to give TJ some space. She pocketed her phone and looked at Steve.

“Nat, wanna take care of the fur babies for us?” Steve asked as he tended TJ, trying to judge if the eye socket or cheek was broken.

She nodded and began taking care of the pets; glancing over from where she was putting food in Phil’s bowl, she said, “I’m worried about the swelling, Steve.”

“Yeah, TJ, I think it might be broken. That means the hospital. I want you treated as you deserve, like my good boy.” He stroked the backs of his fingers down TJ’s uninjured cheek.

TJ whimpered, “the hospital? I - - I’m fine . . .”

“Yeah. We’ll go to the emergency room, answer a bunch of questions, get you scanned and treated, then come back home,” Steve explained, even though he knew TJ was familiar with hospitals after the last few years. But, unlike the Hammonds, Steve had no reason to want to hide TJ’s injuries; they would walk in there and anyone recognizing them be damned. It would be held against Brock for attacking a former first son if it came to that. “The more we document, the longer he gets locked away, pet.”

Swallowing, TJ nodded. He didn’t want to go to the hospital; he wanted to stay at the apartment. He knew if he checked into the ER that his Mom and Dad would find out . . . and he’d have to explain what happened, how he quit his job after only four weeks, even shorter than the club stint.

“Good boy. Hold that to your cheek, love,” Steve instructed, giving him the ice pack, covered in a soft towel. “Nat, you’re welcome to stay here and wait for Bucky or come with us and text him.” Steve helped TJ to stand and asked, “baby, can you walk down to a cab?” His being fired never crossed his mind; he’d deal with anything _not_ TJ later.

Nodding, holding the pack to his injured eye, TJ answered, “yes, sir.”

“I’ll stay here, Steve, Bucky should be along shortly,” Natasha said, straightening back up.

Nodding, Steve helped his lover up. “Let him know where we went. You’re safe in here, baby girl. Promise.” He shot her a gentle smile, eyes a determined, intense blue.

Giving Steve a gentle smile, Natasha nodded, “I know. Thank you.”

“C’mon, pet. Let’s get the police reports down at the hospital. We’re gonna get him put away where someone else can treat him like the bitch he is.” Steve slid his arm around TJ’s waist and guided him out.

**************

Several hours later, Steve carried TJ gently up the steps to the apartment. He used his elbow to knock softly at the door. “I gotcha pet,” he said to his tired lover.

Bucky pulled open the door and let the pair into their own home. He looked worried but moved back to the couch to sit with Nat. The smell of dinner cooking on the stove filled the apartment.

Steve smiled at the pair. “Thanks, guys. He’s okay, just exhausted. Bruised. The police took a report so he’s able to rest now. TJ,” he turned his attention back to his lover. “Bath time, pet. You’re being such a good boy.”

“‘M tired, sir,” TJ said softly.

Seeing as TJ never normally asked for things, Steve nodded and kissed his neck gently. “Okay. Bath tomorrow. Sleep now. I’m gonna tuck you in. If you wake and want me, just call. I’m gonna be in the living room with our family.” He carried TJ into the bedroom. Inside the room, he stripped TJ carefully, completely. He went and got the lounge pants he had bought, the black ones TJ had liked. Coming back, not using underpants for his lover, he slid the silky material over TJ’s legs and hips. “Feel pretty, pet?” Steve reminded TJ of the shopping trip the day before.

Smiling softly, fingers brushing against the fabric, TJ nodded, “when - - when did you get them, sir?”

“Ordered them after we got home and they arrived in this morning’s mail. Now, let me get your in home collar, love. You’re home now. You can rest. No more duty, no more showing off for anyone as my pet. You’re my good boy here.” Steve very carefully brushed TJ’s curls from his forehead and kissed him. He hurried out to the living room and gestured towards the boxes. “Nat? Give me the at home collar? TJ wants to relax and get out of his outdoor clothes.”

Nodding, Natasha grabbed the small black collar and offered it to Steve with a smile.

“Thanks for understanding, Nat. It helps.” Steve took the collar and hurried back to TJ’s side. Gently, sinking next to the other man, he soothed his hands over TJ’s neck, caressing softly. Leaning over, Steve kissed TJ’s fading hickey, his livid bruises. “Mine.” He put the collar on TJ and soothed it down, stroking the ring so it pressed lightly where he’d kissed. “I can remove it if it hurts, TJ.”

TJ winced softly and nodded, “m - - maybe just for tonight?” He didn’t want to _not_ wear the collar but it rubbed against his tender bruises.

“Got a different one for you then,” Steve smiled softly. He walked over to his closet and opened it, taking off his softest silk tie from the tie hanger. Walking back over, Steve carefully tied the material and slid the loose silk over TJ’s head and let it lay softly on his neck and shoulders. “There, Sir’s special tie for his special boy.”

“Th - - thank you, sir,” TJ said softly, eyes already beginning to slip shut.

“And now you can rest. This collar means resting and loving, remember?” Steve stroked the tie, not the bruises, his voice soft and warm and possessive.

“Yes, sir,” the words came out slightly slurred as his eyes drifted shut.

“I’ll leave our door open, my pet. Call if you need me. Here,” he scooped up Luna to put her on the bed followed by Phil. “Our babies want their daddy.”

TJ didn’t verbally answer Steve; he curled around the pets before his breathing evened out. Phil lay down with a puppy sigh and snuggled with his Luna and TJ, a contented dog.

Steve stroked a finger down Luna’s small head and walked from the room, door wide open, light still on. He walked over to the couch and sank onto a chair near it, sighing and dropping his head in his hands. “He was so afraid to go this morning, afraid Brock would attack him.”

Bucky winced and glanced towards the bedroom.

Natasha patted Steve’s shoulder gently, “there was no way you could’ve known what was going to happen, Steve. No one thought Brock would show up so soon.”

Steve lifted his head. “I had to make him go. I couldn’t have TJ become afraid of walking out of the apartment, could I? I think for the first time since growing up, he felt safe and secure. And then Monday came and the bubble was bursting. He was afraid I’d become afraid to care for him because they’d re-educate me back. They could’ve, too. But,” Steve suddenly flushed, breathless at the memories of how he’d thrown away everything, risked it all and lost. “But he’s worth it,” Steve said on a shaky breath. Dropping his head into his hands, he murmured, “I shoulda called the cops as soon as he showed, damn it!”

“Showed?” Natasha asked, looking at Bucky and then back at Steve.

“Yeah, during our long period, Rulow popped into my classroom. I chased him off, intending to call the cops after I got TJ settled down again, but I got so busy I never got to call. I didn’t think he’d attack TJ . . . I thought he’d have just run and hid again!”

“Damn,” Bucky repeated Steve. “Well, can’t change the past, Steve. What’ll we do now?”

Shaking his head, Steve said, “I give TJ some recuperation time then help him either find another job or something. I’m going to have to find a job soon. And we’ve gotta get counseling now more than ever, but . . .” he shuddered.

Bucky nodded softly, for once realizing that no matter how quick the romance had raced, Steve actually _loved_ TJ. At some point in the last two weeks, his best friend had fallen hard for his twin. Bucky leaned forward and put a hand over one of Steve’s. “You and TJ are a beautiful couple, Stevie. I’m glad you found each other.”

Natasha nodded in agreement, “you love each other very much.”

Nodding, drawing a deep breath, Steve said, “TJ’s delicate right now. I’m gonna need help. Some people are made and content to be house bound. But I want TJ to not be afraid of leaving whenever he wants or I want. I want him assured he doesn’t _have_ to leave, but he _can_. I’m gonna need help.” He looked at them. “I’m so tempted to keep him locked away and safe, but TJ’s a butterfly. He needs to preen. Can’t do that without an audience.”

Bucky looked at his wife, took her hand, then looked back to his best friend. “How can we help, Steve?”

Drawing a deep breath, Steve smiled wide. “Just help him feel safe. He needs to feel like walking around outside, shopping, and other normal stuff won’t end in an attack. I hate that he’s afraid of the school, but if we can keep the monsters _there_ , I think TJ will recover quickly? I think I’ve made a start with helping him face the classroom.”

Natasha nodded, squeezing Bucky’s hand, “he’ll bounce back with encouragement and love. Bucky and I will do whatever we can to help you and him.”

“Okay, gotta ask,” Bucky sighed. “How can someone _want_ someone else to make _all_ his decisions, Steve? I get a guy wanting someone to give him orders in the bedroom maybe, but it’s like you’re treating TJ like a possession in a way, and he likes it?”

Steve shook his head. “Lots of different reasons, but one of them is because you feel safe and loved and protected having someone else make the calls. It’s not just _anyone_ making the decisions. TJ can easily say no and has. But he trusts me to make decisions that won’t hurt him. And, when we’re in a scene, TJ wants to have his limits tested. TJ expects me to take him to the edge but not push him too far. It’s a hell of a responsibility and honor to be someone’s dom, Bucky. I hope he feels safe enough to tell me _’no’_. With TJ, he’s been dominated aggressively and passively his whole life. He never got to say _red_ enough. With me, I use it because he’s comfortable with it in the bedroom, so I use it outside the bedroom. It helps him remember who’s asking, who he trusts to make the right call and to believe and respect his choices. I can’t say why TJ wants to be a sub, but he does, and he’s my perfect sub. I was created as a dom to be with him, I think, even if that sounds corny and stupid.”

“Nothing about that sounds stupid, Steve,” Natasha said gently, patting Steve’s hand, “you know just what to say to make him comfortable and safe. I didn’t think he’d be able to go into that classroom, but you got him to.”

Nodding, Steve said, “that’s because he trusts me to _not_ hurt him unless he wants to be hurt. There’s a difference between pain and trauma, hurt can be pleasure. But real life danger and pain? Those are something totally different. Even if I might hit him in the bedroom, and don’t you dare judge me for that, he knows I’d never really hurt him, send him to a hospital, leave a permanent mark.”

Bucky released the fists he didn’t know he’d clenched when Steve had admitted to actually hitting TJ, reminding himself that they’d discussed spanking and stuff before. He took a deep breath. “Like I like being tied up, but I don’t want to be a prisoner for some asshole. I get it. Maybe don’t understand that kinda kink, but I can accept it, Steve.”

Steve nodded. “I will never raise my hand to hurt TJ, Buck, to scare him or in anger or anything. He’s given me the most precious gift of all, his life. And I will protect it and cherish it. I love him. I want him happy.” Steve shrugged. After a moment, Steve tilted his head to look at his friends. “Bucky? What did you do back at the school, after we left?”

Bucky cleared his throat and shrugged. “I told them that Natasha quits and so do I.”

Shocked coursed over Steve, showing quite clearly on his face.

“I haven’t been comfortable there for a while, since the attack,” Natasha admitted.

Bucky nodded. “I realized today that you were just being brave the whole time. I thought it was good to face it, take back your life and not let him get to you. But today . . . with TJ . . . I realized that sometimes, change is the better answer. That feeling safe is more important than facing down the bully?” He hugged Natasha close. “I’m sorry it took me years to see that, Nat.”

Natasha smiled and leaned into Bucky’s embrace, “I never said anything,” she looked over at Steve and said, “so, we are going to be able to help you with TJ.”

Nodding, Steve sighed. “The money won’t last without another job or something, but I’ve got enough for a few months at Brooklyn prices.” He didn’t regret the money already spent on TJ and the others.

“What if,” Natasha looked at Bucky and then back at Steve, “we moved from Brooklyn? Start completely fresh. Go to Jersey like we were talking about?”

Steve nodded. “Have to talk to TJ about it, but that makes sense. Moving somewhere less expensive would help. And Jersey’s a good place . . . for _us_.”

Bucky frowned. “But none of us have jobs. How will we get a place without proof of work?”

Steve stretched and stood. “I smell dinner.”

“Steve,” Bucky looked incredulous, shaking his head, “don’t change the subject, this is important!”

Shaking his head, Steve said, “and TJ shouldn’t be asleep when we decided it. I can wait for him to wake up before making that kind of decision. Contrary to popular misconception, a sub does _not_ appreciate someone taking his home and life away without serious consideration. That’s the kind of choice _he_ has to make. No dom has the right.” Steve headed to the kitchenette to scoop up some of the stew Natasha had set on once she’d been left alone there.

“As for jobs,” Natasha said, patting Bucky’s knee, “we are all very qualified for different types. I do not think it will be hard to find jobs wherever we go.”

Steve glanced over his shoulder at Nat. “And I’ve got a few ideas I wanna discuss once TJ’s rested. Not until then. So, let’s eat and get some rest. It’s been a hell of a day.”

Reluctantly, Bucky nodded, reluctant to give up his hard won control, though it would have been nice to let the burden fall on Steve’s strong shoulders for once.


	10. The Limits of Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extreme PTSD reaction; PTSD-related self-abuse; sex-related pain and dangerous sexual activity

A few hours later, Steve, Natasha and Bucky could hear the faint sounds of whimpering coming from the bedroom.

Immediately, Steve hurried inside on bare feet. He slid to the bed beside TJ and called, “Pet? It’s Captain.”

TJ didn’t open his eyes, too caught up in the nightmare, “s - - stop . . .” he whimpered again, writhing and squirming on the bed.

Recalling his own nightmares, Steve kept his hands away and raised his voice.”Brock! Get away from him! He’s _my_ good boy and you aren’t wanted!” Steve hoped the words might at least alter the nightmare if they didn’t break through and wake TJ.

Eyes snapping open, TJ looked around; his chest heaved and tears ran down his cheeks.

Steve hesitated, trying to judge if his lover was really awake. “TJ? Baby, I’m here. It’s Steve. You’re safe again, sweetheart.”

“S - - Steve?” TJ whimpered, looking at his boyfriend.

Opening his arms wide, Steve nodded, voice firm. “I love you, baby.”

Sobbing, TJ sat up and buried himself in Steve’s arms, “h - - he wa - - was h - - hurting m - - me!”

“I know, sweetheart. I heard your dream and knew it was the same one I get.” Steve cuddled and dropped a kiss on TJ’s shoulder. “My sweet baby. I’m here.”

“M - - make t- - them go a - - away,” TJ whimpered; had he been thinking clearly, he would realize how unrealistic the request was . . . but right then, he just wanted to forget.

“Stay in my arms, my love, and they’ll fade,” Steve promised. “You’re safe with me. I love you.” Steve kissed TJ’s temple on his good side, staying in TJ’s clear sight. “My good boy, my special love.”

“D - - don’t make m - - me leave . . . I - - I’ll be g - - good! D - - don’t make me l - - leave . . .” TJ whimpered. 

“You aren’t going anywhere, pet. Not until I say so. Lesson one, baby,” Steve said gently, but his arms held his lover close, letting TJ hear his steady heartbeat.

“S - - Steve Rogers o - - owns TJ H - - Hammond,” TJ said.

“And lesson three, pet?” Steve continued, rewarding the first answer with a kiss to TJ’s temple.

“Steve s - - says who can touch T - - TJ,” the brunet answered.

“Steve loves TJ,” Steve said fiercely. “TJ’s not going anywhere. Bucky and Natasha are here, too. Your family. The people who love you and understand you. Do you want to go into the kitchenette and see our family, pet?” Steve kissed TJ’s temple yet again, rewarding the correct answer, the bravery in saying it.

“B - - Bucky’s here?” TJ looked up at Steve.

“Yeah, sweetheart. We’ve got stew if you want, but juice if that’s tastier sounding.” Steve stood and gently eased TJ to his feet, insistent but careful. “Let’s go talk to our family, baby. We’re gonna talk about important things like work and home.” Kissing TJ, he instructed, “don’t panic.”

“I - - I don’t wanna go back . . .” TJ said softly, letting Steve guide him.

Nodding, Steve guided his boyfriend into the main room. He sat TJ onto his favorite stool then moved to sit on his own, letting Natasha get them food. Bucky moved over to TJ’s other side, the injured side, and touched TJ’s hand with his own damaged one; there was no mistaking _that_ hand for Rumlow’s.

TJ mewled softly, turning his head so he could look at Bucky, “thank - - thank you, Bucky.”

“We’ve got some ideas on how to move forward, brother mine,” Bucky said softly, nodding his assurance but not dwelling on the attack. The group would get counseling later; tonight was the time to make plans for the future, for their family. “Ideas about how to save money and stuff.”

Steve leaned over and lightly moved the tie so it whispered over TJ’s shoulders and neck but didn’t hit his bruises since it was so loose and hung down so far. “TJ? Baby?” He cleared his throat, “I was thinking about . . . what do you think of home makers?”

“Like house wives? Or husbands?” TJ looked back at Steve, tilting his head slightly. Soft music played from the stereo and the clock showed it was after midnight; TJ had slept for a long time.

Natasha pulled out a bowl of the stew and heated it up. Walking over to TJ, steaming bowl cupped carefully in both hands, Natasha passed over the stew to TJ.

Kissing TJ’s neck, on his good side, Steve wrapped his arms carefully around his lover. The sight of the pair in domestic quiet was proof that TJ didn’t need Steve to do everything nor that either expected it. So far, Bucky and Nat had seen Steve take over, but at the moment, the pair appeared more like equals. “Need some pain med, baby?” Steve asked softly, trusting TJ to judge his own pain and need since Steve couldn't feel for him. There were some questions that only TJ could answer after all.

Swallowing a bite of stew, TJ shook his head, “no . . . don’t have a headache or anything right now. Just the actual bruises are a little sore.”

Nodding Steve nuzzled once more. “Feel good in my arms, baby,” he praised lightly, telling TJ how he felt himself.

Humming in contentment, TJ took another bite; he slowly ate the entire bowl. It wasn’t that TJ normally refused to eat, he just never had that big of an appetite. However, if he _was_ hungry he’d eat until he was full.

Once TJ had finished, Steve lifted his face and took the stew bowl from his boyfriend. “More?” he offered, though by then he knew what the answer was. That didn’t stop him from ever asking.

“No, sir,” TJ shook his head.

“Good boy,” Steve purred and set the bowl down. “Ready to try to discuss our futures?” He still hadn’t confirmed what he meant by homemaker.

Sighing softly, TJ nodded. He felt horrible that Steve had lost his job over helping him after the attempted rape. He knew that the blond loved teaching and liked the students he taught. He never believed that the school would actually fire Steve for liking men . . . but he’d been wrong. Steve lost his job because of him.

“Good boy,” Steve said. He lifted his face. “Bucky and Nat quit on principle.” Steve carefully eased TJ from his own stool and onto the bigger man’s lap.

“What?” TJ stiffened, turning to look at his brother and Natasha.

Bucky sighed, “don’t look that way, TJ. Nat’s been afraid for years and trying to be brave. I finally got my head outta my ass and realized that place was gonna kill one of us.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I just hate that it took you getting hurt _twice_ for me to see it.”

Steve stroked TJ’s curls, untangling carefully as he carded his fingers through the soft tangle. “It’s done, for whatever reasons, though Bucky assures us that he’d have been fired after he laid into them. So, now we have to figure out what we’ll do.” He dropped a kiss to TJ’s lips. Even if he’d been proven right about those bigots at the school, TJ’s help had come at the gift of being able to sit like this with his friends and not be shy about his love for the man in his lap.

“But - - none . . . none of us have jobs now?” TJ sounded nervous, guilty. Even if the academy had been full of judgemental assholes, it had been able to provide financial security for all of them.

Steve nodded, not hiding the truth from TJ or sugar-coating it. Instead, he picked up his lover’s hand and started kissing each individual finger. “We did think that Brooklyn might be too expensive to live in any more.”

“You mean . . . you guys wanna move?” TJ asked softly, looking at all of them.

“Need to.” Steve offered a smile, though, turning TJ’s hand to kiss his palm. “I refused to discuss it without your input, though. This is your home, too.”

“I’ve only lived here for four weeks . . . you guys have been here for years . . .” TJ said, frowning softly. He hadn’t meant to turn everyone’s lives upside down. He’d always been the instigator of such changes, causing chaos and pain wherever he went.

“Still your home,” Bucky said, watching his brother with worried eyes.

Steve nodded, “We’ll deal with that in a moment, First, wanna discuss jobs and work and stuff.” He titled TJ’s chin carefully so he could meet his eyes. “I wondered how you would feel if I went back to school?”

“Back to school? For art?” TJ guessed, looking up at his boyfriend.

Nodding, Steve smiled at TJ. “I was going to hold off until retirement because teaching was a full job. But without a job, I have time to . . . follow my dreams?”

“That’s . . . that’s great, Steve,” TJ smiled.

“Really?” Steve let out a breath, chuckling in relief. “It will definitely mean moving to a cheaper location, baby . . . my military pension won’t cover this rent as well as classes.”

“Where were you thinking?” TJ asked.

Nodding, Steve reached over a long arm to tap at his laptop which sat close by; he’d been working on that very question when TJ woke up. “Well, there’s a job opening, for an artist in training as a restorer and purchaser, at the Met. But it involves a couple of years or so of training in different techniques for conservation? Might involve travel?”

“So, we’d travel for a couple of years?” TJ tilted his head, thinking over that idea.

“Yeah, covers living expenses for me and my immediate family while I’m being trained. Then I move to Manhattan in an apartment on museum property if I need a place to stay.” Steve smiled.

“Immediate family . . .” TJ frowned; technically he wasn’t Steve’s immediate family - - he was just a boyfriend, had no legal rights to anything Steve earned.

Steve kissed TJ’s palm and nodded, eyes locking with his boyfriend’s. “Yeah, that’s something . . .” he drew a deep breath, eyes flicking over to the other pair, whom he’d already hashed this out severely with. Looking back to TJ, “I know we’ve only been together a few of weeks, pet, but . . . will you marry me?”

TJ’s good eye widened and his breath caught in his throat, “you - - you wanna . . . marry me? You - - you’d be out, Steve . . .” TJ looked at Bucky, looking shocked.

“Baby, I think I can handle coming out to the world. I came out to the most critical audience ever today . . . and I’d do it again to help and protect you. You offered me the sweetest gift of all, giving me your trust, your heart. I want the right to always be allowed to protect you, to love you. I know it’s sudden, but when I say _‘I love you,’_ I mean it, TJ Hammond. I _love_ you!” Steve smiled, the fear in his eyes tempered by the knowledge that, this time, the worst that had happened was the loss of a job, that TJ had been right: coming out made him feel free, if uncertain what he’d do next.

“He does, too,” Bucky said softly, interrupting on purpose. “Steve’s a private, shy, withdrawn man, but he’s fiercely emotional and gets attached for life. Loyal and dependable.” He smiled encouragingly at his twin.

Steve flushed.

“Yes,” TJ said on a breath, smiling widely.

Smiling just as wide, Steve kissed TJ’s mouth, still careful, still aware of the injuries. Slowly, Steve drew back. “You sure, baby? This means becoming my husband. Means you won’t be leaving without a fight. I take my vows seriously.”

“I’ll never leave you! I wanna be your husband, Steve,” TJ grinned, kissing Steve again.

“I love how that sounds,” Steve sighed, touching foreheads with TJ. “TJ Rogers.” He grinned, “because I damn well refuse to become a Hammond. Barnes, maybe, but never a Hammond.”

“Like my family much? Don’t be shy, Steve,” Bucky snorted.

“I like TJ Rogers,” the slender brunet smiled, “when . . . when do we have to get married by?”

“We can get married at any time, choose the place, baby. I checked. They include fiancee as immediate family if the wedding takes place within three months. Or they allow for later marriage dates, but the funds for home and stuff is only half after three months until the wedding. I think that’s to make sure I’m not trying to cheat.”

Suddenly realizing something, TJ looked to Bucky and Nat. “What about you guys? Would you be moving, too?” TJ didn’t want to be separated from his twin . . . he might have just agreed to marry Steve, but he still needed to be close to his twin as well.

“I thought we’re talking about jobs?” Bucky teased.

TJ flushed and ducked his head; he probably sounded desperate and clingy, “jobs, too, I guess. What would you guys do for jobs?”

Laughing softly, Bucky shook his head. “Oh, nothing as neat as Steve stumbled upon three hours ago, but we’ve got prospects already. And since we quit under protest of questionable policies, neither of us have a black flag to our reputation. We thought, if you like, we’d tour the world for, oh, say two years?”

Grinning wider, TJ slid off Steve’s lap and hugged Bucky tightly.

Laughing, hugging his twin tightly. Bucky whispered, “so I guess you don’t mind us hitching along? I’ve already put in an application as a translator for the museum, for in the field relations, but have to wait and see.” He stroked TJ’s hair from his face and beamed. “Nat says she wants to concentrate on her other hobbies for a bit before going back to work.” Bucky looked over to his wife.

Nodding, TJ gave Bucky and Natasha a small smile, “that’s good.”

Taking a breath, Steve smiled widely, “so, we’ve got me and Bucky nearly re-employed and Natasha wants to hold off for about a year or so. What I wondered, pet, was if you wanted to get a job . . . or be my house husband?”

“House husband?” TJ mused, looking at Steve.

“You don’t have to, TJ,” Steve cleared his throat. “I mean, I can understand wanting to get outta the house, work, get your own spending money and stuff.”

“No - -” TJ cleared his throat and added, “not that I - - I don’t . . . I . . . I’d like to be your house husband,” his voice was soft.

Steve hugged him close and kissed his shoulder. “I love my TJ,” he breathed.

Bucky sighed, changing the subject suddenly before they could finish the house discussion, needing his twin to know. “TJ, you managed to hold on until I got there, so we got Brock. You were asleep when we got the call, but the cops _did_ arrest him. The school is adding to your charges against him. Steve says the lawyer he’s using said that Brock could get a very long time for this . . . because . . .” he looked at Steve and fell silent.

Steve shook his head and turned TJ’s face carefully to meet his eyes. “Baby, they installed cameras in the classrooms this summer. Not just the storage closets. Fury called and said he’d seen the footage from the first attack. There’s no audio, but he said it was obvious you were fighting to get away.” He stroked.

TJ paled, a sudden sickening dread in his gut, “oh my God . . . there - - there’s footage of that . . .”

“Yeah, TJ,” Bucky said gently. “And Fury wants to use it against Rumlow in court. Steve told him he’d ask you.”

“I can’t testify. I can’t. They’ll . . . “ TJ shook his head, looking panicked once more. “I can’t, Steve! Rumlow . . . he’ll say I wanted it . . . which isn’t true . . .”

Steve stroked his cheek, the good one, and smiled gently. “It’s okay, TJ. There’s no question you were raped, baby. Remember? You spoke to the cops and got checked at the hospital? Fury believes _you_.”

Nodding, TJ released a shaky breath.

“I’ll always take care of my husband,” Steve murmured and kissed TJ on shoulder.

The brunet nodded again, whimpering, “they - - they’ll probably bring up my past, Steve . . .”

“You’re past has no bearing on this case, pet. Being the first son has nothing to do with the academy.” Steve stroked TJ’s arm.

“Doesn’t matter - - Brock . . . he knows about how I struggled with addiction . . . he’ll - - he’ll drag us all through the mud . . . what if he says something about Bucky and me?” TJ looked panicked again.

“Brock can try, baby, but he has no proof. You’ve never done anything inappropriate to society rules out there.” Steve stroked TJ’s other arm. “And the entire country knows you struggled with drugs, baby . . . the press released the club information a few days ago. Most people tweeted that they weren’t surprised, and some even said they would be surprised anyone living as a Hammond would be sober.”

TJ’s eyes snapped to Steve, “they did _what_? Why?” He had no clue that the club had released any of his information . . . how the whole country for sure knew just how pathetic he was.

“Not sure _why_ ,” Bucky said, “but it happened and it stopped trending within two hours. It’s why I never brought it up. Said you got some drugs at a club party and wound up in the hospital. The general feeling is that you were famous, and famous people tend to party too hard sometimes.”

TJ shook his head, slipping off of Steve’s lap and looking upset, “why can’t people mind their own fucking business?”

Steve walked over to him and cupped his face, careful of the injured cheek and eye. “Baby, think carefully. The drug news spilled three days ago, on Friday. Did the Admin react as if you were untrustworthy? Did the staff or students even refer to drugs around you today?”

“It doesn’t matter, Steve! How would you feel if every one of your secrets were spread on the news?” TJ snapped.

“Don’t go there . . .” Steve’s voice dropped into a warning growl suddenly, eyes narrowing.

“Don’t go there,” TJ echoed, pulling away from Steve.

“You can’t control what the world does and says, TJ. You dwell on that, and you’re just gonna live in terror or anger all the time. Don’t beat yourself up because of the vultures out there,” Steve clarified.

“My whole life has been _anger_ and _terror_ , Steve! My whole life has been looked at and dissected! You have no idea what that’s like,” TJ turned and walked towards the bedroom, he whirled back around once he reached the hallway, “you can tell me to be calm about this all you want, but it’s not your failures and weaknesses that are blasted for all the world to talk about!” TJ walked into his bedroom, letting the door slam shut behind him.

Steve dropped his hands and frowned, shaking his head. He didn’t argue, didn’t try to finish explaining what he’d tried to. Instead, he let TJ go, angry and yelling. Instead, Steve turned towards the bathroom and walked in there, leaving the door cracked slightly. The sound of the shower started up.

Natasha looked at Bucky, “what the hell just happened?”

“I think Steve was trying to tell TJ that the public stopped caring if he made mistakes, especially two year old mistakes, but TJ got righteously angry that he has no privacy?” Bucky shook his head.

“Go talk to him,” Natasha said, “I’ll wait for Steve.”

Sighing, Bucky stood and headed to the bedroom, frowning, realizing that TJ had gone to the other bedroom, not the shared one Steve used. Knocking, Bucky said, “Teej?”

“Come in,” TJ’s voice called out after a few moments, still sounding upset.

Bucky opened the door and walked in, letting the door softly shut behind him. Walking over to the bed, he sank down on the edge. “Well,” he said then fell silent, unsure what to say.

“You probably think I’m an asshole,” TJ said softly; he was lying on his stomach, looking at the headboard with a blank expression.

“Why would I think that?” Bucky looked at TJ, surprise in his eyes.

“I yelled at Steve . . . but - - I know it’s hard to understand . . .” TJ sighed.

“Not really,” Bucky shook his head. “I’d hate to be scrutinized for every blemish, too. It’s the nasty side effect of fame, whether you ask for it or not.”

“I never wanted it,” TJ admitted, “I never wanted any of it. Sometimes . . . I wish Winifred had just left us both with George. Not like she cared about either one of us anyway.”

Nodding, Bucky sighed. “Well, at least Aunt Elaine and Uncle Bud wanted you enough to fight Dad in court for you.”

“And look how that turned out,” TJ remarked bitterly.

“Yeah, you met Steve and fell in love. Got engaged. Turned out real crappy, huh?” Bucky stretched and lay down backwards, ending up next to his brother, head nearly touching the headboard.

Sighing, TJ shifted so his head rested on Bucky’s chest, their legs entwining.

“We became lovers, which probably would have been beaten out of us by Dad if he’d found out,” Bucky added. He stroked TJ’s hair.

“He hit you?” TJ sounded surprised, though he didn’t lift his head.

“Yeah,” Bucky’s tone sounded as if he felt that was perfectly normal. “Used to hit me for smoking or drinking, that time I started the fight instead of Steve, for breaking into the school and starting a fire . . .though that wasn’t me. Later, when they caught the real arsonist, Dad just shrugged and said I probably got away with something else, so deserved it anyway.”

Releasing a deep breath, TJ looked up at his brother, “both of our biological parents were crazy, weren’t they?”

“Yup, guess so. Aren’t all parents? I mean, Steve’s dad wasn’t any saner. He used to drink himself into a stupor and wind up in the hospital at least twice a month. In the end, he couldn’t even remember Steve’s name. And his mother, Sarah, was nice, but she was big on religion and following society rules. When she found out Steve started getting wet dreams, she took him to confess in church.”

Wincing, TJ shook his head; he settled back down on his twin’s chest, “why’d I wait so long to move up here?”

“Because you thought you could make it work with the family that chose to keep you? You love them, they love you, but they’re just as dysfunctional as the rest of the world, only more publicly so.” Bucky stroked TJ’s curls.

“You know, I came up here once, just after I turned fifteen. Mom gave me the address of where you lived . . . I made it to the street and everything . . . but . . .” TJ sighed and swallowed, “I didn’t want to drag you and George into anything . . . it was shortly after I came out . . . and Dad’s affair scandal broke . . . you all were sitting at the table . . . you guys looked happy. There was a little girl? And I assume George’s wife.”

Laughing, Bucky nodded, “oh, Terror. Yeah, she’s in Singapore now.”

“Terror? Was she that bad?” TJ asked.

“Still is,” Bucky chuckled, shaking his head. “No peace in the house with her running around, bringing in guys, causing a ruckus. Dad was always screaming at her!” Bucky laughed again at the memory.

“Your step-mom brought in other guys into the house?” TJ sounded shocked; he was no stranger to parents cheating, but most of the time they went to other locations.

“What?” Bucky blinked and looked at TJ, “no, never! She was faithful to Dad until they died.”

“You’re talking about the little girl,” TJ clarified after a moment.

“Yeah, but not so little now. She’s eighteen.” Bucky grinned. “Man, that would make them turn in their graves, thinking Mom would bring guys in Dad’s house. Becca was always bringing her friends in, and she usually only had guy friends, drove Dad nuts!”

“Becca . . . your sister?” TJ looked up at his twin again.

“ _Our_ sister,” Bucky said gently, stroking TJ’s cheek. “We were twelve or so when she was born.”

“I never knew about her until I came when I was fifteen . . . Mom never really talked about you guys . . .” TJ rested his chin on Bucky’s chest so he could continue to look at his brother.

“Can’t blame her. You would have been living at the White House then, about the start of Uncle Bud’s second term, I think, when Becca was born.” Bucky smiled. “She used to follow Steve around everywhere and loudly, _very loudly_ , tell everyone she was gonna marry him and he would draw her pictures all day long while she went out and worked.” Chuckling, Bucky added, “Steve used to protest. He’d say he’d never marry anyone he could have changed diapers for.”

“Sounds like something Steve would say,” TJ smiled softly, “you know, there were times I wondered what it’d be like if you had been adopted, too . . . we coulda raised hell in the White House together.”

Laughing long and loud, Bucky shook his head, “Imagine the triple trouble we woulda been! You, me, and Dougie, the White House triplets!” Snickering, Bucky shook his head. “Dad didn’t go for that, though. Said he’d given up one son and wouldn’t give up the other, no matter how many lawyers Aunt Elaine brought in. She finally had to be content with the twin she managed to get.”

“I always wondered, after Winifred killed herself, how Mom had any standing against George,” TJ sighed softly.

“Killed herself?” Bucky blinked, stunned. “Wait . . . she suicided?” He looked at TJ.

Blinking, TJ watched Bucky, “you - - you didn’t know that?”

“No! Dad said she got sick and died. He never said suicide!” Bucky turned on his side to face his brother.

Wincing, TJ nodded, “we were barely over a few months old . . . she - - I guess, the note said she didn’t want to live without George. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

“But he said she left _him_?” Bucky looked worried, troubled.

“I don’t know . . . maybe she regretted it? Like I said, I don’t remember anything about her, and Mom and Dad didn’t really like to talk about her,” TJ rolled on his side so he could face his twin.

“She left you in Uncle Bud’s care in her will,” Bucky said softly. “I . . . I thought she hated Dad.”

“Guess not,” TJ shrugged softly, “you have to love someone a lot to die for them . . .” the smaller brunet winced at his own words.

“Or feel like there’s no hope left,” Bucky murmured. He reached out and stroked TJ’s cheek. “You really mad at Steve?”

Sighing, TJ shook his head, “no . . . I overreacted. It - - I shouldn’t have yelled at him.”

Nodding, Bucky said, “he was trying to tell you that public opinion is in your favor. Rumlow can’t spring anything on the court, because it’s already known or he has no real proof.”

“I’m an ass,” TJ groaned and buried his face in Bucky’s chest.

“No you aren’t,” Bucky countered, “you’re a scared man who was attacked. You can expect a little leeway from your loved ones.” He cuddled his twin to him, dropping a kiss on his hair.

“I’m tired of being scared, Buck. I don’t want to be scared anymore . . .” TJ said softly, nuzzling his twin’s chest, being careful of his own injures.

“Well, we won’t let it take over then. Even if you don’t want a job, we get you some hobbies, yeah? We take the bastard to court and get him a max sentence for his crimes.” Bucky cuddled TJ closer, kissing his neck carefully. “We get you self defense classes and counseling.”

“You won’t leave me, either, will you?” TJ asked softly.

“Why would I wanna leave you, brother mine? You are the best brother I could even hope to have. You’re my twin _and_ my lover.” He smiled softly. “And we were gonna tell you that we’re thinking on moving to New Jersey if you want.”

“Really?” TJ looked up at his twin, “I’d like that.”

“Steve refused to solidify the plans while you were asleep. Said you needed a voice in the decision, of course. So, ready to go talk about this? We can drag Steve outta the shower if you want?” Bucky offered TJ another soft kiss to the shoulder.

“Yeah,” TJ nodded and reluctantly pulled out of his brother’s arms so he could stand, Bucky following.

TJ walked out of the bedroom and listened, trying to check if the shower was still running. After hearing the running water, TJ looked at Bucky and then stepped over to the door which was slightly ajar. Knocking on the solid wood, TJ called, “Steve?”

“Yes, TJ?” he answered from the water stream.

“I - - I’m sorry I yelled at you . . . you were just trying to help,” TJ called again, not entering the bathroom.

“I understand. You’ve had no privacy. Even your family revealed your secrets for gain. It’s gotta be horrible never having anything to yourself, no matter how small. That’s reasonable.” His voice sounded calm, accepting.

Sighing, TJ rested his forehead against the doorjamb, “I still shouldn’t have yelled at you. You didn’t do anything . . . I’m sorry.”

“I should have made sure you got the news that they’d breached your privacy Friday when it happened,” Steve responded from the shower.

Frowning softly, TJ sighed again, not moving from his spot by the door, “the news just confirmed what everyone had been thinking anyway. It doesn’t matter. You were right. No one treated me differently at the school . . . which is kind of weird if you think about it, but,” TJ shrugged, although Steve couldn’t see the gesture.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to live so publically. I guess that’s one of the reasons you're so comfortable in public.” Steve didn’t make any other sounds except speaking around the sounds of the shower running.

“I guess,” TJ agreed with a sigh, “I should be used to it by now. It’s what comes with being a _Hammond_ , right?”

“You . . . you won’t always be a Hammond . . . right?” The last word sounded like a question, a nervous question.

“Yeah, well, depends if this really pretty blond still wants to marry my sorry ass,” TJ said with a soft smile, still resting his head on the doorjamb.

“I will always want to be with you, pet,” Steve answered, voice barely heard over the running water. “I _love_ you.”

“I love you, too,” TJ called back.

The water still ran, Steve still didn’t move, but his voice sounded a little more hopeful as he called, “really?”

“Of course,” TJ called, “lesson one, right?”

“Lesson one,” Steve’s voice broke on a soft hitch. He cleared his throat and recited, “TJ belongs to Steve to love and care for and guide.”

“That’s right,” TJ reassured, “you clean in there, yet, sir?”

“No,” Steve’s voice went so soft it was barely heard.

“No? You’ve been showering for a while . . . are you okay?” TJ’s voice took on a worried edge.

“No?” Steve responded in that same small voice.

Frowning, TJ took a deep breath and straightened; he pushed open the bathroom door to look inside.

The large blond sat on the toilet, not in the shower, and his body was curled, trembling slightly. He looked pale, hands clenched on the seat below him, eyes downcast. He seemed to just be sitting there, pale and shaking.

“Shit, Steve,” TJ hurried over, “you need your inhaler?”

Shaking his head, Steve lifted his eyes. “No,” he said softly, “I’m breathing fine, pet.”

“What can I do to help?” TJ crouched in front of his boyfriend, looking worried.

“Nothing?” Steve asked, eyes flicking over to the linen closet and back to TJ. “Just . . . guess I’m gonna be on here awhile . . .” He looked down again.

“Gonna . . .” TJ looked over his shoulder at the linen closet to see the enema supplies in plain view, “oh . . .” he looked back at his boyfriend, “why’d . . . you - - uh . . . clean yourself?”

Steve lifted miserable eyes. “Because I’m dirty . . .” his voice hitched softly.

“Oh, Steve,” TJ cooed gently, still crouching in front of his boyfriend, “you aren’t dirty . . .” he stroked his lover’s cheek with his hand. “You’re beautiful, Steve, inside and out.”

“I feel dirty,” Steve sighed and let his head hang down. “I tried to clean, but it didn’t work.”

“Steve,” TJ’s voice firmed but was still gentle.

“It didn’t make me _feel_ cleaner,” Steve said and lifted his eyes. “It never does, but . . . I can’t help it? I keep thinking maybe one day . . .”

TJ had no idea how to help; he knew he’d inadvertently caused this with his comment earlier about Steve’s secrets. He nodded and moved to sit down beside Steve, back resting against the sink, his hand resting on Steve’s knee. He winced as he shifted, his headache returning but he was content to just sit with Steve.

“I only felt clean when you cleaned me, baby,” Steve admitted softly.

“Then, I’ll clean you from this moment on, okay? Everyday if you want?” TJ offered.

Looking at TJ, eyes widening, Steve asked, “you will? I . . . I’d like that, baby. You do it right. You erase them.”

“Good. Then you just tell me when you need it done, okay? Doesn’t matter the time of day,” TJ confirmed with a nod.

Nodding, Steve seemed to slump a bit, but he continued to sit there, holding the seat below him. “You . . . you really don’t . . . that . . . there were ten . . .” Steve’s words were broken, but the idea was clear: he was troubled by the gang rape and worried that TJ was bothered, or even disgusted, by it. His panic attack this time had taken a different appearance but it was no less a symptom of the underlying trauma.

“Of course not . . . they hurt you, Steve. And I’d hunt them all down and kill them if I could . . . but I will _never_ be disgusted - -” TJ was cut off by Steve.

“I came,” Steve admitted. “I came so much, I ached and nothing would come out after awhile. I just kept orgasming every time one of them attacked me because of my damn over-sensitive prostate,” Steve finally sobbed, hard.

“Just because you came, doesn’t mean you enjoyed what was happening, Steve . . . or that it wasn’t rape,” TJ moved again to crouch in front of his boyfriend.

“I know, TJ. But I still came, hard and often. And they used that against me . . . later . . .” He hung his head again. “Said it wasn’t a real rape.”

“Well, they were wrong,” TJ said firmly, eyes hardening, though one was still nearly swollen shut, “they are stupid assholes that have no idea what they are talking about.”

“Sometimes I’m weak for a dom,” Steve sighed, eyes miserable.

“No, you’re not,” TJ assured his lover, “you’re a great dom. You take care of all of us.”

“And yet I can’t even get off the toilet,” Steve chuckled, though the humor was barely there.

“Well, that’s the medicine working, not a show of your weakness,” TJ pointed out.

“Medicine already worked. I’m done. Have been for about ten minutes,” Steve sighed and shook his head. He still trembled, pale and a bit limp.

“Oh,” TJ nodded and offered, “want help to the bedroom or living room? I can get you some water? I don’t know if we have Gatorade or something?”

Nodding, Steve licked at his lips. “Water? Please, baby? Or maybe the orange juice?”

“Okay,” TJ nodded and stood up, “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Steve nodded and hung his head, looking exhausted and weak though he held himself up with his tight grip on the seat.

TJ left and returned in under a minute with both a glass of water and of orange juice. He handed the juice to Steve and set the water on the sink by the blond’s hand.

“Thanks, baby,” Steve said, hand shaking as he released his grip to take the juice. He was thankful TJ didn’t take his supporting hand from the glass as he sipped at the juice. Steve lifted his eyes to meet TJ’s. “I’m sorry the public won’t let you have privacy, my love. I wish I could fix that.”

“It’s okay,” TJ shrugged, trying for nonchalance, “I’m just . . . sensitive today . . . it’s been . . . a long day.”

Nodding, Steve offered a small smile. “Yeah, it has. Thanks for sticking with me despite my foolishness?” He tried to laugh off this latest odd start. “I love you, TJ.”

“It wasn’t foolish . . . you thought it would help,” TJ smiled softly and said, “I love you, too, Steve.”

Steve finished the juice and reached for the water, less shaky, a bit of color back in his face. “I’m feeling a bit better.”

“Good,” TJ nodded.

It took a few more minutes before Steve was strong enough to finally stand. He cleaned up meticulously, himself, the equipment, and the rest of the room. Finally, he put things away, still lightly flushed though he looked healthier. “I’m hungry . . .”

Laughing softly, TJ nodded, “can you walk on your own?”

Nodding, Steve said, “yeah. I think I’m too big for Phil,” not leaving TJ confused about that statement, Steve gestured to the puppy strolling down the hall with the kitten back in his mouth. Carefully, Steve began to move off to their bedroom. “I should get dressed,” he murmured, not looking towards Bucky or Natasha but knowing they’d heard at least part of the conversation with TJ.

Humming softly, TJ followed close behind the blond in case Steve collapsed or something. TJ seemed to forget about his own troubles or injures when someone he cared about was hurt or upset.

Steve, nude, made it to the bedroom and sank to the bed to rest a moment, looking over at his boyfriend, dressed in the silk lounge pants and tie. “Are . . . are we still engaged, baby?”

TJ opened his mouth to say something but the sentence was cut off by a firm knock on the door.

Steve frowned suddenly, not expecting anyone at one in the morning. He stood and walked to the living room door, without thought to his undressed state, and looked through the peep hole. “Who is it? Do you know what time it is?” He didn’t mind Natasha and Bucky seeing him nude.

“I believe it’s also common courtesy to tell me if my son gets attacked and goes to a hospital,” a woman’s sharp tone cut through the door.

Steve crossed his arms, leaving the door shut rudely. “And who are you that I have to tell you anything? How do I know your son?” Steve growled low at the door, but his voice reached through it.

“Momma?” TJ tilted his head, looking at the door.

“She hasn’t said,” Steve said but shrugged. “Want me to open it. Looks like the presidential candidate.” Steve had enough that day of TJ being hurt and was willing to act like a bear if needed.

Bucky snickered, “might want him to get dressed, Teej.”

TJ stood up and walked over to Steve, he gave his fiancee a nod. “Go get dressed, I can open the door.”

Steve nodded, “okay.”. He headed into the bedroom to pull on a pair of sweatpants the came to the bedroom door, revealing himself in his rumpled, beautiful state.

TJ sighed, unlocking the door and then opening it to reveal the well put together redhaired woman on the other side. “Hi, Momma.”

With a nod, Elaine stepped into the apartment, the secret service guard staying behind in the hall. She studied her son, taking his chin firmly in one hand to carefully examine the injured cheek and eye, frowning. Sighing, she let go his face and carefully enfolded him into a hug. “I only heard a few hours ago. No one called us.”

“You’ve probably already met your nephew, Bucky, and maybe his wife, Natasha?” Steve offered introductions, still in the bedroom doorway. “May I get you something to drink? Eat? Please, sit.” He gestured to the chair he normally sat in.

Elaine looked to Bucky and Natasha and offered them a nod and gentle smile before looking at her adoptive son, her biological nephew. “Oh, Tommy, what happened? All I get is a report saying you went to the ER after being attacked at school.

“Go ahead,” Steve said, without thinking, “greet her. You know you want to.” Steve walked into the kitchenette to get iced water for the group.

Quirking a surprised brow at Steve, Elaine frowned and looked back at TJ.

“There was an incident with another teacher,” TJ answered softly.

Bucky stayed quiet but reached over for TJ’s hand, lending him support and giving him a gentle smile. Steve walked back in with the water and offered one to Elaine. “Ice water, ma’am?”

Elaine took the water with a grateful nod and then set it down on the table next to her.

Sounding tired and worried, looking like he’d spent the last fifteen hours up and worrying about a close friend, Steve turned to TJ and gave him a glass. “Drink that,” he ordered before turning to the other pair and asking, “water?”

Elaine looked slightly shocked as TJ immediately listened to what Steve ordered, taking a few sips of the water. “Is there a place we can speak privately, Tommy?” She asked, eyes flickering to look at Steve with a mixture of worry and some anger.

“You guys can use your bedroom, TJ,” he offered. “I’m gonna go check on the babies.” Steve sipped his own water. Turning to the choker box, Steve situated the heart choker properly in it’s box, adding the twin choker since it didn’t have a box convenient to store it in. “I’ll clean our room up.” Steve headed for the shared bedroom where the pets were just settling to sleep on the bed; all signs of his recent weakness were suppressed, though TJ and the other pair could see the hints of pale exhaustion

TJ led his Mom into the other room; he let her go in first before following and shutting the door softly behind him. Elaine looked over her injured son with a frown, her eyes catching on the sleep-rumpled silk tie around his neck and the fading, obvious bruises showing above the loose silk. “What the hell is that man doing to you?!”

Hugging himself, TJ’s jaw ticked and he looked over at his mother, “he’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh, Tommy, not again,” Elaine shook her head, disappointment and worry lacing her tones as she frowned at him. “Didn’t you learn from Reeves?”

“Steve’s not like Sean . . . Steve loves me,” TJ stated, a small whine in his tone.

“And didn’t Reeves tell you the same thing?” She asked harshly. “My God, you’re thirty years old, TJ. How can you keep making the same mistakes?”

“I love him! I’m happy with him! Shouldn’t that be what matters?” TJ claimed, hugging himself tighter.

“Listen to yourself, TJ! It’s a repeat of last time. And where are you keeping the drugs this time?” She began looking through his drawers. “He’s got you tied to him . . . you’re supposed to be sober, a teacher . . . we helped you get out of the social life when you asked . . . for this?”

“I’m clean! Stop it!” TJ hurried over to shut his drawers.

Elaine whirled around, looking upset, frustrated, angry, and hurt. “TJ . . .” she grabbed his arms and shook him slightly, “Tommy, baby, he’s using you just like Reeves did!”

“He’s not! He _loves_ me! He knows how to take care of me!” TJ exclaimed, slight hysteria in his voice.

“And so you’ll just jump on his agenda, like you did before? Just sign your name and let him say he’s got Hammond support for his crusade. But when he’s done with you, he’ll throw you away . . . and you’ll be hurting as bad as last time!” She shook again, “TJ think about this! He’s even got you obeying commands, like a dog! Next he’ll have you in a collar!”

“ _I asked for it_!” TJ snapped, eyes flashing, his headache throbbing with the added stress. “This is what _I_ want!”

“What?” Horror crossed her face, filled her voice. “You _asked_ to be chained like a dog to that . . . to _him_?”

“It’s a sign of his love!” TJ tried to explain something he knew his adoptive mother would never understand.

“That man is incapable of loving you, TJ! Killers rarely are.” She shook her head. “He’s got you so confused, so wrapped around his fingers, you’re convinced he’s caring for you, but he’s keeping you . . . like a possession.”

“What are you talking about? Steve isn’t a killer! You don’t know him!” TJ snapped looking angry.

Looking shocked and angry once more, Elaine shook her head, “are you always so foolishly blind? My God, TJ, open your eyes! He’s Steven Rogers. That man’s a soldier. He killed an entire platoon in Kosovo, for God’s sake, back in 2009! His damn discharge is a matter of public record!”

“He was hurt by them!” TJ growled. “You don’t know the whole story!”

She shook her head, still holding his arms tightly, “no, TJ, the story is a matter of record. That he was trapped and saved his own platoon and was so badly injured they retired him on disability, but he was court martialed for killing those soldiers. He was dishonorably discharged and given hush money!”

“Because he was raped and the government tried to cover it up!” TJ shouted, pulling back from her grasp.

“Is that what he told you?” Elaine’s anger snapped and she shook her head. “You’re such a soft touch! My God, everyone knows it. And he’s woven a tale you’ll believe just to get your favor. That choker he’s got. He’s given that to you, hasn’t he? A nice little gift of his _love_ . . . a BDSM collar, TJ! Given to sex slaves!”

“What does it matter what he gives me? I’m happy with him! He _understands me_!” TJ exclaimed.

“And he will leave you like that bastard Reeves did, and I’ll be left picking up the pieces all over again!” She shot back, shaking him again.

“He’s not like Sean! He would never do that to me! Please . . . just for once . . . support me on this? Please?” TJ begged, looking desperate as he grabbed at his Mom’s arms.

Steve merely watched TJ’s door, preventing Bucky or Nat from interrupting the obvious argument, the hateful and worried words pouring loudly from inside. He held up a hand as Bucky tried once again to go rescue his brother. Steve waited, waited for Elaine to prove her love for her nephew, the boy she’d raised as a second son, before she pushed him away completely.

Inside the room, Elaine pulled TJ into a fierce hug. “I don’t want you hurt, TJ. Can’t you understand that? He didn’t even tell us you were hurt! A reporter told us! A God-damned _reporter_ had to tell us our oldest boy was hurt and alone in New York!”

Wrapping his arms tightly around Elaine, TJ reassured, “he won’t hurt me. He helped me after the rape, Momma.”

“Rape?” She looked horrified, proving that some information hadn’t leaked to the press yet. “I was told you were attacked, but nothing about a rape. Tommy, baby!” Her eyes held misery and worry.

TJ swallowed, he figured the press would’ve told her, or even the hospital after the original attack almost three weeks ago. “R - - Rumlow . . . he - - after my first week . . . he . . .” TJ hugged himself again, his eyes falling.

Elaine lifted his face to meet his eyes, sympathy and worry, “another boyfriend who hurt you? I love you dearly, Tommy, but you have atrocious taste in men.”

“No!” TJ explained, looking miserable, “R - - Rumlow was n - - never my boyfriend. H - - He attacked me in - - in my cl - - classroom. Rumlow raped me, Momma.”

“Where are your clothes?” She frowned, referring to the empty drawers she’d seen in her brief search through that room.

“What?” TJ gaped, he’d just told his mother he had been _raped_ and her first question was where he kept his clothes.

“You’re coming home, where you’re safe.” Elaine walked over to open the closet.

“No!” TJ looked utterly panicked, “I - - I don’t want to go back to DC!”

Elaine turned back and sighed. She walked over and wrapped her arms around her son. “Of course you do. This place isn’t any good for you.”

TJ had never been very good at standing his ground against his mother’s wishes, “b - - but . . . I - - I don’t wanna l - - leave.”

“TJ, you just told me that within a week of starting here, not even a month ago, you were raped at the school. And today you were assaulted. How can you possibly want to stay here, with that man who orders you around and . . .”

“I love Steve . . . and I don’t wanna leave Bucky - - please, Momma . . .” TJ sounded miserable, though it was obvious if his mother continued to push, he’d most likely do want she wanted.

“Bucky is welcome to come join the family, TJ. He’s always been welcome to come to us. We can set him up down the hall from you in Nana’s house.”

“B - - but . . . Momma . . . I - - I like it here . . . I - - I already quit the academy . . . I won’t go back th - - there. I’m safe here,” TJ whimpered.

“Then you have absolutely no ties here to prevent you and Bucky and his wife from coming to DC. I’m sure we can find them both very prestigious positions there.” Elaine nodded firmly, as if that solved everything.

TJ couldn’t argue her logic, “b - - but what about . . . Steve? H - - he loves me . . .”

“If he loves you, why would he keep you from your family, TJ?” She hugged him fiercely once more: her little Tommy, so bright and happy . . . and then he’d turned so hurt and tortured.

“He didn’t . . . I - - I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about calling you - - I should’ve,” TJ apologized. “I - - I thought the hospital would’ve g - - gotten a hold of you . . .” his mother had always been notified any other time he’d been checked into a hospital.

Steve opened the door at that point and offered a very serious look to Elaine and his lover. “I didn’t say anything because I never asked TJ if he wanted anyone to know. I let him sleep himself out and we were just starting to talk when you arrived.” It was obvious he’d heard Elaine’s accusations, too, but he spent time defending TJ’s lack of communication. “Would you two like some more time, baby?”

TJ looked up at Elaine, pulling back slightly.

Brushing down her suit, crumpled from flight then the hugs and such, Elaine turned to face Steve. “No, I’d like . . .” she looked at her adopted son. “I’d like to meet the man you love,” she tried to offer TJ the support he requested. She still felt he was in a bad situation with a dangerous man that needed locking up. But she wouldn’t push him away with her attempts to protect him. He’d already stopped calling her Momma after his fiasco with the nightclub and the overdose; this was the first time he’d gone back to it since that bitter night. If pretending to accept this ex-soldier would get TJ to come home, she’d do it.

Smiling wide, TJ looked at Elaine, “thank you . . . Momma.” TJ looked back at Steve and then his mother, “this is Steve Rogers.”

Nodding, Elaine briefly shook his hand then dropped it. “Elaine Barrish,” she said then Elaine’s eyes welled with tears and she hugged TJ to her again. Lifting his chin, careful of the bruised cheek, she turned his head, “Have you even iced this?”

Steve smiled but didn’t answer for TJ. TJ didn’t need that right now; he needed the right to be his own man with his family. “Come on out to the living room and meet the babies?” He turned and walked back out, scooping up Luna and Phil.

The woman slowly let go of TJ and followed Steve out, the brunet following close behind with a soft smile.

Steve indicated the chair once more for Elaine, sinking on the matching chair across. He offered Luna to TJ, settling Phil on the arm of the chair so his lap was free if TJ wanted it. “This is Phil, and this is Luna, ma’am.”

Bucky leaned over to take Phil and looked back at his aunt. He looked worried, as worried as Elaine felt. He’d heard TJ’s attempt to stand his ground crumble under her strong will.

TJ sat on Steve’s lap and stroked Luna’s soft fur. He looked at his twin and gave Bucky a small smile.

Steve’s arms came around him instantly. He had just very visibly come out to no less a figure than the Secretary of State of the United States of America. He took a steadying breath and smiled into TJ’s shoulder as he dropped a light kiss there.

Elaine watched the exchange closely; she hadn’t seen TJ this relaxed, this happy since he was a child. Even with Sean, TJ had seemed happy but not relaxed. Of course, that didn’t mean she wouldn’t investigate the ex-soldier’s past, especially the Kosovo incident. She still didn’t understand the possessiveness of the relationship but as long as Steve didn’t hurt her boy she’d _try_ to be supportive.

Steve looked over TJ’s shoulder at Elaine and said, “I’m sorry you must’ve been worried to hear about TJ that way. He was cleaning up his classroom after school when a former teacher cornered him and locked him in. The other teacher tried to . . . well,” Steve hugged TJ securely, “Bucky showed up and stopped it. The police are investigating the assault and Mr. Rumlow has been arrested. TJ quit on principle, since the staff was known to have ignored complaints and warnings about that man, and he managed to repeatedly get on school grounds since his initial firing. I took TJ to the hospital because I was afraid his socket was broken, but it’s only a very bad bruise, though probably feels broken. I managed to get them to document the injury so we can use it in court.” Steve did not mention his own job loss or anything else that wasn’t pertaining directly to TJ or Bucky’s rescue. He wasn’t making this about himself in the least. She was here for TJ; that’s all she cared about.

“He tried to . . .” Elaine shook her head, eyes narrowing, “I will make sure he rots in a dark hole.”

“I can say it for you if you really want clarification,” Steve said, dropping his voice to a soft growl, but not aimed at her. He didn’t clarify though, not without direct request. TJ didn’t need to constantly hear those words. He also didn’t deny Elaine the chance to get involved and make Rumlow suffer.

“No, I understand,” Elaine confirmed with a firm nod. “He will regret ever laying a hand on you, Tommy.”

Suddenly, Steve flushed as something came to him. Softly, he said in TJ’s ear, “third lesson, baby. Bucky, Nat, and your Mom, Dad, brother, and Nana. Got it?”

Elaine frowned at that odd statement, unsure what Steve meant by _lesson_ or by naming TJ’s only surviving family. Well almost all. There was his little sister Rebecca off in Singapore or somewhere doing something with the United Nations. She really had to find out and keep track. It was shameful how she’d lost touch with her own ex-husband’s family, her _son’s_ family.

TJ nodded, nuzzling the side of Steve's neck with the uninjured side of his face. He felt happy, even a little proud of _himself_ for standing up to Elaine on Steve's behalf, on behalf of his own happiness and peace, though he’d begun to lose it towards the end. TJ looked over at Elaine, “Momma . . . Steve and I have something to tell you . . .” He knew he couldn't keep the proposal a secret, and honestly he didn't want to, he was proud to be getting married to Steve.

Steve kissed TJ’s palm, smiling at his lover, his fiancee. He met TJ’s eyes and nodded. “Yes, we do,” he confirmed softly.

She snapped her eyes to TJ, wondering what Steve had convinced her boy to do now . . . she didn’t believe TJ would be totally off the drugs, but . . . he looked so very happy in Steve’s lap. “Tell me what, TJ?” she prompted.

“Steve and I are going to get married . . .” He watched his mother closely, slightly worried about her reaction to the news.

Drawing in a deep breath of shock, Elaine folded her hands in her lap, using the vast control she’d learned over the years. She wanted to jump up and deny such a stunt, forbid TJ and drag him back home. Instead, she said, “how long have you been a couple?”

“Less than a month . . . Look, I know you think he's manipulating me or something . . .” TJ took a steadying breath.

“And how long an engagement are you planning?” Elaine asked, interrupting TJ’s typical self-defensive response.

Steve kissed TJ’s palm and said “less than a year. More like three months.”

“My God . . . what’s the rush? It’s not like you’re pregnant, TJ!” Elaine couldn’t help the outburst of shock.

“Steve is going to apply for a job working at The Metropolitan Museum of Art, but the training requires two years of possible travel . . . and only _immediate_ family are covered for living expenses,” TJ explained.

Elaine nodded and pursed her lips, studying the pair, her disapproval threatening to burst forth. Finally, she said, “so, neither of you can afford to have TJ travel and live with Steve, so you’ve decided a marriage, which is supposed to be a long term commitment, is a thing to just jump right in?”

“Momma, we understand that marriage is a long-term commitment and we are both willing to try for it. We love each other, in the end, isn't that what really matters? Not how long we've been a couple, but that we love and trust one another?” TJ looked at his adoptive mother, his pale eyes sincere and honest.

She drew her breath in deep and nodded. “Yes, that is one of the most important parts of marriage.” She leaned forward in her seat as if she could take TJ’s hands, though the length of the couch sat between their chairs. “Baby, have you considered the other parts?” She eyed Steve, “what if Steve doesn’t get the job? You won’t _need_ to rush into marriage.”

“The job allows three months of engagement before they cut the living expenses pay . . . that's why we are waiting, to make sure Steve gets the job . . . if he doesn't then we'll go from there . . . if he _does_ , we'll be married within the three month timeframe,” TJ's voice was sure, not a falter or nervous quiver. He was protecting his and Steve's engagement and eventual marriage.

Steve kept his arms wrapped protectively around TJ. Firmly, he asked, “would it be better if I approached Mr. Hammond and ask for TJ’s hand?”

Elaine looked shocked. She opened her mouth then snapped it shut, caught off guard by such an old-fashioned ideal applied to her _son_. Finally, she said, “maybe you can start be explaining to _Ms. Barrish_ about the war crime that was reported.”

Steve went pale, his arms spasming around TJ.

“Momma . . . Steve's military past has nothing to do with our _future_ ,” TJ tried to protect his lover, so obviously upset by the question. It was obvious he really cared about his fiancee, his own protective side coming out once more.

“It does if the man turns out to be a threat to you, TJ. You want me to give your decision a chance, then give my questions consideration. Respect is a two-way street. I don’t want you marrying a murderer whose crime involved killing a _homosexual man_ and his platoon.”

Head shaking back and forth, unable to believe this was happening again, that she had access to those files and the nasty rumors, Steve let out the tiniest of whimpers. He suddenly felt dirty all over again and began to loosen his arms, not wanting to pollute his beautiful TJ.

Turning his head to look at Steve, TJ said softly, “did you kill the people who'd hurt you, Steve? Is that what happened?” TJ couldn't believe that Steve would murder an entire _platoon_ of men without a very good reason.

Shaking his head again, Steve said, “no. The men I killed weren’t the ones who . . . I killed men I was _ordered_ to kill, TJ. It was a war.” He blinked shimmering blue eyes, meeting TJ’s lighter gaze. “I wasn’t capable of fighting back against those guys in my platoon. I was in intensive care for weeks.”

“Well, yes,” Elaine admitted, “the report did claim it was a group of men on the enemy side. But that it was a hate crime, nothing to do with orders. That they propositioned Lieutenant Rogers and he let them . . . use him. That he changed his mind and then killed them all when they protested his cry of rape.”

Steve shook his head, looking physically nauseous. He pushed TJ from his lap to run to the bathroom, where he began throwing up.

TJ stumbled forward barely managing to catch himself before he tumbled to the floor, he was still a little lopsided from only having use of one eye.

Bucky stood up, having stayed out of the discussion, letting the couple handle it, since stuff like this was bound to come up all the time once Steve was fully out. But this was too much, especially after the unfair firing earlier and Steve’s obvious continued traumatic reactions all night. “Aunt Elaine, he was gang raped by his own platoon. I don’t know who spread that dirty lie about Steve, but the only men he killed were trying to blow up a nursery school of refugees!” He touched TJ’s arm. “Go to him, TJ. He needs you.”

TJ shot his Mom a glare before running towards the bathroom to make sure Steve was okay.

Elaine looked surprised and a bit sheepish as she hadn’t gotten the full, proper facts before pushing that particular button. That was an amateurish mistake and had been foolish to even try. She’d let her worry over TJ cloud her judgement.

Steve knelt by the toilet, forehead lying on the porcelain, though he’d missed the bowl and the seat hadn’t been put up until after his first wave apparently. He trembled and heaved, though his face was not in the bowl.

Kneeling down by Steve's side, TJ gently touched the blond's shoulder, “Steve? It's okay . . . you're okay. It’s me, it’s TJ.”

Turning his face, blotchy, swollen, and tear-streaked, Steve sobbed, his breath hitching, before he began to dry heave again. After the wave, he looked at TJ. “I wouldn’t . . . I didn’t . . .” He was unaware that he was using the same terms TJ had used about Brock or using drugs recently.

“I know,” TJ ran his fingers down Steve's spine, rubbing the small of his back in a soothing pattern. “I know you wouldn't . . . that you didn't, sir.” So much had happened that day, TJ felt emotionally exhausted; he wanted nothing more than to go back to their bed and curl up with Steve for days.

Sobbing again, Steve turned and wrapped his arms around TJ’s waist, burying his face in his lover’s lap once more, like he had the last time he’d been so upset.

Bucky’s voice came to them. “Aunt Elaine, come down to our apartment and settle in. It’s past two in the morning. No one’s thinking straight. You’re welcome to stay with us and you can visit TJ again tomorrow when you’re less tired and he’s less wounded. That attack _did_ happened only hours ago.” The sound of a very worried Elaine sputtered to them, but there was a small scuffle and the door opened to the outside and three sets of footsteps left, accompanied by Bucky saying, “lay off, asshole, she’s my aunt! I’m not hurting her!” Someone shut the door and the apartment fell into relative quiet.

TJ ran his fingers through Steve's hair, cooing out soothing noises.

“I’m sorry, love,” he gasped out, breath still coming in sobbing hitches, “I missed.”

“Don't worry about that right now,” TJ said gently, “I'll clean it after we both calm down, okay?”

Not protesting, knowing that TJ wanted to do that for him, even if Steve felt guilty about it, the large man nodded against his lover’s lap. “I love you, TJ.” The words were simple, but Steve was too emotionally torn to think of anything else but the simple truth.

“I love you, too, Steve, so much,” TJ answered softly.

“Three weeks, maybe four . . .” he said softly, nuzzling against TJ’s flaccid member through the pants.

“What? What's in three or four weeks?” TJ asked.

“You’ve been mine for three weeks, four if you count the first week when we were so worried and not being together.” Steve lifted his face as they spoke and held one another. “Mine to love and protect and cherish. I’m sorry my protection plans went wrong today . . . yesterday. I didn’t plan on Admin being dicks.” He nuzzled gently again. “But I love you, baby. My precious love. My good, obedient, beautiful TJ Hammond.”

“I love you, Steve Rogers,” TJ helped Steve stand up, keeping his arm wrapped firmly around the blond's narrow waist to aid Steve in walking to their bedroom. Carefully, TJ moved Steve to the bed and let the tall man sink to the edge of the bed. Kissing Steve's slightly sweaty forehead, TJ said, “I'll be right back, sir. You rest, okay?”

Nodding, accepting the help and advice, Steve turned over, curling in on himself a bit as he lay there, arms tucked close. His mind rebelled at the thought of sorting through the mess, the mission, the explosion, the fear and horror . . . and the aftermath. Steve buried his face in his pillow, trying to fight the overwhelming knowledge that it happened again. He tried to help someone, someone he care about, only to have his world ripped apart. Would Elaine Barrish manage to convince TJ to leave him? That Steve’s reputation, his past mistakes, were too great for TJ’s safety? That love wouldn’t be able to conquer all because TJ would suffer along with Steve . . .

Giving his lover one last gentle smile, TJ walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He started a kettle of water on the stove and grabbed the supplies necessary to clean up the mess in the bathroom. He thoroughly cleaned up Steve's vomit from the porcelain toilet and surrounding tiles. After cleaning, TJ dumped the soiled water in the sink and rinsed out the bucket before putting the supplies back where they belonged. Just as he finished washing his hands, the kettle let out a loud whistle. TJ turned off the burner and poured the hot water in an awaiting mug with an Earl Grey teabag already sitting inside. He let the tea set for a few minutes as he checked to make sure both Luna and Phil had water and food.

Throwing away the used teabag, TJ carried the steaming mug into the bedroom and smiled at Steve. “I made you some tea, sir. Might help with any remaining nausea?”

Turning his face to TJ, fighting the tears in his eyes, Steve pushed up and accepted the warm mug. “Thanks, baby.” His tone came subdued, worried, scared. And he trembled in the knowledge that he was so weak. TJ needed someone strong, and Steve felt like he was back in high school, five foot four and less than a hundred pounds. TJ made him feel strong and brave, like he could fight the world and win, but inside, Steve was afraid of the world and had been for years.

TJ sank onto the edge of the bed and looked at Steve, his pale eyes, although one was still pretty swollen, softened with worry. He could see the fear that practically radiated from his fiancee. “If - - if you wanna . . . talk? I’m here to listen . . . if you don’t, that’s okay, too.”

Steve put the mug on the nightstand then rolled over and wrapped his arms around his lover. “I love you,” he repeated.

“I love you, too,” TJ affirmed, hugging his lover in a reassuring embrace.

“I,” he swallowed, “I feel stronger with you.” Steve looked up from TJ’s shoulder to meet his eyes.

Smiling softly, TJ nodded, “and I feel safer with you.” He wasn’t pushing Steve to talk, despite the questions that he _wanted_ to ask.

“Don’t let your family break us up, TJ, please,” Steve didn’t beg, but it was a request nonetheless. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Looking surprised, TJ tiled his head, “I would never let my family break us up, Steve.” He’d thought Steve had heard him trying not to back down with his Mom; TJ had fought tooth and nail to try and get his mom to accept them. And though her words had started getting to him . . . he had never doubted his relationship with Steve. He’d even told her that he was going to marry Steve. “What’s lesson one, sir?”

Surprised at the question, Steve blinked slowly and smiled softly. “TJ Hammond belongs to Steve Rogers.” He kissed TJ’s neck.

“That’s right. _You own me_ , sir. Now, what’s lesson two?” TJ smiled, eyes shining with relief as it seemed like the questions helped Steve as much as they helped him.

“I _love_ you, too, baby,” Steve continued to smile, feeling stronger, more secure and steady. “Lesson Two, TJ can touch his collar and will instantly know who owns him.” Steve touched the tie around TJ’s neck and whispered, “mine.”

“Your’s, Captain. I’m _your_ good boy and I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon,” TJ grinned.

“And for Christmas, we’re going to Colorado.” Steve pulled TJ into his lap and cuddled him close. “And your Momma isn’t invited.” He kissed TJ’s neck, tugging the soft silk very gently with his teeth, not wanting to damage it but sliding the silk against TJ’s skin. TJ grounded him.

“No, she’s not,” TJ agreed on a soft keen as the tie pulled gently against his neck.

“Bucky and Nat, yeah, sure, but only us four, baby. Our family. The seven . . . of us.”

“I wish we could get married tomorrow, show everyone how much we love one another,” TJ sighed softly and nuzzled against Steve’s neck, lips brushing against the skin.

“Is that what you really wish, baby?” Seve asked, smiling softly. His confidence soared with TJ’s support.

“I’d go _right now_ if anywhere was open for ceremonies,” TJ laughed softly, kissing Steve’s jaw line.

Nodding, Steve said, “you take such good care of your Captain. Thank you, baby, for cleaning up for me. I get feeling afraid and weak sometimes.” Steve smiled and lifted TJ’s hand, kissing his fingers one by one. “And now I see how come you left with just one bag and a determination to make it on your own.”

“She loves me, they all do, they - - just have a funny way of showing it,” TJ sighed, shaking his head.

“Of course she does,” Steve confirmed. “I could tell. But she doesn’t know how to let you grow up.”

“Well, in her defense, I wasn’t exactly the easiest child to raise, and the shit I’ve pulled a few years ago . . .” TJ shrugged, “most parents would have given up entirely by this point . . . but she won’t.”

“The shit you pulled was because you were in pain and didn’t have anyone you felt would understand you. That’s in the past. It shapes us but doesn’t rule us, right?” Steve stroked TJ’s check and kissed his palm. “And . . .” he breathed in and out deeply, “I’ve gotta learn that, too.”

Making a small noise of agreement, TJ nodded and cuddled close to his lover, tucking his legs close to his body.

“Wanna get undressed and continue cuddling?” Steve asked.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodding, unfolding his legs and pulling the soft, silky pants off.

Steve slid off the bed and headed into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face then came back. Stopping in front of TJ, Steve slowly slid his sweatpants down, revealing red, white, and blue lace that had a heart shaped cutout in the front, barely containing his member. Steve picked up his clothes as if the panties weren’t something unique and previously unseen by his lover. He turned and placed the clothes in the hamper, revealing a heart-shaped cutout on each ass cheek.

TJ’s eyes widened and any exhaustion he felt suddenly went away as he looked at his Steve’s beautiful body in that lingerie. “Very patriotic, Captain,” TJ purred.

Smiling, Steve posed for TJ, hands fisted on his hips, legs spread, chest puffed out, and neck straight and proud. His member, semi-erect, bobbed behind the lace, as if the shaft was framed but the head hidden and shy. “I woulda waited for my birthday, but that’s gone by already.”

“Well your birthday would’ve been very fitting,” TJ said, eyes trailing up and down Steve’s body.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to wait. I guess I love being Captain America for you?” Steve grinned.

“So, let me get this straight . . . you teach _American_ History and you were born on the 4th of July?” TJ laughed, obviously suddenly finding the whole thing very amusing.

“I taught more than just _American_ history, TJ,” Steve chuckled at last.

“You really are the _All-American Guy_ , aren’t you?” TJ teased.

“God, not _that_! Please don’t call me _that_!” Steve chuckled.

“You can fuck me into silence?” TJ suggested with a shrug, though he felt his member twitch at the idea of Steve pounding him into the mattress so hard that he lost his voice for a while.

Steve grinned and pointed out, “but I can do that without the black mail. Besides,” Steve casually mentioned, “I have two very lovely gags I can use to keep you quiet.” He didn’t think of the fact that he had just supported TJ’s reasons for talking.

Groaning, TJ crawled over to where Steve sat, and he nuzzled the back of the blond’s neck as his fingers traveled down to stroke the soft lace of the pretty underwear Steve wore.

Groaning, Steve sat up as if he’d just thought of something; he snapped his fingers. “I know! Bucky says he likes being tied up. I can tie him up, gag him, and you’ll have to stay silent to keep him that way!” He grinned at TJ. “Problem solved.” Steve rolled over and began kissing TJ’s abdomen.

“No fair! Why does Bucky get to be tied up and gagged?” TJ whined playfully.

“Well, because if I do that, he can’t get away and we can double team . . .” Steve’s eyes widened. “You tricked me!”

“Now, don’t put any ideas into my head,” TJ moaned happily.

Steve flopped down with a groan. “Oh no! He’ll kill me!” He didn’t sound particularly upset about it. “Now I have to gag you, too!” Looking up, balancing on his elbows, Steve nodded, “but Bucky’s a deadly martial artist. Nat’s been training him. So, I need to practice binding and gagging to get good so he can’t hurt me. I need to practice on . . .” Steve rolled and grabbed TJ’s hips, “you!”

“Definitely gotta practice, all the time,” TJ giggled, hips canting up into Steve’s touch.

Steve fastened his mouth over the side of TJ’s shaft. He suckled a bit, as if trying to draw a hickey from the flesh without putting too much pressure into it.

Groaning loudly, TJ ran his hand down Steve’s back, playing with the hem of the panties.

Steve groaned into TJ’s crotch and suckled harder, really beginning to raise the redness that would lead to a bruising.

“Sir . . .” TJ gasped.

Steve lifted his head, and therefore his mouth, eyes dark. “Baby? Check in?”

“Green . . . fuck - - green . . .” TJ responded on a moan.

“So, you want me to mark you there?” Steve reached over and gave TJ’s shaft a gentle stroke.

“I want you to mark me and then fuck me . . . please . . . need it,” TJ whimpered, hips canting into the air. “I need to be fucked, sir.”

Eyes widening as if in total innocence, Steve said, “wait, you want me to leave several hickeys on your erection, that will ache when touched, then roll over and let you put your bruised erection in my tight ass?”

TJ hadn’t topped in years, and the suggestion caught him off guard. Whimpering, TJ nodded but no words came out to verbally agree. He’d never really enjoyed topping, but he was willing to try if that’s what Steve wanted.

“So, if I went to work sucking and raising welts on your beautiful erection you would have to be opening me up at the same time . . .” Steve continued.

The whimper turned into a groan and TJ nodded again, cheeks flushed and eyes blown.

Steve sighed. “Oh, dear, looks like you need lesson number four.” Steve shook his head and rolled off TJ’s body, reaching for the nightstand and pulling out one of his inhalers he kept handy. He also pulled out the lube and tossed it onto the bed next to them. Taking a couple of hits in preparation, Steve put the medicine on the nightstand then rolled over onto his back, spreading his legs a bit though he still wore the lace. “Lesson number four, if TJ forgets his words when asked, he does not get what he wants.” Lifting his head to stare straight at TJ, Steve growled, “in other words, _‘Captain America ain’t a mind reader, doll’_.”

Flushing brighter, TJ nodded again and said on a gasping moan, “y - - yes, sir . . .”

“Yes, sir, what, TJ?” Steve cooed, since TJ had obeyed and used real words. Steve hated putting such a rule in place, but it was needed. He wanted to be absolutely sure TJ was up to whatever was suggested.

“I - -” TJ swallowed, squirming, his erection full and aching for Steve’s mouth again. “I . . . want it . . . sir.”

“Does TJ want Captain to bruise his erection so he can fuck his Captain up the ass?” Steve growled out, so that TJ could use less words.

“Yes, sir, “TJ keened.

“Good boy, baby!” Steve praised then pulled TJ over and around so he was kneeling over Steve’s face. “Feel free to use as much lube as takes your fancy. It’s strawberry again,” he commented before shimmying out of his lace panties. He tossed them aside then wrapped his fist around TJ’s member and leaned up at an odd angle to begin sucking a bruise right where he’d started before, on the exposed underside.

Moaning from the mixture of pain and pleasure, TJ shakily coated his fingers with the scented lube and reached over to tease Steve’s entrance with one slicked finger.

“Remember, baby,” Steve lifted his mouth, “unless you want me to finish before you get a chance to feel the pain, avoid my prostate. It’s hypersensitive.” He moved to another area to begin sucking, hard, placing his tongue in the middle of the suction to make a ring pattern.

With a moan, TJ circled the tight ring of muscle a few more times before breaching Steve, not stopping until the second knuckle. 

Steve hummed against the shaft in his lips, hips moving in appreciation of TJ’s touches. Steve lifted his mouth. “Do you want one on your head, baby?” He didn’t want to cause TJ too much pain.

“No - - no, sir,” TJ gasped out, his finger stilling his Steve’s passage.

“Good boy. You go back to work now.” Steve licked at the head, instead, lapping at the slit a bit before moving down to another section of TJ’s wonderful member. He licked then pressed his lips hard and began to suck. He had a feeling these three would be enough for a start to see if TJ liked it. So, he continued to work the latest bruise, forming plans in his mind how to keep stimulating his fiancee while he loosened Steve’s passage.

While Steve made the third bruise, TJ had managed to get the entire finger in Steve’s passage. The brunet circled his finger, making sure to stretch the blond without touching his over-sensitive prostate.

Steve deliberately helped by relaxing for his lover, his mind reeling from the sensation of TJ’s touch. He’d never enjoyed this particularly with anyone else, his nerve ends had been fairly destroyed due to all the testing. But deep inside he felt pleasure and knew TJ had found the untouched areas that remained. He finally lifted his mouth, “God . . . didn’t know that still felt good, baby,” he didn’t clarify the cryptic statement as he lapped at TJ’s sac, pressing his tongue on one ball then the other, but not sucking.

Breath hitching, TJ carefully pushed a second finger against Steve’s entrance, once more circling and relaxing the tight muscle.

Steve, true to his word, was very dull of sense around his entrance so his body didn’t fight the invasion at all. Rather, it was about halfway in that Steve’s muscles began to twitch up and down his passage. He drew TJ’s balls into his mouth, both at the same time, and hummed softly against them.

TJ keened and his fingers involuntarily thrust deeper into Steve’s passage, almost bottoming out the digits. 

Steve keened much like TJ, but he didn’t seem at threat to get near orgasm. Instead, his body quivered and fluttered in response. He slowly began to roll each nut in his mouth, careful not to hurt TJ in the process.

The brunet whimpered, the sensations almost too much. He felt anxious about topping; he’d only done it a handful of times and every partner he’d had told him he wasn’t very good at it. They’d always said he made a better _bitch_.

Steve gently let go of TJ’s sac and kissed his taint, lapping once, twice. Lifting his mouth, he breathed, “I can take a third, babydoll. Go ahead.” He began to lap at the taint again, enjoying TJ’s taste.

Obeying, TJ carefully pushed in the third finger; he wanted this to feel good for Steve . . . he knew he was a good fuck but when he was doing the fucking that all seemed to change. He knew it was because he over-thought the process, constantly thinking about the different ways to please a lover. All the choices of how fast, how rough, gentle or not, ended up overwhelming him every single time.

Steve whimpered and moaned into TJ’s taint, his nose brushing his fiancee’s ring of muscle briefly. He stroked with his fingers over TJ’s shaft, very lightly over each separate bruise, testing if it was enough.

At the blossom of pain, TJ whimpered and keened, scissoring his fingers to open up his lover’s passage.

Finally, Steve lifted his mouth from TJ’s erection and moaned out, “almost there, baby. You ready for number four?”

“Yes, sir . . .” TJ continued to stretch open his fiancee.

“God, baby, feel good back there. You found my sensors, didn’t you?” He wriggled a bit under TJ’s ministrations, keening. His fingers lightly played over TJ’s shaft, missing the hickeys at every stroke.

Keening, he withdrew his fingers from Steve’s passage. 

Steve lifted his mouth and hand from TJ’s member, letting it swing back up to hit his abdomen. “Turn around, baby, and I’ll get in position for you. Get ready.” Steve rolled over to his front and began pushing himself up onto all fours, his muscles rippling as he lifted his own weight. He presented his rump, pushing it in the air and spreading his legs to open his passage a bit. It was evident that he’d been bottom numerous times, despite his lack of stimulation.

TJ caressed his hands over the firm globes of Steve’s ass. He still felt concern over not being able to provide what Steve wanted. Topping scared him . . . the control that usually came with topping made TJ anxious.

Panting a bit, but not dangerously, Steve said, “now, try not to hit my prostrate unless you want me to finish, TJ. You’ve seen how hyper it is.” Feeling the hesitation, Steve frowned softly and lay his face along his bent arms on the pillow. “Check in, baby.”

Swallowing, pushing down his own fears, TJ said, “green,” he didn’t add his usual _sir_ or _Captain_.

“Yellow,” Steve said back and waited.

TJ stilled, looking at Steve. Yellow meant slow down, that Steve wasn’t comfortable with something TJ was doing.

Looking up and over his shoulder at his fiancee, Steve offered a stern frown, falling into his dominant mode. “I think you’re afraid to obey my order but you won’t tell me. So, I want a real check in, and next time, stop lying on check ins.”

TJ blinked; he watched Steve closely though his body didn’t move.

“Try again. Check in, TJ,” Steve softened his tone, but not his glare.

Swallowing, TJ muttered, looking sheepish, “y - - yel - - yellow.”

Steve nodded. “Good boy, TJ,” he praised. “Go get me the number four plug then bring me your erection so I can keep it happy while we talk about this, okay?” His face and tone were softened, encouraging.

TJ did as he was asked, scrambling off the bed to get the requested item. He still looked embarrassed, guilty.

When TJ returned, Steve rolled onto his back, spread his legs, and said, “plug me up, baby, so we don’t lose the progress if we wanna continue.” He offered a smile to his lover, stroking his own member as he watched TJ. Steve sensed that this was a delicate time for TJ, and probably had everything to do with being put down, like the others.

TJ carefully put in the plug and then fell back to sit down on the bed, grabbing his legs and pulling them to his chest.

Steve didn’t respond to the plug as anyone else would have, no sounds of pleasure or small movements. It was as if a medical procedure were being performed. He reached over, though, and caressed TJ’s hip. “Did you forget the second half of the order, baby?” His voice was very gentle.

“Don’t deserve it, sir,” TJ murmured softly.

“Who does TJ own?” Steve snapped suddenly, though his eyes were soft and loving.

“No one,” TJ answered.

“Who tells TJ what he deserves or doesn’t deserve?” Steve’s voice was still stern.

“Steve Rogers . . .” TJ whimpered.

“And what is _your_ name?” Steve prompted.

“TJ Hammond,” he answered on a near whisper.

“Oh, can’t wait till it’s Rogers,” Steve murmured then nodded. “So, I say I want to play with your erection. What do you do?”

“Giv - - give it to you?” TJ supplied.

“Give it to me, what?” Steve growled, knowing TJ needed the grounding of this small discipline.

“Give it to you . . . sir,” TJ murmured.

“Good answer. Now, are you not giving it to me because it went away or because you are Steve Rogers today?” Steve asked.

The question confused TJ; though his erection had wilted a little it hadn’t gone away completely.

Steve sighed and flung his arms dramatically out to his sides on the bed, letting his head fall on the pillow and his eyes close. “Basics . . . must remember basics . . . he’s really trying to learn to be a good boy . . . must give more lessons . . .”

TJ flushed and ducked his head; he still hadn’t uncurled from around himself.

“Okay, TJ, repeat the lessons you were taught so far. From the beginning.” Steve opened his eyes and looked at him, reaching over to touch his thigh, only laying a hand on the flesh lightly.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” TJ said softly, looking over at his lover, still unsure.

Steve stroked TJ’s thigh, ending with his fingers curled around the back of TJ’s thigh towards his buttocks. “Good boy. And two . . .”

“If TJ forgets who owns him . . . He can touch his collar to remember,” TJ answered, his body slowly beginning to relax. Repeating the lessons always calmed him down.

Steve stroked closer to TJ’s rear, but his fingers curved round to just brush his member from behind, one finger lightly coasting over the underside hickey. “Good boy. And three now.”

TJ's breath hitched in his throat and he let out a tiny mewl, “o - - only Captain can say who touches TJ.”

“There’s my good boy,” Steve praised, carefully stroking the member at his fingertips. He eased his other hand over to begin uncurling his lover. “Lesson four, baby, you can do it.”

Whimpering in pleasure, TJ said, “if TJ forgets his words . . . he doesn't get what he wants.”

“Very good,” Steve gently encircled his lover’s member, letting his fingers settle very lightly over the bruises. “Now breathe for me. And check in.”

TJ took a deep breath and then let it out, he repeated that a few more times before saying, “green, sir.”

“Ready for lesson five,” Steve informed him, not giving him a choice. “Lesson five is TJ and Steve _never_ lie on check in, even if it feels like it’s a correct answer. We have check in for safety reasons. TJ, what is lesson five?” Steve kept his hands very still.

Looking at his lover, the aroused flush returning to his cheeks, TJ echoed, “TJ and Steve never lie on check in.”

Steve slid closer and kissed TJ’s thighs. “My good, smart boy. Why don’t we lie on check in, baby? What if it sounds like the other might want a different answer?”

“C - - check ins are for safety . . .” TJ answered on a small moan.

Letting go of TJ’s member and moving his hands to TJ’s legs, easing them down from the curl, Steve said, “exactly right, my love. So, ready for lesson six, which is related.” Steve looked up into TJ’s eyes and said on a light, commanding growl, “TJ and Steve can always safe word out. _’No’_ is a very good answer. There is a safe word for a reason.” He asked, “what is lesson six?”

“TJ and Steve can always safe word out,” TJ repeated, he squirmed slightly, chasing Steve's kisses.

“Are you ready to talk about why we stopped, baby?” Steve asked gently, eyes still serious but no condemnation. He sat up to pull TJ into a relaxed cuddle, kissing his shoulder.

“I . . . I was nervous to top, sir,” TJ admitted with a flush.

Nodding, Steve kissed TJ’s temple, “brave boy, admitting your fears. Why are you afraid to top me, love? I _have_ bottomed before.”

“It's . . . It's not you - - I'm not very good at it . . . I didn't want to . . . disappoint you . . .” TJ explained softly, looking ashamed.

“Good boy. And why do you think you’re bad at being on top, my love?” Steve cuddled, hands lightly stroking down TJ’s arms, over and over in a soothing pattern from elbow to wrist.

“That’s what everyone always told me . . . that I make a better . . .” TJ let the sentence trail off, embarrassed by the word.

“Ah, now I understand. So, what is the first lesson, baby?” Steve smiled, gentle, encouraging, loving.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” TJ stated, looking up at his fiancee.

“So, that means that only Steve can tell TJ what is good or isn’t, correct? Only Steve knows what is good or bad for TJ.” Steve didn’t make it a question, but a solid fact. He added a kiss to TJ’s temple for emphasis. “So, does what anyone else said mean anything for TJ in our life, baby?”

“No, sir,” TJ shook his head slightly.

“Why?” Steve smiled at TJ with pride.

“Because Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond and knows what is good or bad for him,” TJ said, nuzzling the side of Steve's neck.

“You are such a good boy, TJ! So smart, you listen so well.” Steve cuddled him for a couple of silent moments, not adding to their discussion or the lessons, merely rewarding TJ with the comfort of skin touch and close cuddles. He waited for some time before he said, “TJ, are you worried you won’t make me feel good if you top? Not what someone else told you you can and can’t do. Are _you_ really worried?”

“I just want to make my Captain feel good, sir,” TJ admitted softly.

Nodding, taking TJ’s worry seriously, Steve said, “do you know what my favorite part of being a dom is? It’s taking care of my beautiful sub.”

TJ looked up at Steve, smiling softly. “Really?”

“I love bathing you and dressing you and making sure you are healthy and happy. I love holding you, it makes me feel good.” Steve slipped a finger under TJ’s chin and lifted his face to smile into his eyes. “I feel best when I know you’ve cum and are contented and feel loved.” Steve studied TJ’s eyes, still relaxed and smiling. “And if to make you happy and safe, I need to punish you or reward you or open your horizons, I know in the end I’ll get that wonderful happy full feeling by the time our training and lessons and scenes are done. Cumming isn’t important to me, pet. You are.”

The brunet looked at his lover, “but _I_ want you to feel good, too, sir. I - - I noticed you aren’t . . . don’t _react_ much . . . unless I hit your prostate . . .”

Sighing softly, Steve continued to hold his lover, still meeting his eyes with that contented smile. “Because I was sick so much as a kid and through high school, I was always in the hospital and getting tests and tubes and stuff. In every orifice. Now I have no gag reflex, kind of like a sword swallower. I also have very little anal feeling until about two knuckles in, pet. So my lack of reaction to anal play isn’t because you’re good or bad. It’s because the doctors killed my reaction to nerve stimulation with all their medicines and tests and stuff.” He stroked TJ’s cheek then reached over to lift his lover’s hand and kiss his fingers, slowly, one by one.

TJ frowned softly, “I’m sorry you had to go through that . . . it couldn’t have been easy.”

“No, it wasn’t. And it’s turned off a couple of lovers in college, even though they insisted I take bottom since they could last longer.” Steve stroked his finger over TJ’s uninjured cheek. “But, I showed you how to make me cum, give me a ripping orgasm, didn’t I, TJ? You were feisty and figured it out real quick. Literally three strokes to my prostate and I’m off like a rocket.” Steve smiled at TJ, blue eyes crinkled in amusement, no longer annoyed since TJ had already been punished for that bit of mischief. He willed TJ to remember that bath and the subsequent punishment.

Giving Steve a small smile, TJ nodded, looking slightly more confident.

Finally, Steve kissed TJ’s palm then looked up. “This topping wasn’t about you being in a dominant position, baby, and it wasn’t about me cumming or feeling sexual pleasure. I was doing this for _you_.” Steve nodded, basically cutting off any argument TJ started to form. “You have hickeys on you that you were interested in feeling pressed in such an intimate way, as a means of exploring. I knew that you can get that stimulation from topping me. You could take as long or as little you wanted to explore that feeling and knew how to get me off so I’d finish, too.” Steve waited a moment for that to sink in.

TJ nodded again, finally understanding why Steve had suggested such a drastic change to their usual positions.

“If I ever want to cum quick, I’ll tell you to go for my prostate. If you ever want me to cum, you know what to go for if your working my ass, right? Hands, toys, anything, you know that you can please me. So, TJ, what’s lesson one?” Steve lifted TJ’s palm for another kiss.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” TJ said firmly, with a nod.

“And who knows what is good for TJ? What can help TJ?” Steve smiled at the tone, kissing TJ’s palm again.

“Steve,” TJ smiled.

“And only Steve can say if TJ is good or bad. So, are you willing to try this sometime. Can be now, can be another time. But, willing to try topping for intimacy, pet? To explore your own limits?”

“Yes, sir, I’m willing to try . . .” TJ nodded, licking his lips.

“So, what does TJ want to do right now?” Steve nuzzled TJ’s palm.

“We . . . we can try?” TJ offered Steve a nervous grin.

“Good, brave boy,” Steve praised. “And because of the plug, I’m still very much open for this. How’s those hickeys?” He reached over and lightly brushed over each of the three love bites.

Gasping softly, TJ’s hips canted into the touch and he nodded, “they’re good, sir.”

“Good, and becoming a bit more erect again, love?” Steve caressed TJ’s sac and ran one finger across his taint from back to front.

Moaning, TJ nodded, his member completely erect once more, “yes, sir.”

“So, to make this easier for you, baby, since this is about you exploring your limits for me, chose my position. Any will make me happy, I promise.” Steve kissed TJ’s neck.

“You want . . .” TJ swallowed, looking confused.

“Part of exploring, TJ, is working with your words to express what you might wanna try. So . . . choose a position you wanna try with me.” Steve continued kissing TJ’s neck.

“I - - I don’t know . . .” TJ said softly after a few long moments.

“Okay, fair enough,” Steve immediately responded. “Not past the basics enough for that. I understand. So, we’ll go back to doggy like before. Gives you the best reach.” Steve immediately rolled over, TJ under him, and pushed up on his hands and knees in his typical display of strength. He grinned down at his lover below him, hoping the immediate acceptance and answer helped TJ stay calm.

TJ looked up at Steve, eyes wide; he didn’t know how he was supposed to get behind Steve when the blond trapped him in with his large, strong body.

Steve looked amused as he watched the thoughts flit over TJ’s very expressive face. Finally, he bent down at the waist enough to rub his crotch over TJ’s. “Should Captain let TJ up?”

“Yes, sir?” TJ muttered, half of him not wanting to move out from under Steve, loving the towering position.

Nodding, Steve pushed with his arms until he straightened, kneeling over his lover. He straddled TJ’s hips with his knees. “Okay, baby. All free.”

“Your definition of _free_ is different than mine, sir,” TJ smiled, propping himself up on his forearms.

Laughter bubbled up from Steve’s chest and he threw back his head, one arm crossing his chest so his hand landed over his opposite breast. Obviously any of his fears and worries were far from mind. Steve lifted one leg and shifted so he kneeled on one side of TJ’s hip. “Okay, how’s that?” He reached down to stroke the hipbone, following TJ’s curves with loving fingers.

Huffing, TJ squirmed and pulled away from Steve; the brunet began to get into position. 

As TJ got up from the mattress, Steve winked then settled back on all fours, spreading his legs a bit and planting his hands. “Ready. Now, you’re gonna give me a good time when I say, right?” he reminded TJ that he was not afraid to tell TJ to change what he was doing to please his Captain.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded and reached over to begin slowly removing the plug.

“Great, perfect. My good boy. So,” Steve’s tone fell into a low growl. “Want you to give me a couple of strokes before working on my ass. My erection is lonely.”

Dropping the hand that was going to remove the plug, TJ reached around and gently gripped Steve’s member, stroking the shaft a few times.

Murmuring in pleasure, Steve bucked slightly into his lover’s hand, letting him know that Steve very much enjoyed his touch. Nodding, Steve ordered, “okay, I want you to unplug me and begin stroking to make sure the toy did it’s job.” He reached between them to stroke his fingers down TJ’s inner thigh.

One hand still stroking the blond’s erection, TJ reach back up to remove the plug. After setting the plug on the mattress, TJ grabbed the lube again and clumsily coated his fingers once more. Three fingers easily slipped inside and TJ scissored his fingers slightly to stretch the passage.

Nodding, Steve didn’t make false noises or claims of enjoyment. He trusted TJ to understand that he would take his own pleasure when he was ready. “Good, pet,” he breathed. “Want you to work me open real good. Wanna take you in fully when you fill me.” Steve’s fingers continually brushed over TJ’s inner thighs, not touching his member.

Nodding, TJ continued to open his lover, trying to focus on the task at hand rather than his insecurities on topping. Yes, he understood why Steve had suggested this, but that didn’t make his fears go away completely.

“Okay, TJ, baby, I’m ready. Don’t touch any of my hickeys on you with your hands,” he suddenly ordered. “I want you to feel the slide in me . . . my muscles working your shaft and your love bites.” Steve glanced over his shoulder as he lowered his shoulders to more easily position his rear for his lover.

Nodding again, TJ withdrew his fingers and shifted again so that the tip of his erection pressed against Steve’s entrance.

“Push, baby,” Steve ordered, a little breathless sounding.

Immediately at the order, TJ obeyed, pushing in slowly. As Steve’s tight ass enclosed around TJ’s member, the hickeys flaring in pain as they rubbed against Steve’s walls, TJ let out a whimper.

“Keep pushing if you can, love. Unless you hurt too bad. Safe words can involve just stopping, too. Check in, sweetheart,” Steve encouraged.

“Green . . .” TJ muttered, hips pushing deeper against Steve’s ass.

“Bottom out for me, love. I wanna feel you in me deep.” Steve wriggled a bit.

Whimpering again, TJ gripped Steve’s hips, unable to get any deeper without doing so, and pushed in as deep as he physically could. The bruises on his member ached and nearly throbbed with the tightness around them, borderlining on being _too_ much pain.

Steve let out a soft keen, surprisingly. “Check in, pet,” he gasped, revealing that he either faked real well or felt _something_.

“Yellow . . . jus’ . . . just gimme a second . . .” TJ answered, his hands tightening on Steve’s hips.

“Take your time. Breathe,” Steve calmly ordered. “If you need to abort, love, do so.” He held his muscles very still, well trained in control by years of medical procedures.

After several deep breaths, the throbbing seemed to subside just slightly, still rather uncomfortable but not overly so.

Steve continued to stay still, letting TJ take the control since he was the one feeling the pain of this exploration. He kept loose, not tightening any further around his lover. “Pet, check in. Do you need to pull out? I promise, it’s okay if you do.”

TJ huffed a breath and flexed his fingers on Steve’s hips, “green, sir . . . it’s fine . . . it’s okay . . .”

Nodding, Steve stayed relaxed for his lover. “Listen to me carefully, TJ. This is very important. Do not hit my prostate or I will squeeze. I cannot control that. If this can’t be done without hitting me, you’ll need to pull out. Okay?” He looked over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

“Okay,” TJ confirmed and slowly began to ease back out but stilled once more at next Steve’s words.

“One other thing before you do anything else, baby,” Steve drew a slow breath. “Remember that you will still have to pull out completely past my anal ring when we’re done. So, you can’t get so much pain that you’ll be too hurt to do that, okay? TJ has to judge his own pain for this one.” Steve continued to look at his lover. “Is that clear, TJ?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ confirmed.

“Good boy. Now, if you were curious, how long is your erection? Longer than two knuckles?” Steve waited to see if TJ made the link to information Steve had given him earlier, that his numbness went only two knuckles deep.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, still not moving until Steve told him to. 

“Because you feel damn good right there, sweetheart,” Steve grinned. “Go ahead and start exploring your pain, baby. Just remember the warnings. I’ll just lie here and enjoy the feel of you working back there. I like feeling _you_ above anyone else.”

TJ began to thrust shallowly, everything about his explorations were unsure.

Steve hummed in appreciation, not having to fake the deeper feelings whenever TJ got to his sensitive zone again. “Talk? Tell me, how does that feel on your love bites, baby? I’ve never felt it.”

“Hurts,” TJ answered honestly, breath hitching as he thrust back in, sliding over the hickeys once more.

Nodding, not making TJ abort, knowing his lover liked some pain, Steve asked, “good pain? Bad pain? Borderline?”

“Borderline . . .” TJ nodded.

“Good boy. Good answer. So, is this something you want to do in the future? Or is it something we should avoid? Just the hickeys, not sex?” Steve looked back, smiling to reassure his lover.

“Yeah . . . not sure this is a repeat,” TJ answered.

“Okay, pull out, baby. Don’t worry, I’ve got hands to stimulate your hickeys.” He grinned.

Immediately pulling out, TJ looked at Steve, “sorry, sir . . .”

“Sorry? For what? You did everything I wanted. You’ve been a very good, brave boy, TJ. Talk to me. What’s wrong?” Steve turned to lie on his back and held out his arms to signal he wanted to cuddle.

Curling up against Steve’s side, TJ ran his fingers up and down the blond’s firm chest, “still felt nervous, sir . . . and then the pain didn’t help this time . . .” TJ answered his fiancee honestly.

Nodding, Steve said, “okay, I can help with both.” He lightly, very lightly, stroked over TJ’s underside hickey. Delighting at the noises his lover made, Steve kissed his forehead. “It’s fine being nervous. I felt no discomfort or pain, so things were good for me. So, nerves are fine right? Part of learning and exploring.”

“Right,” TJ agreed with a nod.

“Only practice and long familiarity gets rid of nerves. This was a first.” Steve kissed TJ’s temple and smiled softly. “And we learned that too tight a pain is not something you like on your erection. That’s good to know. We’re finding our limits. You trust me to help you find those limits, and that makes me feel like strutting around like a stray cat.” He grinned.

“And . . .” TJ flushed, still running his fingers over Steve’s skin, “I’m not sure the hickeys . . . down there are a repeat, sir . . .”

“Good to know.” He nodded. “Thank you for being brave enough to try, love.” Steve tilted TJ’s face with one finger under his chin. “Do you regret trying?”

“No, because than I’d never know if I liked it or not,” TJ said, looking at Steve.

“So, do you want me to stop touching the bruises I made, baby? Because I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or in the wrong pain.” Steve smiled in encouragement, loving that they could talk about these scenes, these attempts.

After releasing a shaky breath, TJ nodded, “yes, sir . . . doesn’t feel good . . .”

Nodding, Steve made sure he kept his hands above waist at that, letting TJ’s member rest and recover. “So, we learned something even more important, baby. Lesson six.”

“We can say no,” TJ said, nuzzling Steve’s chest, his erection already beginning to wilt away.

“Because we have a safeword for a reason. I’d say this was a red situation, and we didn’t realize it.” Steve looked down at TJ. “You know that I can only judge your pain tolerance if you tell me what’s still good. So, now we know why six is so important?” He smiled, not casting blame, rather encouraging TJ to voice his limits.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, stifling a yawn with one of his hands.

Steve cuddled. ”Sleep in a moment, baby. Water first.” He sat up and reached for the water bottles he’d begun keeping on the nightstand. Warm water was better than no water. Steve uncapped the bottle and offered it to his lover. “You sweated a lot, baby, and the pre-cum. Need to replace your fluids.”

TJ huffed a grumpy, tired breath, sounding a little like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Rule number one,” Steve ordered, holding out the water bottle.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” TJ murmured, sitting up with a sleepy frown.

“Drink your water so I don’t have to take you to the hospital and tell them you got dehydrated while fucking me, baby.” Steve offered the bottle a last time.

TJ took the water and sipped at it.

Nodding, satisfied after a few sips, Steve took it back and drank down some himself. He capped and stowed the bottle then laid down and held out his arms. “Cuddles?”

Sighing contentedly, TJ nodded and curled back up against Steve’s side, his uninjured side of his face resting on the blond’s chest.

Steve wrapped his arms around his fiancee with a delighted, tired sigh, content to sleep through as long as they both needed.


	11. Interventions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Discussion of suicide and post-traumatic events, family arguments

Three days passed before Elaine got to see TJ again. Both lovers had spent the time sleeping, cuddling, and barely pulling out of bed to tend themselves and their pets. Outside, the world spun on, but in the apartment, Steve and TJ remained in a cocoon of safe, deliberate avoidance. By the time Friday came around, Steve felt a bit restless, though he contentedly left his fiancee napping. They hadn’t done anything sexual since the last experiment; TJ needed to heal most importantly, and the pair had been exhausted.

Sitting at the kitchen island, animals tended and playing in a rough pounce game at his feet, Steve, dressed in sweatpants and no shirt, had his knot tying book open and he worked on a slip knot, over and over. Sitting beside him were a tall glass of orange juice, half finished, and another of skim milk, almost gone. He had also almost eaten two entire oranges, just a couple of slices remaining to balance out the peels on the plate. He hummed along with the stereo in the living room.

Several minutes later, TJ shuffled out of the bedroom wearing only a pair of those silky pants, these a deep green, and the rumpled silk tie. The swelling on his eye had gone away completely, but the bruise looked almost worse as it healed, a deep purple, almost black color that circled his eye and faded down into his cheekbone and temple. And the bruises on his neck fared no better, deep purple bruising surrounding his neck and the heart shaped one from Steve's collar.

Glancing over, Steve smiled wider. His eyes roved over his boyfriend’s form. “Damn sexy in my tie and pants, baby.” He knew the lounge pants would never fit his own form, but he liked claiming possession of what he provided TJ because TJ liked it. “Want something for breakfast?”

Smiling, TJ walked into the kitchenette and poured himself some coffee; peering over, TJ quirked a brow, “practicing knots, sir?”

“This one’s a slip knot,” he confirmed. “If done right, it can be untied with a flick of the wrist. We’ll need to perfect the tying and the flick to be able to use it. It’ll be an added safety when we start tying each other up.” He reached over to grab his orange juice and take a long drink. Setting the glass down, Steve popped another orange slice in his mouth and wiped his fingers on a handy wet cloth nearby. “Got some messages on your phone, baby, but I ignored it when it rang. Didn’t want to wake you.”

“Probably just Momma,” TJ grumbled.

Laughing softly, Steve nodded. “Probably. Got a few from Bucky on mine saying she wanted to talk when you were up to it. He hinted she thinks you’re purposely avoiding her.” Steve grinned at TJ. “And Bucky went back to the academy and cleared out our things so we don’t have to go get them.”

Picking up his phone, TJ quickly glanced over the messages, most were from his Mom, some were from Bucky, and one was from his adoptive brother Doug. Making a surprised noise, TJ looked up at Steve, “Dougie and Anne are coming up for a couple days . . .” it was almost like Steve’s statement hadn’t quite registered with the surprising news.

“I’d love to meet them. Should I add Anne to the touch list, pet?” Steve smiled, looking up.

“Yes, please?” TJ nodded.

“Did you know you have a little sister, Rebecca? She’s in Singapore, according to Bucky.” Steve continued to watch TJ.

“Yeah, I've never met her though,” TJ smiled softly, “I'd like to one day.”

“Yeah, George remarried when Bucky was about ten, about the time I met them. Becca was born the next year. When George got in the car accident, his wife, Sylvia, and Bucky were in the car, but Becca was sick at home with a babysitter.” He turned to face his lover, the practice rope still in his hands. “She’d be nineteen now.

“Why is she in Singapore if she’s only nineteen?” TJ balked; nineteen seemed awful young to be traveling the world alone.

Laughing, Steve shook his head. “She signed up for some kind of United Nations program through college, TJ. She wants to unite the world. A crusader, your baby sister. I’ve got a picture on my phone if you want, but it’s from high school grad, so it’s a couple years old.”

“Why wouldn’t anyone tell me that she’d joined some United Nations thing?” TJ asked.

The smile dropped away and Steve shook his head. “I can’t answer for anyone else, but Bucky said he’d mentioned it and never got a response. He never said _who_ he mentioned it to.”

“That . . . that doesn’t make any sense . . . I mean - - sure, I was high a lot but - - I would’ve remembered something like that, right?” TJ looked confused.

“Maybe you can ask Elaine? She’s still at Bucky’s place, waiting to see you again.” Steve reached over to grab his milk and finish it off.

TJ nodded, running his long fingers through his hair. “Maybe I should,” he shook his head and sighed, “I just don’t understand why’d they keep something like that from me? Why would Momma care if I knew about Becca traveling?” TJ could remember clearly when Elaine sat him down three weeks after the deadly car accident; he’d never gotten to know his own biological father very well, had only met him a few times, but he’d been so _mad_ that no one had told him his father had died. People always seemed to withhold information from him to _protect_ him, like he couldn’t handle bad news . . . that they had to shelter him from all the bad.

“Not sure why anyone would keep that from you. Maybe because George was pretty free with the beatings when he was drinking? Or maybe because you had so much else going on?” Steve ate his last slice of orange and finished off his orange juice. He reached over one foot to stroke at Phil’s fur, distracting the puppy at a crucial time and allowing Luna to get a really good pounce in. Phil yelped and wrestled back, but he didn’t bite his playmate.

“I wouldn’t know, I only got to meet him a few times, at holiday gatherings and whatnot,” TJ chewed his bottom lip and then drank down the last of his coffee. The brunet turned and rinsed out the mug before putting it in the dishwasher. “You think Momma knew about George hitting Bucky?” TJ asked softly, feeling guilty; his parents had never raised a hand to him . . . to know that Bucky, and the little sister he’d never met, were victims of abuse made his skin crawl. TJ didn’t think his mother would let the abuse go on had she known about it.

Steve carried his two glasses over to rinse and set inside the dishwasher, leaning close and kissing TJ’s shoulder. “After Sylvia and Becca came along, George gave up drinking, TJ. He only hit Bucky when he was small.” Shaking his head with a frown, Steve added, “not a good excuse, and he shouldn’t have ever done it, but Becca never got hit.” He headed back for his plate. Steve didn’t feel in any particular hurry so didn’t make an effort to carry everything at once, though he easily could have. “Want to invite her up to meet, baby?”

“But . . . Bucky told me George hit him if he caught Bucky drinking or smoking . . . or after some incident at the high school involving a fire?” TJ rubbed his uninjured eye and picked up his phone once more, frowning at the cracked and shattered screen; he’d have to get a new one soon. The phone had been acting weird and glitchy ever since he’d dropped it.

“Oh, yeah, that was his method of disciplining Bucky if Bucky went and did something George thought was dangerous or illegal. But, even though it was harsh, Bucky never did repeat things like that. Steve frowned suddenly. Slowly he said, “I remember that fire. In the auto shop. Some kids must’ve started it after classes, while me and Bucky were in the art room trying to work on his mural for his project. I don’t remember Bucky being hit for _that_ , though.” Steve shook his head, wondering just how much Bucky hadn’t let on to even his best friend.

“I guess George told Bucky, after his name had been cleared, that he’d probably gotten away with _something_ so deserved the beating anyway,” TJ frowned; he didn’t like idea of his brother being beaten.

Shuddering, Steve slowly nodded. “God, I had forgotten about that. I,” he looked at his big hands, tangling them together, “that was the day after I told Bucky that I wasn’t sure if I liked girls or if I liked guys.” His eyes took on a faraway glaze, looking back into that confusing, overwhelming time of puberty.

“So, you wouldn’t have known because you and Bucky weren’t talking much right then,” TJ nodded his understanding. He quickly unlocked the phone and sent a text to his mom to say that if she still wanted to talk she could come up to the apartment.

Nodding, Steve heaved a sigh and drew back to the present. “Yeah, we had a few bad weeks right then. I guess it never came up later.” Steve sighed. “I’ll get my shirt on. You want another outfit, baby? I’m thinking something shimmery to go with your lounge pants at the least.” He kissed TJ’s shoulder again, trying to bring a bit of lightness back to the morning.

“Whatever you want, Steve,” TJ mumbled distractedly, still looking down at his phone, now texting his adoptive brother Doug, asking him when he was coming to New York. His mind still wandering to his twin, he prayed that the beating hadn’t been an everyday thing . . . he hated the thought of Bucky being hurt and hiding it, even from his best friend.

“Good, he still knows his basics. I want you dressed in a soft, shimmery green shirt to go with your pants, but bare feet. Because you’re domestic today.” Steve didn’t interrupt TJ’s texting. Insead he headed for the bedroom so he could locate the shirt he envisioned, as well as getting on a shirt of his own. Walking back out, carrying TJ’s shirt, Steve stopped to watch his boyfriend. “TJ . . .” he called.

Looking up, TJ tilted his head as he watched his fiancee, “yes, sir?”

“My god, you are beautiful!” Steve answered with a grin.

“Will be once all this damn bruising goes away,” TJ grumbled, placing his phone back on the counter as he waited for Doug to reply.

“Will your concealer work on it?” Steve asked, stepping over Luna as he approached. He offered TJ his shirt.

Taking the shirt, TJ slipped the soft fabric over his head and smoothed it down. “A little . . . but they are still pretty tender and since I’m not going out or anything, there’s no need.”

“Unless it makes you feel better, no there isn’t, baby. I think you’re beautiful anyway. More beautiful if I had put that there, and you’d enjoyed it, but still _my_ beautiful TJ.” Steve kissed his lover’s good cheek then trailed down to capture his mouth. “I love you, TJ Hammond.”

Smiling into the kiss, TJ said, “I love you, Steve Rogers.”

A knock on the door came, firm and sure, at the same time TJ’s phone buzzed with an answering text. Steve grinned. “I got the door, baby, you get your phone.” He turned and hurried to let Elaine, Bucky, and Nat into the apartment.

TJ looked down at his phone and his eyebrows rose at Doug’s answer. Doug, Anne and Nana were already in New York, doing some shopping, and would be able to visit later that day. Quickly typing back, saying that was fine, TJ set the phone down with a small frown. Had Elaine asked the entire family up? TJ prayed that this wasn’t going to turn into some type of intervention.

Elaine again left her secret service man in the hall. She smiled at her adopted son as she walked in, greeting Steve politely, if not warmly. At least she didn’t give him the _political freeze_. Elaine walked over and hugged her boy. “Did you mean for me to wait a few minutes? I thought you’d already be dressed.”

TJ had to fight the urge to roll his eyes, “sorry . . . I can change if this bothers you.”

She shook her head, “not at all, TJ. Green suits you.” She glanced back to his face, smiling. “And the bruises are fading. That’s good. Have you even left the apartment? It’s been beautiful out.”

“No, I haven’t left . . . been too tired,” TJ answered with a soft flush.

Frowning, Elaine gently took TJ’s chin and tilted his head, checking his eye and cheek more closely. “You should have gotten that checked again. It could be more serious the they thought if you’re always tired.”

“I’m _fine_ , I went to the hospital, they did scans and everything,” TJ grumbled, actually pulling out of Elaine’s grip, “Monday was just a crazy day and we just needed to rest. People do that sometimes . . .”

“Ah, the luxury of locking yourself away for four days,” Elaine chuckled, as if TJ were a teenager trying to pretend at adult things and she found it adorable. “I miss such a luxury.” She moved over to the chair she’d used last time, Steve’s chair, and sank down gracefully. Leaning over to pat the couch closest to her, she smiled at TJ. “Let’s talk, TJ.”

Bucky shot his brother a look of exasperation but sank onto the other chair, tugging Nat onto his lap. He’d managed to put up with his aunt for several days, and was feeling the typical annoyance of the Hammond children for their mother, despite only being the nephew. He’d also heartily missed his brother’s touches and loving and so was _out of sorts_ , as the old expression went.

Sighing, TJ sat down and looked at his mother.

Steve slid onto the couch next to TJ and wrapped his arm around his fiancee. He had slipped into his t-shirt while TJ was distracted, but it was hardly better than going barechested; Steve had no t-shirts that fit him properly.

Elaine ignored Steve for the moment and took TJ’s hands, smiling. “So, you’ve had time to rest and think. We can discuss you working, your engagement, all the stuff a mother and son talk about?” Her attitude seemed to have switched to her _political face_ while TJ had been holed up. That meant she was aiming to get something she wanted that he might not like.

“Okay . . . what is there to discuss? I had to quit my job because I wasn’t safe there and I _am_ marrying Steve,” TJ said firmly.

Shaking her head, Elaine frowned. “TJ, I don’t want you working where you aren’t safe. We don’t need to talk about that place. I’ve already got our lawyers dealing with them. And I said nothing about ending your engagement, did I?” She stroked TJ’s hands.

Blowing out a breath, TJ shook his head and looked at his mom; he never could keep his ground with her. He knew she loved him and thought he needed to be protected, but he had to try to make her understand that he _needed_ Steve.

Elaine stroked his hands again. “I was thinking on paying for your wedding, actually.”

“What?” TJ looked surprised, eyes widening as the words sank in.

“Yes, you wouldn’t have to worry about the expenses since you’ll just be starting out, and you would be able to show total support. We can plan it together.” She smiled widely at her surprise.

TJ let out a bitter laugh, “so what? You want to plan the wedding? So you can make it just another political party? You nearly . . . no, wait, you _did_ ruin Doug and Anne’s wedding! They didn’t even invite us because they got so overwhelmed by all the political bullshit!” TJ ripped his hands from Elaine’s, “I won’t have that happen with Steve and mine.”

Looking stunned, Elaine shook her head. “TJ, your wedding is going to be closely watched, followed, by anyone interested in Hammond lives, bad or good. And Steve doesn’t exactly have the most acceptable military record. My support can stop them from pulling you both apart in the press.”

“Not if we elope like Doug and Anne did!” TJ snapped.

“You’d do that to Nana? To Dougie?” Elaine shot back, frowning. “I know I’m not your favorite person in the world anymore. You’ve outgrown a mother, apparently, and decided I make a better bad guy. But, really? Your grandmother? Your brother?” She knew what buttons to push.

TJ felt a rush of guilt and he shook his head, losing his righteous anger.

Steve’s hand slid down TJ’s back and ended at his waistband, toying with the fabric as if absently. He leaned over, never taking his eyes from Elaine, and deliberately kissed TJ’s neck, tugging his collar very lightly. Softly, he said, “oh, they’re invited unless a big political stunt is pulled, like with Doug and Anne’s wedding. Anyone who wants to come is welcome, but they’re not planning my wedding with TJ. TJ and I are planning our own wedding.” He lightly tugged the loose silk tie again, trying to remind TJ about lesson two without saying it out loud.

TJ’s fingers lifted and wrapped around the tie; his eyes lifted to look at Steve and he smiled softly.

Steve smiled in encouragement and love.

TJ looked back at his mother and nodded, “Steve and I will be planning the wedding.”

Steve added a kiss to TJ’s shoulder, despite the shirt covering it. He softly, though firmly said, “you are welcome as a guest of honor, Madam Secretary, but only if you remain as a guest. We’ll even accommodate secret servicemen since your safety is important. The same goes for former president Hammond and all of TJ’s family. But, you are all _guests_. Don’t worry about expense or venue or clothes. Your wedding present is welcome but not necessary. We just want you to come and witness and enjoy your _son’s_ big day.”

Elaine sat stunned, gathering herself. She usually could have countered Steve in a quick political maneuver, but she was still flabbergasted that _TJ_ was the one rebelling. Of course, when Doug had rebelled it had stunned her, but TJ had always been so needy that he’d eventually just fell into her plans out of desperation. With Steve’s strong hand involved, Elaine couldn’t stretch the engagement out like she had with Doug and Anne.

Looking at his Mom, watching her closely, TJ asked, “why didn’t you tell me George used to beat Bucky?”

Natasha’s eyes widened slightly at the the question and she chanced a glance over her shoulder at her husband.

Bucky’s face became impassive, his eyes wary, and he seemed to freeze under his wife’s slight weight. He’d really never told anyone about the abuse, how his dad would hit him when he was small because of being drunk half the time . . . how after George had remarried the beatings shifted to become even worse, if less frequently, until that damn day he fought with Steve . . . when George had overheard the boys talking and translated it to mean his son was gay. George had thought he could beat it out of Bucky, never even stopping to ask if _Bucky_ was interested in men or anyone for that matter.

Elaine drew in a breath, eyes wide and horrified. “He did? My God, TJ! If I knew George hit James, I would have taken him to court all over again!” She looked to her nephew, pure worry and regret in her eyes.

“You didn’t know? You knew _everything_ ,” TJ’s eyes narrowed, not fully believing his mother’s shock.

Frowning, Elaine countered, “I didn’t even know your father was cheating on me, how could I know the secrets hidden miles away?” her tone snapped in a bitter defense. “I was dealing with a pair of active, energetic teenagers who would challenge our authority publicly . . . and the politics of being First Lady! Tommy, I’m flattered you think I was all powerful, but I had enough on my mind with your coming out. How could I keep track of your other twin, too?”

“My coming out? I’m sorry _my coming out_ stressed _you_ out, considering I didn’t even _want_ to come out publicly yet!” TJ growled.

Settling a frown on her son, Elaine leaned closer and, very steadily said, “you should have thought of that _before_ you got caught _on camera_ with the gardner’s kid in the damn oval office!” She’d never told him she knew about Terry.

TJ’s eyes widened, the fight seeming to seep out of him.

“The pictures were going to leak, damn it, so we managed to head them off by having you come out. Did you really think _no one_ saw that little affair, Tommy? It was the White House, for God’s sake!”

“I - - It wasn’t an affair,” TJ said softly, eyes falling.

“Affair meaning event, stunt, occasion, not an ongoing relationship kept hidden . . .” she stopped, taking a deep breath and shaking her head, eyes closed. Softly, slowly, she said, “no one really even noticed the pictures when they released because they were so excited about your coming out. And Bud arranged for the gardner and his family to switch to a _less tempting_ job. We managed to smooth that one over _for_ you, too.”

“D - - Dad made Terry move?” TJ asked, looking at his mother. Terry had been the sweetest boy . . . had been TJ’s first _serious_ relationship . . . at fifteen, Terry had been everything to TJ.

Gently, taking her son’s hands, Elaine tried to explain, “we had nothing against Terry, personally, and it would have been great, but . . .”

“Except it would have looked bad on _you_ and _Dad_ if it was known I was in a serious relationship with a _gardener’s son_ , right?” TJ snapped, though his tone was still quiet.

Surprised laughter came out of the woman and she shook her head, eyes wide. “What century do you think we live in? We were worried about Terry’s mental state, not his father’s job!” She proved she knew the boy’s name, at least.

The laughter from his mother only made him angrier, feeling like she was laughing _at_ his concerns . . . not taking _him_ and his feelings seriously. “Terry’s mental state? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Sighing, all signs of laughter dissipating immediately, Elaine shook her head. “You were so busy loving and living, you never noticed, did you? Tommy, Terry was bipolar. He was showing signs of true mania and his father had a hell of a time just making him take his medicine regularly so he would stay in a reasonable condition. There were times he was so angry he’d destroy furniture over at that cottage they stayed in. You only saw Terry on his good days, baby, because his father wouldn’t bring him to work on the bad. It’s why John didn’t show to work half of the time - - he was so busy with his son.”

TJ blinked, looking shocked, afraid to ask but knowing he needed to, his tone soft, fearful of the answer, “and now? Do - - do you know if Terry is okay, now?”

A look of sorrow crossed Elaine’s face and she shook her head. “Terry died five years ago, TJ. He killed himself.”

TJ closed his eyes and nodded, any anger rushing out of him to be replaced by grief. “I - - I never spoke to him after he left . . .” his voice was so soft it was barely able to be heard.

“I know, Tommy,” she squeezed his hands. “I’m sorry. It was for his good as much as your’s. He needed to get under control.”

Standing up, his hands slipping from his mother’s, TJ turned and walked towards the hallway . . . he just needed to clear his head for a moment. He went into the bedroom he shared with Steve, letting the door shut softly behind him.

Steve stood, without excusing himself, and walked over to the bedroom. He opened the door enough to check on TJ but didn’t intrude, just monitored. Too much had happened to TJ recently for Steve to let TJ spend time brooding long, but the man had a right to his emotions, his grief, and his privacy. Feeling sure TJ wouldn’t hurt himself, even inadvertently, Steve moved to shut the door but took one last look to be sure.

TJ sat on the bed, looking at the wall with a near blank expression, though his hands shook slightly in his lap. “You think if I’d stayed in contact . . . he might still be alive?” TJ asked softly.

“Depends on _why_ he committed suicide, TJ,” Steve responded just as softly.

“I’m - - I’m poison, Steve,” TJ said.

“How are you poison, baby?” Steve slipped into the room and sank down next to his lover. He wrapped an arm around him.

“Everyone around me gets hurt. Winifred and Terry killed themselves . . .” TJ’s jaw ticked but his face still remained mostly passive.

“I doubt your mother killed herself because she was near you, TJ. Chances are, she was upset about something other than her precious little boy.” Hugging gently, Steve added, “when someone’s suicidal, they can forget just how important specific people are. They see all their loved ones as one big unit and weigh that against each individual problem, instead of listing the people separately and balancing them out to the number of problems. Depressive logic doesn’t seem logical to the non-depressed, but that’s the way it goes.” Lifting TJ’s chin, Steve looked at him, “and Terry had ten years of living without you, with who knew what or even who in his life. I think it was because of someone or something other than his boyhood love that Terry must have given up.”

Sighing, TJ didn’t reply to Steve, he turned his head to look back at the wall.

“You’re not poison to _me_ , baby. I _need_ you to live, not the other way around,” Steve offered softly.

“Look at what’s happened to you since you’ve met me, Steve,” TJ spoke just as softly, passively, “I made you come out, even though you weren’t ready. You _lost your job_. We are going to have to move . . . because of _me_. I turned your life upside down . . . your’s, Bucky’s, Natasha’s. I _did that_. Let’s not even get started on how I fucked up Bucky’s life.”

Steve was silent for a long moment, thinking over TJ’s points. Finally, he responded in a gentle, quiet tone, “you didn’t force me to move, TJ. Prices in Brooklyn are doing that. And turns out that damn teaching job wasn’t worth it. Now I get to do something I’ve always wanted to but was too afraid to try: I get to work on my art. Coming out was a bit harsh, yeah, but the only bad thing that’s come of it was losing a job not worth having with assholes who don’t take care of their staff or students right? So, a plus, I’d say. I escaped that repression.” Steve pulled TJ into a hug, “I can’t speak for Bucky, but you’ve _enriched_ my life, pet. And I love you more each day.”

Finally, TJ’s body seemed to react; he wrapped his arms around Steve and clutched at his boyfriend like his life depended on it. TJ buried his face into his boyfriend’s chest and he released a few deep, shaky breaths, trying to keep himself from breaking down.

“And did I mention?” Steve added in a quiet whisper, “that until I met you, I thought I was asexual? Even Bucky never turned me on like you do.”

“I love you . . .” TJ murmured quietly.

Steve smiled and kissed TJ’s lips, a gentle caress. “I love you, too, pet.” He held his fiancee for several long moments, quietly communing with the other man. Finally, he asked, “did you want to visit Terry’s grave sometime?”

“Maybe . . . but - - not . . . I don’t know - -” TJ stammered.

“Some time in the future. I’d like to meet him. He sounds like he saw something beautiful in my TJ and helped guide him into the man I know today.” Steve lifted TJ’s chin. “I’d like to thank him for loving you.” His eyes said he wanted TJ to be able to say goodbye, as well, to the man who’d never gotten much of a chance to live.

TJ nodded, he rubbed his uninjured eye and sighed.

“Would you like to go out and continue discussing how your mother is _not_ planning our wedding, pet?” Steve offered a small smile of encouragement.

TJ nodded again.

Smiling proudly, lovingly, Steve helped his lover to his feet. Carefully, he led TJ back to the other room and to the couch, so he could once more sit within a hand’s grasp of Elaine. Steve moved back to his chair, offering a smile at the other three, though none of them actually looked like they’d moved during TJ and Steve’s bedroom discussion. “We were discussing the wedding?” Steve offered. “And how _we_ are the ones planning it? Including the guest list, I’m thinking.”

“I - - I like to invite my sister?” TJ said softly, looking at Bucky and then Elaine.

“Sister?” Elaine said without really thinking, “I never had a girl. I certainly would have known if I’d had another kid, TJ.”

“Stop lying to me,” TJ said, though his tone was subdued, “can you please just tell me the truth for once?”

Elaine looked at him, eyes wide at the sudden, if muted, attack. “I’m not lying, TJ. I never gave birth to another child. You _know_ that! And you were the only one I adopted!”

Steve reached over to cuddle his lover. He calmly said, “his natural sister. Barnes sister.”

Elaine stopped in her tracks and looked at Steve. She glanced over Bucky and Nat quietly ensconced in the other chair, and she realized what had happened. She’d been so distracted, she’d actually missed the change of subject. “Oh, you mean Rebecca Barnes, your natural sister.” Elaine sighed.

“Yes,” TJ nodded, “I’ve never met her and I want to.”

“Yes, you should have, and I protested vehemently when Bud insisted you not be allowed to visit. But, I let him have his way in the end.” She looked up at her adopted son, and the truth was very evident. She had given in to Bud, like she’d done many times back then.

“Why?” TJ asked, “why did you two insist on keeping me away from my biological family?” His words were still spoken softly, though they were an obvious accusation.

Elaine remained in the submissive sitting position, giving TJ the power position this time. Her voice was firm, though, as she answered, “he was terrified you’d want to stay with George and his second wife and their two children, James and the infant.”

“But that was _my choice_. You guys took that from me.” TJ pointed out.

“Baby, Tommy, listen to me. You were ten years old. Remember what it was like for us, all of us, when you were ten? When Bud was the one in charge with aspirations to the White House? When the only voice _any_ of us had was as a supportive family? Bud loves you, he always had. He didn’t want to lose his family during that whirlwind, so made a choice not to give you any options. But, TJ, he did it out of love and fear. It wasn’t the best choice, but he meant well.”

“Love? Like you kept Bucky’s accident and my own _father’s_ death from me for _three weeks_? If that’s how you two love . . . I don’t want it anymore!” TJ’s voice raised slightly, his pale eyes miserable.

“You know we kept that from you while you were recovering from trying to kill yourself!” Elaine shot back. If he was exposing their dirty secrets, she’d expose his.

“That’s not an excuse, he’s _my brother_ , no one told me he nearly _died_ ,” TJ said.

“You tried to hurt yourself?” Bucky asked, looking as stunned as TJ must have been to hear about George’s death.

Head snapping to look at his twin, TJ’s mouth opened and closed; he’d honestly forgotten Bucky and Natasha had been in the room, they’d been so quiet during the entire conversation. “I - - I . . .” TJ stammered, unable to get the words out, he hugged himself and his eyes fell, unable to look at his twin.

“Thank God you failed at that!” Bucky said, eyes intent on his twin.

“Th - - thought you knew?” TJ murmured, still not looking at his brother, “story got leaked two years ago.”

“About the time you had another really rough patch,” Bucky sighed, shaking his head. “I should have tried to get you to come to New York soner. I should have approached Uncle Bud about finding you a music job back then instead of waiting so long.” He shook his head and buried his face in Natasha's shoulder.

“Not your fault,” TJ mumbled, “there was no way for you to know . . . we hadn’t started talking with one another yet.”

“Yeah, took me falling asleep at the wheel, you losing your hope, then that damn club thing, and my weird seizure, before we really got to talking, huh?” Bucky shook his head in Natasha’s shoulder.

“Seizure? When did you have a seizure?” TJ finally lifted his eyes to look at his brother, face stricken with worry.

Bucky looked up. “Couple years ago. The doctors’ couldn’t figure it out. I just started convulsing out of the blue and collapsed. Natasha rushed me to the emergency room and I was in a coma for three days.”

“What day?” TJ asked, “you had your accident the same night I . . . what day did you have your seizure?”

Shaking his head, Bucky said, “I don’t know, actually. I lost a bit of time around then. Natasha?” He looked at his wife.

Natasha looked at Steve and then at TJ, “it was the same night of the club incident, TJ.”

“The same night that . . .” Bucky frowned, “that you collapsed at the club?”

“Overdosed,” TJ supplied; he’d paled at Nat’s words, looking like he might get sick. He’d somehow managed to hurt Bucky from states away, before they were even in contact with one another.

“An overdose of cocaine,” Elaine hissed, eyes flickering to Steve to judge his reaction, not catching onto the way TJ’s mind had gone straight to guilt.

“Yeah, they know,” TJ answered numbly, letting his mother vent out her anger . . . simply taking it.

Still upset over how she’d nearly lost her beloved son, Elaine added bitterly, “at least this time, maybe your keeper can keep you from nearly killing yourself.”

TJ flinched, but made no effort to defend himself or his relationship with Steve.

“Okay, time out! That’s enough!” Steve barked. He stood, setting TJ on his feet and encircling TJ’s waist, pulling him backwards and flush against his hard, muscular body. “Elaine, ma’am, you will respect TJ in his own home. And respect that everyone, even you, have made mistakes in the past. Let’s not keep dredging them up unless you want to appear petty and controlling. This isn’t a campaign, ma’am, it’s a family home. If you want to remain welcome, you will show some respect.”

Elaine snapped her mouth shut, eyes narrowing. After a moment, she nodded and said, “I apologize, TJ, for bringing up such hurtful memories. I worry about you and your decisions. Some don’t make sense to me.” She sank back onto the chair, giving over the power once more.

Another knock echoed through the apartment, firm and steady.

Steve kissed TJ’s neck and let him go. He walked over to the door and asked, much like with Elaine’s visit, “who is it?” He checked the peephole.

“Bud Hammond, and I could hear the screaming from downstairs, sounded like a bunch of cats,” the tall, heavy-set man’s loud voice boomed.

Steve opened the door and stepped back. “Welcome, Mr. President. And I hope we have the cats under control now.” Steve backed out of the way to allow Bud Hammond, former United States President, into his small apartment.

TJ shook his head, arms wrapping around himself, “Doug, Anne, Nana _and_ Dad? What is this, Momma?”

“Looks like an intervention,” Bucky drawled, just to make mischief, still stinging from the idea of having not been told that TJ had been so depressed, had needed Bucky so much.

Bud stepped in past Steve and looked at his son, “and what in God’s name is around your neck, TJ?” The large man didn’t correct Bucky’s claim as he walked over and tilted TJ’s head up to get a better look at the rumpled tie, “didn’t know were a dog, my boy.” He instantly recognized the innocuous article of clothing for what it really represented.

Steve turned as he shut the door. “Welcome to our home. I’m Steve Rogers, TJ’s fiancee.”

“Yes, yes, heard a bunch about you, Steve Rogers,” Bud answered, not looking back at Steve.

“As much as I’ve heard about you?” Steve shot back calmly, judging the man’s reaction. Bud was very well known, due to media rumor and gossip, to be a womanizer, and that fact had cost him his last bid in politics.

Bud laughed and let go of TJ’s chin, who was flushing brightly with his eyes downcast, and looked at the tall blond, “you’ve probably heard much more about me, I’d bet.”

“Would you like a seat? Unfortunately, the only space left is the couch, because your nephew and his wife are taking the other chair, and Madam Secretary has the first one.” Steve didn’t smile, but he didn’t sound unwelcoming, just a bit wary.

“I’m fine standing,” Bud answered, looking back at TJ, “hell of a shiner, TJ.”

“He got that when he was attacked at that academy,” Steve answered. “And the neck bruising. It could have been far worse”

“My son can speak for himself, thank you very much, Steve,” Bud said.

“TJ, do you want me to stay out of this?” Steve offered, not even looking at his fiancee, keeping his eye on Bud, as if on a predator.

TJ looked shocked, body rigid, his jaw ticked and he shook his head. He stepped back, putting some space between him and Bud, inadvertently stepping closer to Bucky.

“TJ,” Steve called, his voice softening, “lesson four.”

Bud looked to Elaine, eyebrows raised in serious alarm.

She threw her hands into the air. “Apparently he’s gotten himself into some sort of alternative lifestyle. Some kind of master-servant thing.”

Steve frowned instantly and stiffened. “TJ is not my servant and never will be! He is my lover, my fiancee, and the man I have the privilege of caring for. If you need to label it, call it submissive and dominant, but it is never as selfish or one sided as ownership or _working_.” He stepped over to TJ and took his arm, gentle and caring. He leaned over and kissed TJ’s shoulder. “Mine, TJ,” he said softly, not hiding their relationship from his judgemental parents.

Natasha looked at Bucky, frowning.

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Bucky tapped Natasha to let her know he wanted to stand. When she let him up, Bucky rose to his feet and held up his hands, “look, Uncle Bud, Aunt Elaine, you’ve dealt with the dom-sub thing hundreds of times in politics. Just no one else is so open and honest about it, right? TJ lets Steve take care of him, because TJ trusts Steve to do a good job and make him feel loved and protected. But, the moment Steve oversteps his bounds, TJ _will_ fight back. It’s not a game to either of them. It’s a form of permission. That tie, and his collars, are a sign that TJ is _allowing_ Steve the dominant role. Steve bought it for him as a gift to show he’s willing to fill that role and takes it very serious, will care for and help TJ. It’s not power, it’s love and respect. So, can we drop the lifestyle ripping and get back to the real reason this intervention was called?” By the time he’d finished, Bucky was standing next to his twin and laid a supportive hand on his arm, offering a small smile. He put aside the past worries to reassure his twin that Bucky would always be there _now_.

Bud looked between Steve, Bucky and TJ, trying to get a read on the situation.

Steve said, quite calmly again, “Mr. President, did you come here to try to stop our wedding? Or to try to keep TJ from me? If so, I’d like to know why, please. If I know your concerns, I can address them.” He gestured towards the chairs and couch. “Is anyone thirsty? Hungry?”

Phil let out a loud yip, which drew a smile from Steve. “You’re always hungry, Phil!” He scooped up the puppy and cuddled it but didn’t leave the living room without hearing the answers to his questions. That would have been rude.

Bud, still frowning, shook his head answering Steve’s question. “Nothing for me, thank you,’ Elaine answered politely, eyes never leaving TJ. Steve nodded and set his puppy down and touched TJ’s arm but didn’t say anything more.

The door opened, this time without a knock, and Doug, Anne and Nana were let in by Bud’s secret service man.

“Nana! This isn’t our house! We can’t just barge in!” Doug’s protest came from the doorway.

“TJ wouldn’t leave us in the hall,” she answered in self assurance. “Would you, TJ?” Nana strode over and hugged her grandson, kissing his good cheek as if she’d always known he was injured. “So, can someone get an old lady a drink?”

“No alcohol in the house,” Steve answered automatically. “Against the rules. No wild parties, alcohol, or drugs allowed.” He flushed slightly when he realized how that might sound.

Doug’s eyes widened when he saw his brother’s injuries, “damn, Teej, that looks like it hurts.” Doug left Anne’s side to walk over to TJ and give him a hug, not mentioning or even looking at the tie.

Nana sighed when she couldn’t get her drink and began wandering the apartment, looking around in curiosity. At least it was clean and neat, and no lingering pet odors. She noted the two collar boxes by the door and honed in on them. Opening one, she drew a deep breath and held up the worked metal with the heart clasp then the black leather with the Cyrillic-worded pendant. “Brother mine? How lovely.”

Elaine frowned to have the translation, eyes darting to Bucky. “You encourage this?” she hissed, but he ignored her.

“Nana!” Anne said softly, “that’s not yours to touch!”

“Pish, I’m not sealing it, just looking.” She held the black leather against her neck and smiled, “a bit masculine for me anyway.”

TJ, his brothers still by either side, laughed and nodded. Nana always had a way of making him laugh.

She grinned over at her grandson. “Don’t let this one ditch, baby. He’s got more style then all your past boyfriends put together.” She put the chokers back and opened the collar box. An eyebrow lifting, she looked up, lifting the black leather decorated with embossed red hearts. “Oh, this would look good against your pale skin.” Nana put back the collar and walked over for another hug. “Not too tight, baby?”

“No, Nana,” TJ grinned, loving how his grandmother and Doug were so accepting.

Nodding, Nana straightened and said, “well, the moment it starts to chafe, ditch his beautiful ass.”

Elaine shook her head and flitted a hand. “Mother!”

Nana turned. “I’m not dead. I can certainly enjoy a good ass when I see one!”

Steve smiled. “Thank you, ma’am.” Normally, he’d have been embarrassed, but something about the older woman made him relax instead.

Doug gave TJ a one-armed hug and then, with the same hand, tapped Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky grinned. “Hey, Doug, can I steal you to show off my apartment? Nat’s got plans for converting the second bedroom. Anne? This is my wife Natasha.” Bucky began directing his cousin and their wives from the apartment without stopping to check in, leaving Steve and TJ to deal with the three elder family members. He wanted to get his twin alone, but had to let him deal with the intervention first.

Doug and Anne followed a few steps behind the other couple.

Once the trio had gotten downstairs, Bucky dropped the entire homey act and turned to Doug, crossing his arms. “What?”

“Look, we need to talk, okay? Nothing bad, I swear,” Doug raised his hands in an innocent manner.

“I’d say we do. But how well this talk goes depends on how much you’re going to bat for Aunt Elaine. Uncle Bud, I haven't got such a read on yet, but she’s trying to draw out the engagement, make it a political party, and guilt TJ into dropping my best friend.”

Natasha led Anne away, letting the two men hash out whatever it was they needed to talk about. Doug nodded and ran his fingers through his hair.

Gesturing to a chair, Bucky sank onto the one closest. “By the way, congrats on finally getting married. I understand from TJ it wasn’t easy.”

“That’s the understatement of the year,” Doug laughed, though it sounded a bit bitter, as he sat down in the chair next to Bucky.

Bucky grinned, though his own expression looked a little strained and wary. “I like plain speaking, Doug, if that’s okay?”

“That’s fine by me,” Doug nodded and then took a deep breath, “I’m gonna be honest here. Mom asked us all to come down to try and convince TJ to move back to DC.”

Nodding, Bucky said, “yeah, we figured that out once Uncle Bud invaded.” He leaned forward, hands folded together and arms leaning on his knees. “Doug, what’s she told you about what’s going on with TJ?”

“Just that he’s in a controlling relationship, that it’s unhealthy,” Doug shook his head, “but I don’t think that’s it.”

“Not sure how much you know about kink, but TJ’s a submissive in the relationship, and Steve’s the dominant. So, yeah, it’s controlling. But not the way she means. TJ can walk out at any time.” Bucky lifted a hand to push his long hair from his eyes. “She went off on Steve a few days ago about his military career, what there was of it. And seemed to do a turn-around, then turned right back around today.” He shook his head and sighed.

“Look, I know how she can be, trust me, _I know_ . . . but, you have to try and see it from her side, too. For the last fifteen years, it’s been an uphill battle with TJ . . . ups, downs, and everything in between. You two have only gotten in touch with one another while he’s been clean,” Doug sighed, running a hand down his face.

Bucky nodded his agreement, not interrupting.

“He’s had a lot of boyfriends, and every single one he’s claimed to love and . . .” Doug shook his head again.

“Just like a good third of the dating community,” Bucky defended softly but didn’t stop the worried man from talking.

“I’m not blaming him. I understand. I’m the one who’s held him after yet another asshole took his heart and crushed it. He’s fragile. I know . . . I’ve seen him while he’s happy, while in a relationship and swearing he’ll stay clean,” Doug continued to explain.

Softly, Bucky said, “Steve doesn’t use, Doug. He doesn’t allow drugs near him, and the house is alcohol free. They drink at a club once in awhile, but that’s it.”

“I’m not saying Steve is a druggie, about half of TJ’s past boyfriends weren’t. It’s the crash that gets him, every single time,” Doug looked at Bucky closely.

Nodding, Bucky straightened. “The break up.”

“Now, I’m not saying that Steve and TJ are going to break up. I hope they make it, like I always hope TJ’s relationships work out.”

“But it’s always a possibility,” Bucky pointed out practically.

Doug nodded, looking worried, “and every time he’s gotten back into drugs and the last time nearly killed him.”

“And, just asking, has he ever been proposed to before, or were his boyfriends in it for the moment?” Bucky asked, watching Doug just as carefully. He respected the love Doug held for their brother. Bucky reached out and placed his hand over his cousin’s hand, squeezing lightly to let him know that Bucky cared, too, that he wasn’t just brushing off the fact that TJ had nearly died.

Looking surprised, Doug shook his head, “no.”

“Did Aunt Elaine tell you that Steve and TJ are engaged?” Bucky asked. “I mean, we’ve been talking about the wedding, but did it really sink in that they plan to get married, Doug.”

“TJ and Steve?” Doug still looked stunned and then his emotions ranged from relieved and then finally even more worried than before.

Nodding, Bucky said, “I’ve known Steve since I was ten. He’s like my brother. So, I know and trust him. With my life, with Nat’s life. They’ve only been together for a few weeks, but Steve’s serious, Doug. He’s in it for the long haul.”

“Sean was serious. Same with John and Liam . . .” Doug sighed, ruffling his hair through his fingers.

“Sean was serious enough to give up his career and get married to TJ?” Bucky shook his head. “Steve fought against the academy, where he’s been teaching and had a tenure, because they weren’t protecting TJ from his attacker. Steve not only came out to them, which has it’s own monster problems, but he was fired for it. Steve started looking for another job so he could stay with TJ.” Bucky locked eyes with Doug, trying to get the import of these events across to his cousin. “TJ’s been helping Steve come out. He’s not just a silent follower in this.”

Doug sighed, still looking concerned, “I don’t want you thinking I don’t support this . . . I want him happy and if that’s being married to Steve . . . “ he stopped when Bucky spoke.

“But, you’re afraid that if this relationship _does_ end, TJ’s gonna hit so hard, he may not be able to be rescued,” Bucky supplied, understanding fully Doug’s concerns.

“Bucky, I’d lost count of how many times TJ has called me late at night, high off his mind, sometimes he didn’t even know where he was . . . he’d gone with _strangers_ to their houses just so they’d _touch_ him,” Doug swallowed, shaking his head.

Making a decision, without getting the go ahead from Steve or TJ, Bucky leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Steve was in the Army, in 2009, Doug, and he had a secret boyfriend. But it turned out the boyfriend was not what he thought and initiated a gang rape. Steve barely survived and has closed himself off ever since. A couple of years ago, he hooked up with a woman who started helping him through his fears and problems. But she left him for her old girlfriend. So, he closed off again.” Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “And since meeting TJ, Steve’s come alive again. He’s laughed and talked and he’s _come out_. The man so afraid to come out because the military told him he was raped because he told someone he was okay with loving men . . . and he’s not only come out to the academy, and been fired for it, he’s continued to come out. _TJ_ did that for him.Our brother has such a significant role in Steve’s life, he’s helped a man who was told by counselors that he deserved what he got.” Touching Doug’s hand, Bucky shook his head, “and I’ve seen TJ retreat from the world since meeting Steve. He’s been happy while doing so. I’m not sure what exactly he’s afraid of, since he talks more to Steve than even me, but he seems to be happiest when Steve tells him what to wear or that he’s not eating enough or any number of little things. But, Doug, it’s hard to explain, because watching them, it feels like TJ needs that to be happy? And Steve barely keeps his hands to himself. He’s always touching TJ . . . and TJ thrives on it. So, did any of his boyfriends ever do _that_ for TJ? Hold him all the time and tell him he’s not eating enough and take away the indecision by telling him what to wear so TJ doesn’t stand for two hours trying to make up his mind?”

It took a while for Doug to speak, repeating Bucky’s words over and over again in his mind. “No.”

“Doug, I barely understand the power they hold over each other, but I think they both found their other half. Steve loves being in charge so he can make sure his lover is well treated, happy. TJ needs someone to take away the choices, because he’s got no confidence since he’s always made bad ones and people haven’t hesitated to tell him so. Steve has slowly been having TJ make decisions, too, so it's not a lack of choice ever for TJ. I think they need each other?” Bucky lifted his hand to once more run through his hair, his damaged left hand still on his lap, arm braced on his knee. “Would Sean or Liam or John ever take that kind of time for TJ? Let go the old job and look for one specifically so he can support TJ, without TJ bringing any money in, so TJ can choose to be a house husband if he wants?”

“No, I guess not,” Doug sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

Bucky smiled softly. “I know you’re very worried, Doug, and that is a very real possibility, that they’ll break up in the future. But, I think if it happens, it will be mutual because TJ no longer needs Steve. Steve needs to be needed, and right now TJ needs to be loved. I think, if TJ ever is single again, he’ll be stronger for it, not cast out and desperate. I think Steve will set TJ up to stand on his own two feet. And, besides, what other boyfriend of TJ’s has spent almost a thousand dollars on clothes, another thousand for pleasure we won’t get into but I’ve seen the receipts, and who knows how many on a variety of collars and such to show off his love, even when going to the store?” Chuckling, Bucky shook his head. “If TJ’s a fling, he’s the most expensive fling ever.”

“I . . .” Doug shook his head and rubbed his face again, looking exhausted, worried and maybe a little hopeful.

“Doug, if we can oust Aunt Elaine, you and Anne are welcome to spend some time here, in the spare room, and get to know them as a couple. If, after a few weeks, you’re still worried about Steve treating TJ right, I’ll very seriously consider counseling and a pry bar for those two.” Bucky met his eyes. “Deal? Consider it a way to escape your parents while checking up on TJ _for them_. They should let you go from campaigning for that, right?”

“Yeah . . . that might not be a bad idea,” Doug agreed with a nod.

Nodding, smiling, Bucky raised his voice, “okay, ladies, I know you’re making wedding plans in there . . . but Steve already put a ban on anyone interfering in TJ’s wedding.

Natasha and Anne stepped out of the spare room, both smiling, Anne looked at Bucky and smiled, “We’re not planning TJ’s wedding to Steve. I’ve got so many new ideas on how to redecorate the guests room on the second floor back home so the four of you can come for an extended visit.”

“Well, don’t get too excited, Cousin Anne. If Steve gets that Met job, the four of us are touring the world for two years. Of course, if you can pull yourself from DC, you’re welcome to drop in and join us any time.” Bucky stood, “but for now, why don’t we talk about possibly getting Doug to stay here for a couple weeks so you girls can get to know each other better, and Doug can make sure my best friend is treating our brother like he deserves?”

Doug nodded, slipping off the chair to wrap an arm around Anne’s waist. She had put on a little healthy weight since their marriage two years before and looked vibrant and so alive. Hugging her husband, Anne turned a smile up to him, studying his face for clues as to what he wanted. “It would be a good idea . . . your mother would agree.”

“Right now, I’m not sure I care much what my mother thinks is a good idea or not,” Doug admitted.

Anne lay a hand on his chest and smiled wider. “And it would give us some time away from the campaign. You’re so tired all the time.”

Nodding, Doug agreed, “yeah, some time off might be nice.”

“And, I would love some advice from Natasha on how to decorate the guest rooms.” She waited, breath held.

Doug laughed and nodded, “you’ve been trying to redecorate those rooms for two years!”

“And I’ve finally found the look I think I want,” Anne laughed back.

Bucky continued to grin at his cousin. “So, should we go upstairs and hit up Steve for some bubbling grape juice?”

Doug nodded, “and to tell my mother I am taking time off to help my family.”

“That’s right,” Anne said firmly. “To spend time with your family.” She smiled at her correction to what her husband said.

Bucky chuckled again and pulled Natasha closer.

A knock sounded through the apartment, it was soft and could very well have been missed if someone had been speaking.

Grinning at his family, Bucky walked over and opened the door.

TJ stood on the other side; he looked at his brother and asked, “c - - can I talk to you? If you’re not busy . . .”

“Any time, brother mine,” Bucky confirmed and took his twin’s wrist. “Excuse us, guys?” he said as he pulled TJ through the room and to the large master bedroom. He shut the door firmly, locking it, then turned and hugged TJ to him. “Heya, big brother,” he whispered, his twin finally in his arms. Bucky breathed in, feeling a bit more complete after the excitement and trauma so recently.

TJ clutched at Bucky, burying his face into his twin’s neck, “missed you. I - - I’m so sorry . . .”

“I’m not. I love you hard and leaking for me,” Bucky nuzzled at TJ’s shoulder, avoiding the neck bruising.

Mewling softly, TJ ran his hands down Bucky’s strong back. He loved Steve, needed him. But he also needed Bucky; he needed his twin like he needed air. Bucky was a part of him . . . he felt whole, felt _right_ in his twin’s arms. Three days without seeing Bucky had been too long . . . he ached for him.

“Not sure how long Natasha can distract Doug and Anne, so let’s not waste time.” Bucky pulled back and cupped his brother’s face, smiling. He leaned in and kissed TJ hard, desperately, growling against his lips. Bucky rocked his hips so their groins ground together; he was already hot and needy and _aching_ for TJ.

Moaning softly into the kiss, TJ immediately began unbuttoning Bucky's jeans, his nimble fingers brushing over his twin’s erection as he moved to push the jeans down. “Too long, Buck . . . need you . . .” TJ breathed, nipping at his brother's bottom lip.

“You’ve got too much on,” Bucky chuckled, ending in a slight growl. He managed to get his brother undressed rather quickly then coasted his hands over TJ’s chest, teasing his nipples lightly. “So damn beautiful, big brother.” He sealed their mouths again, hungry for TJ.

TJ keened, he quickly removed Bucky's shirt so he could touch and feel his brother's skin. He moved his lips from Bucky's mouth to kiss and nip at his neck and chest, hand cupping and stroking his twin’s clothed member.

On a low groan, Bucky rocked into TJ’s hand. “Gotta get you ready,” he moaned softly and tugged TJ toward the large bed. Pulling his brother down to the soft blankets, Bucky snaked a hand up to the bedside table and pulled out the lube he sometimes used with Natasha if they moved quicker than her body could catch up. “Wanna feel you all around me, brother mine.”

Whimpering, TJ's hips canted, wanting nothing more than to feel his brother on him, _in_ him. The past few days had been so overwhelming . . . he just needed to be touched and loved. “Want you . . .” the smaller brunet breathed out.

Pulling back enough to slide TJ’s boxers down, Bucky broke off kissing TJ’s mouth to start his way down his brother’s neck to his shoulders and chest, skipping over the fading bruises. He gripped TJ’s shaft and began stroking and twisting, his hand careful though dry, as he worked his brother a bit. “How long’s it take you to get ready, baby?” he moaned softly.

“Not long . . . two fingers will be fine . . .” TJ answered on a soft keen, hips canting again.

Nodding, Bucky let go his brother’s erection and uncapped the lube. He poured the chocolate scented lubricant over his fingers and his own cock. Reaching around behind TJ, Bucky caressed two fingers against his opening pushing lightly. “Like this, brother?”

Moaning quietly, TJ nodded; he knew he'd be able to take the two fingers . . . sure, it might burn a little but he was desperate, so very needy. “Mmm . . . yes, like that, baby brother. So good.”

Sucking one of TJ’s nipples into his mouth, Bucky slid his fingers in slowly, knuckle by knuckle, pausing and starting over and over. He stroked over TJ’s needy prostate once as he bottomed out then paused, breathing harshly as he continued to suck and lap at his brother’s nipple. “Mine,” he growled as he nipped lightly.

Mewling, back arching to take Bucky deeper as well as push into his intoxicating mouth, TJ looked up at his twin with lust blown eyes, cheeks flushed with arousal. “Yes, Buck, I wanna be yours . . . make me yours, Bucky . . .”

Bucky responded by carefully opening his fingers inside his twin, scissoring and curling to stretch TJ. “You aren’t as . . . stiff as I’d expect?” He whispered against TJ’s chest, switching to the other nipple. “Feel your pulse, too . . .” He sucked the nipple in hard and began sucking to the pulse he felt inside TJ’s passage.

TJ gasped and groaned softly, one hand fisted in the comforter while the other touched and caressed Bucky wherever he could reach. Bucky’s fingers in him, stretching him, felt so good . . . he could never get enough of the feeling, of Bucky.

As he worked, Bucky began to thrust in and out with his two fingers, massaging the passage along the way. Bucky stopped teasing TJ’s nipple and moved further down to his navel, lapping along the rim and dipping his tongue inside, in imitation of his fingers in TJ’s hot passage.

“Please, Buck . . . I need you . . . please,” TJ whimpered, hips canting off the bed, “I need to _feel_ you, please.”

Looking up to TJ’s expressive face, pausing in his treatment of his twin’s navel, Bucky growled out, “you can’t feel me? I can fix that.” And Buck eased a third finger inside with the first two, circling, stretched, scissoring, and even sliding over his prostate once he’d pushed two knuckles deep.

Moaning, TJ’s back arched as Bucky stroked his prostate, feeling that intense jolt of pure pleasure thrum through his entire body. “Bucky . . .” TJ keened, his tone a mix of begging and whining.

“Right here, big brother. With my fingers inside you more intimately than many people ever can dream of being with someone.” Bucky grinned and moved further down TJ’s beautiful writhing body to encircle TJ’s cockhead with questing lips, tongue running over the slit, tasting his precum.

“Bucky!” TJ moaned, “gonna - - if you keep - - gonna . . .” the smaller brunet’s hips involuntarily thrust slightly into his twin’s mouth.

Carefully lifting his lips, Bucky encircled TJ’s shaft with his left hand, fingers moving into an all too natural curl to match his more limited range of motion. He used his thumb to ghost over TJ’s slit, his spongy head. The other hand continue to work with strong, sure strokes inside his twin, feeling his heat, his need, as Bucky worked lovingly on stretching and pleasuring him. “So, if you cum for me do I still get to fill you up?”

Panting, TJ nodded, the flush from his cheeks having expanded to his neck and chest, “need you to fill me, Buck . . .”

Bucky nodded, “And you honestly think you’re ready now? I’ve got more fingers . . .” Bucky stroked both cock and rectum.

“W - - was ready _ages_ ago, Bucky,” TJ whined.

In an accusing tone Bucky said, “you told me two fingers! Ye never said I could just lube up and thrust in!” He gave another, harder stroke to TJ’s prostate. “Or did you take up the habit of wearing one of the anal plugs around the house and just removed it to come down here?”

“Wanted - - wanted to be r - - ready,” TJ answered after a pleasured groan from his brother’s talented fingers pressing against his prostate. “Please . . . Bucky . . .”

“Wh, you naughty little boy!” Bucky gasped in mock annoyance. “Keeping secrets from me. Probably didn’t even let Captain know you were getting ready to take me, either. You know, I’m gonna tell him.” Bucky pulled his fingers free and lined up. “Made me waste time stretching an already beautifully stretched passage, naughty boy! You were teasing me!” Bucky pressed into his twin, stopping once in awhile to let him become accustomed, until he’d bottomed out, balls to ass. There, Bucky held still and leaned into TJ, flush, chest to chest, kissing his neck bruise very carefully. “Should tell Captain right now to punish you, but he might not let use play.”

TJ squirmed and keened, trying to get the friction he so desperately needed, “j - - just wanted to be _your_ good boy today, Buck . . .”

Growling low, his voice sounding playful and lustful at the same time, Bucky rumbled, “well, if you’re gonna keep secrets from Captain how are you going to learn. Do you need _me_ to start playing Sergeant for him? Make sure you obey properly when he’s not around?” Bucky began pulling out, so far only his bulbous head remained inside his brother's tight heat. Then, Bucky rocked forward, slamming himself back into TJ without warning. As he fully impaled himself once more, Bucky let go his brother’s member to give him a stinging slap to the ass cheek and side, as much as he could reach since he faced TJ, who was on his back.

Yelping, TJ arched his back, the stinging pain of the blow plus his twin’s cock stretching him so full made the smaller brunet see white. He let out a low moan and his hips thrust upwards, “y - - yes . . . I wanna be good, Bucky . . . wanna be good for you and Captain . . .”

Nodding, Bucky leaned over to kiss TJ’s lips briefly. “Well, don’t you fret, you naughty boy. Between the Captain and I, we’ll make _sure_ to punish you enough to help you see what’s right from wrong. For instance, next time you use a plug to open yourself for me, _I get to remove the plug!_ ” And Bucky smacked either side of TJ’s ass, as far as he could, with each stressed word, leaving red finger marks on the pale flesh, as he thrust and stroked in and out, deep as he could.

“Yes, Sergeant,” TJ mewled; he met Bucky’s thrusting, matching it to increase their pleasure.

Smiling wide and growling low, Bucky let off the stinging blows, not wanting to injure TJ’s less fleshy hips, but he continued to thrust hard, letting his thick member drag over TJ’s wonderfully sensitive prostate once in awhile. He wasn’t _into_ the military kink like Steve, but he knew TJ liked the respect of the titles, so he allowed it. It didn’t _bother_ Bucky, after all, to be in the dom position but to be at a lesser level in the hierarchy. “Am I clear on protocol, brother mine? If you aren’t going to tell Captain about stretching yourself for playing with me, you better let _me_ play more!”

TJ nodded, gasping and panting as Bucky stroked over his prostate, “yes . . . oh - - yes, Sergeant . . . I - - I understand.”

“Oh? After a handful of light, playful taps you _understand_? I doubt it,” Bucky growled, “but you will. I’ll help you understand in time.” Letting out a sigh of mock exasperation, Bucky moaned, “I can see you’re going to need a lot of reminders to help keep you on the right path. But, Captain and I will make you a good boy, yet. He’s far too lenient if he’s letting you run around plugged in secret, naughty, naughty, TJ!” Bucky began to pick up his pace, thrusting harder, faster, and as deeply as he could, again and again. “I want you to cum for me, big brother. Once I see how far you are, I can just how much punishment you need. So,” and Bucky angled a bit to slam up into TJ’s prostate as he bottomed out, he growled low and almost menacingly, “cum for me now!”

With a silent scream of pleasure, TJ’s back arched, almost painfully so, as he came, striping his abdomen and chest with thick, white ropes of cum. His walls tightened and convulsed around Bucky’s cock as he rode out the pleasurable waves of his orgasm.

With a low growl he buried in TJ’s shoulder, Bucky came right behind his brother, jet after hot jet forcing its way into TJ’s tight passage until, as he had every time Bucky had sex with him, TJ’s ass overflowed and cum mixed with liberal lube began to leak out with every continued hard thrust. “What an obedient boy!” Bucky praised in his growl. “I can teach you yet!”

TJ mewled, practically limp from his orgasm, “wanna be good . . .” he slurred with a small, blissed out smile.

“Well,” Bucky kissed TJ’s lips tenderly, smiling down at his sleepy twin, “you’re a long way from there, but you can be taught. You’ve done good this morning, brother mine. I’m gonna fill you while you nap. Then you will wake up and know who you’re with, and that I’m gonna help you be Captain’s good boy, because we both love Captain and he deserves a good boy.”

TJ nodded his agreement, “yes . . . Sir deserves good . . .”

Bucky reached down and slapped TJ’s hip very lightly over the bruise, “ _Sir_? Do I look like an officer? I _work_ for a living. Call me Bucky or brother or even Sergeant, but I am _not_ Sir, my love.”

“W - - was talking about Captain . . .” TJ muttered.

Bucky grinned, knowing full well what TJ had been saying, but he didn’t retract his minor discipline. “Good, at least you know your place today. Good boy. Sleep.” He curled protectively around his brother and shifted them so they lay on their sides, still joined. Wrapping his arms around TJ to keep him close, Bucky gave a satisfied sigh. “I love you, brother mine.”

“I love you, Buck,” TJ murmured, pressing as close as possible to his brother before letting himself drift off.


	12. Plans Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PTSD dealing, very intense; discussion of suicide attempt

Steve chuckled softly as he traced a finger down TJ’s belly. The pair lay in their big bed, totally nude, and the early morning light splashed between the curtains in a bow across Steve’s cheek, shoulder, and hip.

TJ groaned sleepily, “do you ever believe in sleeping in?”

“Nah, gotta get up for my run,” he answered. “But you can go back to sleep, baby. I’ll take care of the fur babies.” He leaned over and kissed TJ’s belly.

“Yeah, but then you’ll just come in and bug me again,” TJ grumbled, nuzzling the pillow.

“Depends on how long _sleep in_ means,” Steve chuckled, getting up from the bed. He pulled out his exercise clothes and an inhaler and headed into the living room before dressing. The first extremely large hurdle in their relationship had been crossed, in Steve’s estimation, and Elaine, Bud, and Nana had returned to DC by the previous evening. True, they had fled because of a sudden hitch in the campaign, and Doug’s defection hadn’t gone over so well, but the three were gone without dragging TJ back with them.

Steve pulled on his clothes, pocketed his inhaler, keys, wallet, and phone, and went to tend the animals. He leashed Phil and headed out for his morning run, letting his mind wander over their continuing problems. He hadn’t heard back from the Met, which wasn’t too big a problem as it had only been six days, but what if . . . what if he didn’t get that job? What else could he apply for that would allow him to follow art while making enough to keep his fiancee in health and comfort? Teaching might not be an option if the Academy blacklisted him.

Meeting up with Sam, Steve pondered his problems, his worries, and finally said, “Sam?” He was going to test the waters. “TJ and I are getting married.”

Sam quirked a brow, looking up from where he’d been tying his shoes; he was still trying to get used to Steve being more than strictly hetero. Sam didn’t have a problem with it or anything, but he’d known Steve for years and the blond had never told him . . . hadn’t even hinted that he was anything but _‘straight.’_ “Yeah? I didn’t know you guys had been together that long. Congrats, man.”

“We’ve known each other less than a month,” Steve confirmed.

“Wait,” Sam straightened and looked at Steve, “you’re getting married . . . and you’ve only known each other for a month?”

Nodding, Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “I love him,” Steve said simply.

“That’s great, man, love is an important thing in a marriage,” Sam nodded before continuing, “but . . . do you even know his favorite color? Or what toothpaste he uses?”

Blinking, realizing that Sam didn’t know, Steve smiled. “We’ve been living together since the day after we met. I know what makes him . . . happy.” He didn’t elaborate that, but hoped Sam would get the reference.

“That sub and dom thing . . .” Sam nodded, remembering the display of control Steve had shown after TJ had been attacked at the academy.

“Not just that, but yeah, it’s a big part,” Steve rubbed his neck again. “TJ argued with his mom that he wants to be with me, too. His mom is the Secretary of State.” He waited for that to sink in, since anyone following politics would know what a dynamo Elaine Barrish was.

“I know. I’ve actually met her once, quite a woman,” Sam nodded, “when are you two planning on getting hitched, then?”

“Well, I’ve got a resume in with the Met and if I get that job, it’ll be within three months of that, unless TJ manages to convince me to get married sooner. He’s tried,” Steve smiled in remembered pleasure, quite willing to just forgo the engagement and elope with his lover. “If I don’t get that job, I’m not sure when, but I’d still like to make it soon. I don’t want TJ thinking I’m only marrying him because of a job requirement. And I need to have backups in case the Met doesn’t want me. I need to make enough to support TJ and me.”

“He’s not getting another job?” Sam asked, looking slightly worried.

“Not sure, didn’t talk about it. But that’s his right. If he wants one, I’ll be more than happy to help him find one or whatever. But I don’t want to have to rely on his working to make ends meet. TJ’s said he’s happy just being a house husband.” Steve smiled at Sam, totally smitten by his fiancee.

“And you’d be okay, supporting him emotionally and financially for the rest of his life?” Sam questioned again.

Smile widening into a near dreamy look, Steve nodded. “I’d love that.” Shaking himself, Steve looked seriously at Sam. “We’ve agreed to go to counseling for our problems, Sam. And I think couples counseling right from the start might help if we can find one not bent on _‘fixing’_ us for our kinks.”

Sam nodded, clapping Steve’s shoulder, “well, I wish you two the best, really. Congrats, man. Maybe we can double date, Riley has been wanting to meet you.” He watched Steve closely.

“Riley?” Steve looked confused. “Um . . . who’s Riley?” He sounded sheepish, realizing that by keeping himself private, he’d also kept himself out of his friends’ lives.

“My husband, Steve,” Sam grinned.

Blinking, Steve took that in. “You’re married?” Then it further hit him and Steve nervously smiled, “to a man?” He sounded somewhat relieved, too. One of his good friends was married to another man? And all this time, he’d been afraid of being shunned by Sam? Steve felt like a fool for all of two seconds before he reminded himself that his opinions had been skewed by the military.

Chuckling, Sam nodded, “yeah, he works down at the Brooklyn VA. He’s a PTSD counselor. Been working there ever since he got out four years ago.”

“And they know he’s married to a man?” Steve couldn’t help the shocked question.

“Sure do,” Sam nodded, “I pick him up every day after he gets off. That or they think I’m a crazy stalker or something,” the dark-skinned man laughed, shaking his head.

“But . . . the VA is military . . . and he’s . . .” Steve’s head reeled and he bent over double as if to catch his breath, hands on knees, leash loose in his weakened grip.

“Gay?” Sam’s smile faded and he lunged forward to grab Phil’s leash before the puppy could run off, “Steve? You okay, man? Is it your asthma?”

“But, the military doesn’t . . . gay . . .” he shook his head and fell back to sit hard on his butt, pale and dazed and shaking. “And he’s allowed to work there? With normal people?”

“Normal?” Sam sounded just as confused as he looked, “I mean, yeah, a few years back we had to keep things hush, hush, but now? The military _can’t_ care that he’s gay.”

Nodding, hand going to his head at the wave of dizziness, Steve said, “I know they repealed _Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell_ . . . but is it safe for him to let people know? I mean . . . he could get hurt, attacked . . .” Steve shuddered, hugging himself.

“So can anyone walking on the street?” Sam tilted his head, watching his friend closely, slowly understanding why Steve might have kept his sexuality to himself. Obviously _something_ had happened to Steve after speaking about his sexuality.

“And they’ll _blame_ him!” Steve shook his head, heart racing, tears coming to his eyes as the fears began to wash over him again. “Say he should’ve kept his mouth shut. He was asking for it.”

“Blame him? Steve, calm down, man. I don’t want to have to take you to the hospital,” Sam knelt down, still holding the leash, in front of his friend.

Still clutching his own arms, Steve bent almost double, burying his face in his bent knees, shuddering, trying to breath but feeling the catch in his chest.

Rubbing Steve’s back, Sam frowned, “Steve . . . c’mon man, take some deep breaths, yeah?”

“Inhaler,” he muttered miserably, trying to fight the catch, but his mind reeled and he couldn’t think clearly. All he could see was Sam, since he didn’t know what the unknown Riley looked like, being cornered and forced to endure what had happened seven years ago . . . the pain, the humiliation, the fear . . . the _uncleanness_ . . . Steve began to struggle to breathe.

Sam, knowing exactly where Steve kept his inhaler, reached into the pocket and handed it over to the blond. Obviously Steve had suffered during his stint in the military, from what he could gather, it was something to do with _someone_ finding out Steve’s sexuality and hurting him because of that.

Shaking his medicine, which was not easy with trembling hands, Steve fumbled the cap off, dropping it on the ground, and began to take his prescribed two drags of medicine. He buried his face in both hands, the inhaler still gripped in his right, and sobbed.

A lithe blond woman in jogging clothes knelt down by Steve’s other side. She asked, “what’s happened? Can I help? I’m an emergency room nurse.” She took Steve’s unresisting wrist and began checking his pulse, studying his physical appearance for symptoms.

“He’s having an asthma attack, I think,” Sam answered and then looked down at the phone he’d accidentally pulled out with Steve’s inhaler. Thinking quickly, Sam opened the blond’s phone and called Bucky to let him know what was going on.

The woman nodded and began helping Steve, talking to him calmly as she pulled out her own phone. “I can call the ambulance if you wish?”

Bucky answered, “yeah, Bucky here?”

“Steve is having an asthma attack,” Sam reported bluntly, looking at Steve with worried eyes. His breathing seemed to be easing a bit, but not as quickly as it had in past attacks in front of Sam.

“Oh, okay,” Bucky sounded alert and worried. “Has his inhaler helped at all?”

“A little? Not like it usually does, though . . . he’s uh - - crying?” Sam said.

“What triggered it? Exercise? Stress? Maybe allergic reaction?” Bucky asked, sounding like he was getting dressed quickly.

“I told him about my husband that works at the VA?” Sam answered.

“Shit,” Bucky said, “okay, it’s stress. Hospital won’t help him, Sam. He needs TJ. Can you get him home? Do you need me to come help you? You know where he lives?” He seemed to pull his face from the phone and told someone, “Steve’s having a flashback!”

“Yeah, I know where he lives,” Sam confirmed.

“No, Doug, it’s okay. He’ll calm down with TJ and his nebulizer. I’m gonna go down and meet Sam when he brings him in.” Bucky put the phone back to his face and instructed, “get him here, Sam, as safely as you can. I’ll get TJ up and the nebulizer mixed.”

“Alright,” Sam hung up, pocketed the phone and moved over to Steve, “Steve? C’mon, man, let’s get you to TJ, yeah?”

Obediently, Steve let the unknown blonde woman and his friend, Sam, help him up.

For his part, Bucky pocketed his phone and rushed from the apartment, leaving his wife and confused cousins behind. He ran up the steps to TJ’s apartment and began banging on the door loudly. “TJ!”

TJ was still lying under the comforter, Luna curled up beside him. The day before had been draining and mentally exhausting. He blinked awake when he heard a loud pounding on the door. TJ slipped out of bed, nearly tripping over Luna again as she scurried off, and grabbed pants. Pulling them on as he walked into the living room, the brunet fastened the drawstring as he approached the door.

“TJ! It’s Steve!” Bucky’s obvious voice called out, meaning he wasn’t identifying himself.

Opening the door, eyes worried by Bucky’s tone, he asked, “what happened? Is he okay?”

Bucky looked worried and ran in. He headed directly to the bedroom and began setting up the nebulizer, carefully measuring out the meds and hooking up the tubing and atomizer. “Sam called and said Steve started having an attack when Sam mentioned his husband works at the VA. I think Steve’s flashing back. Sam’s bringing him home.” Glancing at his brother, Bucky shook his head, “I thought Steve knew Sam’s husband worked at the VA!”

“Why would he? Probably never asked,” TJ rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up so he could be ready for Steve when he got home.

Bucky nodded and sighed, “because they run together all the time so I thought maybe they’d talked before?” Bucky finally headed for the door. “I’m going down to meet Sam, okay? Maybe lock up Luna so she doesn’t get underfoot or out the door.” Bucky hurried out.

TJ picked up Luna and shut her in his unused room. He went to the kitchenette and got a cold glass of water for his boyfriend; he set the glass on the bedside table. Walking back to the kitchen he also poured Steve a mug of coffee which he set by the glass of water. After making sure Steve would have something to drink when getting back, TJ poured himself a mug of coffee and drank it in large sips as he waited for them to return.

Bucky pushed open the door, assisting Sam and an unknown woman in helping Steve, still somewhat wheezy and coughing, into the apartment and to the bedroom. Phil whimpered as he kept up with the humans. Bucky situated Steve, with help, on the edge of the bed and gave him his nebulizer. “TJ? In here?” he called out to let TJ know they were set up. Bucky finally took the leash from Sam.

TJ hurried into the bedroom and knelt in between Steve’s legs, nuzzling Steve’s thighs, cooing gently to his scared lover. TJ muttered words of endearment and encouragement, trying to calm the large blond down while Steve settled with his medicine.

Bucky guided Sam and the unknown helper from the room, softly shutting the door. “Thanks,” he said. “Steve’ll be okay in TJ’s care. He’s handled this before. Steve had a bad time in the military, because of his sexuality, and was abused for it. He gets bad flashbacks that trigger his asthma.” Bucky sighed. “They’re still looking for a counselor who can help them.”

Sam frowned and looked at the hallway.

The blonde woman nodded and offered, “the military has come a long way since _Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell_. They’ve got excellent Post Traumatic counselors.”

“Riley is a PTSD counselor,” Sam supplied, “I can leave his number for them if you think they’d be interested?”

“Yes, TJ will help Steve get the courage to go. Thanks, Sam.” Bucky met his friend’s eyes. “Steve needs to deal with this, to know he’s not the one at fault.”

The blonde dragged a hand through her short curls. Smiling, she offered a hand, “we never met. I’m Sharon Carter.”

The name caused Bucky to startled. “Carter? That’s a coincidence.” He shook her hand. “Bucky Barnes. This is Sam Wilson. In the other room are TJ Hammond and Steve Rogers.”

Sam shook the woman’s hand with a smile when she offered it.

“Wait, Rogers? As in History Teacher at the Brooklyn Academy of Learning Rogers?” Sharon asked, smile widening. “My cousin Peggy’s boyfriend . . . or former boyfriend.” She let the smile fade a bit.

Bucky blinked in shock. “Totally small world. Yeah, the same. This is awkward.”

“Maybe a bit, but she’s only had good things to say about him. In fact, I was on my way to meet her and her wife, Liz, when I saw Steve’s distress and jumped in.” Sharon shook her head, looking bemused. “And TJ, in the other room, is his new boyfriend? Peggy’ll be relieved that he moved on and found someone.”

Bucky nodded and looked to Sam. “Sorry this is so . . . everything?”

Sam nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, “yeah . . . crazy morning, huh?”

“Yeah, but nothing new with my family. Hey, how’s things at the academy since Steve was fired for his sexuality?” Bucky wanted to know if the truth had been told or they’d given some bullshit cover-up story.

Looking a bit nervous, Sam sighed and shook his head, “they told everyone you and Steve were fired for starting a brawl on campus with another teacher.”

“They told everyone I was fired?” Bucky started laughing, shocked. “I quit! TJ quit because of the attack. Nat quit because of the same reason. Steve was fired for helping TJ and _‘interfering,’_ but we knew the real reason. He came out to Fury big time. And I quit on principle since they couldn’t keep people safe. Rumlow raped my brother and then tried again, Sam. He’s in jail and there’s an investigation, but that’s what’s happened.”

Eyebrows rising, Sam looked shocked, “Rumlow tried . . .” True he’d been in the hall when Steve had managed to get TJ to go into the music room that last day, but everything had been so confusing, Sam hadn’t managed to piece together the real trauma.

“And they got it on CCTV, too,” Bucky assured Sam. “It’s all on tape.”

“I _knew_ something was off on the first day of school!” Sam exclaimed, shaking his head.

“Yeah, Rumlow did it once and managed to really mess with TJ. But he succeeded on getting himself caught this time. Be careful, Sam. Not that I’m about hiding, but they knew TJ’s gay, and they found out about Steve’s sexuality. And neither were treated very well.”

“You think they . . . you said that they held you up with stupid questions right before the attack, right?” Sam asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah, about TJ’s grading methods. He wouldn’t let the kids push him into grading easy. I was supposed to be meeting him after school so he wouldn’t be an easy target. I was late,” Bucky growled.

“How would Rumlow have _known_ TJ would’ve been alone? Everyone knew you three never left him alone . . .” Sam started, but was cut off by Sharon.

“Wait,” Sharon interrupted. “It sounds like, to me, an outsider, that this Rumlow had an in . . . like he was on good terms with those that stopped Bucky with dumb questions?”

“Who stopped you, Bucky?” Sam asked firmly.

“Zola, the head counselor,” Bucky growled, eyes narrowed.

“Makes sense, Rumlow and Zola were close,” Sam nodded.

“And Pierce was there that day, too,” Bucky said slowly. “You know, member of the school board . . .”

“But . . . why would the Admin want TJ raped? That is what doesn’t make sense,” Sam shook his head.

Shaking his head, Bucky moaned, “no, I’ve been stupid and blind. They didn’t care if TJ was raped. Pierce is a Republican running for office!” He looked at Sam. “TJ’s mother is Elaine Barrish, Democratic Presidential candidate!”

“You think Pierce had TJ attacked just because of a presidential run?” Sam asked, looking a bit skeptical.

Bucky pulled out his phone, shaking his head. He dialed a number very carefully, despite his anger and worry. When the other side was picked up, Bucky walked towards the bathroom saying, “Yeah, hey, Uncle Bud. TJ needs your help.”

“That Rogers boy didn’t hurt him, did he?” Bud sounded suddenly serious, listening intently.

“Nope, the school did,” Bucky growled. “This is gonna sound weird, but I think you'll understand. There was a teacher named Brock Rumlow who was hitting on various teachers. He tried to rape Nat, and the Admin turned a blind eye. He cornered TJ and raped him.. Well, Brock’s the one who cornered TJ the second time and gave him that bad eye . . . the one I stopped as he tried to rape TJ _again_.” Bucky took a breath, “and both times were caught on camera. Thing is, Uncle Bud, TJ said not to use the first footage because he’s ashamed and bottling things up. And it gets more fun. PIerce . . . _Alexander_ Pierce is on the school board of the academy. He was there that day, when one of the staff delayed me from meeting TJ, giving Brock his one and only opening to TJ . . . something everyone knew never happened.” Bucky finally fell silent.

“Okay,” Bud’s voice drawled, “so you think Pierce may have something to do with the attacks?”

“Yeah,” Bucky responded promptly, “And even worse? Uncle Bud, we don’t have the tapes. _Admin_ still does.”

“Wait . . . you tellin’ me that snake Pierce still has tapes of my boy being . . .” Bud growled low.

“Raped, yeah,” Bucky agreed. “Aunt Elaine said she’d get her lawyer to work the case, but she doesn’t know even half the information I just told you. _You_ are the one who understands what it means to be in a questionable event. You are the one who can help TJ understand and help him legally. Being engaged to a teacher who was fired for his sexuality might somehow be spun in a sympathetic arch for Brock . . . or at least against TJ?”

“I’ll make sure this information gets to the right people and get those damn tapes out of Pierce’s hands. But,” Bud took a deep breath, “you will need to warn TJ, it’s very likely someone might leak the tapes before we get our hands on it.”

“Yeah, I’ll have Steve help me with that once TJ’s got him pulled from his damn flashback. He’s dealing with his own rape memories, Bud.” Bucky ran his hand through his hair. “Just to warn you, Uncle Bud.” He didn’t think that would interfere with TJ’s case, but for TJ it could be a problem, anyway.

Sighing, Bud said, “both those boys need counseling from the sound of it.”

“We’re trying, and one of our friends in a PTSD military counselor, so we might have an in for Steve. Thanks, Uncle Bud, I think your help will show TJ that you care . . . he always needs reminding these days. Sean got him really screwed up.”

“I know,” Bud said on a growl, “I’m going to get in touch with the lawyers. Have TJ call me when he gets a chance, okay?”

“You got it, Uncle Bud. And thanks for taking my call. I know we didn’t part yesterday on such easy terms. Doug and Anne are planning on a shopping trip soon, too, so Doug’s really doing the relaxing thing he claimed,” Bucky tried to relieve Bud’s mind that it wasn’t a rebellion that had both sons running to New York.

“I know, thank you for letting me know, James,” Bud said.

Sighing, Bucky smiled, “Bucky. From my middle name, Uncle Bud. You know, after _President_ Buchanan?” He continued, “just thought you’d like to know, I like Bucky.”

Laughing, Bud said, “Bucky it is.”

“Thanks, Uncle Bud. Talk to you later, after I go back to see if TJ needs help with Steve.” Bucky hung up, letting Bud worry about searching out Steve’s military records, and the truth, if he wanted to.

Bucky walked out of the bathroom and looked relieved. “We’ve got some power on TJ’s side,” he announced with a mischievous smile. “Former President Hammond is going to give it a look. You know, the victim’s _father_.” His eyes met Sam’s.

Sam looked nervous and angry, his phone clutched tightly in his hand, “Bucky . . . might want to turn on the news . . .”

Frowning, Bucky headed over to Steve’s television and flipped on the news. He watched, becoming angrier and angrier as he heard what they reported. “My God! Already? What the hell!” He grabbed his phone out and dialed his uncle. “Bud,” he skipped the formalities, “it’s been leaked!”

“Shit!” Bud snapped.

“On the news right now,” Bucky growled, near tears but fighting mad.

A few moments passed, the faint noise of Bud turning on a television could be heard, “dammit! You stay with your brother, you hear me? Do not let him out of your sight.”

“Not going anywhere! I won’t let him see the news until you give me the go ahead.” Bucky immediately flicked off the television, though he looked at Sam. “Keep me informed, Sam. What else do you need, Bud?”

“You handle TJ, I’ll take care of the legal stuff,” Bud informed firmly. 

“Got it. Thanks, Uncle Bud,” Bucky said. He hung up and dialed Nat’s cell phone.

Sam winced as he looked at his phone, “it’s trending . . .”

Nodding, Bucky said, “Uncle Bud can handle it, Sam. You haven’t heard maybe three fourths of the real scandals he was involved in.” He held the phone to his ear. “Nat, turn on the news. Don’t let Doug tell TJ. Uncle Bud’s checking into it.”

Natasha cursed under her breath after a few minutes, most likely watching the story on the news which was on repeat, “TJ hasn’t seen this?”

“No, he’s closeted in the bedroom with Steve. Thank the lord Steve had a flashback and asthma attack, odd as that gratitude sounds. Kept TJ in the bedroom.” Bucky shook his head, glancing to the closed door. He walked over to TJ’s room and let Luna out before she made a fit and drew one of the men from the other room. “I’ll find a way to confiscate their phones so the reporters don’t start hounding.”

“Bucky . . . he’s going to find out eventually,” Natasha said.

“I know. But I wanna tell him, not the damn news!” Bucky swore. “Love you.” He hung up and headed to the bedroom with a soft knock. “Guys?”

A few moments later, TJ opened the door, looking relaxed and happy.

Steve lay on the bed, breathing normally, equipment cleaned up and put away. He smiled a bit, looking relaxed but not like he’d spent any serious time in heavy activity like sex. Just like he’d been relaxing and talking or cuddling or something along those lines.

Bucky offered a smile, tight and worried, to TJ. “I’m confiscating your phones, but I’ll explain why. You just have to give them over before I’ll tell you. And I mean right now.” He held out his hand.

TJ looked confused, smile fading, head tilted to the side, “what . . . why?”

Steve’s phone rang, and Bucky ordered sharply, “don’t answer that!” He walked over and took the phone from the bedside table and turned, holding his hand out to his brother. “Phone, now. I promise to explain.” He ignored the continual ringing of Steve’s phone.

Sitting up slowly, frowning, Steve nodded. “Go ahead, TJ, give him your phone, baby. Let’s see what Bucky has to say.”

Looking worried, TJ slowly handed over his damaged phone.

Nodding, Bucky handed the phones out the door to Sam, but not his own. “Watch those for them.” He then shut the door, shutting the pets out for the moment. “Sit, TJ, please. This is going to be hard to hear.”

Steve offered his arms to his boyfriend, frowning in worry. “Let me hold you?” He had no idea what Bucky was worried about, but knew his best friend well enough that he took this dramatic approach very seriously, especially as Bucky would normally be holding TJ; this had to be damn serious.

TJ sat down, allowing Steve’s arms to wrap around him.

Bucky nodded and sank to the foot of the bed. “Okay, remember that Alexander Pierce was in the Admin office the day we left the academy?”

Nodding, TJ looked like he was getting more nervous as each second passed.

“Well, he’s on the school board, and he leaked your tapes.” It was blunt, to the point, but it was like a bandage. Rip it fast and the pain will be less. “He knew who you are, TJ.”

TJ paled, his whole body beginning to tremble.

Steve held TJ tighter and pulled him close, dropping kisses to his collared neck. As if they were in a scene, where Steve was in total control, Steve said firmly, “check in, baby.”

“No . . . no . . .” TJ shook his head frantically.

TJ tore himself from Steve’s arms, wobbling a bit from the shock of the news. Not only had he been viciously raped once, and then almost raped a second time . . . but now, the entire _world_ got to see it. Millions of people were able to sit and watch as Brock brutalized him . . . watch TJ’s futile attempts to get free. It was like being raped all over again.

He grabbed one of his shirts, pulling it roughly over his head, and slipped his feet into a pair of shoes. He needed to get air . . . he felt like he was suffocating. His entire body trembled violently; the initial panic he felt over the news faded into a deep, overwhelming _anger_. How dare Alexander _fucking_ Pierce leak those tapes . . . TJ wanted to march up to the man’s mansion and beat the holy living hell out of him.

He pushed past Bucky on his way out of the room. He needed space . . . he needed air.

Steve grabbed and missed but Bucky managed to haul TJ backwards and flush against him, ignoring Sam and Sharon as he buried his face in TJ’s neck. “Don’t go, big brother. Stay and talk to me.”

“I don’t want to _talk_ ,” TJ snapped, wrenching out of Bucky’s hold, he looked livid and hurt. “I need air, or am I not allowed to go outside?”

Steve walked over and immediately unfastened the soft leather choker from TJ’s neck. He frowned but reached over for the metal choker instead, easing it on over the fading bruises. “Not dressed improperly, you're not,” he said firmly. “Sam? I need my inhaler, please.” He pulled the key from inside his shirt, where it hung on his neck chain, and locked the heart clasp.

“I can take a walk on my own,” TJ growled, eyes narrowed; he wasn’t even thinking about the words he spoke, he was so _angry_ , “not my keeper, remember?”

“Lesson one,” Steve barked back, eyes narrowed. He refused to let TJ face the paparazzi that would inevitably be out there - - not alone.

Shaking his head, TJ watched Steve; he didn’t repeat the lesson like he normally would, but his anger seemed to subside slightly.

“Fine, TJ’s tongue is stuck,” Steve kept his tone firm but modulated the anger from it. “Lesson one: Steve takes care of TJ. He doesn’t let TJ face stupid ass reporters with no sensitivity on his own when he finds out his word was ripped apart? Correct?” Steve took TJ’s hand and lifted it to his lips. “Let me face this with you? If you don’t want to talk to me or touch me, I’ll just walk beside you. I love you, TJ. I want to be there for you.”

Sighing, all of TJ’s resolve seemed to crumble; he collapsed against the wall and whimpered.

“Check in, love,” Steve repeated. Every time check in hadn’t been green, Steve had discussed it and made things better.

TJ looked at Steve, looking miserable and like he might be sick at any time, his pale eyes brimming with tears.

Steve met his eyes, confidence in his very essence. “Check in,” he told TJ a third time.

“Gonna . . . Steve - -” TJ whimpered.

Nodding, he grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and thrust it in TJ’s lap in a bowl type shape. “Go ahead, baby. You go ahead and get sick, love. I’m here.” He figured there wasn’t time to get TJ to the bathroom.

Immediately, TJ threw up, whimpering between heaves. Steve held his lover firmly, but not interfering. He made sure the large blanket caught whatever it could. Soothingly, Steve whispered in TJ’s ear, “Steve Rogers loves TJ Hammond,” over and over again.

Bucky moved to clear the way towards the bathroom, opening that door too and flipping up the toilet seat and cover. He reached over to start a warm bath then hurried to the kitchenette to get water bottles.

Finally, Steve slid from the floor and lifted TJ, blanket and all. He carried him to the bathroom and sat him on the floor, making sure he was positioned to use the toilet between heaves. Bucky took the blanket and began cleaning things up along their passage and back to the front door.

TJ sobbed, no more vomit came out but his body continued to heave violently; Steve soothingly rubbed TJ’s back, still whispering his love for his fiancee. After a long while, TJ’s heaving subsided, his fingers gripping the toilet tightly. His breathing still came out in gasping sobs and his entire body shook violently.

Reaching up, Steve grabbed the rinsing glass. He scooped up some of the bathwater and told TJ, “rinse and spit into the toilet, baby.” He kissed TJ’s sweaty neck, right above the collars. “There’s my good boy. Rinse your mouth. It’ll help.” Steve carefully slipped the leather twin collar off, setting it on the edge of the sink.

Taking a sip from the glass Steve held for him, he swished it in his mouth and then spat it back out. His skin was flushed, making the lean brunet appear as sick as he felt.

“Good boy,” Steve praised, kissing TJ’s temple. He stood and stripped his lover then eased him into the very warm bath. Steve undressed and slipped in with TJ, cuddling the other man on his lap. “Ready to check in, baby?” He didn’t bother shutting the door to the bathroom or even acknowledging their guests, too invested in helping his fiancee through this latest insult.

“Red,” TJ mumbled brokenly; he ached for a distraction, anything to get his mind off of the story leak . . . he knew, had he gone out alone, he would’ve gotten high, would’ve found the first dealer he could and ruined everything he’d worked so hard for.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Steve kissed his temple. He began gently washing his lover with a soapy washcloth, concentrating on TJ’s chest, rubbing over and over, not really for cleansing but for soothing. “I love you, baby. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it’ll help, but the basics always help. So, lesson one, sweetheart.” He took the time to use his key to unfasten TJ’s outdoor collar and tossed both to the floor nearby.

“S - - Steve Rogers . . . ow- -owns TJ Hammond,” the brunet curled up in Steve’s lap as he repeated the lessons, taking a lot longer than normal due to his sobbing which hadn’t subsided; his body shook with the force of his crying.

Not once did Steve correct TJ for stuttering: this wasn’t borderline sexual pain, it was emotional distress. He let TJ sob, clutch, cuddle, and even curl into a ball. All the while, Steve kept his voice steady and calm, loving and supportive. He took TJ through the rules once then kissed him softly on the Adam’s apple, right over the old bruises. He determined he’d get TJ a waterproof collar, too, so he could always feel the comfort of wearing one. “Okay, baby, deep breath. Tell me, who loves TJ?”

“St - - Steve R - -Rogers . . .” TJ stuttered through a gasping breath.

“And who does TJ love?” Steve asked gently, lifting TJ’s hand to kiss his fingers.

“Steve Ro - -Rogers . . .” TJ whimpered, listening to the steady beat of Steve’s heart.

“And, my love, who is Steve?” He waited for TJ to start using his brain on something other than the horror, challenging TJ to think so he could be a bit distracted, distanced. There were many answers TJ could give.

“Y - -you?” TJ cried, sniffling.

“Exactly,” Steve smiled and kissed TJ’s palm in reward. “So, I love TJ. And who is TJ?”

“M - - me?” TJ nuzzled Steve’s firm chest, breath hitching with sobbing gasps.

“So, I. Love. _You_.” Steve stated firmly each word as an independent phrase. “And, You. Love. _Me_.” He kissed TJ’s neck. “This means that I will take care of you, help you, and stand by you _no matter what_. Right?”

“B - - but every - - everyone will kn - - know . . .” TJ cried brokenly, clutching at Steve’s arm tightly. “T - - they’ll s - - see wh - - what he did . . .”

“Everyone will know what a beautiful, loving, sensual man I’m lucky enough to be engaged with? A man who was brutally abused by an asshole who couldn’t appreciate my beautiful, sensual love. And when my love turned that asshole away, that asshole tried to take it brutally, when he wasn’t entitled. Is that what everyone will know?” Steve smiled gently at TJ. “That Rumlow is a rapist and selfish and dangerous and should be kept away from honest, good people?”

Sobbing softly, TJ buried his face into Steve’s chest, clutching at the larger man’s arm tight enough that it was borderline bruising, his nails scratching into his boyfriend’s arms.

“Baby, do you remember when I told you, even one _yes_ does not mean an automatic _yes_ every time. Even if you begged and enjoyed at _any_ time, you have the right to say _no_ whenever you wish. It’s _your_ body. Rumlow assaulted you, and no amount of tapes can change that. Now, the defense lawyer’s gonna have a hell of a time convincing _anyone_ that Rumlow’s innocent.” Steve kissed his neck then his palm. “Do you believe me? Tell me the truth.”

“T - - they’ll th- - think I as - - asked f - - for it!” TJ cried out, “there’s n - - no aud - -audio!”

“Fair point,” Steve admitted. “Let’s take this one at a time. Do you believe me that you have the right to say _no_?”

“Yes . . .” TJ whimpered.

Nodding, Steve smiled. “And do you believe that the second tape shows Rumlow assaulting you. That there is no way someone, seeing that tape alone, will misconstrue what happened?”

“Y - - yes . . .” TJ sniffled.

“And do you believe, alone, the first tape shows you fighting? Pushing away the bastard? Refusing him?” Steve prompted softly.

“Y - - yes . . .” TJ whimpered.

“Then there’s your answer, baby. The tapes show the crime we are charging him with. So Pierce releasing them hurts Rumlow’s case. Even supposed boyfriends, as Rumlow’s claiming, can say _no_ , and those tapes show you saying _‘no’_ rather forcefully.” Steve smiled and kissed TJ’s palm. “Now, we need to find out just what the news is saying. That way we can discuss it with our lawyers, correct?”

“I - - I don - - don’t wan - - want to s - - see it . . .” TJ’s voice took on a pleading tone, head shaking desperately. “D - - don’t wanna . . . li - -live it again!”

Shaking his head, Steve said, “TJ, listen to me. I said _‘we need to find out what they’re saying,’_ I never said to watch the news or even listen to it. Bucky’s been watching, and we know he’ll tell us the truth, correct?”

Whimpering pitifully, TJ nuzzled Steve’s chest, not answering the question.

A soft knock on the bathroom door alerted the pair before Bucky walked in and shut the door behind him, looking at the nude pair in the tub. “TJ? I called Uncle Bud. He’s going to take care of Pierce and the tapes. He’s contacting his lawyers plus the ones Aunt Elaine already had on the academy case.”

“Bu - - But it’s al - - already be- - been see - - seen . . .” TJ began to sob again.

Bucky blinked and nodded. “TJ, for a guy who spent his life in politics you are refreshingly innocent. Those tapes were leaked illegally. Evidence from a criminal case. My God, no court in the land will allow that to go unpunished. And if they can catch the leak, someone’s going down for tampering and all kinds of crimes. If Rumlow had a hand, he’s gone for a few decades at the least. If it’s Pierce, he’s jeopardized his career in politics. Uncle Bud knows how to find who leaked what and how. He’s spent a lifetime dodging sex scandals. And your’s is a legitimate case, not some scandal in the gossip pages. The cops will be throwing themselves into this one big time!” Bucky walked over, still keeping his eyes on TJ’s face, and reached over to pull his twin into a hug. “We got this. They overplayed their hand. If they hadn’t jumped the gun, they could have convinced the courts to ignore that tape, since you said not to. But now, they’ve broken the law. Uncle Bud’s lawyers are crowing in delight.”

“Bu - - but p - - people ha - - have see - - seen it . . .” TJ repeated, too far gone to see the logic behind what Bucky was saying.

Stripping and sliding into the tub in front of Steve, TJ now on both their laps they had to sit so close, Bucky began caressing his brother’s arm and hip. “Yeah, both clips played, TJ. They saw everything and it’s trending. But the caption is something you might be pleased with, relatively speaking. They’ve labeled it, _‘First Son assaulted.’_ Not the best, but definitely more people are on your side then not. Turns out that without audio, you can still very easily read your lips when you tell Brock to leave you alone, TJ.” Bucky put a hand on his neck. “I don’t think Pierce counted on the internet and all the deaf viewers out there translating _for_ you. TJ, whether you were happy or not, you wound up with a lot of people who loved you for coming out. And those people, the gay rights, the other sexual spectrums, the victims of violence . . . you have gone viral in half an hour and three fourths of them are screaming for blood.”

Steve nuzzled TJ’s neck, slowly transferring TJ onto Bucky’s lap so the twins could cuddle. “I think Pierce didn’t take into consideration that the academy is going to look bad to the parents. Even if it had been consensual, sex in the classrooms where a student might wander by? They’re gonna get it big time for not better policing their staff.” Steve stroked TJ’s chest with the soapy cloth again. “Baby? This is a lot of information. I need you to tell me lesson one.”

TJ stuttered through the first lesson, clutching his brother desperately, and Steve took him through all six. Not using any of them to claim anything about the current events. Instead, he was concentrating on grounding TJ, pulling him away from the news and back to them, as a family. Finally, Steve kissed TJ’s palm. “Good, TJ. And who loves who?”

Sobs finally beginning to dwindle, leaving TJ gasping, the lean brunet muttered, “S - - Steve lo - - loves T - - TJ.”

“And?” Steve prompted, smiling.

“T - - TJ loves . . . St - - Steve . . .” TJ sniffled, nuzzling Bucky’s neck.

“My precious love. My good boy.” Steve kissed TJ’s neck. “Who else loves TJ?”

“B - - Bucky,” TJ whimpered.

“You got that right, big brother.” Bucky hugged his twin. “If it’s worth anything, Bucky loves TJ, too.”

“I - - I love y- - you, too, B - - Buck,” TJ breathed out.

Smiling, Bucky dropped a kiss to his brother’s forehead. “Look, Nat will field everything tonight. I took your phones and gave them to her so you don’t have to talk to the media. She’ll keep a running look to see if it’s someone else calling, okay? I want you to listen to Steve and relax a bit with your fur babies, TJ. Your family has this covered. Do you need me to be with you or just Steve?”

Sniffling, breathing beginning to come back under control, TJ nodded, “thank you . . . I - - I need you, too, Bucky . . . please?”

“That’s what family is for, TJ, to help. Sometimes you might not _agree_ with the help, but we try.” Bucky kissed TJ’s head again and slid out from under his brother, grabbing for a towel to wrap around his hips. “I’ll get Nat to clear the path and the three of us will go settle in the bedroom, brother mine. He walked to the door and opened it very slightly, careful so the pets wouldn’t interrupt TJ’s bath. “Natasha, love? Can you get our guests to another area? Steve and TJ are less dressed for company,” she could see that so was Bucky.

Natasha nodded and turned to look at the two others in the room, “come on, Sam and . . .”

“Sharon,” the blonde woman provided. “I helped Steve through his asthma attack until we got him home.

Nodding, Natasha began to usher them towards TJ’s unused room, “thank you for that . . . why don’t we look and see if the vultures have come yet.”

Neither Sam nor Sharon protested the unusual request, both actually guessing that Steve needed Bucky’s help to get TJ to bed, and none of them wanted to have TJ seen in such a state as he had been heading for.

In the bathroom Steve cuddled TJ closer. He whispered in TJ’s ear, “Check in, baby.”

“Yellow . . .” TJ breathed, breath still hitching, but he was coming down from the harsh sobbing.

“Good, that’s much better. I think we need to get out, brush our teeth, and go cuddle our Bucky. We can put in those new DVD’s I got but haven’t seen. It’s a series about a World War II soldier.” Steve smiled down at his lover, happy to offer TJ a form of disassociation for the moment. “Unless That _Disney_ series doesn’t do it for you? I think it’s called, and I’m gonna blush here, _Captain America_?”

Laughing softly, sniffling, TJ wiped his good eye, still avoiding touching the sore, bruised one. “That sounds fun,” TJ said softly.

Steve very gently took a clean, dry cloth, and brushed it over TJ’s injured eye, barely touching the skin but enough to absorb the tears in passing. He smiled. “Steve loves TJ,” he said. “And that should be lesson number zero. The end all and be all of everything. Steve loves TJ. TJ loves Steve?” he prompted as Bucky turned back to them with a smile and a nod of approval.

Nodding, TJ echoed, “TJ loves Steve.”

Steve stood, carefully standing TJ up, catching him against a large, wet, muscular chest. He snagged one of the still chilly water bottles, uncapped it, and offered it to TJ. “Don’t try to walk yet. You dehydrated then sat in a hot tub. Need to rehydrate to fight the dizziness.”

Nodding, TJ took the bottle with a shaky hand and slowly began to sip at the water. His breath still hitched every once in awhile but he was calming down. He tried not to think about how _millions_ of people saw Rumlow brutalize him . . . how weak TJ was for not being able to get away.

“Get outta your head, baby,” Steve ordered. “Want you to practice lesson two. Tell me, lesson two?” He guided TJ out of the tub and shut the toilet, sitting his lover down and beginning to dry him. Bucky began on the other side, his own flaccid member peaking out from under the hemline of the towel around his waist.

Repeating lesson two, TJ’s hand lifted and his fingers felt no collar there; eyes widening, TJ looked up at Steve, lip trembling, looking on the verge of another break down “I’m sorry! I - - I lost it!”

“TJ? Did I say you lost my collar?” Steve asked, his tone light but steady.

“N - - no . . . bu - - but it’s g- - gone!” TJ exclaimed, fingers still ghosting over the slightly bruised skin.

“And who decides what is right and wrong?” Steve prompted, as if he didn’t notice both collars had gone, beginning to dry himself once he was sure TJ wouldn’t fall off the toilet.

“You do . . .” TJ muttered.

“And did I say a collar removed to keep it safe was a _lost_ collar?” Steve asked, standing and tossing their used towels and stuff into the hamper. He pulled TJ to a standing position.

“N - - no, s - -sir,” TJ answered.

“Then, is the collar lost?” Steve asked, nonchalantly, he pulled the twin collar from the edge of the sink as Bucky lifted the outdoor heart collar and the key, still fitted in the latch, from the floor by the tub. Steve guided his lover into the hall, Bucky walking on TJ’s other side, purposely keeping his attention on his lover. Anyone out there had to understand, they were in Steve’s home. He walked TJ right into the master bedroom, allowing the pets in, then shut the door.

“No, s - - sir,” TJ swallowed, he still trembled and sniffled, his eyes looking from one collar to the next, making sure they truly weren't lost.

“Then, it’s fine. With that bruising, it might be uncomfortable to wear any for long.” Steve smiled. “Do you want your training collar with the lining or a scarf while your neck is so sore?” He sank onto the bed, slipping the leather twin collar to the nightstand.

“Tr - - training collar?” TJ suggested.

“Well,” Steve looked up. “Go get it. It’s on the bureau. Can’t go without a collar, baby. Might forget lesson two.” He smiled as Bucky sank down onto the bed and tossed away his towel.

Nodding, TJ hurried over to the bureau and grabbed the grey collar with the fleece lining already attached.

Steve nodded, “good boy. Now come here so I can make sure it’s on correctly. And if it gets too painful, let me know and we’ll switch out to the choker or a scarf or something. Can you imagine? You walking around in a silk scarf I can tug on whenever you misbehave?” Steve deliberately licked his lips.

The idea made a jolt run down TJ’s spine, and he rethought his decision, “c - - can I change my mind, sir?”

Steve considered the question as seriously as he considered major decision in their lives, as if this was of equal importance to the question of living together or even _having_ a collar. Finally, he nodded. “Not being trained or punished right now, so you can choose your collar.”

“C - - can we try the scarf, sir?” TJ asked.

Steve’s member throbbed in interest and he smiled. “Glad you chose that one, baby.” He stood and walked over to their toy box. Steve wanted to change it from the store cardboard to something more decorative and showy eventually. He opened the box and pulled out the rainbow of scarves, including the silver bondage scarves TJ had originally chosen. “What color are you feeling?”

“Can . . . can you choose?” TJ questioned, setting the training collar back where it belonged.

“I would love to choose. I’m thinking you will look good in this deep blue.” Steve’s favorite color was blue, and TJ had probably figured that out by then. He walked over to TJ and fastened the scarf around his neck. “Now, if it gets too much, tug this shorter end. It’s a slip knot. It’ll come right off. Go ahead, test it for me. See if I did it right.”

Nodding, TJ reached for the shorter end and pulled, making the scarf slip off his neck easily.

“Perfect,” Steve crooned. He tied it again and tugged the longer end, the soft silk didn’t tighten, dragging instead, pulling TJ a bit closer. “How’s that? No choking?”

“No, sir, it’s perfect,” TJ smiled, loving the feeling of the soft silk against his skin almost as much as he loved his leather at-home collar.

“Good, why don’t I wrap your Bucky collar around something to keep the shape?” Steve moved over to the closet and opened it. “Peggy left a damn necklace stand that might work.”

“Wonder if she knew you’d have a collar in the apartment? Whether it be for you or someone else,” TJ mused softly.

Steve glanced over and smiled. “TJ, I’m sure she did. You see, I was her sub, but I think she knew I wasn’t happy as a sub. But I needed the lessons she taught me so I could take care of _you_.”

“You miss her?” TJ asked.

“Yes, she was a good friend, pet. But I miss her mind and kindness and sassiness. I don’t miss her in the bedroom or the kitchen or in my arms while watching movies. Does that make sense?”

TJ nodded, he scooped up Luna and sat on the bed, cuddling the kitten close. Bucky leaned into him with a soft smile. TJ immediately let the kitten curl up and then he cuddled his brother.

Steve turned back to the closet and found the necklace stand, shaped like a neck. He put it on the bureau and fastened the damp collar around it. “Perfect fit.” Turning, Steve offered TJ a smile. “Is there someone you miss, baby?” He sat next to TJ and slipped an arm around him letting Bucky hold him. “Even a lover?”

“Not really,” TJ shrugged, curling with with Luna against Bucky's side.

“I’m sorry that they weren’t good enough to you to merit being missed. You deserve good people and nice treatment. You’re Steve’s good boy.” He nuzzled TJ’s neck and the silk scarf slipped as he did so, sliding across TJ’s skin but not unfastening or tightening. Steve had learned this knot well.

Humming softly, TJ rested his head on Bucky’s chest, listening to his brother's heartbeat. Bucky stroked his fingers through TJ’s curls, turning his face to kiss his brother’s neck as Steve gently stroked his fiancee’s hip and side. The blond made no move to turn on the movies or even lay in the bed. He remained sitting, nude, beside TJ snuggled against Bucky’s heart. Long moments of simply _being_ passed before Steve asked softly, “when do you want our wedding date to be? What day?”

“I - - I don’t know . . . I wanna be TJ Rogers, though . . . I don’t wanna be TJ Hammond anymore,” TJ answered, not moving from his position in Bucky’s lap.

Nodding, Steve asked, “okay, asking a different way. How soon do you want to get married?”

“Whenever you want, Steve,” TJ murmured.

Chuckling, Steve said, “try not to sound too eager, TJ. I’m really curious. If you feel rushed or like things are too slow, I wanna seriously know.” He kissed TJ’s temple.

TJ wanted to say _‘tomorrow,’_ he wanted to be married to Steve. However, the thought of leaving the apartment . . . going outside where people could see him . . . after seeing the videos, made him extremely nervous. Would it be like when he came out at fifteen? When people shouted things at him on the street, complete strangers telling him he was damned to hell, telling him to rot and that _‘a faggot shouldn’t be in the White House.’_

“Someone’s lost in his head. Lesson two,” Steve softly kissed TJ’s temple as he ordered him.

TJ touched the scarf and sighed shakily, leaning heavily against his brother's chest, “I - - I’m scared to leave the apartment . . .”

“Of course you’re scared, baby. That’s normal and natural. The world is a selfish place. Some people want to hurt us. But most don’t. So, I’m asking you, ignore the world. Lesson one?” Steve stroked TJ’s hair back, smiling into his lover’s light colored eyes. He didn’t mind sharing TJ with Bucky in the slightest, knowing TJ loved them both, in different ways.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond . . . but, sir - -” TJ closed his mouth when Steve began to speak.

“And Steve knows what’s best, right?” Steve didn’t give him a chance to argue.

“Yes,” TJ whispered.

“And Steve found two clothing shops, a toy shop, and a grocery store that never batted an eye when Steve corrected his disobedient TJ, correct?” Steve kissed TJ’s neck gently.

“B - - But it’s different now . . .” TJ whimpered, curling into himself tighter. Bucky stroked light fingers down his spine and over his abdomen, staying quiet but very much there with his twin and best friend.

“No, TJ, it’s not,” Steve said, meeting his eyes. “We’ll travel the world and we’ll be forgotten about by the time the next scandal comes up. Give one of the Kardashians a chance, in a week, we’ll be old news.” He smoothed TJ’s hair. “Do you trust me?”

Nodding, TJ confirmed, “yes, sir.”

“Remember, I’m scared of the world, too, TJ. I’ve been hurt by them, too. Correct?” Steve asked.

TJ nodded, hugging his knees to his chest. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to just stay in the apartment with Steve and Bucky. They'd all been hurt too much; they were safe inside the apartment.

“And I found a toy store where the man not only helped us pick our toys, but he measured us without snickering, staring or hurting us, and he let us play in his bathroom, didn’t he?” Steve stroked again.

“Y - - yes,” TJ nodded.

“And I found a grocery store, one of the best ones, that encouraged you to take me home, remember?” Steve smiled softly. “Do you think either of those people will look at us with hate or contempt after seeing the news? Honestly, tell me what you think.”

“I - - I _don’t know_ ,” TJ whimpered, hugging his legs tighter.

“Thank you, TJ, for your honesty.” Steve caressed TJ’s hair. “Are you so scared and worried you’d rather hug yourself than me, baby, or Bucky?”

Looking at Steve, eyes welling with tears again, TJ swallowed and croaked past his tightening throat, “y - - you . . . y - - you shouldn’t . . . I - - I’m not g - - good . . . y -- you and Bucky d - - deserve better. . .”

Steve suddenly barked out, “lesson one!”

Crying, TJ gripped his legs tighter, “St - - Steve Rogers . . . ow - - owns TJ Ha - - Hammond.”

“And who decides if TJ is good or not?” he kept his voice firm, demanding.

“But I’m dirty!” TJ suddenly shouted, sobbing, “and now everyone knows it!”

“You are _not_ dirty. TJ. I bathed you. Remember? When we became a couple? We bathed you inside and out. You are clean. Everyone knows _nothing_. They saw a stupid video of someone forcing you into something you didn’t want. They didn’t see what happened later, when the man who loves you more than breath took you home and cleaned you up and made you pure again. You are no dirtier than I am . . . are we?”

TJ put his head on top of his knees, his back shaking with soft sobs, and his fingers were gripping his legs tight enough to nearly leave bruises, his knuckles white.

“TJ do you love me?” Steve softened his tone. “You can nod or shake your head if you can’t speak this time.”

TJ nodded, not lifting his head from his curled up position, though the side of his body was still pressed firmly to Bucky's.

“And I love you. You were raped by a man.” Steve paused. “I was raped by ten. That makes me ten times dirtier than you.”

Head snapping up, tear-washed eyes wide, TJ shook his head frantically.

“Do you want me to tell the world? Let them know how much dirtier I am than you? That you are nowhere near dirty enough for their attention?” Steve said it in all seriousness. He meant it; he’d tell the world.

“No! Why - - why would you even . . . say that?” TJ asked, breath catching in the back of his throat.

“Because, baby,” Steve finally touched TJ’s arm. “You’re so upset and in so much pain and fear. I’ll deflect it for you. I’ll take that pain and fear for you, baby. I don’t want you hurting so bad you think you can’t ever touch me, the one who loves you more than anyone else ever could, or Bucky, your other half.”

TJ suddenly launched himself at Steve, sobbing loudly as he wrapped his arms tightly around Steve’s neck.

Steve gathered him tight on a sob, burying his face in TJ’s hair and holding on as if for his life. “I _love_ you, TJ. No one can change that. Brock can’t. Pierce cant. Bucky can’t. And nothing you do or happens to you can change it. Because I was created to love you.” Steve drew a breath in and said, even softer, “so, please, baby, trust me when I tell you that the world doesn’t matter. I love you. That’s what matters.”

Nodding, unable to speak due to his tears, TJ buried his face into the crook of Steve’s neck. He shook and sobbed in his fiance's arms.

“Would you feel better if Captain tells you what he has in mind?” Steve offered, stroking TJ’s hair. He still didn’t correct TJ about the lack of voice, there were times when words weren’t possible.

TJ nodded, still hugging Steve tightly, not pulling away.

“I was thinking that no one knows where we live yet. Even Brock. So, I would pack us up in the next couple of days, the really important stuff, and whisk us to a cabin in the woods. And I’d get matched wedding rings. And I’d get a preacher or minister or whatever I can get to come to the cabin and marry us. Hey, maybe in Colorado? We’d be lost among the rich, but not leaving our cabin. I can wait right there for the Met to call or not. And we can start our honeymoon right away.”

“You - - you’d do that?” TJ asked, pulling away to look up at Steve, face red from all the crying.

Nodding, wiping his own eyes, Steve said, “it was actually what I had in mind when I asked how soon you want to get married, TJ.”

“Yes . . .” TJ nodded, agreeing to the plan. He leaned forward and carefully kissed Steve, his lips a little salty from his tears.

Hugging his fiancee closer, Steve murmured, “and by the time we come up for air, Pierce will be caught and he’ll be the one condemned, and a Kardashian and the Olsen Twins will have caused enough ruckus to get the rest of the internet yapping. We’ll be old news by the time we come back out of our cabin.” Steve slid a careful finger under TJ’s chin leaning into the kiss. “And we’ll take our babes with us, just to be sure they’re fine. And we’ll take Bucky and Nat and Sascha if they want.”

“We’ll go, too, TJ. Natasha’s been wanting to get out of the city. Don’t mind if we crash your honeymoon, do you?” Bucky smiled at his twin in Steve’s arms.

TJ looked over at Bucky and shook his head, “n- -no I want you two to come . . .” He looked back at Steve, “And we can leave in a few days?” TJ asked, hoping that Steve wouldn’t make him go out before then.

“Let me get our rings, baby, and we need to pack our toys and clothes and the babies. Take some of our other stuff, like my art supplies and meds. And whatever you want. I think we can be outta here by Monday. It’s Saturday afternoon right now? Tuesday at the latest.” Steve smiled, confidence in his eyes. “WIll you let me get what we need? You can pack us up? Bucky can stay here and help you while I go get the rings?”

Breathing a sigh of relief, TJ nodded, “I can do that, sir.”

Steve kissed TJ once more. “If we’re gonna get out by Tuesday, I need to get to a jewelry store today. Is that okay with TJ?” He didn’t make the call for his lover. This was about TJ feeling comfortable. If he wanted Steve to stay, he’d find another way.

“That’s okay, sir,” TJ nodded, curling up against Bucky’s side once more, laying his head on his twin’s firm chest.

“I think Bucky and Natasha can help you pack if you wish,” Steve smiled broadly. “Hey, baby, want me to wear my grey lace while I’m out?” He stood, still totally nude, mischief in his eyes as he walked to the closet where he kept their special clothing in a set of drawers. He pulled out the grey lace panties that matched his lover’s eyes and slid them on, modeling them for TJ briefly.

“Look pretty, sir,” TJ smiled softly. Bucky still refrained, not wanting to spook Steve with inappropriate teasing. He merely held his twin and caressed his back.

“Thanks, TJ. I need to feel pretty. Today I’m buying the wedding rings I’ll be trading with my husband.” He quickly pulled on slacks and a button down shirt, one of the few shirts that hadn’t shrunk. Pulling on socks, Steve then walked over to TJ and kissed him. “Want a pair of lounge pants, baby? We’ve still got scarlet, dark yellow, dark violet, and off white. Might wanna save the off white. They’re a bit decadent.” He grinned.

“Yes, sir . . . the scarlet ones?” TJ said after only a moment hesitation.

“Great choice. I love you in scarlet.” He walked back over and pulled out the lounge pants and brought them over. “Of course, I love you in any color or none at all.”

TJ smiled and kissed Steve tenderly, lips molding with the blond’s perfectly.

“Love you so much, TJ soon-to-be Rogers.” He knelt down in front of his lover, holding the pants out for TJ to step into.

Smiling wider, TJ slipped off the bed to step into the soft pants and allowed Steve to pull them up his long legs. “I love _you_ , soon-to-be-husband.”

Bucky remained laying on the bed, stretching out, nude, an invitation for TJ to hurry back, though he twitched a blanket over his body for the moment.

Smiling as he stood, kissing TJ’s belly on the way, Steve nodded. “Okay, come on out, baby. Sam and my other rescuer might even still be here.” He paused. “I just found out that Sam’s married . . . to a man who works in the VA . . .”

“Yeah, he told me one time during lunch when you couldn’t meet . . . I’m sorry - - I thought I told you? Or that you already knew? You two are pretty close,” TJ looked at Steve apologetically as he crawled back onto the bed; he cuddled next to his brother, breathing in his twin’s comforting scent.

Bucky wrapped welcoming arms of love around his twin, dropping a kiss on his temple.

Shaking his head, Steve sighed. “I . . . I can’t help but be scared for Sam and his Riley.” He didn’t worry about not knowing sooner, more intent on the safety of his friends, as always.

“Well, Riley has been a PTSD counselor for over four years at the VA and I guess everyone loves him and Sam together . . . they’re safe, Steve,” TJ tried to reassure his lover.

Nodding again, Steve opened the door and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself that things are different, even if they keep looking like the same.” He met Sam’s eyes, noting that the blonde woman still sat there, as well. “Thanks for helping me. Both of you.” He walked from the bedroom, nodding to Natasha in gratitude.

Sam nodded, looking between Steve and Natasha, “no problem, man. Scared the shit outta me, though. Luckily Sharon was there.”

“Sharon? I’m Steve,” he offered the woman his hand. She stood, smiling, and they shook hands. Steve flushed lightly. “I’ve got errands to run. Natasha? Bucky’s gonna stay with TJ. Not sure if you want to remain up here with them . . . oh, but his brother, Doug, and Anne are still downstairs . . .”

“I’ll go keep Doug and Anne company while you’re out . . . come by the apartment when you’re done shopping and we’ll all have dinner together tonight?” Natasha offered with a small smile, eyes flickering to the hallway and then back to Steve.

Nodding, Steve sighed in relief. “Thanks. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Oh, you might want to consider packing for a couple weeks? Bucky said you’re going to Colorado on vacation.”

Steve smiled, grabbing his wallet, keys, and an inhaler. “I need to go out. Sam, would you mind coming with me? Maybe we can walk Sharon where she needs to be?”

Natasha quirked a brow but nodded, “alright . . . I’ve always wanted to visit Colorado . . .”

Sharon smiled widely. “I was meeting my cousin, Peggy, who’s in town with her wife, Liz.”

Steve looked stunned. That was too coincidental, it had to be the same Peggy and Liz.

Laughing softly, Sam nodded, “yup. Sharon is Peggy’s cousin, Steve! Small world, huh?”

Blinking, he turned to TJ and Bucky in the bedroom, beyond the still open door, and smiled softly. “Think she’d mind coming and meeting my fiancee, Sharon? I’d love to introduce her to the love of my life.”

TJ grinned softly, a light flush gracing his cheeks.

“I think they’d love to come meet your fiancee, Steve,” Sharon confirmed.

“Be back soon, baby,” he called into the room “Feel free to tell our family what needs doing, okay? And if they argue with you, have Bucky call Sam so I can talk to them to explain. Remember your lessons and behave while I’m out.” Steve turned and led Sam and Sharon out the door.

The three headed downstairs and out into the nearly fall air, warm and fresh despite the city all around. Steve shook himself a moment then nodded. “Got three stops to make, if that’s okay? Sharon, would you like to go ask Peggy to come to dinner tonight? You know, kind of a surprise thing? I know she likes surprises.”

With a chuckle of her own, Sharon nodded.”I’ll see you boys later. I’ve got a pair of cousins to track down and get ready for, what, seven tonight?”

Nodding at the very unconventional invitation he’d extended, Steve shook Sharon’s hand once more. When she walked off, he blew out a sigh of utter relief. He’d not been too comfortable around the stranger and hadn’t wanted her with Sam and him on the shopping trip.

“How did TJ take things?” Sam asked, falling into step with Steve.

Gesturing towards the direction he wanted to go, Steve said, “TJ and I are going to hide out until this blows over, only come out for the trial. We plan to be gone by Tuesday at the latest and get married while we’re away.” Glancing at Sam, Steve added, “he nearly needed my nebulizer he was so upset and scared. He was forced to come out when he was fifteen, and I think this brings back that trauma for him on top of the Rumlow shit.”

Sam shook his head, stuffing his hands into his sweatshirt pockets, “this is such bull! They are re-traumatizing him all over again!”

“Exactly why we’re just plain hiding out. I tried to get him talking about marriage, but he was too far gone. It wasn’t until I told him we’d go hide out that he calmed enough to listen. He’s as terrified as I was seven years ago.” Steve took a deep breath, let it go, and pushed the memories back. “Can’t talk about that, though. Not ready.”

Sam nodded accepting Steve wasn’t ready to talk about whatever hurt him; gesturing to several TV’s displayed in a window, the dark-skinned man said, “maybe that’s why he’s afraid to leave?” The TV’s were on the news, which were covering the developing story with the headline _‘Former First Son Attacked.’_ The screen displayed a grainy picture of Rumlow shoving TJ against the shelving in the music closet.

“I know it is,” Steve didn’t even glance over, knowing that TJ Hammond, victim or vamp, was the hot news topic of the week. “Here,” Steve gestured to the high end jewelry store he’d chosen and led Sam inside.

Turning to the man behind the counter, Steve drew a steadying breath then stepped over and softly said, “I’m buying . . . my wedding rings and something else for my fiancee? A man.” He knew high end jewelry dealers were discrete, so it was only a little more risque than _Imago_ , but it still made Steve nervous to publicly talk about his boyfriend.

As the dealer brought out his masculine jewelry sets, including wedding rings, Steve turned and frowned softly at Sam “can you try it on for me?” He didn’t think about the fact that it would look like Sam was his fiancee; he just wanted to make sure the collar wouldn’t hurt or be too heavy.

Sam nodded, “sure, man,” he walked up besides his friend and waited for the blond to pick out something.

He turned back to look over the selection. After a few quiet minutes, he lifted a simple platinum and white gold twist. Noting that the flat braiding wouldn’t dig in, Steve fastened the choker on Sam and tilted his head in worry. “How’s that feel?” he asked.

“It’s pretty light, actually . . . doesn’t dig in or anything,” Sam nodded, taking his job of trying on the choker to make sure it was comfortable for TJ seriously.

Nodding, Steve removed it and offered Sam a thankful smile. He turned back to the store clerk. “You said there were rings to match?”

The man nodded. “Yes, sir. As well as a wristlet and watch.”

Knowing it would be expensive, but also knowing he had the funds in his account due to his inheritance, an inheritance his mother made him promise to hold onto until he was serious about someone, Steve nodded and handed over his card. “I’d like the rest of the set, please.”

Sam let out a low whistle, soft enough not to disturb the other shoppers, “spoilin’ him, huh?”

“Definitely,” Steve offered a grin to Sam. “I mean, wouldn’t you? He’s gorgeous and deserves to be pampered.” He turned back. “Besides, it’s one of his wedding presents.”

“ _One_ of his wedding presents?” Sam’s eyebrows rose, looking surprised.

“I’m not allowed to get more than one?” Steve asked, eyes widening in innocence as he looked to Sam again before signing the receipt.

“You’re allowed to get him whatever you want, Steve,” Sam laughed, shaking his head.

“My Momma died when I was eighteen, Sam, of cancer. My father died before that. This is my inheritance.” He looked over, “and she made me promise to spend it on the person I would marry, who captured my heart. I know she hoped it’d be a woman, but I can’t help that. I fell in love with a man, and he’s getting my wedding presents. I plan to get a house for him, too, as soon as we find a place to settle, and if I get hired by the Met, after the traveling is done.”

A tall, slender, but not delicate like TJ, blond man walked up beside Steve, browsing the options beneath the glass counter.

“And, if I can get enough money together, I plan to buy TJ a piano. A real, professional piano. I’ll have Nat help me pick it out.” Steve smiled at Sam, turned and nodded to the stranger, then picked up the offered boxes and opened the one containing the wristlet and watch.

“You talking about TJ Hammond?” The stranger asked softly, eyes flickering over to look at Steve.

Steve frowned instantly. Already they were hounding him about that damn tape? “Yes, and yes, he’s a victim and would appreciate people leaving him alone.” He turned to the man with a steely gaze on his beautiful face.

“I know he’s a victim, what happened to him was awful, and them blasting it over the media? Horrendous,” the blond man shook his head, looking sad, almost regretful.

“We have our suspicions who did that, but we’re not going to do the police favors by spreading tales, so TJ and I are staying out of it for now.” Steve softened a bit as the man seemed to not be a vulture looking for gossip.

“You his boyfriend?” The man asked, looking over Steve in curiousity.

Shaking his head, Steve said, softly, “no. I’m his fiancee. Steve Rogers.” He knew he was coming out quite publicly, but hell, he’d already done so to many people that week. What would a sympathetic bystander change?

Offering his hand, the blond man smiled softly, “Sean Reeves.”

Steve took the hand and looked surprised. He had trouble suppressing the dislike the name drug up, the anger at TJ’s pain. Slowly, Steve said, “the politician?”

Nodding, Sean looked at Steve, “I am sure he’s told you about me.”

“You hurt him, Sean,” Steve said bluntly. “He nearly died because of you. Does that make you happy?”

“Happy? No, of course not. I regret hurting him,” Sean looked apologetic, very genuine.

Pausing, Steve softly said, “you know what hurt him the most? Not that you wouldn’t leave your wife and kids. Not that you wouldn’t spend Christmas with him. Not even that you wouldn’t come out and risk your career. It was the fact that you had to _shut your eyes_ to love him.” Steve snapped the box shut and took the two ring boxes without opening them. He picked up the choker box to add to his wedding set. “I hope losing him has taught you something valuable about human love, because it taught him that he wasn’t good enough to love anyone. I’m working everyday to erase what you did to him.”

Sean sighed and nodded, not trying to defend himself from Steve’s claims. They all had merit, after all.

Steve sighed. “I’m a nice guy, Sean, so I hope to God you only said that stuff to make him give you up and not because it was true. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m not telling him either way. So, please understand that you won’t be getting an invite to any of our functions. Not because I don’t want TJ near you. But because I don’t want him forgetting how wonderful he is.”

“He needed to move on, Steve. I _had_ to say something to get him to let go,” Sean rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “He’s so loyal . . . that I _had_ to hurt him to give him the chance to move on.”

“Well, if something like this happens again, try telling the truth. That you liked your time with him, but he was a fling. A wonderful fling, but only a fling. Because the way you did it? He tried to suffocate himself. Elaine saved his life.” Steve took his receipt with an absent nod to the clerk. “So, please, don’t try to contact him, except for random appearances at any political function we might attend in the future for his family. It’s better if you cut it off clean, too.”

Closing his eyes, looking guilty, Sean nodded. “Is he doing better? Clean?” Sean asked softly, opening his eyes.

“He’s been clean and without a boyfriend for two years,” Steve announced proudly. “He did it on his own, tied to no one. And he’s still clean even with this mix up. Doug and his natural brother, Bucky, are with him right now packing us up. We’re getting married and going on our honeymoon.” Steve offered Sean a genuine smile. “Some days are better than others. Some hours or minutes are better than others. But he _is_ coping. Sean, please, know that the only ill will I hold is that you could have ended a perfectly beautiful, sensitive life with your mishandling. Learn from this. You don’t have to tell your wife or anyone else. But learn from it. If you choose to start another relationship, and end it, the truth hurts the least. Please.” Steve held out his hand.

Taking the hand and giving it a shake, Sean smiled softly at Steve, “I’m glad he found someone who makes him happy.”

“I try not to judge other lifestyles, Sean. But I am a firm believer in trying to be a better person today than you were yesterday. I hope someday you find the happiness you seem to be looking for.” Steve let go the man’s hand. “I’ll tell TJ about this meeting some day, when he’s ready. Shall I give him a message from you then?”

“Just, tell him I’m sorry? That I was a coward and nothing I said was true. He’s beautiful and deserves happiness,” Sean swallowed and nodded.

“I’ll do that. Good luck. And, some private advice? If you’re backing Pierce? Pull out now. Can’t say why, but do it. You’ll be better off.” Steve nodded to Sam, “let’s go. I got two more stops before I can get back to TJ.”

Sam nodded, following Steve out of the shop, “well, that was weird.”

“Yeah, I was about to throw up when I realized just who he was.” Steve shook his head. “He’s the reason TJ nearly died the same night Bucky had his car accident.”

“Ever think about that? That both twins almost died on the exact same night?” Sam frowned, walking beside Steve.

“Yeah, a twin thing. I thought of it as soon as I got over the shock.” Steve looked at Sam.”I hear it’s a mystery that repeats often, too. Somehow, someway, some twins manage to die at the same time. Wasn’t Bucky driving that night?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded.

“And passed out for no known reason?” Steve added, thoughtfully.

Sam looked up at Steve with slight alarm, “as far as anyone knew, yeah. That’s _creepy_.”

“Yeah, twins feel each other sometimes. It’s possible, _Bucky_ reacted to _TJ’s_ attempted suicide, even four hours apart.” Steve sighed again. He led Sam into the sex store without really thinking about it. Seeing Abraham, Steve nodded. “I need to get TJ a waterproof collar.”

Sam looked around the shop, mouth dropping open in slight shock. This was the same guy that had hidden his sexuality for years! And he’d just taken Sam to a sex shop!

Abraham stood and led Steve to the collars, trying to find a what Steve wanted. Steve discussed the various styles and materials and determined there wasn’t one one hand. It had to be ordered. So, he followed Abraham back to the counter and began the process of ordering several in house collars, one of each color available and a second of plain black. He also picked out a waterproof collar. He planned to tell TJ to match his collar to his clothes every day. Might be a fun mix up. But he’d also let TJ know that if he preferred the black with hearts at any given time, to wear it; it wasn’t his training collar after all. Glancing over, Steve smiled slightly. “Sorry, I shoulda warned you I was coming in here. If you’re uncomfortable, you can wait outside. Or you can look around? They cater to more than _my_ kinks.”

Sam nodded, beginning to browse the store as Steve bought whatever else he wanted; maybe Sam could find something to surprise Riley with. He headed towards the different types of restraints.

After he finished ordering or purchasing the remaining toys he’d wanted the first time he walked in, Steve noted Sam was doing some browsing. He smiled softly and walked up behind Sam. Tapping his shoulder, in a perfectly reasonable voice, Steve said, “there’s instructional books, too, just in case you wanna read about stuff. I’ve got one that taught me how to do TJ’s scarf in a slip knot today. The proprietor is Abraham. Let me introduce you, Sam.”

Nodding, Sam let Steve lead him to the older man behind the counter.

Abraham looked up from his new book, something to do with Nazis and paranormal research. He greeted Sam politely, not pushing a sale, and invited him to look around all he wanted. He then pointed out the order books, in case Sam wanted to browse those. Finally, he went back to reading.

Steve grinned.

After browsing for a few more minutes, Sam did end up buying a few surprises for his husband, knowing Riley had been wanting to experiment with some things.

Steve nodded. “I like it here because Abraham doesn’t judge. It’s one of the things I’ll miss when TJ and I move, since I’m not sure we’re coming back here to Brooklyn.”

“Well, I know they have a lot of those sub-dom clubs all around? You could try one of those?” Sam suggested, taking the black bag from Abraham.

“That’s an idea for the future.” Steve nodded, unsure if he’d ever be able to take his love that public. “I’ve got another stop to make. Still with me?”

“Oh, yeah, Riley doesn’t get off until six,” Sam smiled.

“Why don’t you bring him to dinner? I know we’ll have a full house, but you can introduce him to Peggy if he doesn’t know her yet. You and Peggy were good friends, too.” Steve led Sam from the shop and down to the Korean grocery he went to for his pet supplies.

“They’d met several times, that’s why I was so surprised that you didn’t know . . . hell, I’d even told TJ!” Sam shook his head.

Nodding, Steve said, “Yeah, TJ told me that today. But, I think I wasn’t ready to know, even if I took it pretty hard.” Taking a deep, slow, steady breath, Steve said, “I was hurt very badly in the military for being who I am. And I was told it was my fault. I . . . I’m terrified you and Riley will be hurt, too, even with the new policies.” He looked at Sam.

Sam patted Steve’s broad shoulder a few times, “thank you for caring, Steve. But, Riley and I are perfectly safe . . . honest. Everyone loves him down at the VA and they know about me, I’ve gone to holiday parties and whatnot.”

Stopping at the pet food and litter bins, Steve gripped Sam’s arm, tight and almost painful, “No, Sam, you aren’t listening. It was my boyfriend that invited nine other guys in on it. I don’t think you’re safe. I know you’re supposed to be, but I . . .” Steve shook his head and tried to push his fear down. He took slow, steady breaths, pulling out his inhaler as a precaution. “Sorry, I’m sorry, Sam . . .” He felt dirty again.

Stunned by Steve’s admission, Sam’s mouth opened and then closed several times, attempting to find the words to say. What could he say to a man that was raped by ten men, the one man he was supposed to trust being the instigator?

“TJ’s trying to help me deal with it, Sam. We’re still trying to find a counselor who can handle my case. Most won’t touch it. They want to just throw me on drugs and into rape counseling, but TJ insists there’s better for me out there. I trust him, so I’m still looking.” Steve shook his head. “I have to force myself to deal with it every day, Sam, and I don’t mean to scare you or Riley.”

“Steve, Riley is a _PTSD_ counselor down at the VA . . . he specifies in rape counseling for soldiers raped by other soldiers,” Sam said softly, looking up at Steve, watching the blond closely.

Steve thought that one through. He slowly looked at Sam. “I think that would have been good to know a month ago. Now, we’re leaving.” He blinked, knowing he could stay and get the help Sam offered, but he needed to get TJ out to protect and soothe him. Steve would give up this chance to help his lover.

“Steve . . . what I saw today . . . you won’t be able to help TJ if you get flashbacks like that often. You need help, man,” Sam said. “What if his own trauma triggers something for you? How would you be able to help him?”

Drawing a deep breath, Steve nodded and agreed, “I know I need help. But TJ needs to leave, Sam. He needs to get away from this, hide and lick his wounds. It’s what he wants. And he’s never had the chance to do it his way in the past. Don’t you see how much he needs to be allowed to make this kind of call. It may be the wrong choice, but TJ needs to be allowed to make the call for his own life. His parents have controlled him, including his coming out. He feels helpless. I don’t know how else to give him the self assurance that his opinions are valuable but to let him try.”

Sighing, Sam ran his fingers through his short curls, “and how long you planning on letting him hide out, Steve? The longer you let him hide, the worse the paranoia is going to get.”

Steve sagged, like all his energy, his strength, had just left him. He covered his face with his hands and shook his head, the black bag from _Imago_ , containing his toys and his jewelry, swung unnoticed against his body. “I won’t break my word and do a turn around. I promised to take him to Colorado for awhile. I won’t lie to him, Sam!”

“Look, I know this is hard, but what will you do after a few weeks in the cabin? Drag him out by the collar and force him to leave the apartment?” Sam sighed, running his hand down his face.

Steve literally whimpered. “I don’t wanna hurt him, either.”

“I know you don’t . . . but this - - God, this sucks. I wish neither of you had to be going through this right now. But, if you allow him to hide for too long . . . he won’t come out. Right now, you need to think about both your’s and his mental health. That’s what is important.” Sam reached out and gave Steve’s bicep a gentle, reassuring squeeze, “and that might mean holding off on the Colorado trip until you two can start counseling, get in a better mindset.”

“But that means I lied to him, Sam. I promised to take him _now_.” Steve looked at Sam finally, misery in his every move and sound.

Sighing, Sam shook his head, “I don’t know, man. Maybe have him at least go into town or something while in Colorado? That way he doesn’t shut-in completely?”

Nodding, Steve breathed in relief. “I can do that. I can have him _test the waters_ where he’s not so known and the school is just a name?”

“Yeah, and talk to Riley when I bring him over. He’ll help you out in whatever way he can,” Sam offered.

“It won’t hurt to start talking then interrupt?” Steve looked worried.

“I’m not saying start full-on counseling tonight. I’m saying, talk to him about some of your concerns. He might have some ideas on how to help, and then you two can start seeing him when you guys get back.”

“Would two weeks be too long?” Steve asked softly, looking at Sam with worried blue eyes. “If I got TJ out of the cabin every day, even if it’s just a walk or something?”

“I don’t know, Steve,” Sam ran his fingers through his hair, “ask Riley tonight, okay?”

“Even before this happened, TJ said he’d be happy never leaving the apartment, Sam. I think this has been building for a long time.” Steve turned and began scooping food and litter into large bags.

“And now with a legitimate reason not to want to leave, he’s latching onto that,” Sam nodded, worried that his friend might be taking on too much. It was obvious Steve still had a lot of issues himself and dealing with his own trauma . . . TJ would be a lot to handle for anyone, even perfectly healthy and mentally sound.

“I’m not sure what to do, and I need to take care of him, Sam.” Steve sighed and closed the bags. He walked to the counter to pay for the two weeks supplies for the pets. “I don’t want to make him worse.”

Sam sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know . . . it’s hard to say what would make him worse at this point.”

Nodding, Steve led Sam from the store, pocketing his receipt. “At least tell me that spoiling him isn’t going to be a bad thing?” He sounded serious.

Laughing, Sam shook his head and clapped Steve’s shoulder, “unless you count having a happy husband as a bad thing? Trust me, they _love_ to be spoiled, even if they constantly deny it.”

Steve finally smiled and nodded. “Okay, so, I talk to Riley. Find out if a two week vacation with walks through the local town and shopping is a good idea?” Steve offered the idea as a whole, testing how it sounded.

“Yup,” Sam nodded, walking besides Steve as they headed back towards the apartment.

They got to the building and Steve turned to Sam. “Don’t forget dinner tonight at seven? I’d like to talk to Riley. See what he can do to help?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Sam smiled and waved to Steve before continuing down the sidewalk towards his own home.

Steve nodded, dragged in a breath, and headed up the steps.


	13. Facets of Love

As the door shut behind Steve, Sam, and Sharon, Bucky called out, “Nat? In here?”

Natasha came into the room a few moments later, “yes?”

“Will it be okay if I spend about a half hour alone with TJ, doll?” Bucky smiled at his wife.

She nodded, “I was going to keep Doug and Anne company anyway . . . I doubt Steve will only take a half hour, so if you two want more time, go ahead.”

“God, how did I get lucky enough to fall in love with such an understanding woman?” Bucky sighed.

Natasha simply smiled at the twins before turning and walking from the room, letting the door shut softly behind her.

Bucky turned to his brother. “Gonna do this dressed, brother mine?” he asked softly, running one hand down TJ’s chest to his abs then waistband. Bucky’s main goal was distracting TJ from the videos until Steve got back; he didn’t want his twin to catch sight of them and flash back worse than he already had. TJ’s reaction had terrified Bucky.

Looking at his brother with a soft smile, TJ mewled gently and canted his hips, allowing his brother to slip the pants off.

Bucky reached over and tugged the scarf carefully, drawing TJ closer for a deep kiss. “Gonna make love to you, Teej.” He slid his hands down to remove the lounge pants, sliding the silk over TJ’s cock and balls then thighs, calves, and feet, tossing the material to a chair. “God, you’re gorgeous, big brother!”

TJ moaned softly; he straddled Bucky’s hips and leaned down to crash his lips against his twin’s, tongue swiping Bucky’s lips to gain entry to his mouth. “Love you, Buck . . .” he breathed, grinding down.

Groaning, Bucky opened his mouth in obedience, loving the taste of his brother. He reached down and caressed TJ’s groin. Weighing his balls in his right hand, Bucky broke the deep kiss to breathe out, “I love you, too, TJ . . . want me to do some foreplay or you want me now?” He kissed TJ’s neck and shoulder, lapping along the bone.

“Want you now,” TJ purred softly, grinding against his twin’s erection once more.

“Lube, baby. Won’t take you dry.” Bucky grinned, fondling his brother’s balls.

TJ leaned over, almost completely off his brother, to reach inside the bedside table and pull out the strawberry lube.

Grinning Bucky reached over and grabbed TJ’s globes, squeezing firmly. “Damn fine ass, big brother.”

Glancing over his shoulder, TJ broke into a smirk, “like that, baby brother?” He shifted and moved so that his ass was presented to Bucky, “or do you like this?”

Laughing, Bucky leaned forward and buried his face in TJ’s rear, licking at his rim. He spread TJ’s cheeks a bit more to get his tongue further, so he could taste his brother’s clean passage.

TJ gasped, not expecting the rimming, “Bucky . . . _God_ . . .”

Pulling back, Bucky looked over at TJ. “This okay?” He caressed both thumbs lightly over TJ’s passage.

“Yes . . . yes, please . . .” TJ whimpered, head hanging down as his hips rocked, chasing Bucky’s tongue.

Grinning, Bucky leaned back in to begin rimming his brother’s ass once more. He lapped at the ring of muscle, using his tongue to begin pushing, stretching the passage wider. Eventually, he slid his tongue inside and lapped at TJ’s rectum, humming slightly in pleasure at the salty, clean taste of his twin.

TJ moaned, pushing against Bucky’s tongue, “Buck . . . mmm - - God, feel so good . . .” he knew Bucky was doing this as a distraction, but TJ welcomed it happily.

Reaching over, between TJ’s legs, past his own body, Bucky started stroking his twin’s taint and the bottom of his sack. He let his fingers play over the sensitive flesh as he worked his tongue in and out, fucking his brother with his tongue.

Gasping and mewling, TJ’s gripped the comforter tightly, “not - - Bucky, not gonna last if - - if you keep . . . this up . . .” his twin’s tongue felt so good . . . of course, everything about Bucky always felt good.

Finally, Bucky pulled back and used two fingers to press into the saliva slickened passage. “Got that lube yet, brother mine?” Bucky teased on a light laugh.

Blinking, TJ looked down and saw the lube by one of his hands. Groaning as Bucky’s fingers breached him, the smaller brunet grabbed the bottle and tossed it back, unsure if it landed by his brother or not.

Bucky chuckled as he picked up the lube and flicked the cap open. He brought it up to his brother’s anus and squeezed some directly into him. Slipping his fingers in deeper, Bucky nodded. “Yeah, this will work,” he growled softly and pulled his hand back. Bucky knelt behind his brother and lined up. He’s never done this from the back with TJ, always looking into his eyes before then. However, he wasn’t about to make a bunch of changes right then, too eager to fill that lovely ass. Bucky began to push in, slowly, bit by bit.

Moaning low, TJ let his head hang back down; the initial burn faded away into pleasure as he became accustomed to his twin’s width. His back bowed and his hips rolled, taking Bucky even deeper. “Yes, Buck . . . that’s it, baby brother . . .” TJ groaned.

“God,” Bucky groaned low and long, bottoming out, “just had a wicked vision of you being my first ever, teaching me how to love.” He curled over the back of the smaller man and hugged him, just staying deep and still inside his twin’s body.

“Wish I coulda, Buck . . . would’ve taught you so much, baby brother . . .” TJ moaned, loving the feeling of Bucky’s weight on top of him.

“Well, you may not of been my first lover . . . but you’re the only man I’ve ever made love to, brother mine,” Bucky growled out. He lifted up a bit so he could kiss between TJ’s shoulder blades then began moving, sliding almost all the way out before thrusting back in deep.

Groaning louder than before, TJ gasped out, “I was made for you, Bucky . . . we were made for this . . .”

Nodding, growling softly with each thrust, face pressed to his brother’s shoulder blades, Bucky continued to thrust hard and deep, but at a slow pace. “Think that when Winifred got the ultrasounds they saw us like this?” he chuckled and thrust in again. “Joined in love?”

Whimpering, Bucky’s slow deep thrusts enough to drive him wild but keeping him only close to the edge of orgasm, TJ nodded, “you were always . . . part of me, Bucky . . . could feel you even . . . when we lived hundreds . . . of miles away from one another . . .”

“Yeah, maybe I’ve been waiting for you all this time? That’s why I never really experimented with sex? Just you and Natasha . . .” he kissed again and thrust in deep, slow, but hard. “You feel perfect, just right . . . tight enough to grip me in love and heat.”

“Wanna be perfect . . . for you, baby brother,” TJ breathed out, his hips rolling to meet Bucky’s slow, deep thrusts, the pace almost agonizing . . . but it felt so good. Every other time they’d slept together, it had been fast, hurried . . . this was different . . . and TJ loved every second of it.

“You _are_ perfect for me, brother mine. I can tell because we always fit together, from the moment we rediscovered each other. My body fits in yours so perfectly.” Bucky reached down in front of TJ and began gently, very lightly, stroking his fingertips over his twin’s cock and balls, ghosting more than anything, a whisper of a caress.

TJ keened loud and long, back bowing as he tried to press into Bucky’s hand, chasing the ghosting fingers. “Buck . . . oh - - Bucky, please . . .”

“Please, what, brother?” Bucky breathed into TJ’s skin.

Mewling and whimpering, TJ breathed out, “faster . . . please . . .”

Without words, Bucky obeyed, shunting his hips faster, thrusting deep and hard as he picked up his pace. He could feel TJ’s muscles fluttering and clutching at him and the sensations drove him wild, but he wasn't doing this for himself. He knew TJ needed loving not just sex, so Bucky concentrated on avoiding the prostate so he could still drag this session out. His fingers settled over TJ’s cock and merely held him, letting the thrusts behind TJ move his hand over TJ’s erection. He loved making love with TJ, the feeling of filling his brother and tending to his desires and needs.

“So close, baby brother . . .” TJ moaned, hips slipping out of the steady, fast rhythm that had been set.

Nodding, Bucky changed his angle abruptly, recognizing the need in his twin’s tone. He began to stroke long and deep against TJ’s prostate, growling low with each inward thrust.

Keening, TJ’s back bowed and his fingers clenched around the fistfuls of comforter, he felt the tightening in his balls, signaling just how close he was.

“Bucky? TJ? You guys okay?” Doug’s voice called into the apartment; he had been so worried about his twin after the news leak . . . he’d managed to slip away from Natasha and Anne to check on Bucky and TJ.

“Shit,” Bucky whispered into TJ’s shoulders, his own balls tightening, so close to orgasm. Despite the fact that Doug could walk in on them, Bucky was pretty much past stopping, and he could tell TJ was as well. Reaching over with his left hand, Bucky covered TJ’s mouth and kept his own buried hard in TJ’s back as he thrust hard and deep, dragging hard against TJ’s prostate. He began to cum, hot and thick jets of white filling his brother, leaking out past his still shunting cock.

With a muffled, quiet cry, TJ followed his brother, painting the comforter with white stripes of cum, his walls convulsing and tightening around his twin’s cock, milking him.

“TJ?” Doug called again, “Bucky? You guys here?”

Lifting his head, Bucky called out, “give me a moment, Dougie? Be right out.” He slid from his twin’s passage before finally letting go of TJ’s mouth. Wrapping the comforter over TJ, as if maybe he’d been lying there messy under his covers the entire time, Bucky grabbed a pair of Steve’s sweatpants and tugged them on. He grabbed a bottle of water and tossed it to TJ then pulled on a shirt. Finally, Bucky opened the bedroom door and let Doug in. “TJ’s not exactly up for company?” he offered.

Doug blinked, the smell of sex hitting him as Bucky opened the door; he looked at Bucky and then TJ, who despite his best efforts, looked completely blissed and fucked out.

“Steve went out to get wedding rings,” Bucky said and walked back into the room. “Been looking after TJ.” He hoped Doug thought Steve had left TJ in that delectable condition.

“Hey, Dougie,” TJ murmured, giving his adoptive brother a grin.

Frowning softly, Doug looked at Bucky, “is it okay if I talk to you, Bucky?”

“Sure. You keep drinking, TJ. I’ll be back soon.” He walked from the room, knowing he’d failed to cover up their activities. He hadn’t really thought Doug was stupid enough to fall for it, anyway.

“Yes, baby brother,” TJ called after his retreating siblings.

They made it to the living room before Doug whirled on Bucky; in a whisper, he growled, “what the hell? That better not be what I think it was.”

Bucky met Doug’s eyes and said, “TJ had a major panic attack when he found out about the release concerning his rape, Doug.”

“So you _fuck_ him?” Doug’s eyes narrowed, “in what world does that make sense?”

Sighing, Bucky said, “then don’t try to make sense of what makes TJ feel better, Doug. Today? Just concentrate on _him_.”

“I _am_ concentrating on him!” Doug seethed, “my whole life I’ve been concentrating on him. You better not be taking advantage of him, Bucky.”

Bucky walked over to Steve’s fridge and pulled out a bottle of water so he, too, could rehydrate. “We’ve been lovers for a month,” Bucky revealed.

Eyes widening, Doug looked at the hallway and then back at Bucky, “you’ve been _what_?”

“Yeah, so maybe we’re a bit twisted, Doug, but we love each other. And we can’t help it.” Bucky walked back into the living room. “Something about being with TJ feels . . . natural . . . right. We’ve tried to keep this private.”

Doug pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, “how many people know?”

“Five,” Bucky said without having to think about it. “You, Natasha, Steve, me and TJ.”

“Your wife knows that you’re sleeping with your twin? And she’s . . . okay with it?” Doug looked shocked, head lifting to look at Bucky.

“Yes,” Bucky answered, drinking more. “And TJ’s fiancee knows, too. Steve left me to take care of TJ today, because he knew I could calm him down. Somehow, Doug, my touch always calms him down.” He walked over to the bedroom door. Opening the door he called in, “TJ? You drinking?”

“Mhmm,” TJ’s sleepy voice answered, “drinkin’ the water, Buck. ‘m good.”

“Wanna get cleaned up, brother mine?” he asked further.

“Wanna sleep. ‘M tired . . .” TJ answered honestly. He hadn’t moved from where Bucky had tried to cover him up.

Rolling his eyes, Bucky offered Doug an exasperated smile and headed into the bedroom. “And you’re gonna wake up miserable, big brother.”

“Not uh,” TJ countered, shaking his head, “I’ll be jus’ fine.” He gave Bucky a tired smile, eyes half lidded. He was always so damn tired after cumming, and with the day he’d had . . . it was a miracle he was still awake.

Doug looked at TJ . . . analyzing his brother. He’d seen TJ on drugs, high off his mind . . . but, this wasn’t the same type of high TJ would get off drugs. TJ’s eyes were glossy, but he seemed to be able to comprehend what people were saying to him. TJ simply looked happy, tired . . . but so incredibly happy.

Bucky walked out, past Doug, to the bathroom to get washcloths and towels. He walked back in and pulled back the covers to clean TJ up, not hiding from Doug. He began after care for his twin. “Dougie’s here, Teej. He’s worried about you.”

“Dougie’s always worried about me,” TJ murmured, looking up at Doug, “heya, Doug.”

“He knows,” Bucky said simply, not clarifying, knowing TJ would understand. Bucky washed up TJ’s ass and crotch.

“He _always_ finds out,” TJ continued to give Doug a sleepy smile, “hiding anything from Dougie is pointless.”

“Damn right, it is,” Doug smiled softly, “you guys just have to be careful, okay? Please, just be very careful.”

“New Jersey,” Bucky sighed and moved to strip the comforter from the bed, easing his practically boneless twin under the other, clean, covers.

Looking at Bucky, Doug tilted his head, “what about it?”

“We’re going to be looking into moving to Jersey,” Bucky clarified. “Incest isn’t illegal there unless the siblings marry. Since I’m already married to Natasha, and TJ’s marrying Steve, that’s no problem. The four of us will move in together.”

“We’re a family, Dougie,” TJ mumbled, nuzzling the soft pillows, Steve’s scent embedded in the cloth.

Running a hand down his face, Doug sighed, “okay, Jersey, then. You guys should look for a house as soon as possible . . . can’t risk either of you being arrested.”

Bucky turned, the dirty bundle in his arms, still dressed in Steve’s clothes. “Thanks for understanding, Doug.” He headed to the laundry hamper to tuck away the dirty bundle. Walking back in, he said, “Steve and TJ are going to Colorado to get married. Natasha and I are going, too. Right TJ?”

“Mhmm . . . gonna get married,” TJ nodded his agreement, eyes closed and speech slurring as he began to drift off, “gonna marry Steve.”

Bucky smiled softly at his twin, love in his eyes. He gripped Doug’s arm and guided him out to the living room then the bathroom. Hell, his cousin knew everything already, so what was the point of being shy? Gesturing to the closed toilet, Bucky said, “I’m gonna wash up, but I’m willing to hear you rant if you want.” He stripped off the clothes and began washing up carefully.

Huffing, sitting on the closed toilet, Doug looked at Bucky, “he . . . looks happy?”

“I told you, Doug,” Bucky looked over, pausing, “From the moment we saw each other a month ago, the sexual tension was intense. Finally, we gave in and . . . TJ’s been able to relax any time I touch him, especially if we love. I love being with him just as much. Don’t get me wrong. Steve’s not a front. They love each other, too. It’s . . . complicated. Add my wife, whom I love very much, into the mix, and like TJ said, we’re a family.”

Doug ran his fingers through his hair; he looked as if he was trying to figure everything out, “he always talked about you as kids. Wondering what you were doing . . . he said he could feel you . . . I didn’t believe him . . . but,” Doug looked back up at Bucky.

Lowering his voice, Bucky said, “I understand that TJ tried to suicide around Christmas a few years back? Did you know the date lines up with my unexpected fainting attack that caused the car accident that wrecked my arm?” Bucky lifted his eyes to meet Doug’s. He tossed the washcloth to the hamper and began drying off.

“Yeah, I knew that . . .” Doug nodded.

“And that I had an unexplained convulsion the same date he had his overdose?” Bucky reached for the clothes he’d left in the bathroom when he’d originally stripped to help calm his brother.

“I used to get headaches a lot as a kid . . . and they got worse, less frequent, when I was a teenager . . . felt like someone was _pounding_ on me . . .” TJ’s soft voice came from the door of the bathroom where he stood watching the other men.

Bucky looked over and grunted, “Doug, he has to pee, get up for a moment?” He looked back down as he fastened his jeans carefully. “When I was a kid, I was always in the hospital for injuries.” He grunted. “I’ve even got a scar from when Dad got real violent once when I took his whiskey from him.” Bucky flipped back his hair to show a scar down the hairline.

TJ winced; he reached out to touch the scar, “no one could ever figure out why I was getting the headaches . . .”

“I get them all the time, worse with high stress,” Bucky said simply. “Have ever since Thanksgiving when I was eight . . . when Dad did this.” He looked over at Doug, letting TJ touch his head. “Up! He has to pee!”

“Thanksgiving . . .” Doug mused, standing up and making room so TJ could use the toilet, “that’s when you passed out, TJ . . . scared the shit out of Mom and Dad . . . he was in the hospital for a few days, under another name to avoid the press finding out.”

“I was in a coma for five days,” Bucky said on a sigh, pulling his t-shirt on over the scars from his car accident, not realizing he’d displayed them for Doug . . . a rarity. “Dad was so upset he’d hurt me he kept buying me gifts for about a month, every day. Then, on Christmas, he got me a stupid robot toy I never even heard of.” Laughing a bit, Bucky shook his head, “I met Steve a couple years later and the big goof . . . well little goof at the time, accidentally broke it. I was so mad at him, I beat the shit out of him. Then we became best friends.”

TJ dropped his hand and went over to relieve himself quickly. Finishing up, he looked at Bucky, “I’m sorry . . . I wish you hadn’t had to go through all that . . .”

“If Dad hadn’t beaten me, he wouldn’t have bought me a two hundred dollar toy for Christmas, Steve wouldn’t have tripped over it at recess and broken it, and I’d never had my best friend. TJ, bad or good, everything makes us who we are. So . . . glad I survived, but glad I wound up with Steve in my life.” Bucky grinned at TJ then Doug.

TJ still looked sympathetic, but he didn't argue Bucky's point. Though, if what Bucky said was true that meant that Brock raping him happened for a reason. The more he thought about it . . . the more he realized what stemmed from the attack. He got together with Steve and then Bucky . . . he got his family, he was getting _married_. Frowning softly at that idea, TJ left the bathroom without another word; he walked back to the bedroom.

Bucky smiled after TJ’s retreating figure, unable to keep the love and sexual desire hidden. “So . . . uh . . . “ He blinked and looked over at Doug. “Uh, what were we talking about?”

“That TJ looks happy . . . that you calm him down,” Doug supplied, also watching as TJ walked back into the bedroom. “I'm not going to pretend that I understand it, but,” Doug sighed, running his fingers through his hair, “but as long as you're not hurting him . . . I'm not going to try and stop it.”

**************

The sound of a knock on the door alerted the trio that someone wanted in. Bucky looked at Doug then back to the bedroom and TJ. The knock sounded again then a key sounded in the lock. Before Bucky could respond, the door opened and a man stood there. He immediately asked. “Which of you is the tenant from here? Rogers’ roommate?”

TJ, now wrapped in the comforter from the bed, poked his head out of the bedroom, he stared wide eyed at the stranger in his home. Doug stared at the man in the doorway and then back at TJ who was barely covered up and still looked as if he'd just had sex.

Seeing the fear reaction, the man frowned, cocking his eyebrow. He merely crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m your landlord?”

Blinking, TJ looked at the man; he’d never actually seen the man before and the only time he’d had any sort of interaction with him was when the man interrupted on that very first night. “Wh - - what can I do for you?” TJ asked softly.

Nodding, the man unfolded his arms. “Got a complaint that someone was lurking in the hall. The lady visiting across the way’s got little kids and was afraid whoever was out here might be up to no good. You seen anything. Described the men as wearing business suits and looking like _men in black_ types. She’s a conspiracy theorist and stuff, you know, aliens? But a nice enough lady, Daughter lives there. So, I came to investigate. Said they were outside your apartment a couple time.”

TJ looked at Bucky, genuine fear in his eyes. Why would someone be lurking outside the apartment?

Bucky burst into laughter and shook his head. “My God, Fred, those were genuine secret service men! My aunt’s the Secretary of State and she came to visit. TJ’s my brother, so she came up here to visit him, too. You can tell Mrs. Watson that no one’s after her or her daughter.”

“Huh,” the landlord nodded. “Gotcha. Well, sorry to have busted in on,” he waved his hand at the three men, “your bet or whatever. And I’ll be sure to tell Shirley that those men are protecting us, not threatening us. Might be glad to hear that.” He paused and glanced over the three men a bit before saying, “you twins or something?”

Phil whimpered and pawed at TJ’s calf. Fred, the landlord, glanced down and nodded. “And thanks, by the way, for following my pet rules. You don’t know how many people try to sneak an entire litter in.” He turned a glare on Bucky.

TJ, relaxing slightly now that he realized what exactly his landlord had been talking about, nodded, “two are plenty. And yeah, we're twins.”

Fred nodded. “Well, gotta go. Glad you and Rogers are good tenants. Nothing broken or disturbed, always pay the rent. Good to have good tenants.” He headed for the door then stopped right at the barrier. He looked back over to TJ and nodded. “I recognize you. You’re that kid that used to run around the White House causing people to laugh at parties. Helluva good President your dad. Hope they catch the bastard. He better not try to show up here. I don’t put up with criminals lurking near my tenants. I like a safe place.” Fred’s disjointed manner of speaking could confuse most people. “I’ll keep an eye out if you wanna slip me a description of that bastard.” And Fred walked out, shutting the door behind him.

“I’m thinking Uncle Bud isn’t the bastard he wants to catch,” Bucky murmured in surprise.

“I - - I’d think not . . .” TJ shook himself and still holding the blanket around his waist, walked out to the living room; he scratched Luna behind the ears from where she rested on the back of the couch.

“Have a seat, TJ. Breathe. Recover. You’re safe,” Bucky instructed with a gentle smile. “Unexpected as that was, I think he wasn’t such a bad visitor.” And the fact that he referred to TJ’s past, knew who was his tenant, was a good sign. This was a man who didn’t condemn TJ for being a politician’s kid or for coming out or being hurt. Bucky knew his landlord was a good man; he just never would have thought to introduce him to TJ.

TJ walked around the couch and sat down, letting out a sigh, the blanket falling low, his hip bones visible. 

Walking into the kitchenette, Bucky got several glasses of iced water and brought them back, handing them all around. After sipping his own, he instructed his twin, “let me know when you recover? Just want you to relax. We’ll pack soon.”

Nodding, TJ sipped on his water, still taking deep, steadying breaths. Growing up, he’d always thrived in a room full of people, skipping from one person to the next, dancing, laughing, having fun. Now he couldn’t even meet his landlord without being overly suspicious.

Bucky slipped down on one side of TJ, glancing over at Doug. “Green, TJ?” He gentled his voice. Bucky had seen the break down in TJ for the last month, but he’d been guilty of letting it go as much as Steve had, wanting to protect TJ, wrap him in cotton wool hugs. Now, he had to work to get TJ past that fear reaction. He knew how to do that, but right now he wanted to discuss with TJ what they could do . . . now that TJ seemed aware, too.

TJ nodded and set down his half full glass of water on the coffee table, “yeah . . . green.”

Bucky hugged TJ, trying to meet his twin’s light eyes. “You seemed pretty nervous when the landlord showed up; looked like you wanted to bolt.”

Nodding again, TJ sighed and leaned into Bucky’s hug, “I - - I didn’t mean . . . didn’t want it to get this bad . . . I - - I just didn’t expect him to . . . just . . . come in?”

Nodding, Bucky hugged TJ to him and stroked his hair. “Not only you did this, TJ. Me, Steve, everyone let you, encouraged you to hide away. We should have gotten you help immediately. But, I know a guy who can help you. He’s a PTSD counselor who specializes in rape.” Bucky offered a firm smile to TJ. “And I’m sure he’ll be able to see both you _and_ Steve.”

Turning his head to nuzzle at Bucky’s neck, TJ released another breath.

“And, he’s gay, TJ, so he understands your sexuality, too,” Bucky added. He stroked his twin’s hair, turning his eyes to meet Doug’s.

Doug watched the two twins carefully; he’d seen TJ through everything, all the highs, all the lows. He’d helped him through every withdrawal and the eventual relapse. He’s had to visit TJ in hospitals after nearly dying twice in one year. However, after seeing all that, seeing TJ like this . . . it scared him more. TJ had suffered more than any person ever should and all the horrors, all the pain, caught up with him.

Bucky softly said, “TJ? Check in on the subject?” He reached down and scooped up Phil, transferring the fluffy retriever puppy to TJ’s lap.

“Green,” TJ answered softly.

Nodding, Bucky smiled proudly. “So, if we can get Steve to go to him, will you go to my friend? One session, I think the original agreement was a few weeks ago, right?” He saw that allowing the couple to find their own counselor hadn’t worked.

“Yeah,” TJ agreed, pulling away so he could look at his brother. Rubbing his eye, TJ looked at his biological twin and asked softly, “You still wanna come with us to Colorado, right?”

Bucky grinned. “Sure are, but why don’t I ask for another extension? Why don’t we make it a six-some and invite Doug and Anne? Then, you’ll have lots of support when you go in among strangers, but we can make sure the cabin’s big enough that you get plenty of private Steve time, too?” He glanced at Dough for his opinion.

Doug smiled and nodded, “Anne would love to have a vacation in the woods.”

Nodding, Bucky turned to TJ. “Would you and Steve like that? If not, you tell us. I don’t wanna _invade_ your honeymoon.”

Smiling, TJ nodded, “we’d love that.”

Bucky nodded. “So, let me ask the ladies up here so we can put the idea to them?” Bucky pulled out his phone, checking it quickly before typing in his wife’s number and texting her to bring Anne, they were ready to start packing. While he waited for Nat’s response, Bucky quickly checked Steve’s and TJ’s phones. Smiling softly, he offered TJ’s phone. “Nana wants to talk to you if you want?”

Nodding, TJ took back his phone quickly dialing Nana’s number and holding the phone to his ear.

“And, Steve’s got a couple calls he’ll need to answer,” Bucky stood and walked to the kitchen, signaling Doug to come with him so they could talk.

Doug followed Bucky into the kitchen and blew out a soft breath, running his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah, I get it,” Bucky started, “we got too protective and let this happen. But, really, I think Steve’s good for him. He just needs to learn better coping skills? He and TJ both?” Bucky looked at his cousin, willing him to sanction the couple despite TJ’s increased anxiety.

Doug shook his head, running a hand down his face, “one month. This all happened in one month.”

“Doug,” Bucky said carefully, “when TJ showed up, he would lean into any touch anyone would give. Still does. That happened over thirty years of abuse, intentional or not. I think he was on the edge when Rulow raped him the first time.” He checked Doug reaction to the reminder of TJ’s trauma.

Looking sad and even a little angry, Doug chanced a glance over to TJ who was laughing softly at something Nana must’ve said.

“Yeah, Steve began trying to boost his self-love, but Steve’s not a counselor, just a guy in love.” Bucky sighed and watched TJ as well.

Looking back at Bucky, Doug whispered, “we all failed him.”

Nodding, Bucky looked at Doug. “Yeah, no matter how any of us may have tried, somehow he got this bad. I know you guys hugged and loved him, especially you and Nana. TJ named the both of you as his favorite people.” Bucky sipped his water. “I think the pair of them will benefit from counseling, drastic and severe intervention if needed, but I think TJ won’t handle losing Steve, you’re right. Only, I’m not worried about a breakup hurting TJ. I’m worried about his family denying him _yet again_ the opportunity to love a man he chooses. That make sense?”

“You think if my parents keep pushing against this marriage . . . that he’ll listen?” Doug asked softly.

“No. I think he’ll do what he did last time they protested his choices so vehemently. I think he’ll self-harm or turn to drugs, the one thing that never rejected him.” Bucky met Doug’s eyes. “I think what we need to do is help him learn to stand on his own feet again, but not necessarily with or without Steve. I think Steve needs to be made a partner, not a controlling member. Not the kink, that’s not what I’m talking about. But right now, TJ measures his value in how much his boyfriend is worth in his parent’s eyes, how accepted he is. We need to make TJ realize that it’s TJ’s worth that’s important. I think Riley can help. He’s the counselor at the VA I mentioned. Sam, a friend of ours, is his husband, and TJ trusts Sam.”

Doug nodded, “you do realize . . . there is no _again_ , TJ has _never_ stood on his own two feet. It’s either been drugs, boyfriends, or my parents.”

“He stood up to your parents to keep Steve, Doug. So, I’d say that’s an improvement if he never did that before.” Bucky smiled softly.

Nodding again, Doug looked back over at TJ and sighed, “how did I not see it?”

“Which part, Doug?” Bucky asked.

Looking back at Bucky, Doug answered, “how much pain he was in? How desperate . . .”

“Because, Doug, you were in your own pain and equally desperate. You found Anne.” Bucky suddenly hugged Doug. “And it took TJ a while longer to find someone who wants to deal with _his_ pain.”

Wrapping his arms around Bucky, Doug nodded and blew out at breath, “I tried. I promise, Bucky.”

“Doug, _you_ were the one thing that probably kept him alive longer than anyone else. Yeah, your parents _rescued_ him, after the fact, and they love him. But you were the one he kept turning to. And, tell me honestly, when you helped him get his nightclub, before that got messed up, was it helping? Was he sober?”

“Yes, he was doing _so well_ ,” Doug muttered softly.

“And what messed that up?” Bucky asked. He’d not discussed the club with TJ.

“Mom found out about him inviting Sean . . . Dad backed out and so did she,” Doug answered. 

“So, your parents dropped their support. TJ felt rejected and pushed away, a failure before he could even prove himself . . .” Bucky left that statement open.

“I tried to go with him . . . but he didn’t want me there, said we’d all _written him off_ ,” Doug explained softly.

“Doug, he was in pain. Hindsight twenty-twenty? I’d say if you insisted, he’d have been better off. But how would you have known to insist against what he decided?” Bucky patted Doug’s shoulder. “Trust me, we’re learning a lot _after_ the fact.”

“I’d rather learn _before_ , what if someone isn’t there to save him next time?” Doug rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

Nodding, Bucky said, “that’s why we need to get Riley involved. Steve’s giving him some coping skills, but they’re still reliant on someone else, and they’re so new, TJ needs constant reminders and reassurances. He’s gonna take a long time at our pace. Riley might be able to help. Don’t know if it’ll speed things up, but it couldn’t make it slower.” Suddenly, as he heard Nat letting her and Anne into the apartment with the spare key, Bucky laughed. “My God, I’ve been an ass! Nat’s a martial artist, not just a dancer. She can teach TJ self defense!” He grinned at Doug.

Natasha quirked a brow as she caught the last few words of her husband’s sentence, “who’s teaching TJ self defense?”

“No one, yet,” Bucky grinned and walked back into the living room. “I was thinking you’d like to, if you want? Would that work for you?” He kissed his wife’s cheek.

“Sure,” Natasha smiled at her husband and then at TJ who was still on the phone.

“Hey, TJ, wanna learn martial arts from Natasha?” Bucky asked loudly, talking over his conversation with his Nana.

Eyebrows raised, TJ turned his head to look at Bucky and Natasha; he nodded with a smile.

Natasha nodded and looked up at Bucky.

“Lesson four,” Steve’s soft voice came from the doorway. He’d walked in behind the women and only caught the tail end of what promised to be an interesting conversation. He smiled at TJ and settled his bags to the floor, scratching at Phil’s ears as the puppy wandered over, carrying Luna once again. Steve eased the kitten from the puppy’s mouth and stroked down her fur.

Covering the speaker on the phone, TJ thanked Natasha for her offer and then went back to talking with Nana.

Steve turned to Nat. “Thanks. I never gave much thought of self defense classes. But that should help him feel more confident in the future. Are you coming to dinner tonight? Sam and his husband are coming, and Peggy, Liz, and Sharon, one of my rescuers.”

Bucky walked over and thrust the phone into Steve’s hands. “Couple of messages for you. You’ll know which ones on sight.”

Steve nodded.

TJ, having said goodbye to his Nana, walked over to Steve and hugged his fiancee, “I met the landlord.”

“Yeah? What’d you think about him? A nice guy, right?” Steve smiled broadly, relieved and knowing Sam would be pleased by TJ’s congeniality.

“Yeah, he was nice, kinda just barged in, though . . . didn’t really like that,” TJ sighed, nuzzling against Steve’s chest, “how was shopping? Anything fun and exciting happen?”

Steve dropped a kiss to TJ’s hair and smiled. “I love you, babydoll.” He lifted his face and said, “yeah, we can talk to him about that. _And_ . . . I need to see a counselor. And it’d be good for you to come with me. So we can both deal with our fears of the world.”

“We already said that,” TJ answered.

“Yeah, well, I just realized how important it is,” Steve kissed TJ’s cheek. “Sam pointed out that you were getting more anxious outside, and I’m sorry I didn't see that.”

“It’s not your fault . . .” TJ muttered softly, nuzzling again.

“Even if it’s not my fault, baby, I can still feel bad it happened.” Steve kissed his love tenderly on the lips. “Sam says his husband is a VA counselor that specializes in soldiers raped by other soldiers and now suffering PTSD.” He drew a deep breath and added, “me . . .”

Looking up at Steve, TJ nodded, “you made an appointment for yourself? That’s good.”

“Not exactly, since we’re going on our honeymoon so soon. But,” he smiled and stroked TJ’s neck, right over the silken scarf he wore, “I’ve invited them for dinner so we can get his opinions and see if we can set something up for a couple of weeks from now? That’s a long enough vacation for now, right?” He hoped TJ wouldn’t balk at the sudden definite time limit to their honeymoon, rather than the hiding indefinite idea they started with. “Especially if I can begin counseling? And, then we’re married, you can, too, baby. To deal with what happened.”

Sighing, knowing that he couldn’t hide away forever, TJ nodded. Part of him still wanted to hide in a cabin forever . . . but that wasn’t reasonable . . . that wasn’t who he was. He’d realized that public opinion _was_ on his side and most people wouldn’t yell at him on the streets because of the video leaks.

Steve wrapped his arms around his lover as he waited for TJ’s reply, giving the man time to consider things through.

“I want to get help Steve . . . I can’t keep letting Brock and Pierce win . . . they’ve controlled me for long enough,” TJ said softly.

Proud, pleased, Steve cuddled TJ tighter.”Good boy. My smart, beautiful TJ!” He kissed TJ’s neck. My brave TJ,” he cooed. “We will find a way to beat them. They won’t control either of us, TJ. Oh! And Peggy and Liz and Sharon are coming tonight, too. Did I mention? So, we’ll have a full house.”

“Peggy? You’re ex?” TJ frowned softly, looking up at Steve.

“I had a lot happen while I was shopping, love. The woman who helped with my asthma attack was Peggy’s cousin, and I invited all three to come dine with my beautiful fiancee and me. But you want to see what I got, right? Not hear about Sam convincing me to see Riley.” Steve purposely kept quiet the Sean encounter; he meant it when he told Sean he would keep it until TJ was ready to hear it.

“Yes, sir,” TJ grinned, excited to see what Steve had got. None of his other boyfriends had ever spoiled him like Steve did . . . and TJ wasn’t ashamed to admit he enjoyed it. Steve seemed to _enjoy_ giving TJ gifts, and TJ wasn’t about to put a stop to Steve’s enjoyment.

“First, I got pet supplies for the honeymoon so they can come, too.” He nodded to the unmistakable bags. Picking up the familiar black bag, Steve tugged TJ to the couch, sinking down and situating his boyfriend on his lap. “And now, for my love.”

Grinning, TJ tried to peer into the bag.

Laughing softly, Steve pulled it out of TJ’s vision. “Patience, my love,” he teased. Opening the bag, he pulled out a sales slip, clearly marked with the order for the collars. He offered it to TJ. “Was thinking that you could match your outfits completely . . .”

TJ smiled widely as he looked at all the different colors that Steve ordered.

“They’re all the same style as the in house collar, baby. Just the colors are different.” He hugged TJ. “So, you can choose which in house color you wish to wear, or I can if you want that day.”

“Oh, thank you, sir!” TJ leaned into Steve’s touch.

Bucky turned to Doug, judging his cousin’s reaction to the absolute radiant joy in TJ’s tone at receiving collars for a gift.

Doug looked a mix between happy and worried, the joy in TJ’s tone was unmistakable and all Doug wanted was TJ to be happy. However, he was still shaken from the events of earlier. And he was confused as to how Steve and Natasha seemed okay with what the twins were doing together.

Steve pulled out the jewelry box, the larger one, and set it in TJ’s hands. “And, supposed to be your wedding gift, but I think I wanna see you wearing the entire set _for_ our wedding.” He opened the box, revealing the wristlet and watch with matched braided choker. “The _Braided Patriot_ set, TJ.” That set alone would have cost thousands of dollars.

“Oh . . .” TJ gasped, his eyes wide as he looked between Steve and the jewelry set, mouth dropped open in shock and awe.

Anne nearly choked, knowing just how expensive that set was, though it included a set of matched rings which weren’t in the box. She stepped up next to Doug and took his hand.

Doug squeezed her hand, but his eyes didn’t leave TJ. He knew the set was expensive and suspected TJ did too.

“TJ?” Steve asked softly, touching his forehead to TJ’s. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ breathed, looking back down at the wristlet and watch; his fingers brushed over the cool, shiny metal of the masculine choker. “It’s . . . they’re beautiful . . . but Steve . . . they’re - -” TJ looked up at the blond and then back at the box in his lap.

Drawing a slow breath, breathing in his lovers’ scent of the vanilla soap mixed with something inherently TJ, Steve said, “my mother made me promise to use my inheritance on the one I found to love. This is the first time I’ve touched those funds, TJ. And I hope to use them to also buy a house for us, or at least a good down payment.”

TJ blinked, looking shocked, “a house? Like . . . a - - a whole house?”

“Unless you prefer an apartment, yeah, a _whole_ house. Where you can spread out and entertain and have family and friends come over and we won’t have to pack ten people into one living room and kitchenette for an impromptu meal?” Steve smiled. “But if you’d rather have an apartment, I wanna find something big enough for you to entertain. No wild parties, baby,” Steve teased, “but something big and loud and controlled.”

Smiling, TJ nodded, “I - - I’d like a house . . .” he thought of having his own piano again, being able to play whenever he wanted.

Steve kissed TJ’s neck again. “And we’ll own, so you can have as many fur babies as you want . . . and we’ll discuss other changes later when we’re both ready, such as knocking down walls and paint and other decorating ideas.”

“That sounds good,” TJ nodded.

Taking another breath, Steve pulled out the two ring boxes and opened them to reveal the matching braided platinum and white gold rings that finished TJ’s set. One had a weave of small diamonds embedded in the braiding, the other did not.

Looking down, TJ couldn’t even form words, his mouth kept opening and then closing, but no sound came out.

“Breathe,” Steve instructed, smiling but a bit worried at the lack of sound. “I was thinking these could be our wedding rings, but if you want something more traditional, or less . . .”

Looking up at Steve, TJ set the boxes on the coffee table and then turned around so that he was straddling Steve’s lap, either ignoring or forgetting about the company, and kissed Steve passionately. Steve returned the kisses, meeting the passion and returning it.

Pulling away after a moment, TJ breathed and said, “I love them . . .”

Steve hugged him enthusiastically. “Good,” he sounded relieved. “Diamonds for my love,” he grinned.


	14. After Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PTSD dealing, very intense; discussion of rape, somewhat graphic
> 
>  
> 
> And we apologize for the mis-posting of the other chapter. This is what I get for trying to edit and post during a migraine. Please accept our thanks for pointing out our mistake quickly so we could correct it.
> 
> Sam

TJ stood in front of the stove, dressed in the black pair of skinny jeans and one of his white button-downs. Steve had decided to let TJ change into his outdoor choker for the impromptu dinner party. The savory scent of homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs wafted through the entire apartment, proving that TJ actually _did_ know how to cook and cook well.

Steve finished cleaning the litter box and grabbed the other trash created by TJ making the meal. He grinned, kissed his lover at the collar, and carried the waste from the apartment to dump down the trash chute at the end of the hall. When he came back in, he was accompanied by three women: the blonde nurse Sharon, a very cute dark blonde woman dressed in a pantsuit, and an attractive, well-put-together brunette in a calf length skirt and flowing blouse. “TJ, love, some of our guests are here.”

Turning around, TJ smiled at the three women; most people would feel nervous about meeting a fiancee’s ex, but TJ knew how Steve felt about Peggy, and how she felt about Steve.

The brunette walked over and offered her hand, giving TJ a firm shake full of confidence. “I’m pleased to meet you, TJ. Is there anything I might help with?” Her clipped British accent came out softer than one might think.

“That’s Peggy,” Steve said with a smile.”And this is Liz, her wife. TJ’s my fiancee,” he informed the room happily.

TJ grinned and shook Liz’s hand when she offered it; after introductions finished he looked back to Peggy, “no, thank you. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Please?” she allowed TJ to play host. “I’ll take anything carbonated, please, flavor doesn’t matter. Liz will take water. Sharon?” That simple statement showed that Peggy was the dom for her wife.

The blonde smiled and said, “water’s fine, TJ, thanks.”

TJ nodded, giving another smile to the three women before turning back to the kitchen to get the drinks. By looking at him, no one would think he’d had a minor nervous breakdown just that morning.

A soft voice behind TJ said, in a broader accent than her wife’s, “that is the most beautiful collar I’ve ever seen.” Liz had followed TJ into the kitchenette.

Grinning at the smaller blonde woman, TJ’s fingers lifted to brush against his choker, “thank you, Steve takes real good care of me.”

“Peggy mentioned they used to be lovers. I was worried he’d still be pining for her, but I think he only sees you, TJ.” Liz took each glass TJ filled and placed it on the tray he’d prepared.

Nodding, TJ didn’t argue the claim or demean Liz’s concerns, “and I only see him.” He knew that statement was technically a lie, but he wasn’t about to explain his _forbidden_ relationship with his twin to a stranger.

Nodding, Liz said, “I love Peggy. She takes good care of me. I’m glad we reconnected.” She picked up the tray. “Let me help. You’ve got red sauce trying to boil over.” She slid from the room with the tray of drinks.

Turning to tend to the sauce and then put the noodles in the boiling water, TJ opened the fridge and pulled out the salad fixings to go with dinner.

Steve answered a knock on the door and greeted, “Hello, Sam, Welcome back. And you must be Riley Wilson?”

A firm, but gentle voice answered, “yes. And you must be Steve Rogers. Thank you for inviting us. I’ve been begging Sam to introduce me to his friends.”

Steve nodded, and led the blond man, with blue-green eyes squinted as if he stared into the sun, into the kitchen. “TJ, baby? This is Riley Wilson, Sam’s husband. Riley, this is my fiancee, TJ.”

Looking up from where he was cutting vegetables, TJ smiled in welcome to the new arrivals.

Riley was attractive in a boy-next door kind of way, dressed in grey slacks and a button down, dark brown shirt. He offered his hand with a smile that turned his face a bit more handsome, a bit more devil-may-care. “TJ.”

Wiping his hand on a towel, TJ shook Riley’s hand, offering another smile. The bruising on his face and neck were still very evident, but as more time passed the injuries faded.

Riley softly said, “Sam, didn’t you want to see some of Steve’s drawings?” The blond didn’t remove his gaze from TJ, however, when he spoke.

Sam clapped Steve’s shoulder and nodded, “yeah, man, I’ve been bugging you for years to see more of your art!”

Frowning slightly, getting the idea that Riley was manipulating them apart, Steve let Sam lead him back to the living room. He pulled out the drawings that Bucky had rescued from the academy and began showing them to Sam and the three women. He then moved on to several sketches from different angles that he hadn’t yet converted into posters.

“How you holding up, TJ?” Riley asked softly, slipping onto one of the island stools.

TJ blinked and then shrugged, returning to chopping the vegetables for the salad, “I’m . . . okay. How are you?”

“Good,” he replied. “I’m doing very well. Thanks. Sam and I are discussing adopting a toddler or an infant, but we can’t decide which age group we want to start with.” Riley reached over to steal a carrot.

“That’s nice,” TJ smiled softly, his tone pleasant and friendly, continuing to prep the salad, using vegetables he knew Steve liked.

Nodding, Riley said, “Maybe you’d like to tell me if I should go wait with the others?”

“What? No, I’m fine . . . you can sit wherever you want, Riley,” TJ said quickly, eyes widening slightly as he looked up at the other man. Had he not been acting right? Was he being rude enough to make a guest feel like he wasn’t wanted? His mother would be mortified if she knew he’d made a guest feel unwelcomed.

Nodding, Riley munched his carrot for a moment before swallowing and saying, “If I get too much, let me know. Anxiety in large groups or with strangers is one of the most annoying side effects of any trauma . . . car crash, you know what I mean,” he said, deliberately leaving TJ’s traumas unspoken but hinting at them.

TJ swallowed and nodded, going back to cutting the things for the salad, but he was worried about making sure Riley didn’t feel unwelcome.

A gentle hand closed over TJ’s hands, stopping the knife before TJ lost control. “TJ? Put the knife down and take two deep breaths,” his voice was gentle but there was no mistaking the order.

Dropping the knife, letting it clatter against the cutting board, TJ flushed brightly and took the breaths as ordered. He looked down at the counter, unable to meet Riley’s eyes.

After the second breath, Riley nodded and patted TJ’s hands before letting go. “I used to get social anxiety, too, TJ. It’s a very common side effect. I always worried about entertaining someone then felt I’d fallen flat and my guests weren’t happy but were being polite. Is that what you’re feeling, TJ?” Riley’s tone remained calm, his smile gentle and genuine.

Eyes flickering nervously up to meet Riley’s, TJ nodded, chewing his bottom lip.

“Well, I don’t think you’re fallen flat so far, TJ. I can wait and see, if you’d like?” Riley smiled, teaching lightly, watching TJ’s reaction.

TJ watched the other man closely before nodding once, “you’d tell me?”

“Always, TJ,” Riley assured seriously. “I believe in honesty. If I didn’t tell you, how could you make adjustments so you improved?”

Smiling softly, TJ nodded and took another deep breath before continuing to make the salad.

“As you probably guessed, Sam and I made plans to talk to you and Steve separately to see if you’re actually interested in coming to the VA for a session. No decisions right now, just talking and seeing if you feel like you need or want it.” Riley chewed more carrot. “So, do you think that might be an option sometime?” He didn’t press for a timeline or a definite yes.

TJ nodded, “I - - I . . . I’m suspicious of new people . . . I’m afraid they’re gonna hurt me . . . and I don’t wanna be?”

“You said the magic words, TJ.” Riley touched his hand again, just a touch of comfort, not stroking or anything _deeper_. “Because you aren’t happy with something in your life, and you want it to change, you are a perfect candidate for counseling. Many times people live with trauma and even with anxiety, depression, or any number of symptoms or illnesses many would consider detrimental. But, it’s when you or I or someone else no longer want to live with those symptoms or illnesses that we can get help to change. After all, if you’re comfortable staying in the apartment and never coming out, why change?” Riley took his hand back, a celery stick in his hand. “Do you fear making the change, TJ?”

TJ sighed and laid the knife down again, his fingers gripped at the edge of the counter, “I - - I . . . I want to make the change . . . but,” TJ’s eyes flickered over to where Steve sat before settling back to Riley.

“But,” Riley prompted with a gentle smile. “You can talk softly if you need to, TJ. I have very good hearing.”

“I’m scared?” TJ muttered softly. 

“You’re scared to leave? Scared to change?” Riley asked, both questions clear and simple.

“Scared to leave . . . I - - I know it’s silly . . . but I keep think he’s going to come back . . . that he’ll hurt me again . . .” TJ murmured, arms wrapping around himself.

“Who says it’s silly?” Riley frowned, eyes worried. “I never said that. Did someone else?” Riley placed a hand on TJ’s shoulder.

“N - - no,” TJ whimpered, eyes falling.

Riley nodded. “TJ, it’s _not_ silly to be afraid. Fear is the mind’s way of making you cautious, to protect you. It’s _not_ silly to not be able to tell your mind what fears are getting in the way, are too strong for the situation. Does that make sense?”

“I - - I . . . I just feel scared all the time?” TJ muttered, hugging himself tighter.

“Well, you were attacked. It makes perfect sense that you fear it will happen again. It happened in what should have been a safe place, so it’s perfectly reasonable you’re afraid there are few safe places left. Your apartment has proven safe. So, you don’t want to leave. You don’t want to be attacked. Am I wrong on any of this?” Riley smiled softly, but his smile spoke of worry, not amusement.

TJ shook his head, fingers flexing on his biceps nervously.

“So, tell me if I get this wrong,” Riley squeezed TJ’s shoulder lightly, “you want to be able to tell your mind when to reel in those fears so you can go out with friends, shop, and do other activities you once enjoyed, while still keeping a bit alert so you can tell when something might be coming?”

Nodding, TJ answered softly, “yes.”

Nodding, Riley squeezed lightly another time. “So far, none of that sounds silly to me. It sounds like a reasonable desire and one we can hopefully meet together. I understand you’re leaving on your wedding trip, soon. Will you consider coming to talk with me after you return? Let me help you find ways to understand and control your own fears. Not get rid of them. That would make you weak. But to control them so you can do what you enjoy?”

“I - - I’d like that . . .” TJ said softly, looking over at Riley.

Riley offered a gentle smile. “So, what is it you put in your sauce to make it smell so delicious?” He made the subject change very obvious, signaling TJ that he wouldn’t keep at the issue all night. But he also squeezed the man’s shoulder, letting him silently know that he would listen if TJ wanted to talk.

Smiling softly, TJ flushed and looked over at the pot of sauce which had been turned on low heat. “If I tell you, I’d have to kill you,” TJ teased with a small smile.

Laughing outright, Riley said, “don’t want that. I’ve got lots of plans. So, why don’t I just enjoy without the secret knowledge.” He grinned at his new friend.

Several more minutes passed before Bucky and Nat, Doug and Anne showed up. Riley seemed to take that as a cue to go hunt up Steve to sound out for counseling. He winked at Sam in passing, giving him the secret signal that he was definitely arranging a future meeting with TJ. Within half an hour, Riley and Steve came out of the bedroom where Riley had gone under the pretense of looking at the drawings. He winked again at his husband and moved to the group to meet the other guests at last.

Steve slipped into the kitchenette and took a deep breath, hand shaking as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Looking over from where he was grabbing plates to set on the table, TJ smiled softly, “Riley get to you, too?”

Nodding, Steve stepped over and hugged his fiancee fiercely. “Yeah, he . . . he got me talking without me wanting to. I don’t know how, but I don’t feel . . . violated or afraid? I didn’t even need the inhaler, TJ.” Steve looked at his lover. “I agreed to meet with him after our honeymoon.”

Setting the plates on the counter, TJ grinned up at the blond, “that’s great, Steve! My brave Captain.”

Steve smiled softly and touched foreheads. “Did . . . did you think about meeting Riley?”

“I agreed,” TJ nodded.

Steve breathed out in relief and smiled wide. “That’s great. I did ask if we could go together, and he said we could sometimes. But he said that there would be times we might want to see him solo, too. That we’d have to wait and feel it out. He said, if you wanted, our first session can be as a couple. Just to get to know him and him know us.” He smiled at TJ. “Do you think that would work for you, baby?” Counseling was not an area a dom could control for a sub.

“It’s whatever would make you most comfortable, Steve . . . I’ve been to counseling before,” TJ said softly, opening the fridge to grab the bottle of sparkling grape juice.

“Yeah, I forget,” Steve chuckled a bit nervously. “Would you mind? Coming to my first session? The last time I tried for counseling, I was told it was my fault and I should’ve kept my mouth shut.” Steve shuddered, but he remained calm. He’d done a lot of talking about his trauma the last week or so, even if he hadn’t meant to.

“Of course I wouldn’t mind,” TJ smiled and grabbed the plates and the bottle to carry them to the table.

Steve let TJ handle the dinnerware, pulling out cutlery and silverware for his guests. Things were going to be odd since there was no dining table. They’d have much on the coffee table and the hot food on the island counter top. People would be scattered over couches, chairs, and stools. Steve had even moved the chairs from the two bedroom desks for added seating. He laughed at the motley appearance. “Who else suddenly feels like we’re having Thanksgiving in early October? This place reminds me of Bucky’s during the holidays.”

Natasha laughed, “well, it’s even more crowded than our place during the holidays.”

“I’d say,” Bucky joined the laughter. “Is it evil of me to want Christmas now?” He grinned across at Doug and Anne.

“Ugh,” Doug sighed overdramatically, “don’t you _dare_ start talking about Christmas before Halloween!”

Bucky laughed, Steve joining in. Peggy snorted. Obviously they knew something Doug didn’t. Steve shook his head, nicely trying to explain for those who didn’t know. “George Barnes would wait for Bucky to go to school on the _first day_ , and he’d come home to find an artificial tree up and decorated.”

Bucky continued snickering. “Every damn year! It wasn’t until I was on my own that I was able to take my holidays one at a time. He’d have left the tree up if I’d let him!”

TJ listened closely, his head slightly tilted. There was so much he didn’t know about his biological father. This man in the story sounded so much different than the ones he’d heard so far where George would get drunk and hit Bucky.

“Oh, and when Becca got old enough to rebel?” Bucky shook his head. “Remember the year, Steve, when Becca came down in the middle of the night right around Halloween and changed all the decorations out for blue and white? When Dad asked her why, she said she was sick of Christmas and wanted to celebrate Chanukah.” Bucky shook his head. “Coulda knocked Dad over with a breath before he started yelling at her for being so damn sacrilegious and grounded her for three weeks.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, and I was so little you had me dress up in a stupid costume and go out trick or treating for her, since she wasn’t allowed. I got a pillowcase full of candy for her.”

“Dressed . . .” Bucky laughed hard, almost choking, “dressed as Dorothy from Wizard of Oz!”

Steve flushed but continued laughing. “It was _her_ costume. Not like I had one, after all. But it fit me.” He grinned at TJ. “Your twin is a damn bully when he wants to be. Wouldn’t let me back out!”

TJ smiled softly at Steve and laughed quietly, shaking his head as he walked back into the kitchen to set out the food on the counter so people could start dishing up.

Steve excused himself, still chuckling, and followed to help his lover. “I was eighteen and she was eight, TJ. Can you believe I fit her damn costume?”

Looking over his shoulder from where he was draining the noodles in the sink, TJ shook his head, “I can’t imagine you that tiny.” TJ frowned, thinking over the timeline, “wait . . . you were eighteen?”

“Yeah, I hit my growth spurt the next month,” Steve said, “and was on a break from college for a couple days. I looked like a twelve year old and Becca was a big kid for her age, tall and slender.”

“Did - - didn’t your mom . . .” TJ let the sentence trail off.

Steve nodded and stepped over to TJ, pulling him to touch foreheads. “Yeah, on the twenty fifth of October, baby. I think Bucky was trying to get me out of my depression as much as get his sister candy.”

TJ frowned and looked up at Steve, “but that’s only - - what? Seven days?”

“Yeah, just about,” Steve sighed, no longer laughing. “No one says Bucky was the cleverest eighteen year old around, baby. But he has always had a good heart and tried to help people. And, did you know? The best thing about it was Becca’s tears of happiness and her thanks when Bucky had me give her the sack of candy. I felt it was definitely worth it.” Steve stroked TJ’s cheek. “I felt like I’d taken care of something for her, and it made me happy. That was when I discovered I like taking care of people.”

Smiling softly, pushing into Steve’s touch, TJ muttered, “well, I’m glad you did it then.”

Steve nodded. “So am I, baby. It set me up to eventually take care of you.” He blinked and chuckled, “her brother.” He shook his head and kissed TJ’s forehead.

TJ hummed in agreement and then turned back around to finish setting out the large pot of red sauce, noodles, and meatballs, as well as the fresh salad with different types of dressings for people to choose from. Looking down at the setup TJ nodded in approval and then looked up at Steve with a smile.

Steve smiled back. “This is gorgeous, baby. You make me proud to bring people home.” Steve had no problem praising TJ in public. He walked over and touched the choker around his lover’s neck and smiled. “And it looks wonderful. I can’t wait to eat. I’ll get the garlic bread.” He walked back into the kitchenette and several of their friends mentioned how great things smelled and looked.

TJ smiled and flushed at the compliments. Doug looked around and smiled; this dinner party was nothing like the ones he’d been to in the past. Everyone was happy and no one was trying to cause drama.

Anne seemed as relaxed and happy, sliding her hand over Doug’s thigh as she took her first bite. “My God, TJ, this is heaven!” She beamed at her brother-in-law. “If you cook everything like this, I’m thinking of hiring you as our caterer!”

Flushing brighter, TJ smiled sheepishly at her, “thanks, Anne.” Steve returned with the bread and sat down, close to TJ, the length of their legs pressed together.

No one noticed as the time passed amid stories and laughter, the strangers acting more like long time friends with each other. Finally, Luna jumped up on Anne’s lap then went trotting across Doug, Bucky, Nat, then TJ. She sat down, tail flipping quickly, and the kitten gave him a stare only a cat could muster.

TJ laughed and scratched her behind her ears, “I think she’s hungry.” The brunet stood up, taking Luna with him.

Steve smiled. “Phil’s been good, but he’ll need a bathroom break. Give us a moment and we’ll be right back?” He grabbed the puppy’s leash, eliciting a happy yip from his dog. Steve and Phil took off.

Riley smiled. “Well, once he returns, I think it’s time I got home to bed. I have appointments in the morning.”

Sam, stifling a yawn with his hand, nodded his agreement, “yeah, I’m beat.”

Others began murmuring their own agreements, smiling to TJ as they waited for Steve’s return before leaving. TJ walked into the kitchen, setting down the kitten so he could give her some food, bending down to grab her food dish.

Bucky followed his twin, aching from avoiding him all evening. He reached out and stroked a hand down TJ’s spine from neck to butt. “Brother mine,” he cooed very softly, unaware that Riley had turned to get some more water and stood watching surprised.

Visibly shivering under the touch, TJ turned and looked at his brother, also seeming unaware of Riley watching. “Miss you, baby brother,” TJ said just as softly, his face close to Bucky’s, but TJ wouldn’t risk kissing his twin with so many people in the next room. However, he did trace his fingers lightly down Bucky’s side, over his ribcage and towards his hip bone.

 

Withdrawing from the room silently, not drawing attention to the fact that the twins had a witness, Riley kept his knowledge to himself. He would bring it up, one on one, later with TJ. For now, he didn’t want to shame his new friend.

Bucky purred lightly under the caress and leaned in, a phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and frowned softly. “TJ?” His voice was a bare whisper. “Need to take this.”

Frowning at his brother’s tone, TJ took the phone and looked down at it. Seeing Steve’s name on the screen, he answered the call with a small, “hello?”

“Baby? Gonna take a bit longer. Let them know they can go, though. I’m fine, nothing wrong, but I’m kind of held up. A police investigator caught me so I’m gonna talk to him out here instead of bringing him up. If you can let me know when they're gone?”

“Police? Why - - are they right out front?” TJ looked to Bucky with worried eyes.

“Coming over to get more information, TJ. I’m fielding them.” Steve’s voice came out sure, certain, firm.

“O - - okay,” TJ muttered softly, “I’ll let you know when everyone is gone . . .”

“If you wanna keep Bucky or Doug, go ahead, baby,” Steve offered before adding, “love you, TJ.” He hung up.

Looking at Bucky, TJ frowned and said, “the police are outside?”

“What? Why?” Bucky sat forward, worried that someone might’ve tried to mug Steve.

“I guess they want more info . . . Steve wants me to let him know when everyone leaves . . .” TJ chewed his bottom lip, looking nervous.

Riley walked over to TJ and hugged him gently. “I’ll call you in a couple of days to find out your travel plans. Then we can arrange a visit. I had a wonderful time. Your food probably made me gain five pounds. And I would love to be able to entertain like you do.” Riley pulled back and offered TJ another smile.

“Thank you, Riley, I’ll be in touch,” TJ offered Riley a half smile, distracted by his worry over the police coming to ask questions. Did they not believe the second attack was attempted rape? Had the video made it so they didn’t trust TJ?

Peggy hugged TJ next and whispered, “I know you’ll be good for Steve, and he’ll be good to you. It’s good to see love finally shining in his eyes.” She pulled back and took Liz’s hand. “We’ll let you go now. Sharon, you coming?”

With a grin, a nod, the blond said goodbye and followed her cousins from the apartment. Riley tugged Sam’s arm to get him out of the apartment, as well.

Doug and Anne gave TJ a hug, Doug looked at his brother and noticed the nervous behavior. He looked to Bucky with a soft frown.

“Mind if I stay here with you?” Bucky asked casually, glancing at his wife with a smile.

“No, I . . . I don’t mind,” TJ said softly, now that everyone was gone, aside from Doug, Anne and Natasha, he stepped closer to his biological twin, who wrapped his arms securely around his waist, hugging him close. TJ nuzzled Bucky’s neck, kissing the skin softly.

Anne touched Doug’s arm, “we should give them some time?” she asked.

Doug nodded, kissing his wife’s temple and guiding her from the apartment.

A few minutes later, after Doug and Anne left the apartment, TJ slumped into one of the stools and sent Steve a quick message saying the apartment had cleared out. He put his head in his hands and tried to focus on taking deep breaths, his fingers clutching, tugging slightly at his hair.

Bucky sank down to the stool next to TJ’s and leaned over. “Did Steve say what’s going on, TJ?”

“J - - just that they want information . . . what if they don’t believe me? What if Brock gets out?” TJ whimpered, fingers tightening in his hair.

Bucky nodded. “If they don’t believe you, they’re blind idiots, TJ. If Brock gets out, there’s going to be a manhunt to get him back.” He reached over and took TJ’s hand.

A knock sounded at the front door then Steve opened the door, walking in with a lone police officer. “Thanks for waiting, sir,” Steve said. “TJ? Officer Barton is here to get your statement? It concerns,” he glanced at the familiar cop then at TJ, “it concerns if you want to charge for every time Brock came near you after the first attack, or just the _last_ time.” Steve intently looked at TJ, reminding him silently that there had been the time they’d locked themselves in the history room as well as the bar fight, both also due to Brock.

Lifting his head to look at Steve and then Officer Barton, TJ nodded as he slipped out of the stool. He didn’t know if he should charge for every contact or not . . . would it strengthen the case they already had against Brock?

Clint Barton clearly said, “I’m recording this interview to protect both of us. Will you tell me about the first attack, please? We’ll get into each one individually.” Holding up a hand, he assured, “bare facts. We don’t need graphic detail unless you wish, TJ, just enough to get the general idea of what this guy was doing. We’re thinking of adding stalking charges.”

TJ looked at Steve and then back at the officer; he knew Bucky and Natasha were still in the apartment. His brother, even Steve, didn’t know _everything_ that happened in that classroom. He didn’t think they had watched the entire video of the rape.

Bucky stepped up next to TJ and touched his arm. “I’m here, brother mine, Go ahead and tell him.”

Slowly, TJ nodded and then began, wanting to get this over with as fast as possible, “Brock Rumlow snuck into my classroom without me seeing him . . . he - - uh . . . wrapped his arms around my waist and . . .” TJ’s pale eyes flickered to look at Steve, the blush brightening and spreading to the back of his neck.

Steve stepped over to his fiancee and pulled him carefully back, flush to his stronger body. He whispered, “right here, TJ. I’m here, baby.”

“Rumlow . . . grinded against me and I asked him to let me go . . . but he didn’t . . . he kept touching me,” TJ released a deep breath, looking embarrassed and ashamed.

Clint asked his first question.”When did you figure out it was Rumlow, sir?”

“He . . . uh - - spoke? I recognized his voice right away,” TJ answered, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.

Clint nodded and asked, “and when did you . . . stop telling him to stop?”

TJ’s jaw ticked and he swallowed before answering, “I didn’t? I kept telling him no.”

“Sir, in my viewing, I noticed you began to tell him to stop fairly quickly. There’s no sound on the audio, and we’ve had lip readers translate what was said. Do you want to change what you’re saying?” Clint’s voice was neutral.

“He - - he was hurting me . . . uh - - didn’t . . .” TJ looked at Bucky and ducked his head. “What? Change what I’m saying? I don’t understand,” he looked up at Barton.

Steve kissed TJ’s neck carefully and whispered, “it’s okay, TJ. He just wants to make sure you’re sure of what your saying.”

TJ whimpered softly. Why would he lie about something like this?

Bucky reached over with a gentle hand and touched his brother’s cheek, the non-injured one. “Hey, TJ, it’s okay. Go ahead, TJ. Tell him what happened.”

“Brock . . . I wasn’t prepared and he didn’t use - - lube . . . it really hurt . . .” TJ didn’t meet the cop’s eyes, keeping his head bowed. TJ could remember the tearing of his skin and muscles on that initial push . . . the excruciating pain that came with each brutal thrust.

Clint nodded upon getting the answer. He asked, his tone gentling, “did you get injured?”

TJ nodded, “he . . . tore me - - on the inside? An - - and bruised me?”

Clint nodded again. He looked at TJ as he asked his next question, “did you ask to be injured, sir?”

Mortified tears welled in TJ’s eyes as he shook his head, barely managing to mutter a broken, “no.” He couldn’t look at anyone in the room, head bowed as he continued to play with the hem of his shirt.

“And,” Clint spoke gently again, “did you show anyone your injuries? Tell anyone what happened? Go get help of any kind?”

“Yes . . . I - - I went to the h - - hospital . . . th - - they tested me . . .” TJ swallowed, trying to clear his tightening throat. The rape kit had been so _invasive_ , he’d never forget that . . . or how Bucky had held his hand the entire time.

Clint offered a sympathetic nod. “That matches what we saw in the video and have on record. Take a deep breath, sir. And tell me about the second attack. The next encounter?”

“Um . . . well, Brock showed up at a club we were at about two weeks after the attack?” TJ looked at the cop, eyes shining with tears, though they didn’t spill over.

Clint nodded. “You’re safe, TJ,” he said softly. “The building’s secure. Steve and I checked while we waited for your party to end. What happened at the bar?”

Steve cuddled TJ and gently kissed his neck. “I’m here, baby. Bucky and Natasha are here.”

“Brock . . . just said some nasty things . . . stuff about my past and then - -” TJ looked up at Steve and then back at the officer.

Steve said, “it’s okay, baby, you can tell him everything. I won’t get mad.”

“S - - Steve pushed him back . . . Brock got mad - - there was a fight . . . it all happened fast. We were thrown out and Brock left,” TJ swallowed and he hugged himself.

Clint looked at TJ silently for a long moment before asking, “at any time did you think, even without proof, that Brock Rumlow was following you or specifically waiting for you?”

“A - - all the time? I - - I’d hear stuff behind me or around a corner or something . . . and when I looked . . . no one was there,” TJ’s jaw ticked; he’d never told anyone about the noises he’d heard between the first and second attack.

Nodding, Clint offered an encouraging smile. “Were there any times you actually saw him?”

“J - - just once more, well twice, the next time was at the school, you came?” TJ supplied softly.

“Tell me anyway?” Clint nodded. “I’m trying to do a timeline in order, so this helps organize things, like his possible activity schedule.”

“Um . . . we had to pick up some things from the school and we went to Steve’s classroom . . . uh - - Brock showed up right behind him . . . said some more nasty things and he touched my choker . . .” TJ released a shaky breath, “Steve called 911 and Brock ran off after we’d locked ourselves in Steve’s classroom.”

“That sums up that day nicely. Thank you, and any other times?” Clint watched TJ with understanding eyes.

“J - - just the second attack?” TJ whimpered softly, wanting nothing more than for the conversation to be over.

Clint noted TJ’s affect and assured, “Please? Briefly. We have your full report, just take me through the bare facts?”

“Um . . .” TJ swallowed, “Brock cornered me in my supply closet, shut us both in. He - - he choked me . . . was grinding - -”

Clint touched TJ’s wrist, “TJ? It’s okay. Stop. Basically, he cornered you and your brother interfered?”

TJ blinked and looked at Clint, the lean brunet flushed and nodded.

“I don’t mind, but you started getting lost in the past, and I don’t want to drive you into that. I just needed a loose timeline. Are you okay?” Clint asked gently.

“I’m . . . fine,” TJ said softly, not lifting his head.

Clint offered a small, encouraging smile. “Almost done, sir. Did you get medical help, sir?”

“Yeah . . .” TJ nodded, “my eye was really swollen . . . Steve was worried that the socket might’ve be broken.”

“That’s not very common,” Clint clarified. “Especially for men. Many won’t seek medical help. Your answers match what I saw in the video. We can make a case against him. Did you ever file a restraining order against him?”

Looking at Clint, TJ blinked; how had he not thought of a restraining order? “Uh - - no? I - - I never thought of it . . .”

“A lot of people don’t, TJ. Many can’t even recognize stalking behaviors until they’re attacked or so terrified they can’t leave their houses.”

“And . . . it won’t affect my ongoing case against Mr. Rumlow? He’s telling everyone that we were boyfriends and that I - - _wanted it rough_.” TJ asked softly, worry in his pale eyes.

Clint looked genuinely surprised. “Of course it will, Mr. Hammond. It’s going to prove that this man keeps cornering and raping you. That you were attacked not once, but twice, in your classroom. Boyfriend claims or not, he has no right to hurt you, especially if you tell him to stop. If he’s going for the boyfriend rights angle, he’ll find a lot of people riled up against such caveman attitudes.”

Wiping quickly at the tears that fell down from his eyes, despite rubbing against the sore bruise, TJ nodded, “h - - he won’t get out?”

Clint sighed and said, “I don’t know. If justice serves, not for a long time. But he has to go through trial, with a jury of his peers. I can guarantee that it won’t matter to the judge if either of you are gay or straight. He or she will treat you with the respect of listening to all sides. Sexual preference has nothing to do with rape.” Apparently Officer Barton had dealt with rape victims before.

TJ nodded and released a shaky breath, “is there . . . anything else?”

“Not tonight, and I’m sorry to have sprung this on you. But, in light of the security tape leak, I thought you would want to get us working on all of the crimes right away. Do you have any representatives to help you? We’ll have the prosecutor contact you, but sometimes people want personal lawyers involved as well.” Clint glanced over, not wanting to miss TJ’s response.

“My . . . my dad is having our lawyers look into it?” TJ looked at Bucky, knowing that Bucky had been the one to speak with Bud.

Nodding, Clint pulled out a card. He handed it to TJ, though he kept watching Bucky. “Here’s my specific card, with my numbers. The prosecution is going to want an impartial translator to study the video since it was through translation that we recognized your verbal cues, as well as the physical ones. Will that be okay?”

TJ nodded, “yeah, that’s okay.”

“Thank you for your time. Please try to rest. If you leave town, which is perfectly fine, can you get me your contact info so we can ask for more help or even offer help you might want?” Clint offered a smile to TJ.

Nodding, TJ pulled out of Steve’s arms so he could write down all his contact information and give the slip of paper to the officer.

Clint took the paper and glanced over it then put it in his notebook. He looked at TJ a long moment before looking to Bucky then back to TJ. “Do you feel as if you are in danger, at home or anything, Mr. Hammond? Can law enforcement do anything to help you?”

TJ blinked, surprised by the question, “I - - I . . . I don’t know if law enforcement can do anything . . .”

Sighing, Clint nodded. “If you need security recommendations or anything, let us know. We take your safety seriously. We are here to _help_ the public.”

Nodding, TJ gave Clint a small smile, “thank you, Officer Barton.”

Clint smiled in return, his eyes now fully on TJ. He offered his hand for a shake. Clint said, “Thank you for speaking with me, Mr. Hammond. I’ll see this case through to the end. You have my word.”

Shaking Clint’s hand, giving the man a nod, TJ said again, “thank you . . . that means a lot to me, really.”

Nodding, Barton turned and let himself from the apartment and down the stairs.

Steve drew a breath and cuddled his lover. “Wow. When he accosted me outside to ask about the video, I wasn’t sure if I should give in and bring him up.”

Natasha stayed silent, though she looked angry.

Bucky blew out his breath and sank onto the couch, dragging his wife with him in a tight cuddle. “That . . . my God, TJ. I wish . . . I wish I’d broken his neck instead of just choking him when I caught his ass!”

TJ hugged himself and his body trembled slightly, “I’m - - I’m sorry . . . you had to hear that, Bucky . . . Natasha . . .”

Steve encircled TJ and pulled him flush backwards, neck to ankles, against Steve’s hard body. “Hey, baby, breathe for me. Breathe.” He kissed TJ’s neck. “Bucky, Natasha, and I already imagined as much had happened, so it’s good to know for sure. Okay? Now we’re certain of how warped Brock is, how he’d hurt people. We’ll get him locked away so no one else has to go through the same torture.” Steve kissed TJ’s neck over and over between words, soft touches.

TJ tried to take deep breaths, trying to match his breathing with Steve’s. He looked over at Bucky; TJ’s pale eyes filled with embarrassment and misery. He could feel Brock’s hands all over his body, that deep rasp in his ear . . . tearing, splitting pain deep inside him.

Bucky stepped forward and hugged his twin, sealing TJ in a sandwich of love between him and Steve. “ _My_ brother,” he growled and kissed TJ firmly on the lips.

TJ whimpered against his brother’s lips, a sound of need mixed with fear. He pulled back slightly and nodded, nuzzling against Bucky’s neck, letting out a ragged breath. “I - - I should’ve fought back h - - harder . . .”

“TJ,” Bucky’s voice came out stern. “If you had, you think Brock would’ve just let you go with a rape? My God, he probably would have killed you. Most cops will tell you that sometimes the safest thing is giving in if you can’t get away.”

“B - - But I - - I could’ve done m - - more . . . tried to hit him . . . _anything_ ,” TJ whimpered.

“TJ, please stop beating yourself up over it.” Bucky hugged again. “You _did_ fight back, brother mine. You did try to hit him and kick him. You forget, I saw that damn video and how hard you fought. I saw your injuries first hand. He’s the one at fault, not you.”

TJ sighed and rested his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder and tried to settle his breathing, needing the feeling of both Steve’s and his brother’s secure embrace. “Y - - you saw i - - it all?” TJ asked softly, voice shaky, “I - - I thought the whole th - - thing wasn’t on the news . . .”

“How come you think I took your phones away, big brother? I didn’t want you seeing it, too. You lived it. You don’t need to see what that monster did to you.” Bucky kissed him again, softly.

“Lesson one, my love,” Steve murmured, still holding his lover strong and secure.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Hammond,” TJ muttered softly.

“And lesson zero?” He reminded TJ.

“Steve loves TJ. TJ loves Steve,” the thin brunet said, slowly beginning to regain control of himself. 

“I think it’s time to get out of your show collar and back into your in-house collar, my love.” Steve smiled, grabbed up the appropriate box, and pulled TJ from Bucky’s embrace, towards the bedroom. He carefully unfastened the choker and laid it on the dresser then lifted the heart-embossed leather from it’s box. He turned, soothing the leather through his fingers. He fastened it around TJ’s neck, kissing his lips. “How’s it feel, baby?”

“G - - good, sir,” TJ mumbled, eyes downcast.

“And now it’s time for another lesson. No one gets in trouble for getting sick or upset. Lesson seven, TJ. Sick is a free pass. No one gets in trouble for sick. Lesson seven?” He smiled softly.

“No - - no one gets in trouble for being sick,” TJ repeated, still looking at the floor.

“TJ, do you want a scarf or your training collar instead?” Steve stroked his arm.

“I - - I . . . don’t know?” TJ muttered brokenly.

Steve nodded and began to suck a deep hickey into the lovely expanse of shoulder, moving the cloth of TJ’s shirt as he worked. He slowly moved slightly, always sucking and lightly pressing with his tongue. Until finally, when he lifted his head, a crude heart had begun to form in red pre-bruising.

“Check in, love?” Steve smiled at his fiancee.

“Green . . . sir,” TJ breathed, looking up at Steve with glazed eyes, a look he only got when he was slipping deep into his submissive nature.

“Look in the mirror. Tell me if the new branding looks right,” Steve encouraged, noting that while they’d been busy, Bucky had let himself and Natasha from the apartment.

Turning to look in the mirror, TJ gasped softly at the definite heart-shaped raised on his shoulder. “Thank you, sir.”

“You are so beautiful, my love. Look at you, wearing a brand only I could give you. That brand marks you as _mine_ ,” he growled and kissed TJ’s lips.

“Your’s, sir, all your’s,” TJ confirmed with a nod.

Steve stripped down and watched TJ as each piece of clothing dropped off, revealing the blue-grey lingerie he put on before the party, what seemed like days ago. He straightened and put his fists on his hips, his member already filling under TJ’s gaze. “Let’s strip and cuddle,” he said.

Nodding, TJ quickly stripped off his clothes, his eyes still blown and glazed, a flush running down his chest. He moved over to the bed and crawled until he was in the center, TJ laid down on his back and looked up at Steve, desperation and want in his eyes.

Steve smiled, leaving his lingerie in place, and crawled into the bed. He deliberately took a couple of hits on his inhaler, silently promising that they could get hot and heavy if they wanted. Steve pulled a bottle of vanilla flavored lube from the drawer and put it in easy reach. He then wrapped his arms around his lover and sighed. He merely cuddled, despite the prep.

Keening, TJ squirmed in Steve’s arms and turned his head to begin suckling at Steve’s chest, tongue flicking over one nipple.

Steve began running his fingers through TJ’s curls, murmuring soft praise. He allowed TJ to do what he wished, monitoring his lover’s excitement rate or exhaustion. He wanted this night to end well for his poor traumatized love. TJ had been through so much, challenging his own anxiety, as well as the video leak and the questing by the police. Steve wanted to make sure TJ wasn’t too badly stimulated. He let his fingers dip softly at the back of TJ’s head, through the curls and down to his back, brushing, very lightly, at his hickey brand.

Mewling, TJ shifted and straddled Steve’s hips, grinding down against the blond’s member as he crashed his lips on his fiancee’s. TJ’s teeth tugged and pulled at Steve’s plush bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth.

“Frisky, my love?” Steve chuckled, accepting the behavior as a sign of wanting more. He reached down and took TJ’s hand then ran it over the lingerie. “Got something in the way. Need to remove it, but I don’t want these ripped. They remind me of my love’s eyes.”

Whimpering in need, TJ slid down Steve’s body, letting his tongue slide against the blond’s skin as he went, until finally, his teeth caught on the hemline of the panties and began to carefully pull them down with only his teeth.

Steve continued to brush through TJ’s curls, making soft, appreciative noises to encourage his love, displaying his enjoyment of the attention.

TJ finally pulled off the lingerie and then began to trail kisses up Steve’s legs, nipping and lapping as he went. TJ finally made it to Steve’s crotch and purposely avoided the blond’s member, kissing only his pelvis and hips.

Steve reached down and tugged at TJ’s hair. “Want you to turn around so I can taste you while you tend me, pet. Come on, bring that beautiful body over here.”

With a moan, TJ turned around and shimmied back until his ass was in reach of Steve but he could continue his play with Steve’s crotch.

Steve smiled and gently encircled one hand over TJ’s hip, with the other he gripped TJ’s member and began to engulf it, making small sucking actions as he swallowed it slowly down, humming for the first time against his lover’s shaft and vibrating the spongy tip.

Releasing a gasping groan, TJ’s hips bucked slightly as he finally wrapped his lips around Steve’s cockhead, swirling his tongue around it and humming in return.

Steve took a long time enjoying the feel and taste of his boyfriend, pulling back to suck long across TJ’s member then swallowing it down a bit more with each new engulfing. He hummed and sucked, laved and lapped.

TJ moaned around Steve’s member, taking it deeper in his mouth, unable to swallow it completely due to the odd angle. He tried not to thrust too much into Steve’s mouth, but his hips were jerking involuntarily with each hum.

Finally, Steve pulled back, guiding TJ’s hips up so his member pulled out of Steve’s throat and mouth. “Feels like you need something, love. Demonstrate lesson two for me.”

Pulling off Steve’s member with an obscene pop, TJ glanced over his shoulder and touched the collars around his neck, his swollen lips pulled into a seductive smirk.

Steve grabbed the bottle of lube, opened it, and began pouring it on his fingers. He reached over and dribbled a bit down the crack of TJ’s ass. “So gonna work you over, baby. Gonna make you cum so hard for me.” Steve let the recapped bottle fall to the sheets and ran his thumbs over TJ’s rim, massaging the ring of muscle and the sensitive flesh around it.

Moaning, TJ’s hips rolled back and he said, “oh . . . yes, sir! Please . . . make me cum for my Captain!”

“Should I make you cum from touch alone? And fill your ass while you’re cumming?” Steve murmured as he massage and lightly tugged, working the muscle with both strong, calloused thumbs.

“Oh - - yes, please, sir!” TJ groaned needily, hips pushing back against Steve’s hands. TJ panted and his hands gripped the comforter tightly. He bowed his head and took Steve’s tip into his mouth.

Steve groaned in appreciation. He moved his thumbs and one began to work into TJ. He curved his thumb so that he stretched TJ’s opening, little by little, adding a long lick to TJ’s taint and a nuzzle against the bottom of his heavy sac. “Tell me when you want both thumbs, baby,” he instructed and he continued to work his lover.

After a few minutes of Steve working him open, TJ pulled off Steve’s member and panted out, “now . . . sir.”

Steve slid his first thumb deeper then followed slowly with his other thumb, pistoning them so one pulled out at the same time the other pushed in, over and over.

Moaning loudly, TJ’s tried to match Steve’s pace, but with the continuous thrusting inside his passage, he found that task hard to complete.

Smiling in mischief, Steve pulled both thumbs out and thrust them both in, the width of his thumbs having worked TJ open enough to encompass three fingers. He leaned up and again started licking and gently sucking at his lover’s sac and taint, careful not to bruise him.

“Sir! Oh - -” TJ whimpered, trying to push Steve’s thumbs deeper. The brunet’s erection was already dripping precum. “Please . . . ah - - Captain!”

“Almost, baby, just a bit more,” Steve cooed in a soothing tone. He began stretching carefully, pulling his thumbs slightly apart as he worked them in and out of his love. Due to his position and the shortness of his thumbs, he’d not been able to tease TJ’s prostate, but that meant his lover was further from release, had to work towards it. If he planned on sliding into TJ during orgasm, he needed his lover’s passage open enough to take him easily, so Steve lovingly worked TJ with that goal in mind.

TJ released small little whimpering keens, his face flushed and skin misting with sweat. “Sir - -” TJ cried out, hips thrusting.

“Tell me when you wanna cum, baby,” Steve slid his thumbs back to toy with the sensitive opening, positioning himself to be ready, closer to enter his lover despite their positioning with TJ over top of him. He kept massaging, lapping and moving to suckle TJ’s sac, one ball at a time, rolling it in his mouth carefully before swapping, over and over.

Only a few minutes passed before TJ moaned, “n - - now, sir . . . oh - - please!”

Steve pulled his thumbs out and leaned up to give his lover a kiss on his passage then lined TJ up but not touching him with Steve’s large tool. He moaned out, “cum for me, baby. Cover me. Make your Captain dirty with your love.”

With a cry, TJ’s entire body shuddered as he released thick, hot stripes of cum, hips stuttering.

As TJ began to cum, Steve lined up and slid in, slowly, feeling the muscles fluttering and clenching around him. He took extra care not to rip or hurt his lover as he moved past the uncontrollable contractions deep inside TJ’s ass. As TJ finished shooting his load, Steve bottomed out with a soft groan. “Damn, baby, so hot for me.”

TJ cried out again in pure pleasure as Steve’s member slid against his sensitive walls and prostate. His hips involuntarily pushed back, pushing Steve in deeper. TJ’s chest heaved as he moaned and keened.

Not moving, staying absolutely still buried in his lover, Steve sighed happily. “So perfect for me, baby. Check in, love.” He kept his breathing steady, as well.

“Oh - - green, sir . . . ‘m your’s, sir . . . ‘m your’s . . .” TJ moaned, his head bowed, sweat damp hair falling to slightly hide his face.

“Happy?” Steve cooed gently.

“Yes, sir . . .” TJ keened with a nod.

Steve nodded. “Feel satisfied, baby?” he crooned.

“Yes, sir . . . you satisfy me, Captain . . .” TJ breathed, the fullness inside him making his nerves fire off happily.

Softly, Steve purred, “sleepy love?” He still didn’t move, keeping his love filled, their combined breathing causing miniscule movements inside to keep a very light stimulation going, but nothing dramatic or intense.

Humming, always tired after release, TJ nodded.

“Then fall asleep. I’ll hold you and protect you, TJ, pet.” Steve carefully wrapped his arms around his fiancee.

“Mm’kay,” TJ muttered, falling limp in Steve’s arms, content and satisfied. Within moments, TJ was fast asleep in his lover’s embrace.

Content, still feeling his lover’s mini contractions around his member, keeping his erection going, Steve just held TJ as he slept off the effects of the day topped by an orgasm. Steve didn’t care if he was covered in semen, unfulfilled and hard, aching, he felt his heart twist a bit in that feeling people associated with love. Resting, Steve held his fiancee close and safe, pleased he’d been able to calm and satisfy TJ even with the hard day. He loved making TJ happy, content.


	15. Public Unity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: Bondage, Spanking, Exhibitionism, Fantasy Role Play, Wedding, Total Shaving

TJ looked out the window with a wide smile as he watched the expanse of forest blur past them. They were in a large van that was able to hold all six of the passengers and the three pets. Finally after a nearly one hour drive from the airport, the van pulled to a stop in front of a large, log cabin that was backed up against a river. The surrounding area was covered in trees of varying colors: reds, oranges and yellows. TJ looked to Steve, excitement in his pale eyes.

Steve reached over and touched TJ’s good cheek then dropped his hand to TJ’s shoulder. “What you wanted, baby? We have to go up to the lodge for the ceremony, but then we come back as husbands.”

Grinning, TJ nodded and looked back out the window; the driver had already gotten out and was unloading their bags. “We’re getting married, Steve!”

Nodding, smiling, Steve said, “we’re getting married in four hours, TJ.” He leaned over and kissed his fiancee’s lips. “Then even the law will agree that you belong to me, sweetheart.”

Returning the kiss and then ducking his head to nuzzle Steve’s neck, TJ murmured, “my sir, my Captain, my husband.”

“My good boy, my love, my husband,” Steve responded.

Natasha opened the door, the other passengers having already filed out, “coming, lovebirds? If I recall, we have a wedding to get ready for?” She smirked at the two men embracing.

“We are definitely going to be coming,” Steve said, not meaning anything sexual in the comment as he stood and climbed from the van. He offered TJ a hand out, smiling.

TJ took the hand and hopped out of the van, smiling at Steve and Natasha.

Steve turned and slid the cat carrier out, passing it to Natasha before grabbing Luna’s case and giving it to TJ. He took Phil’s carrier himself. Offering a smile to the men unloading their other things, Steve said, “thanks. We really appreciate this.” He knew it was part of the service, but appreciation rarely went unappreciated.

Doug smiled as he walked up to Steve and TJ, “Steve, this place is gorgeous!”

Nodding, Steve said, “Yeah, I looked for several hours until I found what met our wants. We’re only a mile from the main lodge and from there a short trip to town. But we’re also very private here. It’d be a great ski area . . . actually is, but they don’t mind people coming for the other seasons.” Steve hugged TJ to him one-armed, still carrying the puppy carrier. “There’s all kinds of nature activities available, but there’s also some board games and stuff in the cabin if we wanna hole up.”

TJ leaned into the hug and looked around; the lodge was beautiful, everything he’d imagine when Steve had told him they were going to Colorado.

“Wanna go inside and get our room? It’s got a fireplace if we want to use it, I’m told.” Steve walked his lover towards the cabin, grinning as Bucky came tearing around the side like a child on vacation. “There’s a lake right out back!” he ran around the cabin and back towards the lake once more.

Steve laughed. “Now, that’s a sight I haven’t witnessed since we were fifteen! He sobered up a lot after his birthday.” Steve grinned down at TJ. “Once we get inside, we can let loose the furries.”

TJ laughed at his brother and then nodded at Steve, “yeah, let’s go check out our room.”

Once they got inside, Steve took in the central room of the cabin, equipped with three large backless couches and a pair of deep lounge chairs. There was a plush rug, but no fur, amidst the seating as well as a pair of tables along the sides. A dining area held a table large enough for eight to sit comfortably with an attached kitchen stocked with modern appliances. Around a corner sat a small laundry room and a large bathroom with a built in Jacuzzi and separate shower. The four bedrooms each came with _en suite_ bathrooms with showers and lounging tubs. A back patio and deck led down to the lakeside that had so excited Bucky. There was seating with a contained fire-pit at one side and a large hot tub along the other. The cabin answered all honeymoon requirements for a small group rather than a solo pair.

Steve smiled and let go of TJ so he could stoop down and let Phil out of his carrier. “Freedom!” he laughed then looked up at TJ. “Whatcha think, baby? Good enough?”

TJ looked stunned, his mouth hanging open slightly as he took in the warm, inviting space. “Good enough? It’s . . . perfect!” TJ grinned and crouched down to let Luna out of her cage as well.

“So, you can do two weeks of honeymoon here?” Steve smiled, straightening.

Looking up at Steve, still kneeling, TJ smirked devilishly, “oh, I think I can manage that.”

“Ready to dress for our wedding, baby? I want you to pick the color you wanna get married in. I’ll choose your outfit, okay?” Steve stepped closer and offered his hands to his lover.

Nodding, TJ let Steve hoist him to his feet and then followed Steve into what would be their bedroom for two weeks. TJ smiled at the large bed in the center to the room, the frame looked like it was made out of logs and the bedding was a deep red. He couldn’t believe that in four hours he’d be marrying Steve . . . one of the men whom he loved more than anyone else in the world.

Steve chuckled as Luna slinked in and jumped onto the bed, purring loudly as the comforter sank a bit while the kitten walked across it. She flopped down and let out a kitty sigh of pleasure, curling into the middle of the bed and purring her way to a generous cat nap. “What’s your color, love?”

Turning to look back at Steve, TJ grinned and said, “can it be two colors, sir?”

“If that’s what you want. Of course, if you want to choose your own outfit, you can do that. Nothing you own is inappropriate, TJ. You can mix and match and choose and never fear you’ll go wrong.” Steve walked over and kissed his lips. Steve had purposely arranged TJ’s wardrobe to give his lover the ability to relax if he chose something; he wouldn’t embarrass himself or Steve by making a fashion mistake.

Thinking for a moment, having thought of something entirely different at first, but rethinking the initial decision, TJ said, “blue, sir.” He knew that blue was Steve’s favorite color and hoped that wearing it on their wedding day would make Steve happy.

Steve chuckled. “Married in blue, your lover is true,” Steve recited. He walked over to their cases and began going through them. He pulled out a pair of silky blue lounge pants, not his normal pants and something TJ hadn’t seen before. They looked like they had an Oriental style so looked more dressy than informal. Steve pulled out a slightly darker blue shirt that sheened with an iridescent shimmer of lavender to grey as it moved. Turning, Steve laid out the choices on the bed and the actual blues were identical. “And your _Braided Patriot_ set, love. I want everyone to see your choker and know you’re mine.”

TJ smiled and nodded, “may I take a shower first, sir? So I’m all clean for you?”

“Definitely, love, inside and out.” He grinned.

Nodding, TJ walked over to his suitcase and pulled out his toiletries bag before slipping into the attached bathroom.

Steve pulled out his own outfit and his toiletries and headed for the fourth, unclaimed bedroom, grinning at Natasha as he passed. He looked excited, but not nervous in the least.

“Your brother is getting married today,” Natasha said to Bucky after she’d smiled and nodded to Steve as the blond passed by.

“I know,” Bucky ran a hand through his long hair, smiling. He’d run some of his excitement off and now he was calmer. Bucky had literally never gone on a vacation outside of Brooklyn. This was a first for him. “So, let’s get ready, Natasha. I wanna watch Doug give my twin away to my best friend.” He held out his right hand to his wife.

Natasha took Bucky’s hand with a smile.

“Wanna know one of the best parts, love?” Bucky asked. “TJ didn’t bat an eye when Steve said the ceremony’s up at the main lodge.”

“I noticed, he seemed too excited to really comprehend what Steve was saying,” Natasha laughed softly, “you and Doug have helped him quite a bit these last few days.”

“Well, daily visits while we were waiting for Tuesday helped too. He got to visit with May and Peter and Wade. He even met Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy on floor three yesterday.” Bucky stopped by their bed, done in dark silver and black, and began going through his suitcase for his suit.

“Mary Jane is sweet,” Natasha nodded as he pulled out her own black and red dress that she’d wear to the ceremony.

Bucky pulled out his black suit: traditional, he knew, but his best. He headed for the bathroom. “They’ve got a huge shower in here. Wanna share?”

“Well, sharing does conserve water,” Natasha smirked and walked over to Bucky, stripping off her sweater she’d worn for flying as she breezed past him into the large bathroom.

“Yeah, four hours can need some filling,” Bucky added and tugged off his thick over shirt and thin undershirt as one. He tossed them aside as he unfastened his pants while they walked. Bucky shook his head, darted back for their toiletries, then headed into the bathroom, kicking the door shut.

TJ walked out of his own suite’s bathroom, steam from the hot shower escaping into the bedroom. He’d made sure to clean himself very well with his vanilla soap and even used some vanilla scented body oil to help make his skin smooth for Steve. TJ had made a decision, not knowing if Steve would approve or not, and had shaved himself as well, even his legs. TJ hoped that his lover would like it but tried not to dwell on the possibility that he wouldn’t.

Steve was not in the bedroom though his suitcase sat on a luggage holder, open and rummaged through, his toiletries gone. It wasn’t clear what outfit he’d taken, as he’d packed his own bags for their honeymoon.

Before Steve came in, TJ quickly got dressed, not wanting the blond to realize he’d shaved completely until after the wedding. He pulled on the outfit Steve had chosen, the soft fabric felt so good against his smooth skin, and began working on securing the collar, wristlet and watch that Steve had gotten for him. He also put on Bucky’s collar; Steve hadn’t told him to leave it off. TJ didn’t feel right without his twin’s collar. After he was fully dressed, TJ sat on the edge of the bed, petting Luna who still slept soundly.

A shuffling noise alerted him the Phil was running his way, and the puppy left the soft carpet for the hardwood, looking stunned as he slid across the polished surface, toenails clicking and scrabbling. With a surprised yip, Phil slid right into the end of the bed, lifting dazed eyes to the human called _‘daddy.’_

“Awe, poor baby,” TJ cooed gently and knelt down by the stunned puppy to give him some comforting love. “Gotta be careful on the wood, Phil,” TJ said softly, as if Phil was perfectly capable of understanding TJ’s warnings.

Steve finally emerged from the extra room, dressed in a pair of dark blue trousers of similar design to TJ’s along with a button down shirt with a slight collar. His pants were silky and his shirt iridescent, like TJ’s. Smiling, still sporting two weeks growth of beard and hair slicked so it fell over his forehead from a side part, Steve said, “beautiful . . .”

Smiling up at Steve, still petting the puppy, TJ said, “we match!”

“Of course. I chose the outfit based on the color you wanted.” He didn’t say that he also had suspected TJ would choose blue so took a chance with the matching outfits.

TJ stood back up and sauntered over to Steve, wrapping his arms around the blond’s waist; TJ looked up at Steve, eyes sparkling.

Once TJ got close, he could smell that Steve had a scent of strawberries and vanilla on his skin.

“You know, it’s supposed to be bad luck to see the person you’re going to marry before the wedding,” TJ said softly.

“Bride, not supposed to see the bride,” Steve confirmed. “So, which of us is the bride?” He smiled widely, pulling TJ even closer, not minding a couple of creases in the comfortable outfit. Steve had no jewelry or watch on.

TJ smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement, “me, obviously,” the brunet teased, leaning forward to kiss Steve.

“So, I shouldn’t be seeing you?” Steve leaned in and nuzzled, “my favorite flavor . . . _TJ ala vanilla_.”

Laughing, TJ leaned into Steve’s nuzzling. “I love you, sir.”

“I love _you_ , my good boy.” He kissed TJ’s hair. “So, wanna go see what the others are doing?”

“Sure,” TJ nodded with a smile.

Turning his love to the door, Steve glanced down at the whimpering Phil. “Aw . . .” he scooped up the puppy to put up next to the kitten. “There ya go, Phil. Get a nap with your bestie.” He walked TJ from the room to find Anne walking from her shared room, dressing in a light cream colored dress, her hair up in a bun fastened with hair chopsticks. She put on her earrings as she walked and stopped short, eyes widening. Slowly, she smiled. “God, you’re both beautiful, TJ! Doug, come see your big brother!”

The door opened and Doug, who still hadn’t buttoned up his dress shirt, smiled at Steve and TJ. “Looking good, guys,” he nodded and proceeded to start buttoning up his shirt, starting on the wrong button.

Anne chuckled and walked over to unbutton then re-button her husband’s shirt. “Let me, sweetheart,” she said softly.

“Thanks,” Doug laughed and looked over at his brother and soon-to-be brother-in-law, “seriously, though, you guys look great.”

Steve smiled, “he does, doesn’t he.”

TJ flushed and smiled, “thanks . . .”

Steve asked, “who wants to play a game or something while we wait? We got ready so quickly, we’ve got almost three hours to wait.”

“I’m down for a game,” Doug answered with a nod, he looked down at his wife.

“I’d love to play. What game?” She patted Doug’s chest and moved off to the neat stack of modern boardgames. “Have any of you heard of _Catan_?”

Fifteen more minutes passed before Bucky made an appearance, looking very relaxed in his black suit. “Hey, TJ! Steve! Gorgeous!” He nodded as he strolled over, secretly feeling frumpy and poor compared to the four sitting there.

Smiling wide, TJ looked up at his twin and stood up to hug Bucky, “you look great! Suit looks very good on you!” His twin really _did_ look amazing in the suit; it fit his body very well.

Chuckling, Bucky nodded, enjoying the feel of his twin in his arms, but he didn’t begrudge Steve the marriage. “My Sunday best, actually.” He hugged back and moved to one of the suitcases they’d brought with them. Rummaging carefully, Bucky stood and showed the camera he had. “So the missing family don’t go in a huff for missing the wedding.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” TJ nodded, sitting back down to resume playing their game.

Bucky laughed and began filming the board game, moving around and telling them to wave. He then turned when Natasha came out, filming her and whistling low. “Sexy!” he called out.

“You’re filming, aren’t you, James?” Natasha narrowed her eyes slightly at her husband.

Laughing, he nodded. “Yes I am,” he said.

“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be filming the ones getting married,” Natasha said with a playful shove to Bucky’s shoulder, hoping to move the camera off of her.

Laughing, Bucky turned to film his brother once more. “TJ, how do you feel, because you look real pretty?”

Smiling, TJ looked up at Bucky, not the camera, “I feel great, marrying the man I love with my whole heart today.” Though something about the way he said it suggested that he shared his heart.

Bucky nodded. He switched the camera to Steve. “And what about you, punk? How ya feelin’?”

Steve chuckled and looked up, giving his prettiest smile. “Doing just great, jerk. I’m just waiting for the ceremony to end so I can tell everyone that this gorgeous man I love is my _husband_ at last.”

Chuckling, Bucky filmed Doug. “And how’s the brother of one of the grooms? Anxious to give him away, or gonna make Steve sweat it out?”

Laughing, Doug looked over at Steve, “yeah, you never know, might make you two wait after all,” he teased, giving Steve a quick wink.

“You gonna make me go caveman and steal my groom?” Steve laughed.

“Don’t get my hopes up,” TJ muttered quietly with a smirk, not quite loud enough to be caught on camera.

Steve laughed loud, one hand crossing over his opposite breast as he threw his head back.

TJ grinned at his fiancee, happy that he’d made him laugh; he felt more relaxed than he had in weeks.

The group spent the next few hours relaxing, playing games, and generally enjoying themselves. Finally, Steve rose to his feet. Without a watch, he still was able to estimate the time. “Ready, my love?” He held out his hand to TJ.

Smiling wide, TJ took Steve’s hand and nodded as he stood up. “You ready, sir?” TJ asked softly, his lips only a breath away from Steve’s.

“Been ready, my love,” Steve breathed softly. He smiled, stole a brief kiss, then encircled TJ in one strong arm. Guiding his fiancee out the door, Steve didn’t even seem to notice if the others followed, his attention totally on his lover. Outside, a white limousine smoothly pulled up before the cabin and the chauffeur got out, opening the door for the wedding party.

TJ looked up at Steve as he nuzzled close to his side before they slipped inside the limo with the other members of their party.

The ride to the main lodge went quickly and the driver once more opened the door, offering a supporting hand out to whomever required the aid. Other visitors to the ledge stood watching in curiosity to see a limousine spill out a very well dressed party. Steve guided his fiancee through the onlookers, none of which said a word, leading his group to a ballroom decorated for the wedding. A man dressed in basic black stood there, smiling, and walked forward to greet them, introducing himself as the local justice of the peace, the man who would perform the ceremony.

Steve nodded and kept his arm around TJ’s waist, turning another smile on his lover. “We’re ready,” he told the magistrate.

TJ smiled softly and nodded his agreement, staying close to Steve. The walk into the ballroom had made him slightly nervous with all the people looking at them. However, now that they were in the ballroom, shut off from other visitors, he started to relax.

Bucky slid around to capture their faces throughout the ceremony but startled when an unknown woman, dressed for the event, eased the camera from his hands. “Don’t want to be left out,” she explained and Bucky nodded. He joined his brother as she began filming.

The actual ceremony seemed to go by quickly if smoothly, and soon the pair had exchanged their personally written vows. Steve kept his eyes locked on TJ’s the entire time. Finally, he slipped the diamond laced ring on his husband and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love you, Thomas James Rogers,” he breathed.

Smiling into the kiss, TJ nodded, “and I love you, Steven Grant Rogers,” the brunet pulled back enough so he could slip the plainer ring on Steve’s finger, grinning happily as he did so.

Steve smiled wider as the magistrate pronounce them married then presented the couple to their friends. Bucky grabbed TJ into a bear hug, kissing his cheek chastely, then moved to attack Steve just as enthusiastically, including the kiss. Anne gave both men cheek kisses and congratulations. Natasha smiled at the newlyweds and gave them both hugs. Doug hugged TJ, kissing his adoptive brother’s cheek before moving on to Steve and hugging his new brother-in-law.

Pulling back, looking completely serious, Doug said softly, “you take care of him.” Doug still couldn’t quite understand the dynamics of the group, how Steve and Natasha could so willingly share their husbands, but he wasn’t about to cause a fuss over something that seemed to be making TJ happy.

“I will,” Steve promised on a solemn vow. “I love him.”

Nodding, Doug clapped Steve’s shoulder and smiled at the blond, “well then, welcome to the family, Steve!” Though Doug smiled, his tone suggested a mild warning, telling Steve that TJ’s last name might be _Rogers_ now, but TJ would forever be a _Hammond_. And Steve had just willingly thrown himself into the political whirlwind that surrounded the Hammond name.

Steve offered a smile to Doug, accepting the implicit warning. He hugged TJ close again and smiled at the woman filming the wedding. “TJ, want to say something to Nana and your parents?”

TJ smiled up at Steve and then at the camera; he looked radiant, happy. “Hey guys, well . . . I'm married now and I'm happy . . . very happy. I love you all and . . . and yeah, I really _do_ love you guys.” TJ looked back up and smiled at his new husband, nuzzling his neck.

Steve cuddled his new husband and smiled for the camera. “I love TJ, my husband, very much and I’ll take good care of him for the rest of our lives.” He tilted TJ’s face up with a finger and kissed him, long and loving, on the lips. “My good boy,” Steve murmured then looked at the camera. “May I present TJ Rogers, my beautiful husband.”

**************

Back at the cabin, Steve swung TJ up into his arms on the threshold and kissed him deeply. He smiled as he pulled back a little. “Our first night, baby . . .”

Smiling wide, TJ nodded and kissed Steve again, nipping and pulling at his bottom lip playfully, “yes, husband. _My_ husband . . .”

Steve carried TJ to the door, carrying him balanced against his chest, one strong arm under his knees, and worked the door open to the cabin. Kissing TJ again, Steve stepped over the threshold and into the open sitting room, swinging his husband around in a gentle circle. He kissed TJ again, running his tongue over the seam of his lips. “ _My_ love, _my_ TJ.”

Keening against Steve’s lips, TJ nodded, “your’s. I’m your’s,” his voice was breathless and needy as he leaned forward to kiss Steve again.

“And have you been a good little virgin?” Steve teased softly, eyes dancing with excitement. He kissed again.

“Mmm . . . only the best for you, sir, only the best for my Captain,” TJ moaned, his lips moving to suck and nip at Steve’s neck.

“And shall I check to make sure you’ve been a good boy?” he asked playfully, moving his lips to TJ’s collar and gently lifting the braided metal with his teeth, letting the choker drop back down over the still fading bruises.

Breath hitching, TJ nodded, “oh, yes, sir. Wanna prove to you that I’ve been good . . .”

“Well, it’s time for inspection, my pet.” Steve ignored his friends and, now, family coming into the cabin. He carried TJ to their private suite and into the bedroom. Gently, Steve kissed TJ once more, moving to the side of the large bed with the fluffy comforter and the sleeping pets. Avoiding the animals, Natasha's cat included, and the center of the bed, Steve suddenly dropped TJ on the edge of the bed, standing in the way so the smaller man wouldn’t tumble off and get hurt.

Looking up at Steve with lust blown eyes, TJ licked his lips and lifted his hands so they rested on the blond’s hips. TJ nuzzled against Steve’s lower abdomen and pelvis before looking back at Steve from under his lashes. “How do you want me for inspection, sir?” TJ asked on a breathy keen.

“Open and totally visible, my pet.” Steve leaned over and scooped up the two cats without warning, carrying them to the door and thrusting them out. Phil, worried for his playmate, ran after, barking at his human. Once the puppy fell for the ruse and left the room to check on Luna, Steve shut the door. He turned around. “I want to see everything. Make sure you’re clean and ready for me, baby.”

“Oh, yes, sir,” TJ nodded and carefully stood back up so he could slowly, sensually remove the outfit Steve had picked out. He kept his eyes on the blond the entire time until finally he slipped out of his underwear and stood completely naked, aside from the jewelry Steve had gotten him and Bucky’s collar.

Steve’s eyes darkened immediately and he bit his full lower lip, breath hitching. “My God, you’re beautiful!” He walked over and ran his hand down TJ’s abdomen to his totally nude, hairless pelvis and on down his long legs, also hairless. “So sweet for me . . .”

TJ moaned softly, “d - - do you like my surprise for you, sir?”

“It’s beautiful! _You’re_ beautiful. So clean and pink and pretty for me, baby.” He rubbed his hand back up TJ’s leg and thigh and over his completely hairless member with a soft groan. “My little virgin . . .” he moaned.

Smiling, very happy that Steve had liked his decision to shave, TJ’s hands rested on the blond’s broad shoulders, trying to touch and feel as much of his new husband as possible.

“I’ve got a present for you, too, baby,” Steve breathed softly. “Two presents.”

“What are they, sir?” TJ asked.

Nodding, Steve kissed TJ, giving him another stroke then a light squeeze, Steve stepped over to his suitcase and pulled out one box wrapped in soft light purple paper. “This is kind of late, but for any reason, if you need it, I want you to have it.” He put the present directly over TJ’s lap.

Quirking a brow, TJ took the box and began to open it. After unwrapping the present, TJ smiled softly at the box containing a makeup airbrush. He wouldn’t have to brush against sore bruises anymore! “Oh, thank you, sir!” TJ looked up at Steve with a smile.

Steve smiled and nodded then took the present away to put on the dresser. “Like I said, a bit late, but you never know. And once you’re good with it, you can cover any part . . . like with body art. Comes with different brush heads and colors, too.” He leaned over and stroked TJ’s nude member.

Gasping, TJ’s hips lifted off the bed slightly into Steve’s touch, “please . . . sir. I need you . . .”

Steve smiled. “Want your other present?” he asked as if he hadn’t heard TJ’s needy plea.

TJ nodded, trying to keep himself in control just long enough so that Steve could give him whatever else. However, he squirmed and shifted anxiously.

Steve said, “you have to unwrap it, baby.” He straightened and spread his arms away from his sides, smiling softly.

It seemed like the request took a moment to process before TJ was hastily trying to remove Steve’s clothes, planting kisses and little love bites on the skin he uncovered.

“Don’t damage your gift, baby . . .” Steve said softly on a laugh.

Huffing softly, TJ slowed down his movements as he got to Steve’ trousers.

Upon unfastening them and lowering them a bit, Tj saw that Steve was wearing a new pair of lacy panties. They sat high on his hips and low on his pelvis, minuscule around his large bulge, and a deep maroon color that made his eyes _pop_.

Moaning, TJ grinned and looked up at Steve, “so pretty, sir.”

Smiling, Steve hooked his thumbs in his trousers and pulled them down the rest of the way. “You deserve pretty things, my love.”

Keening, TJ leaned forward to mouth over Steve’s lace covered erection, quickly soaking the fabric.

His member jumping at the stimulation from the one man that sexually excited him, Steve tangled his fingers in his husband’s short curls, groaning low and deep. His hips chased the kisses, seeking more of the wonderful stimulation. “My precious love,” he groaned out.

TJ continued to lap at Steve’s member, not removing the maroon panties even though they were beyond soaked. His hands moved in between his husband’s legs and gently cupped and squeezed Steve’s heavy sac through the fabric.

Steve eyes, blown almost completely black, the blue a bare hint of color around his widened pupils, groaned and thrust a time or two, warning in a low rasp, “already close, baby . . .” He’d been half erect the entire short wedding, after all, wearing such fine lace while strangers stood so close on the other side of the door and the unknown man linked him in love to his husband.

“Gonna cum in your pretty panties, sir?” TJ asked innocently, looking up at Steve with a devilish smirk as he squeezed Steve’s balls again.

“Don’t know how . . . to get cum . . . outta lace . . . baby,” Steve groaned, eyes fastening on TJ’s face, watching as his lover fondled his large member. With a soft mewl of pleasure, unlike his normal releases, Steve’s hips bucked and he filled his panties with hot cum, leaking through the stylized holes in the maroon lace.

TJ lapped at the cum that escaped through the small pattern holes; he began to caress the blond’s very sensitive inner thighs through Steve’s orgasm.

Gasping softly again, hips working as his orgasm trailed off, not as much as his normal huge, heavy load, Steve smiled and stroked TJ’s curls, untangling his fingers in order to sooth the soft brunet locks. “My love, so good to me.” He stroked his calloused fingers down TJ’s smooth face. “Ready for inspection . . . or need some time?”

“Oh, no, sir, I’m ready for inspection. Wanna prove to my Captain that I’m a good boy,” TJ smirked, pulling away from Steve’ pelvis.

“So, you’re ready for me?” Steve prompted, tugging down his own panties, revealing his now cum covered crotch. His member already started filling again.

Keening, TJ nodded and looked up at Steve, “how do you want me, sir?”

“I wanna make sure you’re _open_ and healthy, needy and _ready to be filled_. Need some time to prepare, pet?” Steve asked again, smiling and stroking TJ’s hair, tugging the curls around his fingers a bit as he worked.

Smirking again, TJ shook his head and said in a low voice, “I’m already ready, Captain. Didn’t want to keep my sir waiting.”

Giving TJ’s curls a sharp tug, but nothing that would rip his hair out, Steve growled, “I’m gonna shove right into you just like this for your inspection. You really ready?” Steve had a feeling TJ already knew what he meant so would have prepared. Thrilled at the enticing idea of just tossing TJ down and thrusting in, pinning him to the bed, Steve’s member ached and throbbed, filled once more.

“Oh, yes, sir. I’m ready to be filled by my Captain,” TJ groaned at the sharp tug, his own erection leaking precum and his cheeks flushing with arousal, “I wanted my new husband to be able to fuck me whenever, wherever he wanted.”

“Well, if it wasn’t for our lovely family . . . my brothers and sisters-in-law . . . out there, I’d drive it in deep in front of the fireplace. So, what'll we do, pet? Shall I growl at them?” Steve grinned slowly and ran a had over TJ’s crotch then slipped back over his taint, past his sac, and touched his hole. He felt the ring on the plug and wriggled it a bit.

TJ’s breath hitched and he let out a loud moan, “whatever you want, sir.”

Letting go of TJ completely, but pausing to make sure TJ didn’t tumble off the bed, Steve nodded and turned. He got to his door and cracked it enough to scream. “We claim fireplace in five minutes!” Letting the door shut once more, Steve turned to let his eyes rove over the sight of needy TJ, beautiful, panting, and oh so ready. He gripped his own member and cooed, “inspection in five, pet. Means you got five to get one toy you want me to use.”

TJ blinked; he hadn’t even thought of the toys that they’d brought with them. He let out a breathless moan and scurried over to the entire suitcase filled with their toys . . . some of which hadn’t been used yet. The brunet sifted through the contents, trying to decide what he wanted Steve to use on him. At close to the five minute mark, TJ finally decided and pulled out the scarves that Steve had picked out at the store. They hadn’t done any bindings yet; Steve wanted to make sure he knew how to do them safely before trying, and TJ was anxious to have Steve tie him up.

A serious look came over Steve’s face, chasing the smile away. He studied the selection that TJ had made. Finally, he walked over and gently took the colorful rainbow from his husband. “Open the door and walk to the fireplace. If it is lit, stay safely clear. If not, I want you as close as you can get. I’ll be in as soon as I make sure the fur babies are occupied so we don’t get a nose where I don’t want it.” He gave no indication that he approved or disapproved of the selection of the still untried bondage supplies.

Hurrying to follow the order, TJ rushed out of the room and was happy that his family had decided to listen to Steve’s warning and weren’t still in the living room, despite the thrilling idea of Bucky watching. The large, stone fireplace wasn’t lit so TJ knelt down in front of it, on the plush rug, so that his knees actually pressed against the cool edge of the stone.

Steve strode out, fully nude and proud and clean once more, his erection hitting his abdomen as he walked. He had the fistful of rainbow scarfs, several lengths of soft, furred velvet cord TJ had never seen, a couple of unidentifiable objects, and two bottles of ointment or lube. Walking over, Steve put them on one of the side tables. “Good boy, I’ll be back. Don’t move. If you need to relieve yourself, call out _‘Sir, I have to soil myself!’_ and I’ll come back.” He turned, without waiting, and strode to the kitchen.

TJ’s hands rested on the top of his thighs, and luckily, he didn’t have to use the restroom or anything like that. However, his increased arousal and excitement over what Steve was planning made it really hard to stay still. He was constantly squirming and shifting on his knees.

Steve walked in with a tray, several glasses of iced water and a large bowl of mixed berries and fruit slices in his hands. He placed that on the same end table then picked up the scarves, wrapping them around one bicep and tucking them so they stayed on but could be tugged off easily. Striding over, member right at TJ’s eye level, Steve put his fists on his hips and studied his boy. “So, the little virgin wants his cherry popped?” Steve growled.

Blinking, TJ nodded with a soft keen, “yes, sir . . . oh, please . . .”

Steve reached over and touched the fancy choker. “Rich little virgin, ain’t ya? Think that makes you better’n a working officer like myself? Well, we’ll whip you into shape! You gotta earn a fucking, virgin!” Steve touched the collar again, finger sliding over the twin collar as well. “Take those off, and clear your wrists, but you leave that pledge ring on or you get kicked outta the club.” Steve was taking a chance going full blown fantasy scene, but he hoped TJ would like it.

Moaning, TJ clumsily reached back and unclasped the expensive choker and then took off the watch and wristlet. The brunet hesitated slightly before also removing Bucky’s collar; TJ hoped Steve wasn’t suddenly jealous of his and Bucky’s relationship. Carefully, TJ put the items on the hearth before looking up at Steve with wide, blown eyes. Obviously, TJ was enjoying this scene very much.

Nodding, Steve bent over, letting TJ get a look at his ass and crotch, and scooped up the jewelry. He turned and carefully set them on the fireplace mantel then tossed his hand towards the fireplace as if throwing the fancy jewelry away. “Now watch your rich trinkets burn.” He slid one of the scarves, a deep scarlet, from his arm. “Wearing a rich man’s jewels when you’re just a little pledge? Teach you to get above your station!” Steve turned and walked over with the scarf and fastened it in the familiar slip knot style around TJ’s neck. He pulled, releasing the scarf, then tied it again. “Now, how’s _that_ jewelry, virgin? A heavy iron collar with a chain.” Since Steve didn’t dare use some of the things he suggested, they had to rely on imagination for the more dangerous ideas.

“Oh . . . thank you, sir,” TJ moaned out, touching the scarf around his neck.

“You _will_ be thanking me when you’ve earned your fucking.” Steve took two more scarves, one bright teal, the other a deep sunny yellow, and tied one to each of TJ’s wrists. He looped the yellow into one of the hooks that held the fireplace screen which wasn’t there since the thing was cold and clean. He looped the teal to the other fastener hook. Both knots were not slip knots, but with the hooks rather than rings or bars, TJ could release his arms if he wanted to. For the moment, they were pulled up and out to his sides. “You still want that cherry popped, virgin?”

“Mmm . . . yes, sir,” TJ nodding, slipping deeper into the submissive behavior as Steve tied him up. He hadn’t been lying when he said he enjoyed being bound as long as the person binding him knew how to tie the knots. He gave the scarves an experimental tug, purposely pulling on them wrong so the knot wouldn’t come loose.

Nodding, Steve grinned, a lascivious grin of lust and anticipation, though his eyes remained soft and loving. He didn't want TJ having a flashback to other people who were not so caring. “Well, you came to the right club. This is _my_ dungeon and others _might come in_ at any time. You are not to even look at them, no speaking to them, don’t even think about it.” He pulled out a baby blue scarf and tied it over TJ’s eyes, lightly so TJ could keep his eyes open and see around the edges and a bit through the light material. “And now, without your sight, you won't even know what’s coming. It’s better than way,” he growled. Eventually, he would fully gag and blindfold his husband, but Steve was nervous with bondage so he went for _light_ bondage at the moment.

TJ panted, his mouth open slightly as he tugged at the scarves again, adding to the illusion that he was being bound with something heavier and less likely to pull loose. TJ couldn’t make out Steve fully, just a faint outline that he was able to track through the soft silk.

“Okay, virgin. I want you to tell me what you’re feeling. But you’re not permitted a lot of words. So, before you break the rules . . . and before I start your whipping . . . let me tell you what you can say. You say Green if you accept the punishment as just. Yellow if you aren’t sure. Red if you think you don’t deserve it. Call me sir. Got it?” Steve hoped his altering of the code to mean something very similar but which worked for the fantasy would be okay with TJ.

“Yes, sir,” TJ breathed, head turned towards the general direction of his husband’s voice.

“What you looking at?” Steve barked. He tugged the neck scarf sharply, once. “You don’t look at anyone! You don’t follow rules very well. Say, _‘No, sir!’_ or _‘Yes, sir!’_ , virgin.”

“No, sir,” TJ moaned and purposely added, to see how far he could push this, “I don’t follow rules very well . . .”

Nodding, Steve picked up one of the furry soft velvet cords. It would leave no damage, probably wouldn’t even sting, but he hadn’t thought to bring the paddle so had to improvise. Privately, he cursed forgetting that toy that TJ had picked out and they hadn’t even tried yet. “Now, I’ve got here a very sharp bull whip. I’m going to give you a whipping for every violation. You better not move or even consider crying out unless you are telling me about your punishment!” Steve walked over and made a soft humming noise as he flexed within the limit of TJ’s softened vision.

TJ found it hard not to move: his body seemed to want to be doing nothing but. From the kneeling position, his knees were already beginning to feel his weight and his arms were beginning to burn slightly from being pulled up.

“Okay, check in. What do you think of your punishment?” Steve asked, ready to start whipping.

“Green, sir,” TJ breathed.

“Damn right it’s deserved,” Steve barked. He lifted the cord and slapped it across TJ’s back, the plush fur caressing over his flesh. Steve counted, “one!” He continued to whip and count, deliberately landing across buttocks, back, thighs, and even once _slipping_ and getting TJ across the crotch. At fifteen, Steve stopped, panting as if he’d been working hard, but his voice sounded calm and strong as he barked out, “check in on the punishment?”

TJ trembled, even if the cord hadn’t done any damage - - TJ would be shocked if it’d left any marks whatsoever, his over sensitive skin thrummed under the contact. Sweat misted his skin, shimmering in the orange glow of the lamps lighting the room. “Green, sir.”

Nodding, Steve walked over to the water glasses. He took one and carried it to TJ. “Open your mouth!”

TJ obeyed, opening his mouth.

“Now, take your medicine, and don’t you dare spit it out or vomit on me!” Steve eased an ice piece into TJ’s mouth. “Suck that, virgin, while I check your little hole.” Steve used the cold hand to stroke over TJ’s flank and hip, warming his fingers before spreading his husband’s cheeks to check which plug was in, knowing by then which color was which size.

As Steve’s icy fingers brushed against his opening, TJ’s hips canted and his arms pulled at the scarves again. “Oh . . . sir . . .”

“Did you spit out that medicine!” Steve turned and barked at TJ, looking him over to make sure his breathing and energy levels looked okay.

“No . . . sir,” TJ answered and Steve could hear the soft clanking noises the ice cube made against TJ’s teeth.

“Good. You might be learning. Seems the whipping might have loosened you up. Your little hole is starting to open for me.” He reached down and wriggled the plug by the ring to keep TJ aware that he would eventually be fucked by his loving husband. “You finish with that medicine so I can give you your other meds. Need you pliant and receptive. It only gets painful from here.”

“Yes, sir,” TJ answered with a nod, pushing back against Steve’s touch.

“Did I tell you to move? Not acceptable!” He pushed on the ring a bit then removed his hand. Steve slapped TJ’s ass cheeks, once each, sharply, letting the redness swell and flush the pale globes. The hits caused his butt flesh to wiggle, making the ring shift, too.

TJ groaned loudly, his head falling back as his fingers flexed and tried to grip the silky scarves.

“Did I say make noise?” Steve slapped again, once each, then rubbed the reddened flesh. “Punishment check.”

“Green . . . sir,” TJ moaned, chest heaving and limbs beginning to quiver.

The sound of a door opening came to TJ followed by a sudden retreat and the door shutting. He had no idea which of the four had come in.

Steve reached over to his pile and took one of the objects TJ hadn’t recognized immediately. He made quick jerking motions with one hand and a soft swishing noise came. The tall blond put the object to his mouth and the sound of two deep breaths, accompanied by two sharp hisses came. Steve put the object back and knelt behind TJ. “I am gonna release the chains from the wall, but I’m chaining you to the floor. Be glad I’m leaving the bedding down for you.” There was a soft scent from Steve’s mouth, something TJ had smelled before but wasn’t very familiar with.

Steve reached up and slipped the scarves from the hooks and tugged his husband down to the carpet. He eased his legs out straight and quickly tied two more scarves to his ankles. He massaged TJ’s arms before laying them down across the carpet. “There. Don’t even bother fighting. You’re chained down.” Leaning over, close to TJ’s ear, Steve whispered, “punishment check in.”

“Green, sir,” TJ nodded, the sweat from his hairline and temples made the scarf around his eyes stick to his skin.

Turning TJ’s head carefully, Steve dribbled cold liquid over his lips and into his mouth. “Close your mouth when you’re done drinking the aphrodisiac, virgin.”

After a moment, TJ closed his mouth and nodded.

Steve pulled back though a little bit of the ice water had poured down TJ’s mouth and cheek to the carpet. He put the glass back down, out of the way, and pulled over several pillows. “Now for your anal exam. Gonna put these blocks under your hips.” He lifted TJ’s hips and slid the couch pillows under him to brace him and heft him higher, presenting him. Being an artist, apparently Steve had a very active and quick imagination. He gave TJ’s buttocks two more smacks, watching the globes wriggle from the force.

TJ gasped and mewled softly, hips involuntarily grinding down against the pillows.

“Oh, the little virgin’s rutting. Stop moving, virgin. Gonna inspect you now, see if you cleaned yourself properly . . . if you’re really a virgin or lying to get in the club.” Steve spread TJ’s reddened cheeks with his colder hand, after dipping his fingers in the water again. He reached down, curved his finger in the anal plug ring and wiggled it, as if having trouble getting it out. “A bit tight in here . . .”

Whimpering, a desperate, needy noise, TJ tried to roll his hips against Steve’s fingers and the wiggling plug.

“Damn,” Steve cursed. “Made me forget the cock ring when you pranced your tight ass through my dungeon! Gonna cost you, virgin.” Steve smacked twice more then drew the plug out in one smooth pull, deliberately angling it to brush TJ’s prostate. He grabbed the lube and poured some on his own member while listening to his husband’s responses.

As the plug brushed against his prostate, TJ moaned again and he ground against the pillows, seeking friction on his needy, aching member. “Please, sir . . .”

Steve gave two sharp blows to his buttocks again. “Still! Check in on the punishment? Is it fair? Not? Don’t know?”

“Green, sir,” TJ groaned, his voice low with lust and desire.

“Then keep your sexy, needy little ass still while I check you out or I put it on ice!” Steve lined up and slid his member in deep, in one smooth long stroke over TJ’s prostate.

TJ let out a sobbing cry, the pleasure of Steve’s member finally filling him and brushing against his prostate made him see white for a moment.

Holding still, his pelvis pushed against TJ’s flushed, reddened cheeks, Steve didn’t want to over stimulate his husband too quickly. He would wait for TJ’s next cue. Instead, he concentrated on breathing softly, gently, and feeling the wonderful contractions and flutterings around his erection.

After a few moments of Steve staying still, TJ let out a small, needy growl and pushed back against Steve, willing him to start moving.

“Okay, you moved for the last time, virgin! I’m gonna drive you so hard, you’ll think you never had a cherry to pop!” Steve gave TJ a chance to back out, since his ass was spanked rather well.

TJ mewled and rolled his hips back again, needing more.

Nodding, taking the cue to heart, Steve gripped TJ’s hips in secure hands and began to drive hard and fast and deep. He worked TJ hard into the fluffy carpet, knowing he’d need to treat carpet burns when this was done. “You deserve to be punished, virgin?” he grunted with each bottom out.

“Yes, sir! Oh - - fuck me . . . sir . . . fuck me hard,” TJ cried out between thrusts, his body jolting with each pounding of Steve’s hips. TJ could feel his knees and arms rubbing against the carpet but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You are such a needy little flirt!” Steve deliberately stayed away from foul, derogatory terms. “Flicking your hips when you strutted in here, flirting and showing your ass. You came in wanting to be popped! Well, take it hard, virgin!” He continued the hard, almost punishing pace, forcing himself into his husband as far as the position would allow. “I’m gonna stop the punishment only when you cum like the little flirt you are! You’re gonna cum hard screaming for your captain!” Steve growled.

TJ groaned with each thrust, easily meeting Steve’s rhythm to push his husband deeper inside him. The relentless pounding stole TJ’s words from him, his voice coming out in gasping, lustful keens.

“Punishment check,” Steve grunted as he continued to work hard, glad he’d taken his inhaler treatment; this was more work than he normally did, even with TJ in the bedroom.

“G - - green . . . sir,” TJ gasped out, his member leaking a steady stream of precum, signaling he was getting close to release.

Steve pulled out almost all the way and smacked a hand across TJ’s buttock then thrust in hard. “You gonna cum, flirt?” He tugged very lightly on the scarf collar. “Cum like the flirty needy virgin you are! Beg me and thank me for filling your hot little ass full!”

“Thank . . . you, sir!” TJ cried out, “please . . . please, sir . . . can I cum . . . please?”

“You better cum, virgin! Show everyone watching just how needy you are! Little flirt!” Steve smacked again on the other side and thrust in hard.

With a loud sob, TJ’s back bowed, looking near painful, and he painted the carpet and pillows in thick stripes of cum. “Oh, sir! Captain!” TJ’s voice was hoarse, thick with his orgasm as his hips stuttered and his walls clenched around Steve’s member.

Steve came hard before TJ had finished, filling his husband with a hard jet of seed, though nothing like his normal hard, long flow, just like earlier that afternoon. He groaned and buried his face between TJ’s shoulder blades, dropping his hands from his husband’s hips to support his weight. Slowly, very slowly, he slid out of his husband and sat back on his feet. “Check in, baby,” he said, signaling the immediate end of their scene. Future scenes would be longer, but right now, Steve _needed_ to check his love.

“G - - green . . .” TJ panted, his body completely limp and _fucked out_.

Nodding, Steve reached over and rolled TJ onto his back, onto a dry still fluffy section of carpet. Lowering him carefully onto his abused ass, Steve reached over for the other bottle he’d brought in. He opened it and poured a generous amount on his hands then carefully tended the carpet burns with the medicated, soothing, cooling oil. “I love you, baby,” Steve said and pulled the slip knot on the neck scarf to release TJ so he wouldn’t accidentally choke himself.

“Love . . . you . . . too,” TJ smiled, cheeks flushed with release.

Steve curled round TJ, ignoring the fact that they still hogged the living room. His clever friends would soon discover, if they hadn’t already, that each bedroom had a private entrance. They didn’t need to hit the main rooms except for food. He began softly kissing TJ’s neck, turning him slightly so he rested on his side, neither ass nor carpet burns touching the rug.

TJ smiled tiredly, looking over his shoulder at his husband. “You're my husband, sir. All mine.”


	16. Post-Marital Games

Almost an hour passed in which Steve held his sleeping husband. Finally, he stood, lifting TJ in his strong arms, and carried him to the bedroom to settle on their soft comforter. He kissed his husband lightly on the lips then pulled on his robe and went to clean up the mess and toys. He finished as Bucky peeked out then exited his room.

“Good, hungry,” he growled and headed for the kitchen, leaving his own door open.

Steve let the pets out with a chuckle, and Phil whimpered around Luna in his mouth. The puppy ducked away from Steve’s grip, though, and carried his best friend in the bedroom to TJ, whimpering at the base of the bed. Steve followed, shaking his head with a soft smile. “Phil,” he whispered, “let him sleep! And you’re getting her soaked!” He bent to try to wrestle the kitten from the puppy.

TJ’s eyes blinked open, looking momentarily confused as if he didn't know where he was, before smiling tiredly at Steve. “Hey, Steve,” TJ’s voice was slightly slurred with exhaustion and the brunet nuzzled the soft pillow below him, peeking out with one eye at his husband.

Smiling, Steve put Luna down and slid onto the bed. He kissed TJ’s lips gently. “I told them to let you sleep, baby. How’s my good boy on his wedding night?”

Humming softly, TJ smiled, “I'm good, sir . . . how’re you?”

“I’m flying. My body’s humming.” He grinned. Steve knew he hadn’t gone through what TJ had, but he felt like he had. He loved making TJ feel that way, bringing him to the edge and then easing him back.

Nodding, burying his face into the pillow so his voice was muffled when he spoke, TJ agreed, “feel like I'm floating, sir.”

“Want to rest more or ready to talk about our scene, love?” Steve always wanted to talk after so he could figure out what they liked or didn’t, what went too far or not far enough. He used these discussions to give TJ a voice, as well as himself, and even to tell his husband just what Steve himself might want to try, too.

Humming again, TJ looked up at Steve and nodded, “we can talk.” The brunet pushed up so that he sat up, letting the comforter pool around his narrow waist.

Steve wrapped his arms around TJ. He kissed his husband’s neck, clear of any form of collar. “First, let me say, I’m sorry I forgot to bring the paddle and some of the other stuff we needed, baby.” He smiled at TJ. “Thanks for being such a good sub and going along with my suggestions.”

Grinning, TJ nuzzled Steve's neck, pressing against his husband's firm chest. “It was fun. Got to _feel_ it without the pain your suggestions would've caused,” TJ said softly.

“I know you like pain, but I’m still new, you know?” Steve didn’t mind admitting his own fear of hurting TJ. “So, the position was . . .” he prompted.

“You mean the first one? Or the second one?” TJ asked, needing the clarification.

Nodding, Steve said, “kneeling with arms tied up? I know from reading that it can get painful if left too long . . .”

“Well, after a bit it was starting to burn, so I wouldn't be able to do it for very long. I was only starting to get uncomfortable,” TJ explained, kissing just below Steve's jaw line.

Looking delighted, Steve said, “so I _did_ read that correctly. I hoped I had.” He stroked down TJ’s spine. “Okay, the second one. I know you got burned. We’ll have to deal with that . . .”

Humming in contentment, TJ grinned, “I _loved_ the second one, sir. I mean, I don't know if there is a way to avoid the burns the next time but,” TJ kissed again, “but I really enjoyed it.”

Laughing softly, Steve said “knee pads and gloves, maybe? Soft leather, padded . . . like a wrestler might wear?” He stroked his lover’s back then down to his hips, along the jutting bone. “So pretty, my good boy.”

Preening, TJ mewled softly and nuzzled under Steve's chin, kissing the skin he could reach. “And you . . . you really did like my surprise, sir? Weren't just saying it?” TJ looked up to study Steve's face.

Looking thoughtful, seriously considering the question and the implications, Steve nodded and kissed his temple. “I loved it. Maybe not for everyday unless you prefer doing the work of making yourself as nude as a teenager, but I loved it.” He smiled at TJ. “I think it best for this particular thing if you decide when you want to shave, rather than letting me . . . at least your body. I insist you keep your face clean shaven and your hair stays short. I don’t wanna think you’re Bucky. I couldn't get it up for him after having my delicate, beautiful TJ.” He waited to see if TJ would accept that type of control in his life; yes, he accepted clothes choices but this was going a bit further.

TJ grinned and nodded, pale eyes sparkling at the order, “of course, sir. We wouldn’t want that.”

Steve smiled happily and kissed TJ, pleased he understood the reasoning. With a set of twins, any differences between the two were valuable to maintain. Steve was in love with TJ, not Bucky, wanted to fuck TJ, not Bucky. “Well, Bucky had his chance and blew it. I’m all yours, baby.”

“And of that I am very glad,” TJ breathed, kissing Steve’s lips. “If you and Bucky were a couple, I’d have to go evil twin and seduce you away from him.”

“A threesome? My naughty boy,” Steve chuckled, despite the fact that Bucky and Natasha did join into their play. Steve even toyed with the idea of fucking Bucky, but TJ came first for him.

TJ hummed, the idea of a threesome with his husband and twin causing a jolt to run down his spine . . . however, the pleasurable jolt faded into an apprehensive shiver as Brock’s hateful words echoed in his mind. Taunting him . . . he was such a _slut_ for wanting to be fucked by both his husband and brother.

Leaning into TJ, Steve whispered in his husband’s neck, “I love when you are filled completely and whimpering your desire. Makes me feel like I’m taking good care of my precious pet.”

Smiling softly, TJ leaned into Steve, nimble fingers running down the blond’s sides.

The smell of food cooking wafted into the room and Steve’s stomach rumbled very loudly. He chuckled. “We should invade Bucky’s dinner, baby,” he suggested.

Humming, TJ smirked and leaned forward to kiss and nip at Steve’s neck, “I’ve got something else I wanna eat, sir.”

“Captain needs meat . . . and I’m talking a bit more well done than your’s, love.” Steve kissed his lover then pulled back. “Let’s get nourishment.”

TJ huffed overdramatically; he slipped his fingers over Steve’s crotch as he scooted towards the edge of the bed and stood up.

A soft, plaintive mew came up from the floor. The pets had been basically neglected all day. A muffled yip sounded just after Luna spoke up. Steve chuckled and stood, scooping up the pair and putting them on the bed. “I think maybe we should’ve gotten fur baby sitters for our honeymoon.”

“Probably,” TJ agreed as he walked over to his suitcase to pick out something to wear.

“Wear your rose, TJ. You look real soft and sweet in that.” Steve offered a grin and moved to pull out a pair of soft dark brown slacks and a tight tan t-shirt. He pulled on some white briefs then the rest of the clothes. Steve gathered their wedding clothes, including underwear, and took them to the supplied hamper, wondering if the laundry service really could handle the different materials.

TJ pulled on his rose colored silk trousers; he pulled them up over his legs and keened softly as the soft material slipped over his slightly bruised ass. He could already feel the beginning of the arousal that Steve always seemed to stir in him.

Steve grinned, walked over, leaned in to kiss TJ, and ran a hand lightly over his clothed ass. “Ready to go out there, pet?” He scooped up the pair of animals, after freeing the damp kitten from her beloved friend’s mouth, and walked out. “Hey, Bucky . . . Nat . . . how was the lake?”

“Cold,” Natasha grumbled, shooting a playful glare at her husband.

He chuckled, “it is early October, love.” Bucky checked on the baked ravioli dinner he was helping Natasha cook.

“Oh yeah? I guess you forgot that when you decided to throw me in,” Natasha glared harder.

“Nope,” he quipped back. “How could I? I was already soaked from my cannon ball.”

Natasha looked to Steve and TJ with a serious face, although her emerald eyes sparkled, “this is what you have to look forward to. They don’t stay gentlemen forever.”

“Are you saying I will someday, possibly sooner than later, relish dumping my husband into a freezing Coloradan lake?” Steve chuckled, putting the pets on the floor and retrieving a couple of toys to play with them. He had no problem allowing someone else to cook, everyone knew Steve’s lacks in the kitchen.

TJ quirked a brow at Steve, “oh, no you won’t. Now I’ll never walk with you to the lake! I’m not about to get dumped in that freezing water.”

Steve suddenly whirled around and scooped up TJ, grinning wickedly and heading for the patio door. “Oh? You don’t like lakes?” he teased.

“Steve!” TJ shouted, giggling, “let me go!”

“Go? Did you say you wanna go?” Steve walked out the door with his husband. “Okay . . . let’s go . . .”

“Don’t! Steve, I mean it! Don’t you dare!” TJ struggled playfully, still laughing. He didn’t think Steve would _actually_ dump him into the freezing water.

Steve strode down to the lakeside, a beautiful mountain lake with a dock, slide, and other water fun activities. “Oh, look! Fish!” He leaned over the water, his arms tightening slightly to support TJ’s weight.

Pushing back, starting to doubt his original assumption that Steve wouldn’t push him into the water, TJ shouted, though his voice was still light, “Steve!”

Anne, sitting on the patio with her husband, flushed brighter at watching the pair. She had been the one who’d walked in on them in the living room and it had thrilled her, in a naughty way. Now, she felt like a voyeur who shouldn’t even witness this play. “Doug?” She asked quietly, “should we, uh . . . do something?”

Looking over, smirking, Doug shook his head, “nah. They’re fine. A little cold water never hurt anyone.”

Steve took one last step to the lakeside and leaned a bit more. “Looks refreshing . . .”

“No! Steve, stop! I mean it!” TJ held on tight; if Steve was going to throw him in that water, he was going to make damn sure he took Steve with him.

“Really? What a lovely shade you are, babydoll. Is that a hint of blush? Maybe some crimson? Or scarlet?” He tested to see if TJ really was as serious as his words claimed, though he had no intention on throwing his lover into the water at that moment.

TJ held Steve close, head turning to look at the water and then back at Steve. Steve beamed at him, a totally innocent sinful angel. Eyes narrowing slightly, TJ’s lips curled into a smirk and he leaned forward until he was only a breath away, “you wouldn’t throw your good boy into the lake, would you, sir? You wouldn’t dare do something like that, Captain.”

“Now that sounds like a direct challenge to my authority,” Steve growled, playful.

“Me? I would _never_ , sir,” TJ grinned back, pale eyes dancing. “Remember, sir? I’m your good boy. I would _never_ challenge my Captain’s authority.” His tone was dripping with playful sarcasm.

“Oh? This is the last chance to check in about your disobedience . . . you’re begging for punishment.” Steve continued to smile, adjusting his hands slightly so TJ began to slip before he caught him again.

Gasping, TJ grabbed Steve tighter and looked up at his husband with wide eyes, “sir? Sir, you wouldn’t . . .”

“I wouldn’t? When you’ve been so disobedient and defiant?” Steve suddenly launched TJ into the air in an arc for the water, twisting away at the same time in a military-trained evasion.

TJ yelped as he hit the icy water.

Steve jumped in as TJ hit the water and immediately dove under to retrieve the other man before the icy shock stopped him from saving himself. Grabbing his husband. Steve scooped him up once more and grinned. “Now what do you say?” The cold water didn’t seem to phase him in the least.

“Holy shit . . . this is fucking cold!” TJ exclaimed, pushing his dripping hair out of his face. He clutched at Steve, pulling himself closer to the blond’s chest.

Steve walked from the lake as Anne stood there on the patio, mouth dropped open in shock. Steve grinned. “So, you were planning on pulling me in . . . naughty boy.” He’d read TJ’s sudden moved when he’d faked a small slip so got even for the plotting his lover had done. “I’d say you need to think about that, pet.” Steve carried TJ up the hill and towards their private room entrance.

“Y - - yes, sir,” TJ nodded, his teeth clattering.

Once in the room, Steve immediately took them to the big shower and began warming them up instantly before even stripping them. “So, baby, do you doubt I’ll ever do something you want?” He nuzzled TJ’s neck.

Sighing at the warm water, TJ looked up at Steve and shook his head, “no, sir. I know you take good care of me.”

“And do you ever doubt I’ll take care of you after your punishments? That Captain knows exactly what his pet needs?” Steve nibbled at TJ’s neck then froze, as if finding something totally amiss. He frowned softly and whispered, “you’re nude.”

“Yes, sir? You took off my clothes,” TJ answered, looking at Steve.

“I took off your _clothes_ ,” Steve agreed, still frowning softly.

Shifting slightly, TJ looked down at himself and then back up at Steve. “Yes?”

Steve stepped from the shower, wrapping a towel around himself, and headed into the other room real quick. He came back and got back in the shower, one hand fisted. “You are most definitely naked, TJ,” his soft voice growled out.

“Uh . . . that’s what happens when you take a shower, sir?” TJ looked confused.

Shaking his head, Steve barked out, very softly, “lesson two.”

Eyes widening, TJ touched his neck and he finally understood what Steve had been talking about. “Oh . . . I’m sorry, sir. I - - I never put on a collar after our playtime . . .” he sounded genuinely apologetic.

“No wonder you’ve been so disobedient. You forgot.” Steve nodded. “But Steve knows how to fix that misbehavior.” He lifted his fist and opened it, an aquamarine collar dangling from his fingers. The material looked like bathing suit material. “You’ll want a collar?” Steve asked.

Blinking, eyeing the collar with wide eyes, TJ nodded, “oh, yes, sir.”

Steve reached over and used part of his towel to dry TJ’s neck. He then put the collar around his lover’s throat, a soft, pliant material that seemed to hug but not squeeze. Steve leaned in. “It’s water proof,” he breathed.

“I won’t ruin this one in the bath, sir!” TJ exclaimed happily, smiling brightly as he lifted his hand so his fingers brushed against the material.

“No, you won’t. So, now you can switch to your water collar and never have to be without again. Do you like your present?” Steve seemed to vibrate with happiness.

“Yes, sir! I love it! Thank you!” TJ hugged Steve tightly, “you take such good care of me, sir.”

Steve answered with a deep kiss. “Thank you for letting me take care of you, baby.” He turned off the water and began drying his husband. They had dinner to attend before Bucky wrote them off; Steve was very hungry.

They both got redressed quickly; Steve in soft jeans and a dark purple button down and TJ in a pair of loose jeans and a black t-shirt. They walked back into the kitchen.

Bucky looked up and cocked an eyebrow before chuckling. “Wait a minute. They left to the lake dressed in pink and brown, and they come back _out of the room_ , dressed in black and purple? Nat, I think they like the lake, too.” Bucky served the food, nodding at Anne and Doug as they entered the cabin. "TJ? Is that a new collar?” The bright color was eye catching.

“Yeah!” TJ beamed, extending his neck so everyone could get a good look at it, “it’s waterproof! I won’t ruin it!”

Steve looked proud of TJ’s happiness. He flushed lightly. “I can get other colors, too, if I order them. But, if there’s no water play or whatever, the other collars can work, too.”

Anne absently touched her necklace, looking at the very happy TJ. “I . . . I never thought of a collar as an everyday fashion accessory?”

TJ looked at Anne, still beaming brightly, an almost innocent joy on his features, “oh, yes! Steve won’t let me wear my at-home collars out but lots of people wear actual collars outside.”

“At-home collar?” Anne blinked, surprised and curious. “You have that beautiful choker, but I thought it was . . . for fancy dress? I guess I didn’t realize you wear them as regular jewelry?”

“Nope,” TJ grinned, rushing over to grab Anne’s hand, “c’mon, I’ll show you.” He didn’t even wait for her to agree or disagree before pulling her away into their bedroom. His sister-in-law accompanied him, intent on studying the collars and asking questions.

Steve collected the jewelry from the mantle and carried it in, handing those off to TJ with a smile. He then left, allowing brother and sister-in-law to chat.

TJ carefully put the expensive set his husband had gotten for him away and then slipped on Bucky’s collar; he never did feel right without it. TJ sat Anne on the edge of the bed offering her another smile. He walked over to another duffel bag that held his various assortment of collars. Walking over to Anne with the bag in hand, he opened it and pulled out some of the different colors Steve had ordered him for his at-home collars. “These are some of my at-home collars. Sir wants me to be able to match with my outfits,” the brunet explained, grinning brightly.

“TJ? Are these your version of jewelry? They aren’t for . . . well . . . leashes or anything dangerous? He’s not . . . tying you up and leaving you?” She sounded worried suddenly.

“Oh, no,” TJ shook his head, “Steve only gives me what I want, Anne. I mean,” TJ pointed to the metal ring on one of the collars, “see that? Technically you can attach a leash to it but we haven’t tried that yet.”

“Yet?” Anne bit her lip. She took TJ’s hands and made him look at her. “We’ve been friends for a long time, TJ, right? You can tell me if he’s . . . well, you don’t have to do stuff just to hold on to him, TJ. You’re worth more than that!”

Tilting his head, TJ repeated, “Steve only does things _I want_ , Anne. He would never do anything I’m uncomfortable with. We have safewords.”

Flushing brightly, dropping her voice, she asked, “like tying you to the fireplace, TJ?”

“That was _you_?” TJ gaped.

She nodded, blushing. “I thought I’d waited long enough. I’m so sorry! But . . . I should have stopped it . . . helped you . . .”

“Why? He wasn’t hurting me or anything . . . well, not in a way I didn’t want. That was a _scene_ , Anne. A . . . fantasy? We were . . . acting?” TJ tried to explain to his sister-in-law the best way he could.

“TJ? When did you decide you like fantasizing about men tying you and beating you?” Anne looked so worried. “Was that Sean? Liam? Who did that to you?”

Blinking, smile fading away, TJ pulled away and hugged himself, “Anne . . . don’t do this? Not tonight, please?” It was already too late, flashes of some bad experiences with old lovers ran through his mind.

Drawing a deep breath, Anne let it out slowly. She nodded. “Okay. I definitely don’t understand. I just want to make sure this is what you want, okay? That you really _are_ happy?”

“It is,” TJ sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “despite what everyone thinks . . . I am capable of fighting back and saying no. I tried to fight Brock off - -”

She clapped a hand over his mouth and shook her head. “I’m not talking about that, TJ. I’m trying to understand how people think this fantasy feels good. As a normal sexual high. Not something you _didn’t want_.” She lifted his hand. “I never intended to bring that stuff up on your honeymoon.”

TJ sighed, swallowing thickly.

“My grandmother, when I got engaged, told me that I should lay there and just let Doug have his pleasure. I told her she was old fashioned, that I can easily enjoy sex. And I do. I . . . I just didn’t want to think you might have been told the same thing when you started dating . . . that you had to be submissive to make a partner happy.” She offered a smile. “So, like I told my grandmother . . . you enjoy your sex life, right? Really?”

“Yes,” TJ answered without a moment of hesitation. “I do, it’s what I like. I - - It’s hard to explain . . . but . . . being able to give yourself up to someone you trust with your whole heart . . . to _know_ that they’ll take care of you. That sometimes . . . they know what you want more than you do . . . it’s exhilarating. I surrender myself to Steve because I _know_ he’d never do anything to actually hurt me.”

Eyes widening, Anne nodded slowly. “So, it’s not about being hurt at all? It’s about knowing that Steve will stop or go as far as you want without having to say it?”

“Well, no . . . you’ve heard him ask me to _check in_ , right?” TJ asked.

“Yes, he even did that before throwing you in the lake,” Anne confirmed.

“Exactly. Well, if I say _green_ it means he can continue whatever it is he’s doing, or that it’s something I want. _Yellow_ means he needs to slow down . . . take a breather and let me calm down. _Red_ means stop and stop immediately,” TJ said.

“But you didn’t say green . . . and he still threw you in? I thought you guys were just playing, but that was something . . . he checked in and you didn’t give him a green?” Anne looked puzzled.

“I didn’t _verbally_ say green. But Steve knows my body language . . . my - - tones? He knew what I wanted and I didn’t safeword _out_. I could have told him _red_ and he would’ve backed off.”

“So, you have to verbally say red?” Ann looked a little bit worried but more like she was beginning to accept that TJ might really be safe. Everyone who really knew TJ was protective of him, and Anne was no exception.

“Well . . . it’s,” TJ took a moment to think about his next words, “Steve has safeworded out _for_ me a few times. A lot of it is verbal, yes, but some of it is being able to read one another. Does that make sense?”

“TJ,” Anne said slowly, and hugged her brother-in-law tightly. “If you know each other well enough that _Steve_ has been the one to use your safe word _for_ you? And you’ve only known each other just over a month? I now believe in soul mates.” She pulled back and smiled, cupping his face. “No wonder no one else could make you happy. No one else knew you so much as he must.”

TJ grinned widely and hugged Anne tightly, knowing she finally got it. She understood the deep connection between Steve and him. He, of course, didn’t bring up that there was another man, Bucky, who knew him just as well as Steve, shared that same connection.

“So, um . . . any suggestions on how I can, tamely, spark the bedroom for Doug? I think he’s bored. We usually just go right to sleep most nights.” Anne flushed.

Looking thoughtful, TJ said slowly, “did - - did seeing me tied up . . . excite you?”

“Actually, yes . . . and all the, uh, things he had on the table? I didn’t stay to really look and all, but you both were . . .” she flushed brightly, lowering her voice, “so hard . . .”

Laughing sweetly, TJ nodded, “okay, well . . . that’s something you can start with? I mean . . . if you want . . . Steve can teach Doug how to tie the correct knots . . . or you if that’s how it goes on between you two.”

She nodded, swallowing, “it’s hard to believe people teach these things . . . I mean, who taught Steve? Are there actually classes for this kind of sex?”

“Probably, but Steve has a book on knot-tying. He’s been practicing for weeks . . . today was the first time he’d actually felt comfortable enough to tie me up,” TJ said with a soft smile.

“And I walked in on your first time? Oh, I am so embarrassed!” Anne shook her head, burying her face in her hands.

“Anne, we were in the main living room, we knew there was a possibility of someone walking in and seeing us,” TJ said.

Her breath hitched. “I’ve always wanted to do that . . .” she breathed low. “But your mother terrifies me.”

Quirking a brow, TJ tilted his head, “do what? Have sex in the living room?”

She refused to lift her face, shaking her head with a soft whimper of protest.

Eyes widening, TJ thought he might understand what Anne hinted at, “you . . . you wanna have sex where someone could see you?”

“Oh, God, I am so freaky. I just love how Doug makes me feel.” She didn’t lift her face, muttering into her hands. “And I always fantasize about people seeing how he . . . and being so jealous of us . . .”

“Well . . . there - - there are places? They are very discreet . . . but - - if you wanted to try it out sometime . . . exhibitionism, I mean,” TJ tried to explain without saying how _he_ knew of such places in the DC area.

“God, TJ, I’ve never asked Doug if he’s okay with any of this. You know _Doug_!” Anne wiped her hands forcibly down her face as if she could wipe away her blush, her decadent thoughts.

“Well, talk to him. Tell him what you want and see if he wants the same thing. You’d be surprised at how much couples keep things from each other because they are _embarrassed_. Wanting to spice up your sexlife is nothing to be ashamed of.” TJ offered his sister-in-law a reassuring smile. 

“But if he doesn’t want it . . . I’d die having Doug think I’m some kind of freak . . .” Anne breathed quietly, afraid to be overheard.

“He’d never think that of you, Anne. He _adores_ you. Plus,” TJ leaned forward and whispered with a smirk, “when we were teenagers . . . I found his porn stash . . . let me just say that I don’t think you have to be worried about him not _wanting_ to experiment.”

Surprise caused her eyes to widen once more and she bit her lip. A knock on the door came to them. Steve called, “what? You guys trying everything on in there? Dinner’s waiting!”

TJ looked back at Anne, “you okay? I can tell him we need more time?”

“No, I . . .” she smiled at TJ and hugged him. “Thanks! I always thought you were the braver brother. Doug is so afraid he lets your mom make his decisions.”

The admission shocked TJ; no one, except for Steve, had ever called him _brave_. There were many words he’d use to describe himself but _brave_ was never one of them.

“I mean, you always try to do your own thing, including that beautiful nightclub you let Doug have,” Anne hugged him again. Taking TJ’s hands, she pulled him to his feet. “Let’s go eat before Doug thinks I’ve gotten my eating disorder back.”

TJ nodded and walked back out to the living room with Anne. He still couldn’t believe Anne had called him brave . . . she’d seen him at his very worst: high and strung out of his mind.

Sitting next to her husband at the table, Anne smiled at him and then at Bucky then Natasha. “This smells wonderful. Thank you for cooking.”

Bucky grinned. “Had to eat, figured it’d be easier not to have everyone fighting over the kitchen.

As the group ate, Anne slid her shoe off and began to rub it up Doug’s leg under his trouser leg. Doug nearly choked on his bite of pasta; he looked over at his wife with wide eyes. She lifted her fork to her lips, moving her eyes to meet his, her expression innocent. She rubbed again, a bit higher. Doug looked around the table.

Steve leaned over to TJ, hand feeding him small bites on his fork, murmuring like many a good new husband might for his spouse. Bucky was laughing at something Natasha said, his hands to himself but his body leaning close to the pretty redhead.

Letting out a soft breath, Doug dropped a hand under the table, took another bite with the other, and squeezed Anne’s upper thigh, caressing it. She showed no sign of what he did but she slipped her hand down, as if to adjust his napkin, and slipped her fingers directly over his crotch before placing her hand back on the table. Doug didn’t know where this newfound sexual confidence with Anne came from, but he really wanted to thank whoever, or whatever, inspired it.

Bucky glanced over to Doug and Anne, who seemed to be teasing each other and not realizing just how obvious they were. He didn’t mind. It was sweet to see the couple relaxed and loving. They had really needed this vacation. Bucky dragged his eyes back to his wife and smiled, winking at her. In a teasing tone, he said, “maybe you want to check out TJ’s collars after dinner?”

“Yeah, maybe he will have one he can lend to you,” Natasha shot back playfully, smiling at TJ and then her husband. They had never really gone past basic binding in their sex life, but seeing how Steve and TJ acted . . . it excited her. She’d only participated a few times in their group loving.

“Think?” Bucky raised his eyebrows, not rejecting the idea in the least. “You got one I can borrow, TJ? Or is that too weird? Maybe one you don’t like the color so much or something?” He rolled his eyes towards Doug then grinned at Nat, ignoring the fact that he wore an identical _‘Brother Mine’_ collar and his loose _triskelion_ collar from Steve.

“I have a few I haven’t worn yet . . . I don’t mind as long as Steve doesn’t,” TJ looked at Steve.

Steve lifted TJ’s hand. “If you wanna give away a couple of collars to your brothers, I don’t mind, TJ. I think that’s sweet of you to let them try it out.”

Beaming, loving the praise, TJ looked at both Doug and Bucky, “whenever you guys want. I have a few you two can pick from.”

“I look good in red,” Bucky grinned widely. “You got any shades of red you don’t mind parting with?”

Beside Doug, Anne’s breath hitched then she wriggled in her chair under the hand on her thigh, her muscles lightly quivering in her thighs.

“I might be able to part with a red one,” TJ nodded and then looked to Anne, “I’ve got a pretty lavender one that I have absolutely nothing to match with, mind taking it off my hands?”

She blinked, her eyes wide and luminous. “I . . .” she glanced at her husband then back to TJ. “I have something lavender.” She didn’t mention it was lingerie.

“Good, you’ll be doing me a favor,” TJ smiled and winked at Anne before taking another bite Steve offered him.

Steve said, “Doug, gonna get in on his generosity before he retracts it? Nat?” He didn’t draw attention to the lace collar Natasha wore at the moment.

Doug’s eyes widened slightly and he looked at Anne.

She looked at him with those same near innocent, but almost devilish somehow, eyes. She took a bite of her dinner.

Looking back at TJ, Doug swallowed and asked, “you have a silver one, Teej?” He knew his wife’s favorite color was silver. She pulled her breath in, clamping her thighs shut, quivering; she straightened her back.

Smiling, TJ nodded, “I do. It’s really pretty, shimmers a little in the light.”

Steve smiled down at TJ and mouthed, “so generous, my good boy.”

TJ preened under the praise and rested his head against Steve’s shoulder. His pale eyes flickered over to Natasha, “Nat? Any color you want to see on my brother’s neck?”

“Yeah, she wants either black or red, if you’ve got it. So I change my choice to grey or blue.” Bucky winked at TJ.

“Well, I have a spare black one . . .” TJ looked up at Steve to make sure it was okay to be offering up one of the most used colors.

Steve nodded, “he does. I got him two in the last order.”

Natasha nodded, “well, if you’re willing to part with it, TJ, I’d love to be able to change between black and red.”

Bucky looked at her. “Okay, black and red . . .” he agreed, sounding a bit breathless himself. He could see them both working the collars into their bondage scenes. Suddenly, collars didn’t seem like being treated like a dog. He’d gotten used to the two he wore daily.

Seeing how everyone was getting excited, TJ kissed Steve’s shoulder and hurried off to the bedroom to retrieve the collars.

“TJ,” Steve called. “Wanna show your luggage to the others?” He didn’t say the toy box but he hinted at TJ showing off what he chose to, letting the others get some ideas.

“Okay,” TJ called back from the bedroom.

The next few hours resulted in the six discussing how certain toys might work and, after getting over their various levels of embarrassment, what some of their kinks might be. Even Anne finally admitted, in a very soft voice, she liked the thrill of discovery; she buried her face in Doug’s shoulder. Bucky nodded and claimed that bondage was something that he didn't mind exploring. Steve cleared up dinner, including the dishes, allowing the almost odd, unreal feeling to persist while the group could feel comfortable and relaxed discussing something most people were curious about but too nervous to talk about, even with people who knew the answers to some of their questions.

TJ loved answering his family’s questions, helping them all understand a little more about Steve and his lifestyle. He wanted to help both couples become closer; feel more comfortable with themselves and understand that their kinks weren’t weird. Though his eyes kept constantly wandering back to Bucky, excited about several of the ideas his brother wanted to try.

Steve seemed quite pleased with how things went. The man who not a month before was afraid to even admit he had sex with men, as well as women, Steve liked seeing TJ shine in this small group of loving family, instructing them, helping them. He slipped into the bedroom for the final honeymoon gift he’d picked up for TJ. This was the perfect time to share it. He came back with a fairly normal sized box and set it on the middle of the table.

It was a game called _Embrace_ and touted that it would help couples talk about and discover what they might want to try or even have tried that the other partner might want to do, as well. Steve smiled at TJ. “Wanna play a game, pet?”

Smiling wide, TJ nodded, “yes, sir!”

Steve nodded and opened the box, setting up the game and passing the instructions to Doug to read and paraphrase for them. Finally, they began to play and explore their sexuality. The _Truth or Dare_ spaces were really interesting, and at one point someone, no one recalled later who, suggested everyone should share kisses all around.

Steve laughed and leaned over to kiss TJ. He caressed his tongue over his husband’s lips but pulled back before they could get more hot and heavy. He leaned over and slipped a finger beneath Nat’s chin and began kissing her next. Steve then kissed Anne then Bucky and ended with Doug, cupping his face and running his tongue over Doug’s lips in much the same way he had TJ. His enthusiasm gave evidence to his ease with all genders, as he showed no hesitation to perform with the other men or the women. When he finished, Steve pulled back and chuckled at Doug’s look, turning to kiss TJ again. “Who’s next?” he murmured.

Doug blinked and before he could stop himself, he said, “I’ll go.”

Like Steve, Doug started with his spouse, kissing Anne passionately but quickly, hand cupping the back of her neck. After Anne, he kissed Natasha and then Bucky, although that kiss was more of a quick peck on the lips as was the same with TJ. Doug moved on to Steve and, like he did with Anne, cupped the back of Steve’s neck to bring him in for the kiss.

Steve chuckled, crowing, “I got the longest kiss.” He winked at Doug. “Next?”

“Me,” Bucky chuckled in response. He, like Doug, was a _proclaimed_ straight man, but he didn't mind playing this game with his trusted friends, and it gave him an opportunity to manhandle his twin. So, as the others before him, Bucky started with Nat, his spouse. He took a bit to enjoy the kiss before moving over to kissing Anne in a similar fashion, not wanting Steve to tease him about longevity. Taking a slow breath, Bucky turned to his cousin Doug and grabbed his collar, tugging him into a kiss that played over his lips a bit longer than on Doug’s turn. Bucky let him go, moved to bestow a lingering kiss on Steve; his best friend was a hell of a kisser after all. Finally, letting his tongue trace over his lips, Bucky leaned in to TJ. “Ready?” he breathed then leaned in, cupping TJ’s face and slanting his head. He began to kiss his twin, groaning softly as he finally gave into his passion.

TJ let out a small noise of need; they hadn’t slept with one another since the day Doug caught them. TJ tilted his head to better match Bucky’s kisses and easily returned them, his tongue even swiping at Bucky’s lower lip as his arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck, trying to get as close as possible with his twin.

Steve moaned very softly, “my God, I’m beginning to consider group play for my honeymoon . . .”

Bucky finally broke the kiss, his lips lingering a bit, reluctant to draw back. “Hey, TJ,” he breathed and touched foreheads with his brother. “That was . . . something.” He tried to catch his breath and will his body to calm down, relief coursing through his body at once more being able to be intimate with his beloved twin.

Smiling softly, lovingly, TJ nodded his agreement, “yeah . . .” he leaned forward slightly, chasing his brother’s lips.

“Wait’ll you kiss Doug,” he answered, winking. “He’s not half bad, even if he’s shy.” Bucky chuckled.

Laughing, TJ nodded and slowly eased back from Bucky’s hold, letting his hands linger on his brother’s shoulders for a moment before dropping off.

Bucky reached down to readjust himself then scooted closer to his wife and tugged her into a second kiss. “Heya, love,” his light eyes crinkled in a smile.

“Hey,” Natasha whispered against Bucky’s lips, then she called, “my turn.”

Bucky groaned, “this promises to be hot as sin!”

Grinning, Natasha crashed her lips against her husband’s, tongue instantly moving in to explore Bucky’s mouth. After a few long moments with her husband, Natasha moved on to kiss Steve, and TJ, she gave both newlyweds equally passionate kisses. By this time, Doug was feeling a bit more comfortable and wasn’t as stiff when Natasha kissed him; Natasha pulled away from Doug, her teeth lightly pulling at his bottom lip as she did so. As Nat came to Anne, Anne willingly went into the smaller woman’s arms and participated in the kiss, nipping as lightly as she had seen Natasha do to Doug.

Natasha eased back to her spot, giving Anne a wink, next to Bucky. Natasha gave Bucky a quick kiss.

Anne licked her lips and nodded. “My turn, I think,” she said. Turning, she patted her husband’s chest and leaned in for a long, nip-filled kiss, something far more playful than she’d ever done before. She pulled back and moved to share a second kiss with Natasha then with Bucky, whom she seemed to enjoy teasing a bit, hands kneading his shoulders. She moved to Steve for a hands on deep kiss then to TJ, whom she’s always treated as a brother. Anne lay a hand on his chest and leaned in, tracing her lips over his several times before pushing in to deepen the kiss.

TJ whimpered into the kiss and he returned Anne’s passion, hands moving up her sides, tracing along her ribcage and tracing just under her breasts.

“And that’s enough of that!” Doug called out with a laugh, pulling Anne back after several long moments of TJ and Anne kissing heavily.

She slipped backwards easily onto her husband’s lap, stretched up her hands over her head and back to wrap around Doug’s neck and pulled him into an upside down kiss.

By this time, TJ felt so alive from all the caresses and kisses that he felt like he was on the best high of his life. “My turn,” he all but growled before kissing Steve heavily, immediately slipping his tongue into his husband’s mouth.

When he pulled back, Steve whispered against his lips, “go wild, baby. Whatever you want to do . . . with anyone. I give you permission.”

After Steve’s permission, TJ mewled and moved on to Doug. Like Bucky, TJ didn’t just give Doug a quick kiss, he pulled his adoptive brother into a passionate, loving kiss, which Doug actually returned. Moving on to Anne, TJ picked up where they’d left off and slipped in tongue right off the bat, his hands returning to caress the underside of her breasts. Next was Natasha, who he kissed in the same manner as Anne, caressing and feeling her. Natasha did not seem to mind, welcoming and returning the kissing and touching.

Finally, TJ got to Bucky; the smaller brunet looked at his brother and licked his kiss-swollen lips. His pale eyes were slightly blown and he was beginning to develop that needy, desperate flush that Steve and Bucky knew all too well. Leaning forward, so that his lips ghosted over Bucky’s, TJ breathed, “heya, Buck.”

“Heya, brother mine,” Bucky breathed and sealed his mouth over TJ’s, his member still responding to all the shared love play, kissing, touching, and general stimulus of this particular challenge. He groaned into TJ’s mouth.

TJ, too gone in the _feel_ of his brother, straddled his lap and wrapped his fingers in Bucky’s long hair as he deepened the kiss.

Bucky groaned again and pulled back, but not to stop. Instead, he reached down and tugged TJ’s shirt up over his head and off, tossing it aside before caressing his strong right hand down TJ’s breastbone to his abdomen then diving back into the kiss, fingers hooking over TJ’s waistband to hold him close.

Mewling, TJ’s hips rolled, seeking that friction he so desperately needed. TJ pulled his lips from Bucky’s to move them down the hollow of Bucky’s neck. His fingers tightened slightly in Bucky’ hair, tugging barely on the scalp. It had been too long; his body craved his twin’s touch.

Steve came up behind Bucky and shimmied his best friend’s shirt up and off, Bucky absently moving around to aid in his own undressing. Kissing the back of Bucky’s neck, Steve then turned to pull Doug against him, while Bucky groaned into TJ’s mouth and pulled him flush to his chest, ignoring the scarring on his left side. He finally had TJ back in his arms.

“So pretty, Bucky,” TJ breathed, tongue tracing against his brother’s collarbone as his hands trailed down Bucky’s fit chest before his fingers dipped into the waistband of Bucky’s trousers, not quite touching anything but offering that option to Bucky.

Groaning louder, Bucky’s hips canted as TJ’s fingers dipped in, his fingertips barely brushing the head of Bucky’s erect member. “Need . . .” he panted, sounding as needy as TJ ever did. He latched onto TJ’s neck and nipped and laved the flesh while Bucky gripped TJ’s hips and ground up against him.

“You want me, brother?” TJ breathed, whimpering as Bucky’s clothed member brushed against his ass.

“Yeah, need you . . . been apart too long, Teej . . .” Bucky moaned and nipped again. “Need to be one with you . . . my other half . . .” He ground up again.

“Yes . . .” TJ nodded, pushing down against Bucky’s groin. “I’m ready for you, brother. Wanna feel you, Buck. Need it . . .”

“Wanna love you, Teej.” Bucky moved his mouth down TJ’s pale shoulder and neck, nipping, kissing, hands kneading his waist and hips, pushing down his twin’s trousers so he could work the flesh. “Don’t wanna hurt you . . . need to be in you . . .”

“Oh, please . . . Buck - -” TJ’s breath hitched in his throat and he let out a needy whine, “I’m ready for you, Bucky . . . so ready for you . . .”

Bucky moaned and wriggled under TJ. He patted TJ’s hip. "Take ‘em off, Teej.”

Nodding, TJ stood to pull off his loose fitting jeans, letting them fall to the floor so he could step out of them.

As his brother stripped, Bucky stood on shaking legs and pulled his own jeans and boxers off, revealing his full erection, already leaking pre-cum. He sank back onto the chair and held out his hands, pale eyes blown almost completely black. “Come here, Teej. Gotta fill my brother. Gonna take good care of ya.”

Keening, TJ hurried over and sank down on Bucky’s lap, grinding down against his brother’s erect member. “Yes . . . Buck, fill me, please? Wanna be complete . . .”

Bucky began working on TJ’s neck and chest, licking, sucking lightly, nipping. He began to knead his twin’s ass until the fingers of his left hand brushed over the ring of his anal plug. Eyes widening, Bucky ripped his mouth from TJ’s nipple to look down at their laps. “What the hell? Already full?” There was a small whine of neglect to his voice, similar in tones to his brother’s.

“Take it out, Bucky,” TJ suggested softly, “then you can fill me.”

“At least you ain’t caged,” Bucky muttered and slid his finger through the ring, tugging a bit. His eyes widened at TJ’s sounds and Bucky grinned, leaning over to clamp his mouth over his twin’s. Bucky began twisting the plug in circles.

TJ moaned loudly into Bucky’s mouth, his hips thrusting against the plug and Bucky’s fingers. His hands found their way into Bucky’s hair again, wrapping themselves in those long locks and pulling slightly on a breathless whine. Everything about Bucky felt safe, familiar, _right_.

With another panting groan, Bucky began slowly tugging the plug from TJ’s lovely ass, working it back and forth and twisting as he went, making sure the lovely brunet was very open for the more solid cock.

“Please, Bucky . . . please - - ah . . . oh - - please!” TJ begged needily, his hips continuing to roll down against the plug. TJ’s leaking member was trapped between the two firm abdomens and each movement stroked the sensitive flesh.

“You want me now, Teej?” Bucky breathed low, nipping at TJ’s nipple.

Pushing into Bucky’ mouth, head falling back, TJ nodded as he let out another groan, “yes, please! Oh, please, Bucky! Wanna feel whole again . . .”

Bucky nodded and popped the anal plug from TJ with an obscene noise. He grinned and reached over to stroke TJ’s beautiful pink rosebud. “So pretty, TJ. My god, so pretty!” He adjusted his brother in his lap but stopped when a hand dropped to his shoulder. Looking up with lust darkened eyes, he growled, “whatcha want, Steve?”

“Lube, Buck,” Steve chuckled and poured freely onto Bucky’s lap before moving back to Doug’s side, where the women were working him over to keep him on edge while Steve collected what he’d wanted for this love play.

Bucky groaned at the slick dripping down his crotch and the chair below him. “C’mere, TJ!” He growled and tugged his twin back onto his lap, positioning. “Guide me in, brother . . . help me fill you . . . wanna be one with you . . .”

Keening desperately, TJ reached down and gripped Bucky’s member with long, nimble fingers. Slowly, despite the desperate noises, wanting to fill everything, TJ began to lower himself onto Bucky.

Feeling the tight heat of TJ’s passage, Bucky keened low and needy. He kept his hips still but moved his mouth to work on TJ’s other nipple, lapping and nipping gently.

Moaning loudly, TJ finally bottomed out, his ass flush with Bucky’s pelvis. With only a few moments of waiting, TJ began to rise and fall on his brother’s member, his movements still slow. TJ wanted to feel his brother brushing against his walls.

Bucky lifted his mouth to let out a long, low moan. He began to rise and fall in counter-rhythm to TJ’s, slamming together and both pulling apart, increasing the pace every few strokes. Canting his hips, Bucky drove his member over TJ’s prostate, hard.

Yelping in pure pleasure, TJ’s hands moved from Bucky’s hair to rest on the bigger brunet’s shoulders so he could increase the pace. As he began to ride Bucky hard, TJ’s fingers dug into his twin’s right shoulder. “Oh - - ah . . . yes, Bucky! Oh, yes!” TJ gasped out, his hair stuck to his damp temples as he worked his body hard on his twin’s member.

“Touch me, TJ . . . God, touch me!” Bucky moaned as he thrust up hard and deep, keeping pace with his twin. He kept canting to hit his brother’s prostate as he worked.

With a desperate mewl, TJ crashed his lips against Bucky’s, teeth clicking as his tongue thrust deep into Bucky’s mouth.

A moment later, Natasha ran her hand down TJ’s back and leaned over to whisper in the lean brunet’s ear, “you don’t have to go gentle on his left side, little one. Go on, touch him.”

With a nod, TJ squeezed Bucky’s left shoulder, eliciting a low howl of pure gratitude from his brother. Bucky thrust up hard. He responded to the rare touch on his weaker, but not painful, side. “God, yes, love me, Teej . . . please . . . I need you!”

“There you go, little one, keep doing that,” Natasha purred before leaving the twins and returning back to Anne.

TJ ran his hand down Bucky’s scarred arm, feeling each and every bump and ridge, squeezing and caressing the flesh.

Slowly, another body came into contact beside the twins, a breast at the level of each man’s mouth. Anne purred, “feed on me . . . wanna be milked . . .”

Moaning, TJ turned his head and latched his mouth onto one of Anne’s perked nipples, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. Bucky, on her other side, did the same thing, sucking her nipple into his mouth and making small suckling tugs as she groaned, gripping the chair arm and presenting her needy self for her present lover, Natasha.

Bucky reached down between his brother and himself and wrapped his right hand around TJ’s needy, weeping member. He began stroking and twisting, scooping slick oil from between his own legs to make it easier on TJ’s hard staff.

Letting go of Anne’s breast, TJ moaned, a small needy noise. One that Steve and Bucky had heard many times, signaling that he was getting close to slipping into the complete submissive state.

Steve pulled away from Doug once more, leaving the man wanting, tied to his chair spread eagle with scarves. Steve slipped over and lapped at Bucky’s neck. “Order him, Buck. Tell him to cum or not to cum. He needs permission.” Steve nipped at Bucky’s neck, his hand reaching out to stroke through his husband’s damp curls.

With a deep groan, snapping his hips up over and over, Bucky growled out, “Cum for me, TJ! Wanna feel you spill for me. Show me you need me in your beautiful ass.”

With a hoarse shout, TJ’s hips slipped out of rhythm and he covered both their chests and Bucky’s hand with thick white stripes of cum, “oh! Buck!”

With an echoing shout, Bucky thrust up deep, bottoming out as he blasted hot ropes of cum deep into TJ, over-filling his twin, his cum leaking from TJ’s tight, hot passage as Bucky held still and so deep.

Steve gave TJ a long kiss of praise and desire before breaking off, whispering “Good boy, TJ.” He went back to the whimpering Doug, checking that the blindfold remained in place. Truly the bondage had been Doug’s idea, and after earlier, Steve felt much more confident in the play.

Panting, TJ leaned forward and rested his head on Bucky’s left shoulder, nuzzling his twin’s neck and kissing and lapping at the sweaty skin there.

Bucky whimpered in pleasure and a hint of remaining need. He reached over to tilt TJ’s face closer, sealing his mouth over his twin’s lips. “Love you, big brother,” he breathed into his mouth.

Smiling into the kiss, TJ keened and said, “I love you, baby brother . . . you make me feel whole. We were apart too long.”

“Never again, TJ. Wanna be able to touch you whenever we want . . .” Bucky stroked TJ’s cheek with his left hand, the twisted, weakened fingers still enough to leave a hint of red marks from his lightly scratching nails.

“Yes,” TJ breathed, “I want that, Buck. Please? Wanna be able to love you freely. Love you right.”

Calling out, never shy to ask for what he wanted, Bucky called, “I wanna keep him, Nat!”

Laughing sweetly from her spot with Anne, Natasha grinned at her husband.

Steve looked up, pulling his mouth from Doug’s straightening erection. He stroked lightly as he called out, “great idea. How does everyone feel about me buying a three story house with multiple beds and baths? Everyone gets their own floor? Doug and Anne can have the attic suite?” He smiled widely at his friends, his family, his love.

TJ grinned and nodded, “oh, yes, sir! I’d like that!”

“Yes, sir, me, too!” Called Bucky, ending on a moan as he moved his hips, his semi-erection still embedded in his brother’s sweet heat.

TJ groaned, hips rolling in response to Bucky’s movement, “God, Buck!”

Panting, Bucky nodded, “I can be . . . that if you . . . want, Teej . . . as long . . . as you let . . . me stay here. . . like this for . . . about . . . seven days.”

Humming, TJ kissed Bucky languidly, “I’d like that . . . keeping you nice and warm for seven days.”

“Nat, can we move in with TJ and his husband?” Bucky called, stirring his hips again, forgetting in his ecstasy that they had already planned to move as a foursome to New Jersey.

Leaving Anne for a moment, Natasha strode over to Bucky and TJ. She carefully ran her fingers through Bucky’s hair and then did the same with TJ. Looking at her husband, she asked, not correcting his lapse in memory, “you want that, dear? To be able to love and fill your brother whenever you want?”

“God, yes!” Bucky answered, groaning. He turned his head to lap at Nat’s conveniently placed passage. “Wanna love you both . . .”

“I know, my dear,” Natasha cooed and then looked over at TJ, “and what about you little one? Would you like Bucky and I to live with you and Steve?” She reached over and stroked a damp lock of hair from TJ’s face.

TJ whimpered and nodded, “oh, please, Natasha! Please?”

Steve again lifted off Doug’s leaking member. “Anne? Doug?” He ran his fingers through Doug’s hair, “wanna have a room in our house to come up and play?”

Doug simply groaned and nodded his agreement.

“Words, Dougie,” Steve admonished in a loving voice “TJ, tell your little brother lesson number four!”

“If TJ forgets to use his words, TJ doesn’t get what he wants,” TJ called out. Natasha continued to pet TJ’s hair with one hand while her other caressed through Bucky’s.

“And does Doug have to follow the lesson, TJ?” Steve sang out, holding Doug’s shaft but keeping his mouth hovering enticingly close, his breath ghosting over Doug’s slit.

“Yes, sir!” TJ answered, pushing into Natasha’s hand as his hips rolled down against Bucky’s pelvis, stimulating his twin’s sensitive member.

“Doug,” Steve breathed over Doug’s member. “Lesson number four?”

Doug blinked trying to clear the fog in his mind, “if - - I forget to use my . . . words, I don’t get what I want?” Doug was so disorientated by pleasure.

“Good boy,” Steve said and engulfed Doug with wet heat. He began sucking, hard, teasing his perineum and sac.

Tugging slightly on Bucky’s hair, Natasha said, “TJ did good helping Doug, my dear, you going to reward him for being a good boy?”

Bucky lifted his face from his wife’s passage, eyes dazed. “TJ, wantcha want, brother mine?” He turned his face to TJ. “Want me to suck you off? Or? Nat, what should I give him?” He stroked TJ’s hips and sides, his left hand weaker but not totally useless.

TJ mewled, grinding in Bucky’s lap, “don’t pull out, Buck! Please?”

“I can stay here. You gonna keep me warm, Teej?” Bucky groaned softly.

“Oh, yes, I’ll keep you warm, Buck. I can be your good boy, too,” TJ keened, massaging Bucky’s left shoulder. “Will you let me be your good boy, Buck? Please?”

Bucky grinned. “I want you to be my good boy, TJ, if Steve lets us.” He knew, in his guts, that TJ would always need Steve to approve anything, even the sexual union of the twins.

“Please, sir?” TJ turned to looked over his shoulder at his husband, “can I be Bucky’s good boy, too?”

“I’ll think about it. For now, you may obey him.” Steve grinned at Doug’s needy whine every time he had to pull off. Stroking Doug’s hair, Steve asked, “poor baby, want me to take care of that? You’ve been so good . . .”

“Y - yes,” Doug moaned, breathless and desperate.

“TJ, want me to lend your Hummingbird and a beginner plug to your little brother?” Steve called, stroking Doug’s weeping, painfully hard member. He kept their toys very clean and tended, so there was no risk playing with the larger group.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, he shifted in Bucky's lap so that he could lean over and lap at Bucky's neck, sucking and nipping at the same spot until he left a deep purple bruise.

“Thank you, my generous boy,” Steve cooed and immediately turned to lap at Doug’s member before retrieving the desired toys. He sank back down to his knees in front of Doug and stroked his thigh. “If you need to stop, Dougie, tell me to stop.” He would get into the safewords later. Doug was too far gone to use protest as a tease.

Doug nodded, cheeks flushed, “o- -okay.”

Nodding, Steve used a bit of lube to slick up Doug’s erection then slid the ribbed silicone sheath over the man’s needy member. His attached the wand and set it on low, vibrating the entire setup. As Doug keened in surprise and lust, Steve lubed up the smallest plug and rubbed it against Doug’s virgin passage.

Moaning long and low, Doug instinctively pushed down against the plug, wanting - - _needing_ it inside him.

“There’s a good boy,” Steve praised, kissing at Doug’s neck. He kept rubbing the plug in circles against that tight muscle, teasing him, stretching him, until Steve finally slid the smooth toy inside. He bottomed out in that one graceful glide and stopped, kissing and nipping Doug’s neck and shoulder, letting the bound, blindfolded man catch his breath.

The unusual, pleasurable _full_ feeling drove Doug's breath from him. He panted and squirmed in his seat, as much as the bindings would let him. “God, _Steve . . ._ ”

“Yeah, baby? Talk to me,” Steve cooed, stroking Doug’s hair, hand still holding the plug carefully, deep but unmoving.

“Feels . . . feels _good_ ,” Doug whimpered.

“Want to move, baby? Want more?” Steve asked softly.

“Yes . . . please, more,” Doug gasped, fingers flexing and gripping at the armrests of the chair.

“Wanna be free, baby?” Steve cooed as he let go the plug with a wiggle and began lubing the next in line.

Doug nodded, mouth hanging open slightly, “yes.”

Stroking Doug’s thigh, scratching his nails very lightly over the pale flesh, Steve cooed, “that’s right, baby . . . breathe for me.” He unbound Doug’s arms, pulling his blindfold off, not wishing to push the man too far into sensory deprivation since Doug seemed new to this kind of play. Manipulating the smaller plug, wiggling it a bit and pulling it out then pushing it back in, Steve said, “tell me what you want, Dougie . . .”

Gasping, Doug let out a whimpering keen and he blinked in the new lighting, “I want . . . I want you, Steve.” Doug had never actually experimented with men, had always _assumed_ he was as straight as an arrow, but obviously he was wrong.

Nodding, Steve kissed Doug’s lips. “Want me to stretch you out and fill you up, baby?” he purred, scratching again at his brother-in-law’s pectoral.

Doug nodded, looking at Steve with lust hazed eyes, “yes.”

“Good boy, Dougie. TJ, sweetheart, how’s it going warming Bucky?” He smiled at his husband, to let him know Steve was very aware what his lover was doing and fully approved. Steve caressed his hand under Doug’s member and slid the plug out. He moved his second plug to Doug’s passage, stretching around the muscle with the tapered, smooth end of the solid, crafted glass. He began to ease the plug inside Doug’s tight heat, twisting a bit to keep stretching him.

“Oh, it’s good, sir,” TJ mewled, he kissed Bucky’s stubbled jaw before continuing, “he feels so good, Captain!”

“Made to be together, Teej,” Bucky moaned, caressing his brother's hips. He lifted his right hand to stroke down TJ’s breastbone then back up, sliding his hand sideways to scratch over his nipple. Bucky leaned over to capture TJ’s free nipple between careful teeth.

Steve crooned back, “good boy, my lovely TJ. You warm your brother like a good big brother.” He finished sliding the second plug all the way into Doug, angling it a bit to drag over Doug’s prostate.

At the stimulation to both his nipples, TJ keened and his member twitched, beginning to become erect once more. “B - - Buck! Oh . . . you make me feel so good . . .”

“Anything for my brother,” Bucky murmured around the nipple in his mouth. He lapped the nub then nipped again, tugging very slightly. Switching to a suckling motion, Bucky began to knead TJ’s other breast with his left hand, squeezing in a matching rhythm to his mouth.

Slowly, Steve worked Doug’s ass, pulling out the plug and sliding it back in, over and over, fucking Doug with the shaped toy. He again slid over Dug’s prostate, testing to see if Doug was one of those men that didn’t like it or if he would start responding to the individual feelings.

Groaning, seeing white as the plug slid over his prostate, Doug’s hips thrust upwards, trying to push the toy deeper.

“Good boy, baby,” Steve praised. He eased the plug from Doug’s passage and slid two fingers into him carefully. Giving Doug a moment to register the change, Steve began to scissor him open wider.

Doug moaned and rolled his hips to meet Steve’s fingers; he already felt close to the edge, the anal play driving him closer to orgasm than anything he’d ever felt before.

After a few more spreading strokes, Steve slid his fingers free and added a third finger, easing into Doug in one smooth push, his fingers caressing over his prostate once more. “Gonna feel real good, baby . . . that’s three, Dougie . . .”

Keening, Doug pushed down against Steve’s fingers, the stimulation to his prostate causing his weeping member to twitch.

Smiling, working Doug open further, finding the man willing and very pliable, Steve looked over to his husband and called, “should I fill him, pet?” Steve stroked and twisted, curled and scissored.

Lifting his mouth from Bucky’s, TJ looked over his shoulder at his husband and adoptive brother, “oh, yes, sir. You’ll make him feel so good.”

Nodding, offering TJ a sweet smile of sinful innocence, Steve slid Doug off the chair, into his arms. He lay the man on the plush carpet, on his back, and leaned over him, once again working him with his three fingers. “More, Dougie?” he breathed out, his other hand grabbing his inhaler. Steve began shaking the inhaler, causing his body to shake and therefore his fingers inside Doug to shake and stutter and vibrate fast and hard.

Moaning, Doug nodded, lust blown eyes focusing solely on Steve, “yes, please? Give me more?”

Steve took his two hits then stroked his hand gently down Doug’s cheek. He took the inhaler from his mouth and dropped it to the rug. “You got it, baby. Let me do . . .” Steve curved the three fingers to press in a long drag over Doug’s prostate as he removed his fingers. “Ready, baby?” Steve asked, lining up, a large promising pressure at Doug’s hot passage, not needing his erectile medicine with TJ so close to hand. His husband had the effect of stimulating him.

“Yes, _God, yes_ ,” Doug breathed, canting his hips up at the enticing pressure.

Not denying his lover any further, Steve eased into Doug, slowly, smoothly stroking into him until he bottomed out, steadying him by the hips with both hands. He waited, letting Doug adjust, to feel, smiling as he captured Doug’s lips with his own.

Returning the kiss, Doug knew he wouldn’t last long, he was already so close, so stimulated. Steve filled him so full, the fullness being the only thing he could focus on, which only brought him closer to the edge. Doug, after a few short moments, keened and pushed down against Steve, telling him it was okay to start moving.

“There’s a good boy. It’s okay,” Steve cooed and began his slow steady slide out then back in, going gently, knowing Doug was an anal virgin and so new to this. He kept up the steady pace, canting his hips to slide against his prostate every fifth stroke. “You can move, baby. Go ahead, Dougie, feel it . . .”

It took a few thrusts for Doug to begin meeting Steve’s steady rhythm. “Steve . . . I’m - -” Doug moaned, breath catching in the back of his throat.

“Need to cum, baby? Want me to stop?” Steve purred out, continuing his steady drag in Doug’s tight heat.

“Don’t stop, please, don’t stop,” Doug whimpered, feeling that tightening in his balls as Steve’s member brushed over his prostate once more.

“You go ahead and cum, baby. I’ll stay inside . . . won’t stop,” he promised on a growl. Steve rolled his hips so he could strike Doug’s prostate. He brought a hand over from Doug’s hip to encircle his member with a large, strong, calloused hand, letting their rocking motion set the slow, engulfing pace.

After receiving permission, it was only a few more moments before Doug’s back arched off the floor, gasping as he came, painting Steve’s hand with his hot load.

True to his word, Steve kept thrusting in Doug’s contracting passage, kissing Doug’s lips, eyelids, and cheeks. “Good boy, such a good boy. Go ahead baby, let it all out. Take me deep . . .”

After finishing, Doug looked up at Steve with half-lidded eyes, cheeks completely flushed with release. And Steve’s continual thrusts made the brunet keen softly.

Steve kissed Doug’s lips and lifted his hand to stroke the man’s hair from his eyes, stroking his soaked face. “Such a good boy, like your big brother. Doing so well. If you want me to keep going, tell me _green_. You want me to stop, say _red_ , Dougie,” Steve instructed in a loving voice.

After a few moments, the thrusting becoming almost too much, too much stimulation, Doug breathed out, “red.”

Steve immediately stopped dead still. He studied Doug’s eyes as he let the man come down from some of his high, knowing Doug would again get stimulated when Steve went to drag out of him. But, he did stay absolutely still, holding Doug just as still. “Breathe, baby, breathe. Don’t move, just breathe,” he coaxed.

Doug nodded, following Steve’s instructions as he took in and released deep breaths.

Steve kept up in his calm, gentle tone, a hint of pure steel under the soft command, “if you move, you’ll feel again. Just breathe. When your body calms down I’ll pull out. Can’t do that too soon or you’ll hurt, baby. Do you understand?”

Yes,” Doug confirmed, his breathing beginning to even out.

Someone made a move towards the pair, and Steve growled out, “don’t you dare touch him, Anne! Give him time.”

Anne backed off, eyes wide, body thrumming from her own orgasm, worry etched on her face to see her husband stuffed so full. “Doug? Are you okay?"

"Yeah . . . I’m okay,” Doug nodded, the cloudy haze in his eyes clearing.

"Don’t move!” Steve barked out.

Looking up at Steve, Doug stayed still after that order.

Doug, I need you to obey your own safeword out, too. You said it was too much,” Steve’s voice gentled once more as he explained. “By moving you risk driving me deeper or over your sensitive spots, and that can ratchet you so high, you’ll get physically sick. Do you understand?”

"Yes,” Doug confirmed, still not moving.

"Good boy, you’re doing real good, Dougie,” Steve cooed. “Now, feel, without moving. Do you think you can stand me pulling out now? I won’t touch your prostate.”

“Yes, you can pull out,” Doug said after a moment.

“Good boy,” Steve cooed. “Take a deep breath, let it out slow.” As Doug obeyed, Steve pulled out on the air release, in one smooth swift pull. He then began stroking Doug’s hair, soothing, cooing, “good boy, just breathe, baby. You’re doing good. TJ? Mind letting Bucky have his wife for a moment? Dougie needs you to show him how to come down.” He never took his eyes off Doug, knowing he could help Doug just as easily, but TJ was more experienced and Steve didn’t want to risk making Doug sick. He’d never had to deal with a mid-stroke safeword.

Whimpering, not wanting to leave his brother just yet, TJ kissed Bucky once more before pulling off his lap.

“Go ahead, TJ, our other brother needs his big brother,” Bucky smiled as TJ pulled off, his member pulsing in desire.

Ignoring his own needs for a moment, TJ walked over to Doug and knelt down by his side, talking to him soothingly as he brought his brother down from the high.

Steve continued to hold Doug, soothing his hair, smiling in approval at TJ’s behavior. Slowly, he let go of Doug and guided TJ into his place. Steve got up with a soft groan and moved towards Natasha, Anne, and Bucky. “Anyone still up for playing?” He growled softly, allowing them to choose their tolerance, despite having not cum yet himself.

Anne shook her head and moved towards her husband. “Thanks, Steve, but I’m a bit spent. Wanna cuddle my Dougie?” she looked to TJ for permission and advice.

Steve reached over and stroked a large hand down Natasha’s rather petite back. “You want to help Doug and Anne? TJ’s still needy, I’m thinking.” He smiled and leaned over to kiss between her shoulder blades. “Maybe later I can fill you, too, Nat.”

Nodding, Natasha walked over to Doug, Anne and TJ; she looked up at Steve and said, “I’m going to hold you to that, Rogers.”

“You know it,” he promised.

Gently caressing TJ’s arm, Natasha cooed to the slender brunet, “go on, little one, I can handle this from here.”

Keening, TJ nodded and eased Doug into the women’s care before scurrying back to Bucky and Steve. TJ knelt at his husband’s feet and nuzzled the blond’s lower abdomen.

“Need to finish warming your baby brother, pet. There’s my good boy. Finish what you started . . .” Steve cooed, stroking TJ’s dark curls.

Whimpering in need, TJ climbed back onto Bucky’s lap and eased his brother’s member back into his cum-slicked passage.

Bucky wrapped his hands around TJ’s hips and groaned in appreciation.”Good, so tight, Teej. So damn good . . .”

Steve tapped TJ’s jaw. “Open up, pet. I still haven’t cum.”

Opening his mouth, TJ looked up at Steve, hardly any pale blue could be seen in his eyes. TJ bottomed out on Bucky’s lap and held still for both men to use him for their pleasure.

Steve reached over to the stash he’d brought out earlier and grabbed some natural, chemical free wipes. He cleaned his straining member then let it dangle before his lover’s face. “Open,” he whispered.

Opening wider, TJ squirmed in Bucky’s lap.

Bucky’s hands tightened, “stop wiggling, Teej,” he moaned. “You don’t move when you’re warming. Need a lesson or something?”

Steve began to slide his meaty staff into his husband’s eager mouth, letting Bucky and TJ work out dominance between them.

TJ swallowed down Steve’s member easily, moaning and keening around the thick shaft. Being filled completely, from both ends, had TJ immediately slipping into that submissive state. His body thrummed, felt like it was floating, and he never wanted to come down. This was where he belonged, this is what he _wanted_ to do. He wanted to be loved and fucked, make people feel good while doing it. And making _Steve and Bucky_ happy at the same time . . . well, there was no drug that could give him the same high he was feeling right then.

Steve lovingly tugged at TJ’s curls and cooed, “my good boy . . . so good . . .”

Humming around Steve’s massive tool, TJ’s hips involuntarily rolled, pushing down against Bucky’s member.

Bucky didn’t seem to mind TJ’s movement. He moaned as he slipped deeper. “Damn, Teej . . . you are so damn fine . . .”

Looking up at Steve from under his lashes, TJ began to thrust himself up and down on Bucky’s erection, moving Steve’s member in and out of his throat as he did so.

Steve chuckled. “Are you fucking him or warming him, my pet?”

TJ’s hips immediately stilled, keeping Bucky’s erection deep inside him but nothing more, the lean brunet kept his eyes on his husband, waiting to see what it was he wanted.

Steve tugged TJ’s hair again and cooed, “good boy. Once you’ve made me cum and cleaned me up, I think it’s time for another game. This last one was a total success. Do you think you can warm your baby brother during our next game, sweetheart?” Steve began to thrust into his lover’s throat, carefully, slowly.

Nodding, making a hum of acknowledgement, TJ forced his hips to remain still as he continuously swallowed down Steve’s large shaft. Just _feeling_ his brother inside him while Steve fucked his mouth kept him close to the edge, not enough to cum, but enough to keep him very aroused and needy. TJ’s body was misted with sweat and completely flushed as he worked his husband’s member. His tongue swirling around Steve’s cockhead, flicking over the blond’s slit before swallowing him down again.

Steve let loose a low moan. He wrapped his fingers in TJ’s curls and let go, over and over, tugging and releasing. “You have such a hot mouth, pet. Love how you feel . . . wanna cum. Waited long enough,” he hinted, “Doug couldn’t do it . . . you need to cover for your brother and make me cum, TJ.”

Swallowing down Steve’s member all the way, until his nose brushed against his husband’s pelvis, TJ swallowed around Steve’s large tool. Working his muscles over and around as he hummed, sending vibrations up through Steve’s erection.

Hands stilling, Steve gave a small thrust followed by a coo. “Close, baby . . . such a good mouth . . . such a beautiful baby . . .” Steve lightly stroked TJ’s hair, massaging against his scalp. He then tugged enough to make his husband’s scalp burn, stopping just as quickly and soothing once more.

Groaning around Steve’s shaft, TJ swallowed again and looked up at his husband.

“Gonna fill your throat until you can’t swallow it all,” Steve warned right before he came, hot ropes of cum shooting down TJ’s throat as Steve kept his eyes locked on his husband’s.

As promised, TJ wasn’t able to swallow all of Steve’s load. He had to pull back slightly to avoid gagging, so some cum leaked from the corners of his mouth. After Steve had finished cuming, TJ pulled back a little more to clean his husband, lapping at any seed he could find. TJ sucked around the blond’s sensitive tip, tongue darting into the slit.

Steve continued stroking and lightly tugging his husband’s hair, cooing without words, his hips still and his large member not quite flaccid but wilted enough not to be able to use as a tool for a bit. Finally, he pulled TJ’s head back, bent down, and deep kissed him, tracing his tongue into TJ’s mouth and tasting them together.

Keening into the kiss, TJ tilted his head to deepen it, his tongue tracing along Steve’s teeth.

Steve tangled his fingers once more into his lover’s hair as they kissed and explored.

TJ pulled back just enough to nip at Steve’s bottom lip. The movements caused his hips to rise and fall slightly, his walls clenching around Bucky’s member still buried deep inside him.

Bucky breathed out a soft moan. “Think you’re missing the point of a warming, Teej,” he chuckled, a bit breathlessly.

Steve pulled back from his husband with one last nip to his bottom lip. He looked over to the other trio and smiled. “Doug, baby, check in. Green is good, yellow is not sure, red is not good.”

“Green,” Doug replied, looking and sounding much like his old self, maybe a bit more relaxed but not needy or desperate.

__“That’s good, baby. Anne?” Steve asked, smiling still._ _

__“Ah . . . good . . .” she sounded breathless and a bit needy, and it turned out she was watching TJ and Bucky with interest._ _

__Steve nodded, “Natasha? Check in?” he sounded amused asking another dom to check in._ _

__“Oh, I’m green,” Nat answered, sounding calm and collected._ _

__“TJ?” Steve asked, stroking his husband’s shoulder then back. “Check in?”_ _

__“Oh - - ‘m green, sir,” TJ keened, struggling to stay still on Bucky’s lap._ _

__“Green and needy, pet?” Steve chuckled. “Buck?”_ _

__Bucky lifted darkened eyes and grinned, finally settling his hands on TJ’s hips and tightening his fingers. “Green if he’d stop trying to pleasure us. This sensual little beast is gonna drive me over the edge!”_ _

__“Naughty boy,” Steve growled softly. “TJ, what are you supposed to be doing?”_ _

__“W - - warming my baby brother, sir,” TJ breathed out on a small whimper._ _

__“And what are you really doing, you minx?” Steve growled again, eyes amused._ _

__“‘M pleasuring us, sir,” TJ admitted._ _

__“Are you being a bad boy?” Steve asked._ _

__Shifting a bit, TJ moaned, “but - - sir . . . he - - he feels so good!”_ _

__“Is this about you feeling good?” Steve growled. He walked into the bedroom and quickly returned with the entire toy suitcase. He opened it, revealing everything they’d brought with them._ _

__“N - - no, sir,” TJ groaned at seeing the suitcase, whimpering and shifting again; he just couldn’t seem to hold still. He wanted to, he wanted to be a good boy, but Bucky felt so good inside him and he needed his brother._ _

__“Sounds like you’re misbehaving on purpose!” Steve reached into the suitcase and pulled out a pair of scarves. “Gonna need you to behave or I punish you in front of your brothers, pet. Is that what you want?”_ _

__“No, sir! I’m - - I’m trying . . . honest!” TJ whimpered, looking at Steve with wide, blown eyes._ _

__“But you’re not doing what you say you are, TJ. Look at what you’ve done to your brother! He can barely concentrate.” Steve wrapped one scarf around his hand then unwound it. “Might have to switch warmers . . .”_ _

__“I - - I can do it, sir! Please . . . I can do it,” TJ pleaded, making a point of holding as still as possible, but he still couldn’t do it completely._ _

__Without warning, Bucky tightened his grip on TJ’s hips and start thrusting up hard inside him. “Driving me nuts, Teej!” He sounded needy and desperate suddenly, after only a little wriggling . . . and TJ trying to behave and protest. “You better finish what you started!”_ _

__Crying out in pleasure, TJ moaned loudly and immediately met his brother’s rhythm. His breathing came out in needy, desperate mewls. “Oh . . . Bucky!” TJ grunted out between thrusts, his head falling back and exposing his neck and collars to the rest of the people in the room._ _

__Bucky continued pounding up into TJ, gripping his hips in tight hands. He lifted up to deepen his thrusts, bottoming out with each hard stroke. “Gotta . . . damn . . . wanna . . . fill ya up . . . TJ . . . fuck ya full!” He nuzzled at his twin’s neck, lapping around the edges of the waterproof collar and the leather twin collar below it._ _

__“Yes! Fuck me! Fill me so full, Buck!” TJ moaned, meeting his twin’s brutal thrusting with his own, filling the room with the wet sound of skin meeting skin._ _

__Grasping TJ’s hips as if for his life, Bucky shifted enough to cant his hips, reaching deeper and able to thrust harder. “Wanna cum . . . “ he breathed, panting, feeling the familiar tightening in his heavy balls. “Wanna . . .” Bucky keened, long and low, still thrusting, almost aching from his need for release._ _

__“Fill me so full, Buck! Wanna feel your cum leaking out of me!” TJ groaned, chest heaving._ _

__Steve shook his head, “TJ, stop moving.” His tone was commanding enough to cause Bucky to still with a whimper of need._ _

__Whimpering loud and low, TJ immediately stilled, panting and looking at his husband with wide eyes._ _

__“What do you think, Natasha? Bucky’s encouraging my sub to misbehave. Look how they’re acting during a _warming_.”_ _

__“I think they both need punishing; we can’t have them living together if they can’t behave together,” Natasha said with a firm nod, eyeing the twins with intense eyes as she stepped up beside Steve. “Are you misbehaving, my dear?” She asked her husband._ _

__“No, doll. TJ is,” Bucky moaned. “I was s’pose to be warmed. Now I _need_ to fuck . . . gotta cum.”_ _

__TJ let out a low whine, looking over his shoulder to glare at his twin._ _

__Bucky groaned out, “but wanna take his punishment . . . he’s on his wedding night . . .”_ _

__“Well, that’s awful nice of you, my dear,” Natasha looked at TJ, “you hear that, little one? Your baby brother wants to take your punishment, that doesn’t seem fair, now does it?”_ _

__Looking at Nat, TJ shook his head, “n - - no . . . not fair.”_ _

__“But I wanna . . .” Bucky whined in need. “Then I can cum . . . need ta cum! TJ’s ass is too good!”_ _

__Looking at Steve, Natasha quirked a brow at the other dom._ _

__Steve shook his head. “So, both are misbehaving . . .” he translated. “Doug, what do you think about your brothers’ behavior over here?” He wrapped the scarf around his large hand then unwrapped it once more, over and over._ _

__Doug looked at both Bucky and TJ, “looks like both are misbehaving to me.”_ _

__“And when someone breaks the rules, Doug, what happens?” Steve deliberately took his time with this _decision_ , giving the twins a chance to cum if they could, but they weren’t allowed to move. _Would the intense situation and deeply buried member be enough to draw them both over the edge_ , Steve wondered._ _

__“They get punished,” Doug supplied, turning his head to kiss Anne’s bare shoulder._ _

__Anne purred and stretched like a slinky cat. “I can warm without moving, Doug,” she offered._ _

__“You can?” Doug looked surprised._ _

__“I can stay still and warm you, Doug,” she answered with a promising smile. “I can show them how it’s done?”_ _

__Steve shook his head. “You may warm your husband, Anne, if Doug wants. But teaching them isn’t punishing them for being deliberately bad. I think they need to be separated for some time.” Steve wrapped his arms around TJ and forcefully pulled him up and off Bucky._ _

__Bucky shouted out and came hard, his seed getting everywhere on his lap, the chair, and even hitting TJ’s ass in the initial hard release._ _

__Unfortunately for TJ, he did not get his release that he was aching for; he whimpered and keened in Steve’s arms, trying to grind his needy erection against anything within his reach._ _

__Steve carried TJ to his own chair and plopped him down hard enough his ass made a smacking sound on the hard wood. He tied his husband’s upper arms to the chair, then his wrists up and across his chest so he couldn’t reach his member. “Stay,” Steve ordered, “and think about why you’re being punished, love.” He let go his husband and stepped back over to Doug and Anne, letting Nat deal with Bucky._ _

__Natasha stepped over and wrapped her fingers into Bucky’s hair and tugging hard enough to burn but not rip._ _

__Startled, Bucky’s head snapped back and he met his wife’s eyes. “Punish me? I fucked TJ . . .” he sounded breathless._ _

__“I know, my dear. You were doing so good, too, until you played right into his hands. I know you have more control than that,” Natasha admonished, shaking her head._ _

__Bucky whimpered. “He’s so hot and sexy. I was born to fill him up, doll.” He blinked slowly, eyes totally blown, “think I fucked him in the womb?”_ _

__“Maybe, maybe not. But that doesn’t give you any right to misbehave, my dear, now does it?” She asked sharply._ _

__Bucky whimpered and rolled his eyes to study TJ tied in his hard chair. He whimpered again. “Wanna fuck him . . .”_ _

__Tugging her husband’s hair again, forcing him to look at her, Natasha said, “you will not, unless you _behave_. TJ is a _reward_ for good behavior, my dear. And do you deserve such a sweet reward, my love?”_ _

__Eyes snapping back to meet his wife’s, Bucky licked his lips. “I can be good,” he promised. “Wanna earn my brother . . .”_ _

__“I know know you do, my dear,” she lessened her grip on Bucky’s hair and moved her hand to trail down his cheek, “and what punishment do you think you deserve for fucking your brother during a _warming_ , hmm?”_ _

__“To fuck him again . . .” Bucky said with a mischievous smile, coming down from his high a bit - - enough to really misbehave._ _

__Steve shook his head, hiding his amusement behind a hand and downcast eyes._ _

__Natasha shook her head and she growled, “you stay there. You move, and you’ll only make it worse for yourself.”_ _

__“But, I’m messy . . .” Bucky whimpered, not one to prefer being dirty._ _

__“And whose fault is that?” Natasha asked with a quirked brow, face impassive._ _

__“TJ’s?” Bucky asked, glancing at TJ with that wicked glint in his eyes. “Because he’s so damn fuckable?”_ _

__TJ whimpered and shifted under his brother’s gaze, he _ached_. Bucky had been able to cum, but he hadn’t been so lucky, his erection strained, nearly purple._ _

__“Does he need further punishment, Natasha? You can use what’s in the box. I’ve got a couple things in there I haven’t yet tried on TJ . . .” Steve gestured towards his suitcase. “Maybe he’s a bit too randy for his own good? You keep him sexed up real well and he just can’t get enough. He needs to learn control?”_ _

__With one final look at her husband, Natasha bent over to look through the suitcase and rummaged through its contents. After several long moments, she pulled out some items; one she kept hidden from her husband, but the others were a few silk scarves. Working swiftly, as if she’d tied the knots many times before, Natasha bound her husband to the chair. Just as fast and sure, she pulled out the hidden object and quickly locked a male chastity cage around Bucky’s spent member. Looking up at Bucky, Natasha flashed him a sly smirk, “well, there. Now control won’t be an issue, will it?”_ _

__He groaned and let his head fall back against the hard back of the chair. “My God, Tash! You play mean!” He whimpered as his member pulsed but cried out softly as the solid stainless steel kept his erection from growing; there was no room, and no upcurve for it to go._ _

__TJ whimpered again, a mix of sympathy for his brother and desperate need for his own release. He’d never seen the chastity cage before and he groaned knowing Steve had bought it for him. He keened, trying to get the attention of Steve._ _

__Turning, Steve walked over. “Need something, pet?”_ _

__“Need to . . . sir - -” TJ keened again and ground his ass against the hard seat as much as the binding would let him._ _

__“Have you thought about why you’re there and needy, pet?” Steve asked, walking so close his semi-erection was within licking range._ _

__“I - - I was a bad boy, sir . . . I - - I was teasing my brother, sir. I made him lose control,” TJ moaned, looking up at Steve with wide eyes._ _

__“Good boy. Thank you for admitting your mistake. Are you ready to stop your punishment now?” Steve asked with a smile. The group play was too new and enticing to want to deprive TJ for too long, especially since he was the only one who hadn’t finished._ _

__“Yes, sir . . . please?” TJ whimpered._ _

__Steve immediately dropped to his knees, leaving his husband bound in the slip knots that held him to the chair with his arms crossed over his chest. He took TJ’s aching erection in his mouth and began sucking him, sliding him down quick and sure, drawing a shocked groan from Anne, who’d been watching intently._ _

__TJ cried out, a loud sobbing noise of immense pleasure and relief. “Oh . . . Captain - - yes . . . so good to me . . .”_ _

__Pulling his mouth off his husband, Steve purred, “want you to cum, baby.” He engulfed him again, bottoming TJ out in his throat and holding him there, as if merely warming him, letting TJ take his pleasure if he chose._ _

__With another sob, the past few hours building up his desperation, TJ cried out and came down Steve’s throat, mewling and groaning in a small, breathless voice._ _

__Bracing his strong hands on TJ’s hips, a lightly bruising grip, Steve drank down every hot blast, using his lack of gag reflex in his favor. He began to slowly pull back, still swallowing, using his throat to milk TJ’s cock._ _

__Whimpering, tears running from the corners of his eyes, TJ let his head fall back against the chair and took some deep breaths to calm himself down. His body quivered and his body completely relaxed._ _

__Steve finished pulling off, cleaning his husband lovingly, thoroughly. He kissed TJ’s quivering thigh and whispered against the flesh, “we’ll work on warming etiquette, love.”_ _

__Natasha ran her fingers through Bucky’s hair and whispered, “you learn your lesson, my dear?”_ _

__“Not if you want me to keep my dick outta my brother,” Bucky breathed. “But, yeah . . . maybe I shouldn’t have teased him and told you it was his fault? I was moving a bit inside him,” Bucky admitted._ _

__“There you go, my dear. I always want the truth from you. And throwing your sweet big brother under the bus? I hope you never do that again,” Natasha looked at Bucky expectantly._ _

__Bucky shook his head. “Never blame TJ for my own misbehavior, even if he helps me do it,” Bucky recited._ _

__“You two _share_ the blame if both of you misbehave, yes?” Natasha reached over to unlock the cage._ _

__“So, why’s he getting the blow job from heaven and I’m in a fuckin’ cage?” Bucky growled, but his eyes held mischief._ _

__Her hand stopped before she freed her husband; Natasha looked at Bucky with stern eyes, “because he admitted his wrongdoings right when Steve asked, my dear.”_ _

__Bucky chewed his bottom lip, as if thinking that over. He then whispered, his voice strained, “but he’s had practice in this punishment thing.”_ _

__“I know, that’s why I’m not leaving you in this for any longer, but if you misbehave again? It’s going right back on, okay?” Natasha asked._ _

__Bucky met his wife’s eyes and nodded slowly. “Okay. That’s fair.”_ _

__Nodding, Natasha unlocked the cage and then untied the silk scarves around his wrists._ _

__“We need a bigger toy collection,” Bucky groaned, massaging his left arm carefully but not complaining or saying it was unfair to bind that arm. Bucky liked that his wife knew he wasn’t as limited as people thought. Slipping off the chair, Bucky strode over to the suitcase and shook his head as he rooted through it._ _

__Steve caressed TJ’s thighs lightly. “If you’re interested in the toys, Anne, Doug, we use a discreet store called _Imago_ ,” he said. “And they do online orders, too, if you’re interested.”_ _

__“Sounds like something we should look into,” Doug said._ _

__Nodding, Anne stroked a hand down Doug’s chest. “This is okay, Doug? Tonight?” she breathed, nuzzling into his neck then lifting her face to look at her husband._ _

__“This is great,” Doug laughed, kissing Anne on the lips._ _

__“Okay, guys,” Steve’s voice sounded serious, his smile wide and encouraging, “we have a process for play scenes. And part of it is discussing what went right and wrong so we know how to play in the future. In such a big group, I think that’s really valuable, giving everyone a voice. So, while we cool down, we need to talk. Everyone get comfortable.” Steve slid an arm under TJ’s legs and one behind his back, lifting his husband easily. He carried him over to one of the large couches and settled down, TJ spread on top of him, both stretched out._ _

__TJ nuzzled at Steve’s chest, still trembling slightly as he cuddled against his husband’s firm chest._ _

__Nodding, Bucky stood and hissed slightly. “Gotta pee. Be right back.” He headed for his bedroom but didn’t shut the door, only closing the inner bathroom door. He came back in a moment, drying his hands. He checked the three pets, who had found their own entertainment in the fourth bedroom. Bucky topped up the food and water, and made sure Phil was good to go for the moment. Getting water for the group and delivering it to them, he then scooped up his laptop and settled onto one of the couches, leaving the third for Anne and Doug. “Natasha, love? Join me?” he asked lightly._ _

__Natasha curled up next to her husband, lying her head on his shoulder._ _

__Bucky dropped a kiss on her temple, wrapping his right arm around her. He used his left to begin tapping on the computer, opening several searches, all concerning what they’d just experimented in._ _

__Anne looked to Doug. “Should we join them?” she asked, sounding hopeful. She loved that Doug hadn’t refused to play, that everyone had seen her taking pleasure and giving it to Nat._ _

__“Yeah,” Doug nodded and helped his wife to her feet so they could sit on the third couch._ _

__Steve nodded as the others settled in. He smiled and said, “the first thing you should know is that liking anal penetration does not make you homosexual. So get any doubts or possible worries outta your mind right now. It’s just another form of sexual stimulation. Okay?”_ _

__Anne blinked and looked at Doug, stroking his chest lightly, hoping he understood and believed Steve’s words. She’d hate the honeymoon to end and Doug to back off on exploring that part of his sensuality; he’d seemed so happy experimenting with Steve._ _

__Bucky looked up and nodded. “Wish someone had told me back in high school when you mentioned wanting to have sex, Steve. Woulda probably went for it back then.”_ _

__Doug dropped a kiss to Anne’s head and nodded, “yeah, not sure I’m gonna jump into a relationship with a guy or anything but that was incredible.”_ _

__Shaking his head, still smiling, Steve said, “exactly. Homosexuality is about love and aesthetics and interest and pleasure and so much more. It’s beyond body or sex. So, just want you to separate that right now. You can enjoy other men or women if you want to. If you want to know more about sexuality and relationships, you should look into it to find your answers, okay? Don’t hold back out of some misplaced fear. A lot more people are finding they like multiple things and some don’t like any. There’s a spectrum. Anyway, so, everyone was okay with partner swapping? Really, I want the truth here.”_ _

__“I was good with it,” Doug supplied easily, kissing Anne’s temple._ _

__Anne nodded and smiled. “Maybe not all the time, but I loved playing with everyone.” She looked at Doug and flushed. “Would you be upset if I wanted to really . . . uh . . . try another man during a . . . playdate? Is that what we should call this?” She sounded worried. “While you watched?” she dropped her voice._ _

__Kissing her temple again, Doug nodded and gave her a reassuring smile, “I’d be okay with it. I want you to be able to try whatever you want.”_ _

__“I love being watched? I always wanted to, and I love it . . .” she curled into her husband’s embrace and kissed his neck, her hand lightly caressing his pectoral._ _

__“Well then, we’ll do more of it, okay? I - - I didn’t know you wanted to try any of this stuff, Anne. I always thought you wanted to be more _traditional_ in the bedroom,” Doug admitted on a soft flush, dropping a kiss to her shoulder._ _

__She flushed and laughed softy. “I wanted to be what you needed, Doug. I thought you _were_ traditional in the bedroom.”_ _

__Steve nodded and let the pair fall into a quiet conversation while he turned to Bucky and Natasha. “And you guys? Was this playdate okay with you? Now you’re thinking clearly? Was sharing with Doug and Anne okay?”_ _

__Bucky chuckled. “You say I wasn’t thinking clearly all this time, Steve?” he teased. Seeing the serious frown forming, he realized that Steve misunderstood his playfulness. Shaking his head, Bucky said, “no, it’s fine. I actually really liked it. And,” he looked at Natasha, “the correction,” he whispered. “I push too much and don’t realize it sometimes.”_ _

__Smiling, Natasha nodded and kissed Bucky’s cheek, before looking at Steve, “I really enjoyed myself.”_ _

__Nodding, Steve smiled at his friends . . . well, now in-laws. “TJ? I want the truth. We actually played with the idea before, sort of. Now, what did you think? If never again, I can go with that, baby.”_ _

__Looking up at Steve and then over at Bucky, TJ grinned as he looked back up at his husband, “I really liked it.”_ _

__Nodding, Steve kissed TJ’s fingers one by one. “Sometimes we’re surprised by what we discover about ourselves. I enjoyed every minute of it, baby. And, might I add on right here,” he looked over at Doug, “you have an amazingly strong ass, Doug. You work out or something?”_ _

__Doug laughed and flushed; rubbing the back of his neck, he nodded, “yeah?”_ _

__“It shows,” Steve praised. He smiled back at TJ._ _

__“And you don’t mind . . . sharing me, sir?” TJ asked softly._ _

__“Lesson one, baby,” Steve smiled._ _

__“Steve Rogers owns TJ . . . Rogers?” TJ smiled at his own correction to the lesson._ _

__Nodding, kissing his husband’s palm, Steve said, “and three?”_ _

__“Only Captain says who touches TJ,” the brunet answered._ _

__“You want me to add Anne to that list, baby?” Steve asked, not clarifying who else was on the list._ _

__TJ nodded._ _

__“Then, you know my answer, don’t you?” Steve kissed again. “I loved watching you so full and happy, TJ. And I loved making sure you realize the rules still apply even on a playdate.” He grinned. “And I’ve got more ways to make sure you obey the rules.”_ _

__A shiver ran down TJ’s spine as he grinned up at Steve, “yeah?”_ _

__Nodding, still in charge of their after-play cool down discussion, Steve said, “so, now we talk about specifics, guys. No shame in backing outta something, okay? You didn’t like it, let us know so we don’t do it to you in future. Right, TJ?”_ _

__“Right,” TJ echoed on a nod._ _

__“So, anyone didn’t like something or isn’t so sure about something?” Steve prompted._ _

__As no one else seemed inclined, whether out of shyness or actually not having disliked something, Bucky called out, “yeah, me.” He met Natasha’s eyes and growled softly, “you never, once, told me that hard core binding might be as fun and not painful as soft core. Why?”_ _

__“You never asked, dear. I figured you didn’t want to experiment further and wasn’t going to push it,” Natasha shrugged softly._ _

__Jaw dropping open, Bucky couldn’t argue with her simple logic. “So, it’s not just saying what we don’t want in this play date, I’m thinking. We maybe should say what we want?”_ _

__Steve held up a hand, “we have a method for that, too. We put together a chart or document or something. Each person gets a different color. Everyone can add to the play list and each person, at any time can go mark what they want to do or try. Then, we can each see who is interested in something. If there’s a blank, say next to gags and my color initials don’t appear, then you know not to push it. However, I’ll say right now, I’m intrigued even if I never did it. So, I’m thinking we can work on the list the rest of the honeymoon, between relaxing fun days and playdates?” He looked at TJ, “and private times?”_ _

__TJ hummed and nodded, nuzzling Steve’s chest, “sounds good to me.”_ _

__Anne nodded, “I like the idea of private play as well as playdates. And that list, that’ll work very well even just with my husband when we have to leave.”_ _

__Bucky stroked his wife’s spine like he would stroke Sascha. “Go for me. Natasha? You wanna do this?”_ _

__“Yeah, sounds like fun,” Natasha agreed with a nod._ _

__“Doug?” Steve prompted. “Everyone gets a voice here. And _no_ is an acceptable answer.”_ _

__“I wanna try it. Experiment more,” Doug nodded with a smile for his wife._ _

__She nuzzled his neck and kissed lightly. “Thank you,” she whispered._ _

__Bucky flicked his fingers in the air. “So, these lessons you keep having TJ repeat. Is there some kind of book for those?”_ _

__“Nat? Wanna field the idea of rules or lessons and a dom-sub?” Steve asked, smiling._ _

__Natasha explained to the group the general idea of Steve and TJ’s lessons, making sure to state that each couple may have different lessons depending on their needs. The repetition of the lessons are usually meant to ground the person, giving them something to fall back on when they get scared or overwhelmed, and could be used outside of sex._ _

__Bucky nodded and glanced at his twin. “Yeah, I saw Steve calm TJ down with them and they weren’t playing in the bedroom.” Looking thoughtful, he slowly said, “so did you guys come up with them before you became a serious couple?”_ _

__Steve shook his head. “Some doms or subs have rules or lessons or whatever that they always want to go by. I’ve never actually written down any rules. I have a basic idea of the way I work. And, if TJ needs one, I formulate my ideas verbally for him, give him something to ground on that states our generally unspoken rules.” He stroked TJ’s cheek and neck. “I have no problem with a very long list if we need it, but right now we only have seven.” Steve snuggled his husband down closer into his side, holding him secure and warm. “Some are unique to TJ and me, though the general idea is used in many dom-sub. But there are four that are important even in a vanilla relationship.” Looking at Doug and Anne, he clarified “that means straight, one on one, sex, no real play or anything considered by many daring.”_ _

__“First and foremost, there are safewords to make sure your partners know how you feel about what you’re doing. And you need to respect the safewords, even for yourself. So, when Doug safe worded out when we were having sex, I needed to make sure he understood that he had to stay still or risk hurting himself. No one _plays_ at the safe words. _No_ means _no_ means _no_ means . . . Doug?”_ _

__“Yeah, I understand that,” Doug nodded._ _

__“Not picking on you, Doug, and that’s not the right answer.” Steve smiled, “you were supposed to say _‘no,’_. I know you got it, you lived through the intensity of it. I picked you because I was still looking at you. I think I should’ve ask Bucky. He’s got control problems.”_ _

__Bucky nodded and chuckled, not denying it. “So, _no_ means _no_. Got it. Any other general vanilla rules?”_ _

__Steve nodded, “One that makes sense to anyone when they’re thinking straight, but they might easily forget when high strung or upset. TJ, lesson seven?” He kissed his husband’s temple._ _

__“Sick gets a free pass. No one gets in trouble for being sick,” TJ said on a yawn; sex always drained him and he’d had a lot of it that day._ _

__Bucky’s jaw dropped open then shut slowly, surprised it would need to be clarified. But then he nodded, “yeah, when I’m sick, I feel like I did something wrong . . . I get maybe needing a rule about it being okay to get sick.”_ _

__Steve noticed the yawn. “You can sleep if you want. We’re about to talk toys.”_ _

__Nodding, TJ curled up and nuzzled against Steve’s chest until he found a comfortable spot. He let his eyes close and within several moments it was clear he’d fallen asleep._ _

__Smiling, love shining from his eyes, his entire being practically glowing with it, Steve dropped a kiss on TJ’s head then settled down, too. “When we use toys, we need to clean them very carefully and put them away properly. Also, before playdates, an enema is advisable. Helps keeps things clean.” He looked at his family and friends. “That clear? We’ll share our toys, if you help take good care of them. No diseases, no infections. But no shame if you aren’t clean. Just don’t play bare. I hope we didn’t accidentally spread anything? Me and TJ are clean, we got tested for our marriage . . . and before.”_ _

__“I’ve never had a . . . problem,” Anne flushed. “And I was cleared during my most recent physical.” She looked at Doug._ _

__Natasha nodded, “same with me.”_ _

__“Natasha makes sure we get regular tests, even though we never played outside the marriage before. I just went with it because it seemed harmless to keep checking. Gonna make sure not to miss any future appointments now I know it’s definitely important,” Bucky smiled at his wife, thankful she’d gotten him in the habit._ _

__“I’m clean, as well,” Doug nodded._ _

__“That’s right, you had your physical recently and had everything checked.” Anne smiled happily and hugged her husband._ _

__Steve smiled. “Good. So, as long as you take care to keep them clean and put away, you guys can play with our stuff. Feel free to ask if you need advice or help. And I even brought my knot tying guide if you’re interested in sharpening your skills. But right now, I’m gonna put my good boy to bed then come out and clean things up. If you keep playing, you clean up when you’re done.” Steve stood and bent to scoop up TJ. He carried his husband to their bedroom._ _

__Bucky said, “I’m gonna clean up my mess, I promise. But Phil needs a walk. Anyone wanna take him?”_ _

__“I’ll go,” Doug offered, “be nice to get some fresh air.”_ _

__“I’ll go, too, and clean litter afterwards,” Anne offered happily. She peeled herself from the pleasure of her husband’s embrace and rooted through the disarray to find her skirt and top, pulling them on without underthings. She slid her feet into her short heels._ _

__Bucky grinned and kissed Natasha. He got up and began to help Steve, both men totally nude and flaccid and quite comfortable in such a state with one another, something that had ended in their teen years previously, but now seemed to get back on track._ _


	17. Things Change

A few days later, TJ was still curled under the warm comforter even though it was nearing noon. Everyone had been up late the night before due to another intense _playdate_ and it was the day that Steve had said they’d be going into the town a few miles from the lodge. TJ didn’t want to go; he was happy in their cabin where he knew someone wouldn’t hurt him or yell at him. Steve had made sure to take him on walks around the lake everyday but this would be the first time the group went into town.

Steve opened the door and smiled softly. He already had Phil on a leash. Dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a soft flannel button down, Steve stepped over to the bed. “Wear your light blue shirt with your softest loungers, baby,” he instructed as if TJ wasn’t cowering in their bed.

TJ shook his head, curling up tighter as if he’d disappear into the mattress if he got small enough.

Nodding, Steve walked over to the bed and sank down, tugging the comforter off his husband. “I have a present for you arriving today and you only get it if you go to town with me to pick it up.”

“I - - I don’t . . . wanna go, Steve,” TJ murmured.

“Are you afraid?” Steve asked gently.

“Yes,” TJ answered honestly, releasing a shaky breath.

“Good boy. Thank you for telling me.” Steve leaned over and kissed his husband. “What scares you more than anything out there?”

“I . . . I know it’s stupid . . . b - - but I keep thinking someone is go - -” TJ snapped his mouth shut as Steve interrupted.

“Wait? Did you say stupid? Did TJ Rogers really say he was being stupid?” Steve frowned and shook his head. “Who owns TJ?” he said firmly.

“Steve Rogers,” TJ answered softly.

“And who decides if TJ is good or bad or stupid?” Steve prompted, slipping in the last word into their normal mantra.

“Steve Rogers,” TJ looked up at Steve.

“And, TJ, pet, has Steve ever said any of TJ’s fears were stupid?” Steve asked, leaning closer.

TJ shook his head, “no, sir.”

“Good boy,” Steve kissed TJ’s shoulder. “So, start again. What scares you the most out there?”

“I - - I keep thinking someone is going to hurt me again?” TJ flushed.

Nodding, Steve stroked TJ’s hip. “That’s certainly not a stupid fear, baby. That’s perfectly normal. I still think people are gonna hurt me, too.” He met his husband’s eyes. “What do you think of my mind, TJ?”

“Your mind, sir?” TJ looked confused, brows furrowed.

“Yes, what do you think of my intelligence. The truth, baby, you won’t get in trouble for answering truthfully.” Steve kissed his shoulder again.

“You’re smart, sir,” TJ said.

“Thank you.” Steve smiled gently. “And my body?”

“I like your body, Captain, it’s beautiful,” TJ answered, looking at his husband, trying to gauge where this line of questioning was going.

“And my strength? Physically?” Seve asked, dropping another rewarding kiss to TJ’s shoulder.

“You’re very strong, sir,” TJ nodded.

“And how strong my personality is? My ability to command?” Steve prompted as if this conversation was standard between them.

“It’s . . . good, sir?” TJ answered, he still had no idea where this was going but he figured it distracted him slightly from his fears so went with it.

“So, I am smart and pretty and strong and reasonably able to make commands?” Steve summed up the question and answer session.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, offering a small, unsure smile to Steve.

“So, does TJ think Steve can protect him physically?” Steve kissed TJ’s shoulder again.

Finally, the questions seemed to make sense and TJ nodded, “yes, sir, you can protect me.”

“And does TJ think Steve will let anyone yell at TJ without stopping them?” Steve asked with another soft kiss.

“No, sir, you’d stop anyone from yelling at me,” TJ confirmed with a soft smile.

“So, what is TJ afraid of out there?” Steve smiled back at his lover and husband.

“Nothing as long as you’re with me, sir,” TJ looked a bit more sure of himself, a little less afraid.

“And do you think, TJ, that your Captain is going to leave your side? Even if Captain has to pee he’s taking you in with him. I don’t get into golden showers, but I’d rather you be safe.” Steve stroked TJ’s shoulder and kissed again.

“You won’t leave me, sir,” TJ smiled.

“Never, my love, my good boy. I will never leave you. You need me, and I need you. You may be womb-mates with Bucky, but you’re my _soul_ mate, TJ.” He inadvertently repeated Anne’s observation from the first night together.

Smiling wider, TJ pushed up and kissed Steve’s lips, feeling more secure, safe in his husband’s arms.

“So, baby, who knows how to care for TJ Rogers?” Steve smiled and touched foreheads.

“Steve Rogers,” TJ breathed.

“So, ready to go get your present, babydoll?” Steve asked.

Releasing a deep breath, TJ nodded and slipped out of the bed. He got dressed in the outfit Steve had said earlier, feeling better in his comfortable clothes. The soft material of his pants felt good on his skin and he turned to look at Steve, finally taking in the blond’s outfit, “I like the flannel, sir. Makes you look like a sexy lumberjack.”

Laughing, throwing his head back, Steve nodded. “Just got it, actually, yesterday when I went to town. You really like it? Feels soft . . .” he said in a tempting, teasing tone.

“Yeah?” TJ smiled, looking at the shirt as he took a step forward, “may I feel it, sir?”

“I order you to,” Steve breathed out.

Mewling, TJ nodded and ran both hands down the soft flannel, over Steve’s firm chest. His hands traced over every bump and ridge of Steve’s torso, caressing the soft material, “Oh, sir . . . it _is_ soft!”

“Let’s go take Phil to town, pet,” Steve cooed, slipping his arm around TJ’s waist and scooping up the puppy’s leash again. “Someday I’ll have a leash for you so I can walk you to town in style, love.”

“I’d like that, sir,” TJ purred against the shell of Steve’s ear, nipping slightly at the earlobe.

They had already agreed not to let TJ wear his expensive collar out of the cabin, in case of theft in the unfamiliar location, so Steve had locked it in the cabin’s safe. Instead, he gestured to the small box of collars they had. “Get your metal heart choker, love. Can’t go out nude.”

TJ grabbed his original outdoor choker and fastened it around his neck, slightly above Bucky’s collar.

Doug and Anne were taking the day to themselves, so it’d only be Steve, Bucky, TJ and Natasha going into town that day, Bucky saying he, too, had something coming in the mail, as did Natasha. They took the shuttle that the lodge offered to get to and from town. TJ stayed close to Steve, trying to tamp down his nerves. Across from them on the shuttle, TJ looked at Bucky; they hadn’t had sex since the wedding night, only sharing kisses or quick touches. TJ feared that Bucky had changed his mind and didn’t want to be intimate with him anymore now that he and Steve were married.

Bucky smiled at TJ, unaware of his brother’s lack of self-confidence at the moment. He couldn’t help but get hard every time he recalled filling TJ so full, his brother’s sounds and movements . . . his utter lack of control. But, Bucky didn’t want to push TJ. He didn’t want to interrupt Steve and TJ’s _honeymoon_ after all.

A plan began to form in TJ’s mind to determine if his brother was still okay with the group relationship. As the shuttle pulled to a stop, Steve and TJ let Bucky and Nat exit in front of them. As TJ stepped out of the shuttle, close to Bucky, he let his fingers brush over his twin’s lower back. He figured this plan would work for him in two ways: it’d keep him distracted from worrying about being back in public and would help show him if Bucky wanted things to continue between them. 

Bucky drew a breath in at the touch and glanced at Natasha. He lifted a brow and smiled at his wife. He was a bit surprised at the frisky behavior but welcomed it, no clue it had really been TJ touching him in such a pleasurable caress. It seemed odd that it would be Natasha, though; the pair often hugged but tender or suggestive caresses had never been part of their public image. Intimacy between them had been a long time in coming after their own marriage, and seemed strained yet again. Bucky had hoped that they could use the trip to work through whatever had turned Natasha aloof once more; she was caring and sexual, but seemed to be emotionally distant.

Natasha smirked as she saw TJ’s secret touch, though her husband seemed completely unaware of who exactly it was touching him. Over the last few days, Natasha had been more reserved, almost distracted, even during the group play the night before.

Steve smiled to see TJ’s touch of Bucky’s back. He knew his best friend would catch on soon, but for now, the chase, the teasing would keep TJ focused on something other than fear. Once they were totally off the transport, Steve said, “walk around the green? There’s a beautiful Japanese style pagoda over a small footbridge in the middle . . .”

TJ nodded, falling back to Steve’s side; he smirked at his brother, a lustful, mischievous glint in his eyes.

“He is so deliciously distracted, isn’t he, pet?” Steve whispered in TJ’s ear. “Need to free him, baby.”

Licking his lips, TJ nodded, “yes, sir.”

As they walked towards the town green and the promised Japanese footbridge, TJ would sneak in small, light touches. Nothing that would suggest anything inappropriate to a stranger, but enough to stimulate the skin under his fingers.

After about the third touch, Bucky suddenly realized it wasn’t Natasha touching him. He blinked and refused to look back behind him. Was it TJ? Or was Steve practicing his coming out? Bucky refused to turn and embarrass Steve so he swallowed and wondered, his cock filling in his boxers. He let out a small needy whimper that was only caught by his wife.

“Shush, now, dear,” Nat cooed gently, she leaned closer to whisper, tone a bit distant, “his touch feels good, doesn’t it, my needy husband?” She didn’t clarify _who_ was touching him.

Nodding, Bucky stopped his next whimper in his throat, choking it back. Whispering, he said, “wanna go back and fill him . . .” He figured it was Steve, but Bucky didn’t mind a chance at feeling those strong ass muscles squeezing him. He’d rather it be his delicate, pretty brother . . . something about TJ just continually called to him. A small stab of guilt wormed it’s way through his distraction: he should be desiring his lovely wife, too, but his interest in Natasha seemed heighten usually by their group sex, not one on one . . . not since he’d discovered intimacy with his twin and Steve.

They made it to the beautiful footbridge and just as Bucky turned to look at Natasha, fingers brushed up and under the hem of his shirt before pulling away quickly. By the time Bucky had a chance to look at Steve and TJ, they were both innocently looking at the pretty space around them, though Steve had a smile of of mischief on his face, eyes dancing.

Bucky let loose a small whimper, eyeing the couple. His light colored eyes trailed inevitably to TJ and the tip of Bucky’s tongue darted out to wet his lips.

TJ caught the look out of the corner of his eye and his plush lips curled into a sly smirk. He purposely leaned over the railing, giving his brother a good look at his ass, and exclaimed with a smile, “Steve, look! Koi!”

Steve nodded and let his hand trail down his husband’s back to his ass, squeezing one globe as Bucky watched. “Pretty . . . and look how wide they can get their mouths . . .” Steve commented, loud enough for the other couple to overhear.

Natasha smiled slightly, knowing that Steve was aiding his husband in TJ’s quest of exciting Bucky. Something she noticed she’d been having a hard time doing herself in the last few weeks. “You see the pretty fish, James?”

Glancing at the fish, Bucky nodded. “Yeah,” he answered breathlessly. The idea that Steve had been touching him in public and could act as if he’d never laid a hand on him . . . Bucky’s jeans were extremely tight and he had to adjust himself or risk intense pain. “Post office?” he breathed out, wanting nothing more than to just get to home.

“Wanna head to the post office, sir?” TJ asked innocently.

“Yes, I think you’ve earned your present,” Steve smiled and dropped a kiss on TJ’s lips, right there in the middle of the village green, on the bridge where anyone could see.

Bucky whimpered, wanting to kiss those plush lips, too . . . TJ’s more than Steve’s. Would it be so wrong if he impaled TJ’s ass while he fed on Steve’s large member? Bucky had to bury that decadent image quickly.

Natasha linked her arm through Bucky’s left, dragging him away from the bridge and his thoughts. “Come, dear,” she called softly. Just as Natasha turned Bucky and began walking him away, a light, lingering touch ghosted over the skin of Bucky’s lower back, right over the hem of his jeans.

Bucky whimpered again. “Can we skip mail?” he begged, voice breaking a bit.

“No, dear, we came out all this way to pick up your package, remember? And have a nice, _long_ lunch with your brother and his husband,” Natasha answered, seeming unaware, or uncaring, of Bucky’s desperate noises.

“Long?” Bucky groaned and dragged his bottom lip in between his teeth. “Don’t think I can . . .”

“Why not?” TJ asked, suddenly stepping up right beside Bucky as another touch caressed down Bucky’s opposite side, the side Natasha walked by.

“God,” Bucky groaned. “Gonna embarrass us all, Teej. Too needy today.” He rolled his eyes at Steve who hovered close, hand extended a bit.

“Oh,” TJ drawled, a look of complete, utter innocence on his face, “I get it. I get like that, too, sometimes. Sometimes,” TJ leaned over to whisper in Bucky’s ear, “I just gotta have someone fill me so full, ya know?” He pulled back and smiled at his twin as if he had been discussing the weather.

“About to bend someone over, Teej,” Bucky moaned.

“In the post office?” Steve asked as if he knew exactly what he was doing to Bucky.

“Kinky,” TJ quipped and stepped into the post office, smiling at a stranger who was walking out. Apparently, torturing his brother had made TJ completely forget about his fears of walking around town with a bunch of strangers. The lean brunet looked happy, relaxed.

Steve smiled over at Natasha and winked. He stroked deliberately over TJ’s butt then moved his hand up to the small of his back as if correcting his _accidental_ behavior. Bucky whimpered again, dragging his eyes from his brother’s ass. Bucky leaned close to Natasha and breathed “I’m so bad, I want them both, doll . . . all three of you,” he amended.

“Us three?” Natasha smirked, though the expression didn’t quite meet her emerald eyes, “you don’t want that sweet boy all to yourself for an evening?” Natasha hoped that after TJ had been teasing Bucky all day that the twins would keep themselves occupied while she finally took Steve up on his offer from the first night. She really wanted to explore the opportunity with another male lover.

“My God, Nat . . . TJ’s been . . . he . . .” Bucky groaned and dropped his face into her shoulder. “I need him?” he whispered softly.

“I know, my dear, hold on just until after lunch, okay? Then you can bend him over the first surface you see in the cabin and fill him full,” Nat whispered back, dropping a kiss to Bucky’s head.

“Not without his permission! I don’t care how much Steve’s fuckin’ teasin’ me! I won’t use my brother on his honeymoon without invitation!” Bucky frowned and shifted, pulling away to growl his name at the post master so he could get his rather large package.

Natasha laughed sweetly, “oh, yes. We wouldn’t want to use our little one, would we?”

Steve received his own package and smiled. Turning to TJ, he said, “get nude, love.”

Looking slightly confused, TJ did as he asked and accepted Steve’s key, taking off the heart collar. He looked up at Steve as he let the collar dangle by his side. He watched as Steve opened the box and revealed two very different collar and leash sets. One was made completely of pearls and gold links, completely elegant. The other was a black leather one with bright purple rhinestones and a sparkling purple on black leather leash. “Sir?”

“Leather day?” Steve asked as he took the suggested collar and leash from the box. He kissed TJ, in front of the other customers and clerks, and fastened the collar on his husband, his wedding ring catching the light. Smiling, Steve linked the leash to the small hoop and gave a very light tug. “Check in, baby,” he purred. The collar and leash set above TJ twin collar and didn’t tug on the other piece of jewelry uncomfortably. Rather, it snugly hit the other collar, almost as if purposely reminding TJ of Bucky’s possession.

“Oh, green, sir!” TJ breathed, beaming brightly.

Bucky whined slightly. “They look so happy, doll,” he breathed, happy but aching. “And neither look like they care what the world thinks.”

“They do,” Natasha agreed, but her eyes were looking down at an envelope in her hands, “it’s nice to see them both so happy.” She looked troubled and excited all at the same time; she appeared to be debating opening the letter or not.

Bucky licked his lips. “Maybe we shoulda played years ago, doll. I don’t know what to do. I want you all . . .” He looked at her. “I _love you_ . . . but I wanna fuck everyone in that cabin.” Bucky felt a bit of guilt at the sudden realization that the love he felt for his wife wasn’t the same as the love he felt for TJ and Steve . . . it felt less vibrant, though still a bond he’d die to protect.

“No one is stopping you,” Natasha said gently; she didn’t look up, still staring at the envelope, though she flipped the letter over to examine the backside which had a drawing of an arrow and nothing else on it.

“Don’t wanna _use_ TJ. It’s _his_ honeymoon,” Bucky looked back at Steve and TJ, wrapped in happiness and love.

“Ask him first, then?” She didn’t want to give away TJ just yet, allowing the smaller brunet his fun and games for a little while longer.

“He hasn’t . . . Nat,” Bucky whimpered and pushed into his wife’s side. “He has barely kissed me the last coupla days.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that . . .” Nat said cryptically before turning to the newlyweds, “want lunch, lovebirds? Bucky’s quite ravished.”

“God, yes,” Bucky moaned. He blinked as he realized Natasha had an envelope. Smiling, glad for the very temporary distraction, Bucky bumped Natasha’s shoulder. “Oh, secret admirer?”

Natasha finally looked up at Bucky and there was a quick flash of guilt in her eyes; had Bucky not been looking at her, he easily could’ve missed the expression. She slid the envelope in her purse and said nothing.

Bucky let his smile fade but didn’t challenge Natasha over the odd behavior. Instead he cleared his throat, looked at the other couple, and said, “lunch . . . need lunch . . .”

Steve nodded, holding the leash loose and easy, showing everyone what a good boy his husband was. He didn’t need to crawl or walk on a tight lead. TJ was a very good boy. Steve smiled. “Lunch, babydoll.”

“Yes, please, sir,” TJ grinned; the smaller brunet seemed unaware of the tension between his twin and Natasha.

Nodding, sensing TJ wanted a bit of controlling to go with the new public leash, Steve said, “and you can only eat after you feed me, bite for bite. Understand?”

“Oh, yes, I understand, sir,” TJ keened, nodding his understanding of the order.

The four of them walked to a small bistro near the center of town.

Bucky turned to head for the bathroom after putting his box on the floor by their table. Steve chuckled softly, “gonna do some heavy thinkin’, Buck?” he teased, answered only by Bucky’s low moan.

“You are just _using the restroom_ , right, James? Nothing else in mind?” Natasha asked, knowing that she was expected to keep up the public play.

Bucky groaned and turned right back around to sink awkwardly in his seat. He muttered, “don’t gotta go after all.”

Steve pulled the chair out for TJ to sit then pushed it into the table. He looped his wrist in the leash handle, loose enough for TJ to comfortably move a bit, but still pulled tight enough to have to sit absolutely close.

TJ leaned against Steve’s side, looking happy and content. He didn’t even bother looking at the menu, knowing Steve would be ordering for him. He looked across the table at his brother, pale eyes watching Bucky closely.

Bucky squirmed, causing a bit of friction with his jeans against his cock. He checked the menu and shook his head. “Whatever you want, Nat . . .” he groaned softly.

“Alright, dear,” Natasha agreed, almost flatly, looking down at the menu, once again seeming unbothered by her husband’s desperation.

A foot brushed against Bucky’s ankle, traveling up for only a brief moment before pulling away.

Bucky drew in a breath and looked directly at Steve with a soft frown. “Steve,” he growled low, “stop it.”

“Nope,” Steve said. “I refuse to stop what I am doing. Deal with it, Buck. You know you’re aching for it.”

Another caress traveled up Bucky’s calf, all the way up to his knee before dropping away again.

“Steve,” Bucky whined, shifting, wishing he’s worn tighter jeans so he could just get off . . . he was about to the point of uncaring about telltale stains afterwards. “Least ya could do is tend me under the table or somethin’,” he whimpered.

“You want a blow job under the table?” Steve clarified, low but clear. He reached over and stroked TJ’s curls, drawing Bucky’s attention. Fearing TJ would _get ordered_ to do something he'd rather not, Bucky shook his head, wanting TJ to feel free to enjoy his honeymoon concentrating on his new spouse. “No, no . . . m’good.”

“Sure, Buck?” TJ purred low, leaning over the table as much as the leash would let him go. Another caress traveled from Bucky’s ankle, past his knee and then the foot settled on his thigh, “Sure that’s what you want?”

Bucky looked at TJ with lust darkening eyes. “What I want,” he growled, “is to throw you over the table and fuck you until you scream.” He shook his head.

Humming, the foot keeping a steady pressure on Bucky’s inner thigh, TJ looked at Steve and purred, “that does sound quite exciting, doesn’t it, sir?”

“I think it sounds delightful, baby,” Steve cooed back. “Maybe once we’re done here? Don’t wanna spill my food.”

“Sound good to you, Buck?” TJ asked low, lips pulled into a seductive smirk.

“God,” Bucky let his head drop back, exposing his neck. His needy whine mirrored the complete desire in his eyes. “I swear, I’m gonna grab my tormentor and fuck him so hard when we get back!” He glared down to the toes in his lap and blinked, slow understanding, recognition, coming over him. “TJ . . .” he whined.

“That a promise, baby brother?” TJ purred, pale eyes dancing with mischief and lust.

Eyes snapping up to meet TJ’s, Bucky captured his bottom lip and tugged it into his mouth then let it go. He reached under the table and moved his twin’s foot, by the ankle, to his crotch, right over his straining dick. “Want ya right now . . .” he growled.

“Sir says we gotta wait,” TJ answered with a smile, pressing down against the clothed erection.

Bucky’s hips canted right off the chair and he shoved his napkin into his mouth to muffle the long, low, needy tone from his throat. He pushed against that questing foot, seeking the friction, the pressure . . . the eventual release. “Don’t wanna wait,” he complained, but he drew a shaky breath and reached down to remove TJ’s foot from his sac and shaft. “When’re they gonna feed us?” he growled irritably.

It only took a few more minutes for the food to be brought out. As Steve had ordered, TJ fed Steve a bite and then himself, alternating back and forth. While they ate, TJ didn’t tease his twin, focused completely on his husband.

Smiling in approval, Steve chewed happily at the wonderful food. He waited until his husband finished chewing before parting his lips in silent cue to be fed another bite.

For his part, Bucky let out a relieved breath and began to eat, his erection so hard, he felt like he would burst, but he would wait. TJ had hinted, apparently playing with him all day, and Bucky intended fully on throwing his brother over any surface and plowing into him. He hoped TJ wore an anal plug, like usual, so he didn’t have to wait.

The four of them ate their lunches, TJ not once touching Bucky after he’d been revealed as the tormentor. They didn’t do anymore shopping after lunch, walking straight to the stop where the shuttle would pick them up to take them back to the cabin.

Bucky kept his hands occupied with the still closed box, his mind going back over the day and each and every touch, drawing another whimper or pulsing from each naughty thought.

TJ spent the entire shuttle ride nuzzling against Steve’s side, kissing the skin of his husband’s neck.

Steve kept his hand wrapped loosely in the leash handle, smiling and allowing his pet to nuzzle him and love him. He murmured, “my precious, sweet, good boy.”

“I did good today, sir,” TJ whispered, lips still on Steve’s neck, “didn’t feel anxious at all, sir!”

“I know, baby, so brave, so good. Glad we went out?” Steve smiled proudly, kissing TJ’s temple.

“Yes, sir, thank you,” TJ murmured, he turned his head to glance over at Bucky, watching his needy, desperate twin.

Once the van pulled up to the cabin, Bucky stood and said, “Nat, after you, doll.” He didn’t look at TJ, his voice deep and strained.

Natasha nodded and stood before stepping out of the van before her husband. She had pulled out the letter sometime during the shuttle ride back and had started fiddling with it again.

Bucky stepped out and strode into the cabin. He put the box down by the door and began stripping immediately, not caring that Anne and Doug sat merely holding hands in front of the fireplace. He was aching, purple, and leaking profusely.

Doug turned to welcome the rest of the group back and his eyes widened, “Bucky?”

Steve lead TJ from the van and into the cabin, smiling. Unfastening the leash, Steve patted TJ’s ass. “Better do what you promised, my love.”

Grinning, TJ gave Steve a kiss before heading towards the front door of the cabin. He walked through the front door and smiled at Doug and Anne, acting as if he didn’t see his twin stripping. “Heya, Dougie, Anne!” TJ beamed.

Bucky turned and growled low. He stalked over to TJ and turned him around, pulling down his pants and caressing his ass. “Tease me all day!” He pushed him over the hard table and reached down to wiggle the anal plug from him. Fortunately, Steve hurried over with lube to pour on Bucky’s hand. He stared at it as if uncomprehending then groaned and greased himself up before lining up at TJ’s passage. “Gonna fuck you so hard you scream!”

TJ keened and pushed his hips back against Bucky’s member that was teasing his entrance. “Yes . . .”

Sliding in carefully, surprising seeing how needy his was, Bucky bottomed out. He took one breath then began thrusting, hard, in and out of TJ’s well oiled and open passage. “Damn . . . need this so much . . . need _you_ , TJ . . .”

Steve set his box on the other side of the table, smiling over at Doug and Anne. “How was today?”

TJ moaned loud and low, breaths already coming out in needy pants as Bucky pounded into him over and over again. His hands scrambled to find purchase on the table.

Steve smiled at the twins then back to the other couple. “What you’re witnessing is a failure to communicate, as I warned. Now, they’ll pay for that oversight.” He strode over to pick up Bucky’s box and set it on a chair. “Should I open it, Nat? Or you wanna wait?”

“You can open it,” Natasha nodded; she had trailed behind the others and only just entered the cabin, looking down at the letter in her hands. She looked up and eyed the twins for a moment. They really were beautiful together, so similar yet so vastly different. A matched set.

Steve nodded and opened the postal box, pulling back the flaps and smiling wide. “Looks like Bucky’s been doing some toy shopping. And he replenished our cleaning and enema supplies. Good boy, Buck.”

“Damn right, I’m good. Say it, Teej. Tell me how good I am.” He continued his deep, hard thrusts, tangling his left hand in TJ’s curls while the right steadied on his brother’s hipbone.

Keening as Bucky’s fingers wrapped in his hair, TJ grunted out between thrusts, “you’re good, Buck . . . so, so good.” His own member was trapped between himself and the table, Bucky’s pounding hitting it against the solid wood over and over again.

Steve looked over to judge the twins’ needs, knowing Bucky was too far gone to realize if he was hurting his brother. Bucky was not a trained dom and didn’t know how to keep control of himself. “Check in, TJ,” Steve called.

“Y - - yellow, sir,” TJ mewled out, worried that Bucky’s thrusting would bruise his member with the table.

Nodding, Steve instantly walked over and slid his hand in front of TJ’s cock and balls.  
“Better or still yellow?” Steve took the force of the hits on his hand instead.

“Be - - better, sir . . .” TJ whimpered, gasping and keening.

“Say your words, baby,” Steve cooed and lifted his other hand to wave in the air. “Nat? Help here.” He did not tell Bucky to back off, simply waiting for Nat to get involved and do something.

Natasha stepped over, slipping the letter in her back pocket, and ran a finger down Bucky’s spine.

Bucky slowed instantly, and buried his face in TJ’s shoulder, his awareness coming back a bit. “Sorry,” he breathed, “TJ,” he continued to thrust but at a toned down force, “okay, brother?”

“Yeah . . . green,” TJ nodded, looking at Steve and giving his husband another nod.

“Nat tell Bucky how to do this so no one gets hurt,” Steve advised, trying to let Bucky get in the habit of listening to Nat. He kept his hand in the way, letting TJ’s member grind into his strong, calloused palm with each stroke.

Running a nail down Bucky’s spine again, Natasha said, “control, James. I know he was teasing you but you have to have control. You don’t want to hurt him or yourself, right?”

“No, no hurt,” Bucky agreed. “Sorry. Sorry . . . TJ. Missed you so much . . .”

“Do you want to move him someplace where there is a less likeliness of injury, James?” Natasha asked softly.

“Wanna move this to a bed, Teej?” Bucky asked, almost breathless.

TJ nodded, “oh - - yes . . .”

“You hate me?” Bucky whimpered.

Steve chuckled. “The correct question is _check in_ , Buck. TJ doesn’t hate you, do you baby?”

“No - - no, sir!” TJ gasped out.

“Bucky, gonna pull out of TJ. Then we’ll get you to a bed.” Steve smiled and used his free hand to stroke TJ’s curls.

Bucky whimpered at the idea of pulling from his brother. Now that his initial blind anger and excitement were over, and he had slowed enough to feel TJ, he wanted to stay inside and love him right.

“C’mon, James,” Natasha purred, trying to keep herself in the moment, running her nail down Bucky’s back once more, “just for a moment. I know you can do it.”

“‘Kay, sorry, Teej. Gonna make it better.” Bucky pulled carefully out of his brother and dropped to his knees to quickly lap at his brother’s passage and taint before backing off.

As soon as the weight off his back was lifted, TJ whimpered and keened, his knees buckling.

Steve stroked his husband’s hair and caught TJ before he could stumble. “Gotcha, baby. Wanna be carried?”

“Yes, sir, please?” TJ keened.

“Want Bucky to carry you, baby?” Steve asked softly.

“C - - can he?” TJ looked over at Bucky with lust hazed eyes.

Bucky looked up. “Yeah, I can lift Steve. I’ve done it before.” Bucky pushed to his feet, eager to prove to his brother that he wasn’t all about _hurting_ TJ. He really wanted to love and enjoy their time with each other. “May I carry you, Teej? Please?”

Smiling, TJ nodded, “please?”

Nodding, Bucky ran his hands down TJ’s back and hips. “Take good care of you. Give me another chance, Teej?” he pleaded. Bucky stooped down and slid his right arm under his twin’s legs and curled his left arm around TJ’s back, the limb gripping tightly a bit since it had a permanent curve to it. He hefted his brother not as smoothly as Steve, but showing he was equally strong, his workouts not wasted. Bucky kissed TJ’s neck. “My room, TJ? Or your’s?”

“No,” Steve chuckled softly. “Bucky, tell him which room you’re choosing. TJ doesn’t get a choice. _You_ need to be the leader here, make TJ know he’s secure by making the decisions about simple things like rooms and positions for him.”

Nodding, Bucky said, “my room.” He began to carry TJ in that direction.

TJ keened and nuzzled at Bucky’s neck, kissing and nipping at the flesh, “missed you . . . you make me feel whole . . .”

“Shoulda said something to you. Sorry, TJ, won’t make that mistake again.” He nuzzled his twin’s temple. “You make me feel complete, TJ. Gonna love you right.” Suddenly, his eyes lit up. “Oh, got a toy for you, too. A present, Teej!”

Steve smiled and began going through his best friend’s package. Finally, his hand fell on the one thing that looked like it might not be for Nat playtime. “I’ll wash it and bring it in, guys. You get comfortable and do what Natasha tells you to.” Steve took the brand new toy from its container and began to clean it properly.

Bucky nodded and carried TJ to his bed, easing him onto the comfortable surface.

TJ didn’t let go of Bucky’s neck, not wanting to lose one more moment with his brother. TJ canted his hips up and keened needily.

Steve brought the toy in and handed it to Bucky, who smiled. He lubed it up and he leaned over to lap at TJ’s still open and slightly abused passage. “Wanna play with the toy, TJ? Think you’ll like it . . .”

Back arching as Bucky’s tongue lapped at his entrance, TJ nodded and cried out, “yes . . . I wanna play with it, Buck! Please?”

Nodding, Bucky placed the stiff, yet flexible, silicone anal plug he’d purchased against TJ’s passage. Lapping around his twin’s hole, he slid the toy inside his brother until he had it seated all the way, the flange preventing accidentally going too far. “How’s that feel? Check in, TJ,” Bucky breathed out.

“Oh - -” TJ mewled, grinding against the toy deep inside him, “green, Buck. Green . . .”

Nodding, Bucky eased his own member in through the tight silicone opening of the multi-functioning plug. It made Bucky feel fatter, fuller inside TJ. “How’s that, brother mine? Full enough for you?” he groaned out as he bottomed out inside the toy, his angle making it bump and slide across TJ’s prostate.

Moaning, TJ’s back arched and his hands fisted at the comforter, he cried out as the plug brushed against his prostate. “Yes . . . so full, Buck. So, so full . . . you’re so good, so, so good.”

“Hoped you let me use this in you, Teej,” Bucky moaned. He curled over his brother’s back in a protective hug, using his hands to tug TJ’s hips back and flush with his pelvis. “Now, can I fuck you into this mattress, big brother?”

“Yes, yes . . . green, Buck . . .” TJ moaned.

Looking to Natasha for guidance, Bucky asked, “Can I fuck him hard?”

“He said green, James, trust that he knows what he wants,” Natasha said reassuringly from the chair she sat in that was set up in the corner of the room, though her tone still sounded a bit distracted.

“And I won’t hurt him up here . . .” he asked, stroking in and out smoothly and deeply.

Steve called out, “TJ, what happens if Bucky starts hurting you again?”

“I say _yellow_ or if it’s too bad I say _red_ , sir,” TJ reported on a breathless moan.

“Got that, Buck? If you can’t listen to the code, you can’t fuck my husband. He’s _mine_. I say who touches him.” Steve ended on a warning growl.

Nodding, Bucky stroked his fingers at TJ’s hipbones. “Ready? Gonna fuck you like you deserve for all that teasing . . .” Bucky promised, as if there had been no interlude to control their loveplay. He began thrusting hard and deep, not fast, just concentrating on really pounding his twin, the silicone and lube causing a bit more slide then Bucky’s natural hard velvety flesh.

Groaning, TJ met Bucky’s rhythm easily, his mouth hung open in a silent scream of pleasure.

Steve’s smile widened as he watch the pure joy on TJ’s face. He reached down and stroked his own enlarging tool. “Beautiful, aren’t they, Natasha?” he asked.

Humming, Natasha nodded, “we have a matched set, Steve.”

“Yeah, and I do love to see them play nicely together.” He turned his smile down on the petite redhead who barely came up to his shoulder. “You guys still interested in all of use getting a house together somewhere?”

Natasha nodded, looking at the twins and then up at Steve, “we can’t separate them, now. Bucky and I have been talking about moving for a while anyways.”

“Good, I know TJ wants a house and he really loves having his friends and family around. So, I know he’s looking forward to you guys joining us, and Doug and Anne when they can come up.” Steve stroked again and looked over at the twins “I think they finally found themselves, Nat. They genuinely seem happier than a week ago. And I don’t feel jealous in the least. Odd?”

Shaking her head, Natasha smiled at Steve, “what they have is a different type of love than what you and TJ have . . . and you know that. You know Bucky has no interest in _stealing_ TJ from you. He just wants to be with TJ.”

“I think after awhile, they’ll even calm down a bit and move into that loving cuddles with occasional sex and exciting playdates,” Steve chuckled.

“They’ll calm down. Right now everything is so new and fresh for them. I mean, they just got reunited a little over a month ago.”

“I know. And they look to be made for this. We need to teach Bucky. He’s gonna get himself or TJ hurt with his enthusiasm. You like a bit of hard pounding, huh?” Steve smiled down at her. “You and Bucky were hoping to rekindle this honeymoon?” Steve asked softy.

Natasha sighed softly and looked at Steve, that same flash of guilt flashed in her eyes, “I had been hoping . . .” she looked back at the twins and then at Steve again.

“Bucky married you to give you safety . . . you’ve gone beyond needing that protection, haven't you, babygirl?” Steve stroked her hair gently, no condemnation in his voice.

“I - - I don’t want to hurt him, Steve,” Natasha said softly, not wanting to risk Bucky overhearing. “He’s never looked at me like the way he looks at TJ . . . or even you,” she looked back down at the letter in her hands with a soft frown.

“Natasha,” Steve eased to a squat, getting on level with the seated Natasha, “Bucky wants you happy and safe. If you’re unhappy, he’ll want to fix that. Will staying with him make you happy?”

Chewing her bottom lip for a few moments, Natasha didn’t say anything as she continued to look at the little arrow drawn on the envelope. “No,” she said after awhile, “no, I don’t think so.”

“You found someone who’s been making you happy, babygirl?” Steve asked Natasha gently, putting a hand over one of her’s.

“Yes,” she breathed out; Natasha lifted her eyes to meet Steve’s, “h - - he looks at me like you look at TJ and Bucky, Steve. I - - I . . . he makes me happy . . .” she moved her eyes to look at Bucky before quickly looking back at the blond, “do you think he’ll hate me?”

“Now who sounds like her husband speaking about his brother?” Steve smiled teasingly. “Bucky won’t hate that you found someone to make you as happy as TJ makes me or Bucky. Natasha, he’ll be relieved. He cares for you, but you know his heart belongs to TJ. You deserve that same kind of love, don’t you?”

Natasha nodded slowly and looked back down at the letter, “you mind watching them? I - - I need to read this . . .”

“Natasha . . . babygirl,” Steve murmured, “if it’s not what you hope to hear, you come right back in here, okay?”

Nodding, Natasha looked at Steve, “I will, but, if it _is_ what I want hear . . .”

“You’re gonna tell Bucky, right? Later?” Steve asked.

“Yes, that’s what I was going to say,” Natasha said, “I’m going to go out on the dock to read this . . . if I don’t come back before they’re done, can you send Bucky out when he’s ready?”

“Of course. Just relax and enjoy the sun and your letter.” Steve hoped it was good news; Natasha deserved the kind of love the three men had found. Just because she had agreed to marry Bucky while still trying to recover from her own dealings with Brock didn’t mean she should have a life sentence with someone that she couldn’t love that deeply.

Natasha nodded and then eased quietly from her chair. She gave one last glance to the twins before slipping from the room, letting the door shut softly behind her.

Bucky moaned in his brother’s ear. “You tell me when you’re close, Teej. I can take out the toy so I can fill you up with my cum.”

Keening, high and needy, TJ nodded, “yes, Buck . . . I - - I . . . ah - -” the slender brunet moaned as the toy pushed against his prostate bringing him so close to the edge.

“Ready for me, brother mine?” Bucky growled low, ending on a moan, his balls feeling heavy and tight.

“Yes . . . God, yes, Buck . . . fill me so full!” TJ groaned.

Nodding, Bucky slid out of his brother and twisted the plug as he pulled it out, dropping it to the comforter. Bucky pushed into his well-opened brother, driving hard once more.”Gonna cum, Teej. Can you feel it? I want you to cum without touching yourself. Just from being filled . . .”

Moaning, TJ pushed back against Bucky as he felt the tightening in his balls, “oh - - Buck . . . gonna . . . ah - - so, so good!”

“Not without me, Teej. ‘M close!” Bucky stroked harder, hitting TJ’s prostate with each deep drag. After a few hard thrusts, he groaned low, “now, TJ! Cum with me!” Bucky came hard and deep, blasting his brother’s passage with rope after rope of hot, thick cum.

With a shout, TJ’s back bowed and he painted the comforter with thick white stripes of cum.

Steve smiled, watching the brothers, not touching his own straining member, allowing their time together without a third lover, even if they were being monitored for Bucky’s roughness.

TJ mewled under his brother, feeling Bucky’s cum running down his inner thighs, his limbs quivered from the hard release. Cumming without touch always felt so good, though it wasn’t the easiest thing to achieve. “Buck?” TJ whimpered, his hips still rolling softly as he came down from his orgasm.

“Yeah, Teej?” Bucky breathed against his shoulder, kissing TJ’s sweat-sheened flesh. He eased his own thrusts until he stilled inside his twin. “You good . . . check in?”

“Green,” TJ panted.

“Good . . . you cum, brother?” Bucky asked, beginning to run his hands over TJ’s back and hips and abdomen, lightly caressing him everywhere.

“Yes, Buck . . . untouched . . . I came just from you filling me,” TJ smiled tiredly.

“Oh, good boy, Teej! So proud of you!” Bucky kissed his neck nuzzling. “Kiss me, TJ. Wanna taste a good boy . . .”

Pushing himself up on shaky arms, TJ turned his head enough so that he could kiss Bucky, tongue immediately slipping in to explore his twin’s mouth.

Moaning into the kiss, Bucky slid his tongue across TJ’s, tasting his brother’s wonderful, pretty mouth. He continued lightly caressing TJ’s body, easing him to the bed and over, away from the biggest mess.

As soon as Bucky settled him on the mattress, TJ cuddled against his brother’s form, nuzzling and kissing him. His long legs entwined with Bucky’s and he pressed himself firmly to Bucky’s side.

“Such a beautiful man, TJ. So sensual and pretty.” Bucky finally eased his hands to a stop, nuzzling TJ’s neck and wrapping his arms around his twin in a tight cuddle.”Sleep, big brother.”

Nodding sluggishly, TJ nuzzled once more at Bucky’s chest before he let his eyes slip shut and his breathing even out.

Finally, Steve got up and headed out to the other room and gave the couple there a smile. He headed out to the dock and approached, stroking her hair lightly, a gentle but insistent caress.

She looked up at Steve. “They okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, they’re napping. So, good news?” he smiled and sat next to her on the sun-warmed wood.

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded, looking back down at the letter.

“And your new . . . lover . . . doesn’t mind bondage? Dom-sub? Even poly-play?” Steve listed the things Natasha had participated in that might be major problems in any new relationship.

“He’s into bondage,” she nodded, not looking at Steve, “and dom-sub stuff. I’ll have to talk to him about the poly-play, but I have a feeling he’ll even be okay with that.”

“And do you think he’ll fit in with our play group? With TJ? Or even Bucky?” Steve smiled and leaned closer, “you know me. If _you_ trust him, I’ll give him a chance.”

“I think so,” she said softly, “and I do trust him. I - - I think I love him.”

“Anyone we know, babygirl? You don’t have to name him until you’ve told Bucky, but do I at least know him?” Steve nuzzled her shoulder gently, but not in an erotic way.

“Yeah, you know him,” she informed with a nod. She didn’t give any more information, feeling that she should tell Bucky the details first before Steve.

“Good. That’ll be easier to see if he’ll fit in if we don’t have to introduce TJ to a complete stranger.” He dropped a gentle kiss to the same shoulder and straightened, turning to look at the cabin. “TJ’ll be waking up again in a couple of minutes. Bucky should already be rousing. I’ll send him out.”

“Thank you, Steve,” Natasha gave the blond a small smile.

“Any time, babygirl. You’re part of my family.” He stood and strode back in, nodding to the other couple, and back into Bucky’s bedroom, smiling at the sleepy look in Bucky’s eyes. The brunet sat up and Steve walked over. “Heya, Buck, Natasha wants to talk to you on the dock. Might want clothes.”

Nodding, still looking a bit fuzzy-minded, the brunet got out of bed and turned to kiss TJ.

“I’ll clean him up, Buck, rinse off and go to your wife.” Steve got washing supplies as Bucky stumbled into the bathroom to clean up and pull on his bathrobe.

Finally, Bucky walked out the door that lead from his bedroom to the back deck and lake, his feet bare, the robe tied loosely. “Nat, baby?” he asked, yawning and shading his eyes from the afternoon sun. “Hey, things okay, sweetheart?”

Natasha looked up from where she still sat on the edge of the dock, her feet swinging slightly in the cool water. She still held the opened letter in her hands. The redhead patted the spot next to her, “wanna sit, James?” Her green eyes held worry.

“Sure,” Bucky smiled and slipped down to sit beside her, letting his own feet, and the bottom of his robe, dangle in the water. “Whatcha need, love?” He turned to meet her eyes directly, smiling in encouragement, though he sensed her distress and worried.

“Are you _in_ love with me?” She asked softly, keeping her husband’s gaze.

“ _In_ love?” Bucky asked seriously. “Um . . . no? I love you very much, Natasha . . . but . . . I’m not . . .” he ran his right hand over the back of his neck, biting on his bottom lip.

She nodded, looking back out at the lake, which shimmered in the afternoon sun, “we got married out of panic and fear . . . a need of safety. We didn’t marry because we _love_ one another.”

“That’s true,” Bucky sighed and nodded, letting his hand drop. “But, Natasha, I’ve always tried to be good for you, treat you with love and respect? You’re one of my closest friends.”

Smiling softly, Natasha nodded and turned back to look at the brunet, “I know. And you’re one of my closest friends, too, James. I’ve tried to . . . force myself to be _in_ love with you because I didn’t want to hurt you. And then your brother moved in with us.”

“And I . . . God, Nat . . .” Bucky ran his left hand shakily over his face. “I fell in love with my own twin, didn’t I? I mean, it’s beyond sex . . .”

“You’re _in_ love with TJ, James,” Natasha nodded, she didn’t sound upset or jealous, “you and TJ . . . I think it was inevitable. The connection you two have, it’s something special, something beautiful.”

Slowly, something seemed to dawn on Bucky and he whispered, hesitantly, “you didn’t fall in love with Steve, did you?”

Laughing softly, Natasha shook her head, “no, I didn’t fall in love with Steve. Steve belongs with TJ just as much as you do. You three belong to one another.”

“You don’t think TJ loves one of us more than the other? I mean, I have no problem sharing him with Steve. You’d think I would, but . . . I feel like Steve fills a need in TJ as much as TJ fills a need in me. And, I really want to further explore with Steve . . . I think he’s ready to let me?” Bucky looked at his wife with wide, pale eyes.

“I think TJ loves both of you in different ways and needs both of you equally. I think right now the relationship with you is so new and exciting. I mean,” Natasha let out a small sigh, “it’s new and exciting but there’s already a deep bond between you two. Something was already there _before_ you two started having sex.”

Bucky thought for a long moment then slowly took his wife’s hand and asked, “how can I help you find _your_ true love, baby? I want you to be _happy_ and safe, too.”

“I . . . I’ve already met him, James,” Natasha said softly, meeting Bucky’s eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you . . . I - - I’ve been seeing someone . . . outside of the play group.”

Bucky looked surprised, but not upset. He studied her eyes, her face, and softly said, “and this guy . . . you feel safe with him? He treats you good, Natasha?” He knew that many people would have been angry, felt betrayed if their significant other said they’d been cheating, but Bucky felt no such dark emotions. If one wanted to nit pick, Bucky had cheated first . . . with TJ.

Smiling softly, Natasha nodded, “you’ve met him, actually. Clint Barton? One of the detectives assigned TJ’s case?”

“Yeah, pretty nice guy, real intent on helping out on the case, nice eyes.” Bucky looked at Natasha. “You’ve been seeing this cop? Nat, is he gonna be supportive of your kinks? Cops aren’t really the submissive type, are they? Or are you _his_ Submissive?”

“You’d be surprised,” Natasha answered honestly, “I’ll need to discuss his openness to some poly-play if you’ll still want me involved sometimes, that is,” she looked at her husband, eyes searching his face.

“Natasha, you’re still family, you’re still one of our group!” Bucky insisted instantly. “Just because you and I turned out to be a not-so-lovestruck couple doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome to hang with us and love us. We need to get used to Clint, was it?” Bucky offered a smile and leaned in. “And if we like him, then we won’t threaten him with castration.”

Laughing softly, Natasha nodded, “do you think TJ will be open to it? I don’t want him uncomfortable with a near stranger involved.”

“Well, tell you what,” Bucky said, smiling softly. “We invite Clint over a few times for TJ to get to know and see if we can work up to Clint being invited in. I mean, you’re still welcome to play, too, without him, while TJ’s getting to know your new guy, if you want, but we make time and space for Clint to get to know us, too. You still have to find out if he even wants to be in a playgroup.”

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded, she turned her head to look out at the lake for a few moments before turning back to Bucky, “I am really happy you found love with TJ, James, and Steve, too. They’re good for you. TJ adores you.”

Bucky hugged his wife, “so, how does this work? We get a divorce? You get the cat? You still gonna move in with us or you want the apartment or what?”

“I think a divorce is the best option,” Natasha nodded, leaning into the hug, “and as for living arrangements, I’m not sure. I definitely wouldn’t mind spending some nights with you, Steve and TJ . . . but, Clint and I were talking about moving in together eventually.”

Nodding, Bucky smiled. “Well, I see there’s no argument about you getting Sacha, huh?” He stood and offered his hands to his wife. “Let’s go inside? I think it’s time you felt like you belonged again. Maybe tell everyone about your sexy cop boyfriend?”

Natasha accepted Bucky’s hands and stood up, she offered him a smile, “yeah, I’d like to feel like I’m being honest with everyone,” she looked worried suddenly, “how do you think TJ’s gonna take it?”

“Not sure. But if you and I are both happy, he should be happy. He’ll probably be nervous about adding Clint to our social circle,” Bucky sighed, but smiled again. “We’ll start with dinner, right?”

“Dinner first,” Natasha agreed, “let everyone get to know one another.”

Bucky opened the door to the bedroom, leading Natasha inside. He smiled at TJ and Steve. “Heya, guys. TJ, feeling okay? Did I hurt you, brother mine?”

Smiling, TJ looked up from where he was cuddled against Steve’s side, all cleaned up and the drowsiness long gone, “only in the good ways,” he quipped playfully.

“Great,” Bucky laughed softly. He guided Natasha over to the bed and to sit down then joined the other three. “So, Natasha and I have been talking and wanted to let you guys in on a few things?”

TJ looked between his brother and Natasha, the smile fading slightly as he sat up. “Is everything okay?” He asked softly, looking back at his brother. Were Natasha and Bucky leaving the group?

Bucky reached over and took TJ’s hand, smiling softly. “Well, we told you that Nat and I got married after . . . well, to help Natasha feel secure, so I could protect her, right?”

Nodding, TJ turned his eyes on Natasha and then back on Bucky, “yeah . . . I remember.”

“Well, Nat and I care about each other a lot, but, TJ, Steve, we aren’t in love. I’m in love with someone else. And, now, turns out Nat’s found someone else she’s falling in love with, too.” Bucky smiled, despite the news.

“Wait,” TJ’s eyes widened and he paled slightly, “you two are splitting up?” He met Bucky’s eyes, “who are you in love with?”

Bucky looked at Natasha then Steve and back to his twin. “You, TJ. I fell in love with you.” He held his breath, suddenly worried his twin would reject how he felt.

“Y - - you . . .” TJ stammered, unable to form words. He felt joy at hearing those words, but he also felt guilty. It had never been his intention to split Bucky and Natasha up.

Natasha reached over to gently pat TJ and Bucky’s hands, “I can see what you’re thinking, TJ. Don’t feel guilty, okay? We both know that you never wanted to end our marriage, okay? Both of us want the other to be happy, and it just happens that both of us found our happiness with other people.”

TJ opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking between Natasha and Bucky before finally settling on Bucky. “Y - - you love me . . .”

“Yes,” Bucky smiled at TJ, eyes lighting up. “I am _in love_ with you, brother mine. And . . . odd as it might sound, I love your big, goofy husband, too.” He took TJ’s other hand, too, kissing both hands tenderly.

Steve smiled at that but still didn’t interrupt.

Looking at Bucky for several long moments before launching himself into his brother’s arms, TJ keened softly. “I’m in love with you, too, Buck . . .” TJ admitted softly, nuzzling Bucky’s neck.

Bucky looked surprised, delighted, and relieved in quick order. He hugged his brother fiercely, offering Natasha a wide smile, pale eyes lit in joy. Steve looked just as happy as Bucky did.

Natasha met Bucky’s eyes and gave him a soft smile, happy that things were working out for everyone. She motioned for Steve to follow her as she stood back up and headed towards the door, wanting to give the twins some time.

Nodding and following Natasha, Steve waited until she had seated herself before he turned the laptop to her and waited for her to look over what he and Doug had been researching while the twins slept. The Colorado laws were clearly stated on the screen, including the incest laws. Steve had been so wrapped up in wedding plans, he’d forgotten to check the laws before booking the venue.

She read the page and her eyes slowly widened. How had she not thought about this? She prided herself on thinking ahead, on knowing the risks _before_ doing something. Looking up at Steve, Natasha waited for him to speak.

Softly, dropping into his own chair, Steve said, “I’ve calmed down Doug and sent him to Anne, but I don’t know how much she knows about what he just remembered for us.” Rubbing at his neck, he sighed. “We looked up the laws together. We can get away with this in Jersey, so I’ll be checking into getting the house there like Abraham suggested. But we’ve gotta rein in the twins so nothing accidentally gets found out until we can move to Jersey.” He met her eyes.

Slowly, Natasha nodded, “I didn’t even think about how it could be illegal here, too.”

Shaking his head, Steve agreed, “neither did I, Tasha. I just went with what made everyone feel happy. Now I gotta figure out a way to tell TJ without him thinking he’s to blame or going on a guilt low or something. He hits low real quick.”

“We’ll explain it to them together,” Natasha nodded, “that way they both know that it’s neither of their faults . . . it just happened.”

“Yeah, Buck would bend over and take the sword if he had to. Don’t want that, either.” Steve nodded. “I also don’t want them thinking we’re disgusted with them. They’re beautiful and happy with each other. I love seeing that.”

Agreeing, Natasha nodded again, “it’s like . . . they were meant to be with each other like that . . . I can’t explain it. But, until we get to Jersey, it can’t continue. We can’t risk either one being arrested.”

“I know. I feel the same way. I’m not jealous in the least that they need to be so intimate. It feels natural somehow, and I get to be a part of that.” He smiled. “So, we should continue with Bucky’s training so he won’t hurt himself or TJ when we do get to Jersey. And we let them know the facts and reassure them that we’ll be moving to Jersey as soon as I get a place. Until then, kissing and petting is about as far as they can go and that should be in private. But they should try not to at all, just in case, so they can keep in check.” Steve looked at her. “Sound right?”

Natasha sighed and nodded, still shocked in herself for not realizing how dangerous Bucky and TJ’s relationship had become.

“Oh, and Nat? Why don’t you look up the BDSM laws for Jersey? Then we can let them know what’s what?” Steve deliberately put her in charge of something to let her get her confidence, her control back. There probably wasn’t any strictures on private activities, but Natasha would feel better taking that control back anyway. And it would soothe Doug that they’d checked into it.

After searching for a few minutes, Natasha let out a small sigh of relief and showed her findings to Steve, “we’re good in Jersey.”

“So, best policy? If we don’t do the scenes in public, no one reports us, so we don’t have to defend our way of life. We keep it private and find a club for the public stuff?” He smiled at her in relief.

“Yes, and to be safe, because of TJ’s . . .” Natasha looked up at Steve.

“Drug addictions, say it, Natasha. It’s the truth and he knows it. We don’t make it a dirty secret.” He smiled encouragingly.

Natasha shook her head, “well, yes, but that wasn’t what I was going to say.”

“Fame? Anxiety?” Steve guessed deliberately, letting her see the need to fully communicate. Steve was never the best guesser.

“All of the above. But fame was what I was going for. We should keep the twins playtime strictly in the home,” Natasha said firmly.

“Agreed. We need to set rules for the house and that’s almost top of the list.” Steve stretched and looked towards the clock; he never wore a watch unless he was working, which hadn’t been for awhile. “TJ’ll be hungry about now,” he said softly, knowing his boy’s habits after sex. “Think a good bathtime talk with the twins will work? Touch keeps TJ calm . . .”

Natasha nodded and stood back up, “ready, Steve?”

“More than ready. Want to get our lives under control and move on.” He smiled and stood, smiling down at the small woman. “How’re feeling after earlier?”

“Great,” Natasha smiled softly.

He nodded then took a couple of steps then stopped and softly said, “Nat, we’ll really need to decide how the house rules and stuff will work. With different sets or couples living in the same place, things can get confusing.”

Natasha nodded, “yeah, but let’s deal with the twins first and then we’ll start discussing houserules.”

“Great idea,” Steve said approvingly. “One thing at a time. Should we get Doug and Anne in on this talk or stick with the twins for now?”

“Just the twins for right now. We can do a _family_ talk later,” Natasha said.

The word _family_ made Steve smile wider. “Yeah. Let’s go tell our boys what’s going on. Let them know they’re important enough we told them right off.” Steve walked to Bucky’s bedroom and opened the door, smiling at the sight of TJ in Bucky’s arms. In a soft, loving voice, he called, “bath time for baby.”

TJ smiled softly up at Steve, “hey, sir.” He nuzzled Bucky’s chest.

“Hey, pet,” Steve called back and walked over to stroke his husband’s hair. He didn’t stop the intimate contact yet. It was minor.

Bucky stretched and smiled, almost groaning in satisfaction. “Bath sounds good,” he murmured and looked over to his wife with a smile.

Laughing, Natasha walked over and brushed a lock of hair from her husband’s face, “come on, let’s get you two cleaned up, yeah?” Just because their marriage was ending did not mean that all physical contact between them had to cease.

Nodding, Bucky sat up with another soft groan and reached over to stroke a hand through TJ’s curls. “Yeah. Wanna feel clean.”

Steve reached over and eased TJ to a sitting position. “Need to take it slow, TJ. You took it pretty rough just now.” He kept his voice light and accepting, approving.

Humming in contentment, TJ nodded and leaned into Steve’s arms. He felt sore but it was a good type of sore.

Gently, Steve eased his husband to his feet and walked him slowly to the master bath off the main living room. It was an odd setup to have the bedrooms with private, smaller baths, but Steve didn’t question the design, just accepted it. “Natasha, bring Buck? He needs bathing, too,” he laughed, as if this was a normal day. Steve wanted it to feel relaxed and normal, not like they were accusing the twins of anything immoral or deliberately illegal. Steve wanted them to stay open about their relationship, not shut down in guilt.

Natasha smiled at Bucky, “ready to get clean, dear?”

“You gonna join us, doll?” Bucky grinned.

“Not play time, bath time!” Steve sang back.

Nodding her agreement to Steve’s words, Natasha helped pull Bucky to his feet, “come on, dear.”

Bucky chuckled and scooted out of bed, taking Natasha’s hand and letting her pull him, unresisting, into the main bathroom. The tub was big enough for a couple, with a little to spare. Steve was already running the water; he’d sat TJ carefully on the toilet seat.

“Go ahead and relieve yourself if you can, pet. That way you can enjoy a long soak.” Steve tossed his husband a loving smile.

“I don’t need to go, sir,” TJ rubbed his eyes, looking at Steve with a soft smile.

“Good boy,” Steve praised. “Buck? Need the toilet before going into the water?”

Bucky laughed outright and shook his head. “Nope, and you can stop coddling me. Were not in a scene, Steve, you mother hen.”

“Hmph,” Steve made a disappointed noise, “but I love coddling. TJ can tell you. I adore taking care of my good boy.”

Natasha tugged Bucky’s hair gently before letting go, “behave, James. He’s being nice. You thank someone for being nice.”

Bucky blinked at Natasha slowly then, without looking away from his lovely wife, said, “thanks, Steve, I’m good. Appreciate the warm bath.” Somehow, Bucky felt he wanted Natasha’s approval for this; he’d always felt a singing in him when he’d done something that got someone’s approval but never really examined it. Was that being submissive?

“Good boy,” Natasha smiled her approval and stroked Bucky’s cheek, “now, go get in the tub.”

“TJ first . . .” Bucky said. “Steve drew the bath, so TJ get’s in first.”

Steve chuckled and turned to help TJ walk to the large bathtub. He aided his husband in climbing in the deep tub. “Settle in, love. How’s the water?” He’d added an aloe lotion to the water for any injuries that might have been sustained.

Sighing in relief, TJ nodded, “it’s nice, sir. Thank you.”

Steve turned and offered Bucky the same assistance, and though he didn’t feel he needed it, Bucky took Steve’s hand and smile his thanks. He settled across from TJ, their legs almost entwined in the large tub.

Steve helped TJ duck under then come back up He reached over and poured out some shampoo then massaged it through his hands to warm it. Steve started working the shampoo through TJ’s short curls. “Okay, discussion time. Did you guys enjoy this latest playtime?”

“Oh, yes, sir,” TJ moaned, pressing into Steve’s touch.

“It was great,” Bucky agreed as he began soaping up a cloth to wash his arms and chest. “Except the part where I accidentally hurt Teej, but I appreciate the help there. Never wanna hurt my brother.”

Nodding, Steve said, “Doug was worried, too, guys. I’ve got his worries soothed and he’s in with Anne, but we’ve got a few more things to work out now. I should’ve looked it up before. I’m sorry I forgot, but in some states it’s illegal to do BDSM. That’s what we’re doing, you know, with the more serious toys and the leash and all.” He kissed TJ’s neck and eased off the wet collars, handing them to Nat to take care of immediately so they wouldn’t get destroyed.

Natasha took the collars and immediately began drying and caring for them. Luckily the leather hadn’t gotten too wet so they weren’t ruined.

“Questions so far guys?” Steve asked. He’d ease into the incest laws if one of the others didn’t bring it up first.

“Doug was worried?” TJ asked softly, looking up at Steve, “I - - I didn’t know BDSM was illegal in some states?”

Nodding, Steve said, “yeah, the laws are in place to protect people from assault. In some places, assault is any kind of power play. It’s to prevent the argument that you asked for it even when you said no.” He stroked TJ’s hair but met his eyes. Those laws were very valid to TJ’s current case with Brock. Steve reminded himself to brush up on New York consent laws. “Want your honest thoughts, baby, okay?”

TJ nodded, looking at Steve with wide eyes, “okay, sir.”

“Some places also have laws about public touching, called decency laws.” Steve leaned in and kissed TJ’s soapy neck. He continued massaging his hair. “Doug was a very busy man this morning during our walk,” he chuckled as if there was nothing serious to worry about, as if this was just another after-play discussion.

Bucky sighed and stopped washing, looking at Steve intently. “So, we gotta watch how to touch or act in public. That makes sense. Did . . . did we break any laws, Steve?”

“Not in public, Buck, no. Everythings fine there.” Steve waited to see what the twins would say.

“Not in . . . public? You mean . . .” TJ looked at Steve, a fearful expression crossing his face.

Nodding, Steve kissed TJ’s temple, ignoring the shampoo. “Yeah, and thankfully Doug figured it out so we can avoid breaking it in future, right? But, like I said, it wasn’t in public and there were no witnesses, so we’re good. We just gotta be careful not to do it again.”

Natasha sat on the edge of the tub after caring for TJ’s collar and stroked Bucky’s hair, “this making sense, James?”

“Yeah,” Bucky met TJ’s eyes. “I know which laws you must be talking about.” He sighed. “Forgot. Didn’t think to check Colorado.”

TJ blinked, looking at the three other adults in the room. Still trying to catch up on what everyone was talking about.

Steve stroked again, “incest laws, baby. There are incest laws in pretty much every state and country.”

Eyes widening, TJ looked stunned; how could he have forgotten about the incest laws?

Taking TJ’s hand, Steve began kissing his fingers, as he often did when teaching him and calming him simultaneously. “TJ, talk to me, love. What’s my good boy thinking?”

TJ whimpered and brought his knees to his chest, as if to try and shield his nudity from his brother, “I - - I . . . didn’t mean . . .” 

Steve reached down and eased one of TJ’s legs down then the other. “None of that hiding, babydoll. You’re safe here, in this cabin, with the people who love you. What’s lesson one?”

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Rogers . . .” the lean brunet murmured.

“And that means?” Steve prompted.

“Steve knows what’s bad or good for TJ,” TJ answered softly.

“And did Steve say there was anything wrong with TJ and Bucky loving one another in the most intimate of ways?” Steve coaxed, kissing TJ’s palm as Bucky watched with worried eyes.

TJ shook his head, “no.” He looked over at his brother.

Bucky reached over and stroked TJ’s knee. “I guess one at a time, right?” he asked, mentioning Steve’s favorite mantra. “So, TJ, what’s between us. Does it feel wrong?”

“N - - no . . . but - - there . . . it’s . . .” TJ hugged himself, letting out a whimper.

“One at a time, TJ,” Bucky reminded him. “It felt right to me, too. I love what we have. So,” he looked at Steve. “Some people got a problem with BDSM and incest and stuff. What’ll we do about it?” He stroked TJ’s leg again.

Steve took a cup and began rinsing TJ’s hair, running his fingers through his husband’s curls as he worked. “Doug, Natasha, and I looked up the laws for different states and in DC. We came up with interesting information.” He rubbed at TJ’s neck and purred out, as if this were a normal discussion over whether they should play with the scarves or the plugs that night, “check in, pet.”

“Green, sir,” TJ said softly, wanting to hear what the others had found, hoping he wouldn’t have to stop loving his brother completely.

“Good boy,” Steve praised and stroked across his shoulders. “So, we found out that Colorado has nothing against touching your brother or kissing him, in public, as long as you’re not grabbing his crotch or butt publicly.” He smiled at them, letting them know right off that they broke no laws in public, like Steve had assured. “Also, haven’t found anything against wearing leashes in public in Colorado, either.” He stroked the top of TJ’s spine and said, “so everyone take a breath or two for me. We’ll discuss all the laws, so everyone’s clear.”

TJ took in a shaky breath and let it out, he looked at Bucky, eyes worried.

Bucky offered an encouraging smile, relaxing into the hot water as the immediate fears were relieved. “We can deal with this, right TJ?”

Nodding, TJ continued to look at Bucky, “r - - right.”

“Now, sexual contact with your brother is illegal in Colorado,” Steve went on, “so, we have to stop that right now until we leave. Is that okay with you two? Caressing in a non-private area, no crotch or butt, and kissing are fine, guys. Touch away, in the cabin just to be extra safe.” Steve kissed TJ’s neck. “Sound okay? Check in.”

Whimpering, TJ nodded, though his eyes looked sad, “okay . . . g - - green.”

“Hey, TJ, one at a time,” Bucky smiled and stroked TJ’s leg, leaning forward so he could go right up to the inner thigh, but he stopped short of the crotch. “I can handle a bit of touching and kissing for another week or so. Steve, you find out what’s legal in New York?”

“We did one better,” Steve said, smiling at Natasha. “We found out where both incest and BDSM are perfectly legal, within certain limits which we already meet.” He felt that letting the twins know they’d already found a place for them to be together would let TJ and Bucky know that Steve and Natasha were totally onboard with the continuation of the relationship.

“You did?” TJ looked up at Steve, eyes hopeful.

“Yup. Doug found out where incest is legal and Nat where BDSM is legal. And it’s not that hard a move. In fact, I was going to start looking into buying our house there . . . remember Abraham from _Imago_?” He kissed TJ’s palm again.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded.

“It’s a pretty exotic location, TJ . . . might have trouble finding food you like, even with your habit of eating anything I give you . . .” Steve’s eyes danced, he was obviously teasing. “You’d have to lug your stuff all the way to New Jersey to be legal. Abraham was right.”

TJ blinked, looking stunned; he hadn’t thought the state they’d be safe in was so close to where they already lived.

“Jersey!” Bucky barked out a surprised laugh. “And we always put them down as the armpit of America. Boy, I take it back! I think I love the Garden State!” How had he not followed up on the shop keeper’s suggestion back when they’d started this? It seemed the entire group had just gotten comfortable and forgotten.

“Incest laws in Jersey are thus,” Steve said, still smiling, “can’t marry your immediate relative. Can’t have sex with them if either of you are under eighteen.” Steve stopped, waiting.

TJ looked at Bucky and smiled widely.

“And . . .” Bucky smiled, waiting for the rest of the laws.

“And that’s it, Buck. That’s the laws in a nutshell. So, to be safe, we keep it in the house and we are perfectly legal. Sound good, baby?” Steve looked directly into TJ’s eyes.

“Yes, sir!” TJ grinned.

“Doug’s onboard, by the way. He said as long as we’re not breaking laws, he’d be more than happy to playdate in Jersey.” Steve grinned back.

“So . . . we just hold off on any . . . inappropriate - -” TJ started.

“ _Intimate_ not inappropriate, TJ. It’s not inappropriate to us,” Steve corrected, still smiling. “And not to Jersey, either. We hold off on sex play between you guys until we find a house and move in.”

Bucky nodded and caressed his brother’s calf. “I can do that. Makes it all the sweeter when we can finally play again. Right, TJ? Check in?” he smiled wide.

“Green,” TJ smiled, “I can wait.”

“So, to be even safer, let’s hold back on teasing each other correct?” Steve instructed. “Between you two. In Colorado, there's no law against in-laws having sex.”

“O - - okay, no teasing until we move to Jersey,” TJ nodded and smiled.

Feeling TJ relax, Stee knew the rest would be easy. “Now, BDSM laws. We really didn’t find much against it, if it’s consensual. But we concentrated on Jersey mostly. Nat? Wanna tell them?”

Natasha nodded and said, “pretty much in Jersey, as long as the BDSM is consensual between all those involved, it’s perfectly legal.” She stroked her fingers through Bucky’s hair.

Bucky laughed. “Okay, now I adore Jersey!”

TJ nodded in agreement with what Bucky said, “me, too.”

Steve smiled widely, “so, who's for finishing bathtime so we can go out to the kitchen, get something to eat and drink, do a little petting or warming, and look up houses for sale in beautiful New Jersey?”


	18. Lives Change

Steve rubbed the back of his neck while staring at the three story private home. He had the rest of the group with him; it was the last day before Doug and Anne had to return to the DC whirl, and Steve had really wanted them involved in finding their perfect home. In the past two weeks, Natasha and Bucky had privately informed the group of their coming divorce and Clint began to come over for dinners; he seemed pretty open about the various relationships. So far, in the two weeks since returning from Colorado, they’d not found a home to satisfy what everyone seemed to be looking for. Steve was beginning to think he’d have to put his foot down, select a home for TJ and himself, and just make the others adapt. Turning to the real estate agent, he nodded. “It _is_ beautiful, and the topiary does make it more private. We’d like to see the inside, please?” He’d let her think the main group was merely helping him and TJ find their first home, despite looking at a multi-level, multi bed and bath place.

TJ stayed close to Steve’s side; he’d gotten a lot better in public and it wasn’t a huge ordeal leaving the apartment anymore, but he still felt the most comfortable pressed to Steve’s strong body.

The woman offered TJ a smile, apparently thinking him adorable. She had already been made aware that TJ was part of a married couple, but that didn’t stop her from offering lots of smiles, though she hadn’t made any advances. The woman was professional. “I think you’ll like it. The owner had the attic and basement renovated and both can be used for living areas or storage.” She unlocked the door.

Doug looked at the large house, one of many in a large, gated community. He knew just from the neighborhood and the size of the home that it’d be quite pricey. He recalled Steve saying that the blond’s inheritance had been promised to be used for his future love, but he wondered just how much that inheritance was for Steve to be able to even look at a place like this.

Anne stroked her husband’s chest and smiled. “It looks really lovely.” She began studying everything with a critical eye, despite her smiles and relaxed attitude. As an interior decorator, this house hunt was right in her expertise. “Dry rot? Termites?” she prompted the agent, who denied and actually pulled out owner proof of recent inspections. Anne nodded and continued to study the moulding and frame work and appliances and such.

Bucky, hands in his pockets, a habit he’d adopted since the big talk in Colorado, looked over the wiring and plumbing, heading mainly for the basement and bathrooms, breaking off from the main group. The agent looked a bit nervous as the group began to spread out.

TJ looked up at Steve, “think everyone will finally like this one?” He’d been the easiest out of all of them, to nobody’s surprise, as long as the house was functional and big enough to fit everyone, it was fine with him.

Steve sighed. “If they don’t agree on this one, TJ, I’m going to just have to make them adjust to the one _we_ choose.” He watched as Doug, Anne, and Bucky disappeared. Turning to Natasha and Clint, who had been invited to give a security opinion as well as get TJ further comfortable around the stocky blond cop, Steve offered a smile. “What is it you want in a place, Nat?” He sounded exhausted.

“A roof?” Natasha snorted with a laugh, “some bathrooms and a place for a bed. I’m not picky.”

“All the locks are new,” Clint pointed out, gesturing to the titanium mechanisms. “Good, strong locks, too. And a security system already installed? That’s a bonus.” He offered his reassuring smile to TJ.

Nodding, Steve offered the agent a smile and headed off for a personal walkthrough of the rooms. He got to an extremely large room at the back of the first floor, floor to ceiling windows showing the large yard. A connecting door led to an equally large room with a harp sitting to one side. The agent rushed to say, “the harp is not included. The owner is looking for movers that won't damage the instrument. But, I’ve been assure that this room doesn’t _need_ to stay a music room. It was originally built as an addition to the ballroom, a way to hide the musicians, but the wall can be knocked out and the space made even larger . . . or maybe a guest room?”

TJ blinked, all the suggestions running through his head, after a moment, he asked, “why would someone want to hide the musicians?”

Steve looked back at the sunlit room to the more protected but no less beautiful, music room. “So, anything played in here will clearly be heard next door?”

Laughing, the woman nodded, looking nervous. “Well, it was a _thing_ to make it sound like the music was being played by fairies or angels or whatever? And, yes, unfortunately the acoustics make it so this room’s sounds cannot be hidden from next door. Maybe replace the walls and stuff to convert the room?”

“Oh,” TJ said and peeled away from Steve to poke his head into the music room before stepping inside. It had been weeks since he’d played anything, and his fingers twitched by his sides at the thought of getting to play an instrument again. None of the other houses had come with a designated _music room._

Suddenly, the agent’s voice said in delight, “you’ll be very happy, Mr. Rogers. I’ll put the paperwork through and let the owner know your bid.”

Whirling around, TJ looked at Steve with wide eyes.

Steve was looking out the large windows at the beautiful view of the yard. He was smiling, a lost, dreamy kind of look in his eyes. He looked very happy . . . very at home.

TJ walked out of the music room to stand behind his husband, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist.

Steve looked down, slipping his arms tightly around TJ. “I love this place,” he said simply.

Humming in agreement, TJ nodded, “me too.”

Steve glanced over at the music room and smiled. “Oh? Found yourself a private hidey hole, baby?”

Flushing, TJ looked over at the room and smiled, “uh . . . yeah. It’s a pretty room, sir.”

Laughing, Steve nuzzled his husband’s neck. “It’s more than pretty, TJ. It’s also very non-private. Anything we say or do in there will be heard out here.” He looked back out at the view. “Gorgeous . . .”

“You happy, sir?” TJ asked softly.

“Yeah. You?” Steve smiled down at TJ.

TJ grinned and nodded, “yeah, I’m glad that, as long as your bid goes through, this hunt will finally be over!”

“I hope it goes through. I offered his asking price.” Steve sighed, but he seemed happy not dejected. “Let’s go rein in the others and let them know we found our home.”

TJ tugged Steve’s hand, holding his husband back from returning to the others just yet. Glancing at the doorway, making sure none of the other members of their group were closeby, TJ looked up at Steve with concerned eyes. “Doesn’t it seem a bit odd how . . . normal everything is? I mean, Bucky doesn’t even seem to care that Clint’s here . . .”

Smiling at TJ, Steve stroked his husband’s cheek. “TJ, Natasha and Bucky already talked about their divorce and her interest in Clint. Bucky’s okay with it. Does . . . does Clint worry you?”

“He doesn’t . . . well, I do find it weird how _okay_ he is with me and Bucky but . . .” TJ bit his bottom lip, “divorces _never_ go this smoothly . . . and how is everyone okay still living under the same roof?”

“TJ,” Steve asked, “do you know why they got married?”

“Yes, because Bucky wanted to protect Natasha from Brock after she was attacked,” TJ nodded, letting out a sigh, not believing that things could go this well; divorces were ugly, and TJ found himself waiting for the other shoe to drop. “But, they’ve been married for a few years, Steve. I know they’ve both said that they don’t love each other like a married couple should . . . but, Steve, I’m responsible for destroying my twin’s marriage. Because of _me_ , because I came back to New York, Bucky and Nat are getting a divorce.”

“TJ,” Steve cupped his lover’s face in both hands, “Nat and Bucky weren’t destroyed by you, they were helped. They actually didn’t have a very active sex life and they spent more time away from each other than together. But, now, they aren’t afraid to talk about their desires and needs. Nat found she needs Clint. And Bucky found he needs you and me.” Steve traced his lips over TJ’s. “And some divorces are amenable, not messy or horrible.”

Shaking his head, TJ appeared disbelieving, “I just . . . I always blamed the other women that my dad slept with . . . saying that if it wasn’t for _them_ , my mom and dad would’ve never gotten divorced. Now . . . I’m the _other man_. I mean . . . I was with Sean, too, I suppose,” TJ ran his fingers through his hair, looking guilty and upset.

“And if Bucky and Nat were not getting divorced, they’d still avoid each other most nights. It was the excitement of you that had them interacting so much recently, TJ. That wasn’t their norm at all.” Steve leaned against the wall and pulled TJ with him, against his hard body. “And Nat would have just let any chance with Clint go, baby.”

“I don’t know, Steve,” TJ chewed on his inner cheek, pale eyes worried, “What if . . . Bucky regrets what happened in the future? What if he blames me for Natasha moving on to Clint. It is my fault, after all, like you said, Natasha would’ve never moved on to Clint. Right now, everything is so new and exciting . . . but, Steve, Bucky can _never_ marry me or you. H - - He might want that someday.”

Nodding, Steve asked softly, “did you ask Bucky any of this? Tell him your concerns?”

Sighing, TJ shook his head, “no . . . I - - I feel like all I do is worry and . . . I’m scared to point out to him that he won’t be able to get married to either of us. What if he hasn’t thought of that? Bucky . . . he might decide I’m not worth all this.”

Steve kissed TJ soundly. “I already know you’re wrong. Bucky will definitely think you’re worth this. He looks at you the way I look at you.” The tall blond smiled, “like he’s been granted time with a thoroughly decadent angel come to earth.”

“I’m not an angel, Steve,” TJ whispered brokenly, pale eyes miserable, “Bucky deserves to be able to marry again someday . . . an - - and I’m keeping that from him.”

“How are you keeping Bucky from marrying?” Steve shook his head. “He can’t marry you or me because of the law, not because of you, TJ.”

“But,” TJ pointed out softly, “because of me, he’s in this . . . relationship.”

“Which he can leave if the excitement wears off, pet. We aren’t chaining Bucky. And if he chooses to leave, he’ll be open to marrying again if he wants. But if he stayed with Natasha, they’d grow to be bitter and hate each other. Best that gets finished right now while they’re good friends.” Steve pushed TJ’s hair from his eyes.

Sighing softly, TJ still didn’t look fully convinced, “alright. I guess you’re right.”

“Ask Bucky what he thinks,” Steve smiled gently. “I’ll bet he can answer it better than I can or you can guess.”

“Okay,” TJ agreed, not giving any more to the conversation.

“I love you, TJ. You’ll see. This move will help a lot of things.” Steve tugged lightly on TJ’s hand as he straightened.

Nodding, TJ let his husband lead him back into the main living room.

Smiling at Natasha, Steve called, “we made an offer. It’s got a roof, bathrooms, and even a place for a bed! Perfect, huh?”

“Perfect,” Natasha laughed from where she’d been simply wandering the living room with Clint while Bucky was off looking at wiring. Natasha looked at Steve and TJ, immediately noting TJ’s worried appearance.

Bucky walked in. “Well, the electric and water seem sound. Did we wanna go upstairs and check the layout?”

“Too late, Buck,” Steve called, giving TJ a hug. “We already offered.”

Surprised, Bucky nodded. “Well . . . it is _your_ home. Coulda waited for my report, though . . .”

Steve gave a shrug. “Nah, fell in love with the yard view. Back there guys. Don’t touch that harp. It’s not included.”

Steve also guided Doug and Anne to check out the back rooms. The agent still stood in the large sunny room, writing, when the other five came in, so she eagerly gave them the same advice about the current music room. Anne’s breath caught and she hurried into it, testing the hidden acoustics by talking. Every word came through clearly to the attached room.

Bucky smiled. “I can see why Steve jumped at this room. It’s perfect for art.” He glanced at Nat, apparently totally at ease with Nat and her boyfriend.

Natasha smiled and nodded, taking in the beautiful room and its view of the large yard, “and Phil will go nuts for this yard!”

“And the fencing around the yard means the cats can most likely go out, too . . . can make a run along the house for them.” Bucky laughed.

“And the acoustics are gorgeous, Doug, in there,” Anne said softly, eyes shining. “Maybe we can look into a down payment or something . . .” she cut off what she’d been saying when Steve led TJ back into the large, sunlit room.

Bucky glanced over, smile slipping at TJ’s look. He sidled over, trying to get his twin away from Steve. Managing to pull TJ away with a playful growl and glare for the tall blond, Bucky walked TJ back outside, as if to take in the view. Sighing, he turned to TJ and crossed his arms. “Is Steve pushing you into a house you don’t like, brother mine?”

Looking at the grassy ground, TJ shook his head, unable to meet his brother’s eyes. “No, I like the house,” the smaller brunet commented softly.

“So why you look so upset? You sound like someone’s been kicking Phil.” Bucky frowned further, stepping closer but carefully keeping his hands to himself.

Scuffing his shoe against the ground, TJ shrugged, “I - - I . . . just worrying, what else is new?” Looking up, TJ tried to give Bucky a smile but the expression was forced and didn’t meet his pale eyes.

“You’re worrying? What about? Money? Or - - about the company that’ll be moving in?” Bucky glanced towards the house and back to TJ. “Clint’s not moving in right off, just coming over sometimes. But we can tell him to take Nat _out_ on dates instead, if you’d rather?”

“How can you be so calm about everything?” TJ asked softly, dropping his gaze once more, “I ruined your marriage . . . your soon-to-be ex-wife is moving in with us and eventually the man she cheated on you with will be moving in, too . . . I - - I just can’t understand it.”

With a sigh, Bucky sank onto the back porch railing and shook his head. “Sounds like you _do_ have a problem with Clint and Nat.”

“I don’t have a problem with them,” TJ wrapped his arms around himself, “I - - I . . . I don’t know. I’m sorry, if you’re okay with everything, there is no reason why I shouldn’t be. I’ll be fine.”

Softly, Bucky asked, “TJ, what bothers you most about what’s happening with me and Nat?” He tried to meet his brother’s eyes by ducking down to glimpse them.

“That I caused it? Ever since I got back . . . everything has gone to shit,” TJ muttered.

“Really?” Bucky shook his head. “I thought you were making things better for all of us. Look at how free and comfortable in our own skins we’ve become with your help. And Steve’s never been happier! Counseling is going good for the two of you, so I think he’ll continue to recover, too.” Offering a small smile, Bucky sat back up and said, “and I finally understand how limiting and over-protective I’ve been to Natasha, blocking her in. She was having trouble breathing in our relationship, I’d say, and now she’s happier than I’ve seen her since before Rumlow cornered her. It’s like looking at the girl I used to date once more.”

TJ shook his head, hugging himself tighter, “I guess . . . I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“TJ, I’ve never been in love with Natasha. I married her to protect her. I’d have done the same for any close friend, actually. And she needed to feel safe. She felt that way living with me. Turns out a marriage wouldn’t have been needed at all, but we jumped the gun in our naivete.” Reaching over to take TJ’s hand, Bucky said, “But I’m glad it’s ending. No more struggling to find something we want to do together. No more feeling inadequate because I feel deep friend love, but nothing more for my own wife. No more wondering if she hates me for talking her into a marriage. TJ, I’m glad to be out of the marriage and especially glad Natasha’s so happy.”

“Okay,” TJ said softly.

“Wanna know the best part?” Bucky grinned widely. “Aside from me not having to put up with Sacha all the time now?” He winked, “is because Clint’s so open to playgroups, I can stay friends with benefits with Natasha. Best of both worlds.”

Nodding, TJ said softly, “yeah, that’s good,” the smaller brunet looked back at the house and sighed softly, “I suppose we should get back . . .”

“And you’re still not happy,” Bucky sighed. He stood slowly and nodded. “Okay, brother mine. I’m not sure how I can fix things with you, but I’ll find a way, even if I have to ask Steve why you prefer to think everyone’s miserable around you.”

TJ looked down at the ground again and chewed his bottom lip. “I’m sorry? I’ll be fine, Bucky. I - - I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“TJ, something’s bugging you. Are you sure it’s Natasha and Clint or is it something about me? Because I would think you’d be relieved to find out the pair of us are happy with the changes.” Bucky ran his right hand through his long hair, worry in his pale eyes.

Looking back at Bucky, TJ sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know . . . if you say you and Natasha are happy with the divorce . . . then, I believe you.”

Shrugging, Bucky sat back against the rail again. “One way or the other really doesn’t bug me. If Natasha wants to be legally free to someday marry Clint, I’ll tear up the stupid wedding certificate myself. I really don’t care about it, never did.”

“Okay, I believe you,” TJ nodded, stepping up on the porch towards the house.

Softly, Bucky called after TJ, “but it bothers you, doesn’t it? You don’t want me divorced, TJ? Why?”

Hanging his head, hands clenched tightly into fists, his nails digging into his palms, TJ closed his eyes. “I almost ruined one marriage. I broke up, even if you said it was for the better, your’s and Natasha’s. Now, you’re in a relationship with me and Steve, you won’t be able to marry either of us.”

“Why can’t I?” Bucky asked, sounding calm and reasonable. “TJ, what’s marriage?” Bucky stepped over to his brother, taking his hand and trying to catch his eyes.

“Look, I know you’re about to go into this big speech about how marriage is about love and what not. But, love doesn’t . . .” TJ took a shaky breath and let it out, “ _legally_ love doesn’t get you shit.”

“ _Legally_ what shit do I need that I can’t get on my own, TJ?” Bucky asked.

“On your own,” TJ nodded, sighing softly, “that’s my point. You stay in this relationship with Steve and I . . . you’re on your own.”

“I am?” Bucky shook his head. “Material wise, money wise, sure, but I was separate from Natasha for bills and stuff before. The apartment is in my name, not her’s. So, non-material . . . am I still on my own?” Bucky lifted his left hand to gently trace the side of TJ’s face.

TJ closed his eyes again and leaned into Bucky’s touch, “I’m sorry, Bucky . . . you deserve better than me. I - - I’m not worth any of this.”

“And there you’re wrong,” Bucky dropped into a low growl. “You stop saying you’re not worth it. I can very well tell what I’m worth. You tell me you ain’t an angel, so you’ve gotta be worth it, because the only thing _I_ ain’t worth is a god-damned angel, Teej. I _love_ you. Isn’t _that_ important?”

Looking at Bucky, TJ simply watched his twin for a few moments before hugging Bucky tightly, clutching desperately at his brother’s shirt. TJ buried his face in Bucky’s neck and let out a shuddering breath.

“Nat figured it out before I did, TJ. She knew I’d fallen _in love_ with you. Who was I to argue? Never argue with Natasha.” Bucky kissed TJ’s neck, “especially when she’s not lying.”

“I’m just scared you’re gonna wake up one day and realize . . .” TJ whimpered softly, still hugging his twin tightly, “th - - that you’re gonna leave me. It’s selfish . . . but I don’t want you to leave . . . even if you can’t get married again. I - - I don’t think I could live without you, Bucky.”

Bucky kissed TJ softly and smiled into his brother’s eyes. “You cut me off telling you about marriage. To me, it’s just a piece of paper for other people to look at. To me, marriage is private and between two or more people for as long as they wish. If you wanna get married, I’ll exchange vows with you before Steve and our friends. But I don’t feel like a minister or justice or whatever matters.” Bucky kissed TJ again. “I _love_ you, and to me, that’s more important than some paper made up by some long ago dead politician or preacher.”

Keening softly, TJ gripped Bucky’s shirt tightly, wanting so much more of his brother. “I love you, too, Buck. I - - I . . . God, I miss you so much,” TJ whispered, his lips only a breath away from Bucky’s.

“We’ll be together again once we get this house, brother mine,” Bucky promised. “So, let’s fnish this fuckin’ tour and make it happen, yeah?” He led TJ back to the group.

After a bit more looking around, verifying the floors upstairs were what they wanted and needed, and everyone getting a look at the basement, upon Steve’s insistence, finally the group headed back to their apartments in New York. They all gathered in Bucky and Nat’s place since it was bigger.

Bucky threw himself into his chair and sighed. “Shoulda got a hotel room and stayed the night over the bridge,” he complained, running his hands up his face and through his long hair.

TJ hummed absently and curled into Steve’s lap once his husband sat down in a chair.

Steve cuddled TJ and nuzzled his neck. “Now we wait and see if the man accepts the bid.” He was relieved that TJ seemed happier; his talk with Bucky seemed to have helped a lot.

TJ watched his twin from Steve’s lap, it had been hard to keep their touches strictly platonic over the last three weeks, aside from the two stolen kisses at the house earlier. Now that he’d gotten a taste of Bucky’s touch, he didn’t want to give it up. He loved Steve; he’d never leave Steve, but something about his twin’s love was special, so different from Steve’s.

Bucky offered his brother a wicked smile, but kept his hands still, not touching, not even teasing by touching himself. He refused to push things while they were in a precarious position. But Bucky really did want to taste, to fill his twin again. He knew that most of the world thought he was going to hell for such desires, but Bucky couldn’t help it. He felt natural with TJ. And loved how Natasha encouraged their love; he loved his soon-to-be ex-wife even more for that, even if it was a love that didn’t compare with what he felt for TJ.

TJ squirmed in Steve’s lap, enticed by the wicked smile.

Seeing his brother’s reaction Bucky stood and headed for his kitchen, beginning to get dinner together. He didn’t want to torment TJ. Muttering, he said, “shoulda got a hotel tonight.”

Steve ran his hand over TJ’s stomach. He smiled and said, “TJ and I are going upstairs. Doug, Anne, come say goodnight. We’ll make sure to see you in the morning.”

TJ keened softly, nuzzling Steve’s neck, trying to keep his mind off his brother’s wicked smile and the thoughts that lie beneath it.

Anne walked over and hugged TJ, “night, sweetheart,” she muttered, having gotten comfortable with calling him by the endearment over their vacation together.

“Goodnight,” TJ managed to mutter. He hugged his brother when Doug came over. TJ looked up at Steve, letting out a small needy noise.

Clint grabbed his jacket with a sigh. “I’ll walk you guys out. Gotta get going, too.” He gave Natasha a small kiss and smiled at her. “Lucky needs walkies.” Clint preceded the other pair from the apartment.

Nodding, Steve forced TJ to stand before rising to his own feet. “Natasha . . . might have a breech of discipline,” he called on a laugh as he guided his husband out the door, calling goodnight to Clint’s retreating back and getting a wave in return. Without another word, Steve led TJ upstairs and into their own room. He shut the door firmly then turned to TJ. “Strip.” he said as he walked past him.

Mewling, TJ quickly removed his clothing, letting them fall to the floor. His body vibrated with need and he turned to look at Steve.

Steve stripped off his clothes carefully, folding them before setting them on the coffee table. He looked over at TJ. Cocking an eyebrow, he said, “a bit messy tonight, pet?”

“I . . . I need you, sir, please,” TJ begged, seeming unaware of Steve’s hint.

“You need _me_?” Steve shook his head. “No, I think my boy want someone else inside him tonight.” He walked over to TJ and cupped his face, kissing him soundly. “But that’s okay. Because I gotcha, baby. I’ll draw off the worst of it, okay?”

Whimpering, TJ nodded, “yes, sir. Thank you . . .”

“Lesson one, sweetheart,” Steve smiled, “I know what you need. I gotcha.” He ran a hand over TJ’s neck, kneading the tight muscles there. “All this waiting had my baby stiff . . . everywhere,” Steve dropped his other hand to TJ’s member and squeezed the fullness.

Groaning, TJ’s head fell back and his hips canted into Steve’s strong hand. “Sir . . .”

“Any idea what you have a craving for, pet?” Steve smiled, showing TJ that it didn’t bother him to actually be a standin for Bucky that night. He knew that most nights, TJ was fully his own. But the twins needed each other now that they’d found one another. And he wasn’t going to get in the way if they could legally let the pair love each other as they needed to.

“Need to be filled so full, sir,” TJ whimpered.

“Filled by Bucky?” Steve purred.

TJ let out a whimpering keen, “yes, sir . . .”

Nodding, Steve said, “want you to get on the bed, lube up good, and use your plug he gave you. You got seven minutes before you’re going to be fucked hard.” He never used that toy with TJ before, so his husband’s body would recall Bucky as the last one to fuck him that way.

Moaning, TJ gave a quick, “yes, sir,” before scurrying off to the bedroom.

Steve smiled. He figured he would only use the multi-purpose plug with TJ if his husband longed for Bucky and couldn’t have him for whatever reason. And Steve would limit himself to the low growls and moans Bucky was fond of. He could handle a bit of role play for TJ. He gave his husband preparation time while he pulled out his phone and texted Natasha what his solution had been for TJ, at least. He wasn’t sure how she’d help Bucky . . . but Bucky was the stronger brother and might be able to wait. He lubed himself up so he could get right to work.

When Steve entered the bedroom, TJ was on the bed, the plug already inside him. He was on all fours and he panted needily.

With saying anything, Steve stepped a bit hard for his very first step into the room, as a warning he was entering. He strode up and grabbed TJ’s hips, purposely letting his left hand work at a weaker hold. Leaning over, he kissed the back of TJ’s neck.

TJ keened, his back bowing slightly as he pushed back, “please . . . oh - - please!”

Knowing he couldn’t imitate Bucky’s voice, even if he knew the words to say, Steve merely lined himself up and forced himself into the anal plug slowly, bit by bit, unlike his own clean smooth long stroke. Once he was embedded real deep, he counted one heartbeat and began thrusting, hard, holding TJ, his right hand almost bruising while he curved the fingers of his left hand.

Moaning loud, TJ met Steve’s pace, pushing the blond and the toy just a little deeper. The brunet knew it wasn’t his brother inside him, but the toy and how Steve held him helped ease his desperate need for his twin.

Steve made a low moan and continued the deep, almost brutal pace. He loved how TJ sounded, loved being able to help in some way. The object wasn’t to fool his husband but to _help_ the illusion, the fantasy. Steve leaned over and began to kiss at TJ’s neck, gentle despite his ramming hips, no teeth, no tongue. Bucky seemed to be a guy who concentrated mostly on one place, one rhythm. He kept up the grunts, the growls, and the pace, slamming the toy over TJ’s prostate once in awhile, bringing to mind what he’d watched of the loveplay between the twins.

Whenever the toy touched his prostate, TJ would cry out in pleasure. His erection was already weeping and leaking precum on the bed. The pace was so similar to what Bucky would use that he was already getting close.

Steve let out an intense growl and thrust hard, dragging over TJ’s prostate again, counting in his mind before once more hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves. In a low, muttering voice, he growled out, “cum for me, brother mine. Without touching,” keeping his voice intentionally low and muttering to mask the differences to the sex-addled TJ.

Hearing the words, and the continual pounding to his prostate, made TJ shout as he came. “B - - Bucky!”

Steve gently kisses his husband’s neck, continuing his thrusts for a moment before pulling out, though he didn’t cum. He lowered TJ to the bed, to one side of the mess, and cuddled around him, growling softly into TJ’s ear. He waited for TJ to come down, his body to lose that building tension he’d had for the last three weeks or so. Soon, Steve would be able to give TJ the real thing when he’d behaved, instead of just the fantasy.

Panting, TJ nuzzled Steve’s chest; after a few minutes of deep breathing, TJ muttered, “thank you, sir.”

“Steve tonight, babydoll. Can’t wait to reward you with your brother. You’re so good.” He kissed TJ’s neck and nipped lightly, purposely showing the difference. He reached down and eased the plug out of TJ and lay it aside. “You are beautiful, my love.”

Smiling, TJ nuzzled at Steve again, finally beginning to settle down. Though the need for his twin was still there, it was a lot more manageable.

Brushing TJ’s hair from his eyes, Steve didn’t indulge in a discussion after the brief scene. It wasn’t that kind of play. He merely cuddled his husband and let TJ rest. He whispered, “I love you, TJ. My beautiful husband. TJ Rogers. All mine.”

Humming happily, TJ nodded, “all your’s, Steve.”

“Soon, my love, soon I’ll reward my good boy with his twin.” He kissed TJ’s lips, smiling, feeling happy. For Steve, their love had never been about _Steve_ orgasming, and TJ knew that. He knew his husband wouldn’t feel guilty that Steve was still erect, because it was what Steve wanted. So he rubbed his member along the curve of TJ’s member, sliding between his thighs to settle with a contented sigh. “Sleep, baby.”

“Mm’kay,” TJ settled down on the bed and quickly fell asleep.

Once Steve was sure his lover had drifted off, he reached to the bedside to scoop up his phone. He glanced at Natasha’s message, flicking his thumb over the screen and responding that TJ was good for the moment and sleeping. He asked how things had gone with Bucky then settled back to wait for Natasha to get free to tell him. He wondered what kind of scene they were playing out downstairs.

A text came through about ten minutes later telling Steve that Bucky was fine, that she’d gotten his mind off of his predicament.

Smiling, Steve typed back that he was glad they’d found a way. He texted, _’I offered the asking price so he’d take my offer instead of others. Just a few days more.’_

Natasha’s text came through within seconds, showing that she’d most likely written the message before she’d received Steve’s last text, _’Elaine’s here.’_

Surprised, Steve texted back, _’On my way, TJ’s sleeping. ‘_ He eased out of bed and covered his lover carefully. Slipping into loose sweatpants, feeling his erection ebbing, thankfully, Steve grabbed a blue t-shirt without thinking and tugged it on. He absently thought about the fact that he needed to replace the damn thing. Slipping from the room, Steve wrote a note out to TJ that he was going to Nat’s place before he left, still in bare feet. Checking his phone, Steve nodded at the silence and headed downstairs, knocking at Natasha’s door.

Natasha opened the door a few moments later, looking a little annoyed. She ushered Steve inside; Elaine sat on the couch, proper as ever, as she chatted with Anne and Doug. Bucky was nowhere in sight. Clint hadn’t returned, so that was one less thing for Elaine to get involved in: no one had yet told her about the impending divorce.

Steve offered a welcoming smile, heading for the kitchen sink to wash his hands before coming over to Elaine. He finished drying them and offered one to his mother-in-law. “Ma’am, a pleasure to see you, if a little late.” He sank down. “But you aren’t here for just socializing. What’s happened?” Steve knew a presidential candidate didn’t just drop everything to jet up to her son’s place for the night.

Elaine looked over at Steve and her eyes hardened, “I couldn’t stop TJ from marrying you, but I will _not_ have him get arrested because of your bad influence.”

Nodding, Steve said, “Okay. Arrested for what?” He kept his voice calm, reasonable, unlike most of the people she challenged in her field. Steve also made no move to usher Natasha, Doug, or Anne from the room, as if there was nothing to hide. He hoped Elaine didn’t know about their involvement in whatever thing she thought was going on. He knew that nothing illegal had happened in public; they’d damn well checked while still in Colorado, and had been very careful since.

She reached into her briefcase and pulled out several pictures; she slapped them down on the table and slid them over to Steve. There were photographs of Steve, TJ, Bucky and Natasha visiting town while in Colorado, Steve leading TJ around on the leash.

Steve knew instantly what her problem was. He also knew that they had done absolutely nothing to be arrested for. But, wanting to make a point, Steve merely slid the pictures closer with an angelic smile of pleasure. “Beautiful, isn’t he?”

“You’re leading him around on a leash . . . _like a dog_ ,” Elaine snapped.

“Yes, had to special order it for him as a wedding gift. It wasn’t there in time for the ceremony.” Glancing up, a sinful angel, Steve offered, “did you want to see the wedding photo’s?”

Elaine’s eyes narrowed and she growled, “you are a bad influence on him.”

“How so?” Steve tilted his head and turned the best photo back to her. “Have you ever seen him happier? Since you forced him to come out, that is. Making him jump through political hoops . . . _like a dog_.”

Doug watched the two battle it out with wide eyes, his skin pale. Anne’s hand was tight in her husband’s, nervous but not interrupting. Steve had to fight this one for TJ and himself - - and it looked like no one could help.

Elaine’s jaw ticked and she glared at Steve, “have you even considered you could be arrested for illegally restraining him? A human being _does not_ belong on a leash, Steve. This slavery thing you have going on violates his Constitutional Rights.”

Sitting back, nodding, Steve addressed her in the same manner he addressed the others when he was calming and guiding them on something they didn’t know or understand, almost like a teacher or parent with a worried child. “One thing at a time, Ma’am. Leading someone by a leash is not slavery. I agree, treating someone like chattel, like a disposable, saleable object is deplorable. Slavery should have ended before it ever began. Thank God, TJ’s too smart to stray too far and get himself caught by the illegal white slavers that still operate in this country by the hundreds.” He met her eyes. “A president would do best to crack down on that.”

Leaning forward, he asked, “and speaking of human rights, have you, possibly, heard of _legal consent_? Maybe even _consensual nonconsent_? Oh, wait . . . maybe I should go more basic for you. Obviously this isn’t your kink. Have you heard of _BDSM_? Leashes are a part of that.” He smiled down at TJ’s pictures again. “And TJ does love to be guided and supported. He was so grateful for his pretty leashes. You should see the pearl one I got him.” He looked up, “and if he agrees to wear a leash, it’s not illegal restraint. It’s fashion, even, in some places.”

Elaine narrowed her eyes even further, “you are no better than the monster that hurt him. You hurt him and treat him like he is nothing better than your _dog_.”

“Mom!” Doug finally snapped.

“Did you know,” Steve interrupted Doug with his calm, almost nonchalant tone, “that the day I gave TJ his leash, Doug pulled me aside, adamant about law and safety and such? He had me review the laws in several places concerning what I and my husband were doing. And, interestingly, BDSM is not strictly illegal if it’s consensual. Also, without a public complaint, or even a private complaint, it is not illegal? Did,” Steve looked at her, “you wish to press charges against me for holding the leash that TJ wore while in a public setting? _Or_ against TJ for wearing a leash?” He actually made it sound like an either-or question.

Elaine stiffened, watching Steve closely.

Steve pulled out his phone slowly, so she wouldn’t startle. He dialed TJ’s phone, knowing it was set to ring loudly and wake him up. Steve never removed his eyes from his mother-in-law’s face.

“Hello?” TJ’s groggy voice answered.

“TJ? Your mother’s come to visit. She’s at Bucky’s. Did you want to talk to her?” Steve dropped his tone to one of loving support. “She’s worried about you.”

“When isn’t she,” TJ grumbled, still sounding drowsy.

“Oh, but this time she’s got reason. Wanna come down and talk or should I handle this?” Steve offered, sill meeting Elaine’s eyes.

Steve could hear TJ shifting out of the bed, sighing, “I’ll be down in a second.”

“I’ll let her know,” he said. “I love you, baby. And don’t come nude.”

Elaine’s eyes widened at Steve’s words; did TJ really need to be ordered to wear clothing? Or did Steve refuse her son clothes now that they were married?

Steve hung up and tucked away the phone, looking back over the photos with a sweet smile. “Beautiful. See, Natasha?” he held one out for her to see.

Natasha took the picture and smiled, “very pretty,” she agreed.

A few minutes later TJ walked in without knocking. His hair was sticking up wildly from just waking up; he wore a pair of tight jeans and one of Steve’s new flannels and his normal, heart embossed black at-home collar. He rubbed his eyes as he walked over to where everyone was sitting.

Elaine stood up and immediately walked over to her oldest son. She wrapped her arms around him, tightly, protectively. “Tommy, are you okay, sweetie?”

“I’m _fine_ ,” TJ assured, “why are you worried?”

She glared over his shoulder at Steve and kept him tucked against her, like she used to do when he was little. “We’re going, baby. Now. You won’t spend another minute with . . .”

Steve held the pictures out, “see the pictures, TJ? You look radiant.”

TJ pulled away from Elaine and looked down at the pictures Steve was showing him. He grinned at his husband.

“That must have been taken by paparazzi on the fourth day of our honeymoon. The day I gave you your leashes. Your mother is, very rightly, concerned that you are in a dangerous relationship. That I am forcing you to act like a dog or a slave. That I’m abusing you like . . . someone else.” He wouldn’t push far enough to name TJ’s rapist, but he left the meaning pretty clear.

Elaine reached for TJ and cupped his face. “Stockholm Syndrome, Tommy,” she breathed in a worried voice.

TJ ripped his face from her touch and backed up, closer to Steve, “my _husband_ is not abusing me. He only does things _I ask for_. If you would pull your head out of your ass for one second you would see that I am finally _happy_.”

Her jaw dropped open and she looked absolutely stunned, much as she had when TJ said he wished she’d let him die. “Tommy . . .” she whispered, pain in her tones, “he’s got you on a leash and asking permission to wear clothes . . .”

“I _asked for the leashes_ ,” TJ snapped.

“Permission to wear clothes? Now, that _would_ be kinky. But, not _my_ kink. I prefer TJ able to walk out the door whenever he chooses. I’m not into master-slave kink.” Steve’s tone remained calm, as if there was no drama happening, as if Elaine was complaining about the wrong juice in her cup. “TJ? When you heard about Doug’s worry over BDSM laws, what did we learn?” He blatantly left out the incest laws, signaling TJ, he hoped, that she still had no clue about that.

“BDSM is legal between consensual adults,” TJ reported, looking at his mother, eyes firm.

“And, feel free to explain to your mother just what form of BDSM we play, if you think it’ll help her understand the difference with us and any former person you were with?” Steve offered a warm, loving smile to his husband, opening his arms to him.

TJ sat down on Steve’s lap, though he still looked at his mother, “Mom, Steve has never done anything to me without asking me first. I trust him not to hurt me, to give me what I want.”

Elaine sank onto her chair and reached over for TJ’s hands, trying to enclose them in her’s. “Tommy, why would you want anyone to hurt you? Hit you? Chain you up and rape you?” She shook her head, worry and something akin to horror in her voice.

“Rape me?” TJ pulled his hands from her’s, “Steve has never, not once, raped me.”

“She doesn’t understand the kink, TJ,” Steve said calmly, not offended. “She came here because she saw the pictures and thought you were being held against your will, being abused and tortured into submission.”

“No, she saw the pictures and thought of how they could hurt her political run,” TJ snapped, eyes flashing.

Chuckling, Steve shook his head, “TJ, do you think she’s foolish enough to believe that the BDSM community is so small as to not be an important vote for her? The alternate lifestyles voters would latch onto such a supporter.” He watched Elaine, saw the moment she registered that she may have misjudged the voter numbers, though it was only her eyes that gave her away.

TJ laughed bitterly and he stood back up, heading towards the door, “I am _not_ being another tool for you to use to get more votes, _mother_.”

Steve didn’t stop TJ, but he did say, loud enough to register with his husband, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, looks like you might have misjudged things here. We know the legality of what we’re doing and where it isn’t legal. We love one another and have full consensual nonconsent, and I’d be willing to sign a legal document; however, that smacks on a slave contract,” he leaned forward, “which has been illegal in the United States since 1865. You son has asked for his fashion accessories, and I have given him the ones he wants. Check the red carpet and verify that these are legitimate fashion pieces, if you need to. Those pearls were not some cheap dimestore knock off, and neither is his _Braided Patriot_ set. Obviously someone in the jewelry business knows how some men and women prefer collars and such.” He rose to his feet. “I understand you don’t want him hurt, and if he ever winds up in the hospital or even a doctor’s office for what we do, I’ll be the first to concede that I’ve gone too far. But until that day, ma’am, you have no legal cause to invade my privacy nor the privacy of your son. Please, leave us alone if you’re only here for yourself.” He stepped past Natasha, offering the other three a smile, “good night. We’re exhausted.” Steve left, offering his hand to TJ from the hallway, not speaking.

TJ took the hand with a smile, not saying anything.

In the hall, Steve wrapped his arms around his husband and looked back at the Secretary of State. “And, Elaine?” he dropped the polite titles, “ _I’m_ not the one treating TJ like a dog. Good night.” He shut the door and led his beloved up to their own apartment.

Elaine looked at Doug, eyes wide, stunned speechless for once.

Doug sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t know what you expected to happen, Mom.”

She growled softly, “I expected TJ to be reasonable about the risk. Pierce sent those to me.” She left the pictures where they were and stood. “Doug, you’ll be back from vacation tomorrow, correct?” She looked in her purse.

“Yeah, Mom,” Doug let out a breath, running his hand down his face. He didn’t like that _Alexander Pierce_ , the man that they expected had leaked the videos of TJ’s attack, had been the one to send his mother those pictures.

“I’ve got to get back tonight. Those are going to press and I have to prepare against the ramifications of TJ on a leash while he’s accusing someone of raping him.” She shook her head. “I’d ask you to stay and talk sense into him, but with that man guarding him, it’ll be impossible. Come home quickly so we can work on this latest fiasco your brother's created.”

Softly, almost too soft to be heard by his mother, Doug said, “he really is happy, Mom.”

Head snapping up, she frowned, pulling her keys from her purse. “And he was happy stoned out of his mind on cocaine, too, Dougie. Tomorrow, before noon. Good night, Anne, Natasha.” Elaine headed out the door with an angry click to her heels, all the way down the hall and steps, her secret servicemen following in silence.

Anne turned to Doug with wide eyes, reaching over to take his hand.

Doug shook his head, squeezing his wife’s hand, “she is right. There _are_ going to be people that won’t believe he didn’t want what Brock gave him when those pictures hit the press.”

Bucky shuffled from the bedroom, yawning, his sweatpants riding low on his hips. He rubbed at his eyes. “What’s going on?” He looked utterly exhausted still from his session.

“You aunt came for an impromptu visit,” Natasha explained, walking over to her tired husband and dragging a nail down his spine.

He hummed in pleasure, arching. “Oh, I thought I was dreaming she was giving some political speech or something. So, what’d she want?” He turned and grinned sleepily at his wife.

“Pictures of TJ on a leash came to her from _Alexander Pierce_ ,” Natasha explained, face serious.

Bucky instantly knew what that meant and he swore, waking up quickly. “Shit! Need to call his lawyers . . . TJ’s,” he said. “How late is it? Would they be awake?”

“James, calm down,” Natasha said firmly, “I am sure Bud is already on top of all the legal aspects.”

Eyes lighting, Bucky pulled his phone from the kitchen counter. “I’ll talk to Bud. I may have an angle, but I need to see if it’s even viable. How are we gonna tell TJ or Steve?” He began dialing.

“They already know . . . about the pictures not about Pierce, your aunt didn’t share that information until after they left - - in a dramatic fashion, I must say,” Natasha answered.

“Sounds about right,” Bucky said, “ah, Uncle Bud. Before Aunt Elaine gets back, I heard about the pictures. You’ve seen them?” Bucky saw the photos and began looking through them, a soft smiling coming to his lips for his twin’s utter happiness in those shots.

“Oh, yeah,” Bud answered.

“He’s was so happy that day and Pierce and the press wanna wreck it,” Bucky sighed. “I thought maybe you could use some angle? Probably already thought of it, but something like “No is _no_ , and fashion doesn’t make consent? Not really awake here . . .”

“We could work that,” Bud approved, “I’m already speaking with his lawyers.”

“Great. Do they advice he avoid the leash in public or not? I mean, he did nothing wrong, illegal, or promiscuous by wearing it.” Bucky looked towards Doug with a smile.

“They seem to think that wearing a leash shouldn’t affect his case against Rumlow. It wasn’t like he was wearing one when that asshat attacked him,” Bud explained.

“Right. Rumlow was notably ignoring his withdrawal of consent. Any way to touch up those photos and really show his happiness? A direct contrast to the pain and horror from the Brock videos?” Bucky suggested, trying to think of different advertising and modeling techniques he’d learned in his one media class from university.

“Already working on it, Bucky,” Bud laughed, “get some sleep, son. I’ll keep you updated.”

Bucky breathed low and laughed softly. “Thanks, Uncle Bud. Oh, and Aunt Elaine was here harassing TJ. I’m not sure how that went down, but I get the feeling not so good for Elaine. She left on a dramatic reveal, I was told. Me, I was trying to sleep in the bedroom so missed the fireworks.”

“Dammit. I tried to tell her not to go down. But once she gets her head on something . . . it’s damn near impossible to get her off it,” Bud swore.

Bucky met his wife’s eyes and asked, without covering the phone, “how’d it go with Aunt Elaine and TJ, Natasha?” He held the phone so Bud could get the answer, too.

“Well, after your Aunt accused Steve of raping TJ it pretty much went downhill from there. Ending with TJ storming out, saying he wasn’t going to be another one of her tools to get votes,” Natasha explained loud enough that Bud would be able to hear her.

Bucky swore.

Anne added, “and Steve basically told Elaine not to contact TJ. TJ let that go and they left.”

“Hear that, Uncle Bud?” Bucky said, tones worried. It must have been horrible for Steve to make such a demand.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll speak to her when she gets back,” Bud answered.

“Thanks, Uncle Bud. I’ll make sure TJ cools down, too. Get him outta the house for a bit. Clear his head. See ya,” Bucky said, reaching for his wallet and keys. Hanging up after Bud said goodbye, Bucky turned to the others. “I’m gonna take TJ on a date. You guys can come if you want, but it's happening. He needs it.” He shoved his feet in his sneakers and grabbed his jacket to put over his naked chest. Bucky left the room.


	19. Long Awaited Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flash-back and post-rape discussion

TJ sat in his apartment, simply curled up in Steve’s arms on their couch. The fight with his aunt had shaken him; he couldn’t believe she had actually compared Steve to Brock! That she thought Steve was a horrible monster that was keeping him locked up. Why couldn’t she see how happy Steve made him?

Bucky opened the door without asking. He claimed, in a growl, ‘Uncle Bud and your lawyers said wearing your leash in public is advised. They’re going for the _‘fashion is not consent’_ angle. So, let’s get the fuck outta here, TJ, and get some air. Bring the leash of your choice if you want. I’d be happy to hold it for you.”

Steve patted TJ’s hip and smiled, kissing him. “You wanna go with Bucky, pet?”

Eyes wide, watching his brother, TJ nodded, “yes, sir.”

Nodding, Bucky headed for the bedroom and began rooting through TJ’s collars and leashes then the toybox. “Get changed if you wanna . . . maybe something real pretty?”

TJ looked at Steve.

Steve trusted Bucky not to break the law, even if he wanted his brother, so he nodded. “Go ahead. Enjoy your date, TJ.”

“W - - what should I wear?” TJ asked breathlessly.

“Well, Bucky hasn’t seen you in that iridescent red yet; that with the maroon double zip jeans would be sexy as hell. If you trust Bucky, wear that. If you don’t trust him, wear what you already are.” He offered a kiss to his husband. “And a matching collar and leash? I think the black with red rhinestones we picked up while in Colorado?”

Nodding, a wide smile on his face, TJ hurried into the bedroom to get changed.

“TJ? Mind if I go play with the others while you’re out? I don’t expect you back until morning,” Steve smiled widely. “But I can sleep here if you’d rather.”

Calling from the bedroom doorway, TJ answered, “you can play, Steve!”

Nodding, approving that TJ had remembered that he was to be Steve, not sir, that night, Steve got up and grabbed some water bottles. “I’m putting water on the counter in case you guys get thirsty. Lock up behind you?” He grabbed his wallet, keys, phone, and inhaler, not bothering with ropes. Natasha had some of those, and he wanted to practice being tied down. Natasha knew how to do that safely. He shut the door softly as he left.

Bucky glanced up while TJ pulled on the shirt. He licked his lips and went back to rooting through the toy box. He grabbed a towel and wrapped a few things inside then stood. He looked forward to their date. TJ wasn’t the only one who needed this contact, Elaine and the world be damned.

TJ finished getting dressed in the red outfit Steve had suggested and looked over at Bucky, “where are we going?”

“A motel,” he answered promptly. “You look hot, Teej.”

Flushing, a wide grin spreading over his pretty features, TJ said, “so do you, Buck. C - - can we go?”

“I’m in old sweats and a jacket,” he laughed. “And don’t you worry. No one’s gonna see us doing anything illegal. Let’s go. I’ll get an uber or cab or something.” He pulled out his phone as he gestured to TJ’s messenger bag. “Give me that? Need to carry the water and towel.” Bucky turned and told the driver where he wanted to go, his voice low, inaudible to his twin.

TJ immediately grabbed the bag and handed it to Bucky with an excited glint in his eyes.

Smiling, Bucky slid the rolled towel into the bag then a couple pair of undies, a boxer briefs of Steve’s in dull grey and a pair of plain white briefs of TJ’s. He hung up. “Let’s get the water and your collar and leash. Red collar, Teej.” He walked out without explaining why he was bringing extra undies.

Mewling softly, TJ quickly changed out of his black collar and fastened his red one on; he grabbed its matching leash before following Bucky out.

Bucky closed the bag and grabbed the looped handle of TJ’s leash. “C’mon. Going out in style, Teej.” He tugged very gently, not believing in choking kink, and guided his twin from the apartment. “Got your keys and wallet and phone?” He reminded.

“Yes, Buck,” TJ nodded.

“I’ve got a good big brother,” Bucky crowed and shut the door, letting it lock.

With a grin, Bucky walked down the steps beside his twin, proudly holding the leash high so Peter, coming home later, could run up between them. The teen turned and called, “hey! Nice! Wish Aunt May would let me get a leash!”

TJ grinned at Bucky.

Bucky laughed. “Think we can hook him up with Wade? That guy seems the dom kind if ever I met one.” He got TJ down to the curb.

“Oh, yeah,” TJ laughed, standing as close as he could to Bucky.

Turning a wink on his twin, Bucky added, “and Peter’s seen the scars already. Gotta find out if it bothers the kid, first.” He waved to flag down the Uber, opening the door and handing his brother into the back seat with a smile. Settling next to his brother, Bucky leaned forward. “You know the place?”

The driver agreed he knew the address that Bucky had given over the phone. The ride was smooth, silent, and short through the dark streets, over a bridge, and pulling up in front of a reasonably nice looking motel.

“Thanks,” Bucky said and handed his twin from the car. He paid the driver and watched him drive away.

TJ looked up at the motel and then turned his smile to Bucky.

“Let’s get a room, TJ,’ Bucky said, still moving TJ at that same whirlwind pace. He got them checked in and to a room. Unlocking the door, Bucky opened the door, looked in, and smiled widely. He held the door wide. “Inside, brother mine.”

Walking inside, TJ’s eyes caught on the one, queen-sized bed in the center of the room.

The door shut firmly behind Bucky and he let the bag fall to the floor with a soft thump. He watched the realization come over TJ that they weren’t there for just a sleepover. Bucky couldn’t help the continual wide smile. “So pretty . . .”

TJ turned around to look at his brother, “we’re in Jersey, aren’t we?”

Nodding, Bucky walked over and gripped TJ’s hips. “Yes, we are,” he said.

“That means . . .” TJ grinned, watching his brother closely.

“I wanna fuck you . . . and make love to you . . . and have my way with you . . .” Bucky growled softly. He leaned in and sealed his mouth over TJ’s, pushing his tongue inside as he ground his member into TJ’s.

Moaning into Bucky’s lips, TJ wrapped his hands in Bucky’s hair and deepened the kiss, all his desperation and need bubbling up again. His brother felt so good, so right. “Yes, Bucky. Fuck me . . . love me . . .” TJ whimpered, his long fingers tightening in Bucky’s hair.

Bucky pulled away with a smile. “But I got some stuff I wanna try on you, Teej. I know you’ve been wanting it.” He ground their members together again. “Want?”

“Yes, yes . . . green, oh - - yes,” TJ moaned again, eyes already blown.

Laughing, Bucky nodded. “Yeah, I’m learning that,” he kissed his brother. “Okay, first off, Natasha’s rules are we are open about it upfront. Especially since you and me are new to this together. So, I’m gonna put you through a scene in which I rip off your clothes, tie you up, and fuck you like I picked up some innocent and know you want it but you wanna be a good boy and stay pure. That sound good?”

TJ groaned at the whole idea, “Oh, yes . . . please, Buck.”

“Okay, after we come down from that, we’re gonna do the entire bathing thing, and we’re getting dressed again. And then I’m gonna take you to dinner, since we both haven’t eaten. But at dinner, I’m gonna have you filled and caged. That good?” Bucky kept his hands still, not trying to distract TJ from honest consent.

TJ looked at Bucky, eyes wide and he nodded, “yes . . . yes, that’s good.”

Nodding, Bucky added, “after dinner, I’m bringing you back and making love to you, massage and everything. Then, after coming down again, another bath. I pull off the towels, we’ll use towels to cover the bed, then we sleep. And in the morning, I’ll wake you up with my cock in your ass. I’ll have my way with you.”

Mewling, TJ nodded again, “yes, yes to everything you just said. I want it. I want it all, Buck.”

“Okay, so right now I want you outta that outfit, pull on the briefs from the bag. I’m gonna get into Steve’s and we’ll fix up the bed. Then we’re going for a walk . . . no collar or leash until dinner. Doesn't work for the willing unwilling virgin scene.” Bucky opened the bag, revealing the red rope that Steve hadn’t yet used with TJ, several anal plugs, lube, a pair of scissors, and TJ’s cock cage of leather with metal rings. Bucky grinned up at TJ. “Like?”

“Yes,” TJ nodded, already working on undressing himself to pull on the briefs that Bucky had brought. He pulled them on before redressing back in his outfit. TJ saw the scissors but decided not to ask, wanting to leave their part a small little surprise. He knew Bucky wouldn’t hurt him with them so he wasn’t too concerned.

Smiling, Bucky pulled off his pants, revealing he wasn’t wearing underpants, and tugged on Steve’s boxers, which were a loose fit but not falling off. He pulled back on the sweatpants. “Collar off, brother, we’re going for a walk. You walk to the end of the pool area and back towards the room, okay?” Bucky held up his hand, “and if this goes wacky for you, or feels wrong, remember _red_ , right?”

“Red,” TJ nodded, echoing his brother as he removed the collar and set it carefully on top of the dresser.

“And, TJ?” Bucky said, voice softer. “If I ask _ready_ , that means _check in_ , too, okay?”

“Okay,” TJ confirmed with a nod

To Bucky, _check in_ felt like it broke scene, but _ready_ was more natural, felt right. He pocketed his room key but left the rest on the desk.

TJ slipped out of the room, leaving slightly before his twin.

He heard Bucky walk out and shut the door right behind him but no following footsteps.

TJ walked down the sidewalk and headed towards the pool area. The swimming pool was empty, not surprising considering that it was early November. The lean brunet walked around the entire pool, even bending down to pretend to check the temperature of the water. He took a deep breath and turned to begin walking back towards the room.

Once TJ got to the closest part of the pool, nearest the building, Bucky stepped from the side path and smiled, charmingly. “Hey, you just moved in, didn’t you? Saw the truck.”

Mustering his best, most innocent smile, TJ nodded, “just this morning.”

Nodding, Bucky held out his hand, “well, I’m the unofficial welcome wagon. Name’s Buck. Don’t let the busy bodies on the block fool ya, I’m not as bad as they paint me.”

Shaking Bucky’s hand, still putting on the innocent boyish charm act, TJ said, “I’m TJ, it’s real nice to meet you, Buck.”

Letting go TJ’s hand, Bucky easily let his hand drop to the small of TJ’s back, as if companionably guiding him. “So, seen the library yet? Or the theatre? See anything?” He already felt a tightening at the pure pretty innocence in TJ’s look and voice.

“Oh, no,” TJ giggled, shaking his head, “I haven’t got the chance to look around yet.”

“Hey, I got a real nice tree house. Wanna come check it out? Sturdy walls, even a video game setup.” Bucky smiled charmingly.

Looking excited, TJ grinned, “that sounds fun, Buck. Thanks.”

“Well, you look like a nice boy. Want you to feel welcome in our little town.” Bucky began walking TJ and his hand slipped lower to caress his brother’s ass. “Oh, Sorry,” he said and moved his hand back up to TJ’s waist.

Flushing, though really out of want, but it played out as out of embarrassment, TJ swallowed and flashed Bucky a nervous, sweet smile, “that’s okay, Buck.”

Bucky nodded. “You sure are pretty. Do you model?” He gestured towards the motel they slowly approached. “Right up here, TJ.”

Following Bucky, TJ flushed again, “you think so?” His tongue darted out to wet his lips.

Tracing a finger down TJ’s cheek, Bucky nodded. “Yeah, you gonna go into drama on campus?” Bucky set their ages as college, hoping that felt okay to TJ.

“How’d you know? I’m a drama major,” TJ giggled.

“Well, a pretty freshman coming to our town in mid-semester? Has to be a drama scholarship. I can see you a star.” Bucky smiled. “I’m graduating in the spring with a drama degree.” He couldn’t really think of a nice, bad wolf type degree so picked one randomly.

“Really? That means you’ll be able to show me around?” TJ asked with a sweet laugh.

“Can run lines with ya and everything until I graduate. Got a job all lined up in LA, too.” Bucky grinned. Nodding, he stopped by the motel door.” And here’s my treehouse. I was born and bred in this town. Felt it was such a good build would be a shame to stop using it as a hang out. Up you go.” Bucky moved behind TJ, slipping the key through the slot, then gave TJ a soft push on the butt as if helping him up a ladder. He chuckled, “anyone ever tell you that you got the nicest butt, like a real actor’s?”

Stepping into the room, TJ turned and looked at Bucky.

Bucky let the door shut behind him once they were inside. He smiled and tossed the key to the desk. “So, whatcha think? He spread his hands.

Looking around, as if taking in the room for the first time, TJ nodded, “it’s really nice, Buck. Though . . .” he looked around again, “I must be missing the video game set up you bragged about.”

“It’s stashed away so no neighborhood punks come and steal it. I can pull it out and bring it next time.” Bucky stepped closer and smiled, reaching over and toying with TJ’s curls near his neck. “Nice hair, smells good. Whatcha use on that to make it so soft, TJ?”

Flushing bright red, TJ licked his lips again, ducking out of Bucky’s hold like the character he was playing would. “Just whatever is cheapest on the shelf, ya know? Broke college student and all.”

Nodding, Bucky smiled and patted the bed. “Have a seat, TJ, that was a bit of a walk and climb. Must need a rest.” He remained standing, even walking over to the sink and filling a glass with water.

Giving Bucky another sweet, innocent smile, TJ nodded, he sat on the edge of the bed, playing with the hem of his shirt nervously.

Bucky walked over and offered TJ the glass. “Thirsty, TJ?” He continued to smile.

Nodding, TJ reached for the glass, “thanks, Buck.”

Bucky moved it playfully higher up and leaned a bit closer.

Giggling, TJ reached for the glass again.

Bucky whispered, “whatcha wanna give me for it? Maybe a little kiss?”

Looking at the other man with wide eyes, TJ flushed, he squirmed, “a kiss?”

“Just a little one, TJ,” Bucky coax, “don’t tell me you ain’t been kissed before, a pretty guy like you?”

Blushing, TJ ducked his head sheepishly and shrugged, “never had the time for it, I suppose.”

“Well, it doesn’t hurt. And I can teach you how. You’ll be expected to kiss people on stage, you know.” Bucky put the glass on the nightstand. “You want, I can practice it with you so the director’s don’t know.”

Looking back up at Bucky, TJ breathed, “just for practice, right?”

Acting shocked, Bucky drew back as if offended, “what kinda guy you take me for? Kissing someone when I just met him? Of course it’s practice, you think I go around kissin’ everyone?” He turned his shoulder a bit.

Grabbing Bucky’s hand, TJ said quickly, “I’m sorry . . . I - - I’ve never done this before, Buck.”

“Done what,” Bucky asked, turned back a bit as if reluctantly forgiving the implied insult, “practice for a part?”

Flushing brighter, TJ chewed his bottom lip, looking up at Bucky, “not - - not with a . . . _guy_.”

“Oh, is that all? You ain’t one of those homophobes, are ya?” Bucky turned back to TJ completely, facing him with a soft smile. “Not gonna get far in acting if you are.”

“No! Not at all!” TJ said quickly, eyes wide, his fingers still lingered on Bucky’s wrist.

“Well, I can help ya relax with other guys. This college is very progressive. They ignore genders when casting roles, ya know. It’s why it’s one of the best to really learn acting at.” Bucky reached over and stroked TJ’s chest through his shirt. “Pretty color, TJ. Brings out your eyes.”

“Yeah?” TJ breathed, slightly pushing into the touch, unable to stop himself, “one of my favorite shirts, actually.”

“Yeah?” Bucky reached for the glass, pretended to pick it up, and then pretended to tilt it accidentally over TJ. “Ah, shit! Sorry, TJ! Damn . . . it’s not dry clean is it?” He put the imaginary glass down again and reached to brush at TJ’s chest and waist.

Gasping, as if the _cold water_ shocked him, TJ shook his head, “it’s fine, Buck. It’s only water. It’ll dry.”

“Yeah, but you’ll get sick if you hang around in that. Here let me hang that up to dry . . .” Bucky began unbuttoning TJ’s shirt as if in a hurry to get him out of a wet garment, all concern.

“Really, Buck. It’s fine,” TJ tried to keep up the charade and not simply wrap his arms around Bucky and kiss his brother passionately.

“You wanna get sick? I’d feel devastated, getting such a pretty guy like you sick before first day auditions. Those’re what they base the whole year on! You don’t show, you’ll get chorus.” Bucky unhooked the last button and started pushing the shirt off TJ’s shoulders.

“I - - I . . . well, I guess . . . you’re right?” TJ said softly, flushing as his bare chest was exposed to Bucky.

Bucky nodded and caressed his hands down TJ’s arms as he pulled the sleeves off. He turned and hung the shirt over the back of a chair. “There.” He turned. “Damn, I got your pants wet, too! I am such a clutz!” It was the easiest excuse he could think of to undress TJ, after all, so he went with it.

TJ looked down at his pants, as if looking for the spot Bucky was referring to.

“Here, right here,” Bucky reached down and caressed over TJ’s crotch, removing his hand quickly with an “oh! Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Buck, but that spot will dry in no time. Don’t gotta hang these up,” TJ said on a soft moan.

“Not through denim, TJ. We can hang it up with your shirt. Maybe I can find something for you to wear?” Bucky unzipped both sides of TJ’s crotch and began sliding the jeans down, leaning close enough his breath ghosted warmly over TJ’s still clothed member.

Gasping, TJ’s hips canted involuntarily.

Bucky whipped the jeans down, taking advantage of TJ lifting his ass. He took off TJ’s shoes, socks, and jeans, and hung the denim on the other chair. “There we go. Now, let me see if I left clothes here when I cleaned out last time.” He got up and began searching the empty drawers, muttering.

TJ wrapped his arms around himself, as if embarrassed, his pale eyes tracked Bucky’s movements.

Shaking his head, he sat back down and began sliding out of his jacket, revealing his bare chest. “Sorry, TJ, no clothing. Want to borrow mine?” He offered the jacket.

Nodding, TJ unwrapped one of his arms and reached for the jacket.

Bucky grinned playfully and held it above TJ’s head. “You know you’ve got the body of a model. Did I tell you that, TJ? So damn pretty, like you’re posing for a pretty picture for a camera. Like for Hollywood.”

TJ smiled sheepishly as he stood up to try and grab the jacket from Bucky’s hand.

Bucky slipped his arm around TJ’s waist and planted a very gentle kiss on his abdomen. “Smell movie star, too.”

“Buck . . .” TJ gasped in mock surprise.

“Can’t help it, ya know? You’re just pretty as sin. Anyone ever tell you that? Could eat you up, TJ.” Bucky lifted his face, his arm still around TJ’s waist. He tossed the jacket awkwardly away with his other hand. “You know, I betcha you’re more experienced than you’re letting on. Guy as pretty as you? Had ta have a girlfriend in school, right?”

“A - - a girlfriend,” TJ nodded, voice breathless.

“Betcha she made ya feel good? But did she make ya feel really naughty? Ain’t good unless you squirm.” Bucky kissed again, slightly higher up TJ’s torso.

“I - - I . . .” TJ stammered, acting as if Bucky’s kisses were making him speechless.

“You are a naughty boy, ain’t ya? Look at your cock, already up and ready for something. You feelin’ like ya need that girlfriend right about now, TJ?” Bucky grinned and ran a hand down over his brother’s crotch.

TJ moaned, pushing into Bucky’s hand, “God, Buck . . .”

“Ain’t got a girl ‘round here, but I can make you feel a lot better’n any girl any way. You ever broke the rules and wanted to be with a guy?” Bucky smirked. “I betcha have!”

Flushing, TJ simply groaned and nodded, mouth hanging open slightly.

“”Want me to show you how it really feels to be fucked, TJ? Make you feel so good, you’ll forget that girls ever existed?” Bucky leaned down, his mouth hovering over TJ’s crotch, the heat and moisture building over the cotton covered flesh.

TJ’s cock twitched, straining against his briefs, the lean brunet let out another needy moan and nodded, “y - - yes.”

“Not much hard ta get are ya?” Bucky taunted. He stood up and slid down his sweats, showing his excited tenting in the boxers he wore. “So, you ready to take it up the ass?” Bucky hoped TJ would remember he was supposed to act shy and virgin and say _no_ , so Bucky could tie him up and cut off his clothes.

TJ blinked, as if a fog clearing in his mind, “up the . . . no.”

“Well, ain’t got a pussy hidden down there, do ya?” Bucky leered. He grabbed the rope and unwound it, but low down like he didn’t want it seen, bending as he did so.

“Well,” TJ flushed bright red, “ _no_. But . . . up _there_? That’ll hurt.”

“Yeah, you gotta be reamed a few times before you earn the right to ream another guy, TJ, it’s the law.” He began climbing onto the bed, using his free hand to push at TJ’s breastbone. “You do want me to take care of that hard on, right?”

“Yes . . . but - -” TJ went down against the mattress with a soft bounce.

Nodding, Bucky slid the rope to the nightstand. “Yeah, I see you squirming already. You _want_ me to stick it up ya. Your mama warned you about it, but you _want_ to feel what she forbid. You wanna feel that full, burn. Betcha snatch dirty mags from your older sister, too. Or . . . wait . . .” Bucky’s eyes went wide and he grinned in total evil glee, stroking a hand down TJ’s chest and to his crotch, cupping his brother hard, “you stole your mama’s dirty mags! She caught you and gave you a spanking and now you got a dirty secret cause you just _have_ to be filled with cock!”

TJ’s eyes were wide and he looked up at Bucky, squirming as if trying to get up from under the larger man.

“And you came hard in your undies when your mama spanked you for being such a dirty little boy, didn’t ya?” Bucky leaned over and nipped at TJ’s navel.

“Buck . . .” TJ gasped, squirming again.

He reached for the rope, suddenly grasping TJ’s wrist, hard. “You can't run away, TJ. I’m gonna show you what it’s like to take a real man. None of this fingers in the dark and biting the pillow shit. I’m gonna fuck you hard and make you cum, screamin’! And no matter what you say, I _know_ you want it. Want what your mama always got and said you ain’t allowed to want.”

TJ attempted to pull against Bucky’s grasp, eyes wide, though darkening with lust.

“You ready for this, TJ?” Bucky brandished the rope, still holding his twin’s wrist in a powerful grip, not bruising him but close to it.

“Yes,” TJ breathed.

“You say no to me?” Bucky grinned, winking. “Well, you can say no all ya want. I know what your body wants.” He was thankful for the check in, though he continued with the scene. Quickly, Bucky securely tied TJ’s wrist to the bed post then tied the other. He nodded, leaving TJ’s legs free. “Gonna tie your legs, like . . .” he stood and quickly put a pillow across each of TJ’s ankles. “There!” It was obvious he’d done a bit of fantasy play, like Steve had.

TJ groaned and tugged at the bindings at his wrists, “Buck . . . please,” the knots weren’t the usual slipknot Steve always used; these were secure, he couldn’t pull free. “Buck . . . I wanna go home,” TJ pleaded, trying to keep up the scene.

“Yeah? Nah, I saw you shaking your ass out there at any guy who’d look. You were bending and enticing an’ everything. You wanna me to come along. You were begging for a fuck, weren’t ya, TJ?”

TJ blinked, tugging again, “yellow, Buck. Yellow!”

Immediately, Bucky nodded. “What part, Teej?” his voice had gone serious, his normal voice and tone.

“Th - - the words . . . Brock . . .” TJ explained.

“Want me to go more boyfriend? More caregiver, Teej?” Bucky carefully ran a hand over TJ’s arm, not sexually but soothing. “Or you need to stop?”

Taking a few deep breaths, TJ shook his head.

“Want me to untie you? There’s more pillows I can use for pretend ropes?” Bucky offered, worried.

“No, it’s not the rope . . . I like the rope, Buck,” TJ said, his fingers flexing and wrapping around the bedpost.

Bucky quickly untied him anyway and sat him up, running a soothing hand over his back. “Breathe, TJ. Tell me what you need. We can play after. But tell me what words to use to make this work for you.”

TJ sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, ruffling it in a look of frustration.

“Want me to take you through and you point out what started the yellow?” Bucky offered.

“It was telling me that I was begging for it . . .” TJ muttered.

“Damn!” Bucky growled, “I forget.” And he had, just recalling that TJ had been raped recently, had been told he wanted it. Bucky stroked TJ’s chest. “Okay, Teej, give me a chance to fix this for you? One chance. If it doesn’t work, we can stop?”

Looking at his twin, TJ released another breath and nodded, “okay.”

Smiling, Bucky stood up, grabbed the pillows from TJ’s ankles and set them aside. He then put the rope on the bedside table. “Okay. Breathe once and sit back up on the edge again.”

Doing as told, TJ took another breath and scooted over to the edge of the bed.

Bucky turned and began adjusting the jeans on the chair. He then went through the drawers again. “Sorry, TJ, I must’ve cleared out all the clothes last time I was here. Wanted to wash them, ya know? But . . .” he moved over and sank onto the bed, wrapping an arm around him, “I can keep ya warm while we do that kissing practice.” He was taking a completely different tack, a seduction rather than the version they’d already agreed on and had trouble with.

Smiling softly, TJ nodded, “o - - okay, kissing practice.”

Nodding, Bucky slid a finger under TJ’s chin and breathed, “so pretty. Look at those eyes. Those’ll break hearts all over the world!” He leaned in and traced his lips softly over TJ’s, brushing them back and forth a few times, giving his _freshman virgin_ a chance to pull back. The accusations of girlfriends and porn and wanting this were erased in the redo of a bedroom fantasy.

TJ didn’t pull away; he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue swiping against Bucky’s bottom lip. He hoped they could figure out a way to mix in the rope again, it really hadn’t been him being tied up that freaked him out.

Stroking his twin’s neck and chest, Bucky pulled back. “You’re a good kisser, TJ. You sure you haven’t done this before?” He smiled at the other man, encouraging him to see this scene a _new boy gets lucky_ scenario now.

“Well, I may have tried it out with a girlfriend . . . but it didn’t work out, didn’t feel right,” TJ said breathlessly.

Nodding, Bucky leaned in and kissed again, keeping it vanilla for the moment. “Ever think maybe you really wanna try with a guy, TJ?”

“I like kissing _you_ ,” TJ smiled.

Nodding, Bucky kissed some more then moved down TJ’s neck to his shoulder, trailing soft kisses. “There’s more we can try, you know, TJ. College is all about exploring your world. It’s not wrong. You’re over eighteen now.” He lifted smiling grey-blue eyes.

Grinning, TJ nodded, “I’d like that, Buck. You’ll show me?”

“Of course. I think someone from heaven smiled when you walked into me earlier. I’m gonna be your mentor in class - - and out.” He kissed again. “But . . . I wanna show you how to expand your horizons, TJ. I can make you feel so good if you let me.” He grinned, eyes dancing suddenly in mischief.

“I want you to make me feel good, Buck,” TJ agreed with a nod.

Nodding, Bucky stood up. “Now you might be surprised at first, but you gotta go with it, okay?” He gently pushed TJ backwards on the bed and grabbed his wrist, gently this time, kissing the slight bruising from earlier. “Ready?”

“Yes,” TJ breathed out, thankful that Bucky hadn’t cut out the ropes completely from this scene.

Bucky grabbed the rope and said, “I’m gonna tie you up so you can concentrate on what I do. Won’t have to do anything but lie back and enjoy, TJ.” He used the words Nat had first used when they started bondage. It had relaxed him more than he’d suspected, too, to have the pressure of responding, touching, everything just taken away.

“Okay,” TJ said, trying to put a little bit of hesitation in his voice, trying to keep the scene alive.

Nodding, Bucky tied the same knot as before and tied the other wrist as well. Smiling, nodding as he stepped back, he moved back to the bottom of the bed. “Gonna use pillows, so your legs are free. But you gotta _pretend_ their ropes. Don’t move your legs or your breaking the rules, unless you gotta move. Okay? If you need to move, just say _moving_.” Bucky wondered suddenly just how experienced his brother was with bondage. The rope had never been opened before he’d grabbed it that night. Was he actually teaching TJ or was TJ the one who suggested rope to Steve? Bucky decided to ask during cool down. He ran a hand up TJ’s ankle, calf, the back of his knee, and his inner thigh.

“What if I _want_ my legs bound, Buck?” TJ asked softly.

“Then tell me so, TJ. I can tie legs, too.” He offered his brother a smile, a promise of willingness in his eyes. “Just gotta use a different knot is all.”

TJ hummed softly, as if thinking over Bucky’s offer.

“See,” Bucky caressed over his abdomen, giving him time to think, but displaying what he explained. “I’d need to tie your knees up, spreading you open, so your knees and arms are close together, because this rope is too short to tie you in an Andrew’s Cross type position.” Bucky had been researching bondage furniture. Looking at TJ, realizing he was supposed to be with a _novice_ , Bucky added, “spread eagle, I mean.

Smirking, TJ looked down at his brother, “and you, as a teacher, which one would _you_ suggest we start with?”

“First time? I recommend knees up so I can get to you easier. Because,” he leaned over and stroked TJ’s crotch, whispering in his ear, “I plan to put my cock in your ass and make you feel so full.”

Groaning, hands jerking against the restraints, TJ breathed, “l - - let’s do that, then.”

Nodding, Bucky took the pillows and slipped them under TJ’s back and hips. He then bent one leg, kissing the back of his brother’s knee, and used rope to tie the limb up in one loop. He did the same thing on the other side. Moving to the head of the bed, he removed the pillows from TJ’s head and stripped off the pillow cases, folding them up and tucking them between the rope and the soft flesh behind TJ’s knees. “That good for you?” TJ still wore the briefs but was tied firmly by his wrists and knees in a knot he didn’t know.

“Yes,” TJ nodded, voice breathless, his needy tone breaking through. His fingers flexed again, gripping into the air until they found the headboard to latch onto.

“The knot’s designed to let you hold the rope itself, TJ, so you’ll be more comfortable. And if you wanna get free, just lift both arms up. It’s tied behind the bed, not to the posts.” And that explained why there wasn’t enough rope for spread eagle.

Letting go of the headboard, TJ nodded and gripped the rope with each hand.

“So, TJ, that doesn’t burn your wrists or knees? I can see you’re already filling, so I think you like it.” He smiled and leaned over, crawling onto the bed and kissing TJ’s abdomen.

TJ whimpered, gasping, “no - - doesn’t burn. Buck . . . please . . .”

“So, wanna feel what it’s like to have sex with a man, TJ?” Bucky sat back on his feet, smiling at the beautiful sight of TJ strung up, despite the covering briefs.

“Yes, yes . . . I wanna know - - please, Buck, teach me?” TJ whined.

Nodding, Bucky slid out of Steve’s boxers and caressed TJ through the cloth. “Looks like I forgot to remove something, TJ. Guess I gotta take care of that.” He moved to the scissors and picked them up, making the blades click a couple of times.

Looking at Bucky with wide, lust blown eyes, TJ watched his twin.

Leaning over, Bucky breathed, “don’t move, TJ.” He pulled the briefs from TJ’s waist and slid the cold metal blade inside, right alongside his member. Carefully, very slowly, Bucky closed the blades and cut the waistband and a bit of cotton. He kept working the scissors down, an inch at a time, to TJ’s left leg. Once he released that leg, Bucky moved to place the scissor blade against the flesh of the other leg and carefully cut off that side of the briefs, letting them fall open around TJ’s hips, exposing him to the air. Bucky blew lightly across TJ’s already leaking cockhead then straightened and put the scissors on the nightstand.

TJ keened, hands jerking against the ropes as Bucky’s breath blew across his sensitive member.

Looking over, Bucky said, “Now gotta open you up, TJ. This is very important when you have sex with a man, because you could tear that pretty little pink ass if you don’t.” Bucky pulled out the lube and climbed back on the bed. He reached down to caress over TJ’s member and down to his balls, gently squeezing them. “Ready?” he whispered.

“Yes,” TJ moaned; he wished he’d worn a plug that day, even if it didn’t match the scene they were doing . . . he needed his brother in him.

Grinning, Bucky opened the lube and held it up, “water soluble, will wash right off.” He poured it generously down TJ’s butt crack, letting it pool around his hole and run down to his back and the bed. Fortunately, the towels under TJ would catch the mess. Bucky also coated his fingers. He leaned over and traced TJ’s opening, pushing a bit but not breaching. He whispered, “sorry, didn’t see our plug in the box.” He sat back up and caressed a bit before sliding his finger in a bit, slowly, bit by bit.

Moaning as his twin’s finger breached him, TJ keened; he squirmed as much as the bindings would let him.

“Oh, does that feel good?” Bucky deliberately asked rather than making a claim. Knowing Brock, the man would have _told_ TJ what he was feeling and getting it all wrong. “Do you want more, TJ?” Bucky caressed over his prostate before bottoming out his finger.

“Please . . . oh - - Buck, please?” TJ whimpered, gasping out in pleasure as Bucky stroked over his prostate.

Nodding, Bucky whispered, “liking your first man, TJ? Can a woman make you feel this way?” He caressed and curved his finger a bit, pulling it out and pushing in several times. Finally, he slid it out, joined it with a second, and caressed over that pink needy rosebud.

“No - - no . . . no one has made me feel this good, Buck,” TJ panted, mewling and trying to match Bucky’s pace but the bindings made it hard to do.

Bucky slid his fingers into his brother, feeling the fluttering of muscles contracting around his digits. He groaned softly as his member pulsed in interest, beginning to ache a bit. “You feel so good, TJ, so tight, so hot . . . so right.” He eased in and began stroking, twisting and scissoring, kissing TJ’s shoulders, across his throat, back and forth over and over, his position letting his erection press against TJ’s inner thigh.

“Buck . . .” TJ whimpered in desperation, hands pulling at the restraints again, “please . . . oh - - you make me feel so good, Buck.” He’d never been opened up this slowly by his brother before, usually having been wearing a plug or doing it himself. The wait was killing him.

Sucking at TJ’s collarbone, Bucky eased his fingers from his twin's ass and added a third, caressing over his opening. “You’re doing so well for a virgin, TJ. Gonna go to three. Ready?”

“Yes . . . God, Buck, I wanna feel you,” TJ knew he was slipping out of the scene, but his desperation and need were driving him crazy. Also, this had been the longest scene he’d ever attempted, even with the brief break. Steve always did shorter scenes, knowing that eventually TJ’s neediness would break through.

Hearing the need, allowing the scene break, Bucky said, “gonna make you feel so good, brother mine. Wanna make this so good for you.” Bucky kissed TJ’s breast, taking the nipple into his mouth and rolling it around. He slid all three fingers into TJ in slow increments, a little at a time, curving and twisting to keep opening him wider.

“Yes, yes . . .” TJ breathed, keening and mewling as his twin’s fingers worked him open. “Make me feel so good . . . missed you . . . missed you so fucking much . . .”

“Yeah, ached for you, big brother. Missed being one with you. We belong together, Teej.” He stroked TJ’s prostate with all three fingers, moving them a bit in almost a drumming motion in order to hit the sensitive organ three times in quick succession.

TJ cried out, tugging and pulling at the ropes keeping his hands from touching his brother. Bucky was able to drive him wild, like no one else, even Steve. Being displayed like this, knees bent, ass open and so ready for Bucky to fill it, TJ felt that familiar high feeling seeping through his body.

Popping off TJ’s nipple, Bucky added a single lap of appreciation then moved to the other side and began suckling him again. He began sliding his constantly moving fingers in and out, bottoming out a few times, running his thumb over TJ’s taint as he did so.

Sobbing, TJ pulled again, “Buck! Bucky, please!”

“Not up to four yet, Teej . . .” he murmured around the nipple, lifting off enough to be understood clearly.

Whining, low and needy, TJ panted and looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm himself down so Bucky didn’t make him cum from his fingers alone.

Lifting his face, watching his twin struggle, Bucky pulled his fingers completely free and headed for the bag. He pulled out the third plug of the training set Steve had picked up on and walked back over. Rubbing it over TJ’s ass, gathering lube, he slowly eased it inside until he stroked over his brother’s prostate and bottomed it out to the flange. He then caressed TJ’s abdomen and leaned over. Taking a breath, Bucky lifted TJ’s cock and began to engulf the tip into his virgin mouth; he’d never given head, even during their time in Colorado.

“Bucky!” TJ shouted, completely shocked by the warm, wet mouth on his cockhead. TJ moaned and keened, the plug deep in him massaging his walls, nearing his prostate. “Buck . . . gonna - - if you keep . . . gonna cum.”

Nodding, Bucky pulled off and began just stroking his brother, massaging and twisting lightly. “Thanks for the warning, TJ,” he breathed. “You can cum now. Wanna make you cum all night.”

Crying out, TJ whimpered and he came, painting Bucky’s hand in his seed. He had been so needy for his brother, he just hadn’t been able to hang in any longer.

Bucky smiled and spread the cum across TJ’s abdomen. “Damn, you’re so pretty when you cum, Teej. Look at those eyes. Like I hang the stars for you.” He leaned up and slid the rope from behind the headboard, easing TJ’s arms. He kissed his brother quickly then began untying him, easing his legs down but not removing the plug.

As soon as he was able, TJ growled low and, in a feat of strength many believed he didn’t have, flipped his brother over and straddled him.

Surprise washed over Bucky’s face and melted into a wide grin. “Oh! I think someone's frisky!”

Sliding down Bucky’s chest, tongue lapping, teeth nipping at the flesh there, TJ made his way down to his twin’s pulsing cock. With a wicked grin, TJ engulfed his brother’s shaft, completely, letting it slide into his throat in one swift motion.

Bucky let out a shout of shock and slammed his head back, against the footboard of the bed. He groaned and canted his hips. “TJ! God, so damn good!” Bucky ran his hands into TJ’s curls and began tugging, a bit more strongly than Steve would; Bucky didn’t treat his brother like a delicate flower.

TJ swallowed around Bucky’s shaft, his hands moving up to touch his brother; one went to squeeze and caress his balls the other feeling Bucky’s muscular chest. At the burning tug, TJ groaned around his twin’s erection.

“Damn, damn, damn . . .” Bucky continued to grunt, a low growl in his voice. “Shit . . . better . . . let . . . that . . . plug . . . fall . . . out . . . Teej . . . want . . . ya . . . ready . . . ta . . . fuck!” His hips canted again, thrusting even deeper. He tugged harder.

Moaning in complete bliss, TJ continued to work his brother, allowing Bucky to fuck his throat and tug at his hair.

“Mean . . . not!” Bucky groaned, feeling his balls dragging heavy and hot, his cock swelling and ready. Bucky groaned out, slamming his head against the footboard again. “Damn . . . gonna cum . . .”

TJ gave Bucky’s sac a firm squeeze, not moving his mouth from the larger brunet’s cock. He hummed around the thick member.

At the squeeze, followed by the vibrating hum, Bucky shouted and came hard, jet after salty thick jet shooting into his brother’s willing mouth and throat. “God, TJ!” He rocked his hips over and over, lost in the orgasm, his hands clutching at TJ’s scalp in a near bruising way but just short of causing injury.

Swallowing every last drop, managing not to let any spill out, TJ waited for his brother to come down from his orgasm. Bucky’s firm grip in his hair and the continual thrusting made it hard to pull off. So, he focused on trying to clean off his twin’s member.

Finally, Bucky fell still, hands relaxing. He began gently stroking and massaging at TJ’s scalp and hair, soothing motions. “God, I love you, big brother. You are so perfect for me.”

Slowly easing off, TJ made sure to clean off Bucky’s cockhead before he popped off with an obscene, wet noise. He grinned up at his twin; in a slightly wrecked, hoarse voice, he asked, “that okay, Buck?”

“Damn, good, Teej. Green and everything. God, that feels like heaven.” He lifted his head, eyes unfocusing then focusing once more, and grinned at TJ. “Ready to get cleaned up and go to dinner? I’m starving!”

Laughing, TJ nodded as he slipped off his brother and offered a hand to help ease him up.

Bucky allowed his brother to help him sit up, hissing and putting his hand to the back of his head. “Damn,” he hissed, pulling his hand back and blinking at the red oozing over his fingers. “Oops?”

TJ’s eyes widened and he immediately moved to look at the injury, pushing Bucky’s hair away with gentle fingers. He’d split the skin in his head banging but nothing too serious. The bleeding was a very slow ooze.

“Dammit, Bucky, I’m sorry. I guess I shoulda warned you what I was gonna do,” TJ said with a wince at the injury.

“Nope,” Bucky laughed. “You shoulda warned me that I needed to move up the bed. The surprise blow was awesome. Hey, did I hurt you? I get real grabby.”

TJ waved dismissively, still eying the injury on his brother; even if it wasn’t serious he still had to make absolutely sure that there wasn’t any other cuts.

Bucky smiled at TJ’s look and let his brother check his scalp and back. There was only the one cut and a slight bruising starting to show. “I’ll take some aspirin and I’ll be good.,” Bucky said.

Grumbling, TJ nodded and finally seemed satisfied that his twin was okay. “Ya big clutz,” he admonished playfully.

Snickering, Bucky said, “we were so busy loving, I forgot this bed has a footboard. Not used to that.” He reached over and checked TJ’s plug. “Still in,” he purred a bit.

Humming, TJ nodded. He sauntered over to the bathroom, looking over his shoulder at his brother, he asked, “joining me, my big clutzy little brother?”

Laughing, Bucky slid from the bed and followed into the bathroom. He noted that the bathroom was barely big enough to fit them with no room to maneuver. “Not gonna work well, is it?” He nuzzled TJ’s neck since they were pressed so close.

TJ mewled and ground against Bucky’s spent member, he looked over at the small shower, there wasn’t a tub. He frowned softly, realizing it would be pretty hard to actually get clean if they both took a shower at the same time.

“You take your time and preen a bit, TJ. I’ll go change the bed towels and make sure to get things ready for the next scene. The one where I make love to you after our dinner date.” Bucky caressed his hands over TJ’s firm ass and kissed his neck. He backed out of the room.

TJ took a long shower, letting the water cascade down his body. He made sure to wash every inch of his skin, he wished he’d grabbed his toiletry bag with his own soaps . . . maybe Bucky would like the vanilla one as much as Steve did. He’d have to remember to test that once they moved into the house in Jersey. After finishing, TJ quickly dried off and was ruffling his hair when he walked back out into the hotel room.

Bucky grinned and passed his brother to go into the bathroom. He slapped TJ’s ass in passing. “Only allow to have level three or higher in there, TJ . . . better not let it get smaller again. I wanna stick it in when I want.” Bucky walked into the shower and cleaned up rather quickly.

TJ was buttoning up his shirt as Bucky stepped out of the bathroom. He smiled at his brother and roved his eyes over the still slightly damp skin.

Smiling back, Bucky moved off to slide into the boxers and sweats. “Damn, gonna look like you’re hanging with the local hobo.” He pulled on his jacket over his bare torso.

“You’re the sexiest hobo I’ve ever seen,” TJ quipped with a smirk.

“And you are the sexiest damn man _I’ve_ ever seen, brother mine.” Bucky reached over and caressed over TJ’s ass. “You left the plug in?”

“Yes, I want you to be able to take me into the restaurant bathroom and fuck me if you want, Buck,” TJ purred, nuzzling Bucky’s neck, nipping and kissing the clean skin.

“Need you up to four at least for that, TJ. I’m not a small guy, even if I’m not as big as that horse husband of yours.” He grinned and kissed his twin’s neck.

Laughing, TJ nodded and ran his fingers down Bucky’s sides, tracing each as if he wanted to commit every bump and ridge to memory. His nimble fingers moved down to caress Bucky’s hips, hands slipping under the jacket to touch the skin.

“Oh, just remembered, Teej. Got something for you to try from the box. I took it outta the package and made sure it was real clean for you, too.” Bucky grinned. He walked over to the bag and reached in.

TJ watched his brother closely, trying to remember what it was he’d seen inside the bag. 

Smiling, he called, “need to get those pants and drawers off and bend over the bed, Teej. Should’ve used this earlier, but now’s perfect.”

TJ looked slightly confused, trying to remember everything Bucky has explained that he was going to do. TJ unfastened his jeans and pulled them down and off. He walked over to the bed and braced his hands on the mattress as he presented his ass to his twin.

Bucky began lubing what he held in his hands, his back to his twin. Turning, smiling, Bucky walked over. He rubbed a hand down TJ’s firm globe and leaned in to kiss the dimple at the top of his crack. “Beautiful, TJ.” He gripped the flange on the plug and began working it around as he slowly pulled it out.

Mewling, TJ’s hips involuntarily canted as Bucky removed the plug.

Positioning a plug at TJ’s entrance, Bucky began caressing and massaging it around; it was bigger than the one he’d just pulled out. Bucky began working the device in, very slowly, twisting and circling the entire time since this one skipped a step. “Check in, TJ?” Bucky asked, sounding breathless as he watched his brother’s ass opening and swallowing the toy like his throat had swallowed Bucky’s cock.

“Green,” TJ moaned, sounding just as breathless.

“Has Steve ever got you to five, brother mine?” Bucky asked, still slowly working the device in, moving it around to loosen TJ’s passage enough to fit the bulbous toy.

“No, Buck,” TJ keened as the large plug stretched him in all the right ways, his member already beginning to twitch with arousal.

Finally, without touching TJ’s needy prostate, Bucky settled the anal plug in place, holding the leather strap that acted as a soft flange. He said, “breathe and I’ll give you the rest . . .”

“The rest?” TJ whimpered, breathing in and out.

“You _can_ take it, right?” Bucky asked on a wicked smile from behind TJ. He reached around and cupped his brother’s member.

Moaning, TJ nodded and pressed into Bucky’s palm, “yes, Buck . . . I can take it.”

Nodding, Bucky took away his palm with a caress. He replaced it a heartbeat later, but this time it was a stiff metal cup set in a metal front piece, like a jockstrap. Bucky quickly pulled a strap up between TJ’s legs and slipped it through the leather loop of the plug and snapped it to the back of the chastity harness. He made sure TJ was centered in the leather mesh cup, no pinching or leaking, balls and all. “How’s that feel, brother mine?” He caressed a bare cheek then gave it a light slap and stepped back.

Gasping, TJ moaned and stayed bent over, catching his breath. He suddenly remembered Bucky telling him about using a cage while at dinner. After a few moments he pushed up with his hands, though he didn’t move from the side of the bed yet.

Bucky knelt down and began easing his brother’s boxer briefs up, caressing along his legs, his thighs, as he did so, kissing TJ’s butt where he’d slapped him. “So pretty. Check in?”

“Green, Buck,” TJ breathed out.

Nodding, he kissed TJ’s other buttcheek. Bucky squatted to pull TJ’s jeans up his slender, long legs. Standing, Bucky turned his twin and finished pulling up the jeans, freely feeling and cupping and adjusting, almost like Steve’s clothes fitting.

TJ let out a sharp breath, looking at his brother with wide eyes. “T - - this is payback for Colorado, isn’t it?”

“So clever,” Bucky chuckled and offered his wicked smile. Bucky finally slowly pulled both zippers closed. “Beautiful. Tuck in your shirt and let’s get going. You’re treating the hobo to dinner.”

Blinking, TJ tucked in his shirt and nodded absently, any movement caused the plug to wiggle inside him. The plug was so large but it had been angled just right so it would not touch his prostate. Swallowing, TJ walked over to the dresser and put on his red collar, leaving the leash on the dresser.

The twins made their way to a small diner a few blocks away from the motel. By the time they walked through the door, TJ was already quivering slightly. The massive toy inside of him could not be forgotten or distracted from, and the cage kept him from reacting to the stimulant.

Smiling, Bucky escorted his twin to their table and helped him ease down, very aware of what TJ must be feeling; he had so expressive a face. “Ready?” Bucky asked as he sat across from TJ, as if asking about the meal to come.

“Yes,” TJ answered in a shaky tone.

The waitress came over and gave the men their menus then gave both attractive men an appreciative once-over, “twins?” She asked.

Bucky nodded, smiling, and lifted his left hand, “married to a beautiful dancer. He’s got an artist. What’s the special?” He felt it was kinder to cut off the hopes in advance, many women tried to flirt with Bucky, even in front of Natasha. The marriage might be ending, but Bucky saw no reason to stop enjoying the benefits it had provided.

For her part, she didn’t look disappointed; she simply nodded and reported, “special is a turkey dinner, comes with a slice of pumpkin pie, too.”

“Whatcha think, big brother?” Bucky said to the obvious smaller man, “Want me to order for you?”

TJ nodded quickly, giving Bucky and then the waitress a small smile.

“Okay, two specials. And lots of water, please. Coffee, too, must have coffee.” Bucky grinned, realizing he’d neglected to give TJ water after cumming, despite Steve providing it for them.

“You got it,” she laughed, writing the order down, “your water and coffee will be out in just a moment.” She finished with the order and turned back to the kitchen to retrieve the drinks.

TJ squirmed in his seat, trying to find a comfortable spot but the plug was so damn big that no matter how he sat he could clearly feel it.

Bucky turned his smile to his brother. “This is a nice little place. Real quiet. Hard to believe it’s about fifteen miles from the apartment . . . and the house.”

Looking over at Bucky, TJ nodded, “y - - yeah, I like it . . . food smells good.”

The waitress came back with a tray and gave the twins their water and coffee, “you boys just passing through? Or are you from around here? I haven’t seen you before.”

“Brooklyn, but looking to move into a less expensive area. Checking out a place nearby, actually.” Bucky grinned. “Garden Estates.”

“Yeah?” The waitress smiled, “that neighborhood is really nice. My grandparents use ta have a house there before they moved to Florida.”

“This one had a harpist living there, know him?” Bucky asked, making conversation in the near empty diner.

“Oh! You looking at Mr. Smith’s place? That’s nice, big back yard. I remember he was always talkin’ about installin’ a pool but never got around to it,” She looked at both men and her eyes caught on TJ, a sudden dawning of recognition in her eyes.

TJ squirmed again, partly from her gaze and the plug, he looked over at Bucky.

Bucky looked at TJ and said, “drink your coffee, TJ.” His use of his twin’s name confirmed the waitress’s suspicions. TJ had to deal with all kinds, but Bucky hoped this was one of the nice ones. It was stereotyping thinking a woman might have more sympathy for a rape victim, but Bucky prayed she would.

TJ immediately took a sip of coffee and his eyes anxiously flickered over to the waitress who was watching the two interact with curious eyes.

Then Bucky recalled the pictures of TJ in a leash and collar that would have come out that evening on the internet. He wished he’d thought to check on the view status of that. Fuckin’ Pierce.

The waitress shook herself and regained her smile, “well, Mr. Smith’s place is a nice place to start over.”

Looking up, Bucky took the chance to break the ice, maybe start a few positive rumors. He smiled widely and said, “hey, my brother just got back from his honeymoon vacation, over in Colorado? Did you want to see some wedding photos? I’ve got them on my phone.”

She nodded and smiled, walking over to Bucky.

Bucky shot TJ a smile as he dug his phone from his jacket pocket and flipped through the photos, quite openly. He never had taken naughty or questionable pictures of his friends or play group, so he was not worried she’d see something wrong. He clicked on a copy of the wedding video and turned it for her to watch and listen to.

After the video, she looked over at TJ and grinned, “you look very happy. Your husband is gorgeous!”

“Radiant, right? We told him that. And that’s his husband, Steve . . . former teacher at that asshat school, but he’s looking to work in art, where his heart is. Here,” Bucky flipped through and found a photo of one of Steve’s drawings, a drawing of Bucky in high school. “Did that at fifteen.” In the picture, Bucky’s body was whole and unmarked.

“Wow!” she looked impressed, “that’s very good! Your husband has quite the talent.”

“TJ, what’s your favorite part of being married to Steve,” Bucky asked.

TJ looked at Bucky and then at the waitress. “Steve knows how to take care of me,” he answered before taking a sip of his ice water.

Nodding, Bucky looked up at the waitress. “I heard some pictures of TJ showing off his new bling made the net?” he acted as if there was nothing shameful or needing to be hidden about the collar and leash.

“Yeah,” she nodded, looking at TJ, “I _love_ the collar you were wearing. Gorgeous.”

Sighing, Bucky reached over to touch his brother’s wrist in a platonic way. “You should see the pearls Steve got him! I’m jealous and I’m not even into jewelry!”

TJ grinned and then went into detail about the pearl collar that Steve had gotten for him.

Sitting back, smiling in fondness, Bucky let TJ shine. He’d found his footing for this small conversation and TJ’s natural love of company and attention drew the staff like bees to a flower. In fact, three other staff members, including the cook, carrying their order, showed up to listen to TJ talking happily. Bucky silently accepted the food, not interrupting his brother or chasing the listeners away. He snapped a few pics, capturing the enraptured staff, and sent them to Uncle Bud with a caption _’TJ talking about his pearls.’_ He then texted _’three weeks ago he was afraid to meet his neighbors and now look at him shine!’_

TJ jumped from one story to the next, smiling and laughing. He’d always drawn people in, ever since he was a kid; people would be captured by his overall sweet personality. He knew Bucky wouldn’t let any of them hurt him or say anything mean, so he continued to entertain them with stories.

Bucky glanced at his phone when he got a text, thinking it was from Uncle Bud about TJ’s case. His smiled faded at the sight of a very clear picture of Bucky and TJ leaving the hotel. The collar let him know that it was for dinner, not for their tryst. Flicking his thumb quickly over his phone’s controls, he sent the picture to his uncle with the text _’WTF? That’s us going to dinner. We’re in Jersey checking on TJ and Steve’s house they’re buying.’_

Bud’s text came a few minutes later, _’probably paparazzi. Keep your brother safe and happy. We almost have enough proof that Pierce was the one that leaked attack vids.’_

Texting back _’you got it, Uncle Bud,’_ Bucky slipped his phone away again, and offered his brother a smile, nudging his pie over, glad TJ was so used to shining at dinner parties that he didn’t even realize he’d been eating.

After dinner was eaten and paid for, TJ said goodbye to the staff, promising he’d come back soon.

Bucky hated to do it, but he determined to draw attention to TJ’s reticence like he’d displayed when they’d first entered. Bucky asked, softly but loud enough to be heard by the staff still around them, “want me to check before you leave, TJ?”

Blinking, TJ looked at his brother and then nodded.

Bucky patted his arm and nodded. “Stay here. I’ll check and come get you. You’re safe.” He kept with the soft tone. Walking over to the door, he literally went out, checked thoroughly, wondering if he’d catch the paparazzi, then came in. “Come on, TJ. Let’s get back to the motel. Got a busy day checking over your house bid tomorrow.”

Smiling, TJ gave the staff one last wave before hurrying out.

Bucky paid the waitress and whispered, “thanks for helping him relax. He’s been so high strung we can barely get him out the door. May’ve noticed when we came in.”

The waitress shook her head and put the change back in Bucky’s palm, “he’s a beautiful man. I’m sorry for what happened to him.”

Bucky gave her a reasonable, but not overly high, tip, and took his brother’s arm, leading him out and back towards the motel.

With each step, TJ became aware again of the large plug buried deep inside him. He was aching, but not erect. He keened softly and leaned into his brother, platonic enough not to draw suspicion to them but enough to let Bucky know he wanted him.

Very softly, grinned and bumping shoulders with TJ, Bucky whispered, “someone’s taking pictures. We’re legal, but let’s get back in the room, okay?”

Huffing, used to the media following him, TJ nodded and pulled back from his brother.

Bucky took that time to lean close and bump TJ, as if they were playing a small shoving game as they walked. “So pretty when you pout,” he chuckled, a teasing sound that would be taken as a brother’s joke.

TJ rolled his eyes and pouted more. All he wanted was Bucky inside of him; they hadn’t gotten that far earlier and he was aching for his brother to fill him so full.

They got back to the motel room and Bucky easily let them in. He made sure the door was shut and locked, checking the curtains and all around before nodding in satisfaction then emptying his pockets. Softly, he said, “you look so empty, brother mine. Like you need something?” He grinned at TJ lasciviously.

TJ keened, shifting from one foot to the other, the plug stretching and wiggling inside of him.

Bucky slid out of his jacket as he approached TJ. “Take off your shirt for me, Teej.”

Immediately following the order, TJ quickly removed his shirt and let it fall to the floor. The slender brunet had developed a full body flush and he mewled, reaching for his brother.

Nodding, Bucky opened his arms to his older twin brother. “Come kiss me then I’ll get to all that making love I promised. You’ve been so good, TJ. Look how you smiled and flirted in public. I’m so proud of you!”

Whimpering under the praise, TJ rushed over to his brother and crashed his lips against Bucky’s, tongue slipping into his twin’s mouth.

Running his hands down to cup his twin through the jeans and squeeze hard, Bucky lifted TJ to grind his member against the chastity belt. He kissed back, moaning and growling softly as he kneaded his brother’s ass, making the plug move and even hit his prostate once.

TJ cried out in pleasure and pain, the plug hitting his prostate only had him kissing Bucky harder, more desperate. TJ nipped and pulled at Bucky’s bottom lip as he rolled his hips.

With a deeper growl, Bucky let his hands rove to the front of the denim, catching his fingers on the zippers. Grinning, Bucky dropped down to his knees and slowly, very slowly, as slowly as when he’d opened his brother . . . he opened the zippers. Bucky looked up through his dark lashes, the grin pure wickedness.

“Please . . . please - - oh, Bucky . . . please . . . I hurt for you . . . please,” TJ begged on a needy whine.

“What? You want out of this?” Bucky asked, slipping his hand in the confines of the jeans and cupping his brother in the chastity belt.

“Yes!” TJ exclaimed on a moan, “please . . . Bucky I need you to fuck me . . . fill me . . . love me . . . please?”

“I ain’t fuckin’ ya tonight, big brother,” Bucky breathed out, but obligingly slid TJ’s jeans down and helped him out of pants, shoes, and socks. He stood and gripped the boxer briefs and lowered them, too.

“Love me . . . love me, please, Buck . . . love me like only you can,” TJ pleaded as Bucky lowered his boxers. He ached in every way for his brother, he needed to be filled.

Nodding as he stood up, Bucky reached back and cupped TJ’s ass and squeezed. “Ready to get outta this thing?”

“Please? Oh - - please, Bucky,” TJ whimpered, grinding against his brother.

“Learned something?” Bucky grinned, assuring TJ it wasn’t really a punishment and any answer was fine, even sass.

“Yes, yes . . . I won’t tease you in Colorado any more, Buck . . . I won’t - - please . . . I hurt for you,” TJ mewled.

Laughing, Bucky reached up and undid the snap holding the entire thing in place. He eased it off, cupping TJ’s crotch while he maneuvered the big plug out of him. Finally, as the black colored toy popped free obscenely, Bucky lowered the cup away, too and put the toy on a towel set on the desk for such things awaiting cleaning. He reached over and massaged TJ’s member, soothing and teasing it, letting his fingers rub against his brother’s sac and skin over his taint. “That feel better, Teej?”

Moaning, TJ pressed into Bucky’s touch; he nodded as his cock _finally_ began to twitch and fill. “Yes - - thank you, Buck . . . please, make love to me now? Please? I’ve been good . . . please.”

“Only if you agree to two more toys, TJ. I wanna love you right.” Bucky caressed again then stepped back, dipping his hand in the bag.

“What toys, Bucky?” TJ asked breathlessly.

Nodding, Bucky pulled out something of his own that he’d left in their box when he’d packed in Colorado. He pulled out the clean cockhead ring he’d ordered and received that day they’d learned the laws. Holding it up, he offered it to TJ; the silver metal would go right under the glans and the metal bead would provide extra stimulation. “Put that on,” he ordered softly.

Moaning softly, TJ took the ring and put it on so it wrapped just under the head of his member.

Bucky chuckled. “Oh, so you’re topping now?” he teased.

Blinking, TJ flushed and realized what he’d done. 

“I’m gonna wear it so I can make it hit your prostate, so make sure the bead’s on top, TJ,” Bucky ordered with a smile. “So put it on me, brother mine.”

Flushing brighter, TJ took off the cockhead ring and then dropped to his knees in front of his brother to slip the ring onto Bucky’s cock. He looked up at his twin from where he knelt.

Bucky trailed a hand into TJ’s curls and nodded, “go ahead, Teej. I know you wanna taste. But remember, if you get me off, no fill up.”

Nodding, TJ licked and wrapped his lips around the head of Bucky’s erection, the cool metal of the ring clicking against his teeth. He looked up at Bucky, lips spread over his twin’s thick cock.

“So beautiful with me in you, no matter how we do it, Teej. You like my cock?” He stroked the soft curls.

Pulling off, lips bright red, TJ nodded, “oh, yes, Buck. I love your cock.”

“You like playing with me?” Bucky continued, still gently stroking, no pain, no high stimulation, just gentle, loving caresses and petting.

“Yes, Bucky, I love playing with you,” TJ panted, pale eyes blown as he met his twin’s eyes.

“And you like the toys?” Bucky stroked again, his other hand going to TJ’s shoulders, stroking, petting.

“I love the toys, Buck. You are so good, you know just want I want,” TJ grinned.

“Got one last toy for you, tonight, TJ. You want me to put it in?” Bucky smiled down at his brother.

“Yes, I want it, whatever it is,” TJ agreed quickly, nodding.

Nodding, Bucky pulled his member out of Tj’s reach as he stepped over to the bag and pulled out a DVD in a plain black case marked _Marvel XXX_. He grinned. “Background sounds and vids?”

TJ looked at the case with surprised eyes.

“I promise to only put the first on loop, okay? It’s based on those Avengers shows you and Steve told me I’d like. I ordered it for you guys, but I see Steve never pulled them outta the case . . . and I guess you never noticed?” Bucky looked smug. “The first one is called _Iron Balls Man_.”

TJ laughed and nodded, “okay. Whatever you want, Buck.”

Shrugging, he said, “I get into role play. Me and Nat can make it last all night.” He grinned and put the disc into the motel player, setting it to just play the first of the mini-movies. He wanted to see the look on his brother’s face when TJ realized it was actually gay porn, not hetero.

TJ’s mouth dropped open as the first scene began to play; he looked at Bucky and then back at the screen.

“So? You okay with this vid?” Bucky smiled and held out his arms in a silent plea for a hug.

Hurrying over, TJ wrapped his arms around Bucky and nuzzled the larger man’s neck.

Laughing, kissing TJ soundly, Bucky whispered, “I got you the entire set, TJ, for your wedding gift. Steve was being naughty not opening it for you. What? He’s got a problem with Iron Man or Captain America or Hulk?” Bucky hugged TJ close and tight, letting his hands caress over his back and hips.

Mewling, TJ ground his fully erect member against Bucky’s, “please . . . Buck. I still hurt for you.”

Nodding, Bucky began kissing his brother, cupping his face as he slid his tongue inside TJ’s mouth, savoring the taste of his twin.

TJ growled, kissing desperately and pushed against his brother hard enough that Bucky stumbled back a few steps.

Bucky slammed into the window but laughed at his brother’s enthusiasm. “Why don’t we continue this on the bed, TJ? I’m gonna need a bandaid if we keep this up. And I’m fresh outta _Chris Evans_ band aids.” He winked, knowing that everyone in the group teased Steve about resembling the dark-haired Captain America actor, despite being so blond he was nearly platinum. With hot kisses, Bucky guided TJ back to the bed and pushed him against it, face first, reaching between his legs to stroke his ass and taint. “Oh, still hot and open for me, TJ?” Bucky groaned.

“Yes . . . yes, please, Bucky, love me! Love me, please?” TJ whined, pushing back against Bucky’s hands.

“I _do_ love you, brother mine. Always will.” Bucky lifted his member in one hand and lined up. He paused and began pressing slowly, impaling TJ on his hard erection. The ring and bead dragged against sensitive nerve endings, as promised, including TJ’s prostate.Bucky paused, dragged back and thrust forward, over and over, just enough to massage that bead over the erotic nerve bundle.”There? You like that there?” he breathed into TJ’s neck.

Moaning loud, TJ met Bucky’s thrusts, filling the room with the noise of skin slapping against skin.

“You do?” Bucky asked, pleased. “Well, then you're gonna like this.” Bucky pushed in all the way, bottoming out roughly, his pelvis slamming into TJ’s ass with a slapping jarring stop. “Balls deep in my twin’s beautiful ass. You like that?”

Moaning even louder, so loud that someone passing by the door might hear, TJ nodded, his back bowing. “Yes . . . wanna feel you for days, Bucky.”

“Days? Like in Colorado?” Bucky growled and began pulling out. He slammed back in, hard and deep, ramming himself over and over again into his brother, knowing that the bead would drag against TJ’s prostate with every thrust. He growled and grunted as he worked his brother’s tight, hot ass.

Groaning, grunting with each slam of Bucky’s hips, TJ gripped one of the towels that covered the mattress. He continued his loud moaning, without a doubt the ring causing TJ to be abnormally loud. He pushed back with Bucky’s thrusts, pushing his brother as deep as possible every time he bottomed out.

Bucky kissed between TJ’s shoulder blades and grunted, “lift . . . leg . . . Teej.” He eased back his thrusts to help TJ slide one leg up a bit on the bed, exposing him and putting him at a different angle. Bucky began thrusting again, growling and grunting as he worked in and out of TJ. Still holding TJ’s thigh with his right hand, he reached over with his left and began stroking TJ’s hard shaft in rhythm with their thrusts. “So damn full . . . so tight, Teej . . .”

The moaning finally stopped as TJ’s voice was taken from him by the change in angle, his mouth hung open in a look of pure erotic pleasure. He continued to match Bucky’s rhythm, that ring hitting his prostate with each thrust without fail.

Bucky began to pant harder as he got closer to his orgasm. He thrust faster, his hips stuttering from his smooth rhythm. “God, make me wanna cum, brother mine. Wanna fill you with cum . . .”

TJ nodded, trying to tell Bucky that he was getting close as well; he could feel his balls tightening and his own hips slipped out of rhythm.

“Now, big brother!” Bucky moaned, loud and long, louder than any other time with TJ. He thrust hard, deep, pounding as he gave a shout and came hard, hot ropes of thick seed filling his twin's tight ass, slipping out round his cock to overflow down TJ’s ass to the towel below them.

With Bucky’s hard thrust, TJ’s arms gave out underneath him and his torso fell to the mattress, slipping Bucky’s cock in just that much deeper as he cried out hoarsely, cumming in Bucky’s hand. He covered his brother’s hand and the towels.

Groaning low, Bucky straightened and ran his hand up and down TJ’s sweat-sheened spine. He grabbed himself and pulled out of TJ’s passage, more cum pouring from his brother’s over-full hole. “God, so beautiful wrecked, big brother. I filled you so full . . .” Bucky leaned down and kissed the dimple above his crack then stood and gently ran his cock over TJ’s butt and between his cheeks, through the cum and lube mix.

Whimpering, TJ panted and his limbs quivered, looking, like Bucky had said, completely wrecked. His hips involuntarily rolled back against Bucky’s exploring cock. He could still feel his twin’s cum running down his thighs from his overfilled passage. TJ keened again, unable to push up on his shaking arms. Sweat made his hair stick to his forehead and temples, and his entire body was covered in a sheen mist.

Bucky kissed TJ’s dimple again then pulled up and off. He wrapped his arms lovingly around his smaller brother and hefted him onto the bed. “Be right back, brother mine. Gonna get stuff to wash you good.” He stroked TJ’s abdomen and hurried to the bathroom.

TJ simply laid where Bucky had left him; he couldn’t have moved even if he’d wanted to at that point. He tried to take deep breaths to calm himself down from the mind blowing sex he’d just had.

Walking back out with the ice bucket filled with water and several washcloths, Bucky scooted onto the bed with half his butt, the other leg dangling down and covered in their fluids, exposed to the door if someone walked in. He began tenderly washing TJ with a warm wet cloth, over his torso and arms, dipping the cloth often and moving over his hips and thighs. Bucky carefully washed TJ’s pelvis, avoiding his member, sac, and passage, though he did help TJ turn to his side, ass to Bucky so he could wash as much as he could from his lover. “Check in, brother?”

“Green,” TJ rasped out, “that was . . . holy shit, Bucky . . .”

“Our personal best?” Bucky chuckled. “Shall I teach Steve a few things me and Natasha learned over our marriage?”

“God, yes!” TJ smiled.

“For a dom he’s pretty vanilla, huh?” Bucky chuckled, proud of his new vocabulary.

“You have no idea, I’ve been trying to get him to get a little rougher sometimes but he’s just too scared of hurting me,” TJ stretched.

“TJ, honey, not to be a downer, but Steve and you started a relationship after your attack, right?” Bucky slowly, very gently began washing TJ’s rosebud, but did not dip inside.

“Yeah, he found me after . . .” TJ agreed softly, looking over his shoulder at his twin.

“There’s your reason, TJ. He’s afraid of hurting you like asshat did,” Bucky borrowed Uncle Bud’s word. “And he’s afraid he’ll terrify you if he gets rough.”

Humming, TJ nodded making a mental note to try and talk to his husband as soon as possible. He didn't want Steve living in constant fear that he'd be too rough and hurt TJ. He loved how Bucky didn't treat him like he was made of glass, and, while he loved Steve's coddling, sometimes TJ needed a firmer, rougher hand.

After the twins were all clean, Bucky removed the towels from the bed and they settled down in the bed. TJ curled up next to his brother, his head lying on Bucky’s firm chest as he began to doze off.


	20. Household Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings: Discussion of past abuse and trauma; Legal talk; Gags, body restraints, and chastity devices**

Another week passed by in somewhat of a blur for TJ. Steve’s offer on the house had been accepted, and because he didn’t need a loan on the property, they were able to get the keys and move in all that much faster. Doug and Anne had returned to DC, looking a bit reluctant, while Natasha had been granted the third floor so she wouldn’t be stuck in New York on her own during the divorce.

After the date with Bucky, TJ looked radiant, happy. He’d even managed to talk about his concerns with Steve about his husband being _too_ gentle sometimes. Though Steve agreed to try and get a little rougher during some of their play, he made TJ promise to tell him right away if things got too rough.

Finally, it was the day that Bucky, Natasha, Steve and TJ would move into their new home. Clint was there, helping them move as well, though no one had actually asked out loud if he was moving in, too. He hadn’t obviously brought anything of his own with him, though. The pets were all kenneled for the first few days so the humans could get things organized before introducing the animals to their new domain.

As they carried the last of the boxes into the large three story home, TJ grinned up at his husband. “We're home, sir.”

Pulling his husband into a happy embrace, Steve echoed “home . . .” He dropped a kiss to TJ’s neck, slightly rocking him in a comfortable hug as he looked around.

TJ looked around the house: boxes were scattered throughout the home with their labels matching the room they were supposed to be in. Hearing the front door open, he turned to see his brother and Natasha walking in with the last load of their boxes. Clint followed carrying a box marked ‘basement’ he probably had no idea what was inside. The lean brunet smiled brightly at his twin. After today they would be able to love each other freely without worry of being arrested.

Winking at his twin, Bucky looked around the large entryway connected with the living room. “Smells like freedom, doesn’t it, my love?” He smiled down at his beautiful soon-to-be ex-wife. “Better start getting settled. I have a feeling we want time to work on our dungeon all together.”

Bucky turned and carried the first box to the next floor up; he, Steve, and TJ were given the entire second floor, consisting of four bedrooms, a general bathroom, and a master bath. The third floor, with the same layout, had been given over to Natasha. The renovated attic, consisting of a grand bath and a sprawling single bedroom, had been claimed by Doug and Anne. If they had guests, they would be forced to house them on the second and third floors, leaving the political couple of Doug and Anne in total comfort and privacy. Naturally, the first floor was for general living and entertaining, leaving the refurbished basement for the play room, or dungeon as Bucky had playfully called it.

“Dungeon?” Clint asked, sounding amused but not put off or confused. “Would I be allowed to help out or is that strictly family?”

TJ looked at Bucky and then at Steve before his eyes settled on Clint. It still felt a bit odd to TJ how Natasha was moving in with them and that Clint would also be joining in some family play as well, but, TJ tried to move past that. He knew if Bucky was fine with the fact that his ex-wife and her new lover were moving in with them, then, he really couldn’t mind it either. He tried to move past the fear and anxiety of adding a new member to their odd little group. A part of him worried that too many people were finding out about his and Bucky’s relationship, that it was only a matter of time before word got out.

Steve looked thoughtfully at Clint then to his husband. “Natasha? What do you think?” he temporized.

Natasha looked between Steve and Clint for a moment, “I don’t see a problem with Clint helping out. Might give him a chance to see what he signed on for,” she gave her boyfriend a wink.

TJ scrunched up his nose but didn’t say anything, and the expression was so fast that it could’ve easily been missed.

Clint nodded and turned to put the box he carried on a counter. “Hey, TJ, I heard there’s a great former music room in this place. I play piano. Wanna show me it?”

The lean brunet blinked at Clint in surprise and then looked up at Steve, who nodded permission, and then back at Clint. “Uh . . . yeah . . . sure.” TJ stepped from Steve’s arms and headed towards the music room. Over his shoulder he told Clint, “we don’t have a piano yet. But, Steve’s planning on getting one. I . . .” TJ paused for a moment and then continued, “didn’t know you played, Clint.”

Nodding, Clint followed TJ, walking a bit louder than normal in his soft sneakers, trying to keep TJ aware of his every move. He was all too familiar with TJ’s case, since he’d been the cop working it until Natasha started dating him. “I love playing, but mostly comedy stuff or parody songs. I write, too, but nothing serious.” He walked into the room and stopped dead, looking around with wide, appreciative blue-grey eyes. It was evident Clint knew about acoustics and music from the way he admired the bare room. “Gorgeous . . .” he whispered, smiling as his tones reverberated lowly through the space.

TJ nodded in agreement, stepping into the room and looking around. “Yeah, it’ll be nice once we get the piano in here. I guess people will be able to hear perfectly from the next room over,” he gestured to the room behind him. “The agent said something about when the house was built people didn’t wanna watch the musicians play or something,” the lean brunet shrugged softly, toying with the hem of his soft shirt nervously. He’d never been alone with Clint.

“Too busy flirting and chasing each other probably, if I know my history,” Clint snorted in derision. “Fools.” He looked around again and stepped out to the large room Steve planned to use for art, overlooking the patio and backyard. “TJ? Can we talk?” He gestured outside at the chilly backyard, “but somewhere not cold?” Clint looked over his shoulder at the other man.

“Um . . . sure?” TJ agreed, chewing his bottom lip. He looked around the room again, still fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

“I was thinking that, because of how we met, I know quite a bit about you, but you don’t have that same knowledge about me. It must be pretty overwhelming with me dating Tasha and all. So, I thought I’d give you a chance to ask me anything you want? We can get to know one another. Wanna sit here in the art room?” He knew the big room was very visible from the hall with the doors open so TJ wouldn’t feel cornered. “Or we could talk in the music room. Nothing I say needs to be kept from the others if they overhear. I’m willing to be an open book with the family.”

Looking at the opened doorway and then back at Clint, TJ nodded. “There’s nowhere to sit in here . . . no furniture yet,” the smaller man seemed nervous.

Clint sank to the center of the wooden floor and sprawled, arms bracing him from behind, legs stretched out. “I’m comfy,” he grinned, knowing the position would transmit any planned movements to the understandably skittish man. “You can sit by the door if you prefer. No offense here.”

Blinking a few times, TJ nodded and then sat down a few feet away from the other man, closer to the door.

“First, let me say that if you don’t wanna talk about your case, your family politics, or anything else, I’m not bothered. But if you do, I’m here. I’m great for listening still, even if I’m not your caseworker anymore.” Clint grinned, but his eyes reflected sadness that they’d had to meet that way at all. “Second, just so you know the darkest secrets about me, my mother and father were siblings.” Clint waited.

TJ’s mouth dropped open and he looked at the blond across from him for several moments. “They . . . what? Really?”

“Tasha assured me that wouldn’t bother you, but if it does, I can understand. My grandparents were so pissed when they found out, they got my mother married off to a boy from our home town, saying she’d been raped by some unknown drifter. She stayed with him for a few years and had my brother Daniel, but neither were happy. It ended in divorce. I wasn’t allowed near my biological dad, my uncle as everyone called him, until after my grandparents died. That’s when I found out the entire story.” Clint met TJ’s eyes and there was only honesty and regret in his, no deception.

Watching Clint for a few moments, TJ shook his head, “I . . . uh . . . I don’t have a problem with your parents being brother and sister. I’m sorry that they weren’t able to be happy together . . .” TJ pulled his long legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“Well, even in Jersey they wouldn’t be allowed to be married, but they’d at least been allowed to explore their affections,” Clint sighed and sat up, but made no move towards TJ. “I understand you and Bucky were separated practically at birth? Sucks, man. Tasha, once I told her about my parents, told me that you both share a special kind of love.” Clint looked at TJ. “I’m glad you’ll get a chance to explore that, TJ.”

TJ shrugged softly and said, “if we hadn’t been separated at birth I doubt we’d love each other like we do now. Bucky’s dad, I guess my dad, too, was abusive. He woulda beat it outta us.”

Leaning forward, over his still stretched out legs, proving he was very limber, Clint shook his head, showing confidence. “I think he’d have beaten you guys into hiding it is all. I think when you’re in love, you know it real deep inside and you have this _need_ to follow it.”

“Well,” TJ sighed softly, resting his chin on his knees, “I guess we aren’t very good at that . . . Brock knew . . . he . . .” the brunet shook his head, hugging his legs closer to his body.

“That guy has a long list of accusing his fellow teachers of incest, TJ,” Clint told the other man. He waited for that to sink in. “He got lucky when he accused you, because he was right, but he only knew after you reacted to the accusation. I can show you a few tricks on how to hide your emotions I learned while interrogating suspects, if you want? I can show Bucky, too.”

“I don’t want to hide it,” TJ practically whimpered, “but . . . I’m scared - -” the brunet closed his mouth when Clint spoke up.

“I meant from nosy people out in the world, but I can get that. You want to be allowed to love whom you love without other people jumping in and interfering or judging.” Clint sighed. “In Jersey, you’re legal, TJ, but that doesn’t mean others won’t judge you. People are usually nice until it goes against what they think is right. Then they turn into snakes with closed minds.”

“I’m scared someone is gonna hurt Bucky like Brock hurt me if they find out . . .” TJ breathed out, a fear he hadn’t even admitted to Steve.

Nodding, Clint slid his feet closer to his body, hugging his knees. “Yeah . . . I get that. I think there’s a better chance of some asshole trying something because you guys are gay rather than because your incestuous, but I get it.” He looked at TJ, something about Clint’s body language denoting a private pain or fear as well, the posture was so defensive, like TJ’s.

Sighing softly, TJ looked over at Clint, “why did you go into police work? Special Victims? Seems like a hard line of work . . . dealing with . . . _that_ all the time?”

Nodding, Clint sighed and touched the side of his head. He met TJ’s eyes. “When i was sixteen, I started messing around with boys as well as girls. I even fooled around with Daniel a bit, but that went nowhere. Daniel wasn’t into it, and I guess that’s best. I was a randy kid and anyone was fair game. But I never forced myself on anyone.” Clint sighed and dropped his eyes to the floor, hugging his knees tighter. “The neighbor girl was really into it, too, and she let me do all kinds of things with her. She liked a bit of pain and punishment, you know?” Clint didn’t look up, but his very tone, his body language, spoke truth. “I was tying her up in the barn when her daddy found us. He beat me so bad, I wound up deaf in both ears, but my aids help almost all the time now. Any way, she said I raped her and tied her up against her will. That’s why he beat me so bad. And the neighbors, hearing her side, never even got the cops involved. It was a jury of vigilantes.” Looking at TJ, Clint said, “and my grandparents encouraged it. I ran away, took Daniel with me, and swore I’d never let anyone get hurt like that. I wanted to make sure all sides were heard and the real victims got help. To this day, that girl has never been punished for letting her daddy nearly kill me, TJ. No one deserves to be hurt, especially on a lie. And most abusers lie like snakes in the grass.”

TJ didn’t know how long he stared at Clint with wide eyes, the story repeating itself over and over again in his mind. “Oh . . . I’m sorry, Clint,” TJ breathed out.

“I know I said I wouldn’t push you to talk about your own case, TJ, but when that asshole claimed you were his boyfriend and you _wanted_ to be treated that way? I saw red. I had to take your case even if everyone was afraid to touch it. I just wish there were more like me out there.” Clint sighed.

Swallowing thickly, TJ let out a shaky breath, “Clint?”

“Yeah, TJ?” Clint put his chin on his knees.

“I know with the videos being released . . .” TJ bit his bottom lip and sighed, “but with Brock saying that I wanted it . . . that I had some sick rape fantasy . . . is there a chance he may get out?”

Sighing, Clint nodded, wanting to be honest with the brunet. “Yeah, unfortunately there is. There’s always a chance he can get a real good, high priced lawyer to convince the jury he’s misunderstood and you’re into fetish rape.”

TJ licked his lips and he look ashamed, “and . . . if there’s an old boyfriend who liked to . . .” TJ whimpered, “if they find out about him . . .”

“TJ, did you have a boyfriend who beat you, even if you wanted it?” Clint asked gently, his eyes worried. “Nothing wrong with a beating, TJ, but it’s important for the case to know this stuff.”

“I - - I haven’t even told Steve,” TJ’s eyes blurred with tears.

“TJ, look at me, honey.” Clint scooched a bit closer, but nowhere near enough to reach the brunet. “Did you play at rape fantasy with a previous boyfriend?”

“I - - I didn’t like it . . . but he was into it . . .” TJ breathed out, “it was the only way he’d . . . love me?”

Nodding, Clint sighed, “some sick bastards only want love a specific way because they aren’t man enough to accept what is offered, honey. That man was wrong. It’ll be hard, TJ, but you _need_ to warn your lawyers about that old boyfriend and what you experimented in, stressing the experimented part, so no one else digs him up and throws him on the stand against you. If your lawyers can get to him first, they might be able to either get him to agree to testify it was a one time thing he pushed for and you didn’t like or get him taken off the witness list for everyone as having no significance.”

“It wasn’t a one time thing,” TJ whispered, a tear running down his cheek, though he quickly wiped it away.

“Okay, but they need to know, TJ. I’m coming over to you now and giving you a hug, okay?” Clint slowly made his way over to the brunet, sank next to him, and slid an arm around him - - only one arm. He carefully pulled TJ into a strong hug, but not so strong TJ couldn’t break free. “Your adopted dad is working this case, right? TJ, does he know you had a boyfriend who play-raped you?”

“No one knows,” TJ whimpered, leaning into the hug, “how is anyone going to believe me?”

“TJ, look at me, honey.” Clint met the other man’s eyes. “Every time that boyfriend did the rape thing, you told him _’yes,’_ right? _Every_ time?”

Looking at Clint, TJ looked miserable, “I - - I . . . there . . . he didn’t understand that it wasn’t part of the game?”

“Then Brock wasn’t your only rapist, TJ. There needs to be specific consent and safe words for rape fantasy. And if those specific consent words aren’t meant, it means that one partner doesn't want that fantasy, making it a real rape instead. TJ, honey, was that boyfriend in the last seven years?” Clint hugged again with one arm, but kept his hand on TJ’s arm, his other on the floor beside him.

“I - - I broke up with him a few months before I met Sean,” TJ admitted.

“And how long ago did you and Sean break up, TJ? This is important. If that rape boyfriend was in the past seven years, you can charge him with rape, too, if you want. That isn’t needed, but it can happen.” Clint watched TJ’s eyes.

TJ’s eyes widened and he shook his head frantically, “I - - I don’t want to . . . then everyone will know, Clint!”

“Honey, calm down. Deep breaths,” Clint instructed in a calm order. “Three deep breaths.”

The brunet did as instructed and let out a tiny whimper.

“Good boy,” Clint praised as if without thinking, though he was very aware that TJ was a submissive personality; Nat had told him pretty much everything about the family. “Now, I am _not_ going to make you press charges against the guy, okay? But I _am_ going to make you tell your two lovers. They need to know this kind of thing, TJ. Not today,” Clint held up his free hand. “But before the trial goes to court date, okay? I don’t want any of you facing surprises that might hurt you guys.”

“No . . .” TJ shook his head, looking miserable, “th - - they’ll think I’m sick . . .” the brunet’s breath hitched in the back of his throat as he held back a sob.

“They’ll think you’re sick because you let your boyfriend play out a fantasy and he took advantage and actually raped you?” Clint’s voice held worry. “TJ, honey, how does that make _you_ sick? It makes that other guy sick for abusing you. It makes you a loving partner for trying out and letting him have his fantasies. Do you understand the difference? For you it was letting him play, and he pushed too far.” Clint finally put his free hand on TJ’s face, stroking the tears away softly. “Your husband and brother are not going to hate you for trying a fantasy or trying to please your lover. Are they? Think about it, honey?”

Swallowing thickly, TJ shook his head and let out another trembling breath, “will Brock get out, though? I - - If I tell about this boyfriend? What if he already knows?”

“If your lawyers have that information, they can counter Brock’s claims of a repeat boyfriend rape fantasy. They will have a defense against that excuse, TJ. I know it’s terrifying. And no one has the right to know your private affairs and activities. It sucks that Brock keeps taking away your privacy and freedom. But, if this boyfriend shows up and claims you _like_ rape fantasies, Brock gets points in the jury's eyes. Do you understand?” Clint shook his head. “But, TJ, if Matt and Foggy know you had tried it out they can talk to the guy, make sure he won’t go lying on the stand and make up things. They can point out, if needed, that you broke up with him because of, partially, this very fantasy you did _not_ enjoy. Does that make sense?”

Clint turned to face TJ fully, placing both hands on the brunet’s shoulders. “What it comes down to, TJ, is being proud of who you are and defending your right to do something with one guy and not having to repeat it with another. Just because you played rape with one guy, doesn’t mean you wanted it from Brock. And the very fact that you reported Brock and got tested at the hospital proves that you didn’t want it from him, okay, honey?”

“But, what if Brock gets out?” TJ whimpered.

In a deadly serious tone, Clint said, “then I will shoot the bastard in his nuts and gladly go to prison to keep him from you. You _won’t_ be hurt again, TJ. I swear Brock won’t touch you.”

Taking and then releasing a deep breath, TJ slowly nodded, “I - - I’ll hafta tell Bucky and Steve . . .” he bit his lip and worried at it.

Clint nodded. “Yes, honey. You will. And if you want, I can help you tell them. Explain things if they get confused. I’m sure they’ll be supportive of you. They both love you very much.” Clint smiled softly. “Now, TJ, don’t get scared, but I’m going to kiss you right now.” And without waiting, Clint placed his lips gently on the brunet’s forehead in a kiss very much like Elaine used to give TJ when he was still a young child. Clinton backed up. “I think more talking might wait until you’ve gotten unpacked and found a safety hole in your new home, right, TJ?”

Nodding, TJ took another steadying breath and wiped at his cheeks, clearing any lingering tears. “Thank you, Clint . . . I’m sorry I was . . . so . . .”

“So protective of your special family from a near stranger who might have threatened your world?” Clint grinned and stood up, helping the brunet to his feet.

TJ accepted the help and stood up.

The shorter man grinned up at TJ. “Don’t be, TJ. How were you to know anything about me without me telling you? It’s not like I share myself with the world, either.” Clint brushed his hands together. “So, TJ . . . even if I’m not allowed to play in the group yet, if ever, can I still help set up the dungeon? I’ve always wanted to see one, and never dared join any BDSM clubs. Cop and all, you know?” Clint headed for the door.

“As long as you’re comfortable with it . . . you can play?” TJ said softly.

Clint stopped and smiled wider at TJ. “I had to learn to dominate as a cop, TJ, but . . . I hope to find a good group to help take care of me. I think I deserve it after all I’ve seen.” He stretched. “Think Tasha would mind if I give her a bunch of wildflowers? Most ladies like roses or stuff, but I’m a simple kinda guy.” He stopped to let TJ catch up and softly said, “I’d be very much honored if I could play with the family, TJ. I want so much the love you guys have for each other. I hope I can earn that.”

TJ offered Clint a small smile, “I think she’d like the flowers, and I say you’ve earned a trial date at the very least.” 

“I’ll behave,” Clint grinned widely, his eyes serious but the rest of his expression relaxed and playful. It was obvious there were hidden pained depths in the man he didn't often show. “I’m gonna go unpack the bathrooms, I think. Get my head on straight again. I haven't had a good open talk with anyone, except Tasha, in forever.” He paused. “It feels good and bad at the same time, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” TJ sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Once they made their way back to where the others were, TJ gave his brother a small smile.

Bucky grinned back, several of the second floor boxes already having been transported while TJ and Clint had been bonding. “I think Steve wants another cuddle, brother mine,” he said, studying TJ for any signs of trauma. Bucky’d kick Natasha’s new boyfriend’s ass if he hurt TJ.

TJ nuzzled Bucky’s neck, Bucky sighing and letting him happily, and then moved on to Steve.

Wrapping his arms around TJ, Steve cuddled his husband close, whispering, “everything okay, pet?”

“They’re . . . okay,” TJ nodded, keeping his voice low, “Clint and I talked. There’s something I need to tell you and Bucky . . . but it can wait until later.”

Steve kissed TJ’s neck again and pulled away, nodding silent agreement. Whispering, softly, he said, “tomorrow’s date night with Bucky, right?” He smiled at his husband. When they’d spoken about TJ’s need for Steve to get a bit more rough, they had also arranged for the twins to have a weekly date night. All other nights were either private for the trio and other couple or their bi-weekly group playdate. This seemed the best way to work out the nearly complicated group relationship.

Humming softly, TJ nodded, “yes, sir.” He picked up one of his and Steve's boxes and began walking it up the flight of stairs. The master bedroom on their floor was for all three lovers, but a second room had been designated for Steve and TJ, apart from Bucky. It had once been a darkly paneled library but had been converted into a large, comfortable bedroom suite. The space, completely open aside from the closed off private bathroom, was brightly lit by a large round window at the front of the house. The walls were a nice, warm cream color. Overall, the space was very welcoming and TJ didn't feel as if he or Steve _drew the short straw_ in the least. The space was perfect for them.

Their large bed had already been brought up and assembled, though it lacked sheets, leaving the mattress bare. Their bedroom furniture, including two dressers, a decorative chest, and two nightstands had also already been brought up by the movers, and fit snugly around the periphery of the room; they would have to stock the master bedroom later. TJ set down his box near one of the dressers and looked around the room with a soft, happy smile.

Steve set a bigger box, filled with clothes, on the floor by one of the dressers and smiled at his husband. “You look as content as a cream-filled cat, pet. So, this is the right house? _Our_ house?”

Smiling wider, TJ walked over to Steve and wrapped his arms around his husband’s neck, “it’s perfect for us.”

“So, not that I plan to interrupt,” Steve chuckled, “but is date night at the motel or here at home?”

TJ frowned softly in thought; after a moment he shrugged, “I actually don’t know . . . Bucky never told me . . .”

“You know what I think is totally adorable about you two?” Steve asked on a cuddle. “The fact that while Bucky’s figuring out he’s a sub, he’s still being your dom for date nights.”

“Is that bad? To be both?” TJ asked softly, looking up at Steve, eyes worried.

“Not at all,” Steve hugged again. “It takes all kinds. If that makes him happy, and you, then who am I to complain? You get once a week to definitely indulge your love with your other half, and the rest is mine.” Lifting TJ’s chin, Steve said, “you’ll let me know if one in seven isn’t good.” It was _not_ a question. “And hopefully, I can explore our budding relationship - - Bucky’s and mine, you know, on one of those other six nights?”

“I will,” TJ promised, leaning forward to kiss his husband gently. “Thank you for . . . understanding. You and Natasha . . . most people would have written us off as disgusting and unnatural but you two didn’t.” TJ leaned forward to kiss Steve again, “and I want you and Bucky to get a chance to explore the relationship you didn’t let yourselves have all these years.”

“Well, glad for lesson one, then, huh?” Steve kissed TJ. On a more serious tone, Steve said, “I’ve never felt like you and Bucky wanted an exclusive relationship. Or like me or Nat was getting short changed, TJ. I saw your love blossoming and growing and it’s made you happier. In this case, you’ve learned to associate love with being touched. So, what would be unnatural to many people becomes a beautiful, tactile proof of caring. I’m not about to take that from you. If anything, psych doctor’s would love to get in on you two, try to figure out, not only what caused you to feel this need, but Bucky to echo it.” He kissed TJ’s lips, “wanna know what I say to them?”

Smiling softly, TJ watched his husband closely, “what do you say?”

“Lesson three, science asshole,” Steve grinned triumphantly.

TJ laughed, a pure, happy sound. He nuzzled Steve’s chest and wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist, “well, thank God for lesson three then.”

“Hey, your Sir knows what’s best, every time. It’s why you let him _be_ your Sir.” Steve cuddled again before pulling back and turning to the steps. “And we get a floor that will let the three of us have our separate time as well as combinations of love needed. I _love_ it!” Winking at TJ, Steve headed down for another box.

Snickering, TJ followed close behind, wanting to get the rooms done so they could start on _the dungeon_ as Bucky had been calling it.

Steve sang out as he turned the landing on the second floor towards the first, “I’m gonna get laid tonight . . .” He had really relaxed among their small group . . . all thanks to TJ’s love and encouragement.

Snorting, TJ rolled his eyes playfully, a smirk on his lips. Just as they made it to the bottom floor, TJ said, with a wicked glint in his eyes, “in your dreams, asshole.” TJ’s tone was playful, teasing, but he’d spoken the words nonetheless.

Pausing, one foot raised to go down the last step, hand on the bannister, Steve said, without turning, “In my dream asshole? Well, that’s the idea. But, if a certain pet thinks he can be naughty, I guess we’ll be breaking in the housewarming gift I’ve got stashed in the dungeons. He’ll need to learn his place. Think date nights are going to his head.” Steve looked over his shoulder and frowned at TJ, his eyes dancing. He turned back around and finished descending, giving no indication what kind of punishment might be in the mysterious set of large boxes that had been moved in by delivery men that morning and waited for unpacking in the basement.

“Well, Sir, maybe Bucky knows how to handle me better than you,” TJ quipped, smiling devilishly.

Stopping again, lifting his face to look at TJ, Bucky, and Natasha on the second floor landing above them and Clint in the first floor bathroom doorway, Steve growled out low and warningly, “well, I might have to have Natasha tie up Bucky and whip him for trying to steal my pet. And speaking of whipping . . .” he turned, calling, “training collar, now!”

A jolt of pleasure ran down TJ’s spine at Steve’s tone and he immediately turned to head back to their room. His collars had been in the box he’d first brought up.

Bucky turned wide grey-blue eyes on Natasha and let out a needy whimper, “but I _do_ handle him better than the Captain!” No one seemed too aware that Clint witnessed the entire by-play.

Patting Bucky’s cheek gently, Natasha leaned forward and whispered, “I know, sweetheart. Best not let the Captain know that though. He’s still learning, yes?” She kissed her soon-to-be ex-husband’s cheek before pulling back slightly so she could give Bucky a smile.

“Does that mean I won’t get tied and whipped?” Bucky asked, not indicating which he might prefer, just keeping his eyes wide and mock innocent.

“Well, do you _deserve_ to be tied up and whipped, my dear?” Natasha asked.

Bucky smirked mischievously before shaking his head and declaring, “oh, _no_! I _never_ deserve to be punished because Captain’s incompetent. Think I might take over his pet.”

“I’m tying him up and whipping him if you can’t get him to show respect for his superiors!” Steve called back in a growl.

Natasha quirked a brow, smirking, not minding Steve’s hint that she couldn’t handle this particular sub.

“He’s too sassy and needs a few lessons to show him how to behave in public!” Steve challenged again, while Bucky smirked and shook his head.

“Oh, you’re _fucked_ ,” TJ sing-songed to his twin as he came back down the stairs, smiling wide. He’d changed into one of his training collars, however he’d left the fleece on because Steve hadn’t directly said it was for punishment. TJ’d remove the lining later when it was closer to playtime, to show his husband that he wanted to feel some pain.

Bucky grinned at TJ, obviously feeling very frisky. “Fucked? Of course I’m fucked. But I choose whether by you or someone else.” He was pushing, indirectly, for a lesson scene that night. Bucky felt like he wanted to try something a bit more drastic than just being tied up and teased.

TJ’s eyes widened slightly; he looked between Steve, Nat and Bucky, watching the scene unfold before him. Hearing Bucky directly challenge Steve sent a thrill running through him; he loved Steve, and Bucky may have some sub in him, but Bucky knew how to dom just as well, if not better in some ways, than Steve.

Suddenly Steve was up the steps, straight past TJ, and threw Bucky against the wall, pushing in against him hard. He growled low, “you have no respect! And if your dom is far too nice to teach you some manners, I’ll be happy to.” He grabbed Bucky by the weaker left arm and forced him down the steps; the brunet looked a bit shocked but somewhat turned on, if the burgeoning erection in his slacks was a go by.

TJ looked at Nat with wide eyes, looking as shocked as his brother. Nat smiled and took TJ’s hand, “come on, little one. Let’s go see what your sir has in store for your brother.” She began to lead TJ down the stairs, following the other two men, signaling Clint to follow along.

Clint adjusted himself in his pants and took a deep breath, hoping he could get in on this scene, too. Voyeurism was great, but Clint hadn’t had a good group scene since his last boyfriend, Frank, his partner, had broken up with him to get married.

Steve forced Bucky to his knees in the middle of the box-crowded living room. Pushing on his neck, Steve made Bucky touch his forehead to the floor and stay there. “If you move, so help me you won’t sit down for a fuckin’ week!” Steve walked over to one of the boxes marked for the basement and opened it up. Since he’d been in charge of packing the toys, he knew precisely what was held in which box. “Strip him, TJ. But don’t you go reassuring him! He is not your pet to soothe.”

Blinking, TJ looked at Steve for a long moment, before his eyes flickered to his twin, bent over in a completely submissive position. Nat had let go of his hand, but he stood still, mouth dropped open slightly. He’d _never_ heard this dominating of a tone from his husband.

“TJ!” Steve barked out, sounding angry. “Are you disobeying me? Do you want to be punished?” He sent a glare to TJ and Natasha before turning back to the box and pulling out something that TJ knew they had but Steve had never used with him.

“No, sir!” TJ shook himself and hurried over to his twin to begin undressing him. In Bucky’s ear, TJ whispered, “told ya you were fucked.”

Bucky’s breath had hitched and he whimpered a bit when he gasped, “not up the ass! Never done that!”

Steve walked over and fastened a leather collar around Bucky’s neck, removing the two chains he always wore; Bucky had never strictly worn a collar, only his looser neck chains from TJ and Steve. Steve attached the collar to a long stiffened leather covered rod that went down Bucky’s breastbone, tugging his best friend backwards to get access. He then bent Bucky’s elbows, put wrist restraints on him and attached those to the long rod. Steve pushed a ball gag, filled with breathing holes, into Bucky’s mouth and strapped it in place. “I’m sick of your fuckin’ mouth. Take him Natasha. Or I’ll tie him to the wall and he _will_ get fucked.” Steve walked away and picked up a box as if nothing had happened, perfectly calm and in control. He carried it up the steps.”TJ, still got more to move!”

TJ whimpered, chancing one last look at his bound and gagged twin, wishing it’d been _him_. Steve had yet to use any of the gags on TJ. Huffing, trying to will away his erection pressing against his trousers, TJ grabbed another box and hurried after Steve.

Clint let out a similar whimper to TJ’s and drew in a few deep breaths, adjusting his burgeoning erection once more in his sweatpants. He glanced to his girlfriend and her current husband.

Bucky looked at his wife with large, shocked steel blue eyes, as if trying to comprehend what the hell just happened to him. His cock was straining, though, showing just how excited he’d gotten in the process.

Natasha shook her head, frowning at her husband, “couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you, dear?” Her emerald eyes sparkled and danced as she took in the sight of her bound husband.

Bucky let out a whimper, drool gathering at the corners of his mouth and beginning to run down, though the holes made it easy enough to breathe. He rocked his hips a bit and whimpered again.

“Come on, dear,” Natasha helped Bucky to his feet, “we’ve still got moving to do.” She bent over and grabbed a smaller, lighter box with her name written on it. She put the box in Bucky’s hands and smacked one ass cheek, “we’re wasting time, dear, come on.”

Bucky moaned a bit and began dutifully walking up the steps, his mind going rapidly, trying to figure out how he’d safe word out of a gag if he needed to. He looked at Natasha and made three soft whimpers in a row, eyes huge.

“Red, dear?” She asked softly.

He shook his head, realizing she was understanding him. Trying again, he did two short whimpers and moved his chin and neck, working his mouth on the gag. His eyes begged her to understand.

Natasha put her box down and walked over to her husband; she quickly removed the gag.

“Lesson fuckin’ eight for that fucker! Makes sure the sub knows how to safe word if he can’t fuckin’ talk!” Bucky grumbled. “How should I safe word, doll? We never did this before.” He didn’t protest the punishment, just the inability to stop it if he couldn’t handle it anymore.

“If you need to safeword out, whimper three times in short succession,” Natasha supplied.

“Like that first time when you asked me _’red?’_ ” Bucky nodded. “And yellow is two and green is one? Yeah, I can do that. Thanks. Can you, please, help me to finish my punishment for talking trash, and tell that fucker he needs to learn gag etiquette?” Bucky opened his mouth. He’d always been a supporter of talking _before_ the scene, not after, and felt Steve got it all backwards.

Laughing softly, Natasha nodded; she slipped the gag into her husband’s mouth and fastened it back on. “Such a good boy, dear.”

Bucky leaned forward and nuzzled at his wife’s neck in apparent gratitude. He then started walking up the steps towards the third floor bathroom to put the soaps and bath oils and such away.

Clint stepped up beside Natasha and drew another shaking breath. “Tasha, you have one hell of a sexy family to play with,” he whispered, longing in his needy tones.

She smirked at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, “you think you'll wanna play with them?”

“Yes, I do,” Clint smiled at his lover. “TJ said I could play once as a trial. Would they mind if I joined in this time or should I wait?” He stepped closer to Natasha, slipping a hand over her ass.

Looking over at Clint, Natasha smiled, “might wanna hold off for a little longer, love, I think Steve had something planned for this evening.”

Nodding, Clint smiled and said, “I can wait for later when we can play. I’ll behave.”

In the smaller bedroom, TJ watched Steve with wide eyes.

Steve seemed perfectly normal, no sign of the annoyance at Bucky showing at all. He smiled at TJ as he moved around the room.

“Sir?” TJ called softly.

“Yes, love?” Steve answered and stopped, looking up.

“How would Bucky safeword out if he couldn’t talk?” TJ asked, watching Steve’s reaction closely.

“Snapping or clapping usually,” Steve promptly answered.

“And if his hands are full?” TJ continued to question.

“That wouldn’t be something I’d do unless we worked on a code, TJ. But safeword red by prearranged signal is standard.” Steve tilted his head. “Why? Want me to gag you right now?”

TJ blinked, mouth opening and snapping shut, “well . . . _yes_ , but - - uh . . . Bucky and Nat have a different way of doing things . . .”

“ _Pre_ arranged means we clearly figure it out before. Why . . . God! He said he does bondage. I didn’t think to check if he does gags!” Steve hurried out to check on the other twin.

TJ nodded, turning to follow his husband out of the room.

Steve stopped on the second floor. “Natasha? Where’s Buck? I didn’t think that maybe you guys don’t do gags . . .”

“Nope. Never done a gag on him before. But, we figured it out. Maybe next time, before you gag our little one, you should make the code _before_ gagging,” Natasha said gently.

“Normally I would,” Steve actually whimpered, distressed he’d put Bucky in a bad situation. TJ, Clint, and Natasha could see how upset Steve was at the mistake. It was no wonder he never went very far with TJ.

“Steve,” Natasha walked forward, placing a hand on his shoulder, “you’re learning. It’s okay. This was a good lesson for you and Bucky.”

“He hates me for gagging him?” Steve asked softly.

“He did call you a _fucker_ a few times, but he wanted to carry out his punishment, which I can’t end. You, as the dom that started it, has to end it,” Natasha smirked, showing Steve just how well-versed in the sub-dom etiquette she was. Even though things between her and Bucky had never gone past soft bondage, Natasha seemed to know a lot about the more intense side of the kink.

“Yeah, I know that part,” Steve ran a hand through his hair. “I was thinking about ten minutes since this is new?”

“Good idea,” Natasha nodded her approval.

Drawing a breath, Steve asked, “where is he? I should stop this time early so we can get our safewords in order. I should have thought about it. Just because I know, doesn’t mean he would.”

Bucky walked out of the bathroom and gave Steve a wide-eyed look, as if the sass had left him. He’d heard every word and felt vindicated and a little bad for Steve and TJ. Both of them were a bit new, and Steve being so inexperienced could be dangerous.

At seeing Bucky, Steve took a deep breath and fixed a frown on his face. His voice wasn’t so dominant when he asked, “you gonna keep your mouth shut?”

Bucky shook his head.

Incredulity crossed Steve’s face and he walked over to remove the gag. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Can’t talk to my own dom if I keep my mouth shut, Steve,” Bucky replied, keeping his voice calm and normal, no sass.

TJ actually snickered from the doorway.

Steve chuckled. “Okay, Buck, I get it. I’m sorry I didn’t think to clarify safety first. Wanna do that now.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky said, “Lesson eight, punk, always discuss safety, even if the scene is supposed to be a surprise. Safety before anything else. Got it?”

TJ watched his twin and his husband; Bucky had just added a lesson to Steve’s list. Bucky, for supposedly being pretty vanilla in his sexlife until recently, seemed to know a lot.

Nodding, Steve said, “that’s a very good lesson for me, thank you, Bucky. Safety first.” He looked at TJ. “That’s lesson eight, pet. Fortunately, I learned it before things got out of hand. Safety first.”

“Safety first,” TJ echoed with a nod.

Clint softly added, “do you guys have a list of rules or safe outs yet? I could help you . . . I’ve been subbing and doming since I was a teenager.”

“Not yet,” Steve sounded actually embarrassed. “We really go on memory here . . .”

“Things sound like they’re getting a bit too intense for mere memory,” Clint commented neutrally.

Bucky nodded. “I am so gonna write up our list of rules and you should write up your lesson list, Steve. Post it in our dungeon. We'll get Dougie and Anne to do it, and Nat and Clint, too. That way everyone’s clear on each other’s stuff. Playgroups switch partners, so it’s important to know. Now, will you please get me out of this get up, Steve?” Bucky batted his eyelashes and asked, sugary sweet.

Steve nodded and released Bucky from the restraints, including the gag still sitting loosely around his neck. “Uh, what did you and Natasha come up with for safety, Buck? So me and TJ can figure ours out?”

“Might not work for you guys, but three short whimpers means red _and_ safeword if I’m gagged with my hands unable to make snaps. Snaps otherwise. And two is yellow, one is green. But I’ve heard TJ. He whimpers a lot. Maybe have to find a different code for him or don’t fill his hands.” Bucky grinned at his twin, still buck naked but not as erect.

As if on cue, TJ whimpered as he took in the sight of his brother. He didn’t want to wait until date night or playtime. He wanted his twin.

Glancing at TJ to ask his opinion, Steve let out a small groan, but it sounded more amused than anything. “TJ! Keep your mind on the discussion and not Bucky’s balls! This is safety, remember?”

“Not my fault you have him naked!” TJ said, eyes not leaving his brother’s form.

Bucky groaned softly, his member filling once more.

“And a beautiful sight it is,” Clint murmured, smiling.

Steve shook his head. “C’mon, pet. He’s a bad influence. Get your ass upstairs, TJ.” Steve’s voice still sounded amused but it was a solid order.

“B - - but,” TJ still looked at Bucky, eyes falling to look at his twin’s filling member.

“If you don’t get upstairs so we can finish this conversation, I will _not_ let Bucky drive you up the ass for dinner!” Steve crossed his arms.

Huffing, grumbling about unfairness and _mean sirs_ , TJ turned and walk back upstairs.

Steve rolled his eyes, behind TJ’s back, towards the other three. In a loud bark, he said, “one more grumble and you get locked in without _any_ toys tonight!” He followed his lover upstairs, enjoying TJ’s proud stance and lovely ass. Once inside their private suite, Steve walked directly to the bathroom to clean up the gag and restraints from Bucky’s body fluids, mainly drool and sweat.

“Can we _please_ just get this conversation over with so we can sooner play?” TJ whined as he plopped down on the edge of the mattress.

From the bathroom, as if he knew TJ’s every more, Steve demanded, “did I tell you to sit down? You’ve become very bad since you got your own house, TJ!”

“Gonna come in and make me stand, sir?” TJ grumbled.

“Nope, gonna deprive you of another toy. I see what you’re up to. You’re trying to sass me so I’ll give you a gag to play with. That’s not how this works.” Steve walked in, making sure the toys were dry as he walked.

Huffing again, TJ laid down on the mattress.

“Oh, so you _don’t_ want to talk safety? Fine, that’s up to you, my bad little boy, but that means you won’t get Bucky cock for dinner unless you can behave.” Steve started looking through the boxes. “Now, safewords while gagged or bound. I think you need to have a different code than Bucky. You have such a pretty whimper I might not realize you need help. So, if you’re . . .”

“I can kick _you_ ,” TJ grumbled.

Steve widened his eyes in apparent shock and asked softly, “TJ, are you really mad at me?”

Looking at Steve, TJ shook his head, “no! I’m needy!” TJ pouted.

“Then, could you please be TJ and not pretend to be Bucky?” Steve asked, sitting down and stroking TJ through his jeans.

Whimpering, TJ nodded, “I - - I wasn’t kidding about the kicking . . .” his hips canted into Steve’s palm.

“So, if you are gagged and wanna safeword you’re gonna kick me? How’s that work if you’re tied down, TJ?” Steve stroked again.

Huffing, TJ moaned softly, “I don’t know . . . I could blink? Snap? Knock?”

“Blindfold prevents blinking. Snapping is good, so is knocking. Why don’t we make a deal, TJ?” Steve leaned over and nipped his husband’s neck lightly, knowing he had his lover’s attention despite the stroking. “I won’t make it so that you can’t communicate with hands, unless I leave your feet free. So, no carrying boxes if gagged, okay, unless you can free your hands in a hurry?”

Groaning, TJ nodded, “okay.”

“Promise, TJ?” Steve lifted his hand. “Lesson eight is a real lesson now.”

“It’s a good lesson,” TJ nodded.

Smiling down at his husband, Steve purred, “Oh, I have a feeling we’re gonna need at least a half hour safety talk tonight once the dungeon is set up . . .”

“A _half hour_ ,” TJ whined, throwing his head back and groaning.

“Yeah,” Steve laughed and shoved the gag in TJ’s pretty mouth. “So many new toys.” He slipped the binding behind his husband’s neck and fastened it. “Check in, snaps. One, green, two, yellow, three, red and remove.”

Eyes wide, TJ whimpered and snapped once.

“You should know, my bad little boy, that Captain doesn’t appreciate sass. And, I think unlike your whimp of a brother, _you_ need more than ten minutes. Get up, let’s go finish moving things. You need to use your hands, you can put things down.” Steve got up and walked from the bedroom.

TJ moaned and scurried after his husband, the ball gag already beginning to make him drool.

Downstairs, back in the living room, Steve put the restraint in the box and picked the whole thing up. He headed for the basement door, calling, “Oh, Natasha, Bucky taught TJ some bad habits. I’ve had to gag him because he’s getting sassy.” He made it sound like he was telling her Phil needed a new doggie brush or something.

“Hear that, doll? You’re being a bad influence on your big brother, getting him in all sorts of trouble,” Natasha said to her husband.

Bucky looked over at TJ then back at his wife and shrugged. “Maybe his dom doesn’t have the balls to control him.” Bucky had stayed nude as he continued to work, enjoying the free feeling and the teasing of all four other house members.

Softly, Clint asked, “if I sass, I get a gag, Tasha?”

Laughing softly, Natasha patted Clint’s cheek lovingly, “if I believe you deserve it, love.”

TJ whimpered around the gag, looking at his brother with wide eyes.

Steve turned at the basement door and frowned. “TJ? Stop touching yourself!”

Blinking, TJ hadn’t even realized he’d started palming himself through his jeans. With another whimper, the brunet kept his hand on his crotch, hips canting slightly.

Shaking his head, Steve put the box down and pulled out two different objects “You have your plug in?” He growled, stalking towards his smaller husband.

Keening, more drool running down his chin from the gag, TJ nodded, watching his husband with lust blown eyes.

Steve nodded. “Strip and show me, you bad boy. You are so gonna pay for letting your baby brother teach you to misbehave.” He stepped right up into TJ’s space. “You’re the big brother. You should be an example for such a bad boy.”

TJ quickly began to strip off his clothes, eyes flickering to watch his twin.

Clint let out another soft groan at the sight of the slender TJ as well as the sturdier Bucky nude. He still didn’t get directly involved in the lessons, but he certainly felt hungry enough to jump in if the time felt right. But Clint respected Natasha’s warning so didn’t push himself forward. It was, after all, the family’s first night in their own home.

Bucky smiled wickedly and rocked his hips, though didn’t cover his semi-erection. The motion caused him to bounce a bit.

“Enough of that,” Natasha smacked Bucky’s ass once.

He looked surprised and glanced at his wife. “But he’s so damn pretty and he wants me so bad!”

“Well, he’s going to have to wait,” Natasha said simply.

“But I want him!” Bucky protested, grabbing himself and giving a couple of strokes.

TJ moaned as he managed to get his underwear down his long legs; he continued to watch his twin, completely enticed.

Steve slapped TJ’s ass, causing a redness to well up. “Eyes on me!” he ordered. In his hands were a chain, wrists restraints, and the same chastity belt Bucky had used on TJ on their first date.

Eyes widening, TJ looked at Steve. He knew how big that plug was, how much it filled him and teased him. He let out a tiny whimper, a shiver running through his body.

“So, you _have_ played with this one? Naughty boy, not asking permission to be filled so full! Well, you _need_ it, I’m gonna give it to you. Bend over and grab your ankles, pet.” Steve began lubing the plug.

Whimpering again, TJ breathed deeply through his nose and bent over, fingers wrapping around his ankles.

As Steve worked the regular anal plug from TJ’s ass, Bucky’s mouth dropped open and he stroked himself more. Steve placed the tip of the larger plug against his husband’s opening and said, “pick up one hand and check in.”

A single loud snap filled the space with TJ’s muffled moan. He immediately returned his hand to his ankle after checking in, his legs were completely straight.

Nodding, Steve growled, “well at least you can obey _some_ easy commands.” He circled TJ’s fluttering hole twice then slid the plug in using one long sure thrust, bottoming out before he paused to let TJ adjust. “Check in again.” he ordered.

TJ snapped once again.

Bucky groaned again, his fingers working a bit faster as he watched his brother get filled. Clint finally let himself begin stroking his own cock through his sweatpants, thoroughly enjoying the sight of TJ’s punishment.

Nodding, Steve ordered, “let go your ankles and straighten up, then check in. Wanna make sure you _feel_ it.” He watched his lover carefully; the plug was by far the largest in the collection after all.

Bucky had been so distracted with TJ and Steve, that he hadn’t even seen Natasha slip away or come back. TJ’s loud snap came with a firm slap to Bucky’s fingers on his cock. Surprised, he yelped and let go, the sting and tug causing his member to throb in desire.

Clint sighed and stopped his own actions as if he, too, had been smacked.

Natasha stepped in front of her husband, partially blocking his view of his twin. She quickly, using his distraction to her advantage, strapped on the same restraint system Steve had used earlier on Bucky. She held up something that looked like a black leather thong and unbuckled the straps on the hips to swiftly put it on her husband. She guided his thick erection through a hole in the crotch and then strapped his cock up against the leather with three penile straps.

Bucky groaned at the feel of the suede lined leather. He throbbed in need. “This is nice . . .” he growled happily, but stopped, surprised, as he realized she had just trapped his erection against his pelvis, the head near but not actually brushing his abdomen. And with his arms bound in his bent position - - while his damaged arm felt comfortable in the familiar position, he couldn’t actually reach his cock. He was entirely dependant on someone else getting him off. Bucky looked at Natasha and said, “what the hell?”

Natasha quirked a brow and then pressed a gag, similar to the one Bucky had used earlier, in between her husband’s plush lips. “You were saying?” She purred, dragging her nail over the underside of his cock. His member pulsed in answer.

Grinning as Natasha got Bucky in hand, and gag, Steve turned back to finish strapping the chastity cage in place on his husband. He verified the leather mesh fit over TJ’s fortunately not so erect member and tightened the straps. He then fastened leather wrist restraint cuffs around TJ’s slender wrists, tightly, and hooked them to a chain, behind him. Steve ended by hooking the chain to TJ’s training collar, leaving the lining in to signal that this promised to be long term if necessary. “Check in,” he growled.

Panting, making more drool run from the corners of his mouth, TJ snapped his fingers once. The plug stretched him so wide; he felt so full but his cock couldn’t react to it without some major discomfort.

Steve nodded. “Looks like our matched set need matching lessons in proper behavior, Natasha,” he said on a smirk.

“Couldn’t agree more,” Nat smiled, running her nails over Bucky’s known sensitive spots across his body.

Bucky lived up to his nickname and bucked his hips, letting out a moaning growl. HIs eyes latched onto his wife’s; she had his full attention at that moment. Lifting his chin, he made a low grunting noise and rocked his hips, fingers clutching and releasing helplessly.

Raising one brow, Natasha looked at her husband impassively.

Steve chuckled. “So, let’s let them follow us down while we start on the dungeon, Natasha? They can’t carry anything, but they can at least stay in sight so there’s no frottage with one another.” Steve hefted the box of toys once more and headed down the steps. “TJ, behind me. If you start to trip I want you to yell as loud as you can and fall on me. But not antics, just walk.”

TJ keened and followed, it was a bit awkward walking with his hands bound behind him and the very large plug stretching him.

“Come, dear,” Natasha ordered as she headed towards the basement door.

Bucky let out an exasperated growl and followed, careful not to trip. He didn’t want to get hurt or land on Natasha and accidentally hurt her. Bucky no more than a glanced at Clint, who sighed and went back to work, carrying things to wherever they were destined, eager to watch at least, if that was all that was permitted at the moment. He started to help Steve and Natasha begin building their dungeon equipment.


	21. If It’s Not One Thing . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: Bondage, gags, interrupted punishments, blackmail and politics, discussion of past trauma and negative self-images, group play, vaginal as well as anal and penile play, discussions of safety and limits**

Several hours passed and the bound twins had only been un-gagged so they could be hand fed for lunch then, after teeth brushing, they’d been gagged once more. Now it was closer to dinner and getting dark outside. Once an hour, Steve had unbound TJ for five minutes of massage on his arms then rebound him again. He made no moves for TJ’s crotch or ass, leaving the anal plug to torment the man continually over the hours. He’d noted that Nat did the same thing, massaging Bucky’s arms once an hour before rebinding him.

By the evening hours, TJ was completely flushed and desperately needy, making small whimpering, pleading noises. His cock, despite his best efforts, had filled as much as the small cage would allow and he was aching, hurting deep for release.

Glancing over at TJ as he got the last bolt set in the final bondage furniture piece, Steve frowned. He said, “Check in, TJ.”

TJ snapped once and then a second time a few moments later.

Nodding, Steve walked over and touched the waistband of the belt. “This one?” he asked.

Crying out as much as the gag would allow, TJ nodded and thrust his hips slightly.

Immediately, Steve unfastened the sliding lock on the side and the plug loop. He eased the main piece of the device off his lover, leaving the plug in place. “That what you need?” he asked, and carefully massaged TJ’s cramped, swollen, cock. He eased it, encouraging it to fill and swell properly.

Mewling, chest heaving, TJ pressed into Steve’s hand, grinding into it as if chasing the release he desperately needed.

Steve dropped to his knees and gently eased TJ into his mouth, holding him there, not swallowing or sucking, just easing him with warmth and moisture. He stroked TJ’s hips gently, easing the strap marks left behind.

It only took a few minutes, TJ felt so needy, so desperate, that he came with a muffled shout, down Steve’s throat.

Steve swallowed the load and began tenderly cleaning his husband’s abused member, making sure to pay close attention to the head and slit. Finally, smiling gently as he eased his hand over TJ’s member, he said, “check in now.”

TJ snapped once.

Nodding, Steve stood up. “So, everything else is good? Even the plug?” He checked again, just to be sure.

TJ snapped once again.

“Good boy. So, learning to behave again. Maybe you’ll convince me you’re a good boy by the end of the night. I think it’s dinner time. But,” Steve frowned and shook his head. “Can’t have that plug moving or the lube leaking out. Gotta take care of that.” He looked thoughtful, eyes sliding over to see Bucky, his own eyes locked on TJ’s cock, making low moans.

TJ mewled and looked at Bucky; he still ached to be filled by his brother, and this lesson only intensified that need.

“Okay, I got it,” Steve walked over to the neatly stored toys, pulling open a drawer marked _Chastity Devices_. He pulled out a leather anal plug harness that would encircle the balls and cock but leave it free to grow or shrink as needed. Slipping the harness carefully on TJ, he fastened it to the anal plug loop and locked things in place. “Check in, pet.” Steve ordered happily.

With a moan, TJ snapped once.

“Good boy. Learning well. Do you need this lesson, TJ?” Steve asked, knowing what Bucky had learned more recently: don’t tell TJ what he needs, it might cause flash back. Set it in a question instead.

Moaning, mewling, TJ nodded.

“Natasha, you and your boys ready to go up and get dinner? I was thinking ordering pizza?” Steve deliberately left the idea in the air that TJ or Bucky might be seen by the pizza deliverer if in the wrong room.

“Pizza sounds lovely, doesn’t it, dear?” Natasha asked.

Bucky looked surprised and then moaned low. He snapped once. Clint nodded and grinned, but didn’t say a word. Steve smiled. “Pizza it is. TJ will eat what I tell him to eat.” He gently placed a hand on TJ’s ass and pushed a bit towards the stairs. “You first so if you fall, you can land on me.”

TJ walked up the stairs on slightly shaky legs. This was by far the longest TJ had ever been bound and denied release. He was tired.

Upstairs, Steve patted one of the padded stools and said, “why don’t you sit down and take a load off, baby. I’ll call the pizzeria.” He started dialing. Before TJ or the others could move, though, a loud pounding came on the door. Steve looked surprised and walked over to the hall, not visible to the kitchen. He opened the door. “Oh! Shit, uh . . .”

Elaine Barrish pushed right past him and into the house, brandishing a folder and looking livid. “Where is he!”

“Oh, uh . . .” Steve looked towards the kitchn. “Natasha! TJ’s Mom is here!”

“Shit,” Natasha grabbed both the twins and tried to hurry them into the bathroom nearest the kitchen. Clint stepped backwards into the doorway of the dungeon, out of sight of the presidential candidate.

Elaine froze as she took in the sight of TJ and Bucky, bound, gagged, and members exposed, Bucky’s still painfully erect in his leather restraint. “What the hell!”

Natasha made quick work of unbinding both Bucky and TJ; after they were free she hurried over and grabbed TJ’s clothes. She handed them to TJ, and rushed up the stairs to retrieve something for Bucky. She came back a few moments later with a pair of sweatpants.

Bucky whimpered and massaged his left arm first, using the damaged hand to try to hide his weeping member. He’d been erect so long, it wasn’t wilting normally. He needed release of a more immediate nature.

Natasha, seeing her husband’s distress, ushered him into the bathroom, letting TJ and Steve deal with Elaine for the moment. TJ finished pulling on his pants and looked at his adopted mother with wide, horrified eyes.

Steve walked in and stepped in front of Elaine. “This is a private home, ma’am. You weren't invited in!”

“I don’t need an invitation. I see what you’re doing to my son! Tommy, we’re getting you out of here!” Elaine reached past Steve to grab TJ’s arm, just as Steve screamed, “no! Don’t touch him!”

Steve pushed Elaine away and began massaging TJ’s arm carefully, shooting her a glare. “Damnit, Elaine! You can’t just manhandle someone who’s been bound! You’ll hurt him!”

TJ whimpered and buried his face into Steve’s chest.

“You can’t just bind someone! Have you no decency? Bud, maybe he’ll listen to a man. He’s far too selfish to listen to _me_!” Elaine spoke to her ex-husband, still on the front steps. She slammed the folder on the counter top with a glare for Steve.

“Sugar, calm down,” Bud said walking in, trying to get Elaine calm enough so they could explain the real reason why they’d just barged in. “TJ is married to him. We can’t just take him away.”

“And I’ll get it annulled for abuse!” Elaine seethed. “Bud, he’s hurting! Tommy’s crying, for God’s sake!” She moved to go to her son.

“No!” TJ shouted, tears running down his cheeks, “no! You aren’t taking me away! I won’t let you!”

Steve continued to carefully massage TJ, as if the conversation wasn’t the most alarming in the world. “Calm down, TJ, my good boy. Can you sit?” The only thing Natasha hadn’t interfered with was that plug, it would have been too humiliating, Steve knew. “Or do you want to go to the bathroom first? You haven’t gone for a while. Go to the bathroom, babydoll.”

Whimpering, TJ nodded and hurried off to the nearest bathroom, which happened to be the one Bucky and Nat had gone in moments before. As the door closed behind TJ, Bucky looked over, buried balls deep in his soon-to-be ex-wife, and held out a hand to his brother. “Nat?” he whispered. “Can we arrange for me to help him?”

“Yes,” Natasha nodded.

Slipping from her moist heat, Bucky kissed her lovingly. “Thanks, doll. Don’t leave? Need you to make sure we’re okay? If this don’t go down, I see ER in the future,” he moaned. Bucky turned, thankful for such an understanding friend and lover, and caressed TJ’s butt, pushing the pants down. He pushed his twin onto all fours on the rug and pulled the plug out without much ceremony, replacing it with his own shaft in a stuttering thrust.

TJ whimpered and keened as his brother filled him; he was still flaccid but that didn’t make the feeling of Bucky inside him any less incredible.

Softly, Bucky kissed TJ’s neck and whispered, “try to be quiet, brother mine. I’ll be done soon I think. Thank you for your beautiful body.” Bucky began stroking deeply, at a rapid pace, but not hard. He gripped TJ’s hips as he stroked in and out, his needy erection dragging over TJ’s prostate every few strokes. He could feel the rapid build up in his balls, despite the genuine pain in his cock, and moaned softly. “Yeah, real close, big brother . . .”

“Want you to fill me, Buck,” TJ moaned low, “come on, baby brother . . . fill me so full.”

Nodding, Bucky looked over at Nat and mouthed, “Thank you, Natasha,” before he dropped his face in between TJ’s shoulder blades and began kissing. Bucky growled, turning into a moan buried in his twin’s flesh as he came, hard and painfully. Bucky shook his head, face pressed to TJ’s back as he grunted and whimpered at the feeling of pain-laced-pleasure dragging over him.

“Good, you’re so good,” TJ murmured; despite Bucky having stroked his prostate several times, TJ’s member had only just begun to twitch and respond to the stimulation.

Bucky finally pulled off and sighed deeply. “Oh, brother mine, please tell me you aren’t gonna get that kind of embarrassment. We gotta face Aunt Elaine on the warpath. What the hell is she here for, anyway?”

“Don’t know,” TJ answered, taking the wash cloth Natasha handed him and carefully cleaning himself enough so he could pull back on his pants. He seemed calmer, in more control of himself.

Bucky leaned over and captured TJ’s lips in a tender kiss. “I love you, TJ.” He reached for the cloth his wife offered and gave her a relieved smile as he carefully washed his now flaccid member. “Think Steve’s holding his own out there?”

“Momma is livid about _something_ ,” TJ sighed, easing his pants up over his ass. He looked over at his twin, pale eyes worried. He knew that Elaine didn't like Steve, but for her to be _that_ upset . . . TJ knew something very bad must've happened.

Natasha handed her husband the pair of sweatpants she'd retrieved. “Well, I suppose we should find out,” she said after taking a few deep breaths, looking composed as if she hadn't just been having desperate sex with Bucky only minutes before.

After pulling on the pants, Bucky reached over to grab Natasha’s waist and pull her in for a kiss. “Gonna have to finish this later. Was just getting good.” He smiled. “You wanting some attention, doll?” he growled low, reaching for the shirt to pull on. “I think Clint’s still nosing around, unless Aunt Elaine scared him outta here.”

Smiling softly, Natasha returned the kiss and traced her nails along Bucky’s hipbones, “ _definitely_ going to pick things up later with Clint, think he was feeling a bit left out,” she purred.

Chuckling, Bucky nodded. “We’ll have to remember to include him in the future.” He led the others from the bathroom, noting that by then Uncle Bud, Nana, Doug, and Anne had also shown. They’d been invaded by the entire DC clan, and Steve had seated them and given them refreshments, but he stood with his arms crossed and mouth shut, glaring at Elaine.

TJ stayed close to his twin, looking at his adoptive mother with worried, and even somewhat scared, eyes. Would she really take him from his home, his husband?

Nana patted the seat next to her and smiled at her wayward grandson. “Come sit, TJ, you look like you’re going to pass out. I’d offer you a drink, but we’ve got nothing stronger than water apparently.” She held up her glass to him.

For once, TJ didn’t listen to his Nana; he stayed close to Bucky, watching the group apprehensively, like an animal in a cage.

Elaine uncrossed her arms. “Fine, now everyone’s here. So, you can tell me what the hell you’ve done to my son and nephew!”

Steve ran his hand through his hair rather than his apprehensive habit of rubbing his neck. His eyes were narrowed and he said, “I thought we’d covered this after the honeymoon. I don’t know why you’re off on this same tangent, Elaine.”

She tossed the folder to the coffee table; it ricocheted off several smaller boxes stacked there and slid to the floor, spilling its contents.

TJ’s eyes widened and he paled, actually looking on the verge of passing out. There, spilled all over the floor for everyone to see, were multiple pictures of him and Bucky together at the motel, in various compromising positions. “Wha . . . where . . . were you _following_ us?” TJ stammered out.

Elaine looked incredulous. “My God, no! Those were graciously sent to me by _Alexander Pierce_!”

TJ walked over and picked out one of the pictures, it was an image of Bucky and him kissing passionately; there was no doubt that they were the people in the photographs. TJ looked up at Bucky. Alexander Pierce had followed them to the motel and gotten intimate pictures.

Stopping and collecting the rest of the pictures, Bucky began going through the photos. “Pierce is a pig. That was a private motel room. We can press charges for invasion of privacy.”

Mouth dropping open in shock, Elaine stiffened. “Is that your answer? My God, James! You and your brother were _having sex_! That’s unnatural, obscene, and very illegal! Pick one, but TJ is not staying in this situation!”

TJ hugged himself and flinched at each and every negative word about his relationship with Bucky. “Momma . . .” TJ started but flinched again as Elanie cut him off.

“No, Tommy! Even if you aren’t ashamed and disgusted by such unnatural depravity, do you know what this’ll do to your case? You’re gonna look like such a whore you’ll even do your brother!” Elaine shook her head.

Steve immediately growled, snarling, “keep a decent tongue in your head or you leave, Elaine! How dare you compare a _rape_ to TJ’s private relationship with his brother!”

TJ looked physically pained, like his mother had figuratively just punched him in the gut. He hung his head and gripped his biceps tightly, crumpling up the photograph in one of his hands. All he could think about was the conversation he'd had with Clint earlier that day, how his past might be what lets Brock go free. What if he _did_ deserve what Brock had done to him? He was _sick_.

Elaine whirled on Steve and rose, advancing on him quickly. “And _you_! My God, you led him down this path, you murderous pervert! Tommy has been my boy to protect and guide since his damn mother killed herself and left him, starving and messy and crying, for almost three days! It’s no wonder he’ll let anyone touch him with neglect like that! No matter what I’ve done, he continues to push me away and go for the unhealthy relationships, the abuse!”

Bucky slid his arms around TJ from behind and cuddled. George had never told him how Winifred had died, but having never known his natural mother, Bucky found he was more worried about TJ’s reactions then the revealed suicide.

TJ turned in his brother’s arms and buried his face in Bucky’s chest and sobbed. His hands clutched desperately at his twin’s back, as if trying to bring them even closer together. “Don’t let her take me away . . .” TJ cried out in a pained voice.

“TJ, you’re nearly thirty-one years old,” Bucky stroked his twin’s hair. “She can’t legally take you anywhere. Especially since our love is _not_ illegal. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“Nothing wrong?” Elaine shook her head and flung her hand towards the pictures still in Bucky’s right hand. “That’s _incest_ , James! Hello? Incest is _illegal_!”

“Not in New Jersey,” Doug offered quietly, looking at his mother with nervous eyes.

“What?” Elaine blinked and turned to look at her natural son, the comment from such an unexpected source silencing her for the moment.

“As long as they are both over eighteen and not married to one another, it’s not illegal, Mom,” Doug explained in that same soft tone.

“Wait,” She narrowed her eyes. “You _knew_ about this?”

“Yes,” Doug nodded, meeting his mother’s eyes, “I was the one that helped find a safe house in a state they could love each other.”

“Dougie! It’s _incest_!” She shook her head.

“Yes, it is. But,” Doug looked at the twins and then back at his mother, “they are happy. TJ is _happy_. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow . . . but - - you can’t take away his happiness. He’s finally found it with Steve and Bucky. I won’t let you take it from him.”

Steve offered, calmly, “the main problem here is not letting those photos get out and cast doubt on TJ’s very real case. What’s Pierce asking?”

“He wants Elaine to drop out of the race and back him,” Bud supplied on a sigh, “vicious snake, that man.”

Bucky snorted in an attempt to hold back a laugh. He shook his head, “he’s dreaming. Aunt Elaine is a Democrat. He’s a Republican. She’ll never support or back him!”

Steve nodded and held his arms open. “TJ?” he asked.

TJ lifted miserable, tear-washed eyes; he let go of Bucky and hurried over to Steve, latching onto his husband like his life depended on it. “I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry . . . we - - the blinds were - - closed . . . I’m sorry . . .” TJ apologized on near hysterics.

Steve kissed TJ’s protests silent, smiling gently. “Don’t be sorry, baby. Bucky’s right. Whoever filmed you was totally illegal, and you guys were perfectly legal. So, we’ve got to find a way to challenge Pierce and make him pull back. Something concerning the threat against him if he releases these because of the legality . . . but we have to have something to counter public opinion so that the damage is not done by any release. Make it not worth the release of the photos.” Steve looked to Bud.

“That man has more dirty secrets than a horse's ass has flies,” Bud supplied on a smile, “we got him on invasion of privacy because the dumbass used his personal email to send the pictures to Elaine. I have a man on nailing the bastard to the original leaks of TJ’s attacks, as well as some . . . unfavorable campaigning techniques.”

Anne sat forward, “Oh! Have we got anything, even one example, of him doctoring evidence? We can convince him that we’ll get the public to believe he’d doctored the twincest photos, too.”

“Twincest?” Bucky asked, looking a bit surprised.

Nodding, Anne said, “it’s a thing. It’s a big erotica genre, in fact.”

“Not important, guys. Bud? Doug? Any info on Pierce tampering or faking something?” Steve asked, cuddling his beloved husband close and stroking his hair as TJ shuddered and wept.

Bud looked at Elaine, “wasn’t Pierce the one that used tampered photographs to bring down that Senator he was running against a few years ago? Lost him the election.”

Elaine sighed, “yes, his opponent had to basically hide in shame until they could prove that Pierce had someone doctor the photographs. Something about claims of beastiality.” Her eyes widened. “Wait, we can use that to tell Pierce that if he releases these photos, we’ll bring up the faked beastiality photos, and he’ll be ruined before anyone can investigate . . . and without claiming those photos of . . .” she glared at Bucky then Steve, “ _them_ are real, we can let him know that New Jersey, where that motel happens to be, has no law against consenting adults engaging in incestuous relations.” Once Elaine set her mind on a course of action, she plowed ahead, despite her personal feelings.

TJ whimpered and hugged Steve tighter, sobs dying off into hiccupping gasps of air. He still kept his face buried into his husband’s chest, afraid to look at his mother and see her disgust and disappointment.

Nana laughed, “we’ve got that bastard by the balls.” She grinned and sipped her water, making a face at the innocuous substance. “I did wonder why you wanted to move to New Jersey, TJ, but this house is lovely!”

Peeking over at his Nana, TJ mumbled a soft, “thanks.”

She rolled her eyes and barked out, “oh stop your whining, TJ, Be proud of who you are. Goodnes knows on the circuit I saw all kinds of love. At least you know he won’t hurt you, and you found a way to keep it legal. That’s more than some people do.” She drank again, not condemning the incest.

TJ blinked and pulled slightly out of Steve’s arms. He wiped at his eyes, sniffling.

Steve smiled at his husband and whispered, “told you you weren’t weird, babydoll.”

Bud looked at his adoptive son and then at his nephew. “Now, I’m not saying I approve of . . .” he waved a beefy finger between the two twins, “whatever you two have going on. However,” he looked at Elaine and then back at his son, “we’ve spent too much time putting you below our career goals. TJ,” Bud purposely echoed the words that Elaine had said at TJ’s hospital bedside over two years ago, “as long as you’re safe, happy and loved . . . I’m not going to try and persuade you different.”

Elaine frowned severely. She narrowed her eyes at Steve more than anyone. Finally, she said, “I don’t approve. I can’t even see how you’d fall into this kind of behavior without _encouragement_ , but I won’t stop you.” Holding up her hand, she said forcefully, “ _safe_ , TJ, and legal. Try to keep it out of the public eyes, for goodness sake! At least until we’ve won your damn trial!” Shaking her head, she added, “at least neither of you will get the other _pregnant_.”

TJ smiled softly, knowing that was the closest to an acceptance that he was going to get from his adoptive mother.

“Now, since we have that worked out,” Elaine shifted gears as if they were at a political meeting instead of a family crisis intervention, “We expect all of you to come down for Thanksgiving. Yes,” she held a hand up again, “it’s a political function, but we would appreciate the show of support? We can do a private family dinner on Friday while all those fools are getting themselves mortally wounded for lousy deals.”

Steve smiled down at his husband. He kissed TJ’s neck. “Would you like to show me the political ropes on Thanksgiving?”

“Sure,” TJ agreed softly, knowing that denying his mother that request wouldn’t end well.

Cuddling TJ closer, Steve nodded. “We’d be delighted. And, we know the law. We’ll behave.”

“Oh, God, you better!” Elaine moaned.

Nana put her glass of water down. “Good, as much as I love you, TJ, I need a real drink before driving back to DC. Good bye, I love you, try not to piss off your mother too much.” Nana rose and hugged her grandson then gathered her stuff and headed for the door.

Bud took that as his exit cue, “well, I better cut the head off the snake. Don’t worry, son, Pierce won’t know what hit him,” he gave TJ a bear hug and then moved on to Bucky, “and _you_ , looking at TJ and Steve’s house, huh?”

“Well, we needed a legitimate excuse, didn’t we?” Bucky smiled. “We weren’t trying to flaunt it, after all.”

Laughing, Bud brought Bucky in for a hug, “for a man who hasn’t spent a day in DC, you sure do talk like a politician.”

“Well, I learned from the best, Uncle Bud . . . you taught me a lot.” Bucky hugged back. “Thanks for not giving up on us.”

Nodding, Bud gave Bucky’s left shoulder a firm squeeze, “never give up on family.” And with that, Bud left the room searching for Nana, who hadn’t had her license in nearly ten years.

Elaine walked over to TJ and sighed. “I can’t say I understand this . . . infatuation.”

Steve softly said, “you hit upon it earlier actually. People learn constraints in childhood. But TJ and Bucky were never together. Once they discovered each other, their natural love took a very mature turn.”

She glared at Steve. “ _You_ are still in the doghouse, Steven. I saw how they were trussed up and exposed.” She reached a hand to touch TJ’s shoulder. “We miss you, back home.”

“I miss all you guys, too. But . . .” TJ looked at Bucky and then up at Steve, “I’m happy here, Momma.”

“And you think you can make this . . . polyamory thing work do you?” Elaine sighed.

“I know I can. We all know what we want,” TJ smiled softly.

“Oh, Tommy, everyone so easily falls in love with you. I shouldn’t be surprised at all.” She gently tugged him from Steve’s arms and hugged him. “Remember, Thanksgiving and Black Friday are _our_ days.”

Nodding, TJ offered Elaine a smile, “we’ll be there.”

Steve murmured “with pearls on,” but just smiled at Elaine when she shot him a suspicious look. She hugged TJ again and whispered, “you have my number . . . for _anything_.” Elaine moved over to hug Bucky then left.

“Well,” Doug sighed and stood up, “that went . . . well.”

Anne leaned into her husband. “Better than I expected.” She smiled and put her hand on Doug’s chest, looking up at him. “And you were so good, telling Elaine the law like that. I think it helped to show we’re united on this with TJ.”

Smiling softly, Doug nodded and then rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m sorry we can’t stay . . .”

“If we leave now, we’ll have just enough sleep before a charity breakfast in the morning,” Anne explained.

TJ nodded and walked over to Doug, he hugged his adoptive brother tightly, “thank you, Doug.”

Doug smiled and hugged TJ back, “everything I said, I mean, TJ. I’m glad you found your happiness. Keep it.”

The two stepped apart and TJ hugged Anne, thanking her as well.

Anne hugged TJ. “Well, I’m very happy to be part of _your_ family, TJ. I’ve learned so much about myself. Don’t let anyone take that free spirit from you. We’ll see you in a couple of weeks.” She let go and gave hugs all around then tugged Doug from the house.

Steve sighed. “Dinner, guys. Decompression.” He walked over to the door, texting the pizzeria on his phone, surprised the entire encounter had only taken fifteen minutes. The pizza deliverer wouldn’t get there for another twenty or thirty, but he needed fresh air and to think. Steve walked onto the porch and leaned against the railing of the wrap-around deck.

“You okay?” Natasha’s voice came up from beside Steve a few minutes after he’d gone out.

He turned and smiled, nodding, buttocks firmly planted against the rail. “Yeah, just . . . my God, what TJ keeps having to go through. I know Elaine means well, but her constant jumping to interfere is whittling down every bit of courage we can get into him.”

Nodding, Natasha stepped up to the railing and looked up at the night sky, “we just have to keep building him up. He’s had thirty years of being beaten down. You’re helping, Steve, really. He is happier now than he was when Bucky and I picked him up from the airport.”

“Nat, honestly, do you think we’re off for loving like this? I mean, TJ and Bucky, ignore the incest, and them also loving us? And I love you three. Yeah, TJ most, but . . . I think my heart would break to lose any of you guys.” Steve chewed his bottom lip in a habit similar to TJ and Bucky. “And maybe someday Clint will find a place in here, too?”

“No one can choose who they love . . . we just happen to have more love to give than others,” Natasha shrugged softly, “I think it’s beautiful. We work well.”

“More love to give.” Steve smiled and nodded. “I like that.” The rest of her words sunk in and Steve straightened. “Oh, surprise for the family. Over pizza.” He grinned widely.

“You and your surprises,” Natasha smiled, pushing off the railing to turn back towards the house.

“Yeah, but I guarantee, this is one of my best,” Steve answered on a laugh.

As Natasha walked back into the home, she smiled at the twins, who were cuddled on the couch. They weren’t doing anything more than just holding each other.

TJ looked over as he heard Natasha and Steve’s approach, his eyes were red from the crying and his breath hitched as he settled down. He sniffled and then laid his head back down on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky slid his arm around TJ’s waist and hugged his twin close. He nuzzled TJ’s neck. Softly, he said, “I love you, big brother. You know that.”

Whimpering softly, TJ nodded, “I know,” he breathed out. He just wished for once that things would go right for him.

Stepping from the doorway to the basement dungeon, Clint breathed a deep sigh. “Is it safe to come out now?”

Natasha moved over to Clint and offered her hand to the blond, “it’s safe, love. Just the family now.”

Nodding, Clint looked over at the twins. “Pierce is really trying hard to discredit you, TJ. He must really think your mom’s a threat to his own campaign.”

TJ looked over at Clint, his pale eyes miserable, “he keeps coming after me . . . I - - I just hope Dad is able to take him down before Pierce is able to do anything else.”

Nodding, Clint turned as the doorbell rang. “I’ll get that guys. Sounds like dinner. I think we all need to sit down and rest.” He pulled out his wallet from his sweats pocket as he headed for the front door.

Letting out a soft sigh, TJ turned his head to nuzzle at Bucky’s neck, “I - - I’m sorry I got you mixed into all this, Buck.”

“I’m not,” Bucky said firmly. He stroked one hand down his brother’s spine and offered a small smile. “I wouldn’t change our relationship for all the world, brother mine.”

“But,” TJ met his brother’s equally pale eyes, “everything is just one problem after another . . . and with the trial coming up . . .” he bit his lip, cutting himself off. “Things are only gonna get worse . . .”

Hugging TJ tightly, Bucky gave him a long, lingering kiss. When he pulled back, he grinned. “And I plan to be here every second of it, Teej. With my _family_.”

“They’re gonna drag my name through the mud,” TJ muttered, lifting one hand to rub his eyes, “no one is gonna believe me, Buck . . .”

“We believe you, all of us. And we’ll make sure the others believe you, too.” Bucky lifted TJ’s chin, ignoring Clint as the stocky blond passed by with several large pizzas. “TJ, you were a victim. If no one sees that from the mountain of evidence we have, they’re stupid _and_ blind. How can they _not_ believe you? You’re telling the truth, Teej.”

“But,” TJ whimpered, eyes welling up with fresh tears, “y - - you don’t know everything . . . I - - I . . . they’re gonna use it against me. Brock’s gonna get out, Bucky . . . no one will believe me once they know.”

“Know what?” Bucky frowned and guided his twin towards the kitchen table. “What could anyone hold against you that would let Brock run free? He’s an asshat and a rapist. Even incest doesn’t set a rapist free.”

TJ swallowed thickly, letting Bucky lead him to the table. The smaller brunet looked at Clint and then at Steve before he ducked his head, avoiding everyone’s gaze. “I - - I’m not talking about _us_ , Bucky.”

Bucky brushed at TJ’s curls and offered an encouraging smile as he sat the other man into a chair. “Then tell me what you _are_ talking about, Teej, so I can counter your fears.” He sank down next to his twin.

TJ wrapped his arms around himself, his fingers clutching at his biceps tightly. “T - - there’s an ex-boyfriend . . . if they know about him . . . no one’s gonna believe I didn’t want what Brock did to me.”

Shaking his head, Bucky opened his mouth but shut it when Steve spoke softly from TJ’s other side. “TJ, pet? Look at me?”

TJ shook his head, keeping his head down, “I - - I’m sorry . . .” he whimpered.

Steve nodded and left the kitchen, his footsteps hurrying up to the second floor. No one spoke, even Clint looking at a loss, while the minutes ticked by. Suddenly, Steve came back into the kitchen and walked directly over to his husband once more. “TJ? Look at me, baby?” he requested again, voice gentle.

The brunet’s fingers tightened around his arms as his eyes flickered up to look at his husband, though he still kept his head bowed.

Steve lifted his hands and placed the twin collar around his husband’s neck. He smoothed it into place followed by TJ’s very first collar, the metal one with the heart shaped lock. Steve locked the collar and put the key around his own neck once more. “Now that you’re dressed, why don’t you tell Captain everything?”

Keeping his arms around himself, TJ swallowed; the weight of the collars soothed him a little. “I . . . I used to date a guy . . . um - - before Sean?” TJ bit at his lip, trying to keep his tears at bay. “He started out nice . . . like all of them started out nice. H - - He . . .” the smaller brunet lowered his eyes again before continuing, “after a few months . . . he said that he wanted to try something new . . . that our . . . sex life needed something . . . _more_.” TJ couldn’t bring himself to look at any of his family members, his entire body huddled in shame, “he said . . . he said I couldn’t keep his interest in bed, so he wanted to spice things up? He . . .” TJ closed his eyes, “he suggested that I start fighting back in bed so he could overpower me?”

Nodding, Steve slipped into the chair on one side of TJ and put a hand on his husband’s wrist. “And did you, TJ? Agree to let him do that?”

TJ still couldn’t look at his husband or twin; his voice quivering as he answered, “yes? The . . . the first time hurt a lot . . . but he . . . he said it had been the best sex he ever had. That . . . that I’d done good.” TJ gripped even tighter at his arms, digging into the flesh.

Steve stroked TJ’s wrist and nodded in encouragement. “And so, he convinced you to do it again and again, babydoll? So you would make him happy?”

“I let him do it for months,” TJ murmured, “until one night he hit me too hard and I think I blacked out. I came to and he was . . .”

“Using you anyway?” Steve asked softly.

TJ nodded, a tear falling down his cheek, “I went to Dougie’s afterwards but he wasn’t home . . . it was just Anne. She . . . she convinced me to break up with him . . . though I made her promise not to tell anyone . . . I didn’t even tell her everything, just that Liam had hit me.”

Steve nodded and leaned in to nuzzle TJ’s neck. “I love you, baby. You’re such a brave, good boy telling us what Liam put you through.”

“They’re gonna find out about him, Steve . . . find out I let someone play out his _rape fantasies_ on me,” TJ finally lifted his eyes to look at his husband, “no one will believe my word over Brock’s.”

Steve shook his head. “TJ, who would believe Brock Rumlow, a teacher accused of multiple rape attempts and at least one rape, over the successful interior designer wife of a very prominent political employee? You’ve got Anne as a witness that you told this Liam to back off. Just because you played rape with one man doesn’t mean you’ll play rape with every one, TJ. We just need to point that out at the trial if Brock’s lawyers are disgusting enough to try to bring that up.” Steve nuzzled TJ’s neck again. “And this proves just how important for all of us safe words and safe out is. We all have to respect each other’s limits, even if they might change daily, right?”

TJ nodded, chancing a glance at his brother who hadn’t said a word.

Bucky looked angry. He slipped his hand up and down TJ’s spine again. “That asshole even tries to pull this Liam jerk in on this, I’ll press rape charges on Liam, too!” he growled.

TJ shook his head, “I - - I don’t want to bring that out.”

“No charges unless TJ says,” Clint finally interrupted them, passing out plates of still hot pizza. “It’s his life, guys, even if we all want to protect him. Right now, we concentrate on Rumlow. There’s still time if TJ decides to press on Liam. But right now, TJ’s perfectly in his rights to just wanna concentrate on the man who blatantly hurt him and tried to hurt so many others.”

Natasha smiled softly at the blond man, respecting his words and protection over TJ. “He’s right, Bucky. That’s a decision TJ will have to make.”

Bucky frowned but slowly nodded, respecting his brother’s wishes even if he hated the idea of letting anyone go who’d hurt TJ. “Okay,” he reluctantly agreed. “We concentrate on Brock.” He leaned over and hugged TJ tightly. “I love you so much, brother mine!” Bucky buried his face in TJ’s shoulder.

Returning the hug, clutching desperately at his brother, TJ nuzzled at Bucky’s neck, “I love you, too, Bucky. You . . . you aren’t disgusted with me?”

Bucky’s head shot up and his pale steel colored eyes looked shocked. “For what? You mean about Liam? Why would I? You’re braver than I am giving somebody that kind of control and trusting he won’t abuse you. And you needed his love so much, you let him hurt you anyway. TJ, that’s nothing to be disgusted by. I just wish you’d never had to feel you needed to. I wish we’d gotten together years ago so you would have been safe all this time!” Bucky cupped TJ’s face. “I love you, big brother. Nothing you do, short of maybe screwing a dead body, will ever disgust me.”

Sniffling, keeping the rest of his tears at bay, TJ nodded and gave Bucky a small smile, “I wish we’d found each other years ago, too. All of us.”

Steve reached past the twins for one of the filled plates, breaking the tension a bit. “Okay, guys, we’ve got a lot of stuff for tonight. So, I suggest we eat up.”

**************

Sitting back, smiling, Steve wiped his hands on a napkin. Having finished off four slices of the meat-lover’s pizza, Steve watched the others either merely recovering from the feast or eating their own remaining slices. He still hadn’t told anyone his surprise, but the mood felt calmer, happier, more appropriate to a housewarming than it had an hour before.

Bucky stretched and said, “needed that rush of hot calories.”

TJ smiled; he’d finished his second slice only moments before, “yeah, that was good.” He felt better now that he’d told Bucky and Steve about Liam . . . now, there was nothing that his lovers didn’t know about his past.

Reaching over, Steve pulled TJ onto his lap in a warm cuddle. “So, ready for my newest surprise, guys?” He beamed at the others then kissed TJ’s shoulder, proud of TJ’s bravery in discussing his past lover. It wasn’t easy to discuss abuse, Steve knew. Somehow, he felt Clint may have had something to do with TJ’s revelations, even more than Elaine’s attack earlier; that cop seemed to always find a way to gentle TJ into things.

“Surprise?” TJ asked, turning his head to look at his husband.

“Yeah,” Steve kept kissing TJ, as if the small pressure and tasting of his husband’s flesh was far more important, driving other things from his mind. “Mmmm . . . so soft. So sweet.”

“Steve . . .” TJ whined, “what’s the surprise?”

“Surprise?” He lifted his mouth and smiled, eyes already a bit darker. “Oh, got a job.” He lowered his mouth once more.

“What?” TJ gasped, looking at Steve with wide eyes, “where? The Met?”

Nodding, Steve continued to feast on his husband’s delectable shoulder. “Yup. Damn, I want you baby.”

“Steve!” TJ beamed brightly, wiggling around so that he straddled the blond’s hips, “that’s amazing! The Met hired you! You’re gonna work with art!”

“Yup,” Steve confirmed. “They want me to start training on Monday.” He tried to get ahold of TJ’s shoulder again for more kisses.

“Wait . . . on Monday?” Bucky frowned softly. “So, tomorrow’s date night is the last for a couple of years?” He glanced at TJ.

Stiffening, TJ looked at Bucky, “wha . . . oh . . .”

“With the way we feel, TJ, I don’t think I should go traveling with you two. Might break laws.” Bucky sighed.

TJ felt blood rushing through his ears; he couldn’t imagine not seeing Bucky for _two years_.

“Hey, calm down you two,” Steve crooned. “Not happening. I’m not going overseas. ISIS has done away with _that_ plan. Too dangerous, so the Met’s teaching me locally. Date night is still every Friday.”

TJ’s grin returned and he looked at his brother, “see? Don’t hafta cancel date night!”

“Lesson number one?” Steve smiled, tone teasing, eyes on Bucky.

Bucky grinned. “Steve knows what’s best for TJ. Steve owns TJ,” Bucky shot back on a laugh.

“Damn right I do,” Steve nodded.

Humming, TJ turned back to look at Steve, “you got a job! At the Met!”

“Yes. I do. And they also want to see my art, since someone leaked a few pieces on the internet and let them know it was _my_ work.” Steve shot his eyes to Natasha with those words.

Natasha met Steve’s eyes innocently. “I regret nothing,” she took another bite of her pizza.

“Thanks,” Steve said happily. “For more than the chance to have my work looked at. Natasha, he told me that my artistic ability won me the job. They want to see if they can get me a private teacher to polish my work and expand my techniques. They actually said they look forward to having their own resident artist. I figure that means a finders fee and stuff so I’m going to also get a lawyer to look over contracts, make sure I’m not signing away anything by agreeing. I’ll be doing that tomorrow while TJ and Bucky have their date.” He gave permission for the twins to use the entire day if Natasha agreed, rather than just the night.

“I have a few things I want to get for my area,” Natasha smiled and looked at Clint. “And Clint and I were gonna go out.”

Bucky frowned softly and said, “guys, when we have company, everything’s gonna need to change. I want the dungeon locked from prying eyes, only we can get in. We make sure to tone down in front of the guests. Not hiding our love or ways, but nothing graphic?” He grabbed his brother’s hand, lacing their fingers.

Steve nodded. “That’s more than reasonable. We want nobody to think we’re weird, right? We’ll need to sit down and plan how to guest proof our lifestyle without giving it up.” Steve cuddled TJ close and smiled to Natasha. He loved the idea of entertaining friends, even ones outside of their kink.

“Right,” Natasha nodded.

“Well, that means we need to get all the open-air house fucking out of the way,” Bucky chuckled mischievously.

TJ looked at Steve, “I like that plan.”

Steve smiled at TJ and kissed his neck, taking TJ’s cue and ignoring Bucky’s lewd comment. “Baby? Are you okay with us not trying to start a family for a few years? We’re all so busy with work and discovering ourselves and things?” He stroked TJ’s shoulder and arm. “I mean, if you even want kids?”

“I wasn’t even thinking about kids . . . I mean, someday, yeah, sure. But, I’m not ready to have a child of my own, yet,” TJ said honestly.

Nodding, Steve let his hand stroke over TJ’s abdomen. “If we were werewolves, I could knock you up,” he used the slang which was unnatural to him just to tease TJ.

Humming, grinding down against Steve’s lap with a seductive smirk, TJ said, “oh, yeah? And who says as a werewolf, I’d _let_ you knock me up?”

Growling playfully, Steve said, “my big alpha cock says.”

Bucky snorted. “Well, don’t know about you, but I’ve been patient enough putting off my punishment. I’m going down stairs.” He stood and headed to the bathroom to get their hurriedly discarded toys and clean them up for further playtime.

TJ looked at Bucky and then at Steve, “I’ve learned my lesson, sir.” Honestly he did _not_ want to be put back in another cage. They were good in small doses, but he’d already been caged for a long time that day.

Steve studied TJ and shook his head. “No, I don’t think you have. Get downstairs and we’ll discuss what your _next_ punishment will be.” He stressed the word to indicate he was changing punishments.

Pouting, but relieved that Steve wouldn’t be using the cage, TJ slid off Steve’s lap and walked down the basement. He looked over at Clint and asked, “you wanna join in, Clint?”

The blond grinned and nodded. “I’d love to, but only if the entire family agrees, honey. If Steve’s got something special planned for housewarming, I don’t wanna interfere, you know?”

TJ looked at Steve, “can Clint join in, Sir? He didn’t get to play earlier.”

Turning, Steve studied his husband then the other members of the household, including their newest. He finally settled on looking to Natasha. “Do you think Clint needs teaching our ways by example? Maybe getting a dose of what punishment might be if he disobeys?”

“I think that’s a great idea,” Natasha looked at Clint and offered him a smile, “you want that, love?”

A small whimper of anticipation broke from the man. He’d been so patient that night, he would finally be rewarded. And Steve had promised bondage punishment, one of Clint’s favorites. “Please, Mistress? I want to learn like the others.”

“Since you asked so nicely and have been patient all day, love,” Natasha stroked Clint’s cheek and then pulled away, “come help me and Bucky get the toys from earlier.”

Nodding eagerly, Clint remembered to say clearly, “yes, Mistress. Thank you.” He threw TJ a wink and a grin before heading off to help Bucky clean and collect the toys.

Steve turned to TJ. “Just because you’re being generous and allowing Clint to play in our new dungeon, don’t think that excuses you from punishment, pet.”

“But, I did good today, Sir, and you punished me earlier for agreeing that Bucky handles me better . . . and being anxious for his cock, Sir,” TJ flashed his husband a wicked grin.

“Sounds like you really didn’t learn your lesson, pet. You’re still letting your brother influence you.” Steve followed his husband downstairs, letting Bucky, Clint, and Natasha join them in their own time. Instead, he looked at TJ as TJ looked around the finished, though by no means fully furnished, room.

TJ looked over the many toys that hadn’t been used yet.

“So, what to do with my naughty pet,” Steve murmured.

“I don’t think I’ve been naughty, sir,” TJ stated, still looking around.

“And did you let your baby brother fuck you this week, out of the date night we so generously set up for you two?” Steve asked.

“Well, yes, it’s not _my_ fault he’s so damn enticing,” TJ said, finally looking at Steve; his lips were pulled into a smirk and his eyes danced.

Watching his husband carefully, Steve began circling the furniture, machines, and racks and drawers of toys. He lay his fingers lightly on several, carefully gauging TJ’s reactions to know what was enticing that night. TJ had gone through a long deprivation period followed by a huge emotional upheaval. Steve wanted to make sure to give TJ what _he_ needed, especially if it was more than cuddles and vanilla.

TJ watched as Steve circled the room, “Bucky just fills me so full, sir. I can’t help wanting to be fucked by him.” He was purposely running his mouth, letting Steve know that it was okay to go a little rougher that night. If he didn’t want to be punished, he would have kept quiet and apologized when needed.

Steve gestured towards what looked like a sort of ladder with padding and hand restraints attached. “Strip, pet . . . don’t make me cut off that nice outfit.”

“And if I’m being so _naughty_ , like you said,” TJ licked his lips looking at the bench and then back to Steve, “why should I listen to you, Sir?”

“Lesson one,” Steve barked, glaring at TJ.

“Lesson one,” TJ tapped his finger to his lips, still smirking with that mischievous glint in his eye, “lesson one . . . that’s an important one, isn’t it?”

Steve reached over and literally ripped TJ’s shirt down the front with nothing more than the strength on one hand. “Lesson one,” he growled, eyes narrowed.

Gasping, TJ looked up at Steve, eyes darkening, “might hafta remind me, sir,” he breathed, trying desperately to keep up the disobedience, loving the dominance that Steve showed.

Steve reached down and tugged TJ’s pants open then shoved them down TJ’s hips. “Get outta those. You don’t deserve clothes, you bad boy!” Steve looked TJ up and down like he was determining just how much punishment it would take to absolutely break his husband and then some. He wanted to be careful not to slip over into the behavior Liam or Brock had used with TJ, but trusted TJ to tell him if it was too much.

Keening, TJ kept his eyes locked on Steve as he shimmied out of his pants; he hadn’t put on any underwear after the fiasco with his adoptive mother.

Lifting an eyebrow, Steve shook his head. “Planning on an early play date with your baby brother later?” He circled TJ and nodded. Taking his husband’s arm, he tugged the smaller man to the cushioned ladder setup. He pushed him down over the bench and snarled, “you are going to learn to respect me, you little virgin wannabe!” Steve quickly snapped TJ’s wrists into the restraints and then ran a hand down the curve of his ass. “Check in.”

“Green, sir,” TJ moaned, pulling against the restraints, testing them. There would be no way for him to release himself; the only way he was getting out of the restraints was if someone _let_ him out.

“Oh, look, baby’s forgotten to leave himself open to me. No plug?” Steve swatted TJ’s ass firmly then caressed the sting away.

Groaning, TJ’s toes curled and his fingers flexed around air, “no plug, sir.”

“Do you think lesson one is _’TJ owns TJ’_?” Steve walked over to the small store of paddles and lashes they had in their combined supply. Smiling at seeing one Natasha had told him Bucky gave her right after their group started playing together, from his order in Colorado, Steve took down a suede paddle with a three-heart pattern. It would leave heart shaped impressions behind on TJ’s beautiful flesh. “Well?” Steve demanded. “Do you?”

Moaning, TJ pushed his hips against the bench, “mmm . . . yes, sir.” He turned his head to look at Steve; his cheeks were already beginning to flush with arousal. “That’s lesson one, sir. Thank you for reminding me.”

Steve let the paddle slap TJ’s ass lightly, not enough for imprint, just feeling. “Well, you’re wrong!”

Mewling, TJ gasped softly at the light tap, hips rolling again.

“Lesson one: Steve owns TJ. TJ owns no one! Say it!” Steve slapped slightly again.

“TJ . . . owns TJ,” the lean brunet groaned out, fingers curling around the legs of the bench.

“Wrong!” Steve ignored Natasha, Clint, and Bucky coming down the stairs with the other toys that had been used that day. He said, “lesson one: Steve owns TJ. TJ owns no one!” Steve accompanied this claim with a stinging slap right across the lower part of TJ’s ass, just missing his perineum. “Say it!”

Yelping, TJ moaned and gasped out, “Steve . . . owns TJ.”

“Who does TJ own?” Steve pushed, slapping again, this time across the top of TJ’s globes where they just started rounding out.

TJ cried out, panting; he tugged against the restraints, “TJ owns Steve. TJ . . . owns his . . . Sir.”

Bucky snickered very lightly. “Ain’t that the truth?”

“No!” Steve slapped again, this time once across each asscheek, and red heart shaped marks began to rise. “Lesson one! Who does Steve own?”

“TJ . . .” TJ whimpered, his cock already beginning to leak precum against the bench. Sweat glistened on his skin and the flush had spread from his cheeks to his shoulders and chest.

Steve gave TJ several more hard swipes then eased off a bit, checking to see that his husband’s ass was lightly red all over with prominent heart shapes in random placement over his cheeks. “Lesson one!”

Crying by then, TJ whimpered, “Steve owns TJ . . . TJ owns no one.” His ass burned, but it felt like a good burn.

“I don’t think you believe that, pet! You’ve been so disrespectful. You’re saying what Captain _wants_ to hear, aren’t you?” He demanded with a few lighter swipes to TJ’s hips.

“No, sir,” TJ cried out, fingers flexing, hips rolling to try and get some friction on his needy cock, “I - - I believe it, sir!”

“Say it! Lesson one, say it!” Steve began to lay down a fresh layer of red on TJ’s warmed ass, watching as heart blended into heart over and over, leaving the flesh bright and shining.

Sobbing, TJ tugged at the restraints, “Steve owns TJ! T - - J . . . owns . . . n - - no one!”

Finally, Steve stopped hitting and watched the dark and light red patches, some heart shapes faint, others bold and beautiful, covering TJ’s fine ass. He growled out, “what is lesson one?”

“Ste - - Steve owns T - - TJ . . . TJ o - - owns no one,” TJ mewled; his chest heaved and sweat dampened his hair. His hips continued to rock softly into the bench as his ass throbbed.

“I think that should leave an impression on you. Bucky is not your owner, TJ. Who is?” Steve slapped the paddle into his own hand a couple of times, from behind TJ, out of view.

“S - - Steve Rogers!” TJ cried out.

“And who knows what’s best for TJ?” Steve prompted, once more hitting his hand and watching TJ react in anticipation.

At each slapping noise, TJ’s body tensed and relaxed, “S - - Steve . . .”

“You gonna sass Captain again?” Steve leaned over and lightly sent a stinging slap across TJ’s lower back, not enough to leave more than a hint of red, not even a slight heart shape showed up it was so light.

Sobbing again, TJ shook his head, “no, sir! I - - I won - - won’t sass the C - - Captain again!”

Nodding, reaching out to tenderly stroke TJ’s curls, Steve cooed, “I believe you’ll try not to, baby. But I think no matter how good you want to be, you’ve still got a lot of learning to do.” Steve reached down and unbound TJ’s wrists. “Don’t move, baby. I’m gonna get the aloe and we’ll work out your stiffness.” He leaned down without touching TJ and whispered “you did real good, sweetheart.” Steve kissed TJ’s ear.

TJ mewled but didn’t move; he let his head hang down and his whole body seemed to quiver.

Steve came back and began to very carefully massage the aloe into his lover’s welts. He worked TJ’s muscles on his arms and legs to ease movement back into them. Finally, he helped TJ to stand and moved him to a soft mattress nearby. Steve sank down and offered a bottle, with a straw it in, and brushed TJ’s curls. “Punishment break. Check in.”

“Green . . .” TJ murmured before taking a small sip of the water.

“Good boy, pet,” Steve crooned. He glanced over at Natasha and Clint, who had been using an oral sex seat, with Clint positioned on his back under the oval, open seat and licking and tonguing Natasha through the opening. Bucky stood nearby lightly stroking his own cock as he watched Steve and TJ. Steve smiled and looked back at TJ. “Drink more water.”

TJ did as he was told, sipping more water out of the straw; he watched Clint and Nat closely. His pale eyes flickered to look at Bucky and he let out a needy mewl as he watched his brother stroking himself.

Steve began to caress his husband’s ass once more, making sure the aloe took the sting and redness away. “Serious, though, TJ. Green? You sure you want more or do you wanna just play?”

“Well,” TJ said, tearing his eyes away from Bucky to look at Steve, “do you think I deserve more punishment, sir?”

“I think you deserve reminders every day, my naughty boy. But not allowing playtime is proven to make naughty boys even naughtier during lessons.” Steve kissed TJ’s buttock on one prominent heart welt. He reached between TJ’s legs to stroke that heavy sac and smooth taint. “And you are so damn full for me.”

TJ whimpered and pushed back into Steve’s hand; his cock was still painfully erect and he wanted release.

“Does baby need some milking?” Steve crooned, kissing another heart shaped welt.

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, moaning and grinding against the sheets.

“Do you think you deserve a milking before we continue, my naughty boy?” Steve reached his fingers slightly forward to caress the very base of TJ’s member.

Keening, TJ said, “whatever you think, sir. You know best . . .”

Nodding, Steve kissed one more welt and pushed up from the mattress, beginning to strip down. “Serious, TJ, think your ass could take a bit of play? You’re pretty open from before . . .”

“Mhmm . . . green, sir,” TJ mewled, pushing up on his forearms to present himself to his husband.

“Natasha, mind if my pet gets milked over there?” Steve asked and reached down to stand TJ carefully up rather than filling him with thick cock.

Gasping, Natasha rolled her crotch against her boyfriend’s tongue, “fine by me,” she answered.

Steve walked his overly needy husband over to the others and positioned TJ on the floor, gesturing for Bucky to come join them. Bucky lay obediently on the floor then Steve shifted TJ to sit over Bucky’s erection. “Now, let me guide you on down, pet,” he cooed, grabbing Bucky’s cock, causing the other man to groan, and sliding the head into TJ’s passage. “Now impale yourself on your brother’s cock, pet,” Steve ordered.

Mewling, TJ lowered himself down with one smooth slide until the sore, heated skin on his ass pressed against Bucky’s pelvis. TJ moaned and threw his head back at the sensations driving his nerves wild. He didn’t move, expecting that Steve would tell him when he was allowed.

The display only made Clint whimper in response, eyes locked on the three men as he continued to eat out his girlfriend above him. Clint groaned again after TJ bottomed out. He drew Natasha’s clit into his mouth and began to suck on the little nub of nerves.

Natasha gasped and moaned, hips rolling. Clint, she found out, was always able to make her finish fast when it came to oral; he knew what he was doing.

Steve smiled and moved between both couples and presented himself, stroking lightly. “Who wants a mouthful?” he offered on a purr.

“I do, sir,” TJ mewled; he still hadn’t moved up or down on Bucky’s member. Steve had never told him he could fuck himself on Bucky.

Turning, Steve offered his member to his husband, stroking his curls. “You know, you’ll never get milked if you just warm him all night . . . but if that’s what you’d rather do for your play break . . .”

Moaning, TJ immediately began to ride Bucky’s cock, his hot flesh slapping against his twin’s crotch with every thrust. As he rose and fell on his brother’s erection, he took his husband’s cock into his mouth and sucked the head, swirling his tongue and letting it dart into the slit.

Bucky practically screamed at the sudden wonderful stimulation, somehow a lingering ache coming back from earlier restrictions. He tried to cut off his scream, his cock throbbing and pulsing, thickening more in answering excitement.

Clint lifted both hands to grasp Nat’s hips, thrusting his stiffened tongue deep then sucking hard at her sensitive clit. With a quivering sigh, Natasha answered Clint’s hard suck with her orgasm.

Steve rocked slightly into his husband’s loving mouth, making a soft whimper of approval.

Clint lapped up all his girfriend would give him, tongue dancing around inside her to clean and taste and continue the stimulation. After he’d cleaned her, avoiding her clit, Clint began to work her over again, going for multiple orgams. He adored the way Natasha tasted, and the sounds she made, when she came in his mouth.

Bucky let his head fall back on the cushioned floor with a dull thunk, groaning. He began thrusting up with his hips to meet his brother’s down thrusts. TJ continued to fuck himself on his brother as he sucked on his husband’s thick cock, his own member weeping and needy against his abdomen. Steve kept fucking his husband’s mouth, tangling his hands in the brunet’s soft, sweat-damp curls. “I hear you can cum without touching when your baby brother fills you? Wanna see that!”

Moaning around Steve’s shaft, TJ began to fuck himself harder on Bucky, angling his hips so that his twin’s shaft stroked against his prostate. The welts on his ass burned with every downward thrust, only adding to the pleasure he felt.

Steve looked down at his husband, ignoring the fact that half his own ass was in Natasha’s face. He stroked again and cooed, “check in, baby.”

TJ snapped once.

Nodding, Steve glanced over at Natasha. “You okay, Natasha?” He sounded amused, content, happy.

“Yeah, great,” Natasha moaned softly.

With a nod, he asked, “should Clint check in? He hasn’t come up for air.” Steve laughed.

“Check in, love,” Natasha ordered.

Clint tapped his left hand on Natasha’s hip once before switching it back over to open her up for his mouth again.

“Bucky, check in, babe,” Steve panted.

“Green and wanting to go purple, Stevie,” Bucky called back, thrusting hard enough to lift TJ a bit.

Steve groaned and thrust again into TJ’s mouth. “Damn, you are so good, baby, so beautiful!”

TJ moaned and his hips began to stutter, slipping out of rhythm as his brother’s member kept slamming into his prostate, loving the hard pace Bucky had picked up. Clint finally thrust up, hard, sticking his tongue into Natasha as hard and deep as he could, the rhythm between the lovers matched and powerful. At the same time, Bucky gave a powerful heave, slamming his cock fully into TJ’s ass with a loud grunt. The powerful thrusts made both Natasha and TJ moan and cum. TJ’s seed covered Bucky’s chest.

At TJ’s muscular spasms below him, Steve came too, already on edge from the sexy spanking they’d gone through. He had really enjoyed bringing out the noises, the welts on his husband’s tender ass. Shouting, Steve thrust hard as he shot his load down TJ’s throat without real warning. TJ gagged, causing spit and cum to run down the corners of his mouth, and his body tensed, his walls clenching around Bucky tight. Bucky came last, his moans lost in whimpers of pleasure while his hips chased the intense pleasure of TJ’s tight heat around him, cum shooting out, painting TJ’s walls, then leaking out of his twin’s overfull ass.

With a sigh, Natasha finally stood on slightly trembling legs, pushing the chair back so Clint could catch his breath. The stocky blond was the only member still unfulfilled, his throbbing cock pulsing thick and needy. Natasha crouched down to wrap her hand around Clint’s needy cock.

Looking up at his beautiful girlfriend, Clint smiled happily, eyes totally blown. “That was one hell of a punishment. Want me more of that.” He sighed happily despite not having cum yet.

“You want _more_ punishment, love?” Natasha purred, looking down at her boyfriend, still stroking, trying to bring Clint to release. She looked up at Steve, who still thrust softly into TJ’s mouth, “you hear that, Steve? My boy wants _more_ punishment.”

TJ moaned and rolled his hips; the lean brunet looked completely wrecked. His pale eyes were blown wide and his skin flushed, glistening with a sheer layer of sweat. A mixture of cum and spit coated his chin as his eyes looked up under his lashes at his husband.

Chuckling, Bucky said, “more of that last kind of punishment, hell yeah!” He couldn’t help but agree with the needy blond lying on the floor. Bucky walked over to the bathroom attached to the basement and ran some warm water, wetting and soaping a pair of cloths. Coming back, he offered one to Natasha and one to Steve, ignoring TJ’s dirty state.

Steve accepted the cloth and finally stopped his gentle thrusts. He pulled his mostly flaccid member from his husband’s wonderful mouth and paused, as if considering whether to clean TJ or not. Finally, he began to wash his boy’s beautiful face. “So pretty when behaving.”

Mewling, TJ let his husband clean the mess from his face. “I can be a good boy, sir,” TJ's voice cracked, throat sore, slightly abused, from Steve's thrusts.

Reaching over, Steve stroked TJ’s curls. “You just need reminders, my precious boy.”

Natasha smiled at Steve and TJ. She turned to her soon to be ex-husband. Knowing Bucky didn't like to stay dirty, she asked, “would you like to get clean, dear?”

“Yes, please, doll,” Bucky responded, “but that’s for you. You first.” He smiled at his wife.

Nodding and giving Bucky an approving smile, Natasha cleaned herself up, stopping her stroking of Clint. Clint sat watching her, lightly holding his cock but not actually stroking it, seeming mesmerized by Natasha’s full breasts.

TJ nuzzled Steve's hand, eyes slipping closed and face fading into a contented expression.

“So, you believe me when I say other people don’t know what’s best for you, my love?” Steve stroked again, eyeing TJ’s ass to make sure the welts continued to slowly fade, noting which ones would need more care than others.

“Oh, yes, sir. You know what's best. Captain always knows what's best,” TJ purred, opening his eyes to smile softly at Steve.

Steve encircled him in a cuddle, rocking gently. “Ready for discussion?” he whispered.

Humming, TJ nuzzled Steve's chest and nodded, “okay, sir.”

“Good boy. Was it not enough?” Finally, Steve understood that TJ would tell him if it had been too much.

“It was great, sir. Much more and I might've safeworded,” TJ explained.

Steve seemed to swell with pride. He nuzzled TJ’s neck. “Great, perfect.” He felt content knowing he’d been able to heighten his lover’s pleasure without slipping over too far. “And the different toys? Any of those used too much? Not enough?” He suspected that something they’d used earlier had made TJ uncomfortable, most likely the cage.

“Well,” TJ pulled away slightly to look up at Steve, “I really liked the bench and paddle, those were nice. And . . . the cage? I don't mind it in smaller doses . . . but I think it might've been on a little too long.”

Nodding, Steve thought that over seriously. “Okay, shall we try it on an increasing time limit those days we do use it? Say . . . an hour the first time and work up from there? I know I’d have trouble being stimulated but caged. Bucky’s looked less painful to me.”

“Oh, no, that can be painful, too, if on too long. I thought I’d need to go to the hospital. I think we need to rethink time limits, too.” He grinned at Natasha and Clint, easily including his wife’s boyfriend.

Natasha nodded, “that seems like a good idea. Work up to the longer time periods caged.”

TJ nodded his agreement, “yeah, that sounds good.”

Steve stroked TJ’s neck and asked, “okay, where I hit you? Good spots, not good? Need more spots?” He would only learn if he talked to his lover.

“No, they were good,” TJ smiled at his husband, “I don't think I need more spots, hard to say though until we try it.”

“Well, I also have a couple of books on different punishments for our kink. So, if you want, we can go over them together?” He kissed TJ’s neck; the freedom of being able to push TJ’s beautiful body to its limits had Steve practically humming in pleasure.

“Sure,” TJ nodded, “might be good to look and see.”

“Oh, this is where the five of us grab different colors and mark up all your naughty books? Cool. I’m down with a good cool down like that. TJ can even do it while lying on his front to give his ass a break.” Bucky laughed low and happy.

Natasha nodded, “might do us all some good to cool down for a while.”

“Well, your boy still needs cumming and Bucky needs cleaning,” Steve chuckled. He carefully led TJ back over to the bed and began to change it so the group could settle on it. He called, “while Bucky’s getting cleaned up, can someone get me something to clean myself with? And more water? And someone please take care of poor Clint? He’s practically blue!”

Nodding, Bucky went and grabbed some bottled water and passed them off to Natasha, who refused the water in order to begin stroking her boyfriend once more. Bucky placed the bottles on a nearby counter then cleaned his face and crotch before bringing a warm washcloth to Steve so he could clean his own crotch. He picked the bottles back up and held them until Steve finished cleaning himself before handing them over to the muscular blond.

“Thanks,” Steve said and patted the cleaned bedding. “Come sit. TJ, get comfortable, pet. I’ll get the pens and books.” He didn’t get dressed, comfortable with his play mates, and hurried to the bookshelf below a hanging board of paddles and flails. Squatting down, Steve began to get the relative books.

Bucky sank onto the sheets and hugged his wife, letting her continue the hand job on Clint, who seemed to be enjoying the attentions though no closer to orgasm. “Steve’s come out of his shell a lot, TJ. You’ve gotta be so proud of helping him. Has talking to Riley at the VA helped you guys with your traumas?” He reached over to stroke TJ’s ankle, inviting him to lay down with them.

TJ nodded, smiling softly as he crawled onto the bed and then laid down on the plush mattress on his front. He nuzzled his twin’s thigh with the side of cheek, placing tender, sweet kisses on Bucky’s flesh. Between kisses, TJ said, “Riley is helping Steve a lot . . . he’s a lot more comfortable with himself.”

“Well, it shows. Before the military, Steve was as open and sweet as his face, you know? People thought of him as this pure little choir boy who always got into fights for some reason. But he closed off after the military, and none of us, even me, knew why. Those of us he stuck around just counted ourselves lucky we weren’t cut off completely.” Sighing, Bucky reached out his other foot and stroked TJ’s hip, careful of the welts. “You couldn’t leave the apartment after asshat, but Steve couldn’t leave his mind. It was heartbreaking.”

Humming softly, TJ nodded and looked over at where Steve was still looking through the bookshelf, “well, I’m just happy he’s finally starting to love _himself_.”

“ _You_ did that, brother mine.” Bucky smiled. “He has blossomed around you. Steve always leans towards those who need protecting and help, must be his dom side. And he found someone perfect for him in you. Just don’t stop voicing your own wants, TJ. Steve _will_ respect them.”

Sighing, laying his head against Bucky’s leg, TJ nodded, “I know.” He felt exhausted, the day finally seeming to catch up with him. “Do you think Pierce will back off?” TJ asked softly, trailing his fingers along the new, clean sheets.

“I think if he’s stupid enough to keep trying to come up with ways to ruin your reputation, he’s just adding years to his ultimate sentence. Uncle Bud’s never looked so happy since having to leave the White House, notice? He lives for this kind of protective fight. Now, it’s _you_ he’s protecting.” Bucky stroked his toes down TJ’s hip again. “See, Bud really loves you, TJ . . . he’ll bend over backwards to help you. And Bud’s not that flexible a guy.”

Laughing tiredly, TJ nodded, “I know . . .” He nuzzled Bucky’s thigh again, “I have a good family.”

Standing in one smooth motion, Steve walked back with the supplies. He smiled at TJ’s sleepy look. “This is the third time I’ve tried to get you to mark our books, baby, and you always fall asleep.” He sounded amused.

“That’s ‘cause you always want to do it _after_ sex, sir,” TJ mumbled, thought it was obvious he was trying to stay awake.

Nodding, Steve put the books and pens aside and tugged over a neatly folded comforter, unfolding it and sliding it over the group, making sure TJ’s head was exposed. “Fine, we nap then look through our sex books,” Steve chuckled. He glanced over to Natasha and Clint, noting that the stocky blond still was erect despite Natasha’s efforts.

“M’kay,” TJ murmured, nestling to get comfortable before falling asleep in his normal quick fashion.

Steve watched, and shook his head in fond exasperation. He gave a grin at Bucky then the other couple then turned to go clean up their equipment and stow it away properly. He wasn’t as tired as either twin since he’d done the least amount of work, though his arm muscles sang with the good burn of the workout he’d gotten spanking his husband.

Clint sighed and turned to Natasha. “Love when you touch me, Tasha,” he purred softly.

Natasha gave her boyfriend a smile, “good, because I don’t plan on stopping.”

“Would it be obscene of me to fall asleep with your stroking me?” Clint asked languidly, stretching out on the other side of Bucky so TJ wasn’t crowded.

“Not at all,” Natasha stated with a smile for Clint, “rest, love.”

By the time Steve got back to the foursome, Clint had drifted off, nuzzling his girlfriend’s inner thigh, head in her lap. Bucky had curled into his twin, face pressed to TJ’s shoulder. Steve smiled at Natasha and pulled over a large wedge pillow, placing it behind Nat and sinking down next to her to share. He slid an arm around her and sighed. “This is what I’d always hoped . . . me and mine just relaxing in comfort.”


	22. When Good Dates Go Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_We are taking a writing hiatus until we are finished working with the Captain America Big Bang 2017. Thank you for your patience._ **
> 
> **Warnings: Group Assault, Hit for Hire, Flashback caused Panic Attack, Conspiracy and Plots Discussion**

TJ smiled at his twin, bumping shoulders as they walked down the sidewalk. They had just finished their meal at the small diner a few blocks away from the motel. The twins had been able to check into the motel earlier than normal with Steve busy all day with lawyers and Natasha and Clint shopping for their floor. The twins had already spent a lot of time loving each other in the motel room and now headed back to resume their date night in their room.

Bumping back, Bucky grinned and hummed softly, enjoying this rare long day alone with his twin. “Snow in the air, I’m thinking,” he said and smiled at TJ. “Your first winter living in Jersey.”

Huddling tighter in his jacket at the mention of the cold, TJ nodded, “yeah, it’s _your’s_ too, you know?”

“Okay,” Bucky conceded, “your first winter not living in DC.” He grinned and bumped again.

Smiling, looking up at the heavy, dark clouds in the sky that covered up any stars, TJ blew out a breath, visible in the cold air. “Definitely don’t miss it. I like it here, with you and Steve and Nat . . . and Clint - - he seems to fit well in our little group.”

Nodding, Bucky said, “yeah. I actually feel like life’s more complete now. Funny how I never knew I needed you before. You’re really gonna make me dress up nice for Aunt Elaine’s party, huh?” he changed the subject with a smile.

“You’ll look great in a tux, Buck!” TJ grinned, bumping his twin softly, “plus, Momma just might murder you and then me if you show up to one of her parties in your normal jeans and a sweater.”

“But it’s a sweater with a turkey doing the tango on it! Total class, I swear!” Bucky snickered.

TJ giggled, “well, maybe you can wear that one to the dinner on Friday? Still might make Momma blow a gasket . . . could be fun?” TJ looked over at Bucky with a mischievous grin.

“I look forward to it,” Bucky agreed, grinning over at his twin. “So, here we are. Now, scene or no?” He asked, studying the door to their room. He didn’t wanna push a scene if it was too soon; they’d had a very intense one the day before.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in,” a low, masculine voice drawled from behind the twins, followed by a chorus of laughter.

Bucky stiffened and turned to see Jack Rollins, a man he had gotten fired from the Academy for abusing students. The man was surrounded by a small group of other men, with a variety of expressions; however, Bucky knew that he and his brother had just walked into a jumping.

“Bucky?” TJ whimpered, looking around at all the men, eyes wide in fear.

Bucky calmly pulled TJ behind him, trying to slip him the door key, intent on protecting his twin. He hoped they’d get inside before Jack thought to do anything.

“Grab them,” Jack barked out.

Just as Jack spoke, TJ managed to grab the room key from Bucky’s back pocket and slip the keycard into the lock. Grabbing Bucky’s arm as he opened the door, TJ tugged his twin hard and stumbled back into their room. TJ slammed the door shut just as Jack lurched forward to grab at them, the other man’s weight colliding heavily with the room door. TJ, eyes wide with fear, pushed his back against the door as the men on the other side thudded against it.

“B - - Bucky?” TJ whimpered, fear-clouded eyes meeting his twin’s as he continued to lean against the door.

Bucky called out, “get in the bathroom, Teej. Lock the door!” He dove for his phone and wallet on the nightstand, heading for the bathroom himself.

With a whimper, TJ seemed frozen on the spot, eyes clouding over with fear as his body began to tremble. The door behind him lurched with the force of a shove from one of the attackers, making TJ cry out in terror.

“TJ, bathroom!” Bucky ordered sternly, eyeing the door as he hit the 9-1-1 speed dial. He could hear the horrible slamming and banging as the men apparently tried to break down the motel room door. Buckys tood in the bathroom doorway, desperately reaching his weaker left arm out towards TJ as he listened to the phone.

TJ yelped once more as the door creaked and he hurried over to his brother standing in the bathroom doorway. Bucky yanked TJ past him, shoving him towards the questionable safety of the back window. “Try to get that thing open!”

Turning to try and open the window with trembling hands, TJ shook his head frantically, “i - - it doesn’t open!” He tried again, desperately pulling at the window but it didn’t budge.

Through the groaning front door, an angry shout came, “the little AIDS freaks are holed up in the bathroom! Someone go round to the window before they fuckin’ escape!”

Bucky shook his head and pulled the bathroom door shut, locking it as the breaking of the motel room door sounded like a shotgun blast. “Fuck!” he screamed, despite being on the phone with emergency responses. “They’ve broken the fuckin’ door in!”

TJ’s eyes widened in panic, his breathing becoming incredibly shallow as something pounded against the thick window behind them.

“They better not be fucking each other in there! Sicko brother-fuckers! I seen those disgusting pics!” someone yelled as booted feet stormed across the motel room for the thinner bathroom door.

Covering his ears with his shaking hands, TJ clamped his eyes shut and tried to take deep breaths but his lungs didn’t seem to be working. Each breath caught in the back of his throat as the attackers hurled insults and threats at them, so similar to the language Brock had used when he’d raped TJ. Opening his eyes, TJ looked at Bucky, though his vision was tunneling in and out of focus.

Leaning his back hard into the door, trying to prevent the gang from breaking it down, Bucky looked to TJ. He noted the pallor in an instant, the widening fear of those familiar pale eyes, and screamed out, “Teej? Stay with me, TJ!”

TJ’s chest heaved, unable to take in a single decent breath. Unable to settle himself down, TJ’s eyes rolled back and his body collapsed; his head colliding with the corner of the sink as he fell.

“TJ!” Bucky screamed, feeling the door give way. “Fuck, don’t be dead!” He hadn’t been able to actually talk to the dispatcher and now, trying to hold back the splintering bathroom door and those men pushing into it, Bucky couldn’t even go to his bleeding brother on the floor.

One of the men called out, “Fuck, we weren’t hired to _kill_ them! Get outta here!” The sounds of the men scrambling to leave came through the shattered door as Bucky slid to the floor and drew a shaking, wet breath of fear and horror.

He crawled over to TJ, vaguely aware that the banging on the window had stopped as well. “Teej? Brother?” Bucky felt TJ’s neck for a pulse, worried about the amount of blood he saw oozing from TJ’s head wound.

TJ let out a tiny whimper before he opened his eyes, looking dazed and confused. “Buck?” He whimpered again.

The sound of a female’s worried voice came from just beyond the broken door. “Hello? You’re safe. The police are on the way. Are you hurt?”

Bucky glanced towards the door and called out, “yeah, he’s hurt. Where’re those guys?”  
The door pushed open revealing a tall, trim woman dressed in a brown pant suit and dark blue jacket, nutbrown hair pulled into a bun with a simple fall, frowned, a phone already in her hand. She knelt down and held up a hand. “I know you hurt, but try not to move. Is he breathing?” Behind her, a red-haired man loomed in the smashed front doorway, apparently keeping bystanders at bay.

“Yeah,” Bucky called back, barely glancing at the woman, concentrating on his brother.

“Good. That’s my husband, Hank. He’s a paramedic. I’ve called for ambulances and cops. Try to stay still. Did you get hurt?” The stranger asked Bucky directly, concern in her light blue-grey eyes.

“No, but he hit his head,” Bucky answered, glancing up then back at TH, making sure his brother was still breathing. Blood covered the left side of TJ’s face and each breath came out in a painful sounding wheeze.

TJ seemed to hover on the edge of consciousness, his pale eyes clouded with pain.

“Just hang in there, brother mine,” Bucky ordered and cajoled simultaneously. He tried to push away some of the hair from TJ’s wound to see it better, but the woman stopped him, her slender fingers encircling Bucky’s wrist.

“Don’t move him. Let the blood clot. Can you guys tell me what happened?”

“Yeah, a pile of shit heads tried to jump us,” Bucky growled.

“Okay, and your name?” The woman carefully touched TJ’s neck to check his pulse, her fingers strong and sure but gentle. Apparently the situation did not scare her too much to try to help. “Name, on the floor,” she reiterated.

“She means you, Teej,” Bucky prompted.

“Tired . . ‘m tired,” TJ murmured; he just wanted to sleep, his head hurt.

“You stay awake,” she barked in surprising command. “You’re not allowed to sleep!” She sounded familiar with giving orders and having them obeyed. “Give me your name!” The woman said, “how can I contact your spouses if you fall asleep?” Apparently she hadn’t missed the unmatched wedding rings on the pair, which did look like brothers.

“T . . . J . . .” he answered, vision tunneling and focusing over and over again.

“Bucky,” the larger twin ground out, eyes still on his smaller brother.

Sirens filled the air as the woman tried to keep TJ awake, insisting he painfully answer questions. “Your spouse’s name, TJ.”

“S - - Steve . . . Rogers,” was the last thing TJ was able to say before passing out.

“Bucky . . . and Steve Rogers . . . damn, I know you guys!” She didn’t clarify her words before lifting her phone. “Need to call Stevie. Don’t have his new number. Help me out here, TJ?” She swore softly noting he was unconscious and started tormenting Bucky instead, able to get a call in to Natasha before the ambulances and police arrived, practically at the same time.

**************

A gentle stroking over TJ’s hair drew him from the darkness of his mind. Steady beeping, stiff sheets, and the smell of bandages and medicine hung in the air. The hand stroked again and again, gentle, soft, loving. The calloused fingers worked over bandaging and skin in a tender caress.

TJ groaned; his head pounded. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking and groaning softly at the change of light and the surge of dizziness the action caused.

A very soft ambient light hung over the room. Steve smiled down at TJ, blue eyes a strange combination of worry and relief.

“Wha . . .” TJ was confused as to where he was or why his head hurt so bad, finally all the horrible events came crashing down on top of him at once, “Bucky!” TJ tried to sit up, desperate to find his twin and make sure he was okay.

“Bucky’s in the bed next to yours, pet. Don’t move,” Steve gently ordered. “You have a concussion. Turn your head slowly, though it'll hurt. We’ve got the curtain pulled aside.” Steve gestured with his chin to T’s other side.

Slowly, sluggishly, TJ turned his head, and true to Steve’s word, the action hurt. He took in the sight of his twin.

Bucky’s left arm was in a light sling, but other than that he seemed perfectly fine, though sequestered in a hospital bed, dressed in a backless johnny. “Hey, big brother,” he said softly. Natasha sat beside him, closest to the curtained windows with Clint right next to her.

“Bucky . . .” TJ breathed, he offered his twin a pained smile of his own.

“Love you, brother mine,” Bucky assured him on a sigh.

“Love you, Buck,” TJ said softly, his voice cracking from stress. Deep purple bruising, marred the side of TJ’s face and head peeking out from under his bandaging.

“Cop’s wanna talk to us, Teej.” Bucky said softly. “But so does someone else. Up to a horde of visitors?” He eyed his brother’s partially shaved and bandaged head.

“I - - I guess . . .” TJ whimpered softly.

Steve stroked his husband’s head carefully again. “They won’t be allowed to harass you or anything, but your whole family’s here to see you, baby.”

“Don’t leave?” TJ begged, turning his head slowly to look back at Steve.

“Never,” Steve assured with a smile. “Gonna sit right here through everything, baby.” Instead, he hit the nurse call button attached by a long rubberized cord looped close to TJ’s hand.

The nurse came in and smiled. “Awake? That’s good. I’ll let the doctor know. Want me to let the family visit? Only five minutes, though!”

“Yes,” Steve confirmed, taking control. “Five minutes of Hammonds. First, though, send in their rescuer. I think they wanna meet her.” The nurse smiled brightly and left as Steve turned back to stroke TJ’s bandaged head again.

The sound of heels echoed down the hall and the same woman in brown peeked in. She smiled widely and headed right towards Bucky’s bed, though she tossed her pretty smile at TJ, as well. “Thank God. I thought once you passed out you’d go into a coma!”

“Not quite,” TJ answered softly, looking at the woman.

“So, you’re TJ . . . and you married our Stevie?” She sounded delighted.

“Our?” TJ looked confused.

Bucky chuckled then groaned. “You didn’t tell him who you were when you bullied us at the motel. Shame on you, Becca!”

TJ blinked and he looked at the woman; he paled as the recognition of the name settled in his pain-riddled brain. “Becca . . . Becca Barnes?”

Laughing, she held up her hand, showing off a modest wedding set. “Proctor now, but yeah. So, you’re the big brother they hid from me? Dad was an ass sometimes.”

“How - - why . . .” TJ looked over at Bucky.

“If you’re curious on why I was in the motel, it’s a coincidence, actually. I saw the twisted news and decided to cut into my internship to come find out what was really going on. I stopped at the motel because I was going to call to find out where you guys lived. All I knew was that you lived in New Jersey, thanks to Aunt Elaine keeping me partly informed.” Becca smiled, practically vibrating, her energy barely contained. She seemed a far cry from the calm professional that had rescued the pair. “My husband, Hank, held the curious at bay while we waited for help.”

TJ still looked confused, almost as if he didn’t believe any of this was real, that he’d wake up at any moment in his bed with Steve.

Steve stroked TJ’s hair. “Up to the rest of the family right now? Or do you wanna talk to Frank Castle and a Jersey cop? Clint asked Frank to stay involved, despite being a New York cop.”

Blinking TJ looked at Steve, “I . . . I don’t . . . know?”

“Okay, so how about the cops first and get that over with?” Steve suggested.

“Okay . . .” TJ nodded, but then winced; he made a mental note to try to nod as little as possible.

Steve nodded and when the nurse came back to kick Becca out of the room, Steve asked for the police before the family. She agreed. Becca smiled and said her goodbyes then left.

A few minutes passed and two police officers, one of them the very familiar Frank Castle, walked in.

Castle nodded to Clint then the hall before turning to TJ and bluntly asking, “feeling up to this?” On a sigh, Clint patted Nat’s hand and left, but he stayed close, pacing in front of the door.

“Yeah,” TJ said, eyes flickering over to Bucky and then the door that Clint had left through, wondering why Clint had been asked to leave.

Frank lifted his hand to gesture to the other officer. “This is David Lieberman.” He then pulled over another chair and sank down, carefully positioning himself to watch the New Jersey cop.

Much like Castle, this cop seemed worried about TJ and Bucky, not the possible unusual behavior and misconceptions related to TJ’s ongoing abuse case. He leaned forward and said, “thank you for talking with us, Mr. Rogers. I’m Dave]. Can you tell me, briefly if you wish, what happened?”

“We were walking from the diner when . . .” TJ looked at Bucky, he didn’t know the ringleader’s name, none of the voices had sounded familiar, though Bucky had seemed to have met him before.

“Jack Rollins. He and about six other guys, I think, attacked us,” Bucky growled out.

Lieberman looked at Bucky with a nod. He looked back to TJ. “Did this man, or any of them, say anything? Indicate what they wanted?”

Bucky began to shake his head then stopped, eyes widening. “Wait, when they broke the bathroom door, one of them . . . Jack, I think - - said something about not being hired to kill us!”

“Hired to? As if . . . they had a contract?” Dave asked.

Bucky sighed. “They also said we had AIDS and used other offensive language.”

TJ winced.

“How do you know this Jack Rollins, Bucky?” the Jersey cop asked, his hands continually writing what they discussed.

Steve snorted, but Bucky growled, “used to teach at the Brooklyn Academy. But I turned him in when I caught him hooking up some of the kids to different medieval torture items. He might not have moved any levers or whatever, he even claimed he wasn’t going to actually _torture_ them, but you don’t do that to kids! What if one of the other students began goofing around? Those aren’t toys, you know? They were used to kill people back way back!” Bucky winced as he shook his head. “So, I reported him. They had enough people collaborating and one of the students had filmed it on his phone, so Jack was fired and had to go to court for child endangerment. He’s banned from teaching.”

“So, this might be a vendetta against you and have nothing to do with TJ’s former assaults?” the cop asked.

“Wouldn’t rule it out,” Bucky growled again. “Rollins and Rumlow are best friends.”

TJ knew that they _should_ tell the cops about Alexander Pierce, however, that would be edging a dangerous line. Speaking about Pierce could lead to people finding out about the truth of Bucky and TJ’s relationship.

Suddenly, Bucky’s eyes opened wider. “My God, they were sent by Alexander Pierce!” He hadn’t apparently been thinking along the same worried lines as TJ.

“Why do you say that?” asked Lieberman.

Growling again, Bucky said, “because Pierce has been sending my Aunt stalking pictures of the two of us, my brother Tj and I. She’s been countering them and trying to stop him, but he keeps doing it. First from Colorado, where a group of us were in town after TJ and Steve got married. Next, TJ and I were in a private motel room. Someone took pictures through the window and Pierce sent them to my Aunt.” Looking pissed, Bucky said bitterly, “Rollins referred to those pictures, in fact. He shouldn’t have any knowledge of them unless he took them or Pierce or the photographer had told him! Pierce is stalking TJ and me, and now he’s getting people to try to beat us up?”

TJ whimpered softly, if Pierce was really the man behind the attack . . . he’d never be safe, not until they were able to take him down for good. Pierce would just keep hurting him and his family . . . TJ couldn’t let that happen.

“I want my Uncle Bud right now! And Aunt Elaine! TJ, we gotta tell them the newest that Pierce is up to!” Bucky looked desperately at his twin. “They need to get right on this!”

“No one needs to interfere in a police investigation,” David said firmly. “We’ll track them down and let you know what we find.”

TJ looked at his husband, eyes wide with pure fear. Would Pierce keep attacking them until Elaine backed out of the race? What if he _killed_ Steve or Bucky or Nat or Clint? TJ felt so completely useless and defenseless. He hadn't been able to help his brother; he’d _panicked_ when Bucky could’ve used his help. It was his fault all this had happened, had he just stayed in DC, Bucky, Nat, Clint, and Steve would have never been involved in his crazy political life. They'd be _safe_. Bucky could have _died_ and it was all TJ's fault.

It was Clint who ended the interview with his counterpart. He strode straight into the room and, in a decisive tone, told the two cops, “thank you. We will get back to you when the _victims_ are feeling up to it. I think it’s time you guys tracked down the suspects instead.”

Dave seemed unhappy by the sudden cut off but also stood and gruffly thanked the twins. The pair of cops left.

Steve leaned over and kissed the uninjured side of TJ’s head that he’d been petting. His phone sounded and, with a sigh, he reluctantly pulled back to glance at the text. Nodding, Steve said, “Officer Castle is arranging police protection for the hospital room overnight.” Steve put the phone away and leaned in to kiss his husband again. “I love you, TJ,” he said softly, voice firm and sure.

“I love you, too, Steve,” TJ said softly, pain and fear lacing his tone.

“Sorry, guys,” Steve lowered his voice, “but until we get Pierce? Date nights are going to be limited to in-house.”

TJ whimpered and nodded, causing him to wince again, he looked over at Bucky.

Bucky watched him intently. He nodded softly. “I agree . . . TJ? That okay with you?”

“Yeah,” TJ muttered, he didn’t say how he just wanted to go home and stay there. He was safe in his home.

“I think it’s time to tell Bud and Elaine what’s happening so they can get on this,” Steve revealed he didn’t want to leave the case totally in the hands of the police. “Okay, TJ? Bucky?”

Nodding, Bucky sighed. “Yeah, let’s get this over. They have resources that even the cops won’t have. If we’re being targeted because of political reasons, let the politicians pay for protecting us.” He sounded pissed. “It’s about time TJ got to live without this kinda bullshit!” He glanced towards Natasha then Clint then back to TJ.

Wincing, TJ didn’t comment on what Bucky had said. TJ had brought this all down on all of them . . . first with Brock and now with Pierce. He couldn’t stop screwing everything up . . . hurting the people closest to him. He was a disease.

Steve kissed TJ again. He frowned. “I see your mind going dark, baby. Talk to me . . .”

TJ looked up at Steve and then over to Bucky, Clint, and Natasha. He shook his head, eyes falling to look down at his hands.

“Tell me, pet,” Steve cooed, but it was a gentle order, not a request.

“I . . . I hurt everything I touch . . .” TJ whimpered softly, he swallowed thickly, causing his throat to throb and ache with the tension.

“Did you tell someone to beat Bucky up?” Steve challenged. He held up a hand to shut Bucky up, who had tried to protest. Bucky clamped his mouth shut.

“N - - no . . . but . . . it’s my fault . . .” TJ murmured, not lifting his eyes.

“Jack Rollins hated Bucky at the Academy, months before you began to work there.” Steve stroked fingers down TJ’s head. “And Pierce has long had his claws in the Academy. Seems natural for Pierce to use Rollins’ anger with Bucky to attack him. How is that _your_ fault, pet?”

“Without me . . . none of this would’ve happened . . . Pierce wouldn’t have sent Rollins after Bucky . . . he would have had no reason to. He was pissed because, I assume, that he couldn’t threaten Elaine with those pictures anymore. Had I just stayed in DC . . . you all would be safe,” TJ explained brokenly, his entire presence radiated defeat and guilt.

“Wait a minute,” Bucky said, looking incredulous. “Pierce knows who I am, even if I’m _just a cousin_ , and he rules the Academy, pretty much, where I used to work. So, what makes you think he didn’t already have his eyes in me as a way to control Aunt Elaine?”

“You and I both know Pierce would have never used you against Aunt Elaine if I hadn’t come to New York. She didn’t talk about you . . . you were a _distant_ nephew at best,” TJ said softly, glancing over at his twin.

Bucky settled down against his pillow, still frowning, and shut his eyes. He began to ignore the group.

Sighing, TJ laid back against his own pillow.

Steve kissed TJ’s head again. “I don’t think it would have mattered, TJ. But would you really deny us the happiness of being with you because politicians are always in danger?”

Elaine led the rest of the group in to see them, heading right to the central spot between the twins’ beds. “Tommy, my God! The police won’t tell us anything. What happened?” She reached out to touch his arm.

“Bucky and I were jumped,” TJ muttered, wincing at his adoptive mother’s loud tone.

She frowned and looked to Bucky, who seemed to be sleeping if it weren’t for his frown. Turning back to TJ, she demanded, “tell me everything.”

Natasha looked at her husband, and then TJ, before finally meeting Steve’s eyes from across the room. She frowned softly, emerald eyes concerned. “We believe the attack might have been ordered by Pierce,” Natasha explained, seeing no reason to not jump straight to the main point.

“How? Why?” Elaine turned to Natasha. Spotting Clint, Elaine asked, “and who are you?”

“One of the attackers said something that would suggest an ordered hit. Saying how they weren’t _hired_ to kill either Bucky or TJ. And why, we believe, it might be because Pierce felt the need to try and force your hand by hurting your son and nephew after the pictures he’d gotten weren’t able to be used any longer,” Natasha explained calmly.

“Officer Clint Barton, ma’am. I was the first cop on TJ’s case,” Clint responded, “but I’m not permitted to be involved int eh Jersey offenses so know about as much as you do.”

Elaine frowned fiercely and glanced to her ex-husband, Bud. She looked back at TJ. “Tommy? Did you recognize any of the attackers? Rumlow wasn’t freed without our knowing?” She stroked again, determining to ignore Clint for the moment, despite not approving of his continued presence if he was so useless.

TJ winced again as he shook his head, “no, but Bucky did. The guy leading the whole thing was a . . . Jack Rollins?”

Elaine stiffened at the name, apparently recognizing it though she’d never before indicated she knew of some disgraced teacher from New York. She sighed and let go of her son’s hand. “Dougie?” She asked her other son, “isn’t that the man who tried to get onto our security staff about five months ago?”

Nodding, Doug answered, “yeah, we denied his request though after his background check came back with charges of child endangerment.”

“The child torturer, wasn’t he?” She frowned severely. “I recall Bud saying he felt the man was mad because Bucky got him fired so would try to get even by hurting us from the inside.” She looked to Bud.

“Yeah, like some goddamned Trojan horse,” Bud agreed.

“And he gave some indicator that Pierce managed to hire him to attack TJ and Bucky?” Elaine crossed her arms, frowning severely.

Steve cleared his throat. “Yeah, Bucky told the police that Rollins referenced his dates with TJ somehow? Means either Rollins was the one taking those photos or knew who it was.”

Elaine sighed. She looked to Bud, who was in charge of the campaign against Pierce and his machinations.

“I’ll try to have someone look into it,” Bud nodded, looking determined, “Pierce got desperate. I’m sure he made mistakes.”

“And what was it this Rollins said?” Elaine looked at TJ. “About your . . . dates.” She glanced towards the uncommonly quiet Bucky then back to TJ.

“I - - I don’t know . . . Bucky was the only one who really heard him . . .” TJ muttered, pales eyes flickering to look at his twin worriedly. “I - - I passed out . . .”

“I don’t doubt it with that head injury. Bucky?” Elaine prompted, turning to her nephew.

“Don’t ask me. I’m the least important member of this damn family.” Bucky kept his eyes closed.

TJ’s eyes widened and he let out a small whimper. Had he actually made Bucky feel like that?

Steve sighed and stroked TJ’s head again. “Buck, this isn’t time for one of your tantrums. Tell your Aunt and Uncle what Rollins said so we can get Pierce caught and off all our backs. Then you and TJ can work this out.”

“He mentioned me fucking my brother,” Bucky kept his eyes closed, his right fist clenched. “Said he saw the pictures.”

“Well,” Bud nodded, “that would be a direct link to Pierce, considering those photos have only been passed through by Pierce himself.”

Elaine nodded. “Please get on that, Bud. We’ve got to get these men and we’ll have Pierce by the balls. He should never have linked up with that rat, damn idiot.” However, the woman smiled in satisfaction. Turning back to TJ, she reached out to pet his hand once more. “We’re going to assign you both secret service men. This has gotten out of hand!”

“Don’t bother. I don’t plan to ever leave my damn house again,” Bucky ground out. “I’ll get some sort of work on the internet or something.”

“James . . .” Natasha said softly, frown deepening. If there was one thing about James Buchanan Barnes it was that he loved people.

He opened grey-blue eyes and tears spilled down his cheeks. “No matter what I do, or how I try to help, I keep fucking up TJ’s life. So, I give up. I’m done ruining my twin’s life.” Bucky closed his eyes again.

TJ looked stunned, he turned his head to look at his brother, “Bucky! You haven’t . . . you’ve never fucked up my life!”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky opened his eyes and painfully turned his head, misery lacing every word. “Because of me, you got stuck with Mom who went and killed herself and left you for dead. You should have been with dad. You’d have been mostly safe and happy. I get Rollins fired and he takes revenge by attacking us. My fault. And he’s a vicious dick! I didn’t stop Brock from going near you and he attacked you twice! And because of me, you got into incest, too. So, yeah, how is this not my fault?”

Elaine paled and looked towards Clint, who seemed impassive, fiddling with his right hearing aid.

“Guys,” Natasha said softly but firmly, “none of what happened was _either_ of your faults. You are _both_ victims. Stop this . . . you’re only hurting each other by blaming yourself.”

“TJ,” Steve leaned in close and whispered, “this is _Pierce’s_ fault. Politics or not, no one should be attacking anyone or threatening them. So, not you fault, not Bucky’s. Pierce’s. Rumlow’s. Rollins and his gang. These are the men to blame.”

Whimpering, a few tears streaking his cheeks, TJ nodded.

Elaine cleared her throat. “This entire _it’s my fault because’_ schtick is not working for me.” She glared at Bucky then at TJ. “An infant isn’t at fault for who keeps him or not. And all the rest? Does it really matter who was attacked for what reason? You’re both victims. And a victim doesn’t ask to be attacked. If anyone is to blame, it’s me . . . or Bud . . . but placing blame isn’t going to fix anything. So, let’s get to being productive and _solve_ this! Really,” she dropped her tone a bit, “we could have easily wound up with Bucky instead of TJ. Winifred just randomly picked up a twin when she walked out of the marriage. Neither picked a specific twin for God’s sake!” She shook her head.

TJ looked back at Bucky; he prayed that his twin wouldn’t end things between them because of the attack.

Bucky slowly opened his eyes, face filled with grief and guilt. “I’m . . . TJ’s so damn hurt . . . I can’t stand it when he hurts,” the words were a whimper.

“My God, James! You’re _twins_ , of course you feel each other’s pain. That’s pretty much scientific fact.” Elaine shook her head. “You said Rollins knew or guessed about your dates.”

“Oh, he _knew_ ,” Bucky changed to a growl. “Mentioned my getting him fired, too. No matter _why_ he was attacking, it was me he’d centered on.”

Elaine nodded and looked back at TJ. “And the men who mentioned a plot? Can you tell me more about that, Tommy?”

“Actually, TJ wasn’t really with it. I was the one who heard them say they weren’t hired to kill us, Aunt Elaine,” Bucky interrupted. “And yeah, he said the word _‘hired,’_ too.”

Grinning slightly, Elaine looked at Bud. “We’ve got him.”

Bud nodded, “I think so,” he looked at his son and then nephew, “you two rest. Heal. We’ll handle Rollins and Pierce.”

Nodding, Elaine petted TJ’s hand one last time then let go. “We’ll get secret service men to guard your house.”

“No fucking way!” Bucky burst out without thinking. “We are not living in a prison, Aunt Elaine!”

TJ’s eyes widened at Bucky’s outburst, he looked between his adoptive Mother and his twin, mouth dropping open and snapping shut.

“Bucky’s right,” Steve agreed, though in a more reasonable, softer tone. “We’ll handle our own house security, including a security system, but no bodyguards. We’re normal people, not celebrities or politicians.”

Elaine frowned, shooting a glare at Steve. Finally she said, “at least you’ll have a guard on this very unprotected and public hospital room. For now, you can have mine.” She strode to the hall to arrange the temporary change with her security men. Apparently the lives of the twins overrode her own safety. Steve and Bucky let that bit of control slide.

Bud nodded again and said his goodbyes to the twins before following his ex-wife out of the room to begin hunting down Rollins and his gang.

Anne walked over to kiss TJ’s head, right where Steve have found no injury, then kissed Bucky’s. “Do you want Doug and I to go make sure the house is secure while you’re here?”

“That would be great,” Natasha nodded, knowing Anne and Doug wanted to feel helpful in this scary, overwhelming situation.

Anne smiled. She took Doug’s hand and said, “we should get going, Doug. Let them rest.”

Doug nodded; he said goodbye to his brother and cousin before leading Anne out of the hospital room to head straight over to the house to do a security sweep.

Finally Nana came forward to squeeze TJ’s toes gently. She smiled. “Elaine fought George in court to get both of you. Get some sleep.” She threw a smile at Bucky then turned to catch up to the others.

TJ looked over at Bucky, pale eyes worried. He didn’t want Bucky feeling guilty for things he had no control over. “Buck . . . y - - you . . . okay?” TJ knew it was a stupid question but it wasn’t like he could hurry over to his twin’s side and comfort him like he’d normally do.

“No,” Bucky sighed, a near growl. “I’m gonna kill Rollins, and kill Rumlow, and for good measure, I’m killing Pierce twice!” He sounded more like Phil growling at dust bunnies than a serious threat to their enemies, especially with how sprained his weaker arm was. Apparently, Bucky knew it, too.

Natasha smiled softly, glad to see a small glimpse of Bucky finally breaking through, “and we’ll help you bury the bodies, my dear.”

“Good, cause I’ll need help finding spots to scatter the pieces in,” Bucky growled.

“Oh!,” Clint grinned. “And I can help you guys cover the evidence. I’m specially trained.” That earned a grim smile from Bucky.

Steve kissed TJ’s head. “I love you, TJ.”

“I love you, too,” TJ murmured back with a soft smile. He could already feel the drugs and the strain from his injury pulling him back under.

Bucky, too, finally gave into his exhaustion and pain medication, drifting into a doze. Steve watched both twins fall asleep then turned to Natasha and signaled her and Clint to the room’s bathroom. He walked in and left the door partly open.

Nodding, Natasha followed the muscular blond into the bathroom. Her stocky boyfriend eased in, taking a seat on the edge of the tub in the cramped confines.

“I think we’re going to have to get them counseling as soon as we can, Natasha. I can see TJ going right back to his shut-in behavior. And Bucky’s getting morose, almost self-abusive. The stress they’ve been under hasn’t helped. This attack came at the worst time!”

Sighing, Natasha nodded, “counseling would be great for both of them. I’ll be amazed if we’ll be able to get TJ out of the house once they are released. And Bucky . . . for him to even suggest getting a reclusive, at-home job really worries me.”

“I think we need to find a way to make TJ feel better outside, and Bucky will naturally follow. He’s never been a reclusive type before. TJ’s been abandoned as an infant, neglected as a child, and surrounded by guards, taking away most any threat, his whole life. It’s a wonder he hasn’t locked himself in completely, despite all our efforts. We need to invite some of TJ’s friends to the house when they’ve been released. Remind him that there’s good people out there. He likes Wade and Peter and May . . . and the Watsons.”

“I heard Wade and Peter finally got together,” Natasha nodded as if that piece of information was completely relevant to what they were talking about.

“Hey, that’s great.” Steve smiled widely. “TJ will be thrilled! He’s always agreed with me that those two belong together.”

Natasha nodded, “I know. And . . . maybe we can get Riley to come to the house for a few visits? Before we make TJ leave the house for appointments.”

“That’s TJ’s regular counselor, right?” Clint asked. “It’d be good for TJ to get some more time with the guy, especially if he’ll make house calls for a while.”

“I’ll talk to Sam and Riley about that,” Steve nodded. He sighed and let his head fall back against the wall. “God, TJ blames himself for so much, but none of it was in his control. Political children shouldn’t be made to feel like they had any say or fault in the threat that follows them. Makes me wonder if at some point TJ got in danger and his parents yelled at him about being foolish or stupid or something? Took the wrong approach, you know?”

Releasing a deep breath, Natasha nodded, “that would make sense. And Bucky blaming himself for Winfred taking TJ? Bucky has never been a _self-blame_ kind of guy.”

Steve sighed. “Actually, I think Bucky was pretty hurt by TJ’s inadvertent claim that he was the only member a criminal might not worry about. So, he sat there thinking of a retaliation. And he just let loose, trying to show TJ how _he_ was being self-blaming and not entirely realistic. Not my favorite approach, but I think Bucky doesn’t really blame himself. He was hurt by being told he was the family member left out . . . I know Bucky used to ask me what I thought it would be like to live with the Hammonds in those bright lights and smiling for the cameras all the time. He’s so damn social, he might be a bit jealous of TJ’s political youth.” Steve looked at his friends, running a hand across the back of his neck.

Clint snorted his disregard for public living but didn’t speak.

“Really?” Natasha seemed to think over Steve’s observation before nodding slowly. “How was he after TJ came out publically?”

“He didn’t seem bothered by the admission or the national publicity, but he did get a bit more . . . social, like he was trying to get more attention from the girls? He also, in no uncertain terms, told me he was straight. We had a rocky bit before our friendship pulled through from that.” Steve shook his head. “Did you know TJ overdosed accidentally on the same night Bucky got into that car accident?”

“You mean when Bucky just randomly passed out at the wheel?” Natasha looked surprised, “the doctors could never explain to him why he passed out.”

“Bucky’s medical report said he may have had a heart seizure, but the only way they could be sure was to open him up to see, and no one was doing that.” Steve shook his head.

“You think . . . he _felt_ TJ’s overdose?” Natasha asked.

“They’ve been connected since before birth, and some twins _can_ feel or respond to each other, even over great distance . . . even get similar illnesses. Many cases have shown up of twins dying within hours of each other in similar circumstances . . . even two car accidents hours and miles apart.” Steve looked at her.

“What day did TJ try and commit suicide?” Natasha questioned softly.

“Christmas,” Steve said.

“Christmas . . . three years ago?” Natasha looked surprised as she realized something.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “You found another link?”

Natasha nodded, “it was after you and Peggy had already left that night . . . we were getting ready for bed and Bucky said he was having a hard time breathing. Like something was suffocating him.”

“I didn’t know he went to the hospital,” Steve frowned.

“He didn’t,” Natasha conceded, “it was only for a few minutes before it passed and he felt better. He was really shook though.”

Steve shook his head. “I wonder if TJ felt it when George knocked Bucky unconscious that time,” he mused softly.

Clint ran his hands down his thighs but again stayed quiet, this time because he had little knowledge of either twin’s past.

Steve finally said, “Elaine said something last time that I think I have to agree with. If TJ and Bucky had been raised together, they probably wouldn’t have ever become incestuous. But being apart, and TJ’s need for constant contact, they took their brotherly love to another level.”

“I think they would have still found sexual love,” Clint interrupted at last. “Like I told TJ, sometimes you just love, and you’re driven to act on it. If they’d lived together, they’d probably have explored it a lot sooner. My parents did.” He met Steve’s surprised, then accepting, eyes.

Steve shook his head, offering a smile of reassurance to Clint. “Thing is, I like it. I love seeing them loving together. Weird?” He offered Natasha a soft smile as well.

“Not weird,” Clint said.

“They are beautiful together,” Natasha agreed.

“Is it weird I’m not the least bit jealous?” Steve continued to smile, attitude relaxed.

“No, you know what they have is different than what you and TJ have. It’s a different type of love that they share,” Natasha explained.

“Nope, what’s weird is how more people can’t seem to share their love so freely or openly,” Clint snorted again.

“They have more sex together than with either of us. Does that bother you, Natasha?” Steve asked softly. He knew she was divorcing Bucky, but the two still had regular sex . . . a fact which didn’t seem to bother Clint, either.

Natasha shook her head, “no, it doesn’t. I thought when they first started that they’d settle down after a few times together. But, it seems like the complete opposite.”

Nodding, Steve sighed, “you know I was always sick, saw a lot of doctors and specialists, as a kid? As a result, most of my anal nerves are messed up and I have no gag reflex. And, much as I enjoy penile stimulation, I don’t really crave it most of the time. I get sexually excited by watching TJ get excited. For me, the relationship with Bucky is the answer to a prayer. TJ is so sexual, and Bucky can relieve that for him without my interference. I was beginning to think TJ would doubt my love if I couldn’t perform for him all the time.” Steve grinned at Natasha. “Don’t get me wrong, I have a healthy enough libido, but I can’t keep up with TJ on my own?”

“Who can?” Clint laughed softly, eyes dancing.

“I don’t think _anyone_ could keep up with TJ on their own,” Natasha laughed sweetly, “he’s so stimulated by the simplest of touches. I mean, we’ve seen him cum untouched . . . which isn’t usually the easiest thing to accomplish.”

“I know. Peggy had mentioned it before, but I never reached that point. But he does it. Not with a simple touch, but with enough stimulation elsewhere. It’s actually beautiful to see.” Steve sighed, his body finally relaxing again. “I always had the feeling that half your sexual encounters with Bucky involved you making him get off on his own?” He gave Natasha a wicked smile.

Snorting, Natasha matched Steve’s wicked grin, “you think you’re the only person with a very _excitable_ boy?”

“No, I actually noticed it in Colorado. Whenever Bucky’s near TJ, even if they’re just sitting there eating and not even looking at each other, Bucky gets hard. I think he didn’t even realize just how sexual he was before TJ. And I’m sure he was hard to keep up with even before that.” Steve’s laugh was soft, trying not to wake the twins.

“You have no idea,” Natasha huffed playfully, leaning against the wall, “TJ is a blessing.”

“It’s one of the reasons I very quickly buried my feelings against incest, actually,” Steve sighed. “I wasn’t always so accepting, but these two seem . . . beyond the societal norms?”

“It was like they were made to be like this, right?” Natasha nodded.

“Exactly.” Steve laughed again. “I actually have trouble picturing them as regular twins who only hug and stuff. Seems such a shame, a waste of their love. But, I _am_ glad they can’t get each other pregnant. That seems a bit . . . overboard?”

“And would lead to so much stigma for the kid, too,” Clint agreed on a sigh.

“I agree,” Natasha agreed, though she offered a glance to Clint, “like I said . . . they were made for each other.”

“Natasha, do you see it, too? I think Bucky’s afraid of anal because of the _gay_ stigma, but he’s leaning further and further to wanting to explore that side of his sensuality? Think we can get him there, at least enough to see if he likes it?”

“I think so,” she nodded, looking thoughtful, “it might take some time but I think we’ll be able to work past that fear.

Clint nodded his agreement, though once again refrained from speaking his thoughts out loud on a subject he was so unfamiliar with such as Bucky’s sensuality.

After a few seconds passed, Steve softly asked, “think we can keep them from any more torture by Pierce?” His smile finally dropped.

“I think so, Pierce overstepped with this latest attack. He has too many people that know he ordered the hit. Plus,” Natasha sighed and her green eyes flashed, “he was an idiot for wanting to keep the twins alive.”

“Yeah, and that chills me to the bone,” Steve growled softly. “How easily they could have been killed, even before Becca came upon them.”

“And to get, what, seven guys? That’s a lot of people who know what’s going on. That’s real risky, unless this Pierce didn’t know his stooge let others in on the attack.”

“The police suspect the attack lasted for close to twenty minutes,” Natasha shook her head, thinking of the horror the twins had been put through. “The video cameras at the motel only caught bits and pieces of the attack.”

“But any footage is a nail in the coffin of that gang,” Steve grunted. He turned towards the door, listening. Opening the barrier he watched the night nurse, whom they’d already been introduced to, checking TJ’s IV and the twins’ vital signs and charting the information. She turned her head and smiled. “Most people go to the hall or waiting room to talk, not the bathroom.” She looked amused.

“We aren’t most people,” Natasha quipped.

“We might not even be people,” Clint quipped, though too softly for the nurse to hear.

“I can tell,” the nurse nodded. “They’ll be able to go home tomorrow if nothing goes wrong. We’re just keeping them for bleeding and concussion and stuff. Observation. They're really very strong young men.”

Steve nodded. “Are you giving them medicine?”

The nurse shook her head. “Nothing beyond the IV. If they're sleeping normally, there’s no reason to give them drugs for sleep or pain. We’ll just keep monitoring and then, when they’re awake, we’ll worry about pain. Hospitals are not about sedating at every turn, after all. That’s just the movies.” She smiled and placed the chart back on the foot of Bucky’s bed then worked on TJ’s.

Softly, Natasha said, “the police asked if I wanted to see the video . . . I said no. I don’t think I could see that. Did they ask you?”

“No. Until you mentioned it, I didn’t know it existed,” Steve frowned. He watched the nurse put back TJ’s chart and leave the room. “I know he’s just doing his normal job, but I don’t like this Jersey cop. He’s . . . so rough with TJ.”

“He doesn’t know how to handle . . . a rape victim. It takes a very special type of cop,” Natasha nodded her agreement, giving a soft smile to her boyfriend.

“Like Clint?” Steve walked over to check on his sleeping husband then smiled and kissed him softly on the head. He straightened and led Natasha back to the bathroom so they could still talk.

Clint shrugged but accepted the compliments, wishing there were more people like him to help victims. Most cops cared, but not enough were specifically trained.

“Yeah . . . though I am very curious as to why they offered for me to watch the video and not you. Your husband was also a victim,” Natasha frowned.

“They know I’m a victim of gang rape?” Steve bitterly said, eliciting a surprised frown from Clint.

“No one, aside from the people you’ve told, know that, Steve,” she said softly, still frowning.

“Right, I forgot. It just seems like the entire world knows I couldn’t tell a friend from an enemy and . . .” he took a deep breath, reminding himself that the rape wasn’t _his_ fault, just like TJ wasn’t to blame for Rumlow. “Maybe they think I’ll get all macho and try to kill the attackers, vigilante style?”

“Would you want to watch the video, Steve?” Natasha asked, watching for Steve’s reaction.

“I don’t want to ever see TJ hurt or terrorized, especially enough to make him panic so bad he knocks himself senseless. Is there a reason for me to watch it?” He frowned.

Natasha shrugged, “some people like to know exactly what happened. Makes them feel better equipped to help. Like I said, I said no.”

Shaking his head, Steve said, “the two had the living hell scared out of them. They so easily could have died. I don’t need to see that unless TJ _needs_ me to see it for him. I . . .” he looked at Natasha, “I wouldn’t want anyone to see the security footage from _my_ rape, after all.”

“They have your rape on camera?” Natasha’s eyes widened as Clint winced.

Nodding, Steve rubbed his neck, hard. His other hand clenched. “Yeah. I got the _pleasure_ of watching it during my private disciplinary counseling,” he growled out in bitter sarcasm.

“And they still didn’t believe you?” Natasha shook her head.

“Oh, they couldn’t deny the rape, Natasha. They _blamed me_ for it,” Steve ground out.

“Were the men ever tried?” Natasha asked.

“No,” Steve sighed and his shoulders finally slumped. “They weren’t disciplined. I was given severance pay, if you will . . . hush money, which I refused. But they wrote down that it was offered, not that I didn’t take it. I was given a discharge, and told that I should never have told anyone I was gay.” Steve laughed bitterly. “I guess it didn’t matter if I liked women, too. I liked men and that was a crime. And if I was committing a crime, it must be my fault for enticing them. Can’t be rape if I enticed them, can it? So, according to the official records, I was caught in a compromising position and let go.”

A blaze of anger lit Clint’s grey-blue eyes and his fists clenched. He couldn’t do anything about a military crime, but to hear that yet another victim had been accused of the crime, been told it was _his fault_ pissed Clint off more than anything.

Natasha shook her head, looking angry at the injustice Steve had gone through.

Steve shook his head. “And then they took the information about one of our missions and twisted it, I can only assume to keep me quiet. A rumor started that I killed my own platoon because one of them was gay and they were defending him.” Steve hugged himself as he relayed his sordid history.

“That doesn’t make any sense. If you had done that, you’d be in prison,” Natasha said.

“Right, which is why it’s only a rumor that was spread. But tell me, Natasha,” he looked at her with miserable blue eyes, “do people generally ignore rumors in favor of logic?”

“No, I guess they don’t,” Natasha sighed.

“Knew they’d get rightfully blamed for mishandling things f they did try to throw you away,” Clint growled low.

“Seven years I kept that buried,” Steve said as Clint sighed. “My dirty secret. But,” Steve glanced at the partially open door, “TJ’s pain, because of Rumlow, made me face it so I could help TJ. I started counseling and I think I’ve come some way, between TJ’s encouragement and Riley’s logic and compassion. I hope I can do the same for him after this latest attack. Why do they always have to target TJ? Mean as it sounds, can’t they attack Doug or Anne or one of the others? Not physically, but . . . you know.”

“TJ’s the _vulnerable_ one. Anyone with eyes can see his desire to please and they take advantage of that. He’s also the one with the most . . . mistakes? He was a drug addict for _years_ , Steve. When people see Doug, or Anne, they see two people who were raised right, are strong, independent and have their lives put together. When they look at TJ, they see a troubled, desperate man looking for love. Which of the three, if you wanted to target the Hammonds, would you choose as an easy target, Steve?” Natasha explained softly.

“Huh, the easy target’s not the way to tear down an enemy. That’s cannon fodder and no big consequence. Look at it, Natasha. If TJ self destructs, only a handful of us really care. If Doug has a dirty secret exposed, the head of Elaine’s campaign comes down. If Anne? Well, surely Doug knew about her secrets so must be in on it. Don’t you see? Pierce is being an idiot going for TJ.” Steve eyes opened wider. “While he keeps us focused on putting out fires for TJ, he’s probably building a bigger threat against Doug or Anne or even Bud . . . my God, have we been playing into his hands all this time?” Steve pulled out his phone.

“Who are you calling?” Natasha asked.

“Elaine,” Steve said. “And I plan to wake her up.” He began dialing.


	23. Political Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. We are slowly trying to get more of our regular stories back on track as the Big Bang progresses.
> 
> **Warnings: PTSD triggers: discussion of Steve's rape**

Steve opened the door wide and turned to carefully wrap his arm around TJ’s waist, very aware of his husband’s pounding headache. They still had to figure a way for the twins to make it to Elaine’s political Thanksgiving in a week and a half without panicking, but for now, just having them home from the hospital was enough for Steve. He guided his lover to the couch and eased him down. “Need pain meds, baby?” he asked, knowing TJ’d been avoiding taking them even at the hospital.

TJ winced, hissing slightly as he sat down. He looked up at Steve and shook his head, immediately regretting moving his head, “no . . . I’m okay. Pain’s not too bad.”

Squatting down, Steve placed his hands on TJ’s thighs carefully. “But this isn’t good pain, TJ, and I promise not to give you a lot. Just enough to help you relax. Half a dose.”

Chewing his bottom lip, TJ looked apprehensive, but his head hurt _so bad_.

“You can refuse, baby, if you really want,” Steve softened his voice.

“Y - - you won’t let me . . . get addicted?” TJ asked.

Smiling, Steve said, “I didn’t bring any narcotics home from the hospital, actually. Just the Tylenol and Motrin.” He waited for that to sink in.

“Oh,” TJ nodded slowly, trying not to make his head hurt more, “okay . . . just a little?”

“I’ll give you half a dose, baby, and if you need more we can consider it. Does that sound good?” Steve smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” TJ said.

“Bastard wouldn’t let Nat bring home _my_ narcotics, either,” Bucky grumbled, “So, I wanna full dose, thank you.”

Natasha laughed softly; she helped Bucky ease down on the couch next to his brother, “you can have a full dose, dear.”

“Thank you,” Bucky grinned and slid his right arm carefully around his twin. “I don’t want TJ to get tempted, either, but I hurt like hell.” He jerked his chin towards his left arm, still trussed up against his body.

TJ leaned against Bucky’s body, not pressing his whole weight or curling up like he’d normally do. His body was aching for his twin’s touch and anything he could get would help. His head throbbed and he wished it would stop _hurting_. He couldn’t seem to get comfortable no matter how hard he tried.

Steve produced water and meds for both twins, only one pill for TJ but two for Bucky. He watched TJ drink down his share while Natasha had to help her husband since his only free arm was wrapped possessively around his brother. “So, Elaine wasn’t happy about us refusing her security detail.”

TJ huffed, making him wince slightly, “No, Momma doesn’t like to be told no.”

Nodding, Steve pulled out his phone and handed it to TJ after a couple of swipes. “She said she didn’t see why since she’s had one on every member of the family for years. Here’s the one she had watching Bucky for the past four years.” The image was of a very large, familiar blond man from the Academy.

“Thor?” TJ looked shocked, “since when was he a secret service member? I thought he taught at the school?”

“Since Madame Secretary wanted a protection detail on her nephew without telling him,” Steve shrugged. “I guess he did his job well blending in.

Blinking, TJ let that sink in; he looked up at Bucky, “well, I guess you were part of the Hammond circle after all baby brother.”

Bucky actually let out a small sob and buried his face carefully into TJ’s neck. Apparently he’d really taken to heart what TJ had said in the hospital.

“However,” Steve stood and walked towards the next room. “I did let her recommend a security service to install our systems.” Steve signaled to someone in the other room then turned and led him back into the living room.

The man, shorter than most everyone else in the room, stepped forward and cleared his throat. He was dressed in an expensive suit, not that usually worn by the security staff but more like a movie star or high paid politician. “Tony Stark,” he claimed, “of Stark Securities. I’ve gone over the entire house and grounds and have a lot of changes we’re going to be making to your obscene lack of security.”

“Stark?” TJ pondered over that name for a few moments.

“Yes, same Stark Securities that helped up security at the White House when you were there as a rambunctious kid obsessed with piano and having fun,” Stark informed him with a grin.

“Wait . . . are you Howard’s son? He talked about you . . . said you went to MIT,” TJ looked up at the smaller man.

Nodding Tony affirmed, “yup. That’s me. MIT and lots of other things. Real big on robotics and security. You’ll forgive me not shaking hands. Don’t touch people. My assistant, Pepper, will be up soon. She’s in that wonderfully inventive basement you have cataloguing additional security that won’t interfere with your private play.”

Steve flushed brightly but didn’t say anything, merely stepping behind TJ and the couch to stroke TJ’s shoulders gently.

TJ carefully moved to tuck his legs under him as he nuzzled into Steve’s hand, his body pressing a little bit firmer into Bucky’s side. He knew Steve was making a point of touching him as much as possible, making sure TJ didn’t become starved for it.

Tony watching, his eyes appearing intrigued. Finally, he said, “Did you know there’s a political smear going around claiming you’re in an incestuous relationship?” He shrugged. “But I find it fascinating that France and Belgium have legalized incest and Switzerland and Sweden are considering it.” Tony turned for the kitchen. “I’ll get my notes.”

“Wanna move to France?” TJ murmured softly, a small smile tugging on his lips.

Bucky snickered. “If we gotta, I can do the French thing.” He stroked his hand gently down TJ’s shoulder, careful but still touching.

Mewling softly, TJ ducked his head to nuzzle against Bucky’s neck. In the hospital they hadn’t been able to touch each other very much and he loved the way his twin’s fingers felt against his skin.

Tony came back out, carrying a tablet and a tray of drinks: soda and water. He placed the tray on the coffee table and headed for the dungeon door. “Pep? Done? They’re here.”

A tall, well put together woman came up from the basement and nodded, “all done. I have some ideas for security down there.”

“And my idea?” Tony prompted without bothering to introduce her around, “digging in and making a panic room?”

“It’d work. That’s something the homeowner would have to approve of first, though,” Pepper answered.

Stark rolled his eyes and looked directly at TJ, not Steve. “So, panic room off your play room?” He asked.

“I’m not the homeowner,” TJ muttered.

Steve coughed, looking a bit sheepish, “well, technically, baby, you are. I put the house in your name.”

“What?” TJ straightened, causing him to hiss and wince at the fast movement, “why?”

“Because for once, TJ Rogers, _you_ own something of your own. No strings, just love, and you can have ultimate say on anything or anyone that comes here.”

“But . . .” TJ looked puzzled, “I - - I didn’t pay . . . _you_ did, Steve.”

“No,” Steve shook his head and came around to kneel in front of his husband and gently take his hands. “ _We_ paid. When I married you, all my assets and belongings became _ours_. So, yeah, you paid, too.” He smiled happily. Steve had always believed in full shared assets for his marriage: a bit old fashioned by some standards, especially without a prenuptial agreement in case of divorce. Steve didn’t believe in divorce.

“I - - I . . .” TJ frowned, he looked at Bucky and then back at Steve, “you . . . didn’t tell me?”

Steve sighed. “Maybe I should have discussed it, but I actually assumed you would know that everything that’s mine is your’s, TJ.”

“Oh . . . uh . . .” TJ looked at Tony and Pepper.

“Don’t have to have a panic room,” Tony shrugged, “but if people are spying on you and jumping you, I thought you might like the idea of a safe spot to hide out, fully stocked and with direct contact with emergency services.”

“Um . . . okay? I - - I guess a panic room is fine,” TJ murmured.

Tony frowned, narrowing his eyes, and slowly said, “don’t have to decide right now, either. Because of where I wanna put it, you can decide later and it won’t interfere. We can install it if you want later on. Not like when first building a house or putting it upstairs or something.” He apparently sensed something was wrong for TJ but Tony couldn’t pinpoint it.

“Wanna talk about it later, baby?” Steve asked. “We can decide later?”

TJ nodded, leaning his head back on Bucky’s shoulder.

Still watching his husband, Steve said, “Tony, Pepper, any decisions on the house should come to me, okay? TJ’s not to be bothered about the details.”

Pepper nodded, typing something down on the tablet in her hands, “okay, Steve. We’ll come to you from now on, right, Tony?”

“Course, you’re the boss,” Tony said, not clarifying his statement. He gestured towards the drinks. “Go ahead, drink up guys. Mind if we talk with you, Steve, right, in front of TJ, or is that disallowed?”

“No, that’s fine,” Steve said. He smiled up at TJ.

TJ hummed softly, returning a smile for his husband. He nuzzled Bucky’s neck again, breathing in his twin’s unique scent. He wanted to get the security discussions done so they could be left alone.

Tony jumped right in, and within a hour the plans were set, including building an apartment over the garage to house guests. There were no suggestions of adding staff. Tony arranged for external security to be the first thing addressed. Tony finally stood. “We have lots to do. We’ll be in touch.”

Steve nodded. “Sure, thanks.”

The pair left, Clint closing the door behind him, never once addressed by the security team during the hour interview. He walked to the others and slipped his arms around Natasha from behind, leaning over her chair to drop a kiss to her head.

Finally, Steve slipped his arms carefully under his husband’s body and lifted him easily, gently. “Gonna bring you down stairs to sleep, baby. You and Bucky need some cuddle time, I think.” He smiled at his husband and kissed him on the uninjured cheek.

“Love you, Steve,” TJ murmured, laying his head on Steve’s strong shoulder.

“And I love you so much, my TJ,” Steve murmured right back. He smiled over to Natasha then carried his lover down to settled on the comfortable resting bed they had for after scenes.

Bucky heaved a sigh and let Natasha help him get up. He picked up the tray of drinks Tony had provided and balanced it carefully in one hand as he headed towards their dungeon playroom.

Natasha grabbed the tray effortlessly, “use the railing to help you stay balanced, my dear,” she ordered gently.

Clint straightened and followed the group, still silently.

With a thankful grin, Bucky obediently grabbed the rail and eased down the stairs, his left arm screaming protests at the movements. Once downstairs, he took a few deep breaths then headed over to the bed to sink down next to TJ. Bucky rolled onto his right side and kissed TJ’s shoulder. “Heya, brother mine.”

Humming, TJ pressed against Bucky’s side as much as he could. He carefully tucked his body around his brother’s, laying his head against Bucky’s chest.

Rolling back, Bucky made moans and grunts as he painfully shunted as close as he could get, his right arm sliding under TJ’s shoulders. “Love my big brother,” Bucky breathed on a sigh as he finally settled, the throbbing of his sprained arm at least dulled by his meds.

“I love you, baby brother,” TJ said softly, settling down on the mattress, “missed this.”

“Yeah, this is the best, TJ, even better than sex . . . and that’s saying something,” he chuckled, turning his head to kiss TJ’s jaw.

Humming his agreement, TJ turned his head so it lay on Bucky’s shoulder. “Don’t ever wanna leave, Buck. You’ll stay with me?”

A muffled yip came from the foot of the bed, on the floor. Steve turned and grinned, picking up Phil, with Luna in his mouth, and settled the two on the bed. Fortunately, Phil was content merely to flop at their feet and just be with his humans. Very shortly after Sascha jumped up and got comfortable by Bucky’s head, purring. Steve pulled over a hard bondage chair and sank down without worrying about the lack of cushions. He put his hand on TJ’s foot and squeezed lightly.

With a contented sigh, TJ let his eyes close and he drifted off within a few minutes.

Only an hour passed before TJ started to whimper and squirm in his sleep. Bucky jolted awake with a small cry and looked at his twin, pain coursing through his arm. He’s only just started to drift off.

Steve frowned and softly called out, “TJ? Baby? Captain’s here.”

TJ seemed stuck in whatever nightmare he was having; his whimpers got louder and his movements looked more like a man trying to get away from someone holding him down than a man sleeping next to his brother.

“TJ!” Steve barked, “you’ll hurt Bucky! Stop moving!” He lurched over to pull Bucky away from TJ. He glanced to Natasha.”I don’t know if I should touch TJ . . .”

Natasha watched the twins, she stepped up to TJ’s side of the bed and as soon as she knew Steve had gotten Bucky a safe distance away, she called out in a gentle but firm tone, “come on, little one. Come back to us. You’re safe.” She didn’t touch TJ as she continued to repeat the words over and over again.

Clint took the initiative to reach down and begin stroking TJ’s uninjured cheek very softly, like stroking a kitten. “C’mon, honey, come back.”

TJ gasped and lurched awake, causing him to cry out when the movement jarred his throbbing head.

Steve circled around to TJ’s side and crooned, “TJ, I’m here, pet. You’re safe. Just breathe for me. Breathe, baby.” He carefully stroked TJ’s arm.

Sobbing, TJ cried out, “they were making me watch! I - - I couldn’t do anything!”

“Yeah, I know, baby. But you’re safe now. Both of you are safe now,” Steve reassured him.

TJ looked over at his twin, his eyes finally beginning to clear from the panic of waking from the horrible nightmare.

Bucky watched him with wide eyes. “Teej? You okay, brother mine?”

“I’m sorry! I - - I couldn’t . . .” TJ continued to cry.

“Sorry? For having a nightmare?” Bucky scooted closer again and slid his arm back around TJ. “I’ve been having them nonstop, too, TJ. It’s normal.”

Curling into Bucky’s side, despite his head aching in protest, TJ whimpered and cried. “I - - I couldn’t stop them . . . I’m sorry! Th - - they kept hurting you! I’m sorry!”

“And I couldn’t stop them from hurting you in my dreams, TJ, so no blame. Lesson seven, sick gets a free pass, right? It was seven to two, those odds would overwhelm anyone.” Bucky kissed TJ’s neck. “We got real lucky they had trouble with doors.”

“I’m sorry,” TJ kept repeating over and over again, it wasn’t clear what exactly he apologized for anymore. He just kept saying the words like a mantra.

“Uh oh,” Steve said softly, “looks like we need an intervention TJ cuddle! Everyone grab an uninjured area and proceed to cuddle!” Steve kissed TJ’s shoulder as Bucky kissed his neck. Natasha came up on the bed and stroked TJ’s legs. Clint remained by TJ’s head but reached down to stroke the man’s shoulders towards his pecs.

After several minutes, TJ finally began to calm down, his sobs dying off into hiccups.

His husband smiled gently at him. “That’s better, pet. Feeling more in control? Nightmares are a bitch.” He kissed again.

“C - - couldn’t . . . do - - anything,” TJ whimpered.

Nodding, Steve stroked TJ’s head, carefully of the bandaged areas. “We know, baby, we know. No one’s upset with _you_. It’s wasn’t your fault.” Steve kissed and Bucky did, too, reminding TJ that they were there and loved him.

TJ’s body continued to tremble and eventually his hiccups died off as well. Despite the pain in his head from the crying and nightmare, the smaller brunet actually managed to fall asleep again. His body exhausted from coming home and then the trauma of a nightmare.

Unfortunately, the next nightmare came in the form of Bucky sitting straight up and screaming at the top of his lungs, inadvertently jostling TJ. The screams were so loud it jolted Steve from his book and to their side and even brought Clint running over from the dungeon bathroom, clutching his pants around his hips.

Natasha immediately rushed over to her husband’s side and began petting his head, careful to avoid the injured shoulder, “James, it’s okay. Come on, my dear. It’s okay . . . you’re at home. You and TJ are safe.”

Steve eased TJ away from Bucky and cooed to his husband, fishing out his next half dose of meds since it had been long enough.

Bucky looked around, pure horror on his face, until he spotted TJ safe in Steve’s arms. Finally, Bucky shuddered and seemed to shrink down into the bed. “I couldn’t get away and I heard him screaming . . .” he explained on a shuddering whine, “and he just dropped down . . . like he died.”

“I know, but you two got out, you’re both safe now,” Natasha continued to sooth Bucky, shooting a worried glance over to Steve. Bucky had been having nightmares every time he went to sleep.

“Clint,” Steve said softly, “on the kitchen board is a list of contact numbers. There’s one for Sam and Riley Wilson. Call them. Ask if Riley can come help TJ and Bucky today.”

Nodding, the smaller blond turned and ran back up the stairs to call the ROTC teacher and his counselor husband.

TJ looked at Bucky; he didn’t even register his aching head from being jostled awake. He watched his twin with wide eyes. “Buck? It’s okay . . . we’re okay now.”

Nodding, Bucky reached out his right hand to touch TJ’s arm. “Yeah, just a bad dream. A memory. Not happening right now,” he said though he still shuddered from the after effects. “Love you, TJ! I really love you!” Bucky looked at his twin. “We’ll be okay.”

“I love you, Buck,” TJ nodded, smiling softly, “we’ll be okay.”

**************

A week and a half passed by; both TJ and Bucky still suffered from nightmares and they were still healing from their injuries. It seemed like the attack brought them closer together, making it nearly impossible to separate the two of them.

Natasha and Steve had already packed for their weekend trip to DC. It had been a little hard with Steve having to start work so shortly after the attack, but between Bucky, Clint and Natasha they were able to keep TJ calm while Steve went to work.

Steve walked down to the dungeon, where the twins had been sleeping since they’d returned from the hospital. It had been Steve’s idea. The climb up and down the stairs would give the pair exercise, even if it felt like torture sometimes. Also, it was a very comfortable bed, being firm but piled with comforters and soft pillows. They could control the softness of the bed for the men. However, Steve had already let them know that as soon as they were well enough to be cleared by doctors, they were going back to sleeping in their regular rooms and playing with each other. He’d laughed when he said it, but he meant it. TJ was _his_ husband, and Steve wanted to be the one to sleep beside him most nights even if he was relieved Bucky took the lion’s share of direct sex.

Arriving at the basement level, Steve looked over. “Ready? Happy’s going to dive us in a limousine. That’s Tony’s driver.”

TJ shook his head, still on the bed, though Bucky had been convinced to get dressed, “I don’t want to go.” The bruising on his head and face had turned a deep purple as the injury healed.

Sinking onto the bed, Steve frowned. “Why?” he asked calmly.

“I want to stay here,” TJ murmured; Natasha, Clint, and Steve had barely been able to coax the lean brunet out into the backyard with Riley’s help. TJ hadn’t been able to step out the front door since coming home from the hospital.

“You don’t want to go?” Steve asked, glancing over as Bucky struggled to dress himself around his strapped arm. “Why?”

“Safe here,” TJ murmured, looking at his husband.

“Not safe in the limousine?” Steve asked, eyes widening slightly. “Even with the security men Elaine sent to escort us?”

“Not safe anywhere but here,” TJ explained; despite working nearly every day with Riley, TJ had seemed to fall back into his fears of leaving his home.

Steve nodded, thinking things out seriously, weighing everything. Finally, he said, “get up and get dressed in your tuxedo, TJ.” Steve stood and headed towards the bookshelf.

Sitting up, TJ watched Steve closely, “but I don’t . . .”

“I said,” Steve glanced over, frowning, “get dressed.”

Whimpering, TJ slowly stood up; his head still hurt like hell but it was a little better than it had been a week and a half ago.

Steve moved back over, carrying a jeweler’s box, containing the one collar and leash TJ had never used. “I think you’ve gone without a collar for far too long, pet. Forgot lesson two.” He set the box on the bed and helped TJ to switch into his tuxedo.

“But - - Steve, I’m . . . I don’t want to go,” TJ tried again, though he didn’t stop Steve from helping him into the tux.

“Lesson one,” Steve ordered calmly as he left off the tuxedo tie but straightened his husband’s cummerbund.

“Steve Rogers owns TJ Rogers,” the lean brunet muttered.

“Is TJ Rogers sick of being owned by Steve?” the blond asked.

“N - - no, sir!” TJ’s eyes widened and he looked over to Bucky.

Bucky offered a supportive smile but didn’t interfere with his brother and brother-in-law.

Steve nodded and opened the box, revealing the beautiful pearl collar and leash. He carefully fastened the collar around TJ’s neck then hooked the leash on the collar. “Good, then you will obey me. We are going to your mother’s party. You will stay beside me and obey and _no one_ will dare touch you,” he said firmly.

Whimpering again, TJ nodded, “y - - yes, sir. Y - - you’ll keep me . . . safe.”

“Yes, as long as you stay close, I will keep you safe.” Steve nodded. “Good boy. Now, let’s go get in the limousine. Bucky, Natasha, you first.”

Natasha nodded and guided Bucky up the stairs, ahead of Steve and TJ. She lead her soon-to-be ex-husband out of the home and into the waiting limousine. Clint smiled and kissed her cheek. “I’ll hold down the fort and watch the pets and Pepper,” he said, intimating that Tony was a pet.

Steve kissed TJ on the lips. “Who takes care of TJ?”

“S - - Steve,” TJ whimpered, pale eyes wide with fear.

“And who loves TJ?” Steve asked as he led his husband up the steps.

“Steve,” TJ said softly, not fighting against his husband as Steve led him up the basement stairs and through the living area.

Guiding his husband out the back door into the familiar, comfortable yard, Steve asked, “who else loves TJ?” He led his husband towards the garage.

“B - - Bucky? Natasha? Clint?” TJ swallowed as Steve led him to the garage door.

“Good boy,” Steve agreed. He nodded to Happy and handed his husband into the waiting silver stretch vehicle. Steve slid in beside his lover and leaned over to kiss him. “Comfortable?” he asked as the door shut securely, the tinted windows preventing people ogling them.

TJ looked around and whimpered again, shrugging softly as he settled back against the seat.

Bucky reached over and stroked TJ’s thigh. “Heya, brother mine. If we weren’t going to Aunt Elaine’s party, I’d fuck you right here. Gotta do that for our first date night.”

Smiling softly, eyes flickering to look at Bucky, TJ mewled, “I - - I miss you, Buck.”

Nodding, Bucky grinned wider. “Yeah, but every day we heal and get stronger. Soon, a few more weeks, and we can go for it as hard as we like.” He stroked TJ’s leg softly again. “You look hot in those pearls. Wanna do you in this limo, with those pearls, and a fur coat under us.”

Keening softly, TJ squirmed in his seat; he hadn’t been with _anyone_ since the attack, his head aching too much to have any form of sex; Riley had called it psychosomatic. Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Natasha had been showering him with touches to keep him satisfied but he wanted intimate contact.

“Natasha, your husband is teasing mine. He’s gonna hurt my pet.” Steve tugged very gently on the pearls and smiled softly at TJ.

“James, dear, don’t start something you can’t finish,” Natasha purred, stroking her hand down Bucky’s right arm.

Bucky sighed and nodded. “Okay. I’ll behave . . . for now.” He winked at his twin.

They spent the four hours of the drive to DC comfortable and lightly teasing one another. Finally, they arrived and the car pulled up, slowing, to it’s destination. Steve waited for Happy to open the door before sliding out and turning to TJ. “TJ? Come on, pet.” He offered a hand at the same time as giving the leash a soft tug.

Eyes flickering nervously between Steve and the open door, TJ slowly scooted where Steve tugged him and took his husband’s hand. He stepped out and sighed in relief when he saw that they were in an underground garage; there were no cameras or loud paparazzi shouting questions.

“Who takes care of TJ?” Steve prompted with a loving smile.

“Steve Rogers,” TJ smiled softly; though he still looked nervous, he was relatively calm. He was grateful that he didn't have to deal with the usual craziness that came with arriving at one of his adoptive Mother’s political parties.

Steve leaned over and kissed TJ. “We’re going up to say hello and hang around the family rooms, pet. And, maybe I’ll let you talk to some of the guests. And no talking to anyone unless I say. You’re here because I _let_ you come, pet.” Steve led his husband, the leash loose but a definite connection between them, to the private elevator.

With Steve leading him on the leash, TJ felt safer, calmer. He loved how Steve _knew_ how to make him feel better, even the simple fact that it would only be by Steve's _permission_ that he'd be allowed to talk to anyone else grounded him. _Steve Rogers owns TJ Rogers,_ and TJ would have it no other way.

They came out of the elevator into a back hall, Happy walking ahead of them rather than behind. Steve had discussed what they wanted for protection with the driver and Elaine’s chosen guard ahead of time. Thor, Elaine’s choice, came from behind, while Happy led the foursome. When they arrived at the main hall, Steve softly said, “which is the family parlor, TJ?”

TJ gestured to a door on their left with a tilt of his chin, “that's the family parlor, sir.”

“Good boy,” Stevee complimented. “Happy, the parlor. No interviews or reporters, please?”

With a nod, the security driver led the way, parting the few guests. Some people took pictures, but other secret servicemen came forward to prevent anyone getting really close. Finally, the six made it to Elaine’s private parlor, where Nana was already standing, drink in hand. She smiled. “TJ, Bucky, come in and have a seat. Elaine’s agreed that you’re too injured to run the gauntlet. Anyone important enough will be brought in here.”

Steve led TJ to a couch and sat down. “Sit, pet,” he commanded softly. “Beside me. Natasha, there’s another couch near us if you’d like to sit?” The way he had them positioned, Bucky and TJ wouldn’t inadvertently start touching each other.

TJ immediately complied and sat close to Steve. Natasha nodded and led Bucky to the other couch, purposely separating the twins for the first time in nearly two weeks.

Bucky allowed it though he shot a smile to TJ. They knew the reasons for the minor physical separation. He sank to the couch beside his wife and put a hand on her thigh, close to the knee.

Anne walked in and over to them, greeting all four with smiles and hugs, gentle for TJ, who was not permitted to stand, causing Anne to bend over into the hug. She moved to a chair and sank down. “Dinner will be soon, but really not many people are staying. Elaine made a proclamation that she needed to concentrate on her family since the attack. Mainly people will show up _after_ dinner.”

TJ nodded, nuzzling up against Steve's side. He didn't speak since Steve had told him that he'd give him permission to speak to the other guests, and family or not, Anne was still another guest.

Steve smiled. “Good. TJ, get up and mingle, but don’t you leave this room. If you have to relieve yourself, you come back and tell me. Go give your Nana a hug first.” He unclipped the leash.

“Yes, sir,” TJ said softly and slowly stood. He made his way over to his grandmother and smiled sweetly, “hey, Nana.”

“Hey, sweetie. Steve did say he’d find a way to get you here once he found out Elaine canceled the big dinner. It’ll be family and a couple of close friends of Elaine’s and your father’s that you’ll be familiar with.” She hugged him gently, aware of his injured head. “Did he have to fight too hard to bring you?” The woman acted like the leash and obvious orders were perfectly natural.

TJ shrugged, “took some convincing . . . I - - I have a hard time feeling safe . . .”

“I would, too,” she snorted. Reaching out slowly, so as not to inadvertently spook her grandson, Nana touched his collar. “Are those the pearls he bought you for your wedding? Absolutely stunning! And Elaine thought you’d wear your other collar.”

Grinning, extending his neck slightly so she could get a better look, TJ hummed, “aren't they?”

“Tommy, you made it,” Elaine sounded relieved and pleased, walking in the door and leaving the non-family behind in the hall. She walked over and hugged her adoptive son gently. “You look wonderful.”

“Thanks, Momma,” TJ smiled softly as he returned the gentle hug. “You look great, too.”

She stepped back to let Bud get his hands on their son. “Are you wearing pearls?” She frowned then sighed and let it go.

After Bud gave TJ a quick, careful hug, TJ looked at Elaine, “yeah, Steve got them for me as a wedding gift. Pretty, aren't they?”

She allowed Doug to get past her as she said, “well, you pull them off well.” She moved to hug Bucky, who rose with difficulty with one arm strapped. Elaine smiled at Natasha then Steve. “I’ve arranged for the dinner to be intimate, and the main political Thanksgiving will be afterwards. You are welcome to attend if you’re up to it.” She offered a smile towards TJ; no matter how she used her family, she really did care.

TJ looked over at Steve; he didn't want to stay for the political portion.

“Thank you, Elaine,” Steve said smoothly. “We’ll see how things go before committing. TJ are you enjoying your family time, baby?”

“Yes, sir,” the petname slipped without TJ even thinking about the fact that Elaine had never heard him call Steve _sir_ before.

Elaine frowned but, again, let it go. She said, “Anne is expecting in July.”

Anne flushed, happily, at the revelation of her pregnancy.

Natasha smiled at Elaine, “a new addition to the family. You must be very excited, Elaine.”

“Actually, I am,” she laughed, relaxing for the moment with her family. “TJ, do you and Steve have plans to adopt?”

“Not soon. We want children, but right now we’re concentrating on each other. Newlyweds and all,” Steve answered smoothly for his husband, eliciting a frown from Elaine.

She turned to her son and smiled, a bit of wariness around her eyes, “and are you looking for another job yet?”

TJ blinked; how could his mother think he'd be looking for a job _right_ then. He could barely make it up and down stairs without grimacing in pain.

“TJ’s not looking for work at the time. He doesn’t need to and is considering being a house husband as one of his options,” Steve again answered the questions.

TJ nuzzled against Steve, thankful that he was answering the questions.

Elaine, however, seemed annoyed. “TJ has a brain and a tongue, Steve. He can answer for himself.”

Steve nodded, “but he doesn’t want to, Elaine. TJ didn’t come to talk or even eat. He came because he loves you. Really, I think he would have preferred to stay home, but you had a party planned so we didn’t ask you to change plans and join _us_ instead. TJ’s been in a lot of pain and has trouble moving around, and his head hurts too much to bother speaking. But, if he wants to, he’s more than welcome to talk for himself. TJ is his own person, not a possession.”

She frowned and stared hard at Steve. “Odd, I thought that was the idea of being a submissive . . . to be owned.”

Laughing softly, Steve looked at TJ. “Did you want to field that, sweetheart?”

Looking at his adoptive mother, TJ explained softly, as Steve hadn't been lying when he told Elaine that even speaking pained him, “I'm not a possession, Momma. I trust Steve to know what I want and what's best for me. He loves me, as a person, not a possession.”

Nodding, Steve carefully cuddled his husband and added, “besides, if TJ ever wanted to protest, he knows that’s acceptable, because he is a free man. A submissive tends to like someone else making the decisions, as long as he trusts that person. TJ has granted me that trust. I refuse to abuse it, but I will help TJ do things he doesn’t feel comfortable with but I know are good for him. For instance,” Steve snapped the leash back in place, “I made TJ come to your party.”

Elaine’s mouth dropped open, but before she could say anything, Steve added, “he’s terrified to leave because of all the recent attacks, especially the last one. I arranged him to never set foot outside a safe area, and I have no intention of letting him among the political crowd later. My consideration was a polite comment only. TJ knows I wouldn’t force him into such a situation. He’s not ready yet.” Steve smiled at his husband and carefully kissed his non-bruised temple.

Studying her adoptive son, her husband’s biological nephew, Elaine frowned in worry. All anger and indignation disappeared in that moment. She softly stroked his cheek. “Do you want me to arrange counseling, Tommy?”

“I - - I’m already seeing a counselor,” TJ said quietly, looking over at his adoptive mother while still staying pressed against Steve’s side.

Steve stroked his husband’s arm and kissed his neck softly, briefly. “Elaine, we know you love TJ. Please, can we change subjects before you push the protective thing too far?” He offered her a smile and she drew in a breath before nodding, agreeing.

TJ nuzzled Steve’s neck, his silent thanks for helping with the situation.

Bucky finally drew his Aunt’s attention by saying, “actually, I’ve started seeing a counselor for my damn nightmares. Do I get kisses and cuddles for being as smart as TJ?”

Elaine smiled a bit wider, chuckling, and walked over to kiss his cheek.”I leave the cuddles to your wife.”

“Natasha and I are getting a divorce,” Bucky said, as nonchalantly as if mentioning the weather.

Shock coursed over Elaine’s face and Nana choked, spitting some of her drink over her own lap. As the older woman began sputtering and cleaning up her dress, with Anne’s help, Elaine frowned and studied her nephew then his wife. Very softly she asked, “it’s because you found . . . another _lover_ . . . James?”

“Yup, sort of. Actually, I married Natasha because she was a victim of TJ’s attacker, too. But, she’s found someone who calls to her heart. So, being the good friend I’ve always been, I’m giving her a divorce so she can be with him.” Bucky turned his smile to Natasha and leaned into her with his right side. “Right, Nat?”

Natasha nodded; she met Elaine’s eyes and said, “that’s right. We married each other for the wrong reasons and we’ve both found people that make us happy.”

Nodding, Elaine sighed, “I’ve been there . . . but it didn’t go so smoothly for me.” She touched Natasha’s wrist. “You’re still welcome in our home, Natasha. And I’d like to meet your . . . other?”

“You already have,” Natasha gave the older woman a smile.

“The cop,” Bucky chuckled. “Clint? He’s her hero, not me.” Bucky really did seem relaxed and happy, putting Elaine’s fears to rest over the reasoning behind the divorce.

“Well,” Elaine nodded, “a good choice, if you’re willing to put up with the strain of worry. Cops lead dangerous lives.” She could hardly fault someone else for divorcing since she had, and very publicly, too.

“I’m aware,” Natasha nodded, “but he’s worth the worry.”

“Well, we’ve got news, but we’ll wait until the party’s long done,” Elaine smiled, proving that her news, while private, _was_ good. She carefully dropped another kiss on TJ’s cheek and said, “I’m going to go mingle with the handful of family friends we have invited. Everyone are old friends we’ve known forever, TJ, but you don’t have to leave this room until dinner unless you want to.” She walked out of the private parlor.

TJ turned his head again to nuzzle at Steve’s neck, placing small kisses on the flesh. 

“See? Everything’s arrange for comfort, TJ.” Steve carefully held his husband and kissed his neck, right below the double rows of gold-linked pearls of the collar.

Nana walked over and offered a glass of clear liquid with ice to TJ. “Here.”

Taking the glass with a thankful smile, TJ carefully brought it to his lips and drank a sip of the drink.

Surprisingly, though Steve had no problem with public drinking and never curtailed TJ drinking socially, Nana had provided her grandson water. She smiled. “You’re on medication.” No one had told her that TJ had forgone the heavier medications.

“Thank you, Nana,” TJ smiled and took another sip of the ice water.

Steve offered the woman a smile as she asked, “drinks anyone?”

“Water, please,” Steve requested, echoed by both Natasha and Bucky.

Anne laughed and helped Nana get their mild drinks together, also getting water for herself. “Doug? Bud?” the younger Hammond woman asked.

“I’ve got to go mingle, Sugar told me so,” Bud said before giving TJ another gentle hug. He turned to Bucky and Natasha. “Shame you kids couldn’t make it work, but Elaine’s right. You’re always welcome, Nat.” Bud left the parlor to join his ex-wife.

“Well, I’m not pregnant or on medication, so I’ll have a beer,” Doug laughed.

Anne laughed and got her husband’s requested drink. She handed him the bottle with a kiss. “Glass or like that?” she asked.

“This is great,” Doug smiled, kissing her back, “thank you.”

Anne turned to the others. “I know it’s a bit early, but do you have plans for Christmas yet?”

“Not really, but we refuse to do anything political,” Steve chuckled. He carefully stood TJ up then directed him back down, on Steve’s lap, encircling him in strong arms once more.

Humming, leaning into Steve’s embrace, TJ nodded, “it’d be nice to have a quiet Christmas.”

“Well, that’s the idea. Visitors are welcome, but we are probably going to settle in and just enjoy our first home for our first Christmas as a family.” Steve nuzzled TJ’s neck a bit easier now they were sitting in the new, closer position.

“What about you, Anne, Doug? Got any plans for the holidays?” Natasha asked.

“Doug hasn’t told me, but this year, I leave it entirely in his hands,” Anne smiled at her husband.

“A quiet Christmas for once does sound nice,” Doug mused, taking a sip of his beer.

Bucky smiled at Natasha. “I think quiet sounds good.”

Natasha agreed with a nod, “yeah, sounds heavenly. We all could use a little quiet.”

A knock on the parlor door alerted the group and Happy looked into the room. “Mr. Rogers,” he said formally, “a photographer for the local newspaper wishes to come in and take pictures of you and your new husband? Her credentials check out, but I’m to ask your permission before letting people into the family private parlor.”

Steve kissed TJ’s neck, right behind his ear, and whispered, “do I let her in or turn her away, babydoll?”

“Whatever you want, Steve,” TJ murmured, smiling softly as Steve’s lips brushed against the sensitive spot behind his ear.

“Leave the leash on or take it off?” he asked just as softly, making Happy wait for his answer.

“I don’t want to take it off,” TJ said.

“Wonderful, my good boy,” Steve praised. He looked up and nodded. “Let her in, but we won’t be going through hoops to pose. TJ’s not up to a lot of movement, Happy.”

Happy nodded and turned back to the hall outside. He said something softly and a moment later he escorted a dark-haired woman into the room, Thor blocking anyone else from entering. The woman walked forward, her camera very evidently expensive and well cared for. She smiled in a friendly way and said, “thank you for letting me photograph you both, Mr. Rogers.” Her eyes fell on the pearl collar and leash and she looked fairly surprised. “Um . . . maybe this is impertinent, but are you required to wear a leash everywhere?”

Steve laughed, “nothing like that, ma’am. TJ wears a leash when he wants to. Do you wear such a pretty bracelet and watch set everywhere?”

She shook her head and smiled wider. Holding up the camera, she said, “I understand you want these pictures taken as you are now?”

Steve kissed TJ’s neck, “please. I put my foot down at TJ hurting himself to please his public. He’s far too generous to the world and in no condition to indulge them right now.”

The reporter took several pictures from different angles then lowered her camera. “Might I be impertinent to say that you’ve never looked happier, Mr. Rogers . . . uh . . .TJ . . .” she smiled to let them know she wasn’t being familiar but was clarifying which Mr. Rogers she spoke to.

“Thank you . . . and I haven’t been happier. I love my husband, he makes me very happy,” TJ’s smile was as soft as his tone.

“And I suppose it doesn’t hurt to wake up to someone so gorgeous?” She laughed and shook her head, holding up a hand, “rhetorical. I’m not here to get a gossip piece. I’m pure fluff, if you will, reporting on your wedding and subsequent happiness. I was invited specifically because that’s the piece I’m after. Your mother has granted me a story in return for me not pestering any of you, and I jumped at the chance. Happy Holidays.” She offered yet another smile and turned to Happy. “I’ve got what I need. I can go back to the party now.”

Happy nodded and guided her out then came back and smiled at TJ. “Your mother says you went to school with her while you were at the White House? Her name is Lisa Mullins.”

“ _That_ was Lisa Mullins?” TJ looked surprised.

Steve laughed, “let me guess, the first girl you ever kissed?” He smiled wide.

“Uh . . . yeah, well tried to kiss, actually. Then we actually did kiss in high school . . .” TJ explained with a slight flush.

“Wow, Aunt Elaine really meant it when she said she invited people you knew already.” Bucky laughed and his nose scrunched up.

“Well, I know a lot of people . . . not many I’d consider friends anymore. I haven’t seen Lisa since I was kicked out of boarding school,” TJ shook his head, smiling softly.

Nana chuckled and sank back onto her chair at last. “We dug hard to locate people you wouldn’t mind, TJ. All five of us began working on the guest list as soon as we returned from visiting in the hospital.” Nana sighed. “However, there is one guest she put on the list, TJ, that you may want to just ignore. Elaine felt you wouldn’t have a problem meeting with him again . . . he’s become very supportive in her new platform supporting victims of abuse from the military.”

Stunned, Steve looked up. “I didn’t know Elaine added to her regular platform!”

“Oh, yeah,” Doug nodded, smiling, “she’s taking a huge interest in fixing how the military handles victims and putting policies in place in order to protect them. She’s very passionate about it, too.”

Steve ducked his head and buried his face in TJ’s temple.

“Well, she’s not the only one,” Nana sipped her drink. “There are a handful of others rallying behind her, including some Republicans. It’s a real breakthrough with both sides working together.”

“Momma’s working with Republicans?” TJ’s eyebrows shot up, looking shocked.

Anne smiled, “yes. She was approached by one about it and gave him a chance to speak, which startled us. But what he said made sense and now the growing unity of different parties has gripped the Capitol in a fervor of energy. Everyone wants to support the military, especially veterans who were hurt while serving. And not just war injured.”

Turning to look at Steve, TJ smiled brightly, “you hear that, Steve? People wanna help victims like you. Things are going to change!”

Flushing brightly, Steve nodded silently.

Nana interrupted, “Elaine invited her biggest Republican partner tonight.” She watched TJ with a cat in the cream look.

“Okay,” TJ drawled, looking at his grandmother, “what’s so bad about this Republican? He can’t be too bad - -”

“Sean Reeves,” was her only response.

TJ paled, smile fading away instantly, “S - - Sean’s here?”

“I met up with him right before we got married,” Steve mentioned quietly.

“What?” TJ looked at Steve, shocked and a little hurt in his eyes. Why hadn’t Steve told him?

“He wanted you to know he said what he did to turn you away specifically, because he wanted you to move on. He knew he wasn’t good for you.” Steve met his husband’s eyes without shame. “He said he’s real sorry and hopes you’ll be happy. But I told him I wouldn’t even mention the meeting until you were ready.” He watched his husband, eyes calm, hands still.

Frowning, TJ looked down at his lap. Sean was at the party . . . he was working closely with Elaine to bring justice to victims of abuse in the military.

“TJ, baby, look at me?” Steve asked calmly.

TJ lifted his head and looked at Steve.

“I wasn’t keeping you two apart. He made it quite clear he wasn’t leaving his wife or seeking for reconciliation. He just wanted you to know that he felt bad for mistreating you, even in the name of letting you go.” Steve stroked TJ’s shoulder.

“Felt bad?” TJ nodded, “I’m glad he _felt bad_. He should _feel bad_.”

Smiling softly, Steve nodded. “I was picking up our wedding rings when I met up with him, TJ. He actually threatened that I should take care of you like you deserve.”

“He’s in no place to threaten you to take care of me. He didn’t care about me, didn’t care _for_ me,” TJ shook his head, looking more angry than anything else.

Nodding, Steve leaned closer to kiss TJ’s neck, right below the pearls. “So proud of my boy.”

Nana smiled widely. “My God, TJ! Look how far you’ve come! You have so much confidence now. _That’s_ the boy who used to run around playing the White House piano whenever the mood struck. Welcome home, baby.” She toasted him.

Blinking, TJ looked at his grandmother, caught off guard by her praise. He turned and looked at Steve.

Anne smiled, “you lost so much confidence after Sean, TJ. But now? You’re back again. You _know_ you’re worth it.”

Steve nodded. “It’s a different kind of courage from wanting to walk out among strangers, baby. It’s a knowledge of your self-worth and what you deserve. And you’re beautiful when you love yourself!”

TJ smiled softly. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t know what to say. He just nuzzled against Steve’s neck, still smiling.

Nana chuckled as she looked at the surprise on Doug’s face. “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies, Dougie,” she laughed. “And now you know why a good dom is important for a sub. Gives the boy confidence and love.” She approved heartily.

Happy knocked again and opened the door. “Mr. Rogers? A Senator Reeves is here to speak to you?”

Looking surprised, TJ lifted his head to look at Steve.

Steve gently tugged him closer by the pearl leash and kissed him on the lips. “Wanna talk to him or send him away, my love?”

“I - - I can talk to him?” TJ said.

“Send him in, Happy, but don’t go far,” Steve instructed, not taking his eyes from TJ’s.

Happy left and showed Sean in, standing in front of the door while the young Senator walked into the room. Steve looked up at Sean and smiled. “Thank you for taking up the cause for military victims.”

Sean nodded, giving Steve a polite smile, “it’s the right cause to get involved in.”

“I told TJ your message, Senator,” Steve mentioned, sounding casual.

Looking at TJ, Sean seemed to take in the sight of his battered ex-boyfriend, his eyes caught on the pearl collar and leash, one end still wrapped in Steve’s hand. Something akin to anger flashed in Sean’s eyes as he looked at Steve and then back at TJ. Eyes moving back to Steve, Sean snapped, “did you do that to him?”

“No,” Steve answered honestly, calmly. “Not sure when Bud’s going to release the information, but TJ and Bucky were walking near a motel when they were jumped by seven men who _were hired_ to beat them senseless. We suspect certain people, but cannot release that information. An ongoing police investigation still. Thank you for your concern.”

Sean glanced over at Bucky, who looked battered like his twin, and then back at TJ. He nodded and released a deep breath.

“You saw the engagement set I got my husband. This is his wedding set. Do you like it? I think it makes his pale skin look like it glows.” Steve continued with the calm, friendly tone. He leaned forwards and kissed TJ’s neck, eyes never leaving Sean, staking his claim.

Meeting Steve’s eyes, Sean agreed, “radiant.”

Nodding, Steve broke eye contact and looked at TJ. “TJ, did you want to tell Sean something? Don’t be overly polite. We’re in private, babydoll.”

Meeting Sean’s eyes, TJ said simply, “you hurt me.”

Sean sighed and nodded, “I know I did, TJ. But, I meant every word of the message your husband gave you. I knew you wouldn’t let go unless I hurt you. I regret what I said . . . and the consequences of my words.”

“Fortunately, TJ’s not that blind or needy anymore. TJ, feel free to tell him what your response was to hearing his message, pet.” Steve kissed again, gently, encouraging his husband to fight back and let Sean know he had discovered his bite.

“I’m glad you feel bad about what happened. I hope you regret your decision for the rest of your life, Sean. You are right about one thing though,” TJ took a deep breath and let it out before continuing, “I do deserve better than you. I deserve someone who loves me and cares for me. I hope you find your courage someday, Sean, really, I do.”

Sean looked a bit stunned but after a moment he nodded.

“I promised you I knew how to give TJ back his self confidence, Sean. Did I lie?” He kissed again with a beautiful smile. “Now, if we’re all healthy responsible adults, perhaps we can discuss your interest in my cause. I welcome finding out what you’ve managed to find out or do. I might have some insight for you.”

Sean nodded, looking at Steve, “sadly, we haven’t been able to do much. However, Elaine is taking a very special interest in one case in particular.”

“Did she mention any particulars? Please, Sean, sit.” Steve carefully trailed his fingers over TJ’s spine through the tuxedo.

Sean sat on the edge of one of the open chairs, “she said something about an ex-soldier who was gang-raped by fellow comrades and then blamed for it because it came out he was bisexual.”

Nodding, Steve sighed and put his arms around TJ more securely. “And what do you think you can do for this case, or with the information, if given the details?”

“Well, we can try to get it tried. Make the attackers serve time for their crimes, or at the very least get them all dishonorably discharged,” Sean explained.

“I know the case she’s interested in,” Steve said, kissing TJ’s neck, his voice soft.

“Yeah? I know you’re ex-military. An old friend or something?” Sean asked.

“The year was 2009,” Steve began, “and the Lieutenant had a secret boyfriend in his unit, an enlisted sergeant. So, yeah, the different ranks were already going against them. It was _Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell_ , so another strike. Well, the unit was ordered to a specific mission which resulted in killing an enemy unit in Kosovo.” Steve buried his face a moment in TJ’s neck, took a breath, then lifted his head again to continue. “When they got back, the Lieutenant was very upset about how the mission went. HIs boyfriend offered to make things right. He agreed. But the Sergeant invited ten other men, some enlisted, some officers, in to gang rape the Lieutenant. When he tried to report it, he was told he shouldn’t have told anyone he was _gay_ , he was _asking for it_. He was discharged, offered a severance bribe, which he refused, and told to keep his mouth shut. No one else was disciplined for the . . . event.”

Sean took in all the information, watching Steve closely. “I can see why Elaine wants to help this victim.”

“Lieutenant Rogers, Steven Grant,” Steve muttered into TJ’s neck. He hugged his husband again, still careful. “There were ten of them.”

Looking shocked, Sean blinked, “the victim . . . you’re the Lieutenant?”

Nodding, Steve lifted his face, looking worried and frightened and defiant in a small way. “Yes,” he took another deep, slow breath. “And it was seven years ago over in Kosovo. I’m not sure anyone can do anything, even with the security footage . . . if it wasn’t destroyed by now.”

“Well, we can try and get you justice, Steve. But, I don’t know the time limits of rape cases in Kosovo. If anything, if you’re willing to go public with your story, we can use it to show that our soldiers need protecting.”

Nana shrugged. “It’s more like the time limits on rape cases on military bases. Any United States base overseas is considered being on United States soil. The same applies for embassies.” She got up to replenish her drink, dropping her hand gently to TJ’s head as she passed.

Steve met Sean’s eyes. “If Elaine thinks it’s a good idea, I’ll do it, Sean. I don’t want to _hurt_ the cause just because I married my beloved TJ and am now in the family of a presidential candidate.”

Nodding, Sean said, “of course, I’ll ask her what she thinks next time we meet.”

“I understand you’ve been invited to dinner, so you’ll meet soon,” Steve said. “But, Sean,” he held the Senator’s eyes, “you know more than my in-laws now. I’m _trusting_ you to do the right thing. Don't let this family down again.”

Nodding, Sean stood and smoothed out his tuxedo, “thank you for your trust, Steve. And I’ll do everything in my power not to.”

“Thank you for taking on our cause, Sean.” Steve offered his hand, but didn’t oust TJ from his lap to stand. “I’d stand to shake your hand, but TJ’s head was cracked. I don’t want to move him when he’s comfortable.”

Sean nodded and shook Steve’s hand. He gave both men a smile and then turned to smile at the rest to the guests before leaving the room.

Happy followed him out, expression neutral.

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly, arms beginning to shake around TJ. He kissed his husband’s neck and didn’t lift his lips, just keeping the intimate contact.

TJ stayed still in Steve’s arms, letting his husband hold him.

Finally, Steve lifted his face and whispered, “my beautiful love. My good boy. Do you want to visit the restroom with me?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, slowly slipping off of Steve’s lap.

Carefully, Steve helped TJ to ease off his lap and stand. Standing himself, Steve gathered the leash and asked TJ, “where’s the closest bathroom, pet?” He still looked pretty shaken up.

“There’s one connected to this room,” TJ answered, pointing to a door on the other side of the room.

Nodding, Steve led his husband into the room and locked the door behind them. Steve went over and washed his face and hands. He dried off on one of the soft cloths provided then finally looked over at TJ. “How are you holding up, pet?”

“I’m okay, how are you, sir?” TJ asked, looking at Steve with worried eyes.

“I’ll recover. It’s the first time I told so many people the . . . well, pretty much the full thing without getting graphic. Do you think we can trust Sean, politically? He’s a Republican . . . and we’re Democrats.” Steve turned, leaning back against the sink and watching his lover.

“I think so. He seemed pretty passionate,” TJ answered.

“How’s the head? Your cheek? How much pain, baby?” Steve asked, studying TJ.

“They hurt, but nothing too bad, sir,” TJ replied.

Nodding, Steve guided TJ to a chair set in the room for whatever reasons the occupants wanted to use it for. Steve eased his husband into the chair. “Feel need for some contact, baby?”

“You’ve been giving me contact, sir, all night,” TJ said, watching Steve.

Slowly, Steve smiled and unfastened his tuxedo pants to pull out his flaccid member. “You’ve been so good, I thought you might want a taste. I won’t thrust.”

Eyes widening, TJ looked up at Steve; this was the first _offer_ of real sexual contact since the hospital. Steve hadn’t even mentioned sex since TJ and Bucky had gotten released. Slowly, TJ leaned forward and took the tip of Steve’s cock into his mouth.

Steve shook his head and carefully straightened TJ up again. He stepped forward to place his cock at TJ’s mouth, not making his husband strain. “There you go, baby. Enjoy it.” he brushed his hand carefully over TJ’s head, smiling lovingly down at his husband, knowing TJ must have been going through private hell deprived of this kind of intimacy while so seriously hurt.

TJ took Steve into his mouth again, swirling his tongue around the head.

“I don’t need to cum, baby. I want you to just relax and enjoy yourself,” Steve said softly, stroking TJ’s head.

Humming softly, TJ continued to suck and lap at Steve’s cockhead, enjoying the feel and taste of his husband.

“You’ve been so good and brave tonight, TJ, I am so proud of my good boy,” Steve praised as he petted gently. “Once you’re able to get past the headaches, I’ll make sure you get to cum, babydoll.”

TJ had to pull back several times to take breaths, and he couldn’t swallow Steve down all the way like he’d normally do. The lean brunet continued to suck on his husband’s member. He’d been aching for this sort of contact for days, he _needed_ it.

“Already feel less tense, pet,” Steve murmured. “How about you?”

Releasing Steve’s cock from his mouth, TJ nodded, “yes, sir. I feel a little better.”

“So, a good surprise for my good boy?” Steve smiled and stroked TJ’s head. With his other hand he lightly rattled the pearl leash, causing the collar to slink over TJ’s throat.

Mewling softly, TJ nodded, “yes, sir. Thank you for such a wonderful surprise.”

Steve nodded and smiled. “Well, I can promise something similar once we get back home, babydoll. Natasha and I have come up with a way . . .” he didn’t further explain, but his eyes danced in happiness.

“You’ll be able to fill me, sir?” TJ asked, hopefulness in his tone.

Leaning close, he whispered, “no, but we figured out a way you can warm a certain cock.”

Keening, TJ looked up at Steve. 

Just to clarify, Steve added, “and no one should feel pain during the warming, if we’ve figured it out correctly.” He smiled down at TJ, nodding, encouraging him to figure out the treat.

“Is it Bucky, sir? I can warm him . . . I promise, I can,” TJ whimpered softly.

“Shh . . . baby, we’re in DC . . .” he smiled though.

TJ pouted softly, eyes flickering to the door and then back to Steve, “can we move to France, sir? Or Sweden?”

“Or Japan or Belgium?” Steve asked lightly. “We’ll all talk about it, baby, I promise.”

“Mm’kay,” TJ nodded, “do we have to stay until dinner, sir?”

“Dinner, yes, but not the party after. We’ve already talked to anyone we needed to, haven’t we? But we did promise to eat with the family. Unless you want me to tell you Mom we’re not going tonight despite her careful plans?” Steve looked down at TJ, rubbing his erection against his husband’s cheek as they spoke.

Sighing softly, TJ nodded, “okay. Dinner, then,” the brunet licked at the underside of Steve’s shaft, “but I wanna be full of something other than food!”

“Have you been peeking?” Steve chuckled. “I did bring some lube and the plug set, baby, if you’re ready for them? I can get them from Nat’s purse.”

“I’m ready, sir, please? It won’t be the same as you but . . . it’ll help,” TJ begged.

“But we need to get you back in practice, babydoll. You’ve had a nice long holiday. Need you ready for me whenever I want you.” Steve pulled away and tucked himself back into his pants, fixing them up. He smiled at TJ and leaned over to kiss him, lapping lightly at the precum across his cheek. “Be right back, TJ. Don’t stand without me.”

Steve turned and walked from the bathroom to Natasha and bent down to whisper in her ear, “need the supplies, please.”

Quirking a brow, Natasha looked at Steve before grabbing her purse and handing it to Steve without a word.

Bucky, watching, couldn’t help his slight squirm, eyes lighting up.

Steve walked back into the restroom and locked the door once more. He put the purse on the counter and eased TJ up. “Okay, baby, gonna have to bend over a bit for me,” he advised as he unfastened TJ’s pants and pulled them down, along with his boxers. Steve turned TJ towards the sink and mirror.

With a deep breath, TJ put his hands on the edge of the counter and bent as much as he could with his pounding head, displaying himself for his husband.

Steve soothed a hand carefully over TJ’s ass. Softly, he began to caress, retrieving the first, smallest, plug and the lube with his free hand. “Ready, sweetie?” Steve purred, caressing around the edges of TJ’s fluttering hole.

“Oh, yes, sir. Please?” TJ mewled; despite the slight pain of bending, the feeling of Steve’s hands on him, in him, drowned out any of the uncomfortable feelings.

Nodding very visibly in the mirror, Steve lubed his finger and the plug. With his lubed finger, Steve began to massage the muscle. He worked the tip of his finger in and twisted, stretching slowly and carefully.

Keening, TJ wanted to push against that finger, but knew he shouldn’t push too far.

After several minutes, hogging the bathroom quite shamelessly, Steve finally slid his finger out and eased the first plug inside. “Okay, baby, I know you want more, but we’re gonna do this slow. In another hour, we’ll up it if you still feel green, okay?”

“Okay, sir,” TJ nodded, turning his head to look at Steve from over his shoulder, “I missed this, sir. So much.”

“I know, and you’ve been so good waiting, baby. But I wanted to be sure not to hurt my good boy.” Steve smiled and stroked his husband’s ass carefully, enjoying the feel of those warm globes. “So very pretty.” Steve bent down and kissed the dimple above TJ’s crack. “So very beautiful.”

TJ hummed, a smile on his face as he slowly straightened. Even though he could easily have taken more than the first plug, just the feeling of being _full_ again made him happy. “I love you, sir,” TJ said.

“And I love you, TJ my pet,” Steve kissed again. He carefully redressed his husband. “Ready to go out and face everyone? Remember, if you have to relieve yourself, let me know so I can help you out, especially with that plug. Don’t wanna lose it.”

“Yes, sir,” TJ nodded, giving his husband a smile.

Steve made sure to clean up so no one else would see the evidence of what they’d done; it was no one’s business. He gathered the leash and led TJ from the restroom and back to their place, situating himself before easing TJ down onto his lap once more.

TJ looked over at Bucky, smirking as he got comfortable on Steve’s lap.

Bucky quirked a brow and smirked right back. In a small, sing-song, he teased, “someone’s cleared for duty . . .”

Laughing softly, TJ nodded and turned his head to kiss Steve’s jaw. Had they been at home he would’ve teased Bucky back, would’ve pushed Steve a little bit further. But, they were in DC, at one of his adoptive mother’s political parties . . . he had to control himself.

Nana rolled her eyes, “try to behave, boys. Dinner’s in another hour. Let’s just make it through that.” She sipped her drink, smile mischievous.

Huffing with a slight wince, TJ settled back against Steve. He wanted to go home. They had talked to everyone they wanted or needed to, TJ didn’t see the point of sitting through a long dinner where they had to be overly polite and hide who they were.

Anne began a small conversation with the twins and Doug, including Natasha and Steve and Nana, but mainly geared at the cousins. Time passed quickly and Steve finally eased TJ to his feet once more.

“Rest room, sweetie,” he said and led TJ back to the other room. Once inside, he carefully cupped his husband’s face and began kissing him. “Check in, pet,” he said amid the kisses.

Mewling, pressing into Steve’s body, TJ breathed, “green, sir. Oh, green.”

“Ready for two?” Steve asked and dropped his hands to begin unfastening TJ’s trousers. “Need a potty break first or you good?”

“I’m good, sir. I’m ready,” TJ nodded.

Nodding, Steve let TJ get comfortable at the sink while he dipped into Natasha’s purse, which he had left in the restroom last time they’d left; it was a private area and he had been able to track everyone who used it: all trusted friends and family. Lubing up the second plug in the series, Steve walked over to TJ and caressed his asscheeks gently. He gripped the first plug and twisted it, rotating in a pattern which would help TJ open as Steve pulled it out. He began stroking the plug in and out, working his husband a bit more open as he did so.

TJ gasped, a sound of pleasure mixed with pain, his fingers clutched at the edge of the sink; he tried to keep his breathing steady. “Sir . . .” he keened softly; he needed more . . . it had been _so_ long since he’d had this type of contact.

Nodding, Steve cooed, “I’ve got you, baby.” He slowly pulled the smallest plug out and eased the second plug into his lover’s passage, working it around as he went before he settled it comfortably inside his husband. “How’s that, babydoll?” Steve asked, caressing TJ’s asscheeks.

“Mmm . . . so good, sir,” TJ breathed out, his fingers slowly relaxing their grip on the edge of the sink counter.

“Damn,” Steve said, beginning to redress his husband, “I sure can’t wait for your head to finish healing. I want to taste you so much . . . leave my mark all over your beautiful ass . . . make you sit through a party with my marks teasing your ass.” Steve straightened as he finished fastening TJ’s trousers and fixed the rest of his tuxedo carefully.

Whimpering, TJ leaned over and pressed his lips against Steve’s, tongue swiping against the blond’s lower lip. His hands roved all over his husband’s firm body, feeling the strong muscles, the smooth skin below the tuxedo he wore. “Want you, sir . . . I want you so bad it hurts . . .” TJ purred, teeth nipping and pulling at Steve’s plush bottom lip.

Smiling under his husband’s mouth, Steve said, “I want you, too, baby, but not until you’re better. That’ll be soon. You are going to have to be patient before you get your present.”

“I’ve waited _so long_ ,” TJ whined, nipping again.

“Yes, but I promise, it’ll be worth it, pet.” Steve stepped back and began cleaning things up. “Ready for dinner now?”

“I guess,” TJ mumbled, taking a few breaths to calm himself down.

“Hey, TJ, at least you know something the other diners don’t.” Steve leaned in close and nipped at TJ’s earlobe, “you’ve got such a pretty ass and you’re not even completely full yet, like you will be later.” Steve closed Natasha’s purse and grinned at his husband as he gathered the leash.

Keening, TJ followed where Steve led him. The sooner dinner was over the sooner they could get home.

Steve handed Natasha her purse with a smile then led TJ towards the couch. Happy walked in and announced that it was time for dinner. He and Thor waited for Steve’s decision. Steve paused then nodded and continued walking, leading TJ out the door, the pair sandwiched between Happy in front and Bucky and Natasha right behind, Thor in the rear. Finally, Steve led his husband into the dining room to the seats Elaine, smiling, indicated.

TJ sat down, looking around the table, and noticed the faces of several family friends he hadn’t seen in years but were always nice to him. His family really had whittled down the guest list for the dinner to only include people TJ felt comfortable with.

As the meal proceeded, different guests asked TJ how he felt, but didn’t seem to expect an in-depth answer if TJ didn’t want to give one. Other questions that came up concerned how he’d met Steve, what his wedding was like, and where they planned to settle down. One older man snickered and said, “you two are cuter than kids at Easter.”

Beaming, TJ smiled and thanked the older man politely, his hand resting on Steve’s thigh and giving the firm muscle a gentle squeeze.

Steve smiled at his husband, relaxed and happy that TJ was comfortable, too. The dinner might not be the political party Elaine had originally envisioned, but this was far nicer, in Steve’s opinion.


	24. Returning to Normal

By the time the group returned home from Thanksgiving dinner with the Hammonds, everyone had been too tired to do much of anything. The next morning, however, TJ felt a familiar aching need in him that he hadn’t felt in nearly two weeks. Keening softly, TJ nuzzled at Bucky’s neck, who still slept next to him in the large bed in the dungeon. For the first time since the attack, TJ didn’t feel the nearly overwhelming pounding behind his eyes from his injury; all he felt was his _need_ for his twin.

Blinking open his eyes, sleepy and stiff and sore in the left arm, Bucky yawned. “Teej? Heya, big brother.” He could feel his own morning erection pushing at the loose sweatpants but didn’t want to make demands on his injured twin; the continued headaches really worried Bucky.

Keening again, TJ carefully moved his mouth down Bucky’s neck and bare chest, paying close attention to his brother’s right nipple, TJ didn’t want to accidentally move Bucky’s injured arm. The smaller man lapped at the sensitive nub, licking and gently biting at it.

Moaning softly in response, Bucky lifted his right hand to caress at TJ’s neck. “Brother mine, you’re making me ache,” he warned breathlessly.

“I’ll take care of you, little brother,” TJ breathed out, moving from Bucky’s nipple, down his firm abdomen, licking and lightly nipping as he went. Finally, TJ made his way to Bucky’s waistband, which he quickly, but carefully, pulled down to free Bucky’s cock. “Mmm . . .” TJ licked his lips, glancing up at his brother from under his lashes, “I missed you, Buck. Been too long since I last tasted you.” TJ’s warm breath ghosted over Bucky’s cockhead.

“Your . . . head . . .” Bucky panted, trying to keep his hips from rocking up, wanting to chase TJ’s mouth. Groaning, Bucky fisted both hands, ignoring the shot of pain through his left arm. “God, Teej . . .”

“Head’s fine, Bucky,” TJ admitted, shifting his body so he could easily lap at his brother’s cockhead, paying special attention to Bucky’s slit. “This okay, little brother?” TJ asked, looking back up at his twin.

Letting his head fall back on the pillows, Bucky groaned, “fuckin’ green, Teej . . . been so damn long.”

With a nod, TJ moved his head to begin swallowing down Bucky’s cock, his hand snaking between the larger brunet’s legs to caress his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze. Looking up at Bucky, TJ swirled his tongue around his twin’s shaft before taking Bucky even deeper.

Whimpering, Bucky kept his hips still with difficulty, hands clenching again. He looked down at TJ, watching that beautiful mouth working over his shaft. Trying to release his hands so he could touch his brother, Bucky felt an intense jolt go through his left arm and inadvertently let out a scream, the arm spasming. The sound drew Steve running from the bathroom, looking worried.

“Bucky? TJ?” the blond called, not worried about finding the twins engaging in sex play as much as Bucky’s scream of pain.

“I’m okay,” Bucky growled, slipping his right hand to TJ’s head to keep him over his crotch. “Just an arm spasm. Don’t stop, brother? Please?” He stroked softly, looking down at TJ.

Looking up, eyes worried, TJ nodded and obeyed his brother’s plea. He took a deep breath through his nose before letting Bucky’s cock slip past the back of his throat. One hand still caressing and squeezing Bucky’s balls, TJ moved his other hand to his brother’s hip, tapping once, letting his twin know it was okay to move his hips. Checking in with Bucky without the larger brunet even asking for it.

With a soft groan, Bucky respected TJ’s silent check in and let his hips thrust gently. He groaned again. “Stevie? Get me some meds for this damn arm? I don’t wanna stop this wonderful morning . . .” He stroked TJ’s neck and head, careful of the bruising there.

Steve smiled and nodded. “TJ? Lift a hand and show me one finger for pain med and two for none for your head?” he asked.

Pulling his hand off of Bucky’s hip, TJ lifted two fingers for his husband, swallowing around Bucky’s shaft as he did so.

Nodding, Steve verbally said, “got it. Meds for Bucky’s arm. TJ’s head’s fine. Be right back. Enjoy.” He hurried up the steps to get the requested meds and some water and fruit for the guys. Steve predicted they’d be able to move back to their master bedroom that afternoon.

Bucky groaned and said, softly, “I absolutely adore your husband, brother mine. Think he’d mind if I fuck you ahead of his schedule?”

TJ’s pale eyes flickered to meet Bucky’s gaze; he hummed, sending vibrations up Bucky’s cock. He gave Bucky’s heavy balls another squeeze.

“God, missed this so much, big brother.” Bucky began gently thrusting his hips up again, fucking TJ’s mouth with gentle strokes, not his normal hard thrusts. His arm hurt a lot and was distracting, but Bucky didn’t want to stop this wonderful morning loving.

Pulling off Bucky’s cock with an obscene pop, TJ kissed both of Bucky’s hipbones, his hand moving to wrap around his brother’s shaft. “I want you to fuck me, little brother,” TJ purred, kissing and nipping at Bucky’s abdomen. “But, want you to feel better first.”

“As soon as my arm stops spasming, TJ, I’m gonna drive you into the mattress,” Bucky growled. He pushed to a sitting position, using only his right arm, and began kissing TJ. “You are the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen, even if it sounds conceited.” he grinned. “Love your mouth.”

TJ grinned, his eyes crinkling with a pure smile, an expression Bucky hadn’t seen since before the attack. Chasing his brother’s lips, TJ breathed out, “I love you, Buck. Wanna feel you deep inside me . . . where you belong.”

The sound of Steve returning drew Bucky’s glance and he smiled in relief. “Hey, Stevie, got my meds? I wanna fuck your husband hard!”

Laughing, glad to see the improvement in the two men he so cared about, Steve walked over and provided the prescription pain meds and water. He stroked TJ’s head. “If you start hurting, let me know, pet.” Steve walked over to the bookshelves and his reading chair, intent on giving the brothers some privacy while staying close to hand. He picked up the research material he’d been studying earlier.

Bucky swallowed the pills and drank half his bottle of water. “That’ll kick in about twenty minutes from now,” he sighed. “So, until then . . . TJ can you lay on your front?” There was a wicked look in his eyes.

Nodding, not feeling any pain whatsoever, TJ positioned himself how Bucky has asked, laying down on his chest. He was fully erect by this point, and the soft sheets brushing against his leaking cock made TJ let out a needy whimper.

Bucky grinned and buried his face between TJ’s full globes. Sighing, Bucky used his right hand to separate them and began lapping at the crack and fluttering rosebud of TJ’s ass. “So tasty, Teej . . .” he whimpered happily.

Panting, TJ fought the instinct to thrust back to meet Bucky’s wonderful tongue. He wanted to give the medicine a chance to kick in and give his brother some relief from the pain.

Lifting his face a bit, Bucky lapped at the dimple at the top of TJ’s butt crack. “I love how you’re always so clean and ready, Teej, even with those damn headaches. You’re so sweet . . .” Bucky began lapping at TJ’s passage, stiffening his tongue to press inside a few times in a tongue fucking, mentally noting that Tj had left out the anal plug he’d worn during the party the night before.

Letting out a whimper of need, TJ’s hands clenched around a fistful of the soft comforter. “Buck . . . love you . . .” The sensations that Bucky’s tongue fucking into his passage sent throughout his body made TJ feel alive once more . . . it had been way too long since he’d been loved and touched this way.

As the pain medicine took effect, Bucky’s actions became more and more enthusiastic. He slowly brought his left hand, still sore but much better, up to stroke between TJ’s legs at his sac and perineum. Bucky’s stronger right hand held TJ’s ass cheeks spread so he could continue his rimming and tongue fucking of his brother.

“B - - Bucky . . .” TJ whimpered, his hips involuntarily rolling back to meet Bucky’s thrusts, pushing his twin’s tongue deeper into his passage.

Bucky whimpered as he tried to maneuver himself up further, his arm throbbing hard again. Steve looked over and called, ”TJ, pet, why doesn’t Bucky lie on his back and you ride him? Then he can rest his arm and you can drive him hard?”

Panting, TJ nodded and managed to gasp out, “yes, sir.” The smaller brunet let out another keen as he pulled away from Bucky's thrusting tongue. TJ crawled out from underneath Bucky's body and moved to the side, allowing Bucky to lay down on the plush mattress.

With a groan, Bucky lowered himself to the mattress and, in a muffled moan, asked, “help me turn over, brother? Really wanna be inside you.”

Carefully, TJ helped Bucky turn over so the larger brunet could lay on his back. TJ straddled his brother’s hips, not yet breaching himself on Bucky’s cock, instead, TJ ran his hands down his twin’s chest. TJ’s nimble fingers traced his lover’s smooth skin, over the scars that still lingered from the accident, though he avoided the still healing arm. “So beautiful, little brother,” TJ purred, gazing down at Bucky, his eyes roving over Bucky’s fit form.

Smiling up at his leaner brother, Bucky rocked his hips so that his cock slid against the underneath of TJ’s. “You’re prettier, Teej.” Bucky sat up slightly, using only his strong abdominal muscles, to kiss TJ on the lips. “Mine,” he growled, softly.

Gasping against Bucky’s lips, TJ nodded, rolling his hips to grind against his lover’s thick shaft. “Yes, Buck, ‘m your’s,” TJ breathed out, “show me ‘m your’s, Buck . . . show me.” The smaller brunet gently pushed Bucky back down so that his brother wouldn’t accidently use that sore arm. Continuing to grind down on his brother’s pelvis, TJ let out a breathy keen as he kissed his lover’s plush lips, nipping at and then soothing Bucky’s bottom lip with his tongue.

Bucky slipped his good hand behind TJ’s neck and pulled him close in order to nip back, tugging TJ’s bottom lip then soothing it with gentle tongue swipes. He ground up, almost as if his every move was a mirror of his twin’s. “You’re so damn perfect, you fit my hips,” Bucky crooned, twisting his hips a bit to continue the stimulating rubbing of their cocks and sacs.

Whimpering, TJ nuzzled at Bucky’s neck, his warm breath caressing against his lover’s skin. The smaller brunet rolled his hips with Bucky’s up thrusts. “Want you, Buck . . . please . . . want you . . .” TJ begged on a moan.

“Can’t have me unless you have lube and can help me open you up, big brother. I refuse to rip you up. I’m feeling real big today,” Bucky growled, smiling. He slid against TJ’s perineum then rectum but still didn’t breech him, serious about wanting to prepare TJ.

Keening, TJ nodded and leaned over to the bedside table, still being extremely careful of Bucky’s arm. Tugging the drawer open with a huff, TJ grabbed the bottle of lube and resituated himself on Bucky’s lap. “I - - I can open myself up, Buck . . . that way you don’t hafta move too much,” TJ offered.

“You can open yourself up while I play with your cock?” Bucky asked, grinning. He reached his right hand between them and slid his fingers firmly around the hardened flesh there, causing both their members to slide together in his fist.

Whimpering, TJ nodded and opened the lube and shakily coated his fingers in the substance, desperate to get his twin inside of him. Reaching back, TJ didn’t waste any time before he pushed his finger past his entrance, still slick from Bucky’s rimming. Letting out a soft moan, TJ’s hips rolled with both Bucky’s thrusts and his own.

“God, Teej, might just cum like this! You feel great against me.” Bucky continued to stroke their cocks together, moving his hips in a soft circular motion to enhance the action. “So damn hot, brother mine! I just can’t get enough of your tight ass and beautiful body.” Bucky managed another long, passionate kiss to TJ’s plush lips.

Mewling against Bucky’s lips, TJ pressed his second finger against his entrance and slowly began to thrust the digits in and out. “B - - Buck,” TJ moaned, his head falling back as he opened himself up. The feeling of his brother’s cock against his own had TJ nearing a release, he hadn’t had one in what felt like ages.

Feeling his own balls growing heavy and tighter, his cock swelling a bit in preparation, Bucky knew he couldn’t hold out much longer, no matter how much he wanted to be inside his twin. “Gonna . . . cum,” he panted then groaned, thrusting up against TJ, his hand sliding faster and twisting as he worked their cocks together.

TJ nodded, unable to form words as he felt his own release building up. He wanted to wait until Bucky told him to cum, needing that control. Whimpering, TJ’s hips stuttered and his fingers no longer matched a set pace as they thrust in and out of his body.

Pushing up and rocking, Bucky’s thumb stroked backwards over TJ’s perineum with his every thrust. Groaning low, he said, “TJ, want you to cum with me, brother. Want you to coat us when I do.” Bucky nipped at TJ’s lips and pumped their cocks a few more times before barking out a loud shout of release, hot jets of cum coating his hand and their bellies and thighs. “TJ!”

Moaning, a shudder ran down TJ’s spine as his cock twitched in Bucky’s hand before shooting his release, coating his lover’s hand and abdomen in thick white cum. “B - - Buck . . .” TJ breathed out, pulling his fingers out of his ass so he could brace himself on the mattress, not wanting to accidentally put any weight on his twin’s left arm.

Panting and groaning, Bucky continued to kiss and lightly nip at TJ’s mouth, sitting up a bit to chase him as TJ braced himself above the injured man. “Don’t leave me, Teej. Need ya, big brother,” he groaned.

TJ gave his brother a smile, his pale eyes standing out against the dark purple bruising that still covered his temple and cheek. “Never,” TJ breathed out, his skin flushed with his release, “never gonna leave you, Buck. You’re stuck with me now. Joined together forever.”

“Good,” Bucky growled and firmly planted a kiss on TJ’s lips, their breaths mingling forcefully. “Love you so much, Teej. Gonna kick and scream if someone tries to take you away. And it’s not pretty when I throw a tantrum.” Bucky ran his hand down TJ’s side to his abdomen, swirling his fingers lazily in their combined, cooling cum.

Grinning against Bucky’s lips, TJ whispered, “I love you, little brother. Never wanna leave your side.” After catching his breath, TJ braced both hands by either side of Bucky’s head, allowing his brother to lay back down but not lose their closeness. Brushing their noses together, TJ moved his lips down to lovingly kiss and nip at Bucky’s jawline and neck. During all the times they’d loved like this, TJ had never been this tender, had taken the time to really _show_ Bucky how much he meant to him.

Sighing into TJ’s mouth on one of their shared kisses, Bucky murmured, “you really don’t think I’m the throw away cousin?” He stroked at TJ’s cheek and shoulder. He hadn’t mentioned he’d been brooding over that for the past week or more.

Pulling back so he could meet Bucky’s eyes, TJ shook his head, “I don’t think you are, Buck. I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like that.” TJ kissed Bucky’s lips again before continuing, “Momma hired Thor to keep an eye on you, Buck. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had other guards on you your whole life.”

“She said she fought Dad in court to get me, too,” Bucky murmured, studying his twins eyes. “We she just being a politician when she said that?”

“No,” TJ shook his head, sighing deeply, “I believe her. Momma doesn’t lie. She’ll use people to further her agenda or maybe skirt around the truth . . . but she wouldn’t lie. I’m sure, if you ask, she has the court documents if you want proof? I can call Dougie to fax them over or something?”

After a moment, Bucky began kissing TJ once more. “Maybe, I’ll think about it. Right now, just wanna love you. I know _you_ want me.” Bucky shifted on his back and sighed. “Teej, you’re happy with me and Steve, right?”

Looking confused, TJ nodded, “of course I’m happy with you and Steve, Buck. Do you think I’m not?”

“I know you’re afraid,” Bucky said, “but I didn’t explain myself. I didn’t mean with me and Steve as lovers and such. I meant . . . living in Jersey, not working, that kind of thing? I mean, your life is so damn different than before when you lived in DC in the political excitement.” Bucky stroked his hand down TJ’s pectorals, skipping lightly across first one nipple then the other.

“In the DC excitement I tried to kill myself, Bucky. I did drugs practically every damn day,” TJ said with a soft frown, “I let men take advantage of me because no one would give me the love I needed. I wasn’t happy in DC. Living in the fishbowl . . . everyone caring about how I looked, what I did, the fact that I wanted to kiss _boys_ instead of girls. You probably woulda liked the DC excitement, Buck, but me . . . it nearly killed me _twice_.”

Nodding, Bucky sighed. “So, you _are_ happy in this quiet kind of sheltered lifestyle you’ve got here? I mean, you were forced into it.” Lifting worried pale eyes, it was evident Bucky was thinking about how TJ had been attacked by Brock and so badly traumatized that he’d become nearly a recluse within months of arriving in New York City.

“I'm happier here, with you and Steve, than I have ever been in my entire life,” TJ looked down at Bucky, smiling softly, his pale eyes shining with love. “I feel like I've finally found what I've been looking for. You and Steve . . . you two complete me? If that makes any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, since you complete me, too, brother mine.” Bucky kissed TJ, smiling against his twin’s lips.

Grinning, TJ hummed happily and nuzzled at Bucky’s neck. “How’s the arm feeling, Buck?” TJ asked softly, watching his brother closely.

“It’s a dull roar right now, but I can handle that,” Bucky admitted.

Humming again, TJ gently kissed Bucky’s neck, “don’t like that you’re hurting.”

“Well, with time it’ll go away. Right now, it’s not a horrible mind-numbing ache like when I first got hurt, Teej.” Bucky smiled at his brother, enjoying the one-on-one time. He adored Steve, but right now, he was TJ’s world and it made Bucky feel so alive.

“Shoulda been there,” TJ murmured, tracing more kisses against Bucky’s skin, moving down his neck to his collar bone. “Shoulda been there when you woke up.”

Shaking his head, Bucky said, “it’s okay. The past is done, brother mine. Can’t do much more about that. You’re here now, and that’s what makes me happy.”

Shifting his body so he could move his kisses down Bucky’s right arm, TJ’s pale eyes flickered up to look at his brother, “doesn’t change the fact that I wished I’d been there for you. Made you happy years ago.”

Bucky nodded, “hungry, brother mine?” he asked softly, lifting his right hand to trace TJ’s cheek.

“Hmm . . .” TJ moved his lips past Bucky’s forearm to settle on his hand, kissing each of his twin’s fingers. “A little, I suppose.”

“For food, not brother, Teej,” Bucky chuckled. “Help me to the bathroom? Gotta go.”

“Always hungry for brother,” TJ laughed softly and slid of the bed to help Bucky to the bathroom; BUcky moved slowly, almost sluggishly, but smiled the entire time. Once TJ had helped his twin, he walked back into the dungeon and sat on the edge of the bed. He still felt a bit needy, the light play with Bucky had been nice, but TJ wanted more.

Sinking onto the large bed, Bucky let out a sigh, reaching over to stroke his hand up TJ’s inner thigh towards his crotch. “So soft . . .” he murmured then gave a light slap to the flesh of the inner thigh.

TJ gasped at the unexpected hit and he looked at Bucky with darkening eyes, his cock giving an interested twitch.

Smiling softly, Bucky asked, “liked that, brother mine?” He slapped the other inner thigh just as lightly, enough to sting momentarily but the redness quickly left as well.

Mewling, TJ nodded, “yes, Bucky . . . loved it . . .” the smaller man leaned over to kiss Bucky’s lips with a bit more passion, desperate for more. He hadn’t been given permission to kiss but at that moment, TJ didn’t care.

Bucky kissed back, smiling, laying back carefully. He continued kissing as TJ followed him down. Reaching around with his right hand, Bucky slapped TJ’s ass sharply, twice.

Moaning against Bucky’s lips, TJ could feel his member beginning to fill again with the slaps. “Buck . . .” TJ keened, his hips rolling to grind his cock against Bucky’s, “your . . . your arm, okay?”

“Oh, _now_ he asks,” Bucky chuckled, running his hand down TJ’s ass towards his passage then slapping each cheek again. He kept his left arm curled protectively against his chest inside the sling, his fingers clenched and knuckles almost white.

Blinking, TJ tilted his head and looked down at his brother, his pale eyes watching Bucky carefully, “been askin’ all morning, Buck.”

Softly, Bucky said, “teasing you, TJ. Yeah, my arm hurts. Need some more pain meds with our food, but I still have my right hand.” He grinned and caressed TJ’s ass again.

Humming softly, TJ continued to watch Bucky, “don’t want you to be hurting . . . if this . . . makes you hurt, then we can just cuddle or whatever.” TJ didn’t want Bucky to feel pressured into loving him.

Bucky captured TJ’s lips in a brief kiss then said, “want food, pain meds, and my brother’s ass.” He squeezed first one globe then the other. “Such a pretty ass.”

TJ let out a groan and he said, “Buck . . . you . . . you sure? Want food and meds first?” TJ tried to keep his head clear but he was quickly losing himself to Bucky’s touches.

Stopping abruptly, Bucky nodded. “Yeah, food and meds first. Good idea.” He grinned, watching TJ readjust to the lack of sensation. He wouldn’t normally do that to his twin, but they’d only just started playing so Bucky felt it was best to stop now before TJ got too lost.

Letting out a gasp, TJ swallowed and nodded, slipping off Bucky and sitting up. The smaller man blinked a few times, trying to bring himself back from that submissive state he’d been slipping into. “Food . . . yeah,” TJ nodded again, looking around for his pants. He found Bucky’s and handed them to his twin.

Taking his pants, Bucky started trying to get into them, wincing but working past the pain. Hiis arm had been far worse when he’d first injured it way back, this sprain was painful but not as nauseating or debilitating.

TJ simply sat on the edge of the bed, taking deep breaths to clear his head. It was never easy coming back on his own. After several moments, TJ asked, “whatcha want for food, Buck?” His voice was still breathless and a bit needy. He picked up his own sweat pants and began pulling them up his long legs.

Looking at TJ, Bucky frowned softly. “I did something wrong, didn’t I? Not trained in sub stuff, Teej. Tell me what to do for you?”

“Hmm?” TJ looked over his shoulder at Bucky and gave his twin a soft smile, his pale eyes still a little blown, “oh, I’m fine, Buck. Jus’ calming down. Takes a minute. So, whatcha want for breakfast?”

“How do I help you come down, Teej?” Bucky asked, giving up on fastening his pants, settling for holding them up with his right.

“Other than release?” TJ gave Bucky a lopsided grin, “just gimme a minute to catch my breath, Bucky. I’m fine. Promise.” And he did look better; his voice sounded more in control.

“Okay. Thought I’d stop while you seemed still with it so we could eat.” His stomach rumbled loudly, and Bucky chuckled. He stood up and offered his hand to TJ, Bucky’s pants slipping down his lean hips.

TJ reached out to pull up his brother’s pants again, tightening the drawstring on the sweats so they wouldn’t keep falling down. Standing up, TJ gave Bucky another smile, “so, whatcha want for food?” He asked again.

“Don’t know. Sandwich? Juice?” Bucky asked.

“For breakfast?” TJ laughed and shrugged, walking towards the stairs that would lead out of the dungeon and to the first floor.

“Omelet?” Bucky changed what he’d suggested.

“Seems like my little brother doesn’t know what he wants,” TJ teased, heading up the stairs. The smaller man made it into the kitchen and called over his shoulder, “well, we have the stuff for both omelets and sandwiches, whatcha in the mood for?”

Bucky walked up the stairs slowly and stopped at the top of the stairs. He grinned. “Hungry for big brother, but my tummy wants pizza and beer. So, I’ll settle for omelet and toast?”

Snorting softly, TJ pulled out the tray of eggs and the milk. He also took out the various vegetables and bacon to go into the omelets. “Pizza and beer, huh? Seems a bit early,” he teased as he began preparing the meal his brother had requested.

“Yeah, but then, pizza’s an all day kinda food, ain’t it?” Bucky teased back on a grin.

“Someone say pizza?” Clint’s voice came from the kitchen doorway. He grinned at the twins, looking sleepy and rumpled in a pair of sweats and an old, faded, concert t-shirt.

“Want an omelet and some toast?” TJ asked, not taking his eyes away from his task, not wanting to cut himself while chopping the vegetables. “Bucky wants pizza and beer but will settle for omelets and toast.”

Clint nodded and walked into the kitchen. “Nothing’s a replacement for beer or pizza, but this early, omelets sound good. Anything I can do to help, TJ?”

“You can put the bread in the toaster if you want?” TJ suggested as he put the first serving of vegetables and bacon bits into the pan.

“I can do that,” Clint agreed, moving to start making toast for the group. “Should we wake up Steve or Tasha?”

“Tasha’s already up,” came the woman’s voice as she made her way into the kitchen. She headed directly for the coffee maker and filled two mugs. She passed one to her boyfriend and then looked over at Bucky, “want coffee, Bucky?”

“Yeah, need life blood,” Bucky responded, grinning. “And some for our favorite chef. He hasn’t had his share.”

“You’re as bad as Clint,” Natasha laughed softly and poured two more mugs, one which she handed to TJ, who gave her a thankful nod and smile, and then the other to Bucky.

Bucky gave Nat a grateful grin, his eyes almost sleepy looking. He carefully warmed his right hand and smelled the coffee. “Thanks, Nat. I got hungry and Teej’s nice enough to cook for me.”

“Is Steve gonna want some? Or will he stay downstairs?” TJ asked, looking over at Bucky after he poured the egg mixture into the pan with the veggies and bacon.

“Steve’s not downstairs. Must’ve gone for his morning run, the freak,” Bucky grinned, sipping his coffee.

“He was reading a book?” TJ frowned softly, “he gave you your medicine and then sat in the chair and started reading.”

“Ah, that’s why I didn’t see him. I’m still loopy and in need of more drugs,” Bucky nodded. “So, maybe I need to skip the drugs for a bit more? Or did he leave while we were busy, Teej?”

“Don’t know,” TJ answered, plating the first omelet and passing the dish to Clint so the blond could put the pieces of toast on. “Didn’t see him leave . . .”

Bucky chuckled, “we were kinda busy, big brother.”

Clint took care of the toast and handed the plate off to Bucky. He continued making more toast for the group.

TJ hummed softly and began making the second omelet, “well, wherever he is, I hope he comes back soon or he’ll miss breakfast. Omelets don’t really keep well.”

The sound of footsteps from the dungeon came to the group and Steve walked into the room, offering a smile. “I smell food. Anyone want help?”

“Definitely need to wait for more drugs,” Bucky murmured to himself. “Swear I didn’t see him down there.”

“He did give you the drugs,” TJ laughed softly and then looked over at Steve, “hungry for omelets and toast, Steve?”

“Yeah, sounds great, pet,” Steve answered with a smile. “And I gave you enough meds, Bucky. No more until lunch time. Just take it easy on that arm.”

WIth a sigh, Bucky nodded and began eating. “Maybe need to switch to a different drug. That one makes me loopy and forgetful.”

“Don’t most pain killers?” TJ asked, finishing up with the second omelet and handing the plate over to Clint before starting on the third. “I mean . . .” the brunet flushed slightly and shrugged, “most of the ones I took had the same effect.”

Nodding, Steve dropped a kiss on TJ’s temple. “So, we do every other dose as an over-the-counter, not the heavier stuff. Ween Bucky off,” he suggested.

“Good idea,” TJ nodded, biting at his bottom lip, “addiction is a bitch to kick.”

“Okay, I guess some pain now beats the hell later,” Bucky agreed readily enough. “I hate being loopy.”

“Yeah, it’s a weird feeling,” TJ agreed with a nod.

Steve got a cup of coffee and smiled at Nat then turned to his husband. Sipping his hot drink, he asked, “do you two want a date night tonight? You can use the bedroom or one of the other bedrooms on our floor, or the dungeon if Nat and Clint aren’t using it. I’ve got some work to research for the museum training I’m in.”

TJ blinked, looking surprised as his head snapped up and he looked at Steve. The smaller man managed to plate the fourth omelet before it burned. “Date night?” TJ asked softly, a small smile lighting up his features. He looked at Bucky and said, “you up for it, Buck?” TJ didn't want to push Bucky into something he wasn't ready for with his still healing arm. “I'm good with just watching movies or whatever, too.” TJ wanted to do more than sit around all day; it was the first time in two weeks that he didn't feel the overwhelming pounding in his head, the first time he felt like he could actually _live_ again. However, TJ knew Bucky was still very much in pain and didn't want his twin to accidentally hurt himself worse by rushing things too fast.

”I’d like a date night, Teej. Just bring the _Tylenol_ and we can take it easy, yeah?” Bucky smiled, delighted by the prospect. Their last date night had, of course, ended in that horrible attack. Bucky wanted to erase some of that memory with a new date.

Steve smiled and dropped a kiss on TJ’s forehead then another on Bucky’s. “Good, I can work happily knowing my guys are content and occupied.”

Clint grinned and glanced to his girlfriend, “I don’t think we’re using the dungeon tonight. Got plans to hit a dinner club and go dancing.”

“Yup,” Natasha grinned, shooting a quick wink in Bucky and TJ’s direction, “dungeon is all your’s tonight.”

Smiling widely, TJ nodded and finished making the rest of the omelets for his family. He was excited over the prospect of getting a date night with his brother. After everyone else was fed, TJ sat at the breakfast bar, next to Bucky, with his own plate and began eating.

Bucky looked as happy as his twin. He gave Steve a wide smile and finished eating. “I was thinking about the cases, actually, and what else we can do. Any idea, Clint?”

The police officer looked up and swallowed then shook his head. “Just be on hand to testify when needed. He has the right to face his accuser, so TJ is going to have to be on hand in the court when the judge calls for him. Anyone else as a witness, like Tasha, too. But most people won’t be staying in the courtroom all the time. Just TJ and his lawyers.”

Looking over at Clint, TJ bit his bottom lip and asked softly, “do you really think they’re gonna bring in Liam?” The smaller brunet had gone through the mortifying process with his lawyers of explaining what his ex-boyfriend had done to him, what TJ had let him do, and he hated the idea that he’d have to go through that again.

“We can ask Matt and Foggy,” Steve said, “and it’s not _you_ on the stand TJ, so it’s possible you won’t need to be in the room if Liam does testify. But I don’t see a reason he will. It’s only for reference. If the other side tries to use Liam against you, Matt’s pretty confident we can get that shut down.”

Releasing a deep breath, TJ nodded and went back to eating his breakfast, “yeah . . . good, that’s good.”

Several minutes passed before TJ had finished his meal and he went around to pick up everyone’s dishes to begin cleaning them. TJ had no problem doing the cooking and dishes; since he didn’t work, TJ figured he could make sure his family was fed and the house was clean.

“Thanks, pet,” Steve said softly, kissing TJ as his husband took the plate.

“No problem,” TJ smiled. As he rinsed the plates before putting them in the dishwasher, TJ called over his shoulder, “hey, Buck? Ever hear back for that translating job? Or did that opportunity go out the window when the museum canceled the traveling bit for Steve’s job?”

“Yeah, lost that one. They said they didn’t need a translator any more, but I’m not too bummed. I would have been traveling away from everyone if I got it.” Bucky sighed and got another cup of coffee, carefully placing the mug on the counter so he could stir in vanilla. “I’ve been looking online for now, but nothing.” Something in his voice made the job hunt sound a bit more frustrating than it should have been.

“Any teaching jobs? Could look into some in New Jersey?” TJ suggested, glancing over at his twin as he began putting the plates in the machine. He grabbed the pan to begin handwashing that one.

Bucky had a frown on his face and his eyes looked angry, but he was looking into his coffee, not at anyone specific. “Yeah, put in for a couple. No go.”

Frowning softly, TJ looked at Bucky. He finished with the pan and put it in the drainer to air dry. Moving over to his brother, TJ asked, “did the Academy give you a bad recommendation or something?”

Sighing, Bucky nodded, “yeah, they did. I managed to snag one from the interviewer when he was answering a call on his cell. It lists me as having deviant behavior that might bleed into the classroom and hints that I was _fired_ for inappropriate actions on school property. It suggests that the police were _not_ brought in but that the decision was a close one.” Bucky pushed the mug away and shook his head. “Fucking, Pierce.”

“I’ll go to that school and get them to fucking give you a good recommendation! You weren’t even fired! You quit!” TJ looked livid, pale eyes flashing in anger, “I can call Matt and see if there’s anything he can do. They’re lying and making it hard for you to find another job!”

“Defamation of character and libel,” Clint put in. “Talk to Matt. The Academy is pulling something very illegal, Bucky.”

“Yeah, I’ll call Matt. Get him to make them give you the recommendation you deserve. Pierce needs to be arrested! The man is fucking nuts!” TJ shook his head.

“No,” Bucky said softly, “he’s a fucking politician. Yeah, let’s talk to Matt.”

“I’ll call him first thing Monday,” TJ promised and finished cleaning up the rest of the kitchen.

Bucky turned and handed TJ the still full, very hot, mug of vanilla-flavored coffee. “Gonna go get some rest. Thanks for breakfast.” He walked towards the upstairs not the basement, climbing slowly towards their second floor rooms.

Frowning, TJ looked at the coffee and then at Bucky’s retreating figure. He thought they were going to be spending the day together, but maybe he’d misunderstood. The smaller brunet didn’t say anything, not wanting to upset Bucky further.

Steve reached over and took the mug from TJ, smiling. “Don’t waste that. I’ll drink it while I work. Might wanna get drinks and some food that will last and the meds and go follow him. I think he just wants to escape this conversation, Teej.” He kissed TJ’s temple.

“Yeah . . . okay,” TJ murmured and then got to work on collecting some snacks and some bottled water. Steve put a bottle of over-the-counter meds on the tray then headed for the living room. Taking a deep breath, TJ offered Clint and Natasha a small smile.

Clint grinned. “Seen people in all moods and situations, Teej,” the cop said. “He wants alone time with you, without the outside world. Go have some fun. Cuddle and stuff. You both need it.”

TJ nodded and then left the kitchen, heading upstairs to the floor he shared with Bucky and Steve. Carefully balancing the tray between one arm and his hip, TJ eased the master bedroom door open.

Bucky sat by the window, looking sad and angry. He looked over at TJ and wiped at his eyes furiously. “Hey, brother mine.” He didn’t sound off-putting, more welcoming. And for the first time since the attack, Bucky wore his twin collar and triskelion chain.

“Hey, got some snacks and water and stuff. Also your medicine for a few hours from now,” TJ gave his twin a soft smile. He walked over to the desk and set the tray on it.

“Thanks,” Bucky glanced at the tray then back to TJ. “I want things to go back to normal, but this stupid arm reminds me to take it slow . . . real slow.”

“Have all day,” TJ said, meeting his brother’s eyes, “can do whatever you want with me, all day, Bucky. No need to rush anything.”

“Wanna sit with you and stare out the window at the snow. See? We’ve got snow, Teej.” Bucky gestured with his right hand to the flurries outside.

Walking over, TJ watched as the snow fell, “that we do,” he commented softly.

Bucky gently tugged TJ onto his lap and encircled him with the good arm, careful of his left. He kissed the back of TJ’s neck. “Love you, so much, big brother.”

“Love you, too, Buck,” TJ assured his twin, continuing to watch the snow storm outside.

Softly, Bucky continued kissing TJ’s neck, moving his collar to get at more skin. “Love how you care so much about all of us. You take good care of us, Teej. I . . . I miss that about Dad. He was an alcoholic ass, but he _did_ take good care of the house and providing for us and stuff. I always felt like I wouldn’t starve or wind up on the street like some of the kids I knew.”

Humming softly, TJ turned his head to glance at Bucky, “I just cook and stuff . . . don’t actually do much of the providing.”

“TJ, what you do for us you do out of love. You’re not getting paid for it.” Bucky smiled suddenly, eyes crinkling a bit, “and all of us love that you want to do it. It makes things so much nicer, easier, not to have to worry about the things like cooking and cleaning while everything is whirling around. You provide peace of mind, comfort, and love.” He kissed the hollow of TJ’s throat.

Extending his neck, inviting more of Bucky’s kisses, TJ said, “it’s the least I can do. Everyone else works so hard, ya know?”

Letting out a snort, Bucky continued to kiss TJ’s neck, not pointing out that _he_ didn’t have a job, either. “Taking care of a house is hard work, especially with four other people in it.”

Shrugging, TJ said, “not that hard.” Looking at his twin, TJ continued, “you’re gonna find a job, Buck. We’ll get that recommendation fixed up and then people will be fighting each other to hire you.”

“Don’t wanna talk about that,” Bucky murmured into TJ’s neck. “Wanna snack.” He nipped lightly then lapped at the red mark.

TJ let out a soft sigh but didn’t push his brother to talk, simply let the larger brunet nip and lap at his neck. He didn’t move too much, not wanting to accidentally jostle Bucky’s injured arm.

Lifting his mouth, Bucky asked, “you okay, Teej? I can stop if you wanna do something else today.”

“I’m good,” TJ offered Bucky a smile, “just don’t wanna accidentally hurt you. If I move too much, I might brush up against your arm or something.”

Bucky nodded. He tapped TJ’s hip. “Stand up, brother mine.”

TJ obeyed, carefully sliding off his brother’s lap and then waited for more instructions.

Bucky struggled to get out of his sweats and boxers, letting them pool on the floor. He hadn’t put on a shirt that day, so was nude when he sank back down. “Okay, come sit on me. We can at least feel each other more this way. His cock was only taking slight interest, nowhere near fully hard at the moment.

“Clothed or not?” TJ asked, gesturing to his own sweats.

Grinning, Bucky said, “good boy. Naked, brother mine. Wanna feel us both get excited to touch.”

Smiling, TJ nodded and pulled off his sweats; he hadn’t put on underwear so was completely naked after letting the pants fall to the floor. The smaller brunet carefully straddled Bucky’s waist, their cocks brushing together with each movement.

Letting out a soft whimper of pleasure, Bucky began caressing TJ’s hip, leaning in to kiss at his twin’s neck once more, nibblling and lapping. “Missed this. Think Steve’ll want a turn later, but glad you’re mine right now. Later I’ll wanna taste him, too. But my TJ is right here in my arms, at last.”

“Never wanna be anywhere else,” TJ murmured, his shaft beginning to twitch and fill under Bucky’s attention. “Don’t like us being hurt where we can’t do this.”

Bucky’s cock responded to TJ’s, shifting and swelling, sliding against TJ’s cock with each little movement, each breath. “Missed this so much . . .” He kissed TJ’s lips, long and loving, then began sliding his tongue in, tasting.

TJ’s mouth opened willingly, letting his brother’s tongue taste him. “Want to feel you in me, Buck . . . didn’t get to that earlier.”

“You even ready for me?” Bucky gasped, pulling his mouth away from TJ’s. “Don’t wanna hurt you and I can’t reach the lube from here.”

The smaller brunet eased off of his twin’s lap again and moved to grab the lube from the bedside table. Walking back to Bucky, TJ didn’t sit back down yet, “want to stay in the chair or will it be more comfortable for you on the bed?”

“Let’s move to the bed, brother mine. Wanna fuck you right, like you deserve. You gonna ride my cock?” Bucky asked, pushing up from the chair, using his right arm for balance, and standing, cock swollen and hitting his abdomen.

“Love riding you, baby brother,” TJ smiled, moving with Bucky towards the bed. He helped his twin get situated on the mattress, up against the pillows so the larger brunet wouldn’t put any strain on his left arm. TJ crawled onto the bed and knelt over Bucky’s lap; he opened the lube and coated his fingers, beginning to stretch himself open for his lover.

Smiling, Bucky clasped TJ’s hip with his good hand and watched, making soft, appreciative hums and keens. “So damn pretty for me, TJ. So damn pretty.” He used his strong stomach muscles to curl up so he could lap at TJ’s cockhead. “Taste so good.”

Gasping, TJ’s hips inadvertently canted into Bucky’s mouth. He pushed his fingers in deeper with a low moan, “B - - Buck . . .” He scissored his fingers, trying to get himself ready as fast as possible.

The tone in TJ’s voice spurred Bucky on and he lapped again, letting his tongue slid over and slightly in TJ’s slit before circling the plump head once more. “So damn tasty. Should been doing this to you when we were sixteen, brother mine.” Bucky’s own cock leaked a bit of precum in anticipation.

Breath hitching in the back of his throat, TJ nodded, his cheeks flushing as he easily added a third finger. “Woulda . . . loved that, Bucky. Woulda loved been your’s all this time . . .”

“You were mine,” Bucky hummed, “just neither of us knew it. Gonna make up for that. Gonna fill you up all day long. Gonna sleep inside my big brother where I belong.” Bucky grinned and lapped again at the bobbing cockhead before him.

TJ keened and thrust his fingers in and out a few more times before he took them out completely. “‘M ready, Buck . . . please . . .” the smaller brunet lowered himself slightly, his ass brushing over Bucky’s hard cock.

Nodding, Bucky stretched back out on the bed, letting his stomach relax from the curl he’d been holding. He sighed and smiled up at his twin. “Impale yourself on my cock, Teej. Fuck me.” His tone had taken on the tenor of an order, low and serious though filled with desire.

Mewling, TJ sank down on Bucky’s shaft, his walls stretching and convulsing around his twin’s cock. Letting out a groan, TJ didn’t stop until he was fully seated on Bucky’s lap. Once bottomed out, TJ didn’t move, letting himself enjoy the feeling of his brother filling him so full . . . a feeling he’d missed for what felt like forever.

Groaning long and low as his cock was engulfed in TJ’s hot passage, Bucky pushed his head back into the pillows, canting his hips up to meet the downthrust. Opening pale eyes, he smiled almost dreamily up at his twin. “Yeah . . . that’s what I need. Been missing this forever, brother.” Bucky didn’t move on his own, voluntarily, making TJ do the work, as Bucky had ordered.

After a few moments, TJ began to slowly lift himself off Bucky’s cock, only to sink back down. He languidly fucked himself on his twin’s shaft, letting Bucky feel every movement, every thrust making TJ’s walls convulse. “Love you, Buck . . . God, I love how you fill me. Fill me just right.” 

“Made for you,” Bucky let go of TJ’s hip to caress over his abdomen then carefully grip TJ’s swollen cock. He didn’t move his hand much, just languidly letting TJ’s rhythm move the shaft in his grip. “You feel just right no matter how we touch, Teej. I love you . . . love us.” Bucky gave TJ a lopsided smile, eyes half closed in lust.

“You wanna do this all day long?” TJ purred, leaning forward, still rolling his hips, to kiss Bucky’s lips. “You want me fucking myself on your cock all day, Buck? I can make you feel so good.”

“No matter how we do it, I plan to stay deep inside you all day, Teej. I wanna fill you and fuck you and fill you again. You are gonna be dripping Bucky cum, and I’ll still fuck you. But for now? Yeah, wanna just lay here and have you fuck yourself on me. Love feeling every bit of you inside. So damn perfect.” Bucky remained in his leisurely pose, his hand still wrapped around TJ but making no overt movements of his own.

Keening softly, TJ nuzzled at Bucky’s neck and then pulled back, letting his brother have a view of his entire body. The smaller brunet kept that same pace for a long time, not pushing either of them towards orgasm, simply making both of them feel good . . . feel one another. Eventually, TJ shifted his hips so Bucky’s cock hit his prostate with almost every thrust, making TJ pick up his pace, bottoming out with a flesh-slapping noise each and every time.

Groaning, Bucky tightened his hold on TJ’s cock and began moving his arm in pace with TJ’s new strokes. He used his legs to cant up, meeting TJ’s thrusts. “You wanna be filled and dripping, brother mine?” Bucky growled softly. “Wanna feel me pump into you, hard and deep?”

“God, yes,” TJ moaned, his hips stuttering with Bucky’s tightened hold on his shaft. “Fill me, please, Buck . . .”

“You’re the one that’s supposed to be fucking yourself, Teej. If you wanna be full of my hot cum, you’re gonna have to drag it from me,” Bucky teased on a growl, still thrusting in time with his twin’s movements. “Fuck me harder . . .”

With a keen, TJ obeyed, moving faster and harder on Bucky’s cock. He didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to last with this new pace, but the smaller brunet was determined to make his twin cum first.

Groaning deeply, Bucky pushed his head back into the pillows again, “Teej . . . close . . . my God, you’re good! Gonna . . . nearly there . . . “ He continued his long, tight strokes on TJ’s cock, his hips rising and dropping to meet TJ’s intense rhythm. Bucky could feel his balls tightening, his heavy shaft getting ready to unload, “gonna . . .” and he shouted out as his orgasm blew over him, Bucky releasing hot loads of cum into TJ’s ass, over and over again as he keened.

As he felt his brother filling him, TJ mewled and let himself tumble over the edge, painting Bucky’s hand and abdomen with thick white cum. He panted as he rode out the waves of his orgasm, managing to keep himself upright to avoid putting any weight on Bucky’s left arm.

“My TJ,” Bucky finally moaned out, relaxing back as his orgasm faded. He smiled up at his twin. “How are you at cleaning us up then getting back over here on my cock? I’ve still got a semi for you, big brother.” Bucky did thrust his hips up a couple of times to continue the stimulation inside TJ’s passage.

TJ moaned and nodded, carefully pulling off Bucky’s semi-hard cock. He hurried into the bathroom to grab some towels, wetting them in the sink before returning back to the bed.

Bucky lay where TJ left him, a cheshire cat smile on his face, watching TJ move around nude and dripping cum. “Damn, so gorgeous, brother. Look at you, filled with your baby brother’s cum.” He reached up to stroke at TJ’s hip, carefully using his left hand. It felt kitten weak but he at least attempted to use it, despite the underlying threads of pain.

Flushing slightly, TJ smiled as he cleaned Bucky up. He used one of his hands to help him sink back on Bucky’s cock with an obscene noise. TJ continued to clean Bucky’s hand and chest as his brother’s shaft filled him once more. After they were both cleaned, TJ set the towel aside, next to the clean ones he’d thought to grab.

Bucky smiled up at TJ and softly invited, “wanna move this to my right side? We can lie together and nap a bit while I fill you?”

Smiling, TJ nodded. He helped Bucky carefully maneuver them so they lay on their sides, Bucky still deeply embedded in TJ’s ass. Once against the pillow, TJ could feel his usual post-orgasmic tiredness hitting him. “Love you, Buck . . .” TJ murmured softly.

“Love you, too, TJ,” Bucky breathed into TJ;’s shoulder, kissing his neck and clavicle, his hand caressing up TJ’s abdomen to his chest, lightly, tenderly. “When we wake up, we can start over with that trying to beat the world fucking record,” he teased.


	25. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: Angst, PTSD triggers, flashbacks, dealing with trauma in court, barely-legal maneuverings, witness badgering**

TJ paced outside the courtroom doors, chewing his bottom lip as his fingers tapped anxiously against his thighs. He was waiting to be called in, waiting to testify against the man who brutally raped him and tried to do it again a second time. It’d be the first time he saw Brock Rumlow since that second attack in the classroom closet. TJ would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t scared . . . he was downright terrified. Logically he knew that Brock couldn’t hurt him in the courtroom, that there were many guards in place to keep Brock away . . . but that didn’t stop his mind from fearing that very exact thing. TJ was terrified that the violent man would figure out a way to get him alone again, that Brock would brutalize him again . . . and maybe this time kill him for all the trouble he’d caused.

The door opened and a bailiff announced his name, TJ looked at the man and then back at his family. Because of TJ’s _celebrity_ status, the courtroom was being strictly monitored, no cameras and no outside parties, which TJ was mostly grateful for, but that also meant none of his family were allowed in either. Taking and releasing a deep breath, TJ nodded and followed the bailiff into the courtroom. He felt his heart rate pick up at the sight of Rumlow, even if he couldn’t see the man’s face yet; TJ was in the same room as his attacker once more.

Forcing down his fears, TJ tried to keep his breathing steady; he couldn’t pass out . . . he had to show Brock that he hadn’t broken him. After he completed the oath, TJ sat on the stand and his eyes nervously flickered over to look at Brock, taking in the face of the man he hadn’t seen in a few months . . . the face that constantly haunted TJ’s nightmares.

Sitting at the defense table, Brock looked - - normal. Dressed in a nice suit, shaven, well groomed, Brock sat with his hands clasped on the table, almost as if in prayer but not quite. He looked handsome and trustworthy, like a man one _could_ trust. He let his eyes flicker to TJ then away, as if unable to meet his gaze, and Brock suddenly got a morose, confused look, which the jurors observed avidly.

Matt stood up and walked over to the witness stand, offering TJ a gentle smile. “Please state your full name for the record.”

“Thomas James Hammond-Rogers,” TJ answered, his voice slightly shaky even with his efforts to keep his fear out of his tone.

“And, Mr. Rogers,” Matt said, “could you, in your own words, please tell the court what happened on the day . . .”

Matt’s voice was kind and firm, take charge, much like Steve’s when TJ was afraid to do something. Dominating and kind, without using any leading questions, Matt took TJ through the series of events briskly, never letting TJ dwell on the events longer than necessary. At the end, standing next to TJ directly, Matt whispered so only the judge and TJ could hear, “you will answer the other lawyer honestly and calmly, TJ. Afterwards, you will get to rest.”

Once Matt sat down, the defense lawyer stood.

TJ watched the defense lawyer; he knew that this line of questioning would be a lot harder. He tried to brace himself for the worse, knowing he had to keep calm.

The defense attorney walked over, sounding almost friendly as he asked, “Mr. Hammond-Rogers, you realize you are still under oath, yes?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ answered with a nod, not taking his eyes off the man.

“Good,” he smiled. “Tell the court how long you worked at the school, please, before the incidents?”

“I worked at the school for a week before the first attack and then the second was about three weeks after that,” TJ answered honestly.

Surprisingly the lawyer did not protest TJ’s use of the word _attack_ while he was speaking, unlike in movies. Instead, he politely waited for TJ to finish before saying, “please note the inflammatory word _attacks_ should most likely be adjusted to _events_ until after judgement. It is those very events which are being questioned.” He offered TJ a smile while the judge said nothing. Apparently, the lawyer had only been reminding the jury of the word difference.

“Now, Mr. Hammond-Rogers, how long had you known the defendant before the first event?” the lawyer still sounded pleasant, conversational. Brock watched TJ intently.

“Two weeks. I’d first met him the week before school started,” TJ tried not to look at Brock, but he could feel the man’s intense gaze, and it made him squirm slightly in his seat. He really wished Bucky and Steve had been allowed in.

Nodding, the lawyer looked over at the jury and offered a friendly smile, as well. He turned back to TJ and slipped between him and the vision of Brock at the defense table. “And how many dates did you go on before the first event, please?”

“Dates? None. I never dated Mr. Rumlow,” TJ tried to keep the shock out of his tone.

“Oh, not even a casual drink, perhaps? Not a date precisely but a social meeting?” the lawyer prompted, his voice gentle.

“I never went on a date or a casual drink with Mr. Rumlow,” TJ stated again, meeting the defense lawyer’s eyes.

The lawyer surprisingly looked kind, understanding, and concerned. He leaned very slightly forward and gently said, “you had just moved to the state, the city, is that correct?”

“Yes, Sir,” TJ agreed with a nod, worried about where the other man was going with this line of questioning.

“Would you indulge the court by tell us how many, even casual, friends you had already made by the time of the first incident? In the city, in the school, not before the move,” he chuckled.

Furrowing his brows, looking confused, TJ opened his mouth to speak.

Matt stood up, “Sir, relevancy? How is this line of questioning relevant to the charges against the defendant?”

Smiling, as if Matt’s charge didn’t bother him, the defense lawyer turned to the judge and quite clearly said, “we have evidence to state that Mr. Hammond-Roges had few social friends even back in DC, and that he had a well-known habit of hiring others for sexual encounters. And at least one of those hired people would play at rape fantasies for the witness.”

Matt practically roared, “my witness is not the one on trial!”

The judge shook his head, “get to the real point, counsel. Jury, you are to strike said allegations from the record as unproven hearsay.”

The defense lawyer frowned, only momentarily, but enough that TJ could see he had been playing at being nice and understanding. He strolled back to his table and flipped through his notes for a moment as Matt looked in TJ’s direction, just over his shoulder, and smiled in encouragement.

TJ saw the smile but he felt shaken to his core. He’d never hired _anyone_ to play at rape fantasies for him . . . he _had_ hired a few men after Sean but they were all gentle and nice with him. TJ moved his eyes to look at the defense lawyer, shaking slightly.

The defense lawyer turned around again, his gentle demeanor back in place. Walking over to TJ, he asked carefully, “Mr. Hammond, what was the nature of your relationship with the defendant?”

“He was a co-worker . . . that was all,” TJ answered, trying to get his nerves back under control.

Nodding, the lawyer asked, “do you need a moment, Mr. Hammond-Rogers? I know you have a problem in high stress situations. Wouldn’t want to send you to the hospital or anything.”

“Your honor, the comments are insulting and derogatory!” Matt again protested. “There has been no proof in this court that my witness needs special attention.”

“Defense Counsel,” the judge sounded weary, “please limit your questions and comments to the case at hand. If the witnesses need a break, the court will decide.”

“Yes, sir,” the defense lawyer readily agreed. But the idea had been planted in the jury’s mind: TJ was unable to handle prolonged social pressure.

TJ looked between the defense lawyer and Matt before taking a deep breath and saying, “I don’t need a moment. I’m fine. Thank you.”

Nodding, the lawyer said, “you were a co-worker who’d known the defendant for two weeks, one of which was in a working capacity, am I correct?”

“Yes, sir,” TJ agreed with a nod.

“And what was the nature of the _other_ week of your relationship?” the lawyer pressed.

“What?” TJ blinked; then the lawyer’s previous question replayed in his mind and TJ knew he’d fallen right into the trap the other man had set. “We were _just‘Tell the court how long you worked at the school, please, before the incidents?’_ Witness answered _‘I worked at the school for a week before the first attack and then the second was about three weeks after that.’_ Defense said, _‘Now, Mr. Hammond-Rogers, how long had you known the defendant before the first event?’_ and the witness answered, _‘Two weeks. I’d first met him the week before school started’_.” The clerk looked up from her screen.

“Thank you,” the defense lawyer said, his smile similar to a shark on the hunt. “So, Mr. Hammond, did you _only_ work with this man or was there another kind of relationship? You stated you worked one week but knew him two.”

“The only time I’d seen Mr. Rumlow that first week was at the _Academy_. We were both on school property,” TJ said evenly.

“But if you hadn’t started work yet, you couldn’t have been _co-workers_ when you first met, is that correct? Or did you lie about the length of your employment or the nature of your relationship?” the defense lawyer went in for the kill.

Matt stood and roared, “badgering my witness!”

Before the judge could say anything, the defense lawyer rebutted, “I was only trying to figure out which part of his testimony was false. Can’t have an untrustworthy witness on the stand.”

“I’d been teaching for a week before the first attack but I was hired a few weeks before. I’m sorry, I misunderstood your question, sir,” TJ tried to correct his wrong, not wanting to end up in jail for perjury over something so small.

“Oh,” the defense lawyer nodded and offered a smile. “And have you misunderstood any of the other questions presented you?”

“No, sir,” TJ answered.

Nodding, the defense lawyer looked to the jury and offered the slightest of shrugs and a slightly frustrated-looking smile. He turned back to TJ and slowed his speech down, as if that would help TJ understand better, “Mr. Hammond-Rogers, have you ever accused someone else of _attacking_ you?”

Shaking his head, knowing he’d never gone to anyone about Liam, other than Anne and she’d promised never to tell anyone, TJ said, “no, sir. I have never accused anyone else of attacking me.”

“And you voluntarily participated in all previous relationship encounters? With friends, lovers, that sort of thing?” the lawyer asked, pleasant and slow.

TJ looked at Matt, his heart rate picking up slightly at the question.

Matt’s face was twisted into a frown. He looked frustrated and very angry. Slowly, as if sensing TJ’s eyes on him, Matt stood. “Your honor, this current line of questioning has done nothing to forward our understanding of the case but is in the line of taunting or badgering the witness. My witness is not on trial, the defendant is. If the defense counsel has nothing pertinent to the events to ask, I request my witness be released.”

The judge nodded. “Defense, where is this line of questioning leading?”

Nodding, the lawyer said, “as I pointed out before, your honor, I have evidence that states this witness is in the habit of hiring temporary lovers and even playing in rape fantasies. I put forward that _this_ was the nature of the encounters with the defendant, as a hired sexual encounter for a rape fantasy.”

The judge sighed and said, “bring me your evidence. Jurors, please strike the line of questioning from the record. Leave only the witness’s name, length of relationship, stated manner of relationship, and length of work. The rest is to be thrown out.” As the defense lawyer, looking smug, handed over his file folder, the judge glanced over the first couple of pages. “Very well. Enter this file into evidence, but do not question about it until the court has had a chance to peruse the submitted evidence. Court is adjourned until tomorrow at oh-eight-hundred in order to review this evidence.”

Matt stood, “your honor, a private word with the counsel and the court, please?”

“Granted. In my chambers counsel.” The judge rose, forcing everyone in the court to stand, and led both attorneys from the room.

Foggy stood and walked over to TJ, placing a hand on his shoulder as the jurors filed out. Once the room was cleared, Foggy looked at TJ. “He’s deliberately bringing up things he knows won’t be allowed. He’s trying to make you break down, Teej.”

Still trembling slightly, TJ looked up at Foggy, “he’s gonna get away with it, Foggy,” the brunet whimpered softly. It didn’t matter that the jury was _supposed_ to ignore the evidence about Liam, they’d heard it . . . that idea would be in their minds when they decided if Brock was guilty or not.

Foggy sighed and squeezed TJ’s shoulder gently. “Wanna get outta here?” he asked.

Nodding, TJ swallowed thickly and carefully stood up. His eyes moved to the chair where Brock had been sitting; he’d been so _close_ , and TJ felt like he needed a shower.

With a gentle smile, Foggy led TJ from the courtroom to the waiting room, where Steve and Bucky turned to approach. Steve enveloped TJ in a warm hug. He didn’t ask what happened or why they were released within ten minutes of start, merely held his husband close and safe.

TJ buried his face in Steve’s neck, breathing in his husband’s natural scent and not saying anything. Brock was going to get out . . . he’d come after him, hurt him again.

Bucky rubbed his hand up and down TJ’s back, limiting his public contact with his beloved brother since they were in New York.

Foggy slowly said, “now we know what game they’re playing at. Trying to discredit TJ as a confused desperate man with few social connections. Matt and I will rethink our presentation, but we can’t do anything tomorrow except keep protesting, until we get a chance to get you back on the stand. The defense lawyer’s playing dirty, trying to get TJ discredited.”

“Using Liam,” TJ murmured softly against Steve’s neck.

Foggy looked stunned, “my God, TJ, weren’t you paying attention? Liam’s the least of our worries! The way they’re headed, he’s going to use your suicide attempt and your overdose against you!”

“He’s gonna get out,” TJ sighed, sounding a mix of terrified and exhausted.

“Not if we can help it. Matt’s in with the judge right now. He’s fighting to get this lawyer suppressed!” Foggy looked towards the door nervously.

TJ didn’t lift his face, didn’t attempt to move away from his two lovers. He had no idea what was going to happen, but he had a feeling it wasn’t going to be good.

Finally Matt walked in, cane guiding his way around the doorframe. In a low growl, he said, “we can’t stop the defense calling TJ again, because we already used TJ and they have the right of cross-examining. However, the judge has forcefully reminded that ass that he’s only allowed to question you about things that _we_ questioned you about. And the judge has ordered that ass to use direct questions, no beating around the bush.” He turned his head in TJ’s direction. “In fact, the judge wants the ass to submit a list of questions he’ll be putting to you. The judge will decide which ones can be asked. It’s not done often, but in this case, it was deemed best.”

Nodding, TJ finally lifted his head, pale eyes looking miserable, “okay . . . well, that’s good?”

“Yes, it’ll keep the defense on the line of questioning instead of shooting into subjects we haven’t introduced, such as Liam or your mental health.” Matt sighed. “Let’s get outta here and go to the office. We’ll order out lunch and discuss this turn of events.”

**************

The next morning, TJ sat on the witness stand yet again, watching as the defense lawyer stood slowly. The slender brunet’s eyes moved over to look at Brock; he still wasn’t used to seeing his rapist again and he hated how _normal_ Brock looked. How could someone so plain looking be so _evil_?

The defense lawyer approached TJ with that same careful manner, that same gentle smile, as if he dealt with someone unstable. “Mr. Hammond-Rogers, you are still under oath, you recall?”

Eyes looking back at the defense lawyer, TJ nodded, “yes, sir. I recall.”

Nodding, the man asked, “you stated yesterday that the defendant raped you in a public classroom. Could you have misconstrued the actions of the defendant?”

Meeting the man’s eyes, TJ had to fight to keep the anger he felt out of his tone, “no, sir. There was no way I could have _misconstrued_ Mr. Rumlow’s actions.”

“The defendant states that he was interested in you and thought you were giving him body language cues that you, too, were interested. That it wasn’t a rape but a misunderstanding. Again, is it possible you misconstrued events? In your . . . confusion you _thought_ he pushed you too far too fast and determined to call it rape?”

“No, sir. I begged Mr. Rumlow to stop. I asked him over and over again to stop. But, he didn’t,” TJ stated firmly, eyes narrowed slightly.

“In the political field, of which you were raised and educated, is it common to say or do one thing and mean something else, Mr. Hammond-Rogers?” the lawyer smiled gently.

Matt bristled, but apparently that had been a question deemed acceptable by the judge.

“That was _not_ what happened when Mr. Rumlow raped me. I never gave him any cues to continue hurting me. I told him to stop, many times, and he didn’t,” TJ repeated; he didn’t sound scared or confused like the day before. He sounded sure of himself and a little angry.

“Mr. Hammond-Rogers, these events took place in a public classroom, am I correct?” the lawyer smiled still, apparently not bothered by TJ’s new confidence.

“Yes, sir,” TJ answered.

“And you have a history which involves enjoying at least one previous sexual liaison in a public forum?” the lawyer sounded pleasant enough, despite the question.

The question took TJ by surprise; he felt his stomach drop and his confidence seemed to be seeping out of him.

Matt apparently hadn’t expected that question, either, but _he_ hadn’t been the one approving the questions for the day. He blinked, and looked a little confused.

“I . . . what?” TJ swallowed thickly and looked at the defense lawyer.

Nodding, the lawyer said, “you have had sex in a public place where anyone, including children, could have witnessed it?” the lawyer reiterated.

TJ knew he couldn’t lie; if this man had evidence of that one time when he’d been just a stupid teenager and he lied . . . he’d be booked on perjury. “It . . . it was only once. I was seventeen . . . a long time ago.”

“Only once _before_ you had sex with Mr. Rumlow in a public classroom, correct?” the lawyer asked.

 

“I didn’t have sex with Mr. Rumlow in a public classroom. Mr. Rumlow _raped_ me,” TJ tried to stay calm, to not let the other man’s questions get to him.

Glancing at Matt then the judge, the defense lawyer said, “and there was at least one man you had regular sex with whom you engaged in _rape fantasies_ with, correct?”

Letting out a shaky breath, TJ nodded slowly, “yes . . .”

“Repeatedly, not just the one time encounter? You _repeatedly_ engaged in _rape fantasies_?” the lawyer pressed, much to Matt’s disgust.

“Yes . . . but, I stopped it when it got too far - -” TJ tried to salvage the situation but was interrupted.

“And,” the lawyer cut off TJ, “did any of those _rape fantasy_ encounters involve using protestations or the word _no_?”

TJ felt like his whole world was coming down around him . . . he couldn’t seem to take in a decent sized breath. “Yes . . .” TJ murmured. Shame making him flush brightly.

“Thank you, Mr. Hammond-Rogers. That will be all.” The lawyer turned his back on TJ, as if the witness didn’t matter in the least.

Looking at Matt and Foggy, TJ swallowed thickly and slowly began standing. He left the stand and managed to make it to one of the benches in the courtroom. TJ put his head in his hands and willed himself not to cry.

**************

The court case dragged on for three more days. Witnesses defending Brock’s character or defaming him were called, including Nat, Bucky, and Steve. Maria Hill testified at one point, as well, but TJ wasn’t permitted in the court for any of that. The last day, Clint and his work partner, Frank Castle, were finally called in to testify, but that ended with Clint exiting the courtroom and walking into the waiting room looking furious and disgusted.

He sat down next to Nat and growled, “they discredited me because I live at the house! Made it sound like I was taking sides instead of a true police witness!”

Nat put her hand on Clint’s knee and gave it a gentle squeeze, “that seems to be what they’re going for. Discrediting all the witnesses that support TJ.”

“I have never, ever, lied in court or in my police work!” Clint growled.

TJ, whose head lay on Steve’s strong shoulder, looked defeated and exhausted. He hadn’t gotten much sleep since that second day in court. He knew that Matt and Foggy could call in a hundred more character witnesses on his behalf but nothing could take away the fact that the jury had heard how TJ let someone play out their _rape_ fantasies on him.

Matt walked into the room and sank onto a chair, Foggy following with his box of evidence that hadn’t been accepted in court for one reason or another. The lawyers looked frustrated. Softly, Foggy said, “it’s gone to jury. Now we wait.”

“How long you supposed they’ll discuss it?” TJ murmured numbly.

“The could deliberate for days or only minutes. I’ve seen some juries make snap decisions in murder cases but stay in the jury room for a long time just so no one knew it was a snap decision. Usually the jury will take an immediate vote then discuss the details, trying to get everyone to change to a unanimous vote. Not all cases need unanimous, but we do need majority, and that means two-thirds. So, we need nine to convict.” Matt pulled out his phone. “Unless you guys wanna wait at home, we can get some lunch here and discuss what we plan to do next?”

“Not hungry,” TJ muttered, pale eyes watching the closed waiting room door.

“Well, this can go one of three ways. They can convict, best scenario. That’s when it goes into punishment phase and we basically do this again to prove how much punishment he should get. However, no one will be questioning witnesses, so TJ won’t be on the stand. Second option is acquittal, and with _double jeopardy_ , that means he won’t get tried again. He’ll be free. Third option is deadlocked or hung jury. They couldn’t come up with a decisive vote so they claim a mistrial. Thus, the judge gives us the option of a new trial or dropping charges.” Matt tilted his head, listening as Foggy pulled out his note book to start taking notes about what they discussed.

“If it’s a mistrial, I’ll have to do that all over again, won’t I?” TJ asked softly, eyes moving to watch the blind lawyer.

“Yes, you will,” Matt said. “And we’ll be prepared this time for that dirty trick of his. They’ll have no secrets this time. Thing is, neither do we.”

Sighing softly, TJ nodded and turned his face to nuzzle at Steve’s neck, needing comfort from his husband. Steve wrapped his arms around TJ tighter, cuddling his lover. He let his husband nuzzle and burrow.

“How long before they can claim a mistrial?” Bucky asked, frowning.

“Could be hours, could be days,” Foggy answered. “Up to the judge. This one is notorious for sending the jury back numerous times to deliberate, though. More like days.”

Natasha nodded and leaned closer to her boyfriend, “how long does everyone want to wait here?”

“My suggestion,” Steve sighed, “is we go home and wait to get called back. Only TJ will be allowed in the courtroom to hear the verdict, but they have to give him reasonable warning to appear.” Steve kissed TJ’s temple.

TJ nodded and said softly, “I want to go home.”

“Home, then,” Matt agreed. “As soon as we hear something, we’ll alert you. You’ll have an hour to get back, since you live over the bridge and the court knows how traffic goes. You won’t be excused to find parking so I suggest someone drives you over, drops you off, then looks for parking while you come in. We’ll meet you at the doors, TJ, so you won’t be alone.”

“Okay,” TJ nodded and pulled away from Steve enough so he could begin to stand, “thank you. Hopefully they won’t take too long . . .”

Matt nodded. “Hopefully the jury makes the right decision, TJ. Sometimes a defense lawyer can fool them. This man was crafty and twisted everything anyone said. Prepare for an acquittal, TJ.”

“We have Brock on video raping me and he might get away with it,” TJ sounded so defeated and miserable, “because I was stupid enough to let some asshole hurt me years ago.”

Matt sighed but didn’t deny it.

Steve guided his husband, followed by the others, from the room. They quickly made it home, but the atmosphere was subdued. No one seemed inclined to eat.

Once inside the front living room, Clint turned to TJ. “Got you something, honey,” he said softly and handed over a box.

TJ took the box robotically and looked down at it. Blinking in surprise, TJ looked back at Clint, “a taser? You really think Brock’s getting out, don’t you?”

“I didn’t get it because of this trial, TJ. I got it for you the day I moved in. I just forgot to give it to you and found it today in my stuff.” Clint looked sheepish. “I gave one to Tasha when we started dating. Home protection without being lethal. I think every citizen has the right . . .”

“Thanks, Clint,” TJ gave the smaller blond a soft smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “this . . . this is good.”

“And if Brock does get out, we’ve still got that restraining order. So if he comes near you? Aim for the nuts if you want, the face, the chest, anywhere that gets close.” Clint’s voice sounded harsh, his eyes narrowed in anger.

Nodding, TJ gave Clint another pained smile and then looked at Steve and Bucky, “can . . . can we go lay down? I - - I just . . . I wanna feel safe again.”

Bucky didn’t even question or protest TJ’s words. He reached out his almost completely healed left arm, hand grasping TJ’s. “Come on, brother mine. Let me hold you in our big bed.” He led TJ and Steve up the stairs to the second floor and into the master bedroom.

Once there, Bucky looked at TJ. “You want cuddles or cock warming or what, Teej? Anything you want.”

“Just . . . just cuddles,” TJ murmured, not feeling remotely sexual at that moment.

Nodding, Bucky picked up TJ and carried him to the bed, laying him down with a wince. He ignored his twinging arm and climbed in with his twin, wrapping himself around TJ from the front. Steve climbed in behind TJ and carefully cuddled from behind. Bucky smiled and nuzzled TJ’s neck, “TJ oreo.”

It was only then that TJ finally broke down, having been holding himself together with tearing threads for the last five days. He buried his face into Bucky’s chest and began to sob, harsh, body-shaking sobs. He clutched at his twin’s shirt, quickly soaking the fabric with his tears. The slender brunet didn’t say anything, unable to explain his overwhelming pain, shame and horror.

TJ’s cellphone rang.

Reaching into his pocket, TJ took a deep breath, trying to sound relatively normal when he answered, “Thomas Rogers . . .” his voice still sounded choked with tears.

“Hey, don’t hang up, okay?” the pleasant man’s voice was like a ghost from the past, “it’s Liam. Gotta say I was called by some creepy lawyer to testify against you in some case? He called me yesterday but I refused. Thought you should know, being we were friends once and all.”

“Friends?” TJ murmured, his voice cracking, “a _friend_ wouldn’t knock the other unconscious and then proceed to _fuck them_ anyways.”

A sigh came over the phone and Liam said, “yeah, I got that message loud and clear when we broke up, Teej. And I really am sorry about that. I took it way too far. I heard you found someone to treat you right and I’m glad. You deserve nice things and nice people. But, I didn’t call to bring up ugly things I did to you. I wanted you to know that if you need me as a witness _for_ you, I can tell the court that I was the one who went too far, that you broke it off cause you didn’t like the fantasies I did to you?”

“You go on the stand and admit that . . . you’d be admitting to rape,” TJ stated bluntly; he still sounded upset and a little wrecked from crying.

“Yeah, I guess, but technically it’s not rape until you tell me no for real and I continue. And since you broke it off, I never once touched you, right?” Liam sounded worried.

“I was unconscious! I couldn’t consent to shit,” TJ snapped.

“No, Teej, I mean _after_ that time. I never touched you after you told me to fuck off. So, if you need to put that fucker away that like _really_ raped you in that school? I can help . . . if you want?” Liam sounded confused and worried by then.

“I’ll let you know. He may be acquitted because they found out what I let you do to me,” TJ muttered bitterly.

“But I didn’t get the chance to tell them that I basically made you do that, told you that you’d do it if you loved me, and all that stupid selfish manipulative stuff I did back then,” Liam protested.

“Well, it’s too late now. If it’s a mistrial and we need you as a witness I’ll let my lawyers get a hold of you. Until then, please don’t talk to me again,” TJ said.

Sounding confused, Liam asked, “Teej, why didn’t you have the lawyers call me in the first place? It’s not like you _asked_ for my crap.”

“We were trying to not bring it up at all. Now, can you please leave me alone?” TJ pleaded, hand that held the phone to his ear shaking.

“Okay, well, if you need my help, have your lawyers contact me.” Liam gave his information to TJ. “Sorry that ass brought this up. Congratulations on your wedding and all.” He hung up at least.

TJ sighed and tossed his phone away, letting it thump against the soft mattress. TJ burrowed back against Bucky and let out a shaky sigh.

“What the hell?” Bucky growled softly. “Was that former asshole boyfriend Sean?”

“No, that was Liam,” TJ murmured, not lifting his head, “said he was sorry and will testify for me if we need him to. Tell them how he manipulated me . . .”

Steve sighed and nuzzled at TJ’s neck, kissing the individual bumps on the top of his spine, going down, slowly. “Love you, TJ Rogers,” he said.

“Love you both,” TJ muttered softly, “I fucked up so much.”

“We all did, TJ. Not a person in the world escapes without regrets and wishing for do-overs. Let’s just cuddle and love each other. Let the world go for a few hours,” Steve suggested.

“My whole life is one regret after another until I came to New York,” TJ let out another breath and nuzzled at Bucky’s strong chest, ignoring the wet spot he’d caused from his crying.

Bucky reached down and opened TJ’s pants, reaching in to stroke over his boxers, right over his cock and balls, in a gentle caress, nothing demanding. “Relax, big brother. We’re here because we love you, mistakes and all.”

TJ let out a quiet gasp at Bucky’s caresses, but his body didn’t seem to respond in his typical way. The smaller brunet let out a breath, letting his body slowly relax between both his lovers.

Bucky kept up the gentle contact, never dipping into TJ’s boxers, just a petting motion, a way to sooth in a most intimate place. “Love my big brother,” Bucky murmured into TJ’s hair. “So good to us, so loving.”

Several minutes passed like that, TJ embraced in both Bucky and Steve’s arms before he finally drifted off into a light doze.

**************

Just like Matt and Foggy predicted the judge had sent the jury back to deliberate three times over the course of four days and by the end of the fourth day, TJ just wanted an end to this whole trial . . . one way or another. He didn’t want to wait anymore; he didn’t want to keep being called back only to hear that the jury was deadlocked and the judge not accepting that and sending them back to reach a verdict. TJ didn’t know if he could handle anymore waiting . . . he hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in over a week and the slender brunet was emotionally and physically drained.

Matt had called him again saying the jury was out once more. He trudged up the courthouse steps to where Matt and Foggy stood. Steve had driven him over and was looking for a place to park, just like the other three times this had happened. TJ offered his two lawyers an exhausted, miserable looking smile as he reached them. “Think they actually made a decision?” TJ asked softly.

“We’ll know in a few minutes,” Matt answered and turned to lead the pair inside and up to their courtroom. He took his seat at the prosecution table, gesturing for Foggy and TJ to join him. Foggy sank down in his own normal seat and watched the small door to the judge’s chambers carefully.

The judge walked in and, after everyone was seated once more, asked the jury for their decision. The foreman gave a slip of paper to the bailiff, who brought it to the judge to read. After reading the note, the judge frowned fiercely and nodded. “Very well. The jury is hopelessly deadlocked. I declare this matter a mistrial. Court dismissed.” And just like that, Brock was grinning and turning towards his own lawyer.

Matt shook his head, “we’re filing for a new trial. He won’t get out that easy unless he makes bail.”

“Which he will,” TJ muttered, putting his head in his hands and trying to take deep breaths. Keeping his voice low, he continued, “if he’s connected with Pierce, he’s gonna make bail.”

Matt nodded and said in a quiet, but carrying, tone, “well, he can’t get to you, Mr. Rogers. After all, we flew you in from California specifically for the trial. Go back to San Francisco and wait for us to contact you again. We’ll make sure it goes through his time.” Matt put a hand on TJ’s elbow and led him from the room.

TJ let himself be led away, not chancing a glance in Rumlow’s direction. Pulling a paper from his pocket, TJ handed it to Foggy, “this is Liam’s contact information,” he explained quietly, “he said that he’s willing to testify on my behalf.”

Nodding, Foggy said, “good. We’ve got others we’ve been lining up the last few days, too. If that slimy ass wants to make this a political rally, we’ll one up him. We’ve agreed with your father to work with _his_ lawyers, too. They’re going to bring in the big guns, so to speak.”

Once outside, they met Steve finally coming in. He looked surprised but turned around and led the others back to where he’d managed to find parking. Once in the car, Matt said, “I’ve contacted the police to make sure his restraining order stands. It does.”

“It’s a piece of paper,” TJ murmured, laying his head on the glass, his eyes closed.

“It’s a piece of paper the court requires in order to prove you tried everything else to escape him. With that, if he comes near you, he’ll be arrested. Without it, they can’t do shit,” Matt corrected. “How’s the security at your place?”

“Fine, I guess? Don’t know if Tony managed to install the security cameras or whatever,” TJ mumbled his reply, still keeping his eyes closed.

“Oh, he did, TJ,” Steve confirmed. “They’ve been in place since Thanksgiving Day. As well as the alarm systems, as you know, and the link directly to the police and to fire rescue.” Steve reached over to stroke TJ’s arm then put his hand back on the wheel. He had been driving them into New Jersey, without consulting the lawyers as to their own plans.

“Do you think we need to leave the state or will New Jersey be okay to stay in?” TJ asked to no one in particular.

“You should be fine, TJ, but might want to make a habit of checking your security footage to keep an eye on oddities or such. If you notice anything, let Clint or Frank know. If neither are available, feel free to call the cops. But don’t get complacent. We’ll get the new trial set as soon as we can.” Matt leaned forward in his seat, against his belt, talking confidently.

A shudder ran down TJ’s spine and he nodded, “that’s . . . good,” he said, finally opening his eyes to watch as the city passed by in a blur. He hated the idea that he’d have to go through the entire process again.

Foggy said, comfortingly, “at least we know what to expect from that lawyer. He’ll try to do anything to shake you up and make you look like a confused needy kind of guy. We can practice so that doesn’t happen again.”

TJ sighed and shook his head, “maybe that’s what I am,” he said quietly, mostly to himself.

Steve stopped the car on the side of the road and threw it in park. He turned and unfastened both his own and TJ’s seatbelts. Pulling his husband into his lap, Steve nuzzled his neck. “I love you, TJ.”

“Love you, too, Steve,” TJ said, his tone numb and a bit far away.

Steve nipped TJ’s neck sharply, but didn’t break his skin.

“Can we get home, please?” TJ asked softly.

“As long as I’m bringing _TJ_ home and not someone who’s giving up?” Steve challenged just as softly.

Shaking his head, TJ let out a sigh, “I’m just . . . tired, Steve. I’m tired of trying to fight and always coming up short. It’s never enough. I wasn’t able to fight Brock off and now he’s gonna be free again.”

Steve eased TJ back into his own seat and turned, frowning, to rebelt himself and start the car. “Put on your seatbelt,” he ordered softly, voice sounding angry and withdrawn. He waited before finally pulling back into traffic.

TJ didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive back to their home. Once they made it, TJ waited for Steve to park the car before slipping out, not waiting for anyone else to get out. He didn’t look back at Steve or Matt and Foggy. He just kept walking until he made it inside where he slumped against the hall wall.

Steve followed his husband into the house and reached down, without asking, scooping TJ up into his arms. He carried the man up to their second floor master bedroom and into the bathroom. Stripping TJ carefully, almost impersonally, Steve set his nude husband on the wide lip of the tub and leaned over to begin drawing a hot bath for him.

Looking down at his lap, TJ felt his eyes burning with tears and he furiously began wiping at them. He felt like he’d done so much crying in the last few days.

After the bath water began to rise, Steve turned and scooped TJ up once more then leaned over and eased him into the hot water. After settling TJ, Steve reached for a vanilla bath bomb to drop into the tub with his lover. He took up a soft cloth, dipped it in the water, and began rubbing along TJ’s back and shoulders.

“You mad at me?” TJ asked after a few moments of Steve cleaning him.

“Never, pet,” Steve said, sounding like he fought anger and tears. “Wanna rip Brock to shreds and trying not to give in. Don’t need to be arrested and leave you alone.”

Looking over at Steve, his own eyes shimmering with tears, TJ said, “I’m going to have to sit up there again and explain everything again, Steve. Tell people what I let Liam do . . .”

“Yeah, and this time I’ll make sure Matt gets the court to let me in there. You shouldn’t be deprived emotional support. That was downright wrong, baby.” He kissed lightly at TJ’s neck then began washing again, his movements going more and more gentle and caressing as each moment passed.

“Somehow they found out that when I was seventeen I had sex with an ex-boyfriend in a public restroom. We were in a closed stall . . .” TJ murmured.

“And I had sex under the bleachers during a football game,” Steve shrugged. “Most teens have sex at least once where they might get caught. That’s not a surprise, and any juror who thinks it is . . . well, is in denial of what crazy things kids do.”

“Steve . . . they used every one of my secrets against me . . . what if they find out about Bucky and me? Pierce knows . . . I was shocked that it never came up. On the stand . . . I can’t lie, Steve . . . what if they ask me if I have sex with my brother?” TJ’s voice had begun to shake.

“I would never want you to lie, baby, but it can’t be used against you. You live in a state where it’s perfectly legal. The law can’t do anything about that, and we can have Matt screen the jurors before hand to make sure they won’t use things against you that don’t strictly break the law,” Steve continued to bath TJ with the vanilla water.

“But . . . if it becomes public knowledge . . . Bucky will _never_ be able to get a job,” TJ sounded miserable.

Moving around to face TJ directly, Steve smiled, “he’d be able to get a job in one of those other countries we talked about, Teej. So, if we have to, we move. Pick a country, we’ll look into it.” He kissed TJ’s lips.

Sighing, TJ nodded and said, “I don’t want to be the reason we all have to move out of the _country_.”

“TJ,” Steve’s voice turned firm, dominant, “I can think of no better reason to move from a hateful, biased place to one accepting and open than the happiness and safety of my family. So, instead of Captain America, I can be Captain Belgium or something.” He kissed TJ again.

“I just want all this to be over, Sir,” TJ mumbled, leaning into his husband, uncaring or maybe not even realizing he soaked Steve’s clothes with his wet body. “I wanna move to a place where we can all be accepted . . . and I don’t feel like someone is always waiting around the corner to silence me for good.” He’d never told his lover that fear.

With a nod, Steve kissed again. “I think that sounds like heaven, babydoll. I can start looking for places. I want you to concentrate on getting some rest and some Bucky time while we wait for a new trial. If he’s not got a job, he can spend quality time with you, okay?” Steve began unfastening his own clothes, quickly, but moving TJ out of the way as little as possible. Finally, nude, Steve got up and slipped into the tub behind TJ, thankful the master bath had a huge tub. He encircled his husband in his embrace, pulling TJ back against his chest. “Love my good boy, my brave boy.”

“Don’t feel very brave, Sir,” TJ murmured, leaning back against his husband. He relaxed slightly in Steve’s arms, knowing he was safe for the time being.

“I’m not sure what wise person said that bravery isn’t never feeling afraid, but taking that fear and still doing what needs doing, despite it. You’re very brave, TJ.” Steve nibbled his neck lightly.

“I’m . . . I’m terrified, Sir,” TJ admitted on a shaky breath, “what if Pierce just decides I’m not worth all this trouble and kills me? I don’t want to die . . .”

“You’re more trouble dead than alive, TJ. Even Perce knows that you disappearing now, in the middle of this mess, would look damned suspicious on him. He can’t risk it. He’d do better to just drop helping Brock than to threaten your life.” Steve lifted TJ’s chin and met his eyes with confidence. “And we have political power, TJ, just like he does. We have the Hammonds, and I can’t think of a stronger family to get behind someone. They want things done, they get those things done.”

“I hope that we’re able to just get this entire thing done . . . half of me wishes I’d never pressed charges on Brock . . .” TJ sighed and shook his head.

Steve nodded. “I’ve been there, too, babe.” He stroked the cloth down TJ’s chest to his abdomen then back up, over and over, a gentle petting motion. “Teej, this is probably the totally wrong time to talk about this, but I was wondering what you thought about something . . . delicate.”

“Delicate?” TJ asked, turning in the tub, making the water swish around them, so he could look at Steve.

Meeting TJ’s eyes,. Steve lowered his voice, “I want to have sex with Bucky, have for some time.”

“You mean . . . like you topping? Or him topping you?” TJ asked with a tilt of his head, thankful to talk about something other than the case for the moment.

“I wouldn’t mind him topping, but . . . yeah, I wanna top.” Steve shrugged slightly. “I enjoy topping you and was wanting to try with him, too.”

“You talk to him about it? I mean, I know he’s never bottomed before,” TJ stated.

With a self-deprecating chuckle, Steve said, “the only time I got close to telling Bucky I wanted to top him was in High School.”

“In high school? I thought you two never dated or anything before just recently?” TJ looked a little confused.

“We never dated. I mentioned I was bi-sexual and we had a huge fight. He insisted he was straight. It took months to get past it.” Steve sighed and ran his wet hand over the back of his neck.

“You told him you were bi-sexual by saying that you wanted to top him?” TJ asked softly.

“No, I never got the guts to say more than that I was bi-sexual, Teej. I never even admitted I was interested in him that way.” Steve flushed.

“Oh . . . well, now you know Bucky is interested in you that way. So, you should just ask him if that’s something he’d like to try? I mean, if he hates it, you can stop at any time,” TJ pointed out.

Nodding, Steve sighed, “now who’s afraid of things?” He shook his head. “I just keep remembering that fight in school and don’t wanna mess things up or lose him or anything. I love you both.”

“Well . . . we can talk to him together if you want? I don’t know how much help I’ll be since it’s kinda between you two . . . but if it makes either of you more comfortable . . . we can propose a three-way type of deal?” TJ suggested with a slight shrug.

“A three way topping on Bucky?” Steve chuckled, knowing that’s not what TJ had meant but - - the image struck him as delicious anyway.

“More thinking of him topping me while you top him, but, we can let him decide if he even wants to try,” TJ laughed softly.

“Wants to try what?” Bucky’s sleepy voice came from the bedroom doorway. He wore rumpled sweatpants and a very drowsy expression, his hair a tangled mess. The bruising on his left arm had faded considerably and he’d stopped wearing the sling the day before.

TJ looked between Bucky and Steve before he finally rested his eyes on his blond lover. Giving his husband a nod, TJ encouraged him to explain to Bucky what he wanted to try.

Clearing his throat, Steve said, “we were talking about having a threeway with you, if you’re interested?”

Bucky snorted. “We do that all the time, idiot.” He walked in and slid out of the sweats then climbed into the huge tub, facing them. “Vanilla bath bomb? Nice,” he murmured.

“He means,” TJ rolled his eyes in a playful manner, “that he’s curious if you’d be interested in something a bit different than our usual . . . play. Steve - -”

“Yeah?” Bucky grinned, eyes still half-lidded. “I’m up for almost anything. You guys know that.”

“Up for letting Steve top you?” TJ asked bluntly.

Blinking, eyes widening, Bucky looked from TJ to Steve then back. “Uh . . . never done that before.”

“I know, that’s why I was wondering if you wanted to try?” Steve asked softly.

“No,” Bucky shook his head, “I mean, I’ve _never_ bottomed before . . . ever.”

“We know that, Bucky,” TJ nodded, giving his twin a soft smile, “and I’m not gonna lie to you . . . Steve’s kinda big but with the proper stretching and whatnot . . . he feels amazing.”

Flushing brightly, as brightly as Steve, Bucky shook his head. “Never even had a finger up there except the doctor’s, Teej. Not sure I . . . not sure I can handle it.”

“Well . . . you’ll never know unless you try? But, if you seriously are uncomfortable about the idea, we don’t gotta do it,” TJ reassured his twin.

“Well,” Bucky looked between the other men then sighed, “I never see Steve taking it up the ass.”

Chuckling softly, Steve said, “that’s because TJ prefers to bottom, not top. But if you wanna top me, Bucky, I’d be happy to oblige.”

Shock coursed over Bucky’s face. “I . . . uh . . . kinda figured men like it one way _or_ the other? Not both?”

“There’s plenty of guys who are switches, Buck,” TJ laughed softly, “I mean, most people prefer it one way or another but lots of guys don’t mind it either way. I . . . I don’t like to top . . . too much . . . responsibility?” 

“Oh . . . I . . .” Bucky ran his fingers through his hair, wincing as he hit a tangle then started trying to work it out. “I just figured you feel more . . . back there than up front? I . . . I guess I never really thought about topping as taking responsibility.”

Laughing softly, TJ shook his head, “that’s just the way I feel. But, I feel just as much up the ass as I do up front. Just prefer to be dominated . . . not having to make all the choices, ya know?”

“So, Dominants prefer to be topped?” Bucky asked softly.

“Dominants usually like to be the one topping . . . but there are some that like to be bottom, I suppose,” TJ answered.

“I meant bottomed,” Bucky corrected himself. “I’m . . . just didn’t really think about this stuff before.”

“Uh . . . “ TJ shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, “not sure, Buck, sorry. We don’t hafta do anything today. Maybe just think on it, yeah?”

“I’m gay . . . aren’t I?” Bucky sighed and let his head thump back on the wall of the bathtub stall.

Blinking, TJ’s mouth opened and closed a few times.

Steve outright laughed. “God, Bucky, you are so _not gay_. You’ve always been Demi, and you know it. What’s making you doubt yourself now? And there’s nothing wrong with _gay_.”

“I,” Bucky looked at them, “I like the idea of this entire male on male on male thing? That’s gay. And I didn’t say anything's wrong with gay.” He frowned at Steve.

Steve said, “Sam Wilson.”

“What?” Bucky blinked

Steve said, “TJ, if you weren’t in a committed relationship, would you want sex with Sam Wilson if he was free and amenable?”

“Uh . . . sure?” TJ shrugged softly, “I mean, as long as we weren’t cheating on anyone then, yeah, Sam Wilson’s a good looking guy.”

“And Bucky? Would you want sex with Sam Wilson if both you guys were free?” Steve asked.

“God, no! I barely know him! I mean,” Bucky flushed, “he’s a friend and all, but he doesn’t do it . . . oh. I get it. You’re trying to point out that I need to really know the guy.”

“Demi,” Steve said confidently. “Gay and straight are such limiting words, Buck. Sexuality is so much bigger than all that.”

“Pretty sure I’m as gay as they come,” TJ teased softly.

Steve grinned and kissed his husband’s neck, “and you’re allowed to be, Teej. But there is no such thing as _only_ gay and straight. There are millions of people, billions, in the world. So there’s bound to be far more than two sexuality preferences.” Steve reached over to touch Bucky’s knee. “And liking sex with the same gender because you know and trust the person doesn’t limit you to one sexual preference. You have your own needs and desires. Nothing wrong with that.”

Bucky nodded, still looking embarrassed, “how’d we get on the subject of sexual education any way?”

Steve shifted a bit so he was closer to Bucky, dropping his voice into a seductive purr. He caressed up Bucky’s leg, his inner thigh, towards his crotch. “Because I want to fill you so full you leak, Buck . . . and I was asking if you’d like to try that . . .”

Bucky gulped and tried not to pant, eyes wide and fixed on Steve.

“Promise it’s gonna feel amazing, Bucky,” TJ smiled at his twin, giving him a quick wink.

Bucky keened softly.


	26. Lows and Highs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: losing virginity, subspace, drug discussions**
> 
>  
> 
> **SECOND: _Ecstasy_ and drugs like it are very dangerous, even deadly. Please reconsider any attempts using this as the resulting _drop_ can often lead to fatalities even with attention. ******

TJ stepped out of the bath tub, still dripping as he grabbed a towel and began drying himself off. He ruffled the soft fabric through his hair, making it stick up wildly as Bucky and Steve finished in the bath. He was happy that they were doing something that could take his mind off the mistrial, even if only for a little while. 

Steve stood and bent over to lift Bucky up out of the tub, having only a small amount more difficulty than when he lifted TJ all the time. He stepped from the tub and kissed Bucky on the lips, a deep, passionate kiss that had Bucky swallowing his keen and kissing back. Letting Bucky’s legs slowly slide down his body, Steve helped the brunet to stand, still kissing. He reached for towels to begin drying Bucky off. Breaking the kiss, Steve turned his head to smile at TJ. “Wanna help your brother get prepped, baby?”

“Sure,” TJ agreed, following his lovers into the bedroom.

Steve turned back to Bucky and gently pushed him towards TJ, the brunet grabbing his towel, eyes wide and beginning to show worry once more. The large blond began to dry himself off, watching the twins.

TJ grabbed Bucky’s towel and began drying his twin off, gently backing the larger brunet up until they were at the bed. “Gonna be okay, Buck,” TJ assured him softly.

“Your first time . . . did it hurt bad?” Bucky asked in a subdued voice.

“Not at all,” TJ lied, not wanting to explain to Bucky that the first time he’d had sex had been when he was a clueless teenager with another clueless teenager, and they’d had no idea what they were doing.

“And Steve? His first time?” Bucky asked, glancing to the blond then back to his twin.

“Pressure but no pain,” Steve said, smiling. “I can honestly say that it never hurt, but I’m not much of a judge. I have very little sensation around my ring there. The deeper you go, the more I feel.” He didn’t tell Bucky that if his prostate was stroked three times, he shot off like an inexperienced virgin.

“At any time you feel like it’s too much, you know the safe words, Buck. We gotta be able to trust that you’ll use them,” TJ said, reaching into the bedside table to pull out Bucky’s favorite lube.

“Yeah, the stop light, right?” Bucky asked softly. He sat on the bed and scooted backwards until eh sat pretty much in the middle of the large surface. “So, uh . . . what do I do? Just lie down and,” Bucky lay back and spread his legs, watching the others nervously.

“Just relax, Buck,” TJ settled between his twin’s legs.

Steve walked over with some lube and other items from their play box. “Some oral might help him relax, babydoll,” he suggested lightly.

TJ nodded and bent over to lap at Bucky’s cockhead, his tongue darting into the sensitive slit.

With a groan, Bucky’s head fell back on the mattress and he wriggled slightly. “Love your mouth, brother,” he said.

Steve smiled and climbed on the bed, putting the objects down within easy reach. He leaned over and began carefully lapping and nipping at Bucky’s chest, paying attention to his sensitive nipples, drawing whimpers and gasps from the brunet.

After a few minutes of paying attention to only Bucky’s cock, TJ opened the lube without lifting off his brother’s shaft and coated his fingers of one hand. Looking up at Bucky, watching him closely, TJ began to massage around the larger brunet’s opening. He didn’t enter quite yet, just worked on loosening the tight ring of muscle.

Bucky let out a small mewl, eyes opening wide. He then closed them and let his brother work at him, trusting TJ ad Steve wouldn’t actually hurt him, would know if things weren’t working out. And Bucky knew they’d stop if he told them to. For the moment, he let himself enjoy the unusual sensations around his anus, his muscles contracting and fluttering in response to TJ’s massage.

Taking Bucky’s cock deeper in his mouth, sucking and swallowing around his shaft, TJ carefully began dipping the tip of his finger into that tight passage. Slowly, he began working his brother open, making sure to take the time his brother would need since the larger brunet had never done this before.

Groaning at the odd sensations of pressure and some odd sort of pleasure, Bucky widened his legs further. He canted his hips to give TJ better access but kept his eyes closed, afraid he’d back out if he looked at either lover. Truly nothing unpleasant was happening, just . . . odd feeling, so Bucky didn’t stop it.

It took several minutes of stretching before TJ managed to get his finger deep enough to stroke Bucky’s prostate. He took a deep breath through his nose as he did so, suspecting an intense reaction from his brother.

Bucky gasped and let out a yelp, his bucking in response to the intense jolt through his ass and spine. His eyes flew open and he panted hard, clutching the sheets around him. “What the fuck!” He blinked and looked down at TJ, “was that what I do to you? Holy crap!”

Humming around Bucky’s shaft, meeting his brother’s eyes under his long eyelashes, TJ didn’t stop his ministrations. He didn’t stroke Bucky’s prostate very often, not wanting his brother to get too overwhelmed with the new sensations, but he did massage it every so often to keep his lover relaxed and happy.

After the third jolting stroke, it was becoming obvious that Bucky didn’t much prefer that kind of attention. He seemed to be fine with TJ’s finger, but held his breath in anticipation of the stimulation to his prostate. Shaking his head, hands clasped in the sheet, Bucky moaned, “no . . . too much . . .”

Looking up at Bucky, TJ pulled off his brother’s cock with an obscene pop and asked, “no more prostate, Buck? Or want me to back off completely?”

“Don’t like how I feel when you stroke that,” Bucky groaned. “Feel like I’m gonna explode.”

Steve smiled and kissed Bucky. “Got a solution for that, baby. But for now, TJ can open you up without prostate massage.”

Nodding, TJ didn’t stroke his brother’s prostate anymore as he carefully added a second finger, working just as slowly and carefully.

Gasping, Bucky canted his hips again, trying to accommodate his brother's fingers. He mewled and gasped, still panting, “that’s . . . yeah, not bad?”

“Good, Buck,” TJ praised, scissoring his fingers slightly to loosen those tight muscles.

Bucky let out a soft whimper and shifted slightly. He looked down between his legs at TJ, and surprise crossed his face to note that his own shaft was fully erect, pulsing and leaking a bit of precum. “Damn . . . feels . . . damn!”

“Feels good, huh?” TJ smiled wickedly at his twin, working his fingers deeper and deeper. He continued to scissor and stretch his brother.

Letting his head fall back, Bucky began meeting Steve’s kisses once more, whimpering in pleasure as the blond caressed his chest and abdomen while his brunet twin tended his ass. Bucky reached down and tugged his own cock a couple of times then stroked his own sac before wrapping that hand into Steve’s hair and tugging him into a fierce kiss.

Watching his two lovers kiss, TJ let out a quiet mewl and bent down again to suck at his brother’s cock. He gently began working a third finger into his brother’s ass as he swallowed around Bucky’s shaft.

Groaning, Bucky shunted his hips towards TJ’s mouth. He broke the kiss with steve to say, “God, am I supposed to be this close to cumming? I . . . I didn’t think I would . . . damn!” He thrashed his head back against the mattress again, keening as his anal muscles began clenching around TJ’s fingers, his cock pulsing then spurting out jets of hot cum into TJ’s throat. “Teej! Fuck!” Bucky screamed.

Pulling back, chin coated in his brother’s cum, TJ grinned as he kissed Bucky’s hip bones, spreading the mess onto Bucky’s skin. He continued to work his fingers deeper, knowing Bucky was almost ready to take Steve if he still wanted.

Steve smiled at TJ and softly asked, “did you want to top Bucky his first time? He won’t have anyone to compare you to.”

Looking at Steve, eyes wide, TJ opened and closed his mouth. “I . . . I . . . his first time should be better than me, Sir.”

“Teej, I love those few times you top me. I can’t think of anyone more sensitive and gentle than you to help him through this.” Steve caressed TJ’s cheek then back to Bucky’s quivering stomach.

Looking at Bucky, TJ swallowed thickly and asked quietly, “what do you want, Buck?”

Bucky met TJ’s eyes and groaned out, “please? Wanna feel you, even if it’s just once, brother mine.”

“I’m . . . I’m not as good as Steve,” TJ said.

“And I’ve never done this, so I’m not good at all,” Bucky groaned, reaching down to begin stroking his own cock, ignoring the mess. “You’re not a horse like him, Teej. Won’t hurt me like him.”

Blinking, TJ looked between Steve’s cock and his own normal sized one. Chewing his bottom lip, TJ nodded slowly, “okay . . .” The smaller brunet took a deep breath and withdrew his fingers from Bucky’s ass.

Steve reached down between the twins and firmly took TJ’s shaft, helping to guide him to Bucky’s passage. He smiled at TJ. “Ready, my love? Ready to be the first man to love your twin?”

Nodding, TJ let out a shaky breath and began easing his cock into Bucky’s body. He balanced himself on his hands, taking most of his own weight so Bucky wouldn’t have that added pressure. Steve steadily aided TJ in his entry, sure and slow, helping TJ fill Bucky.

Bucky let out a soft moan and ratcheted into a keen then a mewl. “God, yes . . . big brother . . . fill me . . . need to be full of you . . .” Bucky opened his eyes and reached up to tug TJ’s head towards him, kissing TJ desperately. “Don’t know why I waited so long. You feel just right in me, brother.”

TJ mewled against Bucky’s lips, finishing his initial push as his balls pressed up against his twin’s ass.

Steve smiled and sat back on his feet, stroking himself as he watched the twins. If ever TJ would become comfortable topping someone, it would be Bucky, since any contact with his twin seemed to stimulate the larger brunet. And even if TJ only topped Bucky once in awhile, Steve knew the pair would be happier now they had this other form of sexual contact. Eventually, he might get Bucky to let him, with his _horse cock_ , top.

Bucky lay under TJ, panting and keening softly, smiling happily. “You feel so big, Teej. So very full . . . It . . . it hurts but good, ya know?”

Nodding, TJ waited until his brother told him to move. He wanted to make sure Bucky was accustomed to his size before he began thrusting. Keening, TJ nuzzled at Bucky’s neck, spreading even more of the cooled come on his face on Bucky’s neck.

After several long minutes, Bucky sighed, “Teej? If you don’t wanna do this, we can do something else? I mean, I love you in me, but . . . you’re not even moving . . . like with your fingers. _That_ was amazing!”

“Lettin’ you get used to me. Don’t wanna hurt you,” TJ answered, still nuzzling at his brother’s neck.

“Oh,” Bucky flushed and let out a nervous chuckle, “feel silly now. I want you to move? I . . . I want you to make me cum again, TJ, like the last time.”

Taking a deep breath, TJ nodded and gently began to ease his cock out of Bucky's passage. He continued to nuzzle and nip at his brother’s neck. Once only his cockhead was encircled by Bucky's tight heat, TJ pushed back inside with a low keen. It was true that he preferred to bottom, but feeling his brother all around him was like nothing else in the world. TJ set an even, gentle pace, avoiding Bucky's prostate. “Feel so good, Buck. So, so good.”

Bucky grunts and mewled at every thrust, opening his eyes to meet TJ’s. “I . . . I never felt so full . . . and it . . . my God, Teej . . . you’re in me . . . completing me!” He kissed TJ’s lips, his own trembling with heightened stimulation.

“Doin’ so good, Buck,” TJ breathed against Bucky’s lips. He pulled almost all the way out and pushed balls deep with every thrust. TJ moved his head to nuzzle and nip at Bucky’s neck again, breathing in his lover’s scent.

Bucky slowly moved his legs, bringing them up to wrap around TJ’s waist lightly, inadvertently positioning himself better for TJ’s thrusts. He gasped at the new depth TJ was able to get, hands coming up to TJ’s back to claw lightly. “God, I love you, big brother!” he mewled.

Keening as Bucky’s nails dragged against his skin, TJ lifted his face to kiss Bucky’s lips again. He didn’t know how long he was going to last, so he reached down between them to stroke Bucky’s shaft, matching his pace with ease. He still avoided Bucky’s prostate, not wanting to ruin this amazing moment.

Bucky locked eyes with TJ and panted out, “yeah, love how you touch me . . .nearly there . . .” he ran his hands up and down TJ’s back then clutched his shoulders, nails digging in a bit, holding on as TJ fucked him. “Can . . . can . . . can you try that prostate thing once? Wanna know if it feels better this way?”

Nodding, breathing heavy against Bucky’s skin, TJ angled his hips so he stroked over his twin’s prostate.

With a shout, Bucky came, hard, his cum covering their bellies and TJ’s hand. Bucky’s eyes rolled back in his head briefly, then he seemed to regain himself, blinking and looking at TJ in wonder.

Smiling softly, TJ keened and gave Bucky another sensation he’d never felt before. The smaller brunet filled his twin’s ass with rope after rope of cum, over-filling. After he was fully spent, TJ’s ragged breathing ghosted over the sweat-sheened skin of Bucky’s neck. TJ’s arms trembled, though he still held his own weight, not wanting to crush his brother.

Bucky slid his arms around TJ’s neck and shoulders, tugging him down into a deep kiss. “Rest with me, brother,” he murmured.

Nodding, TJ seemed to collapse under the suggestion, finally letting himself fall carefully on top of Bucky. “You . . . you like it?” TJ panted, still catching his breath.

“Yeah,” Bucky grinned. “I _loved_ it. You’re right, didn’t hurt at all. You’re amazing, Teej!” He kissed TJ’s lips and cheeks and jawline repeatedly.

Steve began carefully cleaning the pair up, smiling as he gently worked around them, not making either man move. “You two are beautiful together,” he purred out. “And such good boys to try this when asked.”

TJ curled around his brother’s body, nuzzling tiredly. After a few minutes of cuddling, TJ took a deep breath and murmured, “hopelessly deadlocked. Judge declared a mistrial.” He knew Bucky hadn’t been informed of the outcome yet.

Bucky blinked, trying to get his mind back to the reality TJ was mentioning. He looked at TJ and softly said, “so, we do this again? Do they know when?”

“Matt and Foggy said they’re gonna try to get a new trial as soon as possible. Brock’s gonna get out on bail, if he isn’t already,” TJ sighed softly and nuzzled closer to his twin’s body.

“Hey, Teej, even think of getting a pair of really big dogs?” Bucky kissed his brother’s neck.

“Dogs? We have Phil. Don’t think we need more dogs . . . might get to be a lot,” TJ stated quietly.

“Phil’s a cuddle bug,” Bucky sighed.

“He’s a cuddle bug with people he knows and trusts. But he doesn’t know or like Rumlow,” Steve corrected gently. “He won’t be nice to that ass.”

“He looked so damn happy,” TJ stated bitterly, “probably thinks Matt and Foggy are gonna drop the charges.”

“We won’t, though,” Steve kissed the back of TJ’s neck, caressing over his globes with a gentle hand, dipping two fingers in TJ’s crack to caress over his rosebud.

“No, we won’t,” TJ agreed with a nod, “and this time we’ll be better prepared . . . get the right witnesses.”

“We do know how Brock’s lawyer plays his game now,” Steve confirmed. “And we can have Clint practice with you, TJ. He’s been in tons of cases so knows how those assholes twist words. He can throw zingers at you until you know how to sidestep them or whatever.” Steve continued his light caressing, barely dipping one finger into TJ’s hole but still exploring his husband’s ass with two.

A pleasant shiver ran up TJ’s spine from Steve’s caressing. Softly, TJ asked, “do you think Brock’s actually gonna listen to the restraining order? He didn’t before . . .”

“If he doesn’t this time, he won’t be able to avoid prison time, Teej. The court will take it very seriously if a man on trial for rape a second time breaks an order a second time.” Steve nibbled the back of TJ’s neck. “Besides, he has no clue where we live, what work I do, or anything. He’d be hard pressed to find us.”

Bucky let out a small gasp as TJ’s moved in him. “Hey, are we gonna do a sandwich or something? Not sure if I’m up to grade for that . . . am I?”

TJ looked at Bucky and said, “only you know what you’re ready for, Buck. Want me to pull out?”

“God no, but if you’d rather be bottom, I can easily understand that. It’s not bad at all.” Bucky grinned and kissed his brother.

Steve chuckled. “Does that mean you’re offering to be the middle or to top me as I top TJ?” He continued his gentle stroking and exploring, sliding his finger further into TJ’s ass, revealing he’d taken the time to lube it when TJ was busy.

Mewling, TJ couldn’t stop himself from thrusting back slightly to meet Steve’s finger. He really did like to bottom.

Mewling almost in identical tone to TJ, Bucky pushed his hips into another cant, taking TJ’s inadvertent thrust. “This is gonna be a wild ride . . .” he murmured.

Steve smiled and nipped lightly at TJ’s neck. He eased a second finger in then began seriously trying to work TJ open, preparing him for his husband’s large cock.

TJ dropped his head to Bucky’s shoulder, trying to shift his body so it’d be easier for Steve while still embedded in Bucky. The smaller brunet let out a low groan, his cock already beginning to twitch with excitement, despite having cum so recently.

Bucky spread his legs wide, knees bent, giving Tj total access to his. He grunted as he felt TJ shifting, smiling up at his twin. “Damn, you leave and I’ll cry, big brother. Love how you’re filling me up.” His own cock was beginning to fill again.

Sliding his two fingers in TJ, deep, and scissoring, curving his knuckles, stretching TJ’s passage, Steve continued to nip and kiss at his husband’s neck and shoulders. “You sure you wanna do this, TJ?”

“Yeah . . . green,” TJ nodded, sounding breathless and needy. He’d never been the middle person before, always being told he made the best bottom. The only thing that worried him was inadvertently hurting Bucky somehow.

“Green,” Bucky whimpered as TJ shifted in him again. “Never thought I’d take it up the ass, but damn . . . green.”

On a chuckle, Steve added a third lubed finger to TJ’s passage, working him quickly but thoroughly. “You both let me know if that changes, my loves. Wanna do this right.”

TJ nodded and let out a keen as Steve’s fingers stretched him, making him thrust shallowly in Bucky’s passage. The sensations coming from both areas had TJ quickly losing himself to the amazing pleasure.

Judging his husband ready and willing, Steve pulled his fingers free, curving them over TJ’s prostate on the way out. He lined up his huge cock and began slowly pushing into that well-lubed passage.

Hands fisting in the sheets below them, TJ mewled and as Steve pushed deeper in him, TJ pushed deeper in Bucky. It became obvious with Steve topping, that he basically controlled the entire chain.

Bucky mewled and gasped, “God, yes. I wanna do this,” he kissed at TJ’s neck. “Wanna feel you in me all night, brother mine.”

Steve nipped lightly at TJ’s neck and softly said, “ready for the real fun, babydoll?”

Panting, TJ managed to nod, “yes, Sir. I’m ready.”

“Good,” Steve said and began thrusting in TJ, hs strokes slow and deep, making sure not to rush Bucky, since his own thrusts would be mirrored by TJ in his brother’s recently virgin passage.

TJ kissed Bucky’s lips as Steve thrust into him, making him thrust into Bucky. He propped himself on his hands, arms trembling again with the weight of not only himself but some of Steve.

Softly, in TJ’s ear, Steve advised, “go down to your elbows, baby. Use the entire forearm to support you.” He continued the slow, deep stroking, establishing a rhythm fairly quickly.

Below them both, Bucky clutched at TJ’s shoulders and keened in short bursts, with each thrust, as if the noise was being fucked out of him.

Listening to Steve’s advice, TJ carefully lowered himself on his elbows, immediately feeling the difference. He could solely focus on the pleasure he felt now, on the incredible feeling of being pleasured at both ends.

Bucky blinked up at TJ, so close to him, and smiled, letting out a grunt as Steve increased his rhythm, thereby increasing TJ’s. “You look happy, brother.”

Giving Bucky a smile, TJ nodded and lowered his head to lap and nip at Bucky’s neck. He let Steve pick the pace, knowing Steve wouldn’t rush anything. “Love . . . love you both . . .” TJ gasped out.

“Yeah, Teej. I love you and Steve, too.” Bucky sealed his lips over TJ’s and mewled into his twin’s mouth as the thrusting increased a bit more.

It took sometime before Steve had them all at a fast, deep, hard pace, driving them to their orgasms. He nipped at TJ’s neck and murmured, “gonna cum, babe . . . “

TJ nodded, signaling that he was close to orgasm as well.

Raising his voice, Steve asked, “Bucky, check in!”

“Green,” Bucky keened out, “and about to become fucking white! I can’t believe this . . . so damn good!”

With a keen, TJ’s walls convulsed around Steve’s shaft and his hips slipped out of the rhythm as he came, filling Bucky’s ass again, cum leaking around his still shunting cock. The smaller brunet dropped his head to Bucky’s shoulder, going boneless in between his lovers’ bodies.

Bucky mewled and shudder as he came, coating his and Tj’s abdomens once more. He could tell when Steve came because TJ seemed to have another mini-orgasm as Steve shot load and load of hot, white cum deep in his husband’s ass. “Shit,” Bucky whispered and grinned, almost drooling in his release. He lay as boneless as his twin, enjoying the weigh on him, the feel of TJ in his arms and in his body.

TJ couldn’t seem to move his body, his limbs unable to listen to his mind. He chest heaved with each breath, his body quivering with stimulation.

Chuckling softly, Steve carefully slid from TJ’s ass with an obscene popping noise. He bent down and lapped at his husband’s passage, beginning to clean him up a bit. “Check in, my pet.”

“Y - - yellow,” TJ murmured softly.

Steve instantly stopped lapping. He backed away from the end on trembling limbs. “You just cool down baby. Need me to help you off Bucky? Check in Bucky.”

“Still green,” Bucky murmured in a sleepy drone.

“Need . . . need help, Sir,” TJ nodded.

“Tell me what you want me to do,” Steve said but stepped forward and readied his hands. He certainly didn’t want to inadvertently touch TJ wrong and send him into a painful slide. “Want me to hold you up or pull you off completely?”

“Off . . .” TJ answered, knowing he wouldn’t be able to calm down with so much skin-on-skin contact with Bucky.

Nodding, Steve wrapped an arm under TJ’s abdomen and another around the base of his husband’s cock. He guided TJ out of Bucky as he lifted the smaller brunet, easily supporting TJ’s weight. Once free of Bucky’s clasping ass, Steve merely held TJ, gently, slowly releasing his grip on the man’s over-sensitive cock. “Better, baby?”

TJ managed a sluggish nod, his breathing beginning to settle down.

“Are you in subspace, my love?” Steve asked gently, eyeing Bucky for signs of over-stimulation, too.

“Mhmm . . . feel light,” TJ’s head fell back against Steve’s shoulder, his body still limp in his husband’s arms.

Nodding, Steve didn’t give in to the temptation to kiss TJ. Instead he carefully carried him to another section of the wide bed and positioned him, slowly, on his back, making sure TJ’s cock and balls stayed untouched. "You did so well, my good, precious boy. So very well. Bucky? Check in,” he called as he slowly began to soap up a warm cloth from a covered basin he’d had installed in the room for easy cleanings.

Bucky rolled onto his side, watching TJ with wide eyes. “I’m fine. What happened? Did I hurt him?”

Chuckling, Steve said, “not at all. I think TJ finally hit subspace, Buck. It’s like a drug high but from sex. He’s gonna need twenty-four hour care until he comes down completely. If you’re up to is, can you have someone call me in sick to work? I’m gonna be spending every minute with my husband.”

“Can I help?” Bucky sounded anxious, watching TJ’s boneless body in worry.

“Too many hands could be harmful. He’s gonna be super sensitive and near sickness the entire time. Without the right care, Tj’s gonna get sick. But you can help us by bringing us things so I don;t have to leave him. And learn what to do so if it happens with you in the future, you know how to care for him.” Steve very tenderly began washing off TJ’s chest, well away from his genitalia.

Humming softly, TJ blinked slow, giving Steve a lopsided smile, “love you . . . Sir,” TJ’s words slurred together. It would be easy to think the brunet was actually high on drugs.

“And Sir loves his TJ,” Steve assured him, carefully leaning over to place a soft iss on TJ’s forehead. “When you come back to us, you can tell us if you’d like to top Bucky again sometime. Right now, baby, I’m gonna need you to drink something. Bucky? A bottle of lukewarm water and a straw, please.”

“Need drink, Buck,” TJ murmured with that same smile, eyes dazed.

“Not cold?” Bucky asked but got what he had been instructed to, still covered in drying cum but not complaining.

He offered the drink to Steve who shook his head. “Carefully let him drink from the straw, Buck. And no, cold would probably shock his system. Right now the less stimulation the better. He’ll begin to complain when he needs colder water.”

Nodding, Bucky moved to TJ’s head and carefully placed the tip of the straw at TJ’s lips. “Here, sweetheart. Have a drink. You did so well for us, big brother. Took care of us so well.” He felt sore now, moving around, his ass aching from the intrusion, but Bucky didn't’ complain. The great fucking had definitely been worth losing his anal virginity.

Obediently, TJ took a small sip from the bottle, some water dripping down his chin. “Did good?” TJ murmured, clouded pale eyes sluggishly moving to look at Bucky.

“Yeah,” Bucky grinned, “you are the best. You did so good. I definitely wanna bottom again.” He leaned over and very lightly brushed his lips over TJ’s then straightened and offered the straw again.

“Should try Steve . . . he’s ‘mazing,” TJ slurred, his entire body still quivering with the over-stimulation, but his breathing had evened out completely. “You like me . . . you’ll _love_ Sir.”

Bucky grinned. “Yeah, I think you’re right. You knew all along what I was missing. I was too dumb to hear ya. Never doubt my big brother again.” Bucky offered another drink, glancing to Steve with a worried frown. If he and Steve weren’t there, who would be caring for TJ? If this had happened in another place with someone else, would that guy know how to help the helpless brunet? Subspace was dangerous . . . and Bucky was suddenly terrified of going there. Someone would really have to trust his partner.

Steve continued cleaning TJ up, his abdomen, chest, legs, but never touched his crotch. Despite the drying cum, Steve didn’t touch the over-stimulated area. He concentrated on making everything else comfortable for his husband. He’d also clean up TJ’s ass and back later. Too much contact could make TJ sick.

“Feel like ‘m flying, Sir,” TJ murmured, managing to move his head to take a sip at the water Bucky offered,

“It’s okay, TJ.” Steve smiled. “This the first time you ever hit subspace, my precious?” Once again, Steve had Peggy’s teaching to all back on, though he’d never hit subspace or topspace himself.

“Don’t know . . . don’t think so,” TJ mumbled, blinking slowly a few times.

Chuckling, Steve nodded, “maybe you’ll remember later.”

“You . . . you guys won’t leave me, right? You’ll be here?” TJ’s eyes were drooping shut.

Steve leaned over to kiss TJ’s shoulder as Bucky, from the other side kissed his lips. “Never,” Steve promised. “One of us will be right here next to you, even if the other's taking a leak in the other room. Sleep, baby, you earned it.”

“M’kay,” TJ let his eyes close and he drifted off within moments.

Very quietly, Steve handed Bucky a robe. “Can you make it to the phone, sweetie? Call Nat and see if she has any advice Peggy might not have told me. And call me in to work. I’m gonna be here in case he wakes up. Sometimes TJ doesn’t sleep too long.”

Bucky nodded, not worried at all that Steve was making _him_ do the work. He felt useful, a feeling that had been sliding further and further as he couldn’t find a job. Carefully sliding into the robe, Bucky made his way gingerly to the hall, grabbing his cell phone as he did. In the hall, he dialed Nat and waited for her to pick up.

“Bucky? Everything okay?” Natasha picked up after the third ring.

“Sorry to invade your date, beautiful. Steve says TJ hit subspace, and he wants to know if you’ve got advice Peggy didn’t give him?” Bucky sounded breathless and a bit well-fucked himself.

“Subspace?” Natasha sounded surprised, “has he not hit it before with you guys?”

“No, I’ve never seen him like this, Nat. It’s like he’s high on coke or something,” Bucky glanced towards the bedroom door. “Steve had me give him warm water and won’t finish cleaning him everywhere, says he’s over-stimulated.”

“That’s good. You guys don’t want TJ going into sub- _drop_ , that’s really bad and can make him very sick,” Natasha informed.

“Sub-drop? Never heard of that.” Bucky suddenly felt worry grip his middle, cramping him. “He’s scary enough like this! Helpless as a kitten and flying high.”

“That’s sub _space_ , Bucky. Subspace is one of the main reasons someone may identify as a submissive. They are chasing that feeling, much like an addict to a drug, if you will. Sub- _drop_ is when the adrenaline and endorphins crash after being released. If he’s not properly taken care of, he’ll experience a lot of symptoms of depression; like fatigue, guilt, hopelessness and irritability, among other things . . . some extreme cases have been linked to suicide attempts,” Nat kept her voice calm and clear.

“Yeah, Steve sounds relaxed but there’s worry in his voice, too. He’s having me call him in sick to work and promised TJ that one of us would always be there with him.”

“Yes, TJ is going to need one of you there for a while. Sub-drop can creep in as late as seventy-two hours after a scene . . . though most are within the first twenty-four,” Natasha stated.

“Three days? Thank God it’s close to the weekend or Steve might get in trouble missing work!” Bucky sighed, “but I can see how TJ could get so excited? It was amazing!” He was unaware that his voice had gone soft and husky.

Laughing softly, Natasha said, “yes, it can be. Also means he trusts you and Steve a great deal. Some tips with aftercare are give him chocolate. The Oxytocin in the chocolate can help keep off the effects of the drop. Of course, pampering is a must. Give him an hour or so and try to get him in a warm bath.”

“Chocolate, got it,” Bucky repeated. “And warm bath. He’s napping right now and Steve’s watching him.”

“Also, after the bath and if TJ comes back to himself a bit, try to keep him busy. Don’t over exert him or anything . . . but some light exercise may help,” Natasha explained.

“Like a walk or something around the house? Maybe some . . . uh . . . coloring or I don’t know,” Bucky blew out in frustration.

“Sure, one of those adult coloring books Clint likes so much may do the trick. I’ve heard of subs using a multitude of different things. Like yoga, reading, or writing,” Natasha’s voice was even, calm in Bucky’s ear.

“Damn, wish we had that piano Steve’s getting him for Christmas,” Bucky sighed. “I think he’d love that!” Bucky looked at the door and smiled softly. “Hey, Nat, ever try anal? You gotta try it, it’s great!”

Natasha made a soft humming noise, “I’ve tried it but it’s not my favorite way of intimacy. Us women don’t have a prostate to make it feel _really_ good.”

“Oh, well, sorry for you,” Bucky chuckled. “So, chocolate, a warm bath, walkies and coloring. Got it. Anything else? How about eating more than dessert?” Bucky got back to the subject.

“Of course you gotta feed him!” Natasha laughed; Bucky could practically hear she was shaking her head at him, “I thought normal food and water was a given.”

“It probably would be, Nat, but I mean how soon?” Bucky laughed back, at ease with his long-time best female friend and former wife.

“He should start coming back within an hour or two at most. Once he’s able to move on his own, you should be okay to get him some food. I’d suggest nothing too heavy, might not sit well at first,” Nat answered.

“Like TJ’s a heavy eater as it is?” Bucky laughed. “Thanks, babe. Sorry to hound in on your date. Clint’s amazing not to get upset your ex is calling. Gotta go, okay?”

“Alright, I’ll see you guys when we get home,” Natasha stated, “take care of our little one, okay?”

“You know it!” Bucky promised and hung up, smiling, a little more at ease with what TJ was experiencing. He called Steve in sick for a few days, letting them know it was a family emergency, not Steve himself. Then he walked back into the room. Stopping in the doorway, Bucky studied TJ and Steve, noting yet again how totally intense Steve was when concentrating on the man he’d married. Bucky smiled. TJ deserved that kind of devotion.

**************

Steve once more washed off TJ’s chest with a fresh warm cloth, monitoring his lover’s breathing and bodily reactions. It had been just over an hour since TJ fell asleep and Steve expected the brunet to wake up shortly. He had known all of Nat’s instructions already, btu Bucky seemed calmer taking them from nat instead of him. At the moment, the other, larger brunet was making sure to break up _Hershey Bars_ into little squares to feed TJ when he woke.

TJ shifted slightly on the bed and slowly blinked awake, looking a bit more coherent.

Steve pulled back his hand and smiled softly. “Heya, baby boy. How ya doing?”

“Good?” TJ murmured.

“Chocolate?” Bucky piped up, offering a small square to his brother.

Humming softly, TJ slowly pushed up on the bed, managing to sit up slightly. Steve slipped a strong arm behind him to help support him. He took the chocolate from Bucky with a small smile. “Man,” TJ said, nibbling on the small square, “I . . . I haven’t felt that good in a very long time.”

Nodding, Steve offered some water, slightly cooler than room temperature but not ice cold. “You said you’ve been in subspace before, Teej?”

“Yeah . . . a few times,” TJ nodded, finishing the chocolate and taking the water to sip at. “Kinda how I figured out I liked being a submissive.”

“Never hit space myself,” Steve admitted, “and neither did Peggy when we were together, but she told me all about it and how to care for a space partner, if you will,” he winked and let Bucky offer more chocolate.

“Tryin’ to fatten me up?” TJ teased softly, smiling at his brother as he took the chocolate.

“Yup,” Bucky grinned. “Nat says chocolate helps you avoid sub-drop. And I definitely don’t want you dropping!”

Humming, TJ nodded and ate at the chocolate, “yeah, drops aren’t good. Take all the fun out of flyin’.”

Bucky and Steve both chuckled at that. Steve picked up another clean warm cloth and this time carefully began bathing TJ’s pelvis, near but not touching his cock and balls. “You tell me when it’s okay to clean you completely, baby.”

“I . . . I think I’m okay now. I mean, I’m still a little light-headed but not super sensitive,” TJ informed his husband with a soft smile, taking a small sip of his water.

Nodding, Steve carefully, very gently, ran the cloth over TJ’s shaft, cleaning him, not deliberately stimulating him, but Steve certainly wanted TJ to feel good. “ _A bit of the hair of the dog_ , baby?” Steve asked gently, moving to clean his husband’s sac.

Looking at Steve, TJ’s brow furrowed a bit in confusion. “Think I may be a bit under still,” he laughed softly, “not sure whatcha asking, Sir.”

Nodding, Steve said, “it’s a term used for people with hangovers, actually. A bit of the hair of the dog that bit you. Means to take a drink of booze to help ease the hangover.” Steve winked. “I was referring to some light stroking to help ease you out of the stronger stimulation.”

“Oh,” TJ smiled and nodded, “stroking might be good? Doesn’t feel painful anymore.”

“Good,” Steve kept carefully bathing his husband’s crotch at that. “Nothing to push you back up again, just to keep your nerves humming a little bit so they don’t shut down completely in deprivation.” He glanced to Bucky. “Of course, the amount, if any, stimulation afterwards is always up to the one who went to space, Bucky. Asking the best way to keep his mind busy and know how he feels. Between us, Teej, we’ll get your brother trained right so no one gets hurt, right?” He smiled.

“Right,” TJ gave his brother a small smile, “hope I didn’t freak you out too much, Buck. I should’ve told you about subspace . . . especially since we play by ourselves sometimes.

“It’s sub-drop that scares me more, but you’re so helpless in space.” Bucky frowned softly. “I don’t want you hurt . . . Nat and Steve have been teaching me since it happened so I know how to care for you if it happens again. Is it really a good feeling?” Bucky reached over and gently stroked TJ’s hair once then stopped, not sure if he should be touching while Steve was.

TJ leaned into Bucky’s touch, much like a cat, and he met his twin’s eyes, “it’s . . . God, it’s amazing. You feel so . . . light. Like nothing in the world matters but you and your dominant . . . or dominants in our case, I suppose.”

Bucky nodded. “I think I’ll pass for some time on that, though. I like being controlled a bit and the petting and care, but I don’t think I wanna lose control so much. But maybe we should keep you on a regular supply of subspace.” He grinned.

“Buck,” TJ shifted slightly and said, “sometimes it’s not a conscious decision. It’s a natural reaction to the chemicals and whatnot in your brain - -”

Steve broke in softly, “when people take drugs, like _Ecstasy_ for instance, it can release a lot of chemicals, causing a high, even a sexual high. But it also releases an uncontrolled amount, which can seriously hurt the body. It’s called _raving_. Subspace is comparable. You have no control over how much the body will release at any given time. Subspace is when the body releases almost all or even all of the current chemicals involved. That’s why it can be dangerous when it happens if the sub isn’t cared for. It happens to doms, too, Buck, and is called topspace. It’s the body reacting to the sex.” Steve sighed and carefully helped TJ to lay on his side so Steve could begin washing his ass. “And if it happens too often, the brain has no time to rebuild the chemical base, which is very dangerous, even deadly. It’s one of the biggest risks with _Ecstasy_ , and it’s one of the reasons we won’t be having sex with TJ for a few days at least. His body needs to recover.”

Nuzzling the soft pillow, TJ offered Bucky a small smile, “learn something new every day, huh?” His body had stopped shaking while he napped but a quiver ran down his spine as Steve cleaned him.

After finishing bathing TJ’s ass, Steve carefully scooped up his husband and said, “Bucky draw a warm, not hot, bath for TJ? He can soak for a bit to rebuild his heat. As he comes down, his body temperature drops.”

Nodding, Bucky hurried into the bathroom to start the bath. Steve smiled and lightly kissed TJ’s lips. “Bucky called me out for three days, so I won’t have to leave your side. One of us will be in constant attendance while the other takes care of personal matters or runs food errands and stuff. Just relax and enjoy your space.”

TJ smiled softly and lay his head on Steve’s shoulder. His limbs still felt slightly numb but he could at least move them. “Kinda stole Bucky’s moment,” TJ murmured, “he just did anal for the first time . . .”

Steve laughed. "Bucky doesn't mind. He's still wrapping his head around everything, but he certainly seems interested in doing this again." Steve kissed TJ as he carried him into the bathroom.

“Don’t know if I should be in the middle often,” TJ said, nuzzling at Steve’s strong shoulder, “I mean, I loved it, obviously . . . but, I think I’d slip into space every time. It's a lot of stimulation.”

Kissing TJ’s lips lightly, Steve smiled wide. “Then maybe when we do this, we should take turns at middle.”


	27. Holiday Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: fluff and sex**

TJ curled against Bucky's warm body, nuzzling at his twin’s muscular chest as he tried to stay warm despite the snowstorm raging outside their window. He could feel Steve against his back, warming his other side. With the holiday season, Matt and Foggy had been preparing for the new trial without actually taking it to court, allowing all parties involved to be able to enjoy their holidays.

Cuddling TJ, Steve nuzzled TJ’s back, dropping soft kisses to his husband’s neck. Ever since Bucky had been introduced to anal sex, the three had actually been sharing the master bed - - and Steve found he was okay with it. He got to sleep by TJ’s side and cuddle his husband every night, and he got to touch and kiss Bucky, too.

Bucky lightly dozed under the constant attention, warm and content in his brother’s embrace, his other lover not farther than an arm’s reach away. The snow had lulled Bucky into a feeling of security - - it was storming outside, but inside, all felt right with the world.

A shiver ran down TJ’s spine and he curled up close to Bucky; he’d never done well in the cold, always preferring the warmth and sun of spring and summer. “Definitely gonna be a white Christmas,” TJ murmured softly.

“Better be after all this snow,” Steve commented. He peeled himself from his lover to get out of bed, instantly tucking the warm blankets and comforter around TJ’s lean form. Steve was nude and seemed unfazed by the cold; he’d always run hot for temperature. Padding into the bathroom, he relieved himself and washed up then headed back into the bedroom, stopping to smile at the sight of TJ practically plastered to Bucky’s back. “You two are gorgeous, pet.”

“I’m _cold_ ,” TJ mumbled, his eyes blinking open as he looked over at Steve.

Chuckling, Steve padded over to the thermostat control. He adjusted it up several degrees. “Why didn’t you turn the heat up then? We can afford to keep my good boy warm.” He walked back over to the bed and sank down on the mattress but didn’t lift the comforter or blankets yet. “Christmas Eve, baby.”

Humming softly, TJ smiled up at Steve, “crazy how fast these last few months have flown by. Seems like just yesterday it was August.”

“And we were just meeting for the first time? You helping stop those students fighting?” Steve grinned and leaned over to kiss TJ’s lips.

Bucky snorted softly, “at least this time _you_ hadn’t started the fight.” He kept his eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of TJ wrapped around him.

“Steve starting fights?” TJ quirked a brow in his husband’s direction.

“Yeah, back in school I always used to pound on the bullies who picked on the weaker or different.” Steve finally slid back under the blankets to wrap his warm body around TJ’s.

Bucky snorted. “Funny as hell if I hadn’t been dragged into those fights. He was five foot four and less than a hundred pounds taking on every jock, dope head, and class jerk out there.”

“Always been a hero, Sir?” TJ asked and then hummed happily as Steve’s body pressed against his.

“Nah, he was a little punk is what he was,” Bucky snickered.

“Jerk,” Steve laughed back with affection.

“Okay, he was a jerk, but those are _his_ words, not mine,” Bucky shot back, teasing, finally opening his eyes.

TJ laughed softly and then looked out the window, eyes widening in surprise at just how much snow fell. “Hope you guys didn’t have any last minute shopping to do or anything . . .”

Steve nuzzled his warm nose against the back of TJ’s neck, sighing happily. “Nope. I’m done.” He had been keeping TJ too distracted to go near the music room; TJ’s present had been delivered a week before while TJ had been busy in the dungeon with Bucky, by design.

Bucky stretched and threw off the blankets, including those on TJ. He slid out of bed and turned to grab TJ’s hand. “Warm shower!” he claimed.

TJ yelped softly as the cold air hit his body but let Bucky drag him out of the bed and into the bathroom for the promised warm shower. “Join us, Sir?” TJ called out over his shoulder.

Steve grinned, watching the twins. “In a moment, pet. You guys start without me. Gonna go replenish our water supply.” He grabbed up the basket of empty bottles and headed out the bedroom door, still nude.

Bucky snickered. “He’s feeling frisky, ain’t he? Always gets this way for Christmas or birthdays.”

“I wouldn’t know,” TJ laughed softly, giving his brother a smile. “I wasn’t even here for his birthday this year, missed it by a month.”

“Oh, you’ll enjoy that, especially since we have the yard and not the roof to use for the celebration. Steve loves the Fourth of July and encourages major partying for the combined day.” Bucky grinned and turned on the water, testing it before stepping inside. “Come on in, the water’s fine,” he quoted an old movie.

Following his brother into the shower stall, TJ let out a soft moan as the warm water cascaded down his chilled skin. “Showers are amazing . . .” TJ looked at Bucky, reaching out to pull his twin closer.

Going willingly, Bucky kissed TJ’s lips. “Yeah, always loved showers.” He grinned widely. “And wait’ll our birthday, Teej. Steve loves showering his friends with attention on their special day.”

“Let’s get through Christmas and New Year’s before we start talking about birthdays, yeah?” TJ laughed, moving his lips to kiss and nip at Bucky’s jawline.

Bucky exposed his neck and jaw to TJ’s attentions. “Yeah, we can do that. But this Christmas will be awesome! Can’t wait to give the gifts, it being your first as a married man.” Bucky sighed happily.

Looking over his shoulder to make sure Steve wasn’t coming in, TJ turned back to his brother, “you think Steve will like his present?”

Bucky grinned. “He’d love _any_ present, brother mine.”

“Yeah, but, like . . . honestly like it. Not just _say_ he likes it because he’s being polite. I spent three weeks searching for just the right art desk for him . . . but, I don’t know a whole lot . . . what if I got the wrong one?” TJ chewed his bottom lip nervously.

Bucky cupped TJ’s face and smiled. “Is it tall enough for a six foot plus man? Does it tilt and is adjustable? Does it have space for his pens and pencils and erasers?” He kissed TJ lightly.

“Yes,” TJ answered, “and all the reviews and whatnot said it was really good. But . . . is it not sentimental enough? I know the first - -”

“TJ, no one’s given Steve art supplies, let alone an art desk, as a gift before. Art is where his heart is. I think it’s perfect!” Bucky kissed TJ’s plush lips, enjoying the feel of his twin in his arms again. “I mean, he was super jealous of me for weeks back when Dad bought me a drawing table on a whim.”

“Why would George get you a drawing table? That’s very specific,” TJ asked, tilting his head slightly.

Bucky nodded, kissing at TJ’s neck. “Okay, because I draw.” He made the revelation nonchalantly, like it wasn’t something significant that TJ hadn’t known.

“I didn’t know that,” TJ commented softly, “do you still draw?”

“Yeah, I do. Especially as part of my physical therapy,” Bucky trailed his kisses down to TJ’s shoulder, nipping lightly. “I shared all of Steve’s art classes, but he’s way better than me.”

“Art isn’t better or worse . . . there are just different styles. I wanna see some of your stuff,” TJ grinned, extending his neck for Bucky’s attentions.

“Now?” Bucky lifted his lips, pouting, “but we’re in the shower . . .” he whined.

“Why would you get out?” Steve’s voice came from the doorway followed by the sounds of him restocking their mini-fridge with water bottles.

“I wasn’t talking about right now,” TJ laughed, “I meant sometime soon.”

“I missed something?” Steve walked in, still beautifully naked. He stepped into the large shower, furthest from the warm stream of water.

“I never knew Bucky drew. I wanna see some of his stuff,” TJ explained to his husband.

“Really? Bucky, shame on you, not telling your twin you do portraits,” Steve admonished lightly.

Bucky shrugged and kissed at TJ’s shoulder again. “Nothing like your landscapes.”

“Well, I still wanna see them,” TJ insisted, content under the warm spray of water and with Bucky kissing his skin.

“Sure, I’ll try to dig up something. Maybe Nat will let you look at the portrait I did of her?” Bucky seemed more interested in what he was currently doing. “It’s not good enough to make money at, not like Steve’s. I mean, boardwalk carnival stuff, maybe.”

Steve grinned widely, “Bucky concentrated on comical drawing rather than a more realistic discipline, TJ. But he’s good, don’t let him fool you. He could probably get a job at Atlantic City or Disney or something.”

“Geez, how much more do I not know about you?” TJ looked at Bucky with a grin.

Grinning back, Bucky said, “a life time to get to catch up on. Many things to keep the spark going . . . oh!” And Bucky’s head dropped back as Steve caressed his ass, over his passage. He let out a soft mewl.

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that Bucky really likes anal,” TJ smiled and stepped back slightly, allowing his two lovers some space to play.

Steve chuckled, “such a tempting ass.” He grinned at TJ over Bucky’s shoulder, letting the middle man lay his head back on Steve’s broad shoulder. “I think Bucky’s morning wood was a good indicator that he’s up for play, pet. What do you think?” He caressed again, right over Bucky’s entrance, eliciting a whimper from the other man.

“I think you may be right,” TJ smiled, grabbing a washcloth so he could clean himself while it seemed like Bucky and Steve would be busy.

Bucky lifted a slightly shaking hand to stroke at TJ’s cock. “Wanna play with both my favorite cocks,” he groaned, spreading his legs a bit more for Steve’s attentions. He no longer seemed bothered by the fact that he liked anal play as much as vaginal play. Bucky had allowed himself to break past societal norms.

Mewling softly, TJ’s hips canted slightly into his brother’s hand. His hands, one holding a soapy cloth, fell onto Bucky’s strong shoulders.

“Wanna be the monkey,” Bucky said softly before kissing TJ. Steve chuckled behind the man, caressing at his anal ring to relax him enough for penetration.

“Which way you want me, Buck?” TJ asked breathlessly, trying to keep his face out of the spray of water.

“Wanna fill you up. Wanna see if I can take Steve . . .” so far, Steve hadn’t actually breached Bucky, letting him get used to the new penetration using TJ’s more regular sized cock. And Bucky certainly hadn’t been _middle_ that entire time, though Steve had taken that spot quite often with Bucky behind and TJ as bottom. With Steve’s lack of sensation, he hadn’t had to worry too much about going into sub or top-space.

Nodding, TJ turned around, bracing himself on the tiled wall and opening his legs wider to give Bucky better access to his entrance.

Steve smiled and said, fondly, “okay, Captain’s stepping in and moving this back to the bed. It’ll be easier on Bucky if I enter him there rather than standing up. Let’s get rinsed and dried, my loves.”

Bucky nodded but let out a whimper as Steve’s fingers abandoned him. He met TJ’s eyes, his own pale ones blown near-black.

Listening to Steve, TJ stepped out of the shower and began drying off. Once he was mostly dry, TJ moved to help Bucky dry off as well.

With a groan, Bucky tried to help dry himself off but his muscles felt weak with the beginnings of the pleasure he anticipated. He kept stealing kisses from his twin as they worked. Steve chuckled and began briskly drying Bucky from behind, drawing a yelp of surprise for the almost rough treatment. “So, Teej,” Steve said softly. “Think we should start introducing Bucky into spankings? Or maybe use that puppy shock collar Nat got him? He seems to think _he’s_ the Sir around here.”

Grinning wickedly, TJ looked at his twin and asked, “any of that sound good, Buck?”

Bucky groaned, “I just wanna get fucked and fuck you, Teej. I don’t care about a long scene.”

Steve winked at TJ over Bucky’s shoulder. “Gonna have to take him in hand. He needs a firm touch, doesn’t he, my pet?” And Steve slapped Bucky’s nude ass, drawing a gasp from the brunet and causing his eyes to darken a bit more.

“I think so, Sir,” TJ agreed, running his hands down Bucky’s chest, pinching and pulling slightly at his twin’s sensitive nipples, causing his brother to buck slightly and moan loudly. “Whatcha need me to do, Sir?” TJ asked, pale eyes flickering to look at Steve while his fingers still played with Bucky’s nipples.

“Well, I think for now we’ll work on opening him up so he can take me,” Steve suggested. “Then in a couple hours, we’ll start training him to be a proper lover. You think he really is ready for being _middle_?”

“With enough prep, Sir,” TJ answered with a nod, moving one hand down his brother’s chest to caress Bucky’s pelvis, not quite touching his cock yet.

Bucky whimpered and canted his hips, chasing TJ’s hand, trying to get the sensation where he _really_ wanted it. “Wanna fill you, brother mine . . . wanna feel you all around me as I take Steve’s horse cock!”

“You gotta ask Sir nicely, Buck,” TJ purred, pulling his hand up and away every time Bucky’s hips canted, denying his twin the sensations he sought.

“But why?” Bucky whimpered. “Just a few minutes ago, he was gonna . . .”

Steve chuckled again. “It’s my perogative to change the play, Buck. So, we start with TJ preparing you so you’re nice and ready for Sir’s cock. You’re barely out of virginity. Think you can make him ready, pet?” Steve stroked at TJ’s hair.

Humming softly, TJ nodded, flashing Steve his bright smile, “I can get him ready for you, Sir.” TJ led Bucky over to the bed, where he guided his twin so the larger brunet was on all fours. Grabbing the lube and placing it within easy reach, TJ settled behind his brother and took one of Bucky’s firm globes in his hand. Pulling the muscled flesh away, exposing Bucky’s fluttering hole, TJ leaned forward so he could lap at his twin’s entrance.

Gasping, Bucky fought not to push his ass into TJ’s face. He lay his face on his forearms and moaned softly, his cock bobbing between his legs. “God . . . never been _rimmed_ before,” he moaned. “Don’t want ya ta stop!”

Humming against Bucky’s entrance, the vibration causing Bucky’s hole to clench and relax repeatedly, TJ continued to lick and lap at that tight ring of muscle, sucking occasionally. After a few minutes, TJ pushed his tongue deeper, fucking his twin’s passage.

Bucky let out another long groan and twisted his head back and forth on his arms. “God . . .so damned good . . . you . . . your tongue . . . “

Steve eased onto the bed behind TJ and leaned over, spreading his husband’s cheeks in order to lap and lick at TJ’s opening, too.

Feeling Steve’s tongue at his own entrance only made TJ increase his efforts on Bucky, thoroughly coating his twin’s walls. Several minutes passed like that before TJ had to pull back, saliva coating his chin. Gasping, fighting his own instincts to thrust back on Steve’s face, TJ opened the lube to coat his fingers. Starting with two fingers, knowing he’d stretched Bucky some already, TJ carefully pushed into his twin’s passage, stretching and gently beginning to scissor.

Moaning long and low, Bucky canted his hips to give TJ more access, turning his face on his arms back and forth, back and forth. His cock pulsed and leaked pre-cum, ready for action but not getting any. Bucky gasped at one particular move, “shit! How much you gonna need to do back there? I’m hanging here, no ass to fill, no cock in me. I,” he groaned, “love how you touch me, but I _need_ more, brother!”

“Sir . . . Sir,” TJ blinked, trying to think clearly with Steve’s tongue up his ass, “wants you ready for . . . him . . .” TJ eased a third finger, sooner than he normally would with Bucky.

Bucky lived up to his nickname and bucked his hips at the sudden sensation. He gasped and let out a low keen. “Yes . . . fill me up! Wanna feel it in my throat, Teej . . .”

TJ knew Bucky should be stretched with four fingers before attempting to take Steve . . . Bucky’s walls were still too tight to take Steve without plenty of prep. Pushing his three fingers deeper, TJ continued to loosen his twin up.

“Good boy,” Steve said, lifting his mouth from TJ’s passage but caressing over his cheeks. “Don’t let Bucky bully you into hurting him accidentally. You know what he needs, TJ. Make him slow down and prep right.”

“You heard Sir, Buck,” TJ moaned softly, “gotta slow down or I’m gonna hurt you or Steve will if you don’t let me prep you.” The smaller brunet still avoided Bucky’s prostate, knowing Steve would pound into it when fucking his brother.

“But _feel_ ready _now_ ,” Bucky whined, trying to cant back to get more of TJ’s three fingers. “Feel so needy . . . want so much more . . . “

TJ gripped Bucky’s hip with one hand and actually held him still. “Not hurtin’ you, Buck,” TJ insisted with a soft growl. He bottomed out with his three fingers, curling his knuckles to open Bucky up even more.

Keening, Bucky thrashed his head on his arms again. “Feel so much . . . love you . . . _need_ you . . .” he panted. HIs cock was near purple and freely leaking by then, bobbing between his legs with every thrust in his passage.

Behind TJ, Steve continued to work his husband open, careful and loving, but by no means slow. He’d had several months to learn from TJ just how fast the other man could adjust. Using two fingers, Steve pumped and curved in his husband’s needy passage, readying him for Bucky’s thrusts. He added a third finger and continued his stretching.

Very carefully TJ added the fourth finger, massaging around Bucky’s rim for a few moments before dipping in, knowing that this would be the most his twin had taken so far. Trying to keep his head clear, his own cock leaking with Steve’s attentions, TJ asked, “check in, Buck.”

“Happy? Full?” Bucky groaned, “right, Green. Damn green. So good.” He lifted his head slightly then dropped it as too much effort.

Nodding, TJ pushed his fingers even deeper, watching them as they disappeared in Bucky’s ass. It only took a few more minutes of stretching before TJ looked over his shoulder and reported, “he’s ready for you, Sir.”

Smiling, Steve slowly pulled his three fingers from his husband’s lovely ass. “And you’re ready for him? Check in, TJ. Prepped enough?”

“Green, Sir,” TJ panted with a soft keen, “wanna feel him. I’ve been a good boy, Sir. I got Bucky all ready for you.”

Nodding, Steve slapped TJ’s ass lightly. “Swap positions. Bucky,” he called, “gotta get up now so you can fuck your brother. He’s been good and deserves his Bucky.”

Groaning, especially at the empty feeling, Bucky pushed from the pillows on trembling arms. He sidled back on the bed to allow his twin to take his place, eyeing TJ’s cock and ass happily.

Mewling at the light swat, TJ hurried to take Bucky’s spot, presenting his well opened and lubed passage to his brother.

Slipping up behind TJ, Bucky placed a kiss on the dimple above his crack before straightening and lining up. He slid into TJ’s ass with a groan. Taking a few long strokes, Bucky curled over TJ’s back and said, “ready, Sir,” without really thinking about the title he’d added.

Steve smiled and slid a couple of fingers into Bucky to remind him what would be happening, drawing a mewl from the other man. He slid his fingers out then lined up, easing inside his lover in one, slow sure stroke, bottoming out. Bucky keened and buried his face in TJ’s back.

With a breathy keen, TJ loved feeling the weight of both his lovers, feeling as if both Steve and Bucky were fucking him at the same time. The smaller brunet lay his head on his forearms, widening his legs a bit more to make himself more comfortable, able to take his lovers’ thrusts.

“Finally,” Steve said firmly, “Bucky, I set the rhythm. You will let yourself feel and move as I direct. Is that understood?”

At the utter fullness, the wonderful heat and tightness in his passage, Bucky nodded, panting. “Yes, Sir. I stay in TJ and you fuck. You go in, I go in, out means out. Right?”

“Good boy, Bucky. Ready TJ?” Steve asked.

Managing a nod, TJ moaned out, “ready, Sir.”

Responding to the agreement of both his lovers, Steve began to pull out, slow and careful, making sure Bucky did the same for TJ. Just as gently, he pushed back in, and Bucky copied the movement with a low keening. Steve began to set a rhythm for the trio.

Bucky didn’t even have words anymore, lost in the same sensations TJ had been feeling before. He felt full and surrounded at both ends. Slowly, he nuzzled his face between TJ’s shoulderblades, letting out keens and mewls as he continued Steve’s chain and loved his brother as well as he was being loved.

TJ could do nothing but take the thrusts that were given to him, his pulsing, near-purple cock hitting his abdomen every time his twin pushed into him. The smaller brunet couldn’t even form words, managing only to make breathless mewls and moans as he was filled over and over again.

Steve slowly picked up his pace as he continued to guide the entire chain, deep and sure. It was a hell of a sensation being embedded inside Bucky, loving him like he’d wanted to do since high school. Moaning, Steve buried his face in Bucky’s back and began to angle his hips slightly, dragging across Bucky’s prostate.

With a deep groan, Bucky said, “damn . . . already . . . so near . . . wanna feel this . . . all night . . . close . . .” He matched Steve’s thrusts by angling inside TJ to hit his twin’s prostate as well.

As his prostate was pounded against, sending jolts of pleasure up his spine, TJ could feel his orgasm approaching fast. “Gonna . . . please . . .” He needed permission, needed to hear it was okay for him to release all the pleasure that had been building up.

Knowing that he couldn’t string the twins too long on this first time, the sensations would be overwhelming, Steve said, “want you both to cum at the same time.” He was nowhere near cumming, but didn’t mind, knowing TJ and Bucky would be better off orgasming then waiting for him to catch up.

Bucky groaned and nodded, “Can we . . . cum now . . . Teej? Feel like . . . balls explode . . .” Bucky moaned low and came hard without further warning, filling his brother’s ass with thick jets of hot cum, muscles clenching around Steve’s sliding cock, freezing his lover’s motion.

With a soft moan, feeling his brother filling his ass, TJ let himself fall over the edge, striping the comforter below them with his seed. He struggled to keep himself propped up, his body quivering with the sensations.

Steve carefully slid from Bucky’s passage then helped Bucky to ease from TJ. Lowering Bucky, one-armed, to the mattress, Steve reached out with his other arm to stroke TJ’s back. “Good boys,” he praised, smiling. He thrived on pleasuring his lovers. Steve got up to get the cleaning supplies and water so he could tend the two spent men.

Panting, TJ slowly let his entire body fall to the mattress, not caring at the moment that he lay in his own cum. He nuzzled the soft bed, letting a pleased mewl escape his lips. “That . . . that was good.”

Chuckling, Steve said, “Bucky’s fallen asleep, pet. Let me get you to a cleaner section.” He carefully scooped up his husband and kissed his lips, moving him to the other side of the bed, unfortunately away from Bucky as the mess was in the middle. “Rest. I’ll clean you guys up then we can worry about getting this bed changed. You did so good for Bucky, babydoll.”

Preening under the praise, TJ said, settling back against the fluffy pillows, “I’m your good boy, Sir. We can get Bucky whipped into shape.”

“Whipped is the correct word. He’s got attitude and a needy greed we need to work on. I’ll need to have you show Bucky how to go, how to take his just punishments and accept his rewards just as well.” Steve kissed TJ’s lips. “You’re such a good boy, Bucky will learn so much from you.” He began to wash TJ off with the warm cloth.

“You think?” TJ murmured tiredly, always so drained after a scene. “I wanna show Bucky, Sir. I can be a good teacher, even if I didn’t get much of a chance to show it.”

“And if you make mistakes, I’ll show you the error of your ways,” Steve murmured and lightly smacked TJ’s ass. He dropped a kiss over the slight red mark, already fading. “Now get some sleep. We’re going to be busy today.”

 

As if he’d been waiting for permission, TJ quickly fell asleep, feeling happy and loved.

Steve finished tending the twins and, while they napped, managed to carefully move each one to the next bedroom. Then he left them sleeping beside each other as he stripped and cleaned up the bed, remaking it. He finally sighed, a half moan, as he realized that _this time_ his erection wasn’t going down with busy work. He headed to the bathroom to lotion up and jerk off.

Almost an hour later, TJ slowly blinked awake, happy that he was clean and warm under the covers and snuggled up against his twin. He pushed up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and running his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more than it had been from both the sex and sleeping. Noticing that they were in Bucky’s room, not the master where he remembered falling asleep, TJ slipped out of the bed. Trying to keep quiet so Bucky could still rest, TJ made his way back to the master bedroom so he could grab some clothes. He pulled on a pair of his red silk trousers and one of Steve’s sweatshirts, wanting to feel warm and comfortable that day.

Steve was not in either bedroom. Instead, it sounded like he was in the master bathroom and making soft, frustrated sounds.

Tilting his head, confused at the sounds, TJ padded over to bathroom and knocked softly, “Sir? Everything okay?”

Glancing up, throbbing cock still in hand, Steve called out, “not this time. I’m beginning to worry.”

“Do you need my help, Sir?” TJ asked, his hand falling to rest on the door knob though he didn’t open it yet. 

“Yeah, think I do. Starting to get painful, baby.” Steve’s voice came back breathless and strained.

Opening the door, TJ’s eyebrows shot up in surprise when he saw his husband masterbating, “you’ve been hard this whole time?” The smaller man immediately walked over and replaced Steve’s hand with his own, twisting and pulling at Steve’s thick cock.

“Yeah. Usually I can get it finished in a few minutes, but this time it’s not working. I can’t get enough feeling or something.” Steve sighed, still seated on the toilet cover, letting TJ work with his glorious hands. His cock was a very dark purple and had ceased weeping.

“Poor Sir. I was a bad boy to leave you needy,” TJ looked up at Steve, kneeling down between the blond’s legs to lap at the man’s dry cockhead, still using his hand at the base.

Steve groaned and let his head drop back. “I love your touch, baby.”

TJ attempted to make his husband cum for several minutes before he pulled away with a frown, pale eyes worriedly flickering to look up at Steve.

Steve groaned, “almost there . . .” he tangled his fingers in TJ’s hair, feeling that elusive release so close.

Nodding, TJ took Steve’s cock into his mouth once more and began sucking and swallowing around his husband’s thick shaft, trying everything he knew to get Steve to cum.

Finally, Steve let out a shout and came hard down TJ's throat. He gripped the brown curls almost painfully but didn't thrust. Throwing his head back, eyes closing in relief, Steve moaned as his balls emptied jet after jet of thick cum. He panted after the release, aching but finally feeling relief. Slowly, he began to tenderly stroke TJ’s hair. “My good boy . . .”

Making sure to clean Steve’s cock before pulling off, happy that he’d managed to swallow all of his husband’s cum so he didn’t dirty the blond’s sweatshirt, TJ nuzzled at Steve’s thigh. He enjoyed the praise and love in Steve touch and tone.

Steve smiled down at TJ. “I swear your mouth is magic, pet. Thanks. It was beginning to hurt.”

“Don’t want you hurtin’, Sir,” TJ murmured, still nuzzling, “you know you can always ask me to help you. I don’t mind . . . I like to help my Captain.”

Smiling, Steve eased onto his feet. “I love having my precious boy help me out, too, pet. You’re so good to me.” Pulling TJ gently to his feet, Steve kissed him. “My love, my husband.”

Humming against Steve’s lips, TJ said, “I love you, Sir.”

“Bucky’s still napping?” Steve asked, sounding amused. He started the shower once more and began peeling TJ’s clothes off.

“Am I still dirty, Sir?” TJ teased, not arguing the fact that Steve undressed him despite having just put the clothes on a few minutes before.

“Nope, but I love the way you clean me,” Steve smiled and stole another kiss. “Wanna shower with my good boy.”

“Okay,” TJ nodded, letting Steve pull him into the shower for the second time that morning. He began soaping up a cloth to clean his husband with.

“TJ, you’re happy, right?” Steve smiled softly at the lean man.

Frowning, TJ looked at Steve and asked, “do I not seem happy? Both you and Bucky have asked me that.”

Nodding, Steve said, “I guess we’re both worrying about you. Know the trial is reset for early January. And I know you’ve been a virtual prisoner in our home. But you keep smiling. I wanted to know if you’re really happy or just keeping a brave front?” He stroked TJ’s cheek.

Sighing softly, TJ shrugged one shoulder as he starting washing Steve’s chest, “I am happy, I like what we have . . . what we have with Bucky. I don’t mind staying home . . . I - - I . . . it’s the only place I know that’s safe. With Brock out . . . I keep thinking if I step foot outside . . . he’s gonna take me someplace you or Bucky won’t be able to find me. I . . . I’m terrified all the time, Steve, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy either.”

Nodding, accepting TJ knew his own mind and spoke the truth, Steve cupped his husband’s face and tenderly kissed him. “I _love_ you so much, TJ.”

“I love you, too,” TJ echoed with a soft smile.

It didn’t take long for Steve to get clean. As the pair dried off, Bucky came looking for them. He smiled sleepily, looking well fucked and happy, “Hey, didn’t we start this in the shower?”

Pulling Steve’s sweatshirt back on, TJ flashed a smile at Bucky, “Steve needed another one. I helped him out. How’re you feeling, Buck?”

“Glorious, sore, and drained,” Bucky promptly answered. “Want breakfast. Chocolate chip pancakes.” He grinned and walked over to TJ, planting a kiss on his twin’s lips. “Love you, brother mine.”

“I can do that,” TJ nodded, smiling against Bucky’s lips, “and I love you, too.” The smaller brunet stepped away from Bucky to put on his brother collar and his at-home collar. He stepped out into the hallway, barely managing to dodge Luna and Phil as they bounded down the hall towards the stairs.

TJ headed into the kitchen, making a pot of coffee before pulling out all the ingredients he’d need for chocolate chip pancakes. He also pulled out a package of breakfast sausage to add a protein that he knew Steve and Clint would enjoy.

Steve walked out to the bedroom to get dressed, also donning sweatpants with a tight t-shirt. He knew his men liked to see him displayed a bit so kept up with the idea of form fitting shirts. “Gonna walk Phil, baby. Be right back,” he shouted out after TJ’s retreating form. He knocked on Clint and Natasha’s door on the second floor, not minding bounding up and down the steps repeatedly. “Gonna walk Lucky or you want me to?”

The door opened and revealed a sleepy looking Natasha, not looking entirely pleased to be woken up.

Clint stood right behind Nat, looking rumpled in his sweatpants and sweatshirt. “Go back to bed, Tasha. I got this. I’ll even shoot him for you next time he does that.”

Steve grinned and grabbed Clint’s arm, tugging him towards the front door.

“Now I’m up and smell coffee and food,” she grumbled.

Bucky grinned at Nat. “Sorry about him, but he’s always been a punk. You know that.”

“Not gonna live much longer if he keeps waking me up,” Natasha commented, heading down the stairs, towards the kitchen where the smell of breakfast was coming from. “Your brother is an angel,” she said to Bucky, smelling the air.

“Yup, pancakes, sausage, and coffee!” Bucky headed into the kitchen to encircle his twin in his arms and kiss the back of TJ’s neck. “My perfect angel,” he confirmed.

“Just food and coffee,” TJ laughed, flipping the pancakes on the griddle.

“You know, I figured out the perfect way to stop a zombie apocalypse,” Bucky said, letting go of TJ and reaching for a plate of muffins to heat in the toaster oven.

“Oh?” TJ called over his shoulder at his brother.

“Yeah, coffee, real strong coffee.” He grinned widely, “It’s the perfect cure of morning zombieism, so why not an apocalypse?

 

Snorting softly, TJ nodded and put the first round of chocolate chip pancakes onto a plate, pouring more batter on the hot griddle.

“I’m serious.” Bucky grinned. “Behold the magic of a wonder cure.” And Bucky handed Natasha her coffee, prepared just right. “From zombie queen evil murderer to sweet and patient in just one cup.”

Natasha’s emerald green eyes narrowed at Bucky as she took the cup. “Blame Steve. He woke me up too early.” She sipped at the drink and made a soft humming noise.

Grinning, Bucky spread his hands. “And did I lie?” he asked TJ.

“Staying out of this one,” TJ laughed, shaking his head. He put the sausage in a heated pan, knowing the meat would be ready pretty close to when Steve and Clint got back.

TJ’s timing was perfect, as the two dog owners trudged in with weary, happy dogs by the time breakfast was completely ready. Steve grinned wide and went to kiss TJ in appreciation. Somehow his morning run often seemed to replace coffee for the blond. Clint, however, needed his fix and headed for the coffee with a grumble.

Once Clint sat down next to Natasha, TJ placed a plate of pancakes, sausage and a muffin in front of the blond.

“An angel,” Clint sighed, smiling widely. He glanced up at TJ. “Me and Tasha appreciate your culinary talents so early on a holiday. Here’s to not getting called in for once!” And Clint lifted his coffee mug to TJ.

“You guys think way too much of food,” TJ laughed, giving the rest of the family members their plates. He lifted his mug in Clint’s direction with a soft smile before taking a drink of his vanilla coffee.

Bucky chuckled, “and you don’t appreciate yourself enough, brother mine.”

Steve nodded, cutting into his sausage and spearing a piece of syrupy pancake on the same fork. “Love how you feed me, TJ.”

“It’s the least I can do after what you all have done for me these last few months,” TJ said, eating at his own breakfast.

“All I’ve done, big brother, is love you like you should be. It’s the way you should be treated always.” Bucky got up and moved over to kiss at TJ’s neck a couple times before refilling his coffee then sitting back down again.

“I participated in giving you a kitten,” Natasha piped up, smiling at TJ between bites of her meal. 

Laughing softly, TJ nodded, “that’s probably the best thing anyone’s done,” he teased.

“So,” Clint said, sitting back and enjoying his coffee now that he’d filled up on good food. “What’re everyone’s plans for today?”

“Staying out of the snow?” TJ said, “unlike you crazy people who like to take a walk in it.”

“What? You don’t like snow?” Clint looked surprised then mischievous. “Snowball fight anyone?”

“I’m gonna pass,” TJ laughed, shaking his head, “I like having feeling in my toes, thank you very much.”

“Maybe you need better winter gear, Teej,” Clint chuckled.

“Perhaps. But, since I’m not planning on going out to buy said winter wear today, I’m gonna relax in my nice warm house and watch the pretty snow fall. Don’t need to freeze my ass off to enjoy it,” TJ stated, grinning at Clint, “maybe watch some Christmas movies with a nice hot beverage and curled up in a blanket. That sounds much better than getting cold balls of snow thrown at my face.”

“Cold balls? Don’t want cold balls,” Bucky chuckled and Clint snickered.

“I honestly believe you two are actual twelve year olds,” Natasha said with a fond smile.

“That makes you a cougar, right?” Bucky laughed.

“Better believe it,” Natasha snarked in return.

Steve grinned and said, “so, are we gonna do anything today or just sit around and drink coffee? I have a feeling I know Bucky’s choice is coffee.”

“Well,” TJ took his empty plate over to the sink to begin rinsing it off, “what do you guys normally do for Christmas Eve?”

Bucky shrugged, “well, we ruled out snowballs and I’ve got all my shopping done already. We decorated earlier than I normally do so that’s out of the way. I tend to like to snuggle and watch movies and eat myself sick?”

Steve laughed, “only because you fill up all day long on greasy heavy foods instead of snacking like a sane man.” He passed his used dishes to TJ with a kiss of gratitude. “Thanks, baby.”

With a shake of his head, Clint brought his plate and mug to the sink and smiled at TJ. “We could finish unpacking the stuff we never got around to. Or play party games.”

“There’s still stuff we need to unpack?” TJ asked, taking Clint’s dishes and rinsing them off before putting them in the dishwasher.

Nodding, Clint said, “yeah, saw some boxes in the old music room?”

Smiling, Steve didn’t protest them checking out the normally empty room.

“When did we put boxes in that room?” TJ questioned, looking a little confused as he turned to pick up Natasha’s dishes, the redhead giving him a appreciative smile. He knew Steve had mentioned getting a piano when they’d first moved in, but with all that had happened since then, TJ thought Steve had forgot . . . and he wasn’t going to bring it up. Steve did enough for him as it was.

“Well, Clint, if you wanted help unpacking, you only had to ask,” Bucky laughed. “Who wants to help Clint settle in?”

“Let me finish cleaning up the kitchen and then I can help you guys out,” TJ said.

“Sure, pet,” Steve smiled and kissed TJ’s neck again. “Meet you in there.” He left the kitchen heading for the art room, still not furnished much since Steve’s art supplies hadn’t filled such a grand room, and the attached music room. Bucky, Natasha, and Clint followed, smiling.

TJ finished what little clean up he had left and wiped his hands on a towel before heading towards the music room to help the others out. Once in the doorway, TJ froze, blinking in shock at the sight of a beautiful piano set up in the room.

Steve slid his arms around TJ from behind and kissed his neck again. “Happy Christmas, precious love.”

“Uh . . . it’s . . .” TJ’s mouth opened and closed, trying to form the words. After a few moments of gaping, TJ turned in Steve’s arms and hugged him tightly, “thank you, Sir! It’s beautiful!”

“Only the best for my love,” Steve hugged back, happy that TJ was delighted. “Not sure the tuners did a good job. Had to rush it while you were distracted. Wanna see if it’s tuned?”

Smiling, TJ nodded and moved over to the piano, his fingers ghosting over the keys but not producing any sounds yet. Sitting down on the bench, TJ let his fingers hover for only a moment more before beginning to play. The instrument was tuned perfectly, and being able to play again brought a serene smile to his face.

Bucky sighed happily. “So, Steve got the right one? He asked Nana for advice.”

“It’s perfect,” TJ answered, looking up at Bucky and Steve.

“I have a feeling I know what you’ll be doing for the day,” Steve laughed. “That’s my big gift for the holiday, but you seemed to need it early.” He dropped a kiss on TJ’s head.

“Hey, if we’re doing presents early, can I give you your’s?” TJ asked, moving his eyes to look directly at Steve.

“Yes, you can,” Steve grinned. “I’d love to get my hands on anything you’re giving me.” He stroked TJ’s spine gently.

Grinning, TJ slipped off the bench and grabbed Steve’s hand, dragging him out of the room towards the living room where they had the tree set up. Pulling his husband towards the biggest present, too big to even fit under the tree, TJ gestured to it with a nervous looking smile.

Letting go of TJ, grinning wide, Steve walked over and began circling the gift. Slowly, he unwrapped it then gasped, eyes wide. “Oh, TJ!” He ran his hands over the art desk in wonder, checking every knob and cup and drawer. “It’s perfect!” He pulled out the stool that accompanied the desk sinking down to the perfect height for drawing.

“It is?” TJ smiled, grinning in relief that it seemed like Steve liked his present, “I don’t know a whole lot about art desks . . . so, I did a lot of research . . .”

“It’s perfect,” Steve stood and wrapped TJ in a hug, kissing him soundly. “I’ve never had a real drawing desk before!”

Smiling against Steve’s lips, TJ pulled back slightly to look up at his husband, “well, I thought it’d be nice for you to have something really nice to work on.”

“And I can set up in that glorious light and listen to you playing in your room,” Steve sounded delighted.

Flushing slightly, TJ nodded and nuzzled at Steve’s neck. He held his husband close, “Merry Christmas . . . Eve, Sir.”

“Merry Christmas and Eve, TJ, my love,” Steve kissed back. “I think this calls for either easing the others into opening their presents or finding a way to get them busy so I can enjoy mine.”

“The other’s should open their presents, too, that way tomorrow we don’t have to worry about it,” TJ grinned, excited for Bucky to open his from him as well.

Bucky laughed. “One more day to enjoy our gifts, is that it?” he teased. “I’m all for opening gifts. Nat? Clint?”

Clint grinned, “gifts!”

Laughing, Natasha nodded, “let’s open presents.”

Steve took charge, turning towards the gift pile, small but certainly enough for the intimate group. “Okay, I’ve got something for Nat in here.” He began handing out presents based on who’s name was on the tags. Then the small group began opening, taking turns so everyone could see.

TJ watched eagerly as it came to Bucky’s turn to open his gift, knowing his brother was going to love what he’d gotten him.

Bucky unwrapped what had appeared to be a series of books but turned out to be literal language study programs from a very well received, accredited language organization. He stared in shock at the entire set of five lesson cycles. “Egyptian?” He looked up at TJ, eyes shining in delight. “I’ve always wanted to learn Egyptian. And . . . the entire series? TJ!” He stood and hugged his twin close. “Thank you so much! Now I just gotta find the time to learn it!”

Hugging his brother in return, TJ beamed and said, “yeah, you said you wanted to learn Egyptian a few months ago . . .”

Clint asked, “what do you mean _find the time_?”

Bucky looked up and grinned at everyone. “I got a job, so my freetime is now limited.”

“Wait . . .” TJ’s eyes widened in surprise, smiling excitedly, “you got a job? Where?”

“The museum called me back,” Bucky grinned. “They said they could use me translating provenances and documents. The more languages I know, the better paid I get. I won’t have to travel much, either.”

Hugging Bucky even tighter, TJ exclaimed, “oh, Bucky! Congratulations!”

Bucky accepted the congratulations from the others, too, and thrived under Steve’s cuddles and kisses. He kept hugging TJ, though. “Teej? Want your present?”

“Of course! I love presents!” TJ laughed, smiling brightly, eyes shining with excitement.

Nodding, Bucky let go of TJ’s body and turned to face him. He took TJ’s hands in his and cleared his throat. “Thomas James Barnes-Hammond-Rogers. I, James Buchanan Barnes, take you as my husband, to love and honor and cherish and care for. For all time. I love you with my entire being and will never fail you or our love.” He let go of TJ’s hands and accepted something Steve handed him. Turning, he undid both TJ’s collars and fastened a form-fitting collar around TJ’s throat.

TJ looked completely shocked, eyes wide and mouth dropped open slightly. One hand reached up so he could brush his fingers over the new collar, a very thin leather one, thin enough to be able to wear under his other collars if he chose. “Y - - you’re my husband, too?” TJ asked softly, looking at Bucky, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Nodding, Bucky said, “I researched about being able to marry and stumbled upon a collar ceremony, TJ. Steve helped me find out more. It’s where we can marry in the BDSM community using a collar and our own vows. It might not be legally recognized, but in our community it is.” He smiled and kissed TJ’s lips.

Steve turned to TJ, “often it’s used by a Dom to proclaim ownership over a Sub, but it’s akin to marriage.”

“It’s . . . it’s beautiful . . . perfect . . .” TJ grinned and hugged Bucky tightly, nuzzling at his brother’s neck, one hand reaching out to his other lover as well.

Steve cuddled his lovers tight, happy, content. He had to admit, this was the perfect Christmas.


	28. Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: Spanking, Denial, Blindfold, BDSM**

TJ sat on the bench of the piano, trying to play through a song, but he was distracted; he felt particularly needy that day. Both Bucky and Steve were at work; they’d given him lots of love before they left but it hadn’t been enough. He was about to go use one of his toys to try and take the edge off so he could at least concentrate on something else.

“Heya, Teej. Need a break?” Clint’s voice came from the doorway. The cop stood in the doorway dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, enjoying his rare day off.

Sighing heavily, TJ nodded and looked over at Clint, “yeah . . . think so . . .” he stood up, trying to cover his slight erection that pressed against his soft trousers. He flushed, ducking his head and letting out an embarrassed sounding chuckle, “uh . . . sorry?”

Clint stepped into the room and straight up to the slightly taller man, though Clint had a stockier build. “For being beautiful and in need, honey?” Clint stroked TJ’s cheek. “You know I can help you if you’re hungry.”

Mewling softly, pushing into Clint’s hand, TJ’s eyes fluttered closed and then opened again, looking a bit blown. Nodding, not pulling away from the blond’s touch, TJ breathed, “need . . . need your help . . .”

Nodding, Clint said, “need a dom? A scene? I can take any role you want. You want me to surprise you?” Clint was quite aware of the limits and rules for play with each member of their family, so knew certain words were off limits as well as certain phrases around TJ.

“S - - surprise . . .” TJ managed to gasp out, his need becoming overwhelming.

Nodding, Clint took TJ’s hand and led him out of the music room, through the art studio, and into the main hallway. Taking Nat’s soft scarf which she’d forgotten that day, Clint smiled and wrapped it around TJ’s head, covering his eyes. “Check in, honey,” Clint purred.

“Oh . . . green,” TJ murmured. Neither Bucky or Steve had blindfolded him before and he was very excited for what Clint may have in store for him.

“Good. You’ll let me know if that changes,” Clint’s voice took on the tone of command he used in his work and had yet to use in their playgroups.

Groaning softly, already feeling his knees going weak in anticipation, TJ nodded, “yes, Clint.”

“Good boy,” Clint praised. He began guiding TJ by leading him with one hand, taking the submissive to the dungeon. Clint was very careful helping TJ down the steps, one at a time, with a combination of soft commands and gentle physical guidance. At the bottom of the steps, he left TJ standing and walked across to the toys and other racks of devices they were accumulating. “You tried to apologize before. What did you do wrong?” Clint cracked leather between his hands, the sound of a belt being snapped against itself vibrating through the room.

Gasping softly at the sound, though unable to see what caused it, TJ turned his head in the direction of where he heard Clint. “I . . . I was needy . . .” he said softly, cheeks flushing with his growing arousal.

“And you aren’t needy anymore?” Clint asked, sounding disbelieving. He snapped the leather again, this time a few steps closer but further to the left. It turned out Clint could move soundlessly on bare feet.

Keening, TJ shook his head, “no, Clint . . . I - - I’m still needy . . .”

“And do you often use the past tense when talking about your current state?” Clint asked, again closer, snapping the leather once, loudly.

Head snapping to look in the new direction of the noise, his cock fully erect and evident in his silk trousers, TJ said, “n - - no, Clint. I - - I’ll do better . . .”

Nodding, though TJ couldn’t see it, Clint said, “you better. Or you’ll get more punishment than what you’re about to get.” Suddenly the belt lashed out across TJ’s buttocks, not very hard, but with three somewhat stinging blows. The hurts faded pretty fast. “Check in, honey,” Clint barked out firmly.

“Green . . . green . . . please don’t stop,” TJ mewled desperately, his hands clenching and unclenching by his sides.

“Strip,” Clint ordered, “but leave your eyes covered. You’re wearing your typical plug, right?” Clint’s voice came from beside the wall of paddles and straps.

“Yes, Clint,” TJ answered as a pleasant shiver ran down his spine. Clumsily, not used to undressing blindfolded, TJ pulled his shirt off and slid out of his trousers and boxer-briefs, letting them pool by his feet. He didn’t move from the spot Clint had left him in, though, waiting for the blond to either move him or order him to move.

“Very pretty,” Clint murmured, stepping closer as he did so. TJ felt air pressure changes as Clint approached, a caress of air current over his nude flesh then the sense of faint body heat in front of him. Suddenly, a soft stroke of Clint’s fingers brushed over TJ’s cock. He encircled the brunet’s erection and said, “gonna need you in the room, honey. Taking you to the whipping horse.” Clint tugged TJ’s erection gently. “Move forward five steps.”

Moaning as Clint pulled on his erection, TJ did as ordered and took five steps, shuffling a little due to not being able to see.

Clint instantly let go of TJ’s cock and sounded disapproving. “TJ, do you trust me not to slam you into anything? Not to hurt you but to punish you the way you need it?”

“Yes, Clint. I - - I’m sorry,” TJ answered immediately.

“Then step out proud and sure. I wouldn’t lead you astray. Two more normal steps.” Clint reached over and took TJ’s cock again, his touch gentle.

The brunet’s next two steps were a lot more sure than his previous ones. He didn’t even use his hands to try and feel any obstacles that may be in his way, completely trusting Clint.

“Good boy,” Clint praised and gave TJ’s cock a strong stroke down the length, thumb caressing the head. He then let go of TJ and said, “reach out. You’ll find the horse in front of you. I want you to climb on. If you need help, you tell me.”

TJ lifted his hands, feeling the smooth leather of the whipping horse and letting out a soft moan. Managing to climb up on his own, TJ settled down on the piece of equipment, face down, his cock in a specially designed groove.

Again, Clint praised him, stroking his ass once, “good boy. So obedient. But you still need your lessons, don’t you, honey? Can’t stay perfect without lessons. Check in.”

“Green, Clint,” TJ mewled, his hips involuntarily rolling, grinding his leaking cock against the soft leather.

“Are you rutting without permission?” Clint sounded shocked, his tone very disapproving. “No one said you could bring yourself off!”

Whining low in the back of his throat, almost as if unable to stop his hips, TJ panted, “f - - feels so good, though . . .”

Clint suddenly lashed out with his hand and slapped TJ’s ass hard, twice. “ _You_ don’t say what feels good. _I_ do. You are a very naughty boy! Do you deserve punishment for skipping lessons?”

Forcing his hips to stop grinding, TJ whimpered and nodded, “yes, Clint. I . . . I deserve punishment . . . been naughty.”

“I am going to punish you like you deserve. And, TJ, this is very important. I am going to keep up the punishment until _you_ tell me _yellow_ or _red_. Got that? Green is being assumed for the moment. Tell me what the current rule is,” Clint ordered firmly.

“Tell Clint _yellow_ or _red_ if I want punishment to slow down or stop . . .” TJ repeated, his fingers curling around the wooden frame.

Clint nodded. “Good boy. You’re learning. Now, are you comfortable? This will take awhile. You are in serious need of a lesson.” The blond ran a strip of leather across TJ’s ass, letting the brunet know just what Clint’d be using to punish him.

“Yes, Clint,” TJ breathed out, trying to keep his hips from pushing back, chasing any touch he felt. His hands gripped the frame even tighter as he pushed his forehead against the the smooth leather of the whipping horse.

“Good,” Clint commented. Several heartbeats passed before the first stinging blow of the leather belt crossed TJ’s ass. Clint hit him three more times, laying stripes of red over the quivering flesh, before another break happened. No break was equal in length, and the number of blows in between were never the same. With the blindfold, TJ couldn’t predict when the blows would come. Most of the hits were of medium heaviness, not enough to break skin. Once in awhile they were soft slaps. Clint never hit harder than medium, but the sheer number would leave red welts for days.

It was only a matter of minutes before tears were soaking the fabric of the scarf blindfold, though TJ didn’t safeword out. Sweat glistened over his entire body, making his hair stick and curl around his temples and forehead. His arms and legs trembled, his grip on the frame tightening until his knuckles were white. With each new hit, TJ cried out softly, moaning and mewling as his cock weeped precum against the bench.

Clint panted as he worked over TJ’s ass, watching the redness and the individual criss-crossing welts. After the last five blows, Clint paused again, but this time the next series of hits didn’t come . . . and didn’t come. Instead, Clint removed TJ’s plug and slipped in his lubed cock, filling TJ with his thick shaft, bottoming out against TJ’s red hot whipped ass.

Moaning loudly, TJ rolled his hips to meet that initial, unexpected thrust. Clint’s flesh slapping against his heated, stinging ass made the brunet gasp in pleasure. TJ tried to thrust against Clint’s cock, trying to get that friction he so desperately needed. The scarf covering his eyes only seemed to make everything so much better.

Slapping TJ’s ass with his hand, Clint began to stroke in and out, deep and hard, slowly but picking up his pace rapidly. “Check in, honey, cause this ass is fine . . .”

“Green . . . green . . .” TJ panted, trying to match up with Clint’s rhythm, loving how the blond filled him almost as much as Steve did.

“Good,” Clint grunted. He couldn’t reach around for TJ’s cock since it was in the special groove of the horse, so Clint placed his hands on TJ’s hips and thrust hard, over and over. “TJ . . . you remember why you’re getting this lesson?” Clint grunted hard.

Giving up on trying to match Clint’s pace, letting his body jar and move with each thrust, TJ whimpered and tried to think of the specific reason as to why he was being punished. “I - - I . . . was being . . . naughty?”

“And how were you naughty _this_ time,” Clint thrust hard then pulled almost all the way out and slapped TJ’s ass hard, using his hand harder than he had the belt, able to judge better with his own flesh how much damage he might do or not.

Crying out at the hit, TJ keened and whimpered, his hips pushing back to chase the blond’s cock. “I . . . I used past tense? And . . . and didn’t let myself trust . . . you at first?”

“You’re being punished for not trusting me,” Clint confirmed, hitting again then sliding in hard and bottoming out.” Clint curled over TJ’s back and whispered, “you wanna cum, honey?”

“Do . . . do I deserve it?” TJ breathed.

“I didn’t say you could or deserve it, I asked if you _wanted_ it,” Clint growled. “Sir’s right, you need to learn to listen, don’t you?”

Nodding, TJ whimpered and mewled, thrusting back to get Clint deeper, TJ answered, “yes, Clint. I - - I want to cum, Clint . . . please . . . please . . .”

Clint pulled out completely and stepped back. “Okay, stand if you can.”

Whimpering at the loss of Clint’s cock, TJ slowly let go of the frame and shakily pushed up. He managed to get off the horse, but stumbled slightly, his legs shaking and ass burning with every movement. His hand blindly reached out to grab onto something so he wouldn’t fall, barely missing the sturdy piece of equipment. Stumbling again, TJ managed to catch onto Clint’s arm, who was right by his side.

Clint circled an arm around TJ’s waist, avoiding his red stinging ass. "I'm gonna lay you on your side, honey, on the floor and finish fucking you good. You may cum at any time, but I'm gonna keep going until I cum, too, so feel free to enjoy it. Remember, check in. I won't stop until I feel like it or am told."

“Yes, Clint,” TJ nodded, letting the blond move him however he wanted.

Clint lowered TJ down onto his right side, lifting his left leg. Sliding into TJ’s ass once more, Clint began that brutal pace as if there had been no pause, deep and hard and fast. The sound of flesh slapping filled the room along with Clint’s grunts. He didn’t touch TJ’s cock, as promised; Clint worked on getting himself off. TJ would have to take his own release or wait on Clint’s pleasure.

Moaning and groaning with each brutal thrust, the welts on his ass stinging every time Clint bottomed out, TJ held off on touching his own weeping cock for the moment. He wanted to see if he could cum untouched with Clint; so far the only person who had done that was Bucky.

Clint groaned softly and angled his hips, crashing over TJ’s prostate three times before cumming hard, without warning, deep in TJ’s ass. Clint kept still as he shot jet after jet of thick, hot cum deep in TJ’s passage. Burying his face in TJ’s neck, Clint let out a growl, “cum!” he ordered harshly.

At the order, TJ’s cock pulsed and he came hard with a loud groan, his mouth hanging open silently. He continued to pant heavily, his cheeks almost as red as his whipped ass. The blindfold was thoroughly soaked with tears and sweat.

Stroking TJ’s hair gently, still buried deep in his lover, Clint pulled off the soft scarf blindfold. He dropped kisses on TJ’s neck, gently murmuring “what a good, precious boy he is. So obedient, waiting for Clint to cum first. So good at taking his punishment and lessons.”

Keening, TJ’s eyes blinked several times as he got adjusted to the lights of the dungeon; luckily the lighting was low so it didn’t hurt. The brunet turned his head to look back at Clint and he nuzzled at the blond’s sweat-sheened neck. “‘M a good boy . . .” he murmured, still trying to catch his breath.

Nodding, Clint finally, carefully, pulled out of TJ’s well-worked ass. The strong officer easily lifted the taller, thinner man and carried him to the bed, laying him down on his side. Handing TJ a bottle of water, Clint ordered, “drink half of that, honey, before you’re allowed to sleep.”

TJ nodded and took the bottle with a slightly shaky hand. He began to sip at the water as his breathing evened out. He watched Clint with release-blown eyes as the blond got cleaning supplies.

Smiling, Clint carefully washed up TJ’s cock and ass then cleaned himself off. Nude, he got busy cleaning the floor and the horse. “You drinking, honey? Check in.”

“Green . . .” TJ murmured between sips of water. “Drinking, Clint . . .”

“There’s my good boy,” Clint smiled. “You feeling the music flowing again, honey? Gonna be able to play once you’ve had your nap?” Clint looked over to make sure TJ was drinking the prescribed amount.

“Think so,” TJ nodded sluggishly, finally finishing half of the water bottle.

Clint slid the bottle out of TJ’s lax fingers, setting it close so TJ could drink more when he woke. Drawing a blanket over his lover, Clint kissed TJ’s temple. “Sleep, honey. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Smiling softly, TJ nodded and let his eyes close, falling asleep within moments.

Clint grinned and walked over to his sweats, glad they were the ones with the pocket. He pulled out his phone and called Natasha. “Hey, Tasha. Just thought I’d say I owe you a new cashmere scarf.”

“And why is that?” Natasha asked, sounding curious but not upset.

“TJ needed a scene,” Clint responded, smiling fondly over at the other man. “And he wanted me to give it to him. Our first private one. He really trusts and accepts me, Tasha.”

“Really? That’s great, Clint! He hasn’t even let me do a scene with him, just the two of us, but I think that has something to do with me being a woman, so he's not really sexually attracted to me. . . not necessarily being that he doesn’t trust me,” Natasha’s voice was happy for her boyfriend.

“Yeah, he wanted punishment and I used your scarf as a blindfold. But it was worth it. Did you know he can cum untouched? He’s got great stamina, too.” Clint sounded happy. He wasn’t in love with TJ like Bucky or Steve, but he had been feeling a bit of an outsider, feeling silently rejected all that time.

“You got him to cum untouched?” Clint could hear the genuine shock in her voice.

“I didn’t do anything but order him to cum, actually. What, he doesn’t usually?” Clint was surprised at that. True, most men couldn’t or didn’t, but one heard stories.

“No, Clint. The only person who can make him cum untouched is Bucky. Not even Steve,” Natasha explained.

“Wow,” Clint breathed, glancing over TJ to make sure he was still happily napping, “guess he really needed that scene, huh?”

“Clint . . . even at his most needy, Steve hasn’t been able to get him to cum untouched. Not sure what that could mean . . . but, it’s something special,” Natasha stated.

Clint hesitated. “Maybe Steve never tried? He’s a very touchy-feely kinda guy, Tasha.”

“Maybe? No sure,” Natasha agreed with a hum.

“Well, I certainly won’t abuse our precious boy. It’s nice to know he’s accepted me. He’s something special, huh?” Clint’s voice softened, “kinda like a brother.”

“He is,” Natasha agreed, “he’s been hurt a lot in his life . . .”

“Yeah, I know.” Clint sighed, his voice turning to a caress, “like you, my love.”

“Well, in different ways, I suppose . . . other than Brock,” Natasha sighed softly. “TJ’s more fragile, though. I feel like he’s about to break . . . if this trial doesn’t go our way this time . . . I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”

“What’ll happen, Natasha, is we’ll find a place out of country if we have to,” Clint sighed, knowing the logistics of that would be a total nightmare. “But let’s not count the loss before it happens.”

“You’re right,” Natasha said, “so, you’re spending your day off with TJ? How’d the scene go? Well, I’m assuming?”

Chuckling, Clint asked, “do you want all the details or just the fact that TJ’s smiling in his sleep, drank the half bottle I ordered him to, and seems to not be shivering for once? I’m staying with him to keep an eye on him.”

“Maybe we should talk with Steve? Say that we need more scenes . . . maybe TJ needs that? It has been awhile since his last big scene,” Natasha commented thoughtfully.

“That’s because Steve is too careful, treats TJ like glass sometimes. Once TJ and Bucky got beat up, Steve backed off big time. Definitely need an intervention. The sex keeps TJ’s mind off his troubles, and TJ likes being submissive, but he also likes a good spanking.” Clint got up to move over to the bed and check on TJ, content when he saw TJ was breathing evenly in sleep.

“I agree. We can try and talk with Steve tonight?” Natasha offered.

“That’s a good idea, Tasha. The sooner TJ gets what he needs, the happier everyone is. Steve loves to care for TJ, give him what he needs. Maybe Steve needs to explore his rougher side, not just his dominant. I basically told TJ that if he didn’t safeword, I was assuming things were green. That gave TJ the power to say stop but to let me continue without guessing how much he could take. It worked well. When I thought he needed a break, I switched from hitting to fucking, and he was in bliss.”

“We’ll explain that to Steve tonight. TJ’s too afraid to come to Steve on his own, doesn’t want his husband to think he’s not happy. I think what you did was very smart Clint. The constant check-ins break scenes.”

“Exactly,” Clint agreed. “But we can talk to Steve and let him know what we’ve observed and how it can be addressed. Steve loves TJ and wants him happy. He won’t get rough unless he’s _sure_ TJ wants it, and with this entire Brock thing, Steve’s not giving TJ what he needs out of fear of triggering or hurting him.”

“Well, we mostly know what his triggers are . . . so if we avoid them, we should be okay,” Natasha stated.

Nodding, Clint said, “I didn’t trigger him even a little and he was blindfolded and being whipped with a leather belt over the horse. I didn’t need to tie him down, he stayed that way. He even asked for release, rather than taking it. TJ was so well behaved, it would’ve felt odd to punish him, so I called it a lesson instead. That felt good, like he was being taught. Maybe something as easy as a change in wording can help Steve, too. I used my hand for the truly hard hits, instead of the belt. Something like that kind of control could help guide Steve, too.”

“Right,” Natasha said.

“Natasha, my love, I think we know what we have to do. Steve needs real lessons in dominant BDSM. Whatever Peggy taught him wasn’t enough by far.” Clint smiled and stroked TJ’s hair from his forehead. “And we can use Bucky as the submissive, since Steve’s not afraid to rough up Bucky or I can switch in there if Bucky’s not interested.”

“That may work. Steve needs to know that a lot of subs crave that rougher treatment. Maybe not all the time, but most subs like a whipping or spanking. We’ll talk with him tonight. I gotta go, okay?” Natasha said.

“I love you with all my heart, Tasha,” Clint said, his feelings evident in his voice.

“And I love you, Clint. I’ll see you in a few hours, okay? Make sure you put some aloe on TJ’s welts,” Natasha reminded her boyfriend.

“Ah, thanks for the reminder. I’ll do that now while he sleeps. I can give him a pleasant dream or two,” Clint laughed, knowing Natasha always complimented his massages.

“Work your magic fingers,” Natasha laughed softly, “I love you. See you in a few.” The woman hung up, letting Clint get back to caring for TJ.

Clint hung up and put the phone down. He grabbed the aloe and pulled back TJ’s blanket, smiling at the reddened ass before him, like a work of art. Clint carefully rolled TJ to his front, making sure his cock wasn’t in an awkward position and that TJ’s face was turned to the side so he could breathe. Coating his hands generously, Clint began to work the aloe into the welts, tracing the more serious ones and taking mental stock so he’d do better in the future. He wondered if TJ would have to be reminded about safe word out or if he really hadn’t been bothered by the welts.

TJ mewled softly as Clint massaged the cooling gel into his ass. A few moments later, the slender brunet blinked awake and he looked over his shoulder at the blond. “Mhmm . . . feels nice,” he purred happily.

“TJ, tell me honestly,” Clint said in an amicable tone, “why didn’t you safe word?”

“Hmm?” TJ lay his head on the soft pillow and he said, “‘cause I needed it, Clint. It wasn’t too much yet.”

“Did I stop too soon?” Clint asked as he worked.

“No,” the brunet sighed with a soft smile on his plush lips, “it was perfect. Even Bucky’s afraid to treat me like that.”

Clint snorted, “everyone else is so used to you being hurt they don’t want to add to the trauma. They’re still learning that this wasn’t trauma for you. Trauma’s taking away the options.” Clint sat back on his heels. “Natasha and I are gonna start a new lesson plan, if we can. We’ll be talking to Steve and Bucky tonight, if you wanna join in? We’re gonna teach Steve to be a proper Dom. He had only rudimentary training from Peggy. Bucky can learn both dom and sub. And Steve can learn how to spank by using me if he’s too afraid to spank either of you. Think that’ll work?”

“I’d love it if Steve spanked me, he’s only really let go that one time with the paddle . . . he only uses these light swats . . . I mean, they’re nice most the time but sometimes I need more. And . . . I’ll help talk to him with you guys.” TJ offered Clint a smile.

“Good, if we can get the entire family in on the discussion, that’ll be best. Then we can all put forth ideas and concerns, too. Right now, if you wanna take a few more sips and get back to napping, you sound tired, still.”

Nodding sluggishly, TJ settled back against the pillows, still laying on his front, and fell back asleep within a few moments.

**************

TJ was still asleep when Bucky, Natasha and Steve finally made it home. He’d hardly moved from his spot on the bed, still lying on his front so his welt striped ass brushed against the light blanket that covered his body. He wasn’t shivering, despite the frigid temperatures outside, and appeared to be quite satisfied and happy.

Steve walked over to the dungeon bed and bent over to kiss TJ’s forehead, surprised to find his husband in such a peaceful state under a thin blanket. He looked over to Clint who sat nearby working on his laptop, both dogs and both cats settled around and on him peacefully. “Hello, Clint,” Steve said softly, “I see TJ’s been resting?”

Natasha had followed Steve down to the dungeon, smiling softly at the sleeping form of TJ before walking over to her boyfriend and giving him a kiss. “How’s he been since we hung up?” She asked, running her fingers through Clint’s hair, her long nails gently scratching against his scalp.

Almost purring, Clint responded, “just like you see him, pretty much. He woke up fully at one point, drank more water, and we discussed tonight, then he fell back to sleep quite happily.”

“Did you put on the aloe?” Natasha questioned, lips quirked in a fond smile.

Grinning, Clint nodded, “that’s what woke him up, actually.”

“Good boy,” Natasha praised and then looked up at Steve.

“Thank you, Mistress,” Clint responded easily, naturally.

“Clint gave TJ a scene today, Steve,” Natasha informed the larger blond.

Nodding, Steve smiled down at his husband, “I can see that.” He looked at the other pair. “It’s good to see TJ finally accepting Clint fully?” He sounded a bit confused.

“My love,” Natasha looked down at Clint, still running her fingers through his hair, “would you like to explain to Steve what happened this morning? We can fill Steve in until Bucky comes down and TJ wakes up.”

Bucky frowned, standing at the bottom of the steps, “didn’t find TJ upstairs, so Bucky’s down here now. What’s going on?”

“Clint gave your brother a scene earlier today,” Natasha stated, emerald eyes moving to look at Bucky.

“Huh, didn’t know he wanted one. He never said anything.” Bucky walked over and smiled at the sight of TJ so obviously happy.

Clint smiled and closed his laptop, putting it aside. “TJ was having trouble concentrating at the piano and when I talked to him, he got hard, like he’d never had his morning sex or anything, even though I knew better. So, I offered to help him out. He agreed and I asked if he wanted to be surprised, which he did. I blindfolded him, took him to the dungeon, and gave him a spanking. He came, untouched. And that’s basically how you find him now, after I woke him up with an aloe massage and some talking about what we plan to do tonight, which I had discussed with Natasha before he awoke the first time.”

Steve stroked TJ’s hair lightly and said, “huh. Okay, that sounds good. Thanks for helping him out, Clint. I hope you enjoyed the private play? A spanking . . . haven’t ventured much into that area yet.”

“About that,” Clint nodded and stood, unseating Sascha. “Steve, when you learned from Peggy, were you given the opportunity to be dom or did you learn through observation of her actions?”

Looking puzzled Steve said, “mainly through observation of Peggy. I was sub to her dom.”

“And did you enjoy being spanked?” Clint asked bluntly.

“No, not really,” Steve sighed.

“Do you think that spanking is cruel, Steve?” Natasha asked softly, trying to let TJ rest as long as he wanted to.

Sighing, Steve sank onto the bed by TJ, careful not to jostle him too much but awaking him anyway. “I think spanking is a form of punishment and can be useful, but only if the sub really misbehaves? I have trouble believing someone who hasn’t done something wrong would want to go through that.”

“Could be a lesson too,” TJ murmured, voice hoarse from hours of sleep. His eyes were still closed as he stretched leisurely.

Nodding, Clint said, “Steve, you weren’t actually given real dom lessons by Peggy, since it seems she did little explaining as she demonstrated herself as a dom. That’s not a problem. It worked for you then. But now, as the dom, you seem to be floundering a little and your books will only teach you so much.” Clint walked over and reached down to pull the blanket from TJ’s body, exposing his welts to the air, checking that TJ didn’t need more aloe or something more serious. “So, Natasha and I thought we could teach you to be a dom by instructing you as you do the dom things. And, if you need someone to work on, TJ, Bucky, and even me, I will be happy to help out since I am a switch like Bucky.”

TJ hummed happily as the cool air caressed over his reddened ass. He looked over at his husband and said, “I’m not made of glass, Sir.”

“Well, I know that,” Steve smiled, seeming not hesitant at all, but the others were beginning to see that the commanding, in control Steve was possibly a mask he wore. “I _have_ spanked you that hard before and you were okay. But that was because you were misbehaving.”

“Once, Sir,” TJ reminded his lover, “I . . . I sometimes need it a bit rougher,” the smaller brunet flushed slightly.

Drawing a breath, Steve let it out slowly and asked the group, “when a sub feels like being punished, isn’t that when he acts up as a signal?” He worried he’d missed TJ’s signals somehow.

“Sometimes,” Natasha nodded, “but in TJ’s case, he doesn’t want to misbehave . . . he likes being a _good_ boy. Clint said that he phrased the spanking he gave as a _lesson_ not a _punishment_. Since our Little One,” she looked at TJ and gave him a soft smile before turning back to Steve, “so rarely misbehaves . . . he’s been denied the rougher treatment he sometimes craves.”

Steve thought over that one then said, out loud, “and TJ doesn’t feel he can ask for rougher treatment?” He looked to his husband, worried. “I just don’t want our bedroom to feel like a torture chamber to TJ. He’s been through so much.”

Sighing softly, TJ pushed up and rolled over on his side, facing Steve, “Steve, you’d never _torture_ me. I know that. And we don’t have to do any of the rougher stuff in the bedroom . . . that’s why we have the dungeon. I know . . . I know that Bucky and I’s attack freaked you out, hell, it freaked me out, too. But, I feel like since then . . . you’ve been too afraid of hurting me. I know my limits, I know when I’m _reaching_ my limits and I _will_ safeword out if I feel like it’s getting to be too much.”

“He safe worded on me on a date night,” Bucky spoke up, smiling. “We figured out what limit had been reached and adjusted accordingly.”

Clint smiled at each twin then looked directly at Steve. He hadn’t discussed his theory with even his girlfriend, but felt it was the time to bring it up. “Steve, Peggy wasn’t the one who introduced you to BDSM, was she?”

A stunned, wary look came over Steve.

Sighing, the cop pushed on, “it was your boyfriend in the military.”

Steve winced.

Sitting up more, uncaring about the welts on his ass, TJ said, “you were his Submissive, weren’t you?”

Slowly, Steve let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Yeah.”

Nodding, Clint pushed on, “and he offered a scene to make you feel better about something and turned it into a gang rape.” He sighed. “That’s not a dom, that’s a torturer.”

“I know that’s not a dom, not a real dom anyway. Peggy showed me that much.” Steve hugged himself.

TJ carefully reached out and put his hand on Steve’s shoulder, “Sir, I know you’d never do that. You’d never hurt anyone like he hurt you.”

Clint glanced over at Natasha then back to Steve. “I think Peggy did you a world of good, demonstrating what a real dom can be. Your relationship ended far sooner than you needed it to. You had a lot left to learn. But, it’s okay, Steve. We all know you’re not a sub, and you don’t have to fit that mold here. We’ve got a sub, a genuine sub, and two switches here to take those roles for you and Natasha. And Natasha doesn’t mind being a switch for you, either. You, my dear, are a dom and we can train you to be a good dom. You’re already well on the path as it is.”

Steve let go of himself to carefully hug TJ to him, aware even then of the welts and trying to shift his husband with care. “I love you . . . all of you. I’m sorry if I left you high strung and needy, pet. I’ll learn well.”

“I know you will,” TJ smiled softly, leaning down to kiss Steve’s lips, “Natasha and Clint will be good teachers, Steve . . . and . . . and I’d like for you to learn using me . . . but if that makes you too uncomfortable, I completely understand, Sir. You need to feel comfortable to learn.”

Clint ventured, “this training can involve all five of us, and even Anne and Doug when they’re up for their rare holidays. I believe we can train Steve to be a good dom while training Bucky how to be a sub and a dom. It’s the best of both worlds. We’ve got two trained doms here to aid everyone. And if needed, we can use me as a sample sub, because I prefer sub over dom, but don’t mind switching, either. And I can take one hell of a hit. But like TJ said, it may be best to learn with him as your sub. After all, it’s TJ’s limits, and Bucky’s, you mainly have to learn. And we can do that while others are watching who are not wrapped up in the scenes, so you know there’s a safety net to stop you or TJ if someone forgets to safeword.”

“What do you think, Sir?” TJ asked, looking at his husband.

“I think I need classes and this is the perfect environment to learn,” Steve slowly smiled, hugging TJ again. “I trust Nat and Clint not to abuse their power over us when I might be too far gone in a scene to register your cues properly. And . . . that means maybe I can let go a bit more . . . not totally, that would be irresponsible, but enough to maybe . . . maybe enjoy . . .” Steve shook his head and suddenly looked sick. “Can’t . . .” he rushed for the attached bathroom.

TJ tumbled off Steve’s lap, Bucky barely managing to catch him before he took a hard hit to his whipped ass. Looking up at his twin, eyes wide in shock, TJ’s eyes moved to watch Steve’s retreating figure.

“And thus we reach the crux of the problem,” Clint sighed. “He can’t _enjoy_ hurting anyone, because he directly associates that kind of behavior to his own trauma.”

“How do we get past _that_?” TJ asked.

“By showing him you are enjoying it, not traumatized by it, TJ,” Clint smiled. “As he comes to understand that you’re not faking your enjoyment to calm a torturer, he’ll begin enjoying giving you that pleasure. He’ll stop seeing it as abuse and start seeing it as gratifying his pet.”

“Too bad he wasn’t here earlier,” TJ sighed and then tilted his head, “is there anything you can use that will give me pleasurable pain without marking up my ass anymore?” He looked at Clint.

“Well,” Clint turned back to the fairly well stocked dungeon. “I did notice an unopened shock collar . . .”

“Oh,” Bucky chuckled, “that’s mine. Nat bought it for me but we never got to play with it.”

“Think it’d work?” TJ asked thoughtfully.

“We can find a series of other toys, too, but that’s one on hand currently. Mind if I unpack my own toys and add them to the collection? I’ve still got them in storage.” Clint offered. “I’ve got clamps and magnetic balls and rings and other shock devices, as well as a few spreaders and hanging bars. Nothing like this beautiful place, but a modest kit.”

“Hanging bars?” TJ asked, blinking in surprise at the unknown term.

“Wanna show him?” Natasha asked with a smile.

“Well, might be professionally called something else, but I call it as I use it. You hook the sub up by the arms or legs, or all four, in a specific position then raise the bar to a specific height, depending on what you’re going for. The idea is to leave the sub dangling just within reach of relief, but deny the sub. As subs get more acclimated and build up better tolerance, you leave them in longer or add other devices like clamps or spankings or air fucking, or whatever.”

“Think we could try that?” TJ asked.

Grinning, Clint said, “oh, honey, we are going to try that and so much more. You need a lot of lessons yet. You’ve barely even scratched the surface of play.”

Letting out a soft mewl, TJ backed further into Bucky, his sore ass brushing against his twin’s jeans, making the smaller man’s mewl turn into a groan.

The sound of flushing then running water came from the bathroom before Steve finally emerged, looking sheepish.

Bucky cuddled his brother back against himself and looked to their other lover. “Yeah, Clint, I think we need you to get your stuff outta storage.”

Clint laughed. “Will do. I can get it tomorrow.”

Groaning softly, TJ pouted, “ _tomorrow_?”

Grinning, Clint said, “oh, honey, you need much more lessons. You aren’t nearly well behaved enough to have me running out to storage in below freezing weather the night after Christmas. But you’ll learn.”

“Wanna play _now_ ,” TJ whimpered.

“A bit of denial might do you good, honey. I think you’ve been spoiled and are in threat of becoming rotten.” Clint continued to grin.

Laying his forehead against Bucky’s shoulder, TJ whimpered again, “Bucky . . .”

Steve took in the conversation and the tableau and said, “TJ, want to make dinner.” He couched it in a nice, calm tone of order, not a request, though Steve didn’t bark out the order.

Huffing softly, TJ pulled away from Bucky and grabbed his silk trousers that he’d taken off earlier. As he bent to retrieve his pants, Steve reached out and stroked a hand carefully over TJ’s asscheeks.

“So gorgeous, my love,” he cooed. His confidence had taken a severe blow, but Steve was valiantly trying to recover and regain his dominance.

Gasping at the burning caress, TJ’s cock twitched with anticipation and he stayed bent over for his husband.

Steve smiled. “So, TJ neede a _lesson_ , huh? I suppose I have been a bit lax in giving you proper instruction.”

“Oh, and blindfolds enhance the other sensations, especially anticipation.” Clint deliberately lumped the feeling in with his reference to physical sensations. “And honey actually thrums in one. Has to be honest about what he’s feeling because he never knows what’s coming next or if he can handle the future. He’s stuck in the moment.”

Steve looked at TJ then Clint then back to TJ. “So, you need a blindfold? Like our wedding night?”

TJ blinked, having completely forgotten about being blindfolded on their wedding night. Mewling, a more desperate and needy tone, TJ nodded, “yes, Sir.”

“Complete trust . . .” Steve murmured. He sighed and kissed TJ on the lips. “I definitely have a lot to learn, baby.”

“Still makin’ me cook dinner right now?” TJ pouted against Steve’s lips.

“Yes,” Steve said firmly and took the pants away. “In your apron, upstairs.”

Looking shocked and then excited, TJ nodded, “yes, Sir.” He turned and headed up the stairs, completely nude. He made his way into the kitchen and put on his apron, which covered his front but left his backside open to the air. He washed his hands and pulled out the things for dinner. His body was thrumming with Steve’s commanding tone.

The other three men and Natasha came up the stairs, Clint carrying a notebook and pens. They walked out to the kitchen breakfast bar and all sat down. Clint put the notebook and pens in front of Steve. “Now, write down a list of what you hope to accomplish by the time training ends.”

Steve obeyed and opened the notebook, choosing a blue ink pen. He wrote _‘I hope to be able to discipline TJ the way he likes.’_

Clint reached over, using a purple ink pen, and crossed out the word _discipline_. He wrote above it _stimulate_ , causing Steve to blink in surprise. Steve looked up and over at TJ. “And this . . . is true . . . he does get stimulated by this.”

Nodding, Clint said, “first lesson for you, Steve, is finding the right words and ideals. You aren’t punishing TJ, because he did nothing to deserve it. But you _are_ stimulating him. TJ, can you think of a better word for what our scene did for you?”

“Stimulate pretty much covers it,” TJ laughed softly, preparing the chicken in a marinade, which he’d meant to do earlier but had overslept. Re-washing his hands before moving on to cutting the vegetables for the salad, TJ said, “also liked how you mostly used the word _lesson_ not punishment.”

Clint nodded and said, honestly, “ _punishment_ felt wrong because, as Steve points out, you didn’t do anything wrong. You were needy, not disobedient. So, you needed something to occupy you and stimulate you, finish where Steve and Bucky had to leave off when they left for work. No one’s fault there, either.” Clint tapped the notebook, monitoring and adjusting Steve’s list as the taller blond kept writing. “A _lesson_ seemed the best option.”

“I agree,” Natasha nodded, slipping into a stool next to Clint, “we should only use the word _punishment_ if someone has done something wrong. A _lesson_ has a lot more of a positive outlook.”

Steve smiled. “I like this, thanks guys! I . . . I think I can . . . _enjoy_ giving TJ lessons in stimulation.” He grinned over at his husband.

“And a breakthrough occurs,” Clint smiled happily. “Now Steve gets lessons on how to carry on this revelation to full practice. But first, let’s work some more on word exchange for what you really want to do or say, rather than what seems traditional.” And Clint continued having Steve write things out, gently replacing words for him.

TJ didn’t interfere, focusing on getting the rest of dinner made for his family.

Finally, as the aromas filled the air and caused tummies to rumble, Steve looked up and shook out his hand. “God, that smells heavenly, Teej!”

“Better,” TJ laughed, working on cooking the chicken in a pan, “the marinade’s a family recipe. It’d be better if I’d put the chicken in it when I’d meant to . . . but I kinda slept longer than I meant to.” 

"My fault," Clint laughed. "I'm sure it'll be wonderful, honey. You are so good at taking care of us all."

Flushing, TJ turned his attention back to his meal. A few minutes passed before the meal was ready and TJ passed out plates to his family. Giving them a small smile, TJ settled down with his own plate. 

Steve reached over and stroked TJ's thigh. "Like the chair on your bare ass, and on those welts, love?" he asked.

Bucky snickered and nodded, “love a good spanking. Oh! You were talking to _TJ_.”

Mewling softly, TJ nodded and shifted in his seat, causing the welts to flare up again. “Clint says he’s gonna let me try his hanging bar, Sir.”

“Hanging bar? Like a sling or something?” Steve asked, frowning in confusion.

Clint chuckled, “slings are along those lines, but this is straight hanging from the bar or the hook or whatever is agreed on. Many people use a hook and pulley to hang the sub by the arms. I have a bar that can be a bit more versatile, tying the arms or even the legs to it for the hanging.”

“Wanna try it so bad, Sir,” TJ breathed out, his cheeks a bit flushed as he shifted in his seat again, trying to hide his growing erection. “Love to be at your mercy.”

Steve reached over and caressed TJ’s cock under the apron. “You trying to keep something from me, pet?” he cooed.

Moaning softly, TJ’s hips canted into Steve’s touch, his fork clattering to his plate. After he realized what he’d done, TJ flushed brighter and tried to hide his thickening shaft again.

“TJ!” Steve chuckled, voice getting louder but not disapproving, “why are you trying to hide your beautiful cock? Or is this too much, too soon, love?” He stroked again.

“Don’t . . . don’t want . . . feelin’ pressured,” TJ managed to breathe out.

“Do I look pressured, my love?” Steve leaned closer and nipped TJ’s neck lightly.

Groaning, TJ extended his neck for Steve’s attentions, his cock fully erect and tenting against the apron. “Sir . . . c - - can we start lessons?” He whimpered softly.

“We’ll start lessons tomorrow, pet.” Steve said firmly, smiling. “But . . . since you’ve been so good and this dinner is so tasty . . .” Steve slipped from his seat and onto his knees, sliding under TJ’s apron to begin engulfing his husband’s cock in his mouth.

TJ’s mouth dropped open, his eyes fluttering shut as his head tipped back in an expression of bliss. “O - - oh . . . Sir . . .” He tried to keep his hips still for his husband.

Bucky sighed. “Me next!” he demanded, and Steve chuckled around TJ’s member, inadvertently sending vibrations through the brunet’s cock.

Clint laughed. “Now I know why the word _punishment_ still exists. It’s reserved for our resident bad boy, Bucky!”

At the vibrations through his cock, TJ let out a strangled moan, his hips thrusting slightly into his husband’s warm mouth. With every movement, he rubbed his sore ass against the chair, only enhancing this experience.

Steve engulfed more of TJ, his non-existent gag reflex allowing him to take his husband deep. Steve began to thrust back and forth over TJ’s thick shaft, humming softly as he worked.

It was only a few minutes before TJ felt himself nearing the edge, “S - - sir . . . gonna . . .”

Tapping TJ’s thigh to give him permission, Steve pulled back enough to have throat room to swallow. He used his fingers to cleverly caress and play over the now exposed half of TJ’s cock.

Keening, a shudder ran through TJ’s entire body and he came, coating the blond’s throat in thick, hot cum. “S - - Sir . . .” he mewled.

Steve swallowed down as much as he could then began lapping up any spillage. He smiled happily as he tended his love, knowing he’d helped bring pleasure to TJ.

Panting softly, TJ’s fingers caressed over Steve’s shoulders, coming down from his orgasm.

Sitting back on his heels, careful not to bang his head under the table, Steve grinned up at TJ. “We start lessons _tomorrow_ , pet.”

“Y - - yes, Sir,” TJ agreed with a slow nod, trying to make sure he didn’t fall asleep since he still had to clean the kitchen.

Steve stood and got a cloth to come back and clean TJ up. He grinned and carefully scooped up his husband, carrying him up to their bedroom.

“Gotta clean . . .” TJ murmured, his head falling on Steve’s broad chest.

“Bucky’ll do it. He’s such a lazy guy, he can get off his butt.” Steve nuzzled TJ and covered him up. “Sleep, pet. I’ll be up later to join you.”

“You sure?” TJ murmured, though it was obvious he was losing his battle with sleep.

“Sir says so,” Steve growled lightly. “Now rest, my good boy.”

Nodding sluggishly, TJ nuzzled at the pillows before letting his eyes close and drifting off.


	29. A New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: Sex, Angst, Anxiety**
> 
> Sorry this is so short, but there was hardly more to say.

Bucky pushed back his chair from his desk and sighed, stretching. He glanced over at the others in the den and smiled. Softly, he called out, “TJ . . . you napping or reading?”

“Hmm?” TJ answered, looking up from his book, “jus’ reading. Get your work done?”

“Yup. Just waiting to have my transmission verified so I can sign out for the day.” He grinned happily, glad he could do much of his work at home.

Setting his bookmark to save his page, TJ shut the book and moved over to his twin, sinking down on Bucky’s lap. “Good, then we can start bringing in the New Year,” TJ purred, kissing his brother’s lips.

“I like the sound of that. A whole new year with my lovely brother and husband and his gorgeous husband, my best friend.” Bucky began kissing back, enjoying having TJ on his lap and in his arms. An insistent chime from the computer drew Bucky’s smiling attention and he reached over to click the mouse on the mail icon. Reading through the brief message, Bucky stiffened and stopped smiling. “What the fuck?”

“What is it?” TJ craned his neck to try and read the message over his brother’s shoulder.

“They received a job recommendation letter from my previous employer and want me to come to the office tomorrow to discuss it - - and my job terms.” Bucky sounded incredulous and angry.

“But . . . it’s a holiday tomorrow?” TJ frowned, looking worried. It must be serious if they were calling him in on a national holiday.

“TJ, my last employer has been lying about why I left the school . . . hinting that I’m a danger to children. The museum’s gonna be freaking scared and fire my ass without listening! I’m being called in on a fucking national holiday to get fired!”

“You don’t know that,” TJ rushed to try and soothe his brother, “they could just be asking if the complaint’s legit.

“Then why discuss my _job terms_ , Teej?” Bucky growled, running a hand through his hair. “They don’t call people in on holidays to wish them well and congratulations. They call them in for bad things.”

“You’re thinking worst case scenario,” TJ pointed out, biting his bottom lip, “maybe they want your side. You can tell them what happened . . . about the trial and pending lawsuit. You’re gonna be okay, Bucky. They know you work well.”

Bucky whimpered suddenly, “a hospital doesn’t call you at two in the morning to tell you your dying father had a good day on the ward, and a workplace doesn’t have the boss come in on a holiday to talk about the employee’s side of things. Good things wait for daylight and working hours. _Bad things_ happen in the off times.”

“Bucky,” TJ said, “we don’t know what they’re going to do. There’s no use in worrying about it today. You’re just gonna work yourself up and make yourself sick.” He tried to meet his brother’s eyes so he could offer his twin a reassuring smile.

Bucky let out a whimper and buried his face in TJ’s shoulder. “I’m gonna be jobless again.”

“You don’t know that, Bucky,” TJ repeated, holding his twin close.

Steve walked into the room, smiling. He faltered and frowned, watching the obviously distressed twins. “Something happened . . .” he said softly.

Looking over at Steve, TJ said, pale eyes worried, “they’re calling Bucky in tomorrow to talk about his job terms.”

“Odd,” Steve commented, not sounding alarmed in the least. “Didn’t they get those situated when they hired you last week?”

Letting out yet another whimper, Bucky didn’t even lift his head from TJ’s neck. He nodded then shook his head then shrugged. Steve met TJ’s eyes, frowning softly.

“They received a job recommendation letter from his previous employer,” TJ explained further.

“Oh,” Steve sighed. “Well, I guess they want Bucky’s explanation before they decide whether to dismiss it or not. And it’s a good day to do it since the Met’s not open then. They’re closed only four days a year, after all.” He tried to put a positive note in his voice, bt his eyes held unmistakable worry.

“See, Buck? It’s gonna be okay,” TJ tried to reassure his twin, “they just wanna clear this whole thing up. You aren’t going to get fired.”

“But why make one of the office bosses come in on a holiday to do it?” Bucky asked plaintively.

“Because, Bucky, that letter would have called you a pedophile, or worse, and they don’t want you running into kids if you really are. This way there’s no risk to the public while they check you out, instead of outright firing you. They could easily do that through the email instead of offering you to come in. If they were firing you, they could wait until the 2nd or do it now. Why would a boss come in on a holiday to _fire_ someone?”

Bucky didn’t have an answer for that logic and nodded slowly, starting to see the point. “I wouldn’t want to pay double time to have a boss come off his holiday to just fire some asshole . . .”

“Exactly,” Steve said. “They’re gonna talk to you when it’s safe. They’re giving you a chance. Bring the court documents about what happened at the school and your original resignation letter.”

“You’re gonna be fine, Bucky,” TJ reassured again, kneading his twin’s shoulders gently, “do you wanna do something to get your mind off it for right now?”

Pausing, as if thinking, Bucky suddenly chuckled and hugged TJ. “Insatiable, aren’t you? Yeah, Teej, I wanna love you.”

“Doesn’t have to be me. I just said do something to get your mind off it,” TJ grinned.

“Yeah, but I’m gonna do you, anyway.” Bucky nipped at TJ’s neck where it met his shoulder.

Mewling softly, TJ said, “where ya wanna do this, Buck? Wherever you want . . . whatever you want. You get to choose.”

“Oh, goody,” Bucky laughed outright. He stood up, careful not to dump TJ, easing his twin to his feet. “So, we can run out back into the snow piles and have wild eskimo sex?”

“Nope,” Steve shook his head, “veto the double pneumonia idea. Try someplace warmer.”

Laughing, Bucky slid his hand across TJ’s crotch and pressed close. “Wanna love you in our big bed, so Stevie can join if he wants.”

“Sounds amazing,” TJ purred, his hips pushing into Bucky’s hand.

“And so, I get to play downer?” Clint looked up from where he’d been on his laptop.

“Downer?” TJ asked.

“Yeah, cause I doubt anyone can keep a boner while listening to political speeches on a holiday, but you both did promise to listen to the speech Presidential candidate Elaine Barrish is giving tonight from her party in DC.” Clint smiled despite the information.

“Hey, we got a few hours,” TJ informed the smaller blond, “plenty of time for loving.”

Bucky nodded and slid his arms around TJ’s waist, nuzzling at his neck.

“What do you say, Buck. Wanna go have some fun before we gotta listen to Momma’s boring speech?” TJ asked, letting his brother nuzzle.

“Yeah, wanna just love my brother and Steve. Let’s go to bed. We can even turn on the television in there for her speech later.” Bucky nuzzled again then kissed right behind TJ's right ear.

Mewling softly, TJ nodded and took Bucky’s hand, dragging him towards their bedroom. Steve followed the twins with a smile. Bucky followed where led and once in the room he stripped completely, letting go of TJ’s hand. Bucky crawled onto the bed and spread his arms, kneeling, sitting on his heels.

“Here I am, ready for loving,” he smiled though his eyes remained shadowed by the traumas taking place in their daily lives.

TJ looked at Bucky and asked, “you sure you wanna do this, Buck? We can just cuddle if you want?”

“I wanna love you, Teej. I wanna be close and hold you and feel you around me.” Bucky slowly lowered his arms. “If you don’t wanna, that’s okay though. We can just cuddle.”

“I wanna love you. I just didn’t want you feeling like you had to if you’d rather do something else,” TJ assured his brother, beginning to remove his clothing.

Bucky finished lowering his arms. "Wanna feel safe and secure?" his voice was soft, worried.

Steve slid his arms around Bucky from behind and cuddled him, kissing his neck. “I think between the two of us, TJ and I can help you feel that way again, Buck.”

TJ came up in front of Bucky and kissed his lips, letting his hands caress his brother’s skin.

A soft mewl escaped the sturdier brunet and he kissed TJ back, his need apparent on so many levels. He pushed his hips back against Steve behind him but concentrated mainly on TJ’s lips, mouth, tongue . . . and hands. “Want you so much,” he moaned.

The smaller brunet continued to caress his brother’s skin, kissing him back with the same passion, letting Bucky control him. He slanted his mouth to better fit Bucky’s, letting his older brother taste and explore his mouth. TJ’s hips rolled forward to grind against the larger brunet's shaft, “I love you, Bucky,” TJ mewled against his twin’s lips.

Bucky let out a low groan and crashed his lips against TJ’s, gripping his twin’s shoulders to pull him closer. He ground his crotch against TJ’s, their cocks rubbing together, sliding across one another. After a long, deep kiss, Bucky groaned, “wanna look in your eyes while we love, brother mine.”

Keening softly, TJ nodded, “wanna see you as you fuck into me, Buck.” The smaller man reluctantly pulled out of the his twin’s arms so he could lay back on the large bed. His legs fell open in invitation.

Smiling, Bucky leaned over his twin and began kissing his neck and shoulder. He ran his hands over TJ’s responsive body. Easing one hand down between their bodies, Bucky began caressing TJ’s shaft then down to his sac and perineum. He moaned low, “need ta open ya up, brother mine?”

“I’m always ready for you,” TJ purred out, thrusting his hips up off the bed so Bucky’s fingers brushed over the plug that stretched him open.

Steve reached over to the bedside table and retrieved the lube, opening it. “My good boy wears his plug so he’s always open for loving,” he said, smiling happily. He offered the lube to Bucky, who accepted it with a smile.

“Thanks, Stevie.” Bucky turned back to TJ and ground their cocks together again, laying over him. He reached down to manipulate the anal plug, making it rock inside his twin.

TJ gasped from the sensations Bucky sparked throughout his body. The smaller man let out a whimper as his hips worked to grind with his brother’s fingers. The plug brushed against his prostate as Bucky rocked it, making TJ keen softly. “Buck . . . please . . . want you inside me . . .” he begged.

Smiling widely, Bucky slid the plug from his brother’s passage. He poured lube on his cock and fingers. Sliding two fingers across TJ’s opening, Bucky positioned himself, lining up, gripping his cock with his slippery hand. Pushing carefully, Bucky slid into his brother, groaning as his brother’s heat surrounded him. “God, Teej . . . made for me . . .”

Wrapping his long legs around Bucky’s waist, TJ’s blown pale blue eyes met his brother’s. He let out another keen as Bucky bottomed out. TJ’s fingers clutched at the sheets below him. Bucky filling him never stopped feeling amazing, always as good as the first time they’d done this.

Sealing his mouth over TJ’s, opening and dipping his tongue out to trace his brother’s lips, Bucky let out a soft groan of sheer desire. He held still as he concentrated on kissing his lover, his brother. Behind him, Steve started kneading his ass, caressing and massaging. AS the tall blond dipped his fingers down over the brunet’s rosebud, Bucky gasped and mewled into his twin’s mouth.

TJ’s eyes slipped shut and his back arched off the bed as he could feel Bucky’s body reacting to Steve’s actions. He keened softly, deepening the kiss he shared with his twin, bringing up one arm to wrap around Bucky’s neck, bringing him even closer. “Feel so good,” TJ breathed against Bucky’s plush lips.

“Belong together, Teej,” Bucky groaned, feeling Steve sliding one lubed finger into him. He pushed back, slipping a bit from TJ, dragging through his passage and over his prostate.

Smiling at the reaction, Steve began to open Bucky up, pleased with how responsive his lover was. He worked Bucky carefully, as always, but found he could add a second finger rather quickly. Bucky was definitely becoming adjusted to male lovers.

As Bucky slid across his prostate, TJ let out a groan of pleasure, his head moving so he could begin trailing kisses down his brother’s neck. He nipped and lapped at the hollow of Bucky’s throat, focusing on the spots he knew brought his twin the most pleasure.

“Love that . . .” Bucky moaned, “love you . . . both . . . my lover . . . my husband . . . brother.” Bucky stroked back into TJ, nearly unseating Steve’s fingers and earning a chuckle from the blond.

“Just can’t keep still long enough, huh, Buck?” Steve laughed. He worked a third finger into Bucky’s passage and the brunet moaned long and low, bottoming out in TJ in response.

Mewling against Bucky’s skin, TJ could feel himself nearing his orgasm, “gonna . . . Buck . . . please?” His walls tightened around his brother’s shaft in response to the nearing climax.

Lifting his head, eyes widening in surprise, Bucky said, “already? God, you are so responsive!” Bucky slid back out. “Steve, sorry, gonna bring TJ off.” As Steve removed his fingers and backed off, Bucky began stroking into his brother, long and deep, kissing and nipping his twin’s neck.

Feeling that amazing heat in his belly, his balls tightening, TJ whimpered, “can . . . please?” He grunted out between Bucky’s powerful thrusts.

“A minute, Teej, nearly with ya,” Bucky groaned as he pumped harder. He gasped, “can you reach my balls, Teej? Wanna feel you play them like your music . . .”

Lowering his legs from Bucky’s waist, TJ tried to reach his brother’s sac and then let out a pitiful, low whine when he realized he couldn’t do as Bucky asked.

Chuckling, Steve reached over and began fondling Bucky’s balls, leaning over to suck at them as he worked them, adding a bit of rimming for his larger lover.

Bucky’s eyes opened wide and he shouted, “Teej! Now . . . cum!” Bucky shot hard and deep, filling his brother with hot jets of thick cum.

TJ let out a moan in response to his ass being blasted full of cum and let himself get lost over the edge of his own orgasm. His cock twitched against his abdomen before covering his and Bucky’s torsos in hot, white cum.

Kissing and lapping at TJ’s neck and shoulder, Bucky continued to stroke a bit, slower, as he filled his brother. Slowly, he eased back, coming down from his orgasm. Bucky stopped, buried balls deep in TJ, holding his brother close. “Mine . . .” he moaned.

Steve stroked a hand down Bucky’s spine, smiling possessively as he watched his husband and lover together, happy, content. Bucky joining in on their loving took the burden of sex from him. While Steve could get hard for TJ and love him readily, he felt relieved not to have to always be ready for his very needy love.

Like any other time they loved, TJ’s body went lax, exhausted and spent in Bucky’s arms. He smiled lazily at his twin and asked, “feelin’ better . . . Buck?”

Nodding, Bucky lifted his face, keeping still. “Yeah, feel so much better surrounded by my guys. Love you, Teej . . . Stevie.” He turned his head to smile in Steve’s general direction, but most of his concentration lay with the man he was still embedded inside.

“I love you both,” Steve added, smiling, sounding quite content. “How you doing, TJ? Bucky too heavy?”

Humming softly, TJ shook his head, looking quite happy, “no, not heavy. Do I have enough time for a nap before Momma’s speech, Sir?”

“Yes, TJ,” Steve purred, “you’ve earned a nap. Bucky, move to your side so you both are joined but TJ’s not suffocating.”

Nodding, Bucky slid from his brother’s body. He turned TJ to his side then enveloped him from behind, sliding back into TJ’s soaked passage. Steve rolled his eyes. :coulda let him get cleaned up, Buck. You need to learn some manners.”

With a mischievous smirk, Bucky said, “yeah? Make me.”

“Gonna get a spankin’,” TJ murmured, eyes already slipping shut as he nuzzled at the soft pillow. He didn’t seem bothered in the least that Bucky hadn’t taken the time to clean him up yet.

“Oh, he’ll get spanked all right, but I’m gonna make him wait for it,” Steve grinned widely, researched down to slap across Bucky’s nude ass once, hard, drawing a yelp then groan from Bucky. Steve got up to gather water and cleaning things for his lovers.

TJ’s breathing evened out a few moments after Steve slapped Bucky’s ass, the smaller brunet   
very content in Bucky’s arms with his husband so close by as well.

**************

Cuddling TJ against him, the trio still nude in their large bed, Bucky lifted his glass of water. “Here’s to Aunt Elaine and her new platform. She really did add that Military Protection idea to her campaign.” He sipped his water, looking well pleased.

Steve looked slightly shocked, apparently unsure if he should believe what they’d heard, despite having given his entire story and case to Elaine’s people for this very result. He’d been hiding in shame so long, it was hard to believe he wasn’t the one at fault any more. The amount of positive press so far showed the people were ready to embrace their military victims. “She . . . she did it,” he said softly.

TJ looked up at Steve and smiled; he rolled out of Bucky’s arms to nuzzle at Steve’s neck, “yeah, she did, Sir. She’s gonna help victims like you. When she puts her heart to something, she truly means it.” TJ loved that his mother had committed to helping military members against sexual abuse, though, he was still unsure over the idea that Sean Reeves was a major supporter. His feelings over his ex-boyfriend were still so mixed up . . . he’d never want Sean back of course, he loved Steve and Bucky, but how things had ended between him and Sean still left TJ shaken.

A soft knock sounded on the bedroom door and Clint’s voice, well please, came through teh barrier. “Any of you want some alcohol or fresh juice?”

“No alcohol,” TJ murmured softly, not thinking over the fact that Clint wouldn’t be able to hear the softly spoken statement.

“Juice sounds wonderful,” Bucky called loudly, smiling at TJ and cuddling him.

Steve got up, unembarrassed in front of their other lovers, and opened the door, inviting Clint and Nat into the room. Phil took the opportunity to slip in, Luna in his mouth, and jump to the foot of the bed, tail wagging in furry sweeps.

Smiling, TJ sat up so he could pet the animals, he looked over at Natasha and Clint and asked, “you hear Momma’s speech?”

“Yes, we did,” Clint smiled widely, carrying in a tray with several glasses, a large jug of apple juice, another of orange juice, and a few beers. He took the beers from the tray, setting them on the floor, and handed out the glasses, setting the tray on the bedside table. “Orange or Apple? And your Mom’s the coolest for taking on such a bear of a problem. One thing I can say about Elaine Barrish: she’s not afraid to pursue her mind.”

TJ took a glass of apple juice and began sipping at it, he nodded, “no, she’s definitely not. This will help her run for the presidency, too. I mean, she needs all the help she can get after everything that’s come to light over the past few months.”

“As long as she carries through her support once the election’s over,” Steve said, softly, reaching for an orange juice.

“She will,” TJ said with certainty. “She doesn’t say something just for the heck of saying something. Like I said, she means it when she promises something. That’s why she doesn’t promise things very often.”

Steve met TJ’s eyes and nodded, sipping at the juice, still looking a bit shell-shocked.

Clint pushed the dog over a bit and sank on the foot of the bed, tugging Natasha over to his side. “You okay, Steve?”

Blinking and looking up, Steve said, “I . . . I think so? It’s . . . people in authority don’t ever help me . . .”

Natasha looked at Steve and watched him for a few moments, “it’s hard to accept that someone is trying to help you when all these years those same people have been putting you down.”

Nodding, Steve looked to their only female housemate. “Yeah, exactly.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair and over the back of his neck. “It . . . it feels like I’ll be slapped down in a couple days again. Publically humiliated for the nation this time.”

She nodded and said, “you’re going to feel like that. I really don’t think that Elaine is going to do that to you. She seems like she genuinely wants to help you and people that have suffered like you.”

Bucky smiled and rubbed Steve’s back with one hand. “We’ll be here every step of the way, Stevie. Don’t worry. We ain’t goin’ anywhere.” He leaned over and kissed Steve’s neck, eliciting a small smile, though Steve’s eyes remained shadowed.

“Speaking of questionable good news,” Clint said, pulling out his cell phone. “Got a message from my partner.” He turned on the speaker for everyone to hear.

“Clint? Yeah, We caught that Rollins bastard. He’s a real waste of space and gave up his boss right away. Says he was hired to put your boys outta commission so Barrish would draw outta the election to take care of things. Gotta go. Happy New Year’s.”

“He . . . didn’t say who hired him?” TJ said softly, eyes wide with the news that Rollins had finally been apprehended. He looked to Bucky and said, “you don’t think he told them about . . . us, do you? All those guys knew . . .”

Clint answered for Bucky, “he can’t tell us who Rollins named, active investigation. And the police doing the investigation aren’t interested in your love life. You were perfectly legal. IT’s Rollins, Rumlow, and their master mind the cops are after.”

Bucky tugged TJ closer and nuzzled his neck. “All of us are gonna be okay. And tomorrow I’ll prove those bastards lied and I won’t lose my job.” His confidence had come back once more after that initial shock hours before.

“And with the retrial coming up . . . this new information with Rollins will help us, right?” TJ said, looking between Bucky and Clint, “you think this time they’ll be able to put away Brock?”

Clint smiled, confidence oozing from the stocky blond. “Yes, TJ, Honey. I think they’ll be able to put him away for a long time. New jury, and you’ve been practicing so you don’t get flustered. And now with Rollins and his link, there’s even more proof against a conspiracy. I have a feeling Brock is one of the hired attackers, despite his private vendetta.”

TJ’s eyes widened more and he let out a soft whimper, “you . . . you think Brock was _hired_ to rape me?”

Clint nodded and lay a hand on TJ’s shin. “Yeah, Honey, I think he really was. Some of the evidence points directly to it, but I can’t mention what and how. Trust me. Rumlow’s guilty as sin, and with the rest of the group? Especially the ringleader? Yeah, they’re going down hard.”

“Damn, it makes perfect sense,” Bucky swore. “Rumlow was hired to seduce TJ and use the relationship to control Aunt Elaine . . . and when TJ refused, it got violent instead.”

“Pierce has the most motive to have done this,” Steve said.

TJ looked to Steve, mouth dropped open slightly, “he’s the one that blackmailed my Momma with those pictures,” he looked to Bucky and said, “remember, after Rumlow’s second attack? He was in the administration office and as soon as he saw us . . . he bolted!”

“Exactly,” Steve reached past Bucky o stroke TJ’s cheek. “I think he’s willing to play dirty to become president, and he’s using you to get to Elaine. Fortunately, she’s smarter than he expected. Just because a woman is willing to try to fight for years to keep a doomed marriage, doesn’t make her stupid or weak, after all.”

“He . . .” TJ blinked, a sudden realization on his face, “he hired Rumlow to rape me and hoped with that, Momma would drop out of the race. When she didn’t . . . he made sure Rumlow had another opportunity. Steve,” he looked to his husband, going a few shades paler, “I think Rumlow was going to kill me that second time if Bucky hadn’t stepped in. He was _choking_ me. Momma woulda been forced to quit the race if I’d died.”

Steve got out of bed and quickly circled to TJ’s side, slipping in, sandwiching his husband between him and Bucky. Cuddling TJ close, Steve said, “and you’re alive and safe. Like me, you got away. When you go on the stand, you tell them everything, baby. Don’t hide the incest, don’t hide the drugs use. Tell what you need to and the jury will see you’re not lying about anything else, either. But,” he lifted TJ’s chin and kissed his forehead, “remember your political lessons and be self-effacing, remorseful, and hopeful. Give the jury someone to support and love.”

Clink touched TJ’s shin again, “TJ, look at me, Honey.”

TJ’s eyes snapped to look at Clint and he waited for him to continue.

Nodding, Clint smiled gently, with confidence, “Matt and Foggy will try their best to keep the very personal details out of the trial. If they come up, Matt will readily admit to incest being _legal_ in New Jersey and has receipts from the motel to prove where you were. Okay?”

“But,” TJ worried at his bottom lip, “if it gets out . . . all of us, not just me and Bucky, will be ostracized by the majority of the nation. It . . .” he remembered coming out as a vulnerable teenager, the awful insults people he didn’t even know, would never see again, hurled at him. 

Nodding, Clint asked, “if Matt can get the judge to agree to a closed trial? One where there is no press and everyone is sworn to secrecy? Will that work for you?”

TJ let out a breath and slowly nodded; he knew, even with a closed case, if it came out that he and Bucky were romantically involved . . . it would get to the public one way or another. However, with everyone in the courtroom sworn to secrecy, at least if the information were to be leaked, the perpetrator would be charged, facing fines and jail time. “Yeah . . . I think that would work.”

Nodding, Clint patted TJ’s shin. “I’ll call him tomorrow. Matt said he doesn’t really care if the first is a holiday if we have case information for him.” He smiled. “Now, with that cared for, and Steve’s case once more opened for real justice, how’s the new year starting to feel, honey?”

Smiling softly, TJ looked around at his little family, a family he’d only known for less than six months but a family he’d chosen himself, a family he couldn’t imagine his life without. “It’s feeling great. This is the happiest I’ve been in my entire life. I have my two lovers . . .” he looked at Steve and Bucky, “my two husbands,” then he moved his eyes back to Clint and Natasha, “and people in my life that I know love and accept me for who I am.”

Bucky nuzzled TJ’s neck, as Steve kissed from the other side. “Yeah, brother mine, we’re your family. Welcome home.”


End file.
